If I Fall
by teresa
Summary: Senior year means endings as well as beginnings, decisions and ultimatums. Their time together is nearly at an end, but their friendship and love promises to last much longer. Sequel to Cause and Effect & Everything in Between.
1. Chapter 1

If I Fall

Chapter 1

----------

"Hey, that's not safe if you leave it like that," the voice calling out to Sasuke could not have been more carefree if his instructor was supervising him from a massage table, but that was always the way Kakashi-sensei sounded. He knew that despite the tone, the words were serious, and despite the nervous energy that was spilling out of him in waves, making his fingers shake and his concentration wander, he saw the problem with the apparatus and fixed it as best he could. Dark eyes looked at the older man imploringly, and he made a great show of checking over Sasuke's work before waving a hand lazily and turning back to his book. "Fine, that's fine. Leave me all the work and go have fun."

"I'll be back in two weeks." Sasuke reminded him, jaw set firmly as he began gathering his things in a hurry, looking around for his keys in a state of slowly mounting alarm. "I know senior year is important, but that doesn't mean I should work all summer without a break."

"You don't try very hard to kiss up, considering I'm head of this department," Kakashi reminded him. "Even made me pay you, and I know you don't need the money."

"I had to or…never mind, it's more ethically sound, anyway, you can't just take advantage…" Sasuke let out a low snarl of frustration. "Where are my damn keys?"

"Oh…these ones?" Kakashi pulled them out of his pocket with an affected grin. On a normal day, Sasuke actually enjoyed his weird sense of humor, but today was important. He snatched the keys away so fast he nearly sliced Kakashi's hand open on the keychain. "Geez, and you want me to write you a letter of recommendation? I just don't know—"

Sasuke didn't hear the rest of whatever half-hearted speech his professor was launching into, because he was out the door, down the stairs, and out of the building so fast he nearly tripped over himself. His face was flushed with excitement as he started his car, and while he logically understood that he still had more than an hour, he paid traffic laws only passing notice on his way to the train station.

He had wanted to drive out to the location of the retreat this morning or earlier, but Naruto had said no. He knew that while his lover was used to having enough money to do things like that, he didn't like to flaunt it, and he didn't like to do anything that might seem like he was taking advantage of Sasuke, even if Sasuke himself insisted that was not the case, that he was more than happy to do these things. After all, part of the incentive would have been that he would have seen Naruto sooner.

It had been ages. They had been able to talk on the phone, but not often, as the retreat that Naruto was on with other specially selected rising photographers had been full of lectures, projects, and activities. By the time he did get to talk to Naruto, most often the other man was exhausted and would fall asleep mid-conversation unless Sasuke took pity and ended it after five minutes.

Since they'd met, their first year in college, this had been the longest they had gone without seeing each other. Worse than that was realizing that, as a photographer, Naruto would likely have work that required him to travel a lot. Sasuke wanted to be a professor, and they had discussed this already. They would live wherever Sasuke was getting his master's degree, and then wherever he was able to land a job, and Naruto would go where his work took him.

As the month-long retreat had grown closer and closer, Naruto had attempted to ease Sasuke's irritation and concern at the thought of being apart for so long by pointing out that once they were out of school and Naruto was working, they likely would experience these sort of separations more frequently.

"_We'll be fine, you'll see. And it'll be practice for when I'm going on shoots everywhere and you're at home being surly."_

They had laughed about it and talked about other things, but it was harder to laugh it off when he was alone, feeling every second as though it were hours long. What if something happened to Naruto? How would he know? What if there was an emergency and Sasuke couldn't get Naruto from the station, but he wasn't able to call him either? What if…what if being separated like this made Naruto see that he didn't really need Sasuke?

That was the one that terrified him the most, and even though they'd been together for over three years, he couldn't help wondering and worrying. He tried to tell himself that Naruto would run to him as soon as he got off the train. He reminded himself of the frequent calls, that even though he was exhausted, Naruto still just wanted to hear his voice before he fell asleep. But doubt lingered, and it would only go away if Naruto came back, and everything was fine.

He desperately wanted that to be the case.

Entering the train station, Sasuke saw that there was still nearly half an hour before the train Naruto was meant to be on arrived, so he bought a paper and sat down in the waiting area, judging at a glance where he would have the least likelihood of people attempting to talk to him. He didn't have patience for most people on a normal day, and today he doubted he would even be able to manage they icy quasi-politeness that usually marked any occasions where strangers attempted to strike up conversation with him. The newspaper was more of a shield from socialization than anything else, since he couldn't concentrate on the words long enough to actually read anything. Time seemed to drag on interminably as he glanced down at the paper and then back up at the clock over and over again.

He almost wished he'd brought someone from the house to talk to, just to distract him from this. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as waves of people would arrive and depart, and hoped desperately to be surprised, to look up and see sunshine-yellow hair framing a face he had come to know better than his own.

_If I miss him so much now…even if it gets easier, will I ever be able to handle it? Is it even possible he missed me as much, too?_

Surely if he had missed Sasuke, he would have asked him to drive out to the retreat, just to see him, even if they weren't supposed to have visitors during the program. It wasn't like this would be the first time they allowed their desire for each other to take precedent over the rules or expectations laid on them. Maybe he was having so much fun…or maybe because he was so worn out from all the activities.

_Or maybe…he's happy to be away from me. To have time to himself._

Sasuke was clutching the edges of the paper so hard he ripped it a little bit. He took a deep breath, set it down, and went to the bathroom to splash water on his face. Looking at his face, splotchy with excitement and terror, he willed himself to calm down.

_I don't want to look like this when Naruto sees me. I want to look perfect, so he doesn't have to doubt, so he knows this is where he belongs, so he always wants to come home to me, no matter how many times he has to leave._

His phone rang then, and he leapt into the air, pulling it out of his pocket and pressing the button to accept the call as soon as he saw who it was.

"Hey! I'm here." Naruto said by way of greeting, and Sasuke whirled to leave the bathroom, rushing back to the waiting area as he responded.

"Sorry, I just had to use the restroom." He didn't have to try hard to spot Naruto, with his bright head of hair and his orange luggage.

"You were just trying to lure me into public bathroom sex again, weren't you?" Naruto seemed to know which direction to look in, and though Sasuke didn't think his dark hair and neutrally colored outfit stood out sharply from the crowd, he put his phone away and rushed toward him at once. The look on his face washed away all of Sasuke's doubts and fears. Naruto had never been good at hiding his emotions, and this was no different. It was obvious that Naruto had missed him, and the happiness that suffused his being when he spotted Sasuke was so palpable it made the dark-haired man flush.

"God I missed you," Sasuke enveloped Naruto in his arms, holding him tightly and nuzzling his neck, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, and the more subtle scent that was just Naruto lying beneath that.

"Me too," Naruto sighed happily, and when they pulled back to kiss, it was like no time had passed, like nothing between them could change or would, just because of a month apart.

_We can do this…we really can. Even if I miss him so bad it hurts, he feels the same way. And anyway, I shouldn't make him choose between photography and me. I want him to be happy, no matter what._ Sasuke was utterly relieved, but he still wanted to get Naruto alone so he could welcome him back more properly.

"Let's go, the jet is waiting." Sasuke clasped his hand and hefted his luggage, heading for the door with Naruto at his side.

"Oh, but can't we go back to the house first? I wanted to see everyone." Naruto's eyes were wide and blue and irresistible. "And all my clothes are dirty."

"Well…okay." Sasuke capitulated at once. Clearly he had grown unused to Naruto making that face at him, and he was completely powerless to resist it. "Not everyone's back, yet."

"That's okay! I just want them to know I'm alive." He beamed happily as they climbed into Sasuke's car. "Plus, I really want to get back to our room, and the laundry could take a while."

"Oh…maybe I should call the pilot and tell him we'll be leaving tomorrow instead." Sasuke licked his lips hungrily as Naruto casually let his hand fall on Sasuke's leg. It should be illegal for something so simple to seem so sexy.

"No, we'll still get out tonight, you know how excited I am." Naruto squeezed his thigh, and the words took on another meaning. Sasuke thought he might crash the car if he couldn't concentrate on driving.

"Did…did you have fun at the conference?" he asked, trying to draw the conversation away from anything that might cause them to never reach the house so that he could deal with his sexual frustration more traditionally.

"Yeah, it was really cool." Naruto assured him, "But I missed you a lot. I kept wanting to call and beg you to come see me."

"You should have, I would have gone." Sasuke responded at once.

"Yeah, but what about your work in the lab? That's important, too. I didn't want to make you miss work because I was gone for a month. I know you don't need the money, but the experience is so important." Naruto told him sincerely, and Sasuke couldn't repress a smile from working its way onto his face. This was what it meant to be in love, and this was what he would always have, if he was lucky. When Naruto and him had first come together, he had always doubted things, had always expected the blonde to realize that he was too good for Sasuke and leave. It hadn't helped that he'd made mistake after mistake. But Naruto had made some mistakes too, and when he did, Sasuke realized that while it upset him, it didn't make him love the other man any less. That was when he really started to believe that this could last, that it wasn't being held together simply by Naruto's kindness and Sasuke's desperation. They loved each other, and it wasn't always easy, but it was always worth it.

Sometimes Sasuke still worried, as he had while Naruto was gone, that things between them might not be as rock-solid as he wanted to believe, but Naruto was quick to ease his fear without even realizing that Sasuke had felt afraid. At times, he wondered if Naruto would still love him when they were older, when his looks started to fade. He knew that was unlikely, considering that Naruto was not superficial at all, but he really had a hard time seeing what it was that Naruto saw in him. He was surly and unsociable, stubborn and demanding, he had a horrible history with relationships, and he had a penchant for alienating people. Naruto was nearly the opposite, and Sasuke still believed that without Naruto, he would not currently be living in a house with so many people he considered friends. He also knew that if something happened to end their relationship, he would be the one expected to leave, and he doubted that anyone would attempt to comfort him, while Naruto would be surrounded in friends who loved and supported him.

_I guess I should just try my best not to fuck up. Although…after losing Naruto, I don't know if I would care so much about being snubbed by our friends._

When they pulled up to the house, he sighed heavily as he spotted a steady trail of his friends moving boxes out to Hinata's van. He had really hoped that this would either already be over, or that it wouldn't start until after they left. This was definitely going to cut in on his alone time.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked him in alarm. "Did something happen? Is Hinata moving?"

"Ah…yes, she's moving in with Suteru." Sasuke shrugged slightly and Naruto scowled at him. He knew he should feel guilty, but he honestly just thought he looked cute when he was angry.

"And you didn't tell me!" Naruto's brow was furrowed, his mouth twisted and his blue eyes were sparking with indignation. "Sasuke! How could you not tell me! How come no one told me?"

"It's no big deal, she'll still be nearby." Sasuke told him. "It's not like she's moving across the country, and she said she'd visit. She didn't want anyone making a big deal of it."

"Then why is she moving?" Naruto left the car, looking at the procession in an injured fashion. "Doesn't she like it with us?"

"Yes…well, I don't know, maybe she's sick of living with her ex?" Sasuke speculated idly, coming around the car to pat Naruto on the back. "Gotta be awkward trying to have sex while you can hear your old boyfriend across the hall having sex with his new—"

"Sasuke! That's so mean!" Naruto shook his head disconsolately. "I'll just ask her, if you're going to be like that. Hinata!" he called out to the girl, who had just left the house, her arms clutching a box carefully, her face lighting up to see her friend.

"Naruto! You have returned!" she smiled brightly at him. "I'm so happy to see you! We were going to have a sending off party for me, and we were going to wait until Sasuke and you returned from your trip, but I am very happy to see you already!"

"Hinata! No one said you were moving!" Naruto told her, his voice thick with accusation. "What happened? Did Kiba and you get in a fight? Or you and Temari? Or Neji and Kiba? Or Kiba and Suteru? Or—"

"No, no, there was no fighting, Naruto." She flushed prettily and shifted the box in her arms. "I just wanted…well, Suteru and I would like very much to start a family. I would like to have many children, and I wanted to start as soon as possible, so since it is my last year in school, I thought it might be good to start…start trying."

"You mean…you mean you guys are going to have a kid?" Naruto's face split into joyous surprise. "Oh wow! That's so awesome! Like Ino and Shikamaru…except on purpose, and you guys are already married, but you know…totally awesome! Wow, is it going to be a boy or a girl? Do you know?"

"Naruto, I am not yet pregnant," Hinata managed to speak, though her face looked in danger of combusting. "I just meant that we wanted to…to…"

"Oh _I _see, so you guys are gonna…oh, okay!" Naruto smiled brightly, grabbing the box from her and leading her to the van. "Well, that's still so awesome! I love kids."

"I've noticed." She giggled.

"Naruto! Welcome back!" Sakura, who had just dropped off a box, paused for a kiss on the cheek as she headed for another trip. Sasuke stood by his car watching in vague annoyance, tainted with the pleasure he felt at seeing Naruto so happy with his friends.

"Hey Sakura!" he nodded so he wouldn't drop the box and turned to Hinata as they reached the van. "But still, you could do that here! We already have Aki, your kid could play with her, and you'd have an army of babysitters."

"I know, and I do appreciate living here, but I think…I think to be honest that Suteru does not like me living with Kiba. I think he is very good about it, and he will not say straight out that he would rather I live with him, but I have come to…well, I honestly feel for him…" she flushed again, taking the time as Chouji came by and greeted Naruto to gather herself. When he moved back to the house, she took a deep breath. "I never thought I could love again, but I do…it is not the same, it will never be the same, but I think that I should show him that I mean this, and I will still be close, so we will see each other. I hope you aren't upset with me."

"No, it's fine, I just…well, I was surprised." He laughed and hugged her. "Why didn't you say you were thinking of moving out?"

"I didn't want you to get upset or leave your special conference. I knew you would think there was fighting." She gave him a slow smile. "You know, there can be other reasons for moving."

"Eheh, guess I'm used to drama." He admitted. "But still, I feel so out of the loop! Did anything else crazy happen while I was gone? Sasuke didn't tell me anything like that was going on."

"The usual, really." She demurred.

"Ah, complete mayhem." He nodded sharply.

"Basically." She smiled again and turned back to the house as Sasuke, tired of sharing Naruto's attention, left his car to stand beside his lover.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me." He grumbled, but he was smiling, and Sasuke knew he wasn't mad. Sasuke shrugged and gave him a small, apologetic grin, and let his arm wrap around Naruto's waist, ushering him inside.

"I told you it's not a big deal." He repeated. "And she didn't want you worrying."

"Oh wait, let me grab my bag! I want to wash my clothes." Naruto turned and Sasuke pulled him back, kissing him just for the sake of the kiss, because he had been unable to for what seemed like so long now, and he couldn't resist indulging.

"I'll do that, you go say hello to everyone." He breathed as they pulled apart only slightly, letting their breath mingle and reminding Sasuke that Naruto had wanted to see their room before they left for the airport. That was a thinly veiled innuendo if ever he'd heard one.

"Aw, so sweet." Naruto teased, but he had a pleased flush to his cheeks as he went inside, leaving Sasuke to go back for the bag. He didn't really mind the stopover, especially if it meant he'd get Naruto alone sooner, and not have to deal with the other man worrying about their friends. He just wanted to be with Naruto, it didn't matter where they were.

He walked in and felt himself freeze momentarily, before he took a calming breath and cleared his throat to break up the scene in front of him. He knew that Gaara loved Neji, and he knew they were happy and he had no reason to think that Gaara would try to steal Naruto from him. He had discussed this with Naruto, with Neji, and with Gaara, but he still did not like to see Naruto and Gaara embracing like long lost lovers in the front foyer. Naruto flushed and stepped away, coughing nervously, and Gaara crossed his arms, looking extremely hostile, in Sasuke's clearly unbiased opinion. Behind them, he could see Neji coming down the stairs, holding a box and looking rather unfazed by the tableau presented.

"Sorry…we just—" Naruto began, but Sasuke shook his head sharply.

"No, it's fine, I know, I know." Still, he turned away so he didn't have to see them kiss briefly, heading down the stairs and sighing with relief when he heard Naruto behind him, coming to help, and probably to reassure him for the umpteenth time about the Gaara Situation.

"I know it's weird, I'm sorry, but I can't just ignore him." Naruto told him as they started unpacking clothes. Sasuke was trying to sort them, but Naruto was just tossing everything he found straight into the washer.

_Mental Note: Keep Naruto away from my laundry._

"No…I mean, we've talked about it enough." Sasuke sighed heavily, handing Naruto the detergent absently. "I know…I mean, I trust you."

"But you don't trust him." Naruto finished. "Sasuke, don't you think Gaara understands the boundaries? He loves Neji, he wouldn't want to hurt him."

"But he loves you, too." Sasuke frowned. "And you…you…"

"Sasuke, it isn't the same as with you, and it never will be." Naruto repeated. "I wouldn't…since sophomore year, we haven't ever done anything serious, and we won't! I just…I like being close to him, and we care about each other. You don't ever get upset when I kiss Sakura, and I had a massive crush on her. And I love _her,_ too."

"I don't know, I guess…well, she's a girl." Sasuke felt foolish as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Look, if you want me to treat Gaara the way I treat my other friends, just say it." Naruto turned toward him, blue eyes glistening with concern. "You said it didn't bother you, and you said that it was fine, but if it's not—"

"It just surprised me, is all." Sasuke admitted. "I was walking in, I wasn't expecting to see you two…"

"We missed each other." Naruto shrugged. "I didn't think…I mean, I don't want this to be a battle, and I don't want you to stew about it and be sullen for the next two weeks. Just tell me what you want, and I'll do it. I love Gaara, but it isn't nearly the same as the way I love you."

Sasuke blinked at Naruto and licked his lips. This wasn't the first time this had come up. Ever since he had told Naruto during their junior year that he didn't want Naruto to have to tiptoe around him, that he was fine with the hugs and the mostly-chaste kisses, and even with the two of them lying together the way they did so frequently when one of them was upset, Naruto had revisited the subject countless times. He couldn't understand why Sasuke would allow these shows of affection now, after when they were separated and Gaara and he had slept together. Neji had come around even earlier, which was a bit more surprising, since he had walked in on them. Gaara had explained to Naruto that Neji understood him, and understood his feelings for both Neji and Naruto as separate, but important, but Naruto had a hard time seeing how either Sasuke or Neji could be okay with it. It wasn't like they were making out or doing anything sexual, but Naruto didn't think he would be okay with Sasuke and Neji snuggling or really having anything like the sort of free and easy affection that Naruto and Gaara shared. But then again, Sasuke had explained to him that he didn't love Neji, and that while they had forged an uneasy friendship over the years, they would likely not associate with each other at all if it weren't for the sake of Naruto and Gaara.

"I can't make you give him up." Sasuke finally answered. "I can't help the knee-jerk reaction, but I don't honestly want you to have to ignore him any more than I would want you to have to ignore all our friends."

Sometimes, when he was at his most selfish and insecure, he was tempted to tell Naruto that he had to stop being so openly affectionate with Gaara. Sometimes, he was even jealous of the relationship Naruto had with Sakura, or Hinata, or anyone in the house. He had felt surges of jealousy seeing Naruto wrestle Kiba, seeing him make cookies with Chouji, seeing him coddle Aki. He was a jealous person, and he had come to accept that. He had also come to learn to control it, and to recognize it as irrational at times, and to see that no matter what doubts his mind screamed at him, he could always trust Naruto.

But with Gaara…it was different. Naruto had never seen it as different before they had sex, but as Sasuke had reminded him time and again, if he was allowed to make all the mistakes he personally had made, he couldn't hold that one thing against Naruto. He had initially been very paranoid and uneasy about the situation, but when he had told Naruto that he was okay with it, he had meant it. He wouldn't have said it if it weren't true. This was one subject where he felt that Neji understood him better than Naruto ever would. Many mornings they had sat together in companionable silence, knowing their lovers were in the other room, limbs tangled as they slept in the same bed.

"I love you," Naruto leaned in, and Sasuke felt a surge of passion. The same fire that fuelled his jealousies also overwhelmed him in moments like this, and this time he let it burn. Pushing Naruto back against the washing machine, he kissed him fiercely, his hands itching to touch bare skin, and it wasn't long before he had Naruto's pants around his ankles, his arms braced against the machine as he eased into him, shuddering at the intensity of pleasure after going without for so long.

"I love you," Sasuke breathed, hot tears springing to his eyes as he tried to contain the overwhelming surge of emotion and failed. He tried to take it slow, but his body took over, and it didn't last long for either of them. Naruto chuckled as they looked around for something to wipe up the evidence, his legs wobbling slightly and his cheeks red, drunk on emotion.

"Temari would be so pissed." He finally settled for using one of his dirty shirts, tossing it in with the rest of the laundry as they zipped up their pants and turned to go back upstairs.

"If she doesn't want us to do it in the rest of the house, she…well, she shouldn't let us in the house." Sasuke finished lamely, and Naruto burst out laughing.

"You boys knock that off right now!" the sound of Temari yelling made both of them blanch as they reached the top of the stairs, but then they saw Kankurou and Kiba running past with two boxes apiece stacked precariously. "It's not a race! Kiba! Dammit! If you break something—"

"Uh-oh, she's gonna cut you off!" Kankurou laughed uproariously from outside, since they had left the front door wide open.

"Shut up, dumbass!" Kiba smacked him in the back of the head as they came back into the house, having finished their impromptu competition. "You're just pissed you lost."

"Your both going to get your asses kicked if you can't help like normal human beings!" Temari snarled, and then blinked in surprise at the stationary couple standing on the sidelines. "Oh…Naruto, you're back! I thought Sasuke and you were flying out as soon as he picked you up."

"I wanted to stop by and say hi to everyone," Naruto shrugged. "Clean some laundry, you know, drop off some stuff."

"That's nice!" Temari smiled, ignoring Kiba and Kankurou, who were now racing up the stairs and trying to trip each other now that Temari wasn't scolding them. "It's so good to see you!" she walked over and hugged Naruto affectionately. Not only did she personally like him, she thought he was very good for Gaara to spend time with. Sometimes, she secretly wished Gaara had chosen to date Naruto instead, and let Neji and Sasuke have each other. But Neji was fine. Mostly.

"So who else is here? Is Aki around?" he asked excitedly.

"No, Shikamaru and Ino are here, but Ino's parents wanted to take Aki for a trip to the country for a week or so. Give them 'private time,' you know." Temari snorted. "I'm pretty sure they're gunning for another baby, and then I think Ino's mom is going to try and just steal one and see if Ino notices."

"Oh man! That would actually be awesome, though." Naruto told her, his eyes wide. "I mean, not the baby-stealing, just if they had another kid. Did Hinata tell you that Suteru and her want to have a bunch of kids? That's so cool! When are you and Kiba going to have kids?"

"I…I don't…we…I…" Temari went deep red and lost the ability to speak before tottering back upstairs.

"I think that means they haven't talked about it yet." Sasuke escorted his lover upstairs. "You're such a busybody."

"When you say busybody, you sound like a sixty year old lady." Naruto scrunched his face up in what Sasuke guessed must be an imitation of an elderly woman. "That no-good Naruto…such a busybody! And his friends…a bunch of ruffians!" He dropped the face, laughing at his own humor before turning back to Sasuke. "Oh, say ruffians! Say it!"

"I'm not going to indulge you." Sasuke did his best to look annoyed, even though Naruto had looked rather ridiculous doing his 'impression.'

"Shikamaru! Put that down!" Ino was standing in the hallway calling toward her room when Sasuke and Naruto reached the top of the stairs. "Go start packing!"

"What!?" Naruto yelped as Shikamaru left Hinata's room, looking vaguely annoyed as Gaara walked past with a box bound for the van. "You guys aren't moving too, are you?"

"No!" Ino assured him. "But Temari said that since Hinata's moving out, we could use her room as a nursery for Aki."

"Why do you guys need a second room if you already have the biggest room in the house?" Sasuke asked, annoyed.

"Because, they're trying to have another kid!" Naruto reminded him, Ino laughed sharply, and Shikamaru went an interesting shade of grey. "Wait, are you not? Maybe that was a joke."

"Yes, idiot!" Temari's voice called from inside Hinata's room, and she came out, not carrying a box, but ushering past a rather contrite looking Kiba, who was now carefully walking with just one box. "Of course it was a joke!"

"Well, one day, maybe." Ino shrugged, not seeming that bothered by the idea.

"Am I the only one who remembers the nightmarish things that happened the first time?" Shikamaru pointed out, his tone haunted.

"Oh, don't blame yourself." Ino smiled graciously at him. "I'm sure you'll do much better this time."

"Are you—"

"Dude, just don't say it." Naruto cut in suddenly. "Whatever you were going to say. Just don't."

"Okay." Shikamaru shrugged, considering the outcome of whatever conversation he had been about to launch and nodding slightly.

"Why aren't you two helping at _all_?" Temari asked them, and Ino looked aghast. "Don't even try that, you're not pregnant anymore, you can do chores like everyone else."

"But we have to move Aki's things!" Ino told her.

"You'll have nowhere to put them, in a room full of Hinata's things." Temari pointed out as Neji went past with a box. Temari glanced in the room, saw Kankurou bending to pick up a stack of three boxes, and stomped sharply, causing him to freeze. "Don't. Even. Try it."

"Fine, mom." Kankurou grumbled, going past with one box. "No fun ever."

"You aren't moving any boxes." Ino pointed out.

"Have you noticed how much supervision Kankurou requires? That's what I'm doing." She explained. Temari blinked and looked around. "Hey…where's Chouji? I haven't seen him for probably twenty minutes."

"Probably another snack break." Sakura shrugged as she went past.

"Hey, where's Sai?" Naruto asked, realizing who he hadn't seen yet. "And Shino and Tenten?"

"Sai's out getting dinner." Sakura called over her shoulder as she went down the stairs.

"Shino and Tenten are at Tenten's house still. They're supposed to be back soon, but Tenten didn't say for sure." Temari answered the rest of the question.

"Well, I'd like to at least see Sai before I leave. Sasuke, we should help them and have dinner, and then we can go." He suggested to his lover. "I have to finish my laundry, anyway.

"Fine." Sasuke hated manual labor.

"Good, boxes for everyone, you all help." Temari went into the room and they saw Hinata inside, packing up the last of her things, several closed boxes around her. "Ino, Naruto, you take these." She indicated a pair of boxes and the blondes complied, Naruto much more cheerfully than Ino. Sasuke glared at Temari. Not only did he have to help, he had to be separated from Naruto. The world was completely unjust.

"So, you guys are going to that place Sasuke has in France, right?" Ino asked Naruto as they headed down the stairs, and Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"It's so awesome! It's really big, too." Naruto told her. "And it's right by the beach! It would be great if you guys could all come out there with us some time. It has a pool and a hot tub and just a bunch of bedrooms, and everything is like really fancy and nice, and I'm always afraid to touch anything."

"Wow, I'd love to come see it." Ino smiled brightly as they reached the van. "It sounds really beautiful."

"Yeah, Sasuke told me it was part of his mom's dowry." Naruto giggled at that. "Dowry! I still think that's the funniest thing, people still have freaking dowries. Oh man, and there's this chef that comes out whenever we're visiting and makes all the food, and there's a housekeeper and a groundskeeper guy, and the gardens are crazy!"

"We'll have to come out, definitely." Ino assured him.

"Yeah! I bet Sasuke wouldn't mind, and it would be so cool for all of us to be there." Naruto's smile widened as they passed Sasuke, who was looking extremely surly and holding a box. Shikamaru was just inside, sitting at the base of the stairs with a box near his feet.

"Oh my god, Shikamaru, can't you even carry one box out there?" Ino chided him, as if she had not also been shirking five minutes ago. "You are the laziest man ever. I'm surprised I ever got pregnant."

"Hey, I'm not lazy when—oh, hey Naruto." Shikamaru affected a look of indifference. "How's it going?"

"Fine," Naruto tried not to laugh at Shikamaru's attempt to pretend he hadn't been offended by Ino's comment. "Ready for school to start?"

"Eh," Shikamaru shrugged lazily. "At least we're almost done."

"Um, _some_ people are almost done. What happened to getting a doctorate? What happened to becoming a professor? That takes time and dedication! Don't get lazy now, or _you_ can stay home with Aki while _I _go to medical school."

"We could just let your parents keep her." Shikamaru let a long pause cut into his suggestion. "For a few years." He finished, just as Ino's face went purple.

"You don't care about _anything! _Not even your own _daughter!_" Ino stormed upstairs, and there was the sound of a door slamming shortly after she disappeared.

"Oh man, maybe she really is pregnant again." Naruto suggested as Sasuke, back from delivering the box to the van, came to stand beside him. "She was like this last time."

"Nah, she just doesn't want to have to move shit." Shikamaru yawned and leaned back on the stairs. "Not that I blame her."

"You really are pretty lazy." Naruto pointed out as Sasuke snagged his waist to usher him back upstairs. "You think he'll just sit there until the moving is done?"

"Probably." Sasuke slowed him as they reached the top of the stairs, and he peered down the hall, but there was no one outside, until a moment later when Chouji, who had apparently been located, walked past with a box. "Okay, hurry, before she comes back."

"What? Who do you—" Naruto began, but Sasuke clapped a hand to his mouth and pulled him past Hinata's open door to the end of the hall, wrenching their own door open and all but shoving Naruto in before him. He pulled the door closed carefully and let out a sigh of relief.

"Finally." He pushed Naruto toward the bed, unbuttoning his pants.

"But…Sasuke, we should help!" Naruto protested rather half-heartedly, letting himself fall down onto the familiar mattress. "And we just had sex a while ago."

"Yeah, well I liked it so much, I thought I'd try it again." Sasuke climbed on him and covered Naruto's mouth with his own.

Naruto thought of arguing, but by the time he'd seriously considered the pros and cons, he was mostly naked, so he decided it would be best to stay where he was, for now.

----------

To be Continued…


	2. Chapter 2

If I Fall

Chapter 2

----------

"Is there any pizza left?" Chouji wandered into the living room late that evening as various housemates sat watching television and relaxing. Sasuke and Naruto had left for the airport over an hour ago, and shortly after that Hinata had finished packing and set off as well, hugging everyone and tearfully promising to visit soon, even though she was only moving six blocks away.

Now that things had calmed down a bit, everyone was unwinding. Gaara and Neji had disappeared to their room, as usual. Shikamaru and Ino had reconciled, possibly because Ino had only been feigning anger in the first place, and she was sitting on the couch while he sat below her on the floor, his head resting against her knees and soft snores escaping his mouth occasionally. Temari sat next to her, leaning against Kiba, who had the remote and was so surprised that he was being allowed to control the television that he was staying very quiet, so as not to draw challengers. Sai and Sakura shared the loveseat, her feet up in his lap and his brow furrowed as she let him attempt to paint her toenails a soft pink. Across the room, Kankurou sat munching on a piece of leftover pizza, sprawled in a chair and seeming rather content with the movie that Kiba had selected for them to watch. Temari was always making them watch documentaries.

"Couple of pieces, yeah." Kankurou, who had dragged the box over near his chair so that he'd be able to partake of the leftovers as soon as his stomach felt up to another piece, gestured lazily at the remains of their dinner.

"Awesome," Chouji plopped down on the floor next to the box and grabbed both pieces, taking a large bite from one while holding the other in reserve. "What are we watching?"

"Eh," Temari, whose eyes had drifted closed as she leaned against Kiba's shoulder, glanced at the television before shrugging and pulling her feet up on the couch to get more comfortable.

"It's weird that Hinata's gone." Chouji commented. "It's really like this is all ending, you know?"

"What do you mean?" Ino asked. "All the drama?"

"No, you still live here, so that's not going anywhere." Kiba teased her, sticking his tongue out and knowing that she wouldn't hit him, for fear of hitting Temari.

"No, I mean because it's our last year, so now it's like…soon we'll all be leaving here for good. You know what I mean?" Chouji clarified, licking his fingers as the first slice of pizza disappeared as if by magic.

"I know, it's a bit sad, isn't it?" Sakura sighed heavily. "But she's still nearby…I wish Naruto and Sasuke would have stayed so we could have had a party for her tonight."

"Well, you know how they are." Kiba shrugged his Temari-free shoulder. "I mean…you know how _Sasuke_ is. He's not really big on parties."

"Mostly big on Naruto fucking." Kankurou added.

"You're so crass." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you'd think that after all these years you'd have grown up a little."

"Sakura, he's older than all of us, I don't think it's a question of growing up." Ino told her in a droll tone. "I mean, his best chance at being a classy guy was Suri, and he screwed that up. Big surprise."

"Oh god, don't bring that up again." Kankurou groaned and rolled his eyes, glancing sadly at the empty pizza box as Chouji crammed the last of their dinner in his mouth. "Like I don't hear it all the time from Temari." He pursed his lips and held up his hands, putting on a high voice. "If you would have just appreciated what you had, it wouldn't have come to this! Why do you ruin everything? Why did you crash that car? Why did you cheat on Suri?" he snorted. "So unfair. Gaara cheated on Neji, you didn't see her making a big scene over that."

"Yeah, but Gaara and Neji were separated." Sakura pointed out. "And that was _one time._"

"That's true, and also, kind of different because it's not like Neji's ever been a necessarily _good_ influence on Gaara, not like with Suri and you." Ino pointed out high-handedly. "And after what happened on Valentine's Day last year…I mean, you can't blame her for being annoyed with you."

"Who? Temari might be pissed about him screwing up," Kiba reminded them, "but Suri was the one who had to watch him feel that waitress up."

"Yeah, well, I mean, it wasn't like she was gonna take me back at that point." Kankurou grumbled. "If you're not gonna get action from one girl, another's just as good."

"Seriously though, what is your deal with screwing up that holiday?" Ino asked. "It was bad enough that she found out you were sleeping with like three other girls behind her back, but to do that right in front of her? I mean, if Temari hadn't punched the shit out of you, Suri would have."

"She was unconscious by then, I think." Sakura reminded Ino. "Remember?"

"That's right…never again shall we have Valentine's Day at a bar." Ino shook her head ruefully. "Shots don't ever make it better."

"Especially not the body shots." Sakura pointed out.

"I have been wondering," Sai, who had been quietly listening up until that point, finally spoke up. "How did I get home that evening? All I remember is entering the bar…and then waking up naked."

"Naked, huh?" Ino waggled her eyebrows. "Man, Sakura must have totally taken advantage of you."

"I didn't even take his clothes off!" Sakura flushed scarlet. "Well…I helped, but only because he couldn't work the buttons and I didn't want him to rip anything."

"Okay, but you _did_ have your way with him." Ino nodded sharply. "Understandable. I mean, have you seen his abs? I'd like to have some Sai body shots."

"Jesus, Ino!" Kiba laughed, and Temari blinked, waking up momentarily and then seeming to fall back asleep. "Dude, you're fucking married."

"I know, that's why it's okay for me to say these things." Ino shrugged. "Sakura knows I wouldn't really lick frosting off her fiance's body. Right, Sakura?"

"You know…I've kind of just stopped hearing the things she says." Sakura shrugged, patting Sai's leg as he looked around in alarm, not sure what to do to diffuse the situation.

"So now you know how Shikamaru feels." Kiba quipped, and Ino glared at him. Realizing she couldn't reach him still, she smacked Shikamaru, who blinked blearily and looked around in confusion.

"I can't believe everyone's all on me for saying like one thing," Kankurou grumbled. "And then fucking Ino can say whatever, because she's married."

"I'm a mother, Kankurou," Ino gave him a magnanimous smile. "Everyone knows I'm a committed woman."

"You should _be_ committed." Kankurou muttered, but was summarily ignored.

"Is there still pizza?" Shikamaru glanced around and saw Chouji looking rather pleased with himself. "Eh…can't believe I woke up and there's no food."

"Get in the kitchen and make him something, wifey!" Kankurou hooted, and Ino grabbed the pillow next to her, threw it at his head, and glared at Shikamaru as if he had somehow been in on the whole thing.

"What? Just saying." He looked up at her sullenly. "Not even room on the couch, Temari's taking it all up."

"If you're so tired, you should go to bed." Sai advised him. "It is not good for your back to sleep that way."

"Aw, Sai's looking out for Shikamaru, how sweet!" Kankurou, who was clearly not done being obnoxious just because he'd been pelted with a pillow, crowed at them. "Maybe he'd carry him up to bed and tuck him in, read him a story."

"No one thinks you're funny except for you, Kankurou." Sakura informed him tartly, kissing Sai on the temple.

"We should all do something fun!" Ino exclaimed, clearly not concerned with Kankurou's ongoing commentary.

"It's too late for fun, woman." Shikamaru groaned, trying to see if he could bring the pillow Ino had thrown at Kankurou's head over to him using a foot so that he wouldn't have to get up.

"It's not late, it's only nine. This is like when you go out and start to party." Kankurou explained to them. "We should go to a club or something."

"And watch you scam on drunken skanks? No thanks." Ino snorted. "No, I meant like we should do something _big_. Like we could all go on a trip."

"I don't know," Sai tapped his chin thoughtfully. "I always find Kankurou's interactions with women to be very interesting."

"Oh my god, no," Sakura turned to him, her eyes wide in horror. "No, no you don't. Don't ever say that."

"Oh! Not that I would attempt to emulate his behavior, of course." Sai assured her. "I just mean to say that it is very interesting from an academic perspective. I was speaking with Hinata about it, in fact, and we were discussing the psychological implications. She feels that it is possible—"

"Wow, I so don't care what makes Kankurou such an epic relationship failure." Ino rolled her eyes. "You know what we could do that would be awesome? We could always go stay with Naruto and Sasuke in France."

"Man, yeah, that would be awesome." Kiba nodded at once.

"Truly it would be an exciting trip, but do you not think that perhaps Naruto and Sasuke would prefer their private vacation?" Sai asked, and Sakura nodded thoughtfully.

"Yeah, we can't just gate-crash like that, guys." She told them. "I mean, if we were invited, it would be different—"

"We were!" Ino exclaimed. "They told me before they left that we should come out if we have the chance. And I know how Sasuke is about being away from people, but Naruto hasn't seen any of us for a whole month, so of course he swayed Sasuke. It was kind of last minute, so it wasn't a big announcement, but we are invited."

"We are?" Sakura's eyebrows rose. "Well…okay, but seriously, how would we get there? I don't just have money to fly to France laying around for whenever."

"Um, duh," Kankurou snorted. "Did you really think that freaking Sasuke has a private jet and _we_ don't?"

"That does sound fun, but would they have room for us?" Chouji, seeing Shikamaru's struggle to try to reach the pillow, finally got up and handed it to him.

"Oh yeah, Naruto told me all about it." Ino assured them. "It's gigantic, and there's plenty of room. Also, they have a private staff there, like a chef and a housekeeper and everything so—"

"Live in chef?!" Chouji's eyes bulged with joy.

"Housekeeper!" Kankurou sighed longingly. "Man, I miss someone picking up my shit"

"Hey man, it's your own fault." Kiba sighed. "You were the ones who couldn't keep your hands off the one that Temari let us get last year."

"It's not _my_ fault!" Kankurou grumbled. "Why'd she have to be so hot?"

"You _picked_ her, Kankurou." Sakura reminded him pointedly.

"Well, yeah, but still." He shrugged. "And Temari was the one who flipped out and did that whole settlement thing."

"Okay, I'm pretty sure she had to issue a settlement so that the housekeeper wouldn't sue you for sexual harassment." Kiba recalled.

"Damn, you're always on her side," Kankurou accused him. "Just because you want to get in her pants."

"I think he has been in her pants," Sai pointed out. "Several times, I believe. Sometimes the struggle is quite loud, but he seems to be able to manage it."

"Oh god! That's so fucking gross!" Kankurou scrubbed his hands over his eyes. "Can everyone stop talking about my sister getting down?"

"So should we go back to discussing your moral indiscretions with the housekeeper?" Shikamaru asked, looking much more content now that he was settled with the pillow.

"My personal favorite was when he told her he needed his dick cleaned." Ino reminisced, laughing at the memory. "And that she had the perfect tool for the job."

"Okay! That was _alleged_, but not really proven in a court." Kankurou pointed out.

"Like when you put on her apron and nothing else?" Chouji asked, his face showing interest as though he genuinely wanted to know. "Just allegations, right?"

"Okay…well, you _saw_ that." Kankurou admitted. "But she totally misinterpreted it. I mean, if I had really wanted to get with her, I could have. No lady can turn me down."

"I beg to differ." Sakura snorted. "I would never in a thousand years sleep with you, Kankurou."

"Ditto." Ino held up her hand.

"Well, you two don't count, geez." Kankurou rolled his eyes.

"We aren't ladies?" Ino narrowed her eyes, looking for clarification.

"No, sure you are, but you're freaking married, and you're already practically married, too." He indicated first Ino and then Sakura. "I wouldn't ever try to fuck with that. I have my boundaries."

"I seem to remember you saying 'a ring don't mean a thing' when you were seeing that guidance counselor who's married." Ino pointed out to him.

"Well, that was different, she was unhappy, she needed some of the Kankurou magic in her life." He explained as though this should be obvious. "So, you know, if either of you guys is ever sick of Captain Clueless or the Lazy-boy, come give Papa Kankurou a visit. He'll fix you up."

"Gross." Sakura's face scrunched up in disgust.

"Keep dreaming." Ino rolled her eyes.

"Kankurou, I have asked you repeatedly not to proposition Sakura." Sai pointed out calmly. "If you will not desist, I will be forced to challenge you to a duel of honor."

"Please don't challenge anyone to a duel," Sakura shook her head. "I'd like you to live to see our wedding."

"So are we really going to France?" Kiba asked.

"It would be awesome; France is totally full of slutty chicks who are always wanting to do all kinds of kinky shit." Kankurou nodded slowly. "Like, the last time I was there, I met this fucking _freak_, right, and I get back to her place, and her roommate's there, and they're both like, let's get down, so one of them gets down on all fours so I can get to business, and the other one is behind me, and she wants to—"

"If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times," Shikamaru cut in. "No one wants to hear about your nasty skank-escapades, Kankurou."

"Oh yeah, like Ino's never rimmed you." Kankurou snorted and Kiba made a noise as though he was being strangled. "She's a total freak, everyone knows. I bet she likes to strap on a—"

"Can you shut up!?" Sakura cut in. "No one wants to hear it."

"What is 'rimmed,' Sakura?" Sai asked, blinking innocently.

"Something Prudey McNo-Fun is never going to do to you." Kankurou explained. "See, sometimes—"

"No! I said shut up!" Sakura insisted. "No one cares about what you do in your privacy, and we certainly don't want your input into our actually _successful _relationships, thanks anyway."

"You've really had a girl use a strap-on?" Ino asked, interested despite what Sakura had said. "So…I mean, have you ever done it with another guy?"

"Dammit, I'm not fucking gay!" Kankurou insisted. "Just because my brother is King of the Cock-Love doesn't mean I want some other guy to do me. You guys never think Temari's gay."

"Well, Temari's capable of an actual relationship." Kiba pointed out. "Plus, like, you could be bi."

"Yeah, everyone can see you aren't gay." Ino agreed. "I mean, look at your hair. And how you dress…definitely not gay."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kankurou scowled. "And I'd like to say that you have all seen me in a serious relationship. Just cause we broke up doesn't make me fucking into guys. I mean, it's not like Hinata and Kiba broke up because she was into ladies. Although…that would be hot. Like her and Ino…and then I could be in the middle…"

"The only way you'll ever be between Hinata and me is if the three of us are making dinner with _all_ our clothes on." Ino told him sharply. "And you can peel potatoes, because I've eaten your cooking, and I'd like to live to graduation, thanks."

"Well I'm fucking _sorry_, Julia Child, but I thought the tuna surprise was great," Kankurou told her. "Not all of us were put through fucking culinary training."

"Was there actually tuna in that?" Sai asked, interested. "I have speculated that is the surprise, because I was not sure I could taste any, although that might have been all the cinnamon."

"You guys are fucking hilarious." Kankurou threw up his hands and left the room, annoyed. No one seemed overly concerned by this.

"So when Temari wakes up, you should ask if we can use the jet to go see Sasuke and Naruto at his place in France." Ino went back to the previous topic of conversation. "I can call Hinata and see if she wants to come."

"Yeah, and you know Gaara and Neji will go." Sakura giggled. "So she'll have to agree. She'd do practically anything to get those two out of their room."

"Except lift the ban on common-area sex." Ino sighed longingly. "Not that that stops them."

"Not that it's stopped _anyone_." Sakura amended.

"Sakura and I have had sex in the—"

"No!" Sakura clapped a hand over Sai's mouth before he could finish his sentence. "No, remember? We don't discuss that in mixed company."

"Man, you never let me hear about kinky Sai-sex." Ino groaned and Shikamaru heaved a long-suffering sigh.

"You were the one telling Kankurou to shut up about his escapades." Sakura pointed out.

"Well, obviously, that's different." Ino explained. "You'd have to be pretty hard up to want to even think about sleeping with him." She turned to Kiba. "Honestly, though, are you going to sit there with a straight face and tell me Queenie and you haven't bent the rules even _once_?"

"Rules are rules." Kiba told her evasively.

"Oh, come on." Ino pouted. "If you tell me, I'll make breakfast for you naked."

"No." Shikamaru negated her offer at once.

"Fine, fine," Ino rolled her eyes. "I'll wear an apron."

"Shikamaru, sometimes I wonder if you really have that much faith," Sakura speculated. "Or if you're just too lazy to worry."

"Oh please," Ino rolled her eyes. "It's not like I said I'd sleep with him. It's perfectly innocent. I'm a _mother_, you know."

"Sometimes I think you forget."

----------

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3

If I Fall

Chapter 3

----------

"If you fall asleep out here, you'll get sunburned." Sasuke blinked and looked up at the source of the voice, smiling contentedly. He had always loved this house, because it reminded him of his mother, but with Naruto here, it was much better for many reasons, most of which he would never have probably felt comfortable explaining to her. Generally, he didn't like sopping wet things, but when the object in question was his lover's toned and sun-kissed body, he was willing to make exceptions.

"Been swimming?" he asked, as if it was really a question, easing himself up in the chair.

"Come in the pool with me, you've got to be baking out in this sun." Naruto's brows arched upward hopefully, and he reached over, water dripping out of his hair and down his bare chest, disappearing at the waistline of his shorts. Sasuke took the hand, unable to resist the plaintive look or the appearance of the man before him, much less both in conjunction. "You put some sunscreen on, right?"

"I don't need any, that's what the umbrella is for, idiot." He smirked and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Well then, smarty," he suddenly jerked Sasuke forward, lunged down, and in a sudden movement, had the pale man draped over his shoulder, "what's your answer to this?"

"Hey—hey, put me down! These aren't for swimming in!" he kicked his khaki-clad legs, the sandals flying off as his struggles continued uselessly, his shirt already getting wet from the contact with Naruto as he was carried to the edge of the pool. "I need to change first!"

"Oh, I think they're perfect for swimming." Naruto was laughing, and Sasuke realized that he was actually going to be thrown in, whether he liked it or not, so at the last moment he hooked an elbow around Naruto's waist and clasped his hands together, biting into his shoulder in a panicked need to pull Naruto down with him. Moments later, in a tangle of limbs, they both toppled into the cold water, and Sasuke came up sputtering and indignant, his freshly pressed clothes now completely soaking wet. This was not one of the things that he liked.

"Dammit, Naruto!" he waded to the edge of the pool and pulled himself up, noticing something odd as he turned around.

He couldn't hear any laughter.

Naruto suddenly bobbed to the surface, face down and limp, and Sasuke's eyes went wide in alarm before he pushed himself back into the pool, not bothering with divesting himself of the soggy clothes weighing him down. There wasn't time for that. He soon reached Naruto and flipped him over at once, slapping his pale face lightly to check for a reaction, anything.

He was still, his body unnaturally cool, his skin damp and clammy.

"Fuck, Naruto!" Sasuke swam back to the edge of the pool, pulling him up over the edge of the pool and laying him flat on his back, lowering his face to check for breathing, looking at the motionless chest, holding back a panicked sob as he felt no air against the side of his face, no breath coming out of him. "Breathe!" He sat up, tears stinging his eyes, his heart pounding a million miles an hour as he bent over him, tilting his head back and pressing his mouth to Naruto's motionless lips, heaving a breath in, and freezing as he felt hands suddenly clutching at him. "You!" he pulled back, and Naruto burst into a fit of laughter.

"Damn, you fall for that every time." He continued laughing, his eyes sparkling as Sasuke scowled at him, hiding his relief behind severe aggravation. "Seriously, it's not like I could have died in like a minute. What kind of wuss do you think I am?"

"You…you!" Sasuke stood up, his anger feeding his strength as he hefted Naruto in his arms and tossed the other man in the pool before storming back inside, still soaking wet and considerably less pleased than he had been a few minutes ago.

"Hey! Don't get so worked up!" Naruto called after him, and there were splashing noises as he climbed out of the pool. Sasuke huffed past the housekeeper, not feeling guilty about the mess he was making. "Sasuke! Come on, you _bit_ me!" He slammed the door as he heard the noise of Naruto running into the house, clearly also wet since he wouldn't have had time to dry off. "Saaaaaasuke," there was a gentle knocking on the door. "Come on, don't be such a grump."

"Go away." He grumbled. "That wasn't funny."

"Not to _you_, maybe." Naruto chuckled momentarily and then coughed. "Sasuke, you made all these puddles on the floor. Midori's going to have to clean it all up, just because you had a hissy fit."

"I wouldn't have been wet if you hadn't _thrown_ me in the pool." Sasuke responded in a surly tone.

"Fine, then I'll clean it up if you're not going to. Poor Midori didn't have anything to do with it." Naruto went away, and Sasuke blinked in surprise. He hadn't locked the door, Naruto could have come in. Why didn't he just come in and apologize? Did it really bother him that much that the housekeeper cleaned up after them? At this point, wasn't he used to this?

He took off his wet clothes and tossed them in the bathtub so they wouldn't mess up the floor, annoyed that they were wet and messy now. _If it bothers Naruto to see her work so hard, he wouldn't ruin her ironing._ At least, he was pretty sure that Midori did that…maybe Hayate did that…he wasn't really sure. But in any case, Sasuke _paid_ them to clean up, even if he stormed through the house making puddles, even if he ran through the house throwing things on the ground. And _he_ cared about cleaning more than Naruto did, why was he being like this?

_Unless the cleaning isn't really the problem…maybe he doesn't know what to say, and he's just trying to apologize in his own way._

Sasuke toweled off and went back into his wardrobe, pulling out some more clothes and dressing slowly, realizing that he wasn't angry, that he had been afraid, and that he had been surprised, and he had been embarrassed about it. More than anything, he was glad that nothing was really wrong. _So there's no point in _making_ something wrong by being a dick about it._

Swallowing his pride, he came out of the room and saw Naruto on the ground a few yards away, mopping up the floor with a towel. "Hey."

"Hey," Naruto smiled at him cautiously, and Sasuke returned it. "That got a little crazy. Sorry."

"It's okay, I shouldn't have overreacted." Sasuke shrugged. "Here, I can help with that." He moved to help and Naruto waved him away.

"No, there's not much left, and I don't want you to get all messy again, I know it pisses you off." Naruto told him.

"Well…I can change into my trunks." Sasuke offered. "Then when it's clean we can go swimming like you wanted."

"Hey Sasuke," Naruto smiled up at him as Sasuke moved towards his door again. "I love you."

"Love you, too." Sasuke smiled softly and stepped back into the room, changing swiftly and coming back out into the slightly damp hall. "You know, if you keep using that joke, one of these times you're going to actually be hurt and I won't do anything to help you because I'll figure you're faking."

"Yeah right." Naruto walked past him to put the towel down the laundry chute. "You can't resist me."

"Ass." Sasuke rolled his eyes just as Naruto grabbed him from behind, pressing a kiss to his bare shoulder.

"But you know," Naruto breathed, his hair tickling the back of Sasuke's neck, "I'd fall for it every time, too. I couldn't risk it, you know?"

"Naruto," Sasuke turned, letting Naruto push him against the wall, kissing him deeply and reassuring him at the same time by pressing their bodies together. "Did you still want to go swimming?"

"I just like when you run around in those shorts." Naruto ran his fingers up Sasuke's sides, licking the side of his neck. "It was all a trick."

"Should've known," Sasuke's eyes closed as Naruto's fingers snuck into his shorts. "Now what?"

"Now I'm going to try to get you to the bedroom," Naruto ground against him, and they both gasped before sharing a series of heated kisses. "Or I might fuck you here in the hall."

"Bastard…so evil." Sasuke trembled as Naruto's hand worked over his shaft slowly, insistently. "Anything…but that."

"Then what if I…" Naruto dropped down, pulling the shorts down with him, and Sasuke gasped as he felt the hot mouth take him in.

"Fuck…please…" Sasuke's knees shook as Naruto held his hips firmly and took him in as deeply as he could, holding it in and sucking deeply, humming at the same time and making Sasuke start to lose his grip on reality as it went on. "P…please…" He didn't know what he was asking for, or really what he was saying at all, and his fingers moved spasmodically, one hand clutching at the wall, in a desperate effort to remain upright, the other deep in Naruto's damp blonde hair.

For a moment, time stood still, and then, just when he knew he was on the edge, Naruto pulled back, released him, and stood up, his swollen lips pressing against Sasuke's in a searing kiss, and his own shorts suddenly dropping to the ground. Sasuke whimpered and pressed against him, his erection hot and aching.

"Excuse me, sir."

Hayate, the family servant that Sasuke had brought with them for the purpose of the trip, was standing at the end of the hall, managing to look in their direction without appearing to see them. "So sorry to interrupt, sir. There are a number of guests here for you. They insist that they are expected and I wanted to know if you would like me to let them in or refuse entry."

"Um." Naruto's face was flaming red, and he buried it against Sasuke's shoulder, clutching at him tightly enough that while Sasuke was sure that Hayate could see a lot of skin, he seriously doubted that possibly the most embarrassing thing was visible, since it felt like it was trapped very firmly against his stomach. "Um."

"Th…thanks for letting me know, Hayate." Sasuke was doing his best not to be embarrassed. He had known this man for years, since he was hired during Sasuke's childhood. It was very likely he had seen Sasuke naked before. It was also very likely that he was more than aware of what Naruto and him did in private. It didn't change the fact that he had just been caught fooling around with his boyfriend in the hall.

_Well…he could have come when we were actually having sex. Or when he was going down on me. _Sasuke blinked as something occurred to him. It was very possible that Hayate had waited to speak until that moment, but that he had seen more. He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm, trying not to let his face suddenly turn as red as Naruto's.

"Should I show them in, sir?" Hayate repeated the question.

"Oh…well…I'm not expecting anyone…" Sasuke tried desperately to remember if he should be having visitors, which was very difficult to do while he was pressed up against Naruto's naked body. "I don't know for sure…did you get their names?"

"Sasuke!" Naruto hissed. "Just…just…"

"Um…please show them to the sitting room, I'll be down in a bit." Sasuke nodded shakily, and Hayate left.

"That was so embarrassing." Naruto finally looked up, his face still bright red.

"You're the one who started it out in the hall." Sasuke pointed out, unable to stop the smile forming on his lips.

"I know."

"And you're still—"

"I _know_." Naruto flushed even deeper.

"Well," Sasuke pulled him toward the bedroom. "We can let whoever's downstairs wait a bit…you know…maybe you can help me dress." Naruto laughed, but when they reached the room, he was the one who pushed Sasuke down onto the bed.

----------

"So," Temari blinked at Ino expectantly as they sat waiting for Sasuke to see them. "You _did_ say they invited us, didn't you?"

"Of course!" Ino nodded sharply. Temari stared at her, unblinking. "Okay…well, technically Naruto invited us, but I'm sure that Sasuke will be happy to have us."

"Wait, Sasuke doesn't know we're coming?" Shikamaru, who was in a heat-induced malaise causing him to move much slower than usual, physically as well as conversationally. "We…we should leave."

"He knows!" Ino insisted, and this time Shikamaru was the one to give her a look of disbelief. "Okay, well, he may not _exactly_ know, but think of what a good surprise this is! And Naruto did say that it would be really great if we all came out some time. So you know he'll be happy, and whenever he's happy, Sasuke's happy."

"Wait, that's what he said?" Temari's eyes goggled. "He just said 'maybe some time you should come by?' And you took that as a _real_ invitation?"

"What?" Ino blinked at her, looking amazingly innocent.

"Sometimes I wonder if you are Kankurou's _actual_ sister." She finally stated.

"Hey! I'm not adopted!" Kankurou snapped at her.

"If we aren't invited, we should leave." Neji spoke up. "I wouldn't want to intrude."

"I want to see Naruto." Gaara insisted, and he sighed.

"I don't see what the big deal is! We're friends who live together, it's not going to be a huge shock or anything." Ino explained, as though this should be obvious.

"Ino, what if you were on your honeymoon with Shikamaru and we all just showed up out of nowhere and stayed in your hotel with you?" Sakura asked, trying to make her friend understand the situation.

"Um, I wouldn't care, hotels are places anyone with money can stay in. I'd rather have my friends than a bunch of weirdoes." Ino snorted. "Anyway, I wouldn't know _what_ it's like to have a honeymoon. I wouldn't even know what it's like to have a wedding." She made a very pronounced sniffling noise that Sakura was reasonably sure was fake.

"Oh, please, you're lucky anyone would agree to marry you." Temari threw up a hand in exasperation. "Shikamaru should be given sainthood."

"Just because you want to get in his pants." Ino stuck out her tongue.

"Um, my pants are _much_ better." Kiba glared at Shikamaru, as though being personally challenged by the other man, who was still behind most of what was going on. "Total upgrade."

"Do you think that butler guy is gonna bring us food?" Chouji asked. "I'm so hungry."

"You ate on the plane!" Temari squawked at him in disbelief.

"Yeah, but it was a long flight." Chouji grumbled. Shikamaru nodded slowly at him.

"I'm tired." He spoke once more, and Ino rolled her eyes.

"You're _always_ tired, no one cares." She examined her nails.

"Is Sasuke going to call the police and have us thrown in prison?" Sai asked, clearly very interested in what was going on.

"I doubt that." Sakura told him, but she glanced down, glad she'd worn sneakers in case she needed to run.

"If he does call the authorities, I can help explain the situation to them." Sai told her helpfully. "I speak French."

"Temari speaks it better." Kankurou told him assuredly. "If the cops show up, leave it to her."

"How do you know that? You've never even heard Sai speak it." Sakura defended the man beside her.

"Because, to do it right you gotta be like, really bitchy, and I know already that Temari is way better at speaking Bitch than Sai. It's like her mother tongue." Kankurou paused. "Kinda literally, cause our mom's a giant bitch. Like not physically, Temari's taller than her, but—"

"Kankurou, you're leaking stupid again, and it's not helping anything." Temari snapped at him. "This is ridiculous. We've been waiting down here forty minutes, he obviously isn't coming down, so we should just leave."

"Leave _France_?" Ino's eyes went wide. "But I just got here! I wanted to go shopping and see the beach, and go to museums and things. Not all of us can just go to France any weekend they want."

"No, leave his house, idiot." Temari told her. "And I'll probably have to leave Nice, as well, I don't think I want him to be within sniping distance for a while. But I'm not flying all the way back now that you got me out here. I'll probably go stay at a chateau for a week or so."

"Oooh, a chateau!" Ino clapped her hands.

"_I_ will do that, with my money." Temari glanced around. "Obviously I'll take Kiba, if he'd like to come. And since it's ours, Gaara and Kankurou can come. And Neji."

"What…what should we do?" Sakura's tone was suddenly shaky and scared.

"Well…you can come as well. In fact, everyone in this room can come. Except Ino, who caused this." Temari gave her a brittle smile. "Ino, you can stay here and put yourself at Sasuke's mercy."

"Ha! I can just sneak in with Shikamaru." Ino stuck out her tongue.

"Well then," Temari gave Shikamaru an apologetic shrug. "Sorry, Shikamaru, I'll have to leave you behind, as well."

"Eh," Shikamaru shrugged. "I knew what I was getting into."

"What I don't understand," Tenten, sitting with Shino in alarmed silence, spoke up for the first time, "is how you got the address for this place if they didn't really invite us."

"Sasuke gave it to me." Ino told her. She was the recipient of a third disbelieving look. "Well…he gave it to me in that he left his safe with important documents unlocked and his bedroom door unlocked, which is as good as mailing it to me."

"Yeah, why am I not surprised?" Temari heaved a sigh. "Ridiculous. Okay, everyone who wants to come with me and avoid decapitation by Sasuke's eye lasers—"

"What the hell!?" Sasuke's sharp tone cut her off, and they all looked to the entry of the room, where Sasuke stood looking completely bewildered. Behind him, Naruto's eyes were wide, and he moved past his lover to run into the room.

"Oh my god, you guys!" he ran over and hugged Sakura, who was a bit surprised by his enthusiasm. "This is so great!"

"Are you okay? He's making sure you get enough liquids, right? It is very hot out." Gaara glared at Sasuke while asking Naruto this question.

"Oh, I'm sure Sasuke's giving him _plenty_ of liquids." Kankurou grinned lasciviously.

"What the _hell_?" Sasuke repeated. "Did I walk through a portal to Japan?"

"It's a surprise!" Ino beamed, seeing at once how to work the situation to her advantage. "_Right_, Sasuke?"

"Sasuke! You planned this for _me_?" Naruto turned to Sasuke as he stood clutching Gaara's hands to let him know he was all right. "Really?"

"You…you…" Sasuke's eye twitched, his fists clenched in irritation, and he briefly wondered if Shikamaru would care if he punched Ino. Whatever, he could probably take out Shikamaru too, if it came to that.

"This is the nicest thing! You knew how sad I was that I couldn't see them!" Naruto turned back to Sasuke, his expression ecstatic.

It was in that moment that Sasuke could see his failure before him, unfolding very clearly. He could say no. He could tell them all to get the hell out of his house and leave him alone. He could call the police, if they wouldn't leave. He could do all these things, and he would then have Naruto crying and miserable for the rest of the trip. Maybe by the end of their vacation, he would figure out some way to make it up to him, but it would probably involve him bringing all of their friends back. Sasuke realized that Ino saw the situation for what it was, and she was putting him in a position where he had no choice but to let them stay. So he made his decision.

"I didn't actually plan this," he admitted, knowing that if he lied, Naruto would find out at some point anyway. "But…this is fine. There's plenty of space."

There. He wasn't going to dance and fake enthusiasm, but for the look on Naruto's face, he might as well have thrown a parade.

"Really!?" Naruto leapt at him, eyes wide and hopeful. "They can really stay here?"

"Yes, but if they break anything, they have to pay for it." Sasuke grumbled and Naruto hugged him in excitement.

"You're the best! I love you!" he told him excitedly. "You won't be sorry! It'll be so much fun!"

"See, Naruto doesn't have to pay for things he breaks," Kankurou explained to Sai in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. "Because he pays _sexually_."

"I see." Sai nodded, and Sakura gave Kankurou a look that could have melted steel.

"Hey, I'd be willing to give Sasuke all the sexual payment he wants." Ino giggled, rather pleased with her success.

"No, dammit." Shikamaru told her in a weary tone, and Temari rolled her eyes.

"Seriously. Sainthood." She told him, and he just nodded slowly.

Sasuke was rather sure he was _already_ sorry.

But then again…Naruto was so happy.

It couldn't be that bad.

----------

To be Continued…


	4. Chapter 4

If I Fall

Chapter 4

----------

"Want me to turn up the air conditioning?" Neji's voice was soft and sleepy, and in answer, Gaara reached over, twining his fingers through still-damp black hair. "You're so hot." Gaara smiled in a nearly lascivious fashion and blinked mint-green eyes at his lover. "I meant you feel hot. Your skin, it's like you have a fever."

"Give me a minute, I'll be fine." He assured Neji. "I just had sex in a Jacuzzi tub, I think it's expected that I might be overheated. You must be, too."

"Do you want some ice cream?" Neji asked, tilting his head so the curtain of freshly washed hair slapped against Gaara's chest, cool and refreshing. "I bet they have forty flavors. You know what a bitch Sasuke can be about his ice cream."

"If he catches you poaching his ice cream, he'll probably try to kill you." Gaara assured him calmly. "Chocolate would be nice."

"Anything else?" Neji asked, kissing the hollow of Gaara's throat where sweat had pooled. "We could go for a swim; that might cool you down."

"Not if Temari and Kiba are in the pool." Gaara responded, light glinting suddenly in his previously calm eyes. "It's one thing to allow a man to date your sister; it is another to watch them climb all over each other wet and half-naked."

"Yeah, how do you think she feels about us?" Neji smirked, and Gaara blinked, startled as though he had never even thought of that before.

"But you are about one hundred times more attractive than Kiba." He finally replied. "If I must watch a half-naked man on her, it should at least be entertaining for me as well."

"Only one hundred?" Neji affected a pout before sliding off the bed and pulling on a pair of shorts, not bothering with a robe. "Just for that, no chocolate." And with that, he left the room. Gaara snickered and closed his eyes, relaxing a moment before deciding that it really was too hot, after all and getting up to find something he could pull on for a brief trip to the thermostat.

He settled for the first thing he found, a discarded pair of lounge pants that actually belonged to Neji, so that they were slightly too long in the leg but perfectly serviceable for the purpose of concealing himself to leave the room. He grabbed a towel and frowned, wiping down his face and chest, feeling momentarily cooler as he sloughed off the sweat that had beaded up there, but knowing it would come back in moments. It was very pretty here, but it could also be very hot. Possibly it would be less hot if he would not keep having sex with Neji, but that was not really something he was going to sacrifice.

"Hey, relax, I got chocolate." Neji intercepted him in the hall, and Gaara smiled, going on tiptoe to kiss his cheek before grabbing the ice cream and continuing onward.

"I know, I was going to turn up the AC." He explained, and Neji walked along, holding two spoons and watching hungrily as Gaara pressed the frozen carton to his forehead and sighed happily as water and sweat mingled on his brow.

"Feel good?" he asked, his tone huskier than it had been a moment earlier. Gaara blinked and then smiled slightly. Sometimes it was hard for him to interpret what he did or said that would turn Neji on, and to avoid confusion, he normally would be rather straightforward. Rather than playing the kind of games Neji was rather good at, he would normally pin the other man against a wall, or simply request sex. That seemed to work well. He wasn't sure what exactly could attract someone as beautiful as Neji to someone like him. Gaara had always thought he was more odd-looking than anything else, and he had never really put thought into attracting people, since before Neji, he hadn't associated love with sex, and he certainly hadn't associated sex with feeling good. His hair was too bright, his eyes too pale, the bruising around them made him look ill or strung-out, especially against his pale skin. Neji was pale as well, but he made it look…much better. And their skin wasn't the same shade, anyway, so that probably had something to do with it. Also, while he was in shape, his body seemed to him more functional than attractive. It was able to kick the crap out of people that pissed him off or threatened anything he cared about, and he kept it for just such a purpose. Neji's was leaner and more…somehow just more.

So whenever Neji would react in these ways, showing that he found Gaara to be attractive, he was always slightly confused, but would pause and file the moment away. He might not be good at those flirtation games, but if he studied Neji's reactions to him long enough, he felt sure he could be.

_Is it because of the noise I made…or because I'm sweaty? Perhaps because I'm wearing his pants. Maybe he is just very hungry for ice cream._

Gaara pushed it aside to analyze later and strode over to the thermostat with Neji right behind him.

"If Sasuke sees you messing with his precious thermostat, he'll try to kill you." Neji warned, humor in his tone as he reached chilly fingers around to brush over Gaara's stomach, resting the tips just above the waistband of the too-long pants.

"And I'm holding his ice cream." Gaara pointed out, adjusting the knob slightly. "If I kill him in self-defense, can we keep Naruto?"

"He's not a puppy, you know." Neji chuckled, kissing the back of Gaara's neck, just below his ear. "You just want a spare dick. Aren't I enough for you anymore?"

"More than I deserve," Gaara rested there, his right hand still on the thermostat, his left hand clutching the pint of ice cream, his body leaning back against Neji's form despite the heat, despite the fact that he knew it would just raise the temperature more when he was already too hot. "I could—"

He cut himself off at the nearby sound of something that sounded very expensive breaking with a great thud and a spectacular shattering noise. They both went suddenly stiff, and at the sound of a familiar voice cursing, Gaara let out a soft laugh. "Looks like Kankurou will be his first target, after all."

"We should go before—"

"What was that! Dammit, Kankurou, if you've broken something else, I swear to god I'll have you pay for it in _blood_, and I don't care what fucking Temari has to say about—" Sasuke froze as he rounded the corner coming from the opposite direction and spotted Neji and Gaara. "No sex in the halls! I fucking said!"

"What, worried Naruto will see what he's missing?" Neji asked in an arch tone. "I hear _you_ get to engage wherever you like, so it hardly seems fair."

"It's my house! I'll have sex on the damn dining room table while you assholes wait for supper if I want. I made the rules for you, not for me." He snarled.

"On the table?" Gaara sounded vaguely interested, and Neji had to stifle a laugh. "That would be entertaining, I think."

"And I already said to _never_ touch the freaking thermostat!" Sasuke went on, clearly not perturbed by their clear lack of fear of him. Neji smiled wickedly and slipped the hand that had been resting low on Gaara's stomach down and into his pants.

"It's really adorable when you say 'freaking' like that." Neji told him, undaunted by the heat of the glare Sasuke was shooting at them.

"And stay out of the ice cream!" he growled, making a wild grab for it as he moved past on his way to yell at Kankurou, but receiving nothing for his trouble except for a sharp smack to the wrist by the pair of spoons Neji held in the hand that wasn't partway down Gaara's pants. Cursing violently, Sasuke rushed onward, possibly because the sound of Kankurou running away from the scene of his latest crime had struck him as more immediately deserving of reprisal.

"Your brother saved the day on that one," Neji whispered, moving his hand down further to discover that Gaara was half-hard. "Does pissing off Sasuke always turn you on like this? No wonder you're always cozying up to Naruto."

"No…I think it was either when you hit him to defend the ice cream, or possibly the thing about the dining room table." Gaara made no move to pull away or do anything that might break the contact between them, but dropped his hand from the thermostat and reached back, running his fingers over Neji's flank as he let his eyes close slightly, his breath coming out in a slow, shuddering sigh.

"So we can either go and smack him some more," Neji breathed in his ear, his hand moving to grip Gaara more firmly, working the shaft patiently. "Or we can visit the dining room."

"Well…I think there _was_ a rule about not eating in our bedroom." Gaara answered after a long pause.

"Wouldn't want to break the rules," Neji chuckled. "More than we already have." Gaara turned then, pulling Neji toward the stairs.

----------

"I'm so exhausted," Sakura giggled happily as Sai ushered her toward their bedroom. Ino had wanted to spend the day sightseeing with a reluctant Shikamaru, and Sakura and Sai had gone along with them, which had been a good thing for everyone, since Sai had stopped them from becoming hopelessly lost more than once, and when it was becoming clear that Shikamaru was staging a full-scale revolt (which likely would have just consisted of him doing his famous narcolepsy impression), Sakura had convinced Ino to go back home. "How are you doing?"

"I would like to lie down with you," he said, his hand warm and insistent on the small of her back, and she flushed deeply as she stepped into the room they were sharing. "I am tired, but I do not need sleep at the moment, I think."

"That would be nice," she couldn't stop herself from feeling foolish, feeling clumsy and unsure when everything Sai said was so direct and guileless. It warmed her, and it was a great way for him to make sure that she never misunderstood his feelings or desires, but at the same time, it could catch her off guard at times and make her doubt her own confidence.

Her doubts fell away as they lay together, clothing being gradually discarded as they touched and kissed and moved against each other. Just like everything else he did, Sai made love to her carefully and attentively, his focus entirely on her, on the taste and feel of her. When it ended, she felt surrounded and protected by him, like she was in a warm cocoon, and she just wanted to fall asleep and let all of her worries and all of her concerns fade away under the soft kisses he was pressing to her throat.

"I love you," she sighed happily, her fingers lazily moving over the line of his spine. "Today was great, wasn't it?"

"It was," he smiled at her, warm and sincere and honest as always. "It is fun to spend time alone, but also with friends we are able to have great times."

"It was almost like they were our kids there at the end." Sakura giggled. "I was about to offer them juice boxes so they would be good and stop bickering."

"I think that you managed it all very well." Sai assured her. "They often have much larger and more dramatic fights, and since Shikamaru was in a very poor mood, I thought it was something of a foregone conclusion that the day would end on a sour note."

"You did a great job, too." She told him. "When we got lost in that weird neighborhood…and you asked for directions, and then later when we couldn't find the café Ino wanted. Although, since I don't know French, I obviously had to trust that was what you were doing, instead of offering to sell us into slavery."

"I attempted that first, but unfortunately no one wanted Ino or Shikamaru," Sai assured her, his face perfectly serious as she broke into further giggles. "And they simply were not willing to pay what I deemed a fair price for you."

"Such a romancer." She rolled her eyes. "At least after that, I feel like we would be able to handle kids, no matter how difficult they were." Sakura and Sai had already brought up the idea of children, and they both agreed they would like one or two kids, but since they weren't actually married yet, it hadn't seemed like they needed to speak about it more specifically than that.

"Yes, I am very much looking forward to that," Sai told her warmly. "And now that we have so much experience with Aki, I feel more than ever prepared to start a family with you as soon as the college has ended."

"Well…I mean, we'd wait until after I finish medical school," Ino pointed out, reaching up to brush Sai's hair back from his face. "And I'd probably need to get established first and everything."

"That is many years away," Sai let out a soft breath. "I was hoping perhaps we could have at least one child soon, and then after we both had more time and money, we could work on another one or two."

"Oh…" Sakura paused, thinking about this, her stomach twisting in sudden fear. Sai was very thoughtful, and they very rarely fought about anything, and the thought of fighting with him always made her stomach tie up in knots. "Well…I mean, if we had a kid while I was in medical school, how would we have time to take care of it? I thought you were planning on getting a job, and then I'd be in school, so it would be really difficult."

"I thought that, initially, but I have seen with Shikamaru and Ino that just because there are difficulties, it does not make the situation impossible or without reward." Sai told her thoughtfully. "My concern is that if we were to wait too long, there could be difficulties with your health, and with the health of the child." Sai told her. "And then again, we have to consider that any child we have would live with us for probably eighteen years, and may need our help for longer than that, and if we are too old, we may not be able to live up to that, or even live to that age."

"I guess…I didn't really think about it from that perspective." Sakura pursed her lips thoughtfully. "It would…I mean, do you think we could?"

"Certainly! We are very good at the children, so I think that we would have even less trouble than Shikamaru and Ino." He pointed out.

"So…should we start trying as soon as we get married?" she asked.

"Why wait? We could attempt now, because I know that it can take time. Besides, since we are already engaged, any child we conceived would not actually be a bastard, I believe." Sai explained to her. "We are to be married in May, and even if we were to succeed right away, the child would likely be born around the same time. Besides that, I believe that medical school will be more stressful than our undergraduate studies, so you would have much better chance of having a pregnancy with minimal complications."

"That sounds…" Sakura trailed off, looking carefully at Sai, who was watching her so closely. He very rarely asked her for anything, and everything she wanted he did to the best of his ability. He had never given her a reason to be unhappy, and always tried his best to be everything she could ever need. The fact that he was asking her this, with his eyes so full of hope, his face so adorably intent, meant that it was something he wanted a great deal. Sai had been adopted, and in fact did not even remember his own parents, something which he had obviously come to terms with, but which Sakura knew did cause him pain. She liked the idea of having children with him, certainly, and she didn't think that he was only saying these things for the sake of saying them. He really did want to start a family with her as soon as possible. On the other hand…this was her body, she would be the one carrying any children, and she would be the one who would suffer most if he turned his back on her. But this was Sai. "That sounds nice." She finally answered, smiling softly.

"Really?" he asked, blinking rapidly as he tried to hide his exultation. "You really want to?"

"Really," she looked up at his smiling face, so dear to her, and she knew that she had made the right decision. "I'll stop taking the pill today."

"Thank you…thank you so much," Sai kissed her face then, frantically and with giddy abandon. "I love you." His lips moved quickly over her throat, warm but slightly ticklish in their quick movements. She giggled and squeezed him, suddenly wanting the reassurance of his body pressed hard against hers. "You and I will have a family." His voice shook, so she thought he might actually start crying, and she was overwhelmed by his own desire for this, feeling tears prick her own eyes.

Yes…she could not regret her decision.

----------

"It's too bad Hinata decided not to come with you guys." Naruto waded in the pool, waiting for Kiba to retrieve the ball they'd been trying to play water volleyball with. Kankurou had discovered the net back in the pool house, where he had been made to move after breaking an extremely expensive vase as well as several other things. Despite his ire with the eldest Sabaku, even Sasuke had agreed to play, although he might just be trying to see if he could spike the ball in Kankurou's face, because so far most of his volleys had been extremely forceful, and a panicked block of the last one had sent the ball flying out of the pool and down the path that led eventually to the beach.

Oh well, at least he seemed to be having fun.

"Yeah, but you can understand her reasoning." Sakura shrugged from the other side of the pool. "She just moved in with Suteru. What would it say to him if she was like, 'oh, this is great; I'll just go to France with all my friends now that I've been here five minutes?' I'm sure she wanted to come see you both, but it was just one of those decisions, right?"

"She could have brought Suteru along, it wouldn't have bothered me." Temari declared in her most diplomatic voice. It was very likely that she did miss Hinata, but was also enjoying having Kiba to herself away from her.

"Yes, and let's not bother with what Sasuke would think," Sasuke grumbled. He was annoyed that for the course of the game the couples had been split into opposite teams, and even more annoyed that Gaara and Naruto were on the same team. Gaara was the one who couldn't keep his hands off Neji without a net separating them. Why should he be rewarded by getting to be over near Naruto? "It's only his house, after all."

"If it had been up to you, none of us would be here." Ino stuck her tongue out. Shikamaru was inside taking a nap, but she had joined the game nonetheless. "Clearly these decisions aren't to be left in your hands."

"Instead we should leave them up to Mrs. Decepticon." Kankurou chuckled at his own joke as Kiba returned and tossed the ball to Sasuke's side, since Naruto's side had fouled it.

"Oh, shut up, or I'll tell Sasuke about that skank you brought to the pool house last night." Ino rolled her eyes at him, and Sasuke turned a sharp glare on the suddenly terrified man.

"You…did _what_?!" Sasuke darted toward Kankurou, dodging under the net as his target yelped and made a break for it.

"You know, I was having fun," Temari sighed. "Why do our games always end in attempted manslaughter?"

"Remember the last time we had a Smash Brothers tournament?" Kiba dodged clear as Kankurou scrambled out of the pool, running into the house with Sasuke hot on his heels. "When Sasuke tried to strangle him with that controller?"

"Oh, I thought you were talking about the one where Gaara tackled you and nearly broke the console." Temari laughed, and he flushed slightly.

"He should not have put his hand down your shirt." Gaara maintained in a rather stoic tone. He could see the game was devolving into an attempt on his brother's life, so he lifted the net and waded under it to be reunited with Neji.

"That was an _accident_." Kiba maintained, then hopped into the pool as Kankurou came back out of the house again, nearly slipping in the puddles he had caused with his initial escape, and skirted the pool, running toward the path that would let him escape to the large beach beyond.

"Get back here you rule-breaking—" Sasuke came tearing out of the house, still wet from the pool, and really did slip in the puddles, skidding a moment before his feet flew up and his body slammed down with a thud and a nasty crack.

"Sasuke!" Naruto, who had been mildly amused by this a few moments ago, was now genuinely concerned as he climbed out of the pool and fretted over the slowly shifting form of his lover, who had crumpled to the ground near the edge of the pool in a groaning heap. "Are you okay?"

"Fucking…fucking Kankurou!" Sasuke growled and then winced in pain, clutching his head. "I told him no skanks!"

"I know you did, baby," Naruto was too concerned to do anything but agree, and he pressed his fingers to Sasuke's scalp hesitantly as Sakura clambered out of the pool and came to join them. "Hey, Sakura, can you feel this lump? Do you think he's concussed?"

"If he has a concussion, you shouldn't let him go to sleep." Gaara was at the edge of the pool, watching in interest with Neji at his shoulder. "I know how to do that."

"Is it just me or is Gaara's solution for everything always sex?" Tenten asked, climbing out of the pool to go rejoin Shino inside, since he wasn't able to handle the sun without clothing or a layer of sunscreen so thick he was nearly covered in zinc oxide. Even then, he could only be outside for a few minutes.

"What's wrong with that?" Ino waggled her eyebrows. "Now that's one treatment center I'd like to visit."

"Christ, Ino," Sakura rolled her eyes, looking up from Sasuke, who was blinking in disorientation. "Go see to your _husband_ and stop hitting on the poor gay boys." She turned to the man she had been tending. "Yeah…this might be a concussion, frankly. Sasuke, here, follow this with your eyes." She held up her finger, moving it back and forth.

"Does he need to go to the hospital? Is he going to be okay?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes wide with concern.

"How many fingers?" Sakura asked Sasuke, momentarily not answering Naruto as she continued her tests.

"Th…no, two." He blinked, and she frowned at him, partially satisfied. She peered at his eyes suspiciously.

"Well…he's tracking fine, and his pupils are the same size." She bit her lip. "He's showing signs of confusion, but no serious double vision." She paused. "Hey, Sasuke, what rule did Kankurou break this time?"

"She's testing for short-term amnesia." Ino advised Temari loftily.

"Brought a skank back…told him no." Sasuke grumbled.

"Does your head hurt?" she asked him, and he scowled. "I'll take that as being a 'yes, but I'm not going to admit it,' so that's fine." She turned to Naruto. "Honestly, he might have a mild concussion, but nothing too serious. We should keep an eye on him, and you should let him rest, but he probably shouldn't be allowed to sleep for about twelve hours."

"Yes, time for sexual healing!" Ino giggled.

"I said _rest_, Ino." Sakura rolled her eyes. "I shudder for your future patients."

"Whatever, if Sasuke's on bottom, it's not that much work." Ino shrugged. "Or if Naruto goes down on him, then he just has to sit there."

"Ino, dammit!" Naruto snapped at her, flushing brilliantly. "This is serious! Can't you turn your libido off for ten damn seconds!" Ino, surprised at Naruto's outburst, blinked silently but didn't offer any more helpful suggestions. Gaara climbed out of the pool and moved over to the overwrought blonde, patting his shoulder.

"It's okay, Neji and I will help you watch him." Gaara offered, and Naruto nodded mutely as Sakura surveyed Sasuke's limbs for further injuries. Sai climbed out of the pool and went into the house for some refreshments for everyone, and once Sakura declared herself satisfied, she accepted a glass of lemonade and a kiss from her fiancé.

"You are going to be a very good doctor." He told her, setting the tray down so others could help themselves. Naruto steadied Sasuke, who was a bit dizzy from his fall, and with Neji's help, escorted him back inside, Gaara following them closely. "You are always watching out for everyone, and are able to examine even wet, half-naked men you used to be attracted to with professional bedside manner."

"Man, that's right!" Ino snapped her fingers in dismay, grabbing her own glass of lemonade and clearly over the shock of being called to task by Naruto. "I should have offered to examine him. Wet, mostly naked Sasuke…that's a chance that only comes around once in a lifetime."

"You are such a lech." Kiba informed her, snickering slightly.

"I'm _married_." She pointed out, as if this proved something or gave her special permissions. "I hope Naruto forgets to close the door. I want to see if I can check out the orgy."

"They aren't having an _orgy_." Temari snapped at her irritably. "They're just taking Sasuke to rest."

"Whatever, it's only a matter of time. Neji and Sasuke have already done it, and so have Gaara and Naruto. You know they're just testing the waters now, seeing if the others are all okay with it, but soon…soon." Ino advised them, sipping her lemonade and nodding with great satisfaction.

"You know, some people can be around other people they care about without engaging in group sex," Sakura advised her tartly.

"That is true, Sakura has never engaged in group sex, that I know of." Sai nodded sagely. "How much of the group sex have you had, Ino? What is the largest group you have been in?"

"You know, I'm a _mother_," Ino glared at him as though completely shocked at his questions. "You can't talk to me that way!" she stormed into the house, and Sakura, unable to help herself, broke into laughter.

"So…if you go along with the lewd talk, she blows herself out like a storm…" Temari nodded thoughtfully, tapping her lips as Kiba handed her some lemonade and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Interesting, I'll have to remember that."

"I was not being lewd, I was interested." Sai frowned, unsure of where the conversation had gone, but when Sakura leaned over and kissed him warmly, he decided he didn't really mind.

----------

To be Continued…


	5. Chapter 5

If I Fall

Chapter 5

----------

"Hey," Tenten turned around in the dark hall and beckoned. Shino, wearing only a pair of shorts, a towel slung over his shoulder and a basket in one hand, followed her to the door and quietly they slipped outside where the stars and the gibbous moon shone overhead. The ethereal light gleamed off the calm water of the pool, which they bypassed for the small building that lay between the pool and the pool house. "The lights are out in Chez Kankurou, I think he's sleeping."

"That or he's doing things Kankurou does." Shino gave her a lopsided grin and she burst into giggles. "Let's be glad the lights are out."

"Yeah, seriously." She rolled her eyes. "Or maybe he's lying low. He doesn't know when Sasuke will feel well enough to come after him with an axe."

"Come on, then," he moved to the door of the small building and opened it, revealing a hot tub steaming invitingly. She pulled the towel off his shoulder, pausing to kiss his lips lightly, and darting into the small enclosure.

"Were you sad when we were playing in the pool without you?" she teased him tossing the robe she had worn over her swimsuit to one side. He closed the door and set the basket down, moving over to the controls, turning up the bubbles and adjusting the temperature.

"Yes, I do so dearly love to witness Sasuke's fits of rage first-hand." Shino told her, his voice dry. "Did he squeal like a seven-year-old girl? That's my favorite."

"No, but I think steam actually came out of his ears." Tenten told him thoughtfully. "Although it was seriously hilarious when he fell on his ass. Slightly concerning, but still hilarious."

"You sure he's okay?" Shino asked, following her into the tub.

"Yeah, Sakura said it was a mild concussion, and he just needed to rest. Plus, he has Naruto with him, you know that if he starts to look worse Naruto would probably carry him on his back to the hospital if he had to." Tenten waded around a bit, holding her body near his, but just barely brushing against him. He allowed this teasing to continue for a few moments before he grabbed her waist and pulled her against him, kissing her slowly. She sighed against his mouth and pushed him back, forcing him to sit on the benched perimeter as she held him in place with her hips, straddling him and pressing soft kisses along his shoulder. "In the moonlight…your skin is so pale, it looks like it's glowing."

"I should be the one saying things like that to you," he had been trying to reach her neck with his own lips, but it was hard to intervene with her progress, kissing her way across the hollow of his throat and the other shoulder, so he let his fingers move over her side, lingering near her hips and then up over the curve of her breasts, around back to the graceful arch of her spine.

"Nuh-uh, you're the prettiest one in this relationship," she smirked and stuck her tongue out at him, and he flushed, rolling his eyes in a vain attempt to ignore her semi-teasing remark. "Your eyes are like—"

"Okay, would you like something to eat?" he twisted under her to grab the basket and she giggled at his discomfort before rummaging through it with him. Her hand lit on a bottle and she pulled it out, her eyebrows shooting up. "Relax, it's sparkling cider."

"What else…strawberries, cheese, apple slices, crackers..." she looked up, brown eyes wide and seemingly sincere. "Wow, Shino, you must have slaved in the kitchen all day to make me this."

"I think that you are actually becoming more of a smart ass as time goes on." He advised her calmly, setting the basket down and popping a strawberry into her mouth. While she was distracted with the task of eating the fruit, he pulled out the glasses he had brought and struggled to uncork the bottle, which was hard to do with a girl in his lap. Finally, she took pity on him and popped it out, managing to send it flying straight at his head.

"Oh god! Are you okay?" she gasped as he clutched at his face and quelled the immediate urge to curse.

"It's fine, you missed my eyes." He rubbed at his sore cheek and lifted his hand so she could see the damage was minimal. "Although I think my glowing princess skin may now be bruised."

"I'm really sorry," she kissed his reddened cheekbone. "I'll love you even if you're marked."

"Oh good," he sighed, "I guess now is the perfect time to tell you about the tattoo I got on my ass."

Silence.

Then Shino burst into laughter, so loud that people outside might have been able to hear it if they were listening. Temari rolled her eyes and flicked his nose, unable to stop a smile from forming on her own lips.

"_I'm_ the smart ass? Interesting." She poured the cider and gave some to him before sipping at her own glass. "Someday we should do something like this without the entire group. I love them, but sometimes I just want to be alone with you, you know?"

"We're alone now," he set his glass aside and she did the same, trailing her fingers over his jaw and down his throat, settling herself more fully in his lap and grinding her hips against his as she kissed him deeply. "For now."

"It's amazing to think that—"

"_C'est le jacuzzi_," Kankurou's voice caused them to stiffen in surprise, although Tenten didn't move away from Shino, who gripped her hips tightly. The Sabaku stood in the doorway to the small building with two scantily clad women behind him, looking over his shoulder curiously. "Shit."

"Kankurou, what are you _doing?_" Tenten recovered quickly, managing to look rather dignified in her blue bikini, sitting straight up in Shino's lap and arching a dark eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure breaking the rules was what got you banished in the first place."

"And breaking everything else." Shino supplemented helpfully.

"Sasuke said no skanks." She reminded him. "You better not let him see you with two girls up here."

"Dammit, they aren't skanks." Kankurou grumbled, and the girls exchanged a confused glance before muttering something in French and turning to Kankurou, who turned and patted the one in front, a blonde in a black garment that might just qualify as a dress if one stretched the limits of the term.

"_Qu'est-ce que c'est_?" she repeated, pouting prettily.

"Hush, baby, _c'est il est _insect fucker _et elle est prostituée._" He told her, gesturing to the pair in the hot tub before patting her taut rear reassuringly.

"Um…you speak French?" Tenten frowned, vaguely surprised.

"Oh, I speak enough for the ladies," Kankurou nodded slowly, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Kankurou, _tu vas meurtre ceux-là femmes, mettre une bâche, s'il vous plait._" Shino turned to address the other man, whose face screwed up in concentration as he tried to understand what had just been said.

"Wait…can you like, say that again, but slower?" he asked, just as the blonde shrieked, pulled away from him, grabbed the other girl by the wrist, and ran away at a surprising speed for a pair of girls wearing six-inch heels. "Dammit! Did you tell them I have crabs?"

"You have _crabs_?!" Tenten giggled, and Shino snickered as well while Kankurou blustered in the doorway.

"_No!_ But that's what Temari keeps telling the ska—I mean, the girls I bring home to make them leave." He scowled in irritation.

"I asked you to please put down a tarp if you were going to kill those girls." Shino explained, and Tenten started laughing even harder, bending over his shoulder as she struggled to regain control.

"Dammit! That's not funny!" Kankurou stomped his foot down in irritation.

"Well, you called him an insect fucker." Tenten turned to Shino. "Right?"

"And you called Tenten a prostitute." Shino added, and he was suddenly alone in the hot tub as Tenten scrambled out rushing at Kankurou.

"You called me _what_?!" she snarled. "You hypocritical ass! I bet you _do_ have crabs!"

"Fuck, Tenten!" Kankurou turned and ran away from her as she chased him toward the pool house. "Christ, Shino, put a leash on your mantis-wrangler!"

"Tenten!" Shino chased after them, trying to catch his nearly rabid girlfriend. "It isn't worth it!"

"I'll kill him!" Tenten hopped the gate that Kankurou had closed and ran at the door, banging on it and yanking at the doorknob. "No one will care! Temari will _pay_ me!"

"No she won't!" Shino caught her and pulled her away from the door, trying to calm her. "Tenten, you can't just attack people like an action hero, you have to think about the baby."

"You…you're right." She took several deep breaths, and just then, the door flew open, revealing Kankurou's stunned face.

"The _what_?!" he gaped. "Holy crap…oh man, are you fucking knocked up, Tenten? No wonder you're such a bitch! Shit! It's like I'm the only one who knows how to work a damn condom!" he started laughing uproariously.

"Shit." Tenten hissed, her fists clenching tight as she clearly tried to restrain the urge to punch him. "Kankurou, you can't tell anyone."

"Oh, cause you're getting an abortion." Kankurou nodded knowingly. "Makes sense, I still don't know why Ino didn't just—"

"No!" Tenten pulled away from Shino, and this time she slapped Kankurou. "And if you talk about Aki like that again, I'll cut your throat in your sleep."

"She's feeling some nesting instincts." Shino advised the other man. "Generally I encourage it."

"You're _keeping_ it?" Kankurou gaped, clutching his cheek and standing a wary distance from Tenten. "What is wrong with everyone in this group? Fucking baby fever…I mean, if you want one, I think you could just like, buy one off the black market. I tried telling Hinata, but no, she wants them all home-grown and shit…"

"Of course we're keeping it, but you can't tell anyone." Tenten told him, shaking her finger at him severely. "It's still…still early, and we want to wait a little…make sure it's going to be okay. I mean, after Hinata…"

"Oh man, if you guys change your minds, you could sell _your_ baby to Hinata. She like, really wants a kid." Kankurou offered. "I could call her and check—"

"You aren't supposed to know," Shino cut in firmly. "You won't be telling anyone anything, and we won't be selling our child."

"Fine," Kankurou snorted and rolled his eyes, and Tenten lunged forward, grabbing his collar.

"I _mean_ it." She hissed. "Don't say _anything._ This isn't something for you and Ino to gossip about. It's serious. Be an adult for once."

"I _said_ fine," Kankurou grumbled. "No one thinks I can keep anything secret, just cause I like to discuss current events and shit, it's not like I can't keep shit to myself."

"Good, because I'll cut your throat if you say one word." Tenten shot him a last glare and released him, spinning on her heel and leaving before he could say anything else to annoy her. Shino felt that there wasn't really anything more he could add to that, so he simply shrugged and followed after her.

"Damn, everyone always threatening me…won't even let me unwind with some ladies." Kankurou grumbled, turning to close the door to the pool house and go to sleep.

Twenty minutes later he left to trawl the clubs for girls.

----------

Neji was feeling extremely wary. He was not comfortable with this situation. He knew it would end in tears, and possibly with sharp objects.

"It'll be okay," Gaara breathed in his ear, his lips brushing Neji's throat before he climbed over him and left him to the mercies of the blonde behind him.

At a sharp pain, Neji winced, but he heard Naruto hiss sharply at the same instant, and Sasuke chuckle, irritatingly enough. "Careful." He managed to keep his tone stoic and resisted the urge to throw something at the concussed man sprawled behind them on the bed watching.

"I guess I'm not that good…I've never really done this before." Naruto told him apologetically, his hands shaking slightly.

"It's not brain surgery." Sasuke advised him, not really sounding like someone who was suffering from any sort of injury. "Just start at the bottom and go slow."

"I don't see why I agreed to this." Neji pursed his lips in irritation, wincing at another sharp pain followed by a mumbled apology and some clumsy groping that he could feel but not see. "If you ruin it, I'll shave you in your sleep."

"Here," Gaara came back into the room, tossed a bag of chips at Sasuke and distributed sodas to the other men. "It's nice, right?" he asked Naruto, who flushed and shrugged, pulling away.

"I think I'm just pissing him off." The blonde admitted. "I don't think I can do it how he likes."

"He wouldn't like it however you did it." Sasuke opined, twisting the top off his bottle and stretching to set it down on his end table. "Well…he _would_, but he'd say he didn't."

"You're one to talk." Neji turned to glare at the Uchiha, wincing as his sudden movement made the situation worse.

"Here, let me show you." Gaara sat behind Naruto, his limbs snug against the other as he guided him, his own pale cheek resting against Naruto's tanned face. "Neji, please. Let us brush your hair."

"Fine." Neji straightened his back, and turned to face the television, feeling jealous, turned on, and wary all at once. He twisted the cap off his bottle and set it aside, annoyed that he was drinking soda and helping Sasuke stay awake when he could be drinking wine and spending time with _only_ Gaara. He was even more annoyed that Naruto now had Gaara's limbs wrapped around his so that _he_ could be allowed to brush out Neji's hair, which he was clearly no good at, and not at all qualified for.

"Carefully, see," Gaara's voice was low and husky, and Neji wondered how exactly this was affecting his lover, although at least now that Gaara had stepped in, he wasn't having his hair torn out by amateurs. Neji closed his eyes, listening to the sound of breathing behind him, barely audible behind the sound of the television. He could make out the different patterns; Naruto's breaths were deep and relaxed, Gaara's held a slight hitch of excitement, either because he was playing with Neji's hair or straddling Naruto or both, and Sasuke's was irregular and huffy. "Look how it shines…and feel it. Isn't it soft?" He felt hands in his hair, on his scalp, on his neck, and since he knew Gaara's touch so well, it was easy to figure out which hand was Naruto's.

"It is pretty," Naruto paused, and his breath hitched a moment, as though he suddenly became aware of the situation. "Isn't it, Sasuke?"

"If you like long hair so much, date a girl." Sasuke responded, but his voice was soft, and it was hard to tell whether he was annoyed, jealous, or intrigued.

"Sasuke, your hair is soft, too." Naruto assured him. "Let Gaara feel." There was a long silence, and without turning, Neji suddenly realized this situation was very precarious. This group dynamic had worked for the past few years on a few unspoken rules.

First, Sasuke and Neji understood about Gaara and Naruto and felt that it wasn't something that the had the right or the will to tear apart.

Second, while he would act surly, Neji did like Naruto, mostly because it was hard to resist anything that made Gaara smile.

Third, despite their past, Sasuke and Neji respected and understood each other.

And finally, even if they were polite, Sasuke would never like Gaara, and Gaara would never like Sasuke. They tolerated each other merely for Naruto's benefit, and when the blonde wasn't around, they could care less. When he was, the only thing they exchanged were glares and caustic remarks.

Neji had once thought of the possibility of there being something…more between the four of them. It wouldn't be the first time he'd ever thought of group sex, nor the first time he'd engaged in it, and he had long since learned that Sasuke was at least as experienced as him, if not more so. He had reached the conclusion that while something might be possible between Naruto, Gaara, and him if Sasuke suddenly died or dropped off the face of the planet, Gaara and Sasuke would never be able to share a bed, much less Naruto's attentions in such a situation. He didn't think of the option of Gaara dropping out. He wouldn't be motivated to do _anything_ without Gaara there.

But Naruto was cute, Sasuke was very good looking as well. If the situation was more feasible from an interpersonal relationship standpoint, he might allow something to initiate. It could have been fun, if he simply didn't care about anyone's feelings or any consequences. As it was…this could never work.

That didn't stop him from turning to see what Gaara would do, to see how Sasuke would react. He could picture familiar pale fingers lingering in unruly dark hair, could hear the soft noise Sasuke sometimes made when he wanted to be kissed, a noise that his proximity to the couple had made him very familiar with. And then…Gaara's hand would clench, he would yank Sasuke in and they would kiss, hot and hard. Or maybe Naruto would hear that noise, and it would draw him in, unable to resist, and then he would turn to Gaara, and it would be soft as a spring shower, and how naturally he would kiss one, then the other, and then Gaara and Sasuke would suddenly understand and capitulate, and Neji would feel a hand on him, and he would be so entranced by the scene that he wouldn't know if it was Naruto or Gaara, or if Sasuke was some sort of acrobat, and he'd be pulled in as well. He could hear the sounds, the way they would mingle. He'd heard them mingle before.

Once, when they had been very drunk, staying up late and watching movies with half their attention, finishing off so many bottles of wine that the next day Neji had flatly refused to get out of bed before two in the afternoon, things had gotten as close as they likely ever would.

They had been in the living room, and Neji still wondered about what would have happened if Temari had happened upon them, but luckily, no one had been up, or they had decided to leave well enough alone. Sasuke had a habit of trying to work Naruto off under tables or blankets, or whatever feeble barrier he could erect between the rest of the world and his target. Usually it didn't get very far before Naruto would make up some poor excuse and race off with Sasuke hot on his tail. Neji knew that he wasn't the only one aware of this "secret" habit, since Ino had once loudly complained that they never got to see the "good part" after one of these exits. However, tonight Naruto was relaxed, horny, and they were very, very drunk. He was on the large couch with Sasuke, while Neji and Gaara shared a loveseat, sitting much more properly, and with much less heavy petting. But Gaara's flickering gaze caught Neji's attention, and he noticed his lover shifting uncomfortably. It was a mark of how drunk Neji had been that it wasn't until there was a rhythmic wet noise coming from the direction of the couch that he thought to look over and saw Naruto, eyes closed and cheeks flushed in ecstasy, covered by a blanket that bobbed mysteriously. Even more mysteriously, Sasuke was nowhere to be seen, but he could hear the other man moaning softly.

It was obvious what was going on. It was dark, the only light coming from the flickering television, and somehow, it hadn't seemed really weird or anything. It had struck Neji as perfectly normal that Gaara was hard, that Gaara wanted him, and that it would be much better if they did it right here than walk _all_ the way to their bedroom.

He must have fallen asleep right after, and luckily someone had draped a blanket over their partially nude forms. Whether it had been Gaara, himself, or someone else, he had no idea. He barely remembered anything from that night. He couldn't remember what movie had been on, or even what they'd eaten for dinner.

He remembered glancing over when things had advanced, when he could hear them both, seeing their faces flushed and full of passion. He still thought Gaara's was more beautiful, would always be the most beautiful. But he could remember those faces. He could remember the noises.

He still thought that if they'd been on a bed, or all on one couch instead of on two separate ones, that night would have ended differently. Neji had already seen everyone there naked, had seen all of them hard at some point or another, so it didn't really change his knowledge base that much, but it had prompted him to really consider what such a change might mean for the four of them.

"Gaara," he didn't know what he was going to say to stop things from suddenly taking a wrong turn, but it ended up being enough, just saying that name. Gaara turned back, eyes mint green and full of love, full of life and happiness that had been seeping into them slowly for years now, never more markedly than since Gaara and he had met.

"You really are so beautiful." Gaara breathed, and Neji wasn't sure what he had done, how he had looked at his lover, but suddenly he squirmed out from between Naruto and the edge of the bed, clambering into Neji's lap and tracing his face with reverent fingers. "You really are."

"This is gross." Sasuke commented, back to his normal level of disdain for the world.

"I think it's the softest, baby." Naruto told him, and Neji felt the body behind him disappear, heard the noise of the bed shifting as Naruto climbed on top of it to be closer to his lover. "I love your messy hair. I love it just like it is."

There was silence, and then the soft noise of kisses. Neji was too busy kissing Gaara to really closely analyze his surroundings, but he knew that they were back to normal. Everything would be fine. Besides, Gaara and Sasuke would have to be pretty drunk to agree to climb into bed together, so for now…he'd imagine it, and be glad that it wasn't something that could ever come true.

He had everything he needed, there was nothing else. Only Gaara.

----------

To be Continued…


	6. Chapter 6

If I Fall

Chapter 6

----------

"I can't believe we have to leave tomorrow." Ino sighed heavily, picking at her dinner rather sullenly. "I don't want to leave."

"Don't you want to see Aki?" Sakura asked, and Ino shrugged slightly.

"Well, obviously, but it isn't like she couldn't just come to _me_." She heaved another deep sigh. "I wish we lived in France."

"You don't even speak French." Shikamaru pointed out the major flaw in this plan at once. "Neither do I."

"Well…we could learn." She gazed at the ceiling dreamily. "And besides, my English is good, and that's enough to get by. Nearly everyone can speak some English."

"As illustrated when we got completely lost and only Sai could get directions." Sakura reminded her with an arched brow.

"Well…we could hire a translator to go around with us." Ino decided. "Just until we could speak it well enough ourselves."

"Where are you planning to get the money for this translator?" Shikamaru asked as though it would have nothing to do with him whatever his wife decided.

"We would just choose someone who wants to come live in France, see?" she answered after a moment of consideration. "And then we wouldn't have to pay them. Like a student who wants to spend a year or two here, and they could live with us and take care of Aki. Who wouldn't want to live here?"

"You know, it is a shame you weren't born exorbitantly rich, Ino," Tenten pointed out with a wry grin on her face. "Because your attitudes toward life and reality would work out just fine if you had endless money. How do you expect to afford a place with enough room for the three of you and a nanny-translator-student whatever on the French Riviera?"

"They're just houses. They can't cost that much. I don't need anything _this_ big, not at first." Ino explained. "Although…Sasuke, you know, you're barely ever here. Wouldn't it be nice if you loaned the place to Shikamaru and I? We'd take good care of it."

"No." Sasuke glared at her over his fork. "I would never leave anything of mine in your dubious care."

"Geez, what did I _ever_ do to deserve that attitude?" Ino sighed as though put upon, and Sasuke simply blinked in response, feeling the question was clearly rhetorical.

"Houses are like, a huge responsibility." Kankurou felt no compunctions about clarifying Sasuke's stance, however. "And remember how when you had a baby, you flipped shit and skipped town to become a hooker or whatever? And babies are way smaller than houses."

"Um, I was a _waitress_, thank you." Ino told him in a tight voice, although the look of pure venom Shikamaru was shooting at Kankurou was probably more likely to concern him than her tone of voice. "And what would _you_ know about responsibility? I mean, you drove your last car through a diner!"

"I think it was actually a donut shop." Temari recalled thoughtfully.

"Liquor store." Gaara corrected quietly, and Neji nodded in agreement. "In a strip mall."

"That was an _accident._" Kankurou told them. "See how well you can switch gears when you've had two forties and a fifth of whiskey."

"Why were you at a liquor store if you were that drunk?" Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Because, when you're drunk, you only want to drink more." Kiba explained, and at the withering glance he received from his girlfriend, he coughed and demurred. "I mean…I hear…sometimes…some people do."

"Man, Temari, for Christmas, I think you should give Kiba his damn balls back." Kankurou shook his head in disgust. "And get me a new car, cause that one clearly had a faulty gear shift."

"Interesting." Temari leveled a glare at him. "What was faulty with the car you drove off the cliff? The brakes?"

"It wasn't a cliff!" Kankurou grumbled. "Damn, I wouldn't screw up those cars if I wasn't driving around drunk. You guys aren't supposed to let me do that. Isn't that a rule, right? Friends don't let friends drive drunk? And I don't see how it is Temari can hear me coming home at fucking four in the morning with a lady, but when I stumble out to get booze, you guys just let me go! It's like you don't even care what happens to me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Temari shook her head at him and snorted. "I forgot, all of your idiotic decisions are _my _responsibility."

Tenten bit back a snarky comment, not really wanting to draw Kankurou's ire. He hadn't said anything about her condition yet, which seemed nothing short of a miracle. She wondered if maybe he didn't remember, but no matter how drunk he had been that night, she had never known Kankurou to simply forget gossip. Shino had told her not to worry about it, that everyone would end up knowing at some point anyway, and she shouldn't make herself stressed out wondering whether or not Kankurou was going to be the one to tell or they were going to have the chance to let everyone know in their own time. Privately, Tenten thought that Shino was shy enough that he didn't want to make a big deal about it, and that he would be a bit relieved to have everyone suddenly know rather than have to deal with telling them.

_It is a big deal, though. This is really…really a big deal. It isn't that I want to have a giant presentation or anything, but this is _us_. This is ours, not Kankurou's, and I want to have us handle it. I don't want him to out us to our friends._

_I just hope this is a sign he's matured…_

Somehow, listening to him laugh as he reminisced about maiming yet another car made it seem very unlikely that was the case. Sometimes, she really missed Suri. She had been such a good influence, but Kankurou had screwed it up, and he was devolving into some hideous sort of frat boy, almost worse than he'd been when they first met.

"You guys, we shouldn't be fighting on our last night out here! We should be doing something fun." Naruto spoke up then, and Sasuke made a hilarious face that was something between disgusted at the idea of group activities and resigned to doing whatever Naruto wanted to so that he would be happy. He would probably never admit that he found it nearly impossible to say no to Naruto, but everyone knew it was true, and probably even he realized that at some level it was good for him to have someone to force him to socialize, lest he completely cut himself off from all the outside world.

"We should have a party!" Kankurou suggested.

"No." Sasuke countered at once.

"We could play a game or something, do something fun together." Ino suggested, and Shikamaru let out a noise that was something between a groan and a death rattle. Ino retaliated by smacking him over the head. "Shut up and have fun!" she commanded.

"How can anyone say no to that?" Kiba gave a sardonic grin and Temari failed to bite back her own laughter at the situation.

"Okay, well can we play a drinking game?" Kankurou crossed his arms, his face set as though entering negotiations he was determined to have his way in. "I have a bunch of shit out in the pool house we can use."

"Color me shocked." Neji commented in a wry tone.

"Seriously, you're like a weird squirrel." Chouji, who had been plowing through food, stopping him from having any chance to speak finally spoke up, half a chicken leg in one hand. "Except instead of seeds and nuts, you have little stores of booze everywhere."

"It's almost a skill." Temari shook her head slightly, but Kankurou was unfazed by her disapproval.

"What sort of drinking game should we play?" Sakura asked, steering the conversation back on target.

"I know, how about everyone who cleans their room and packs their things nicely can have a drink and quietly go to bed?" Sasuke suggested, and Naruto burst out laughing. "I wasn't joking."

"Come on, it would be fun to play a game!" Naruto urged him. "It's going to be our senior year in a few days, we'll all have to study and work really hard, and we'll need to watch out for Aki, and we can't just fool around and have fun. Now's a good chance to really let ourselves have a good time!"

"Man, I don't know why you're fighting this," Kankurou snorted. "You know Naruto gets silly drunk and you'll get to have all kinds of sex with him later if you just agree."

"Thanks for your concern, but I don't really think that alcohol is required for me to get laid." Sasuke told him pointedly. "That is one of the many points where we differ from each other, Kankurou."

"Man, no one is _ever_ on my side." Kankurou grumbled, then shook it off and tapped his lips thoughtfully with one finger. "If I have a deck of cards around here somewhere, we could play lots of different games."

"But we're all friends! We know each other, we should play a game like I Never, or Truth and Dare." Ino argued. "Card games are for when you don't really know the people."

"No, I think you're confused. Card games are for adults." Shikamaru advised her. "Truth and Dare is for teenage girls."

"I don't know, I think it would be pretty fun." Sakura shrugged, and noticed Sai's look of dismay and interest. "It's a game where you have to either answer something truthfully or the person asking can dare you to do something embarrassing or funny."

"Why would you not simply answer truthfully?" Sai wanted to know, and she smiled.

"Sometimes the questions can be more embarrassing than the dares." She attempted to explain.

"Okay, Sai's never played Truth and Dare! We clearly have to rectify this." Ino nodded sharply. "Kankurou, go get your booze. We can play in the main sitting room."

"We are not drinking in there. The carpet in there is worth at least—" Sasuke began, but Ino cut him off at once.

"Okay, fussy-britches." She frowned. "Where should we play that he won't have a hissy fit if we spill?" she asked Naruto, who considered the question slowly.

"You guys, I don't really want to drink the night before I'm flying, I get really air-sick." Tenten put in, now that Kankurou had left the room and wasn't likely to blurt out the real reason she didn't want to drink. "Do you mind if I play without the shots?"

"That's fine." Naruto nodded in answer. "What if we played outside? We could play near the pool, or out in the gazebo in the garden. Or in the hot tub!"

"Drinking in a hot tub is a horrible idea." Sakura told him. "It will be a _very_ short game."

"Well…we have to get up early tomorrow anyway." Tenten pointed out, thinking the game lasting less time was probably for the best. She didn't want Kankurou to use it as a "hilarious" opportunity to out her and Shino. "Maybe that would be better? Besides, I'll miss the hot tub."

"Geez, you guys, I already got a pool put in, now you'll start whining until you get a hot tub too." Temari pretended to be annoyed, but Kiba whispered something in her ear and she fell into a fit of giggles.

"Just one more place for you to outlaw us from having sex in." Ino grumbled. "Like you really think anyone follows _any_ of your rules."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." Temari sighed and turned to Shikamaru. "Can you please exercise some control over her?"

"Soon as I figure out how that's done, I'll let you know." Shikamaru informed her dryly.

"So are we all going out to the hot tub?" Naruto was up on his feet, his body tensed and ready to spring away at the first sign of agreement. "Sasuke? Can we all play out there?" Sasuke scowled. He honestly could think of nothing he would like less than to play a juvenile drinking game with all of these people rather than hole up with Naruto in the master bedroom and have a quiet night alone. However, it was clear that Naruto was all for this idea of a game, and he figured that if he agreed, the night could still pass relatively peacefully, and he could eventually get Naruto back to that bedroom. He would just need to be patient.

"Fine." He capitulated at last and Naruto gave a little jump before running out of the room to change. "This is ridiculous."

"Come on, it will be fun," Sakura pulled Sai up so they could go change, and most of the people began filing out to follow suit, although Chouji seemed rather hell-bent on finishing every bit of food he possibly could before he abandoned the spread. "And you know it means a lot to Naruto when you do this stuff. It's for his sake, more than anything."

"I know." Sasuke grumbled and gave her something approximating a smile. She pecked him on the cheek and passed him on the way to her room with Sai. He let out a long-suffering sigh and went to change for the hot tub as well, missing a chance to see Naruto change because of his lethargy about the idea, and therefore losing his last hope of diverting his lover from this plan at the last minute. He changed quickly, in resentful silence, and slumped down the hall and outside into the small building which housed the hot tub, and where nearly everyone was already gathered. Kankurou and Kiba were assiduously pouring out drinks, and distributing them to the people already in the hot tub. Sasuke slid in between Naruto and Shino with at least the knowledge that he would be able to sit next to his topless boyfriend for however long this torture was meant to last.

"Don't worry, this'll be fun," Naruto assured him, apparently noticing the look of extreme aggravation and resignation on his face, kissing him warmly. "Thanks for being a good sport."

"If anyone gets broken glass in the plumbing, I'll make them pay for the repairs." Sasuke returned.

"You're so romantic." Naruto teased just as Ino, who was getting a bowl and filling it with everyone's names, returned with her object in hand.

"Everyone ready?" she handed the bowl down to Sakura as Kankurou handed her a shot and the rest of them climbed into the tub. "Okay, since it was my idea, I get to go first." No one bothered to argue with Ino, flushed and happy where she sat between Shikamaru and Sai, who looked cautiously interested in what was happening. "Now, since Sai's never played before, I'll just go over the rules real fast. You draw out someone's name at random, and then you ask them a "truth," basically something you know they normally wouldn't admit to or want to answer. And then they can either answer it and take one shot, or they can choose to take a dare, but you don't find out what the dare is until the person opts for that. A dare can be anything, usually something embarrassing or silly, like Sakura was saying, something that person normally wouldn't do. So if I dared you to kiss Sakura, that wouldn't really be a good dare, but if I dared Tenten to do it, it would be, see?"

"That's a good dare…I think that it should be demonstrated so Sai understands better." Kankurou, who was between Chouji and Kiba was wondering at his bad luck at being completely surrounded by guys when there were so many pretty girls in the tub. It was distinctly unfair.

"You are _such_ a lech." Temari, on Kiba's other side, reached around to flick Kankurou's ear. "Keep your perverted dares to yourself."

"And the person would choose the dare if they did not want to answer the truth…" Sai mused thoughtfully. "What if they decide they would rather answer after hearing the alternative? May they recant their decision to take a dare?"

"No, you can't go back." Tenten interjected, apparently something of a veteran at this sort of game, and feeling rather confident in herself. There was really only one question she didn't want to answer particularly, and only Kankurou would know to ask it, so her chances of being trapped were rather slim. Besides, it was obvious if he did get her, his dare would be something idiotic like kissing Sakura or flashing them or something. He was predictable, and there was a certain comfort in knowing that. "Once you choose dare, you have to do what you're dared to do, and then you take two drinks, right Ino?"

"Yeah, and if you don't answer or do the dare, you have to take three drinks, and the person who dared you gets to go again, and you don't get to ask anyone until it comes back to you and you do it right." She explained. "And you can't repeat _anything_ you hear here to anyone unless you're given permission. There is strict Truth and Dare confidentiality rules."

"Can we please get this over with?" Shikamaru sighed heavily. He could see how excited Ino was, but at the same time, something like this game seemed like a good way to cause more annoying drama within their group. He actually wished Hinata was there, because she was able to exert a good influence over many of the people there without them realizing, and they might be under better behavior under her gentle silver gaze, but as it was…he didn't delude himself that Ino would hold back for his sake.

"Honestly, I feel we're all a bit old for this." Neji grumbled from across the tub where he sat between Temari and Gaara.

"Okay, grumpy, we'll make sure not to cut into your busy Gaara-screwing schedule too much." Ino stuck her tongue out at him and grabbed the large bowl that was bobbing merrily on the surface of the water, drawing out a name with a rather predatory look on her face. There was a flash of mild disappointment as she read the name and then she smiled wickedly and looked up. "Kankurou, how many bottles of liquor do you have hidden at the house back home?"

"That…well, um…" Kankurou clearly hadn't expected there to be anything he _wouldn't_ want to answer, but Ino figured it was likely he had thought she was going to ask about his sexual escapades, not something that could get him in serious trouble with Temari, who he already knew could reach him from the other side of Kiba. Kiba was currently looking very nervous, as though he realized how incendiary this topic could be, and he didn't feel comfortable providing a buffer zone between the siblings.

"Why don't you answer, Kankurou?" Temari prompted, gritting her teeth. She knew that he had alcohol hidden, and she'd turned up a few bottles on her own, but if she knew how many there were, she could demand he produce all his contraband, and she would know for sure if he was holding back. "It's a simple question. I know you hide alcohol in the house."

"Well…in that case," Kankurou eyed his sister warily before doing some calculations, his eyes glazing over slightly as he tried to picture the layout of the house and all of the hiding places he had, and how many bottles were hidden in each. "I think…it's hard to remember every place I've used, and I think I may have forgotten a couple, but I'm pretty sure…sixty-four…no, sixty-seven bottles. Pretty sure."

"Sixty…sixty-seven bottles?" Temari's face went white and then red in quick succession. Kankurou knew this expression well enough to know that she was about to go into what he privately referred to as Crazy-bitch Berserker Mode. He edged closer to Chouji, who did not seem willing to protect him. "How can you…I knew you probably had five or ten I couldn't find…but sixty-seven? Where are they even at? How am I not tripping over liquor on my way to the kitchen?"

"Mostly it's up in the attic." Gaara supplied helpfully. "That's where he keeps wine, too."

"Hey! Have you been getting into my stash?" Kankurou turned on his brother, still rather terrified of Temari, but annoyed that his secret stock wasn't as hidden as he liked. "I knew that there were bottles going missing."

"Dude, everyone takes it. If you're going to have illegally hidden contraband, we may not tell on you, but we will partake if we feel like it." Naruto assured him.

"You all knew!" Temari scowled at her friends. "You knew it was against the rules but all you did was take part, which makes you _all_ rule-breakers."

"Oh, whatever, like there is one rule you've made that hasn't been broken." Sasuke sneered at her, more to draw her ire away from Naruto than anything. "And if you think anyone believes _you_ haven't broken any of them, you're living a lie."

"It is true…even I have broken the rules on occasion." Sai admitted, clearly feeling very guilty. "But when you are young and in love, it is difficult to stop yourself when the mood strikes and you are not in the properly designated sex area."

"Sai, please," Sakura flushed scarlet. "I think that's enough."

"Yeah, Kankurou, your turn." Ino pushed the bowl across to him, and he nearly didn't catch it since he was busy watching to see if Temari was going to somehow pull a knife out of her one-piece and start stabbing him. "Let's hold off all retaliation until we're back in Japan, please, Temari."

"When we get home, you're going to walk me through the house, and you're going to pull out _every_ bottle you've hidden." Temari hissed, and Kankurou sullenly drew a name, feeling very annoyed with Ino for getting him in trouble. It usually never occurred to Kankurou that he in fact got himself in trouble by doing things he shouldn't.

"Okay, fine, bitch." Kankurou winced as Kiba smacked him in the back of the head for calling his girlfriend a name, and felt distinctly as though the whole world was pitted against him. He looked down at the name and took a second to think of something clever. "Sai,"

"Oh good god." Sakura buried her face in her hands as though all of her worst fears had just been realized.

"Which rooms have you 'broken the rules' in, and how many times?" Kankurou finished with a grin so wide it was like a cat that had caught a canary.

"Oh, well," Sai glanced at Sakura, who was sinking down as though ready to drown herself to avoid embarrassment. "Sakura…would you rather I choose a dare than answer? I know you told me that the sex is not a proper subject for discussion."

"Truth and Dare doesn't really constitute polite conversation." Tenten pointed out from the other side of Sakura, sipping at her cranberry juice even though it wasn't her turn. "Is it really that bad, Sakura? We've all done it."

"Um, I haven't." Chouji reminded them.

"You don't count." Ino told him dismissively, and he frowned before Shikamaru turned from his wife, patting his old friend on the back consolingly.

"Some people are more interested in being successful students than in endless debauchery." Temari told Ino sharply in Chouji's defense, but he didn't really seem that bolstered by the support. Initially, it hadn't bothered him to see his friends all pairing off, and they still included him in activities, but after three years, it began to wear on him that he was always the odd man out. Even Kankurou had his "skanks," but Chouji was always going stag to everything, and sometimes it became difficult to put up his cheerful expression and not mind the situation.

Although…he didn't envy them all the drama. When he thought of that, he wasn't very regretful. He had been casually interested in a couple girls over the years, but when he came home to all the bickering and twisted interpersonal relationships, it was hard to feel like he wanted to date anyone. It seemed much more work than it was worth.

"Sakura, if you tell me to choose dare, I will," Sai advised his fiancé. "I would rather not upset you, even if I am made to do something silly."

"Man, you are whipped." Kiba commented, and Temari smacked him, prompting snickers from many of their friends.

"You're one to talk." Kankurou told Kiba. "My sister has you on a leash so short, I'm surprised you can breathe without her permission."

"I wish someone had _you_ on a leash." Sakura snapped at Kankurou, annoyed with the situation they were in. She didn't really want to air the details of her sex life, but at the same time, she didn't want to subject Sai to whatever sort of dare Kankurou might come up with. "You know what, honey, if you want to take the dare, you can, but I won't be upset with you either way. You aren't the one who asked the question."

"That's girl-talk for 'take the dare or I'm not putting out tonight.'" Shikamaru advised Sai in a low tone, and Ino, rather than being annoyed, snickered at his advice. She was quite enjoying the discomfiture caused by the game so far, and it had only just started.

"Would you keep your smart-ass comments to yourself, Shikamaru?" Sakura snapped at him, something that was rare, since she was normally rather content and even-keeled.

"I think I will take the dare, after all." Sai answered finally. "I can tell that even if you will not be upset with me, you will be upset, and I do not want that. I will brave whatever dare Kankurou can think of."

"Sai," she flushed and smiled at his thoughtfulness and self-sacrifice for her own sense of dignity. "Thanks."

"Oh man, okay." Kankurou paused to think of something suitably horrible before he snapped his fingers in excitement, jumped out of the tub and grabbed an un-opened bottle of tequila. "I dare you to drink this whole bottle without stopping."

"Okay, I think that would kill him." Temari intervened. "You might as well dare him to throw himself off a cliff or walk into a knife."

"He won't _die_." Kankurou rolled his eyes. "It's only a fifth. I've seen Tenten put this much away, and she probably weighs fifty pounds less than him."

"I don't like this dare," Sakura opined as Sai accepted the bottle with some trepidation. He knew as well as anyone that he was extremely susceptible to alcohol, and the most he'd ever had in a night had been a quarter of a bottle of vodka, which had been over the course of five hours. This would be four times that amount, and in only five minutes. He still remembered how hung-over he had been from that amount, and he had no doubt that if he did this, he would likely be sick. Besides, he would have to drink two times afterwards to seal the dare. Mathematically, he could see what his only option was.

"I have decided that I will opt for taking three drinks." Sai answered, setting the bottle aside warily, and Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. "As it is, that will probably affect me quite strongly, but I would rather not vomit all over Sakura and the rest of you, as I am quite likely to do if I attempt to complete your dare. In that case, I would likely upset Sakura even more than if I had spoken of all the places in which we had engaged in illicit activities."

"Man, this game is just turning into a huge lame-fest if everyone's just going to do whatever their dumb girlfriend wants." Kankurou grumbled as Sai took the drinks and Sakura kissed him to assuage the feeling of failure at being unable to complete either of the challenges Kankurou had posed.

"Don't be a dick." Temari hissed at him. "Pick again, and try to be a little more reasonable this time. I still think that was an unfair dare."

"Man, you're such a fucking game-killer." Kankurou dug in the bowl and pulled out a name, his eyes lighting up at once as he looked across the tub. Tenten felt a nervous twisting in her stomach, and had a sudden premonition that the time for her secret had come to an end. "Shino,"

"Kankurou, you promised!" she blurted out at once, knowing what had to be coming. "If you do it, I'll tell Sasuke all about your activities in the pool house."

"What? What activities?" Sasuke, who had been more concerned with seeing if he could get his hand in Naruto's shorts without anyone noticing was suddenly very aware of the conversation. "I told you no skanks! I swear to god, if you've been bringing your syphilitic whores up here, I'll—"

"Hey, thanks a lot!" Kankurou growled at Tenten. "I wasn't going to ask that, but now that you've blown the whistle on me, Shino, I have a question for you. How many girls have you knocked up?"

"But I thought we found out that Himeko was never really…wait a second!" Ino's excitement shot through the roof. "Oh my god, Tenten, are you…are you?!"

Shino and Tenten looked at each other a long moment, and finally Shino gave a slight shrug and she sighed heavily before answering. "Yes, I'm pregnant." She turned a fierce glare on Kankurou. "Although it was meant to be a secret! You know, I actually fooled myself into thinking you'd grown up."

"Wait, how long has Kankurou known?" Temari was surprised to find that her older brother could keep _anything _secret for longer than five minutes. "How did he even find out?"

"Why didn't you tell me!?" Ino had gone from extremely excited to discover this bit of news to offended at the fact that Kankurou had known the secret before her. "Kankurou doesn't know _anything_ about babies, unless you count however many illegitimate children he has running around."

"I _don't_ have any kids." Kankurou grumbled. "And I overheard them, that's all."

"Yeah, frankly, out of everyone I know, Kankurou would probably be dead last on my list of preferred confidantes." Tenten was still annoyed that her secret had come out early, just as she feared, but when she saw the small smile on Shino's face, it took a moment for her to realize that he was happy, and not a little bit proud. That assuaged her anger a bit.

"I don't understand why it was a secret." Sakura asked. "It's not like with Ino, it seems pretty obvious Shino's aware of the situation."

"Well, after…it seemed like we should wait to be sure nothing…nothing happened." Tenten worded it as delicately as possible, but she still saw Kiba pale at her words and knew he must be thinking of what had happened with Hinata and his child. "It's still early. I wanted to wait until the second trimester, and I'm only three months pregnant so far, and I didn't want to make a big deal and then have it…you know."

"Are you guys going to get married now?" Naruto asked. "Or wait until after the baby?"

"We were hoping to get married soon, anyway." Tenten answered. "Probably something small in September or October. I don't want to steal Sakura's thunder."

"Hey! I know I'm not the only one who wants to get married." Sakura flushed, feeling self-conscious. "You guys can have as big of a wedding as you like. You could probably _afford_ a bigger wedding."

"Yeah, my parents will be sure to fund us." Shino remarked dryly, and Tenten, who had long since learned to deal with the strain in relations between herself and his parents, shrugged knowingly.

"Well, I was thinking after school at first, but when I found out…well, we have been trying for a little bit, so it was good news." Tenten went on. "After…things that happened a few years ago, we both realized we really wanted kids, and I'd rather start now than be pregnant while I'm trying to get my master's degree." She didn't see the look that passed between Sai and Sakura as she went on. "But even if it's small…I would like to still be…well, normal-shaped when I'm in my dress, so we pushed the date forward when we found out I was pregnant already."

"Oh man, you guys actually did this on purpose?" Kankurou threw up his hands in dismay. "I figured you were like 'shit, I'm pregnant…oh well, guess we'll just keep it' or whatever. I can't believe you actually got knocked up on purpose. You know, Shino, after she has a kid, she'll never be the same down there."

"Shut up!" Temari snapped at him in annoyance.

"What, it's true!" he insisted. "Just ask Shikamaru, I'm sure he knows what I'm talking about."

"Shikamaru is perfectly happy with the condition of all of my parts, thank you very much." Ino snarled at Kankurou, and Shikamaru shot him a murderous look, so he subsided. Generally, once he'd reached the point that someone as laid back as Shikamaru wanted to hurt him, he found it was better to keep his mouth shut.

"Can we come to the wedding?" Sai asked. "I would love to attend. And I am very happy for you both. Congratulations on your child, even if it is still very early and small."

"Aki can be the flower girl!" Ino volunteered.

"I said it was going to be small, you guys." Tenten sighed heavily. She wouldn't have minded a small or large wedding, but she knew that Shino would be happier with a small ceremony, so she had gone along with it. As long as she got a nice dress out of the deal, she was more than satisfied.

_I'd probably be happy if I had to wear a sack and we were married by a stinky hobo…but still. I'm glad I can have this. I'm glad we can share something like this._

"Did you know where you were going to have it?" Temari asked. "You're welcome to use the house, if you like. You could use the porch as an altar and we could sit in the lawn…it wouldn't be big."

"Yes, I'm sure Shino wants to be put on display for half the campus." Sasuke pointed out in a snarky tone. "You guys should just butt out. Now, Kankurou, what's this about your activities in the pool house?"

"Dammit!" Kankurou grumbled. "I don't see why you care so much about it. And you don't have any evidence! The girls they saw me with ran off."

"That's true." Tenten admitted. "But I'd bet good money he's had more up here since then."

"You are banished from all my properties, Kankurou." Sasuke spoke after a pause. "You may never again set foot in any of my homes, as it is clearly too much to expect you to respect other people's rules while living under their roof."

"How do you think I feel?" Temari pointed out, but she was ignored. Kiba kissed her temple consolingly as the bowl was passed to Shino, who had, in a rather roundabout way, answered the question he had been asked after all. He drew a name and looked at it for a moment with a blank expression on his face before turning to the girl sitting next to him.

"Tenten, do you love me?" he asked, and Kankurou let out a deep groan of disgust. Tenten realized what had happened and smiled, nodding and kissing him softly, grateful for the reprieve as he passed her the bowl.

"You are King of the Pussies, Shino." Kankurou declared. "You're seriously wasting your turn on that bullshit! That's like if I had asked if you liked fucking bugs. Ridiculous."

"Not everyone sees this game as a chance to torture their friends." Tenten informed him in a tone of intense dignity as she drew a name and looked at it for some time in concentration. "Chouji, are you straight?"

The husky young man flushed brilliantly at the question, and Shikamaru glared at Tenten. "You are such a hypocrite."

"What? I really want to know." Tenten shrugged, feeling guilty as she saw the look Shino was giving her and noticing that Ino seemed extremely pleased with her question. "I mean…I've never heard him talk about a girl like…like that, and he's never dated anyone I know of the whole time we've known him, and I just thought, maybe if he was already in love with someone, but couldn't really see how to say it…"

"Oh man, you think he's got it in for Shikamaru?!" Kiba blurted out, and Temari gave him a look of such withering disapproval he wilted at once. "I mean…it is a little weird…if you think, and they've been tight since forever."

"You guys, there's no way." Ino started laughing at that point. "There's nothing between Chouji and Shikamaru but friendship. People can just be friends, you know."

"Yeah, like Sasuke and Naruto." Kankurou pointed out. "Man, it's true, isn't it? Poor Chouji, carrying a flame for Straighty McStraighterson, watching him marry Big-boobs McChesty. That's gotta suck."

"You guys, knock it off." Shikamaru's voice was strained, and it was clear that Chouji was utterly humiliated by all this speculation. "Chouji likes girls, and even if he didn't, it wouldn't matter, cause he's a way better person than all you assholes!"

"Yeah, I don't think I like the insinuation there," Naruto spoke up. "What if he were gay? Would it matter? Does anyone want to say anything while we're all here?"

"I'm _not_ gay!" Chouji leapt out of the tub, his face scarlet and his fists clenched, his lip quivering in anger and embarrassment. "I'm not fucking gay, just because I'm not dramatic and full of teenage angst like you guys doesn't mean you have to invent some soap opera plot for me to wedge into with you! If you'd all spend time talking to each other about your own feelings rather than speculating about everyone else behind their backs, maybe you wouldn't constantly be falling apart and coming together in some sick cycle! And you're no better!" he pointed at Shikamaru in accusation. "You say you hate drama, and look at who you're with! Ino is the biggest gossip drama-queen I've ever known, and I don't say anything, because you seem to care about each other, but if you're all so happy, why do you always have to get in everyone else's business? You're all…I'm sick of always being the stable one, and to think…you're all coming up with this story behind my back to explain why I stay single. Did it ever occur to you that maybe seeing the shit you go through makes me _dread_ having a girlfriend?"

"Chouji…we're sorry," Shikamaru had only seen Chouji get angry a few times, and they'd known each other for most of their lives. It was so alarming, nothing that Chouji had said about him really bothered him at all. "Look, I'm on your side. You know that, come on, how long have we known each other?" he held out a hand to summon Chouji back to the hot tub. "Just…they didn't mean anything bad by it, okay? Right, you guys?"

"Yeah, sorry," Tenten felt like she wanted to die. She couldn't believe she'd made Chouji so angry. She felt like a horrible human being. She didn't even know that Chouji was capable of anger. He was always so calm and cheerful. "I really didn't mean anything bad by it. It doesn't matter who you like or what you choose, you're still our friend, and we're all grateful to you for all you do."

"I still don't see why there would be anything _wrong_ with Chouji being gay." Naruto grumbled, highly offended.

"Drop it, Naruto." Gaara spoke then, and they looked at each other for a long moment, not seeing the sullen look on Sasuke's face at this exchange. "That's not the point."

"Sorry, Chouji." Kiba spoke, prompted by a sharp elbow digging into him and the color began to drain from his face.

"I'm sorry, too." Ino, who had also defended him, spoke up, and Chouji blinked at her in surprise, since he hadn't exactly been very nice to her in his tirade. "It's true that I cause a lot of trouble for you and for Shikamaru, and I'm really glad you're always there for him, and I think…I think you're about the best friend I could wish for him to have. And even if you don't like me, you always help us out when we're having trouble."

"I…it isn't that I don't like you," Chouji felt a bit ashamed now, and climbed back into the tub, shrugging sheepishly. "I do, I think you're a good person, and I know you really love Shikamaru, and that's the most important thing. I just…sorry guys, I don't get angry much, so I'm not really good at controlling my anger. I didn't mean to say all that stuff."

"Maybe we shouldn't play this." Sakura suggested, but Chouji shook his head.

"No, it's fine, I shouldn't have gotten so worked up. I guess I'm not used to so much attention. I'm always kind of in the background, you know?" he shrugged again, and Ino stepped around Shikamaru, hugging him warmly and kissing him on the cheek.

"Shikamaru's right, you are a way better person than all us assholes." She gave him a wry grin, and Shikamaru chuckled uncomfortably as she returned to her seat and Chouji, uncomfortable with all the praise just as much as he had been with all the speculation, drew the bowl toward him so that the attention of the group could be shifted.

"Okay, okay, it's no big deal," he flushed, still embarrassed, but not angry about it anymore. He knew his friends were his friends, and he knew they hadn't meant any harm. "Gaara, let's see…" he looked at the stoic redhead as he tried to think of something to ask. He wanted something that would be funny, but still interesting enough to draw everyone's attention away from him. The mood was still too tense. He certainly wasn't going to ask anything about Naruto, he could tell where that line of questioning would go, and from the wary look on Sasuke's face, he knew that was exactly what the Uchiha was worried he would ask. It was hard to think of anything he could ask that wouldn't make anyone angry, but that's what he most wanted. He wanted his friends to laugh, to feel better, to know he wasn't really angry with them, and to have fun. Suddenly, he remembered Temari showing him some pictures of the three of them when they were younger, and inspiration struck. "I know you had a teddy-bear when you were a kid…what was its name, and what happened to it?" Everyone burst out laughing at this, even Neji and Sasuke, and Chouji sighed in relief at his success.

"Are you serious?" Gaara spoke after the laughter had died out, and Neji leaned over, kissing his temple in reassurance. Chouji thought that it was likely Neji had also been dreading a question about the weird Naruto situation, and that the laughter from him had been relief more than anything else.

"Don't lie, you know I know the answer." Temari wagged a finger at him in mock-warning, and Kankurou, who clearly also knew about the bear, was struggling to hold in his laughter at the thought of Gaara having to speak of it aloud.

"I don't see why this is so interesting." Gaara grumbled.

"If it isn't interesting, it shouldn't be any trouble to tell us about it." Naruto chuckled slightly and ruffled Gaara's hair, but Sasuke was still so relieved at the subject of the question he didn't seem bothered by the casual affection. "Come on, just tell us. You know someone will just ask Temari or Kankurou about it if you won't say anything."

"Neji knows, too. I told him like a year ago." Temari gave a broad wink, and another wave of laughter greeted her words. "It's not a big deal, Gaara, a lot of people had stuffed animals when they were little."

Gaara blinked mint green eyes slowly, surveying his audience and considering whether it was really worth it to keep this a secret, since it was now obvious that even if he took the dare and didn't say anything, eventually someone would get the truth out of his lover or one of his siblings. "Fine." He finally relented, and unable to see how he could maintain his dignity after this, he moved more securely under the shelter of Neji's arm. "His name is Snuggles, and he's in a box under my bed at home."

"Snuggles!" Ino repeated, laughing so hard she was at serious risk of falling underwater and drowning. Her reaction was the strongest, but gales of laughter greeted the answer, and Gaara felt extremely uncomfortable and annoyed. Even Naruto was laughing at him. It was completely unfair.

"Hey," Neji pulled him closer, his lips hot against Gaara's ear. "I think it's cute."

"He's right, it is cute." Naruto recovered, leaning over and kissing Gaara on the cheek, which appeased him a little. "It's just the way you said it, so angry. Like…Snuggles…" he growled and attempted to look as sullen as possible, but broke into laughter again. Gaara was feeling betrayed by all his friends as the bowl was given to him.

"I don't like this game." He spoke out loud.

"Don't be angry, baby." Neji breathed in his ear. "It's all in fun."

"I don't see why I should be made a fool." Gaara grumbled, finding it hard to stay angry when Neji was snuggling up to him and whispering endearments in his ear. Finally, feeling partially appeased by Neji's lavish affection on the one side, and partially appeased by the feel of Naruto's hand on his leg under the water, something that pleased him to no end, mostly because he knew Sasuke wouldn't like it, he drew out a name. He read it, blinked, and his eyes lit up at once. He was suddenly feeling much better. "Sasuke," he spoke the name slowly, savoring the sound of his rival drawing in a breath in alarm on the other side of the blond man between them. He felt Naruto's hand tighten, and while he knew it was meant as a warning, it only pleased him, and he carried on with the question that had occurred to him first. "How many people have you slept with in total?" There was a smattering of laughter, but Naruto, usually cheerful and gentle with all of his friends, was shooting out a look so venomous that it was clear that he would deal swiftly with anyone who dared to mock his lover. He pulled his hand away from Gaara's leg and turned the glare on the redhead, who, unaccustomed to any sort of rancor from the sweet-tempered young man, started in surprise and felt a rush of regret wash away his feeling of triumph that his own embarrassment would be well worth what Sasuke was going to have to go through now.

"Ask him something else." Naruto's voice was low and dangerous, and for the first time in a long time, Gaara considered what his life would be like if he lost the love of this person who had come to mean so much to him. The desolation was so strong, that had he not felt the reassuring pressure of Neji pressed against his side, his arm wrapped over his shoulders and holding him there, he would have been swept away by the strength of it.

"No, it's okay." Sasuke spoke up, his tone quiet and calm, and Naruto's eyes went wide and tender, turning back to face his lover in concern. Gaara had only thought to strike a blow against him, he hadn't thought that Naruto might jump to his defense, might turn against him so suddenly, and he wished he _had_ asked something else. Something dumb and irrelevant. The teddy bear question hadn't been that bad, really, and he'd just made the situation horribly worse than it had been before. "I don't care. It's not like anyone here has any false illusions about my past. And even if they did, I only care what you think, and you already know everything about me there is to know."

"Still…it's not something you should have to say." Naruto's face softened at the words, and Sasuke kissed him on the tip of his nose, smiling softly before peering around him at Gaara, a look of triumph on his face. Only then did Gaara realize that Sasuke knew what asking such a question meant, and how it had affected Naruto. No wonder it didn't bother him. He knew it was a victory against Gaara, and he'd give a lot to have such a victory. He wasn't going to give it up to maintain a false sense of modesty.

"I'm not entirely sure." He finally spoke to the group at large. "Somewhere between fifty and one hundred, I believe. If you want a concrete number, I'm sure my brother would be able to tell you, considering he kept a rather close video record of my…indiscretions. Is that a satisfactory answer?" It could not have been more obvious to Gaara that Sasuke was purposefully rubbing in the effect of the question, pushing a wedge more firmly between Naruto and the redhead. "Or would you like me to call Itachi up for something more definite?" Naruto made a soft, tortured noise, and Sasuke shot Gaara one last glare before turning his attention to the blond, kissing him and whispering assurances only Naruto could hear, Shino on their other side looking a bit uncomfortable as though he thought his proximity was invading on a private moment, and Gaara felt a lump form in his throat as he realized that there was very little he could think of that would make Naruto forgive him for bringing out the contentious relationship between himself and Sasuke in such a public and ruthless manner.

"Don't worry, he'll get over it." Neji breathed softly in his ear, and Gaara blinked in surprise to see that despite the likelihood that Neji felt at least slightly threatened by the affection between Naruto and Gaara, he was sensitive to his lover's concern and wanted for everything to work out, wanted for Gaara to have everything he could desire.

"You okay?" Sasuke asked Naruto, honestly wanting his lover to be happy despite his own feeling of triumph over the exchange that had just taken place.

"I think you should just take your turn." Sakura smiled brightly, and it bolstered Naruto's spirits somewhat, but he leaned against Sasuke rather pointedly, and there was a noticeable distance between Gaara and him even though they were sitting right next to each other. "It's no big deal, Naruto. We all did dumb things when we were younger."

"Yes, some of us more often than others." Kankurou, who was hard pressed to stay quiet during even the most tense scene, finally blurted out what he was thinking, and Temari reached around Kiba to smack him. "Geez…just saying."

"Go ahead, I'm fine, I just didn't really…expect…" Naruto didn't finish, but he didn't have to. Gaara felt a deep ache in his chest, and he wished he could turn back time and take back his words.

"Okay then," Sasuke, who had not been looking forward to what he considered a load of frivolity and a delay on his time alone with Naruto, was feeling extremely pleased with himself. He drew a name out of the bowl and couldn't stop the chuckle that bubbled up in him. "Neji."

"Oh man…I _wonder_ what he'll ask!" Kankurou had quite recovered from being smacked and was either attempting to get hit again, or was putting the same level of care into editing his comments as usual.

"Neji," Sasuke repeated the name, and he dismissed the idea of returning the question he'd just received, since it would effectively destroy the wedge that had just been created by Gaara, and that was the last thing he wanted. However, it wouldn't hurt to be a little bit snarky, and if he went too easy on the Hyuuga, it would likely draw suspicion. "How much lube do you and Gaara go through in a week?"

"Ugh, gross!" Kankurou flung himself back against the edge of the tub and rubbed at his eyes as though trying to wipe away horrible images. "That's fucking gross!"

"Why are you so homophobic?" Naruto turned on the eldest Sabaku in annoyance.

"It isn't homophobic! I don't want to know about how often my brother gets it on. He coulda asked Kiba the same question and it would have still been freaking gross." Kankurou argued.

"Stop bickering and let the man answer." Ino cut in, and Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"Of course you'd want to know all the gory details." He sighed heavily, and she shrugged, her blue eyes wide and innocent.

"I'm just trying to let the game continue peacefully." She assured her husband, who did not seem very convinced by this assertion.

"Not very much…like half an ounce or so." Neji answered, shrugging and showing false-bravado for Gaara's sake, because he was aware of how his lover was feeling at the moment. "We go without a lot."

"Agh!" Kankurou keeled over and ducked under the water, popping up after a while and rubbing his face. "Gross! Why don't you fucking tape it for me and post it on youtube while you're at it, it's not bad enough to have to hear you two going at it all hours, I have to know all this shit about your private shit…gross!"

"Maybe you should think about that when you're telling everyone all the details of your sex life." Temari pointed out. "Or when you're asking them extremely lewd questions."

"Ugh…my mind needs to be scrubbed." Kankurou writhed as though being tortured and Temari rolled her eyes.

"He'll be like this for a while, you might as well take your turn." She told Neji, noticing with concern that Gaara seemed more quiet and subdued than usual. Had that question really bothered him so much?

"Let's see," Neji pulled the bowl over, dropping a kiss on Gaara's head and pulling out the name before arching a dark brow at his neighbor. "Temari, I seem to have you." He showed her the slip of paper and thought for a moment. He didn't really want to ask anything about Kiba, because he was sure that it would only upset Gaara, and Kankurou was already writhing in agony at the details he had just learned about his brother's sex life. Besides, he had found that life was much easier with Temari on his side. "How much has Kankurou cost your family in legal fees and settlements?"

"Hey!" Kankurou recovered from his spasms of revulsion almost at once. "Like she just has it written down or something."

"I do…somewhere," Temari tapped her lips, ignoring the grumblings of her older brother. "If I had my Blackberry out here, I could look it up and calculate the exact amount…but off-hand I'd say about two million, seven-hundred eighty-five thousand…give or take a few thousand."

"Holy crap, Kankurou." Kiba, was rather surprised to hear the number and turned to his friend in alarm. "You should stop doing stupid shit."

"Ya think?" Kankurou countered, but as soon as he realized how this would sound, he settled back sullenly grumbling to himself about penny-pinching wise-ass bitches. Temari gave him a terse, unapologetic smile and pulled a name from the bowl.

"Shikamaru," she smiled at her friend wryly, and he met her smile warily. They sat in a moment of silent consideration before she spoke again. "Do you want any more kids?"

"No." he answered immediately, and then his eyes went wide and he turned to look at his extremely annoyed girlfriend. "I mean…maybe…not right now, but someday it would be okay to have one…two?" he considered the changes in expression his words caused, searching for the right answer and finally shrugging. "Ask Ino, she's in charge." He finally conceded, and at the sudden admission, Ino was surprised out of being angry. "Gimme the damn bowl." He demanded as Kankurou and Kiba laughed helplessly at his final answer. He pulled a name out quickly and turned on the subject. "Naruto," he barely paused to think, just wanting to send the attention to someone other than himself. "How many pictures of Sasuke do you own?"

"Um…I don't know." Naruto wasn't embarrassed by the question, but he was worried that if he admitted that he had more than he could count Sasuke would go through his albums and get rid of them, since he knew that Sasuke didn't like pictures of himself. They bothered him somehow, but he turned a blind eye to it most of the time since he was in love with a photographer, and he seemed to have come to terms with what that meant. "A lot…like…really a lot."

"Okay, how many of him do you have in your wallet?" Shikamaru amended, realizing when he thought of the stacks of albums, that it was very likely Naruto really had no way of knowing how many pictures he had of _any_ of them, especially not Sasuke.

"Three." Naruto was able to answer that much more easily, and he chuckled sheepishly, not that worried, since Sasuke knew the contents of his wallet in any case.

"How many naked pictures?" Ino asked, and everyone burst out laughing, but of course Naruto demurred and the bowl was passed to him. He laughed out loud as he saw the name he had drawn.

"Ino," he turned on the blonde woman, who felt a twinge of regret for her impulsive question. He eyed her shrewdly before giving her a sly grin. "What's the craziest thing you've ever done in bed?"

She blanched a moment, realizing that if she answered this truthfully, Shikamaru would be annoyed, since it was something from before they were together, and knowing she didn't have very many crazy things she'd done with Shikamaru to use as fake-out answers that would maintain her reputation as a demon in the sack. Even if she did tell them about something crazy that Shikamaru and she had done, she was still likely to earn his ire, and despite appearances, he was quite capable of cutting her off, and he was usually much better at it than her, because it took a lot to anger him, and he held onto the anger for longer.

"I think I'll take the dare," she grinned lasciviously and winked at Shikamaru, hoping to pass it off as her trying to keep their private lives private, something he was always nagging her to do anyway.

"Really? Um…" Naruto had to pause and think. He really hadn't expected Ino to turn down a chance to boast about her sexual prowess, but he thought carefully, ignoring Kankurou's none-too-subtle hisses of "tell her to show us her boobs" being aimed at him from the other side of the tub. "Well, I guess…I dare you to go a week without saying anything about sex to anyone here."

"I like that dare." Shikamaru smiled brightly, and Ino turned to him, offended.

"If I can't say anything about it, how will I ask you for it?" she pointed out to him, trying to get him on her side.

"Just climb on him and start humping." Kankurou suggested. "That usually gets the point across. Or you could just suck him off."

"You guys are assholes." She grumbled. "I'm taking three drinks, just because I think that is the _dumbest_ dare ever. Dares shouldn't last after the game is over!" she took her drinks and stuck her tongue out at Naruto, who was too busy laughing with everyone else at her lack of ability to meet the terms of the dare before he pulled the last slip out of the bowl.

"Sakura," he smiled at the pink-haired girl and she nodded warily. She hadn't really thought he had asked Ino anything too crazy, so she was secretly glad he had gotten her in the end. "When are Sai and you planning to have kids?"

"Naruto!" she flushed, feeling uncomfortable and looking around before seeing that no one seemed to think it was too much to ask, and even Sai was just blinking at her expectantly. "Well…actually, we…we decided we'll start trying now, so that we can have one as soon as possible, then maybe wait on another one or two until after med school and…and everything." She felt a twist of nerves in her stomach, and while everyone expressed enthusiasm, and Tenten told her how great it would be if they were pregnant together, and Ino told her how great she'd be…

She felt doubt…and she felt a sudden terror at the idea that maybe even then, she could be pregnant. After all, she'd stopped taking the pills nearly two weeks ago, in theory, it was possible.

_I don't think I'm ready…after all. But how can I tell Sai that, after I agreed?_

She saw how happy he looked, how warm and gentle, and she took a few deep breaths to steady herself, thinking that maybe if she spoke to Ino or Tenten…maybe they could help convince her that it was okay to have a child. They both seemed so enthusiastic, and Ino already had Aki, and Tenten was pregnant…so surely it wasn't as scary as she thought.

_It's just nerves. I'm still not used to the idea, but soon I will be._

That night, Sai was already in bed while she stood brushing her teeth and thinking all these things over. She reached into her packed knapsack and pulled out the pack of birth control pills she'd been working on when they had decided to start trying. She should have thrown it away. After all, if she had a child, it would be a long time before she needed the pill again.

She put it back in her bag, unable to calm the torrent of doubts in her mind.

----------

To be continued…


	7. Chapter 7

If I Fall

Chapter 7

----------

"Are you sure I should come along?" Suteru stood at his car door, looking hesitant and unsure, his grey eyes cloudy with emotion and doubt. "I'm sure you're sick of me being around you, and your friends will have missed you. I'll just be in the way."

"Suteru, you will not be in the way," Hinata's face melted easily into a smile, soft and gentle as moonlight. "Sakura would not have asked for us both to come over if she did not want us both to come over. They like you, I have told you many times. You have known them now for over a year, you should have more confidence in yourself."

"Funny, coming from you," he reached down, unable to resist the urge to tilt her chin up for a soft kiss. "To hear I am the one lacking confidence."

"Yes, well," she flushed and turned to go to her side of the car. "If you continue believing in me and I continue believing in you, certainly there is no limit to what we might eventually accomplish."

"I can't help that I feel an outsider." He admitted. "And you know that Kiba and I will never really…"

"I know," she climbed into the car with him and grabbed his hand, kissing his knuckles lightly. "I'm not asking you to force yourself to like him, and if you really do not want to go with me, it will be okay. I can see them by myself, and I will tell them you were tired, but they do like you, whatever you feel. Even Neji likes you, and he hates every man who comes within five yards of me on principle."

"He seems to get along with Kiba." Suteru pointed out as he started the car, and she giggled.

"You're seeing the aftermath. I think they declared truce after I left him, and Neji enjoys his alliance with Temari too much to ruin it by being petty with her boyfriend." She assured him. "Before that, Neji would relentlessly insult Kiba whenever they were in the same room together, even worse when I wasn't there to defend him. Now…I'm not sure he exactly likes Kiba, but now that Kiba is no longer dating me, he doesn't find it necessary to hate him intensely. And Gaara likes you because Neji does not complain about you not being good enough for me, which he would spend many long hours doing while I was with Kiba, even after we had broken up."

"Interesting." Suteru felt like he was growing to like Neji more and more, but he wasn't sure he could say why out loud without sounding petty and jealous. He dearly loved Hinata, and he would do anything for her, but it was very difficult watching her laugh and chat with the man she had almost borne a child to. Now that they were no longer separated, and they were trying to have a child, he felt like he would get over his old jealousies, but it could be a long time, and he was sure he would never feel completely at his ease watching them together. He knew how much she had loved him before, he remembered waking up to her crying, seeing that sad look in her eyes, and knowing that whatever he did, he couldn't seem to replace him or measure up to him in her estimation. It had taken her time to get over him, time to really open up to him, and now that they were finally in a house together, he felt like they were _really_ husband and wife, in a way that he had wanted for them to be for a long time.

He had told Hinata soon before they were married that he had actually influenced his parents, had actively sought for them to arrange a marriage with her. They had gone to high school together, and he had been dreadfully shy, but he had always watched her, had admired her, and had dreamed of the possibility of her one day being with him. He had lacked the courage to approach her directly, but when the arrangement was made, he had finally admitted to her how long he had cared for her, and she had apologetically admitted everything to him. From the beginning, their marriage had not been ideal, but he was determined to do everything he could for her, to make her as happy as he possibly could. And if she had decided that she couldn't be happy with him, he would have let her go. But now…now they were in love. It was a dream come true.

_And soon, we'll have a baby._

_I hope it looks like her._

His spirit bolstered, Suteru felt ready to spend the evening with her friends, even with Kiba, who made him feel inadequate without having to say anything. Even with Neji, who made him feel like he was in some sort of high-level state examination and had to be on his best behavior. But before they went in the house, he wrapped his arms around her for a deep kiss, enjoying the feel of her small body against his, the sound of her softly sighing contentedly, and the sweet taste of her lips on his, the way his body folded to meet hers so perfectly.

"I love you," he breathed, his lips brushing over hers as he barely pulled away, just enough to breathe, enough to speak, enough to drown in her quicksilver gaze. "I know I can do anything if you're there."

"I love you too, Suteru." She trailed cold fingertips over his face, a face so different from one she had memorized long ago, but no less beloved now than that had been then. "You are a very good man."

"Thanks," he was sure that one day he would believe he was actually good enough for her if she kept telling him that. She pressed another small kiss to his lips before turning and knocking on the door. She could hear a lot of movement inside and tried not to start laughing at the sound of Temari calling someone a lazy waste of space. She had a pretty good idea of who that might be aimed at.

"Hinata, Suteru!" Temari's scowl disappeared at once as she opened the door to see them. "You guys don't have to knock, you know," she assured them. "You can come right in, any time."

"Thank you, Temari, I didn't want to presume." She stepped inside with Suteru, and Temari hugged them both, to Suteru's clear surprise. "Have you been back long?"

"Not long, really. It's a bit hectic at the moment. Naruto's meant to be in charge of dinner, and Sakura was helping him, but no one can get him to settle down to it because Ino's parents brought Aki back, and he's more excited about her new room than I think she is." Temari rolled her eyes. "Then Sasuke was supposed to get him to come downstairs, but I think he had ulterior motives, and now he's storming around annoyed because Naruto would rather play with Aki than go do dirty things with him."

"Ah…well," Hinata flushed slightly and smiled up at Suteru. "Seems like not much has changed since I left. I could help with dinner, if you like."

"Yes, I suppose we should really give up hope of Naruto helping, he hasn't seen Aki for almost six weeks, so he was having serious separation anxiety." Temari smirked. "I don't know what he's going to do when school's out and he's traveling around working free-lance. He'll be lucky if he sees her twice a year then."

"At this point, I think he's still trying to come to terms with being separated from Sasuke for long stretches, I don't think he's gotten as far as what he'll do about his little Aki." Hinata smiled softly as they walked into the kitchen, and Suteru followed, seeing that Kiba, Chouji, and Sai were in the living room and not really wanting to go in there on his own.

"Did you want to help as well, Suteru?" Hinata blinked at him, as though it would be perfectly normal for him to run off and spend time alone with the others here, but he would always feel like these were her friends, and no matter how he liked them, and how nice they were, he would never feel like he really belonged.

"I take it we've given up waiting for Princess Aki to release Naruto to us for the evening?" Sakura was already working on some things in the kitchen, and Suteru felt thankful to be helping, and while he noticed that she didn't regard his arrival with any surprise, and even asked how he had been and treated him just as nicely as she treated Hinata, he thought that he still felt out of place.

_I think that when I'm with them, I think they are very nice, and I like them, but it is hard to think that they really see me as Hinata's husband, as anyone she even loves, considering how long they knew her and Kiba while they were together and even before then. I wonder if they are comparing how we look to how they looked, and whether we seem to fit together…_

He knew he shouldn't worry, but he couldn't help it. It would always be his greatest insecurity when it came to Hinata, and he knew that it would take years more for him to really feel comfortable around them without her there at his side. He liked them in theory, just knowing that they were important to Hinata made them seem like good people, but it was something he associated with a part of her life he was trying desperately to not be threatened by. He sometimes watched Temari, noticed how easily she seemed to be able to interact with Kiba and Hinata, and wondered how she had that kind of confidence he lacked.

"Suteru, why don't you go see if you can bring Naruto down here?" Temari suggested, her smile warm, but he knew as easily as if she had shooed him out that she was trying to get him to leave so she could speak with Hinata in private.

_I am an outsider, after all._

"Sure," he smiled and turned to go upstairs, and Hinata smiled after him before turning to start chopping vegetables that Sakura had laid out on the counter.

"So, how's the new place?" Temari didn't even bother to pretend to be helping, and instead leaned against the counter to speak to Hinata. "Are you getting along fine? He's pretty easy-going, so I can't imagine he's very hard to live with."

"He's very sweet, very considerate," Hinata couldn't say she was surprised to have Temari prying into her private life. After all, she always made it her business to know all of her friends' business. And perhaps…the happier Hinata was with Suteru, the more secure Temari must feel with Kiba. _No…that's horrible, she's not that insecure, I know. She's very strong and she only wants me to be happy._ "I am lucky to have him."

"I think he feels the same," Temari assured her. "You must be excited to be having a child. And I'm sure your father is ecstatic."

"I'm not having one yet, we're just trying." Hinata shrugged, feeling a bit uncomfortable. The loss of her first pregnancy was something that plagued her, and she had reason to be concerned. She remembered her mother, gentle and delicate as Hinata herself was now. She knew that while she hadn't died in childbirth, it had damaged her badly, and after Hanabi was born, it was clear that she wouldn't be able to make a third attempt to give her father the son he so desperately wanted. Hanabi had been very small still when her mother had finally expired, but Hinata remembered her, remembered the drained and stretched look that defined her last years, such a contrast from the pictures taken before, when Hiashi and she had first been married. She was afraid to tell Suteru all of this, concerned that if he knew, he would insist that it was too dangerous for her to have any children. Hinata wished she was stronger, like her sister and her father, but the loss of her first child seemed too strong an indication that she was her mother's daughter, and it was likely she would share the woman's fate. However…she wanted a child so much, she couldn't let her fear rule her. She had to try.

"Are you…are you worried?" Sakura turned from what she was doing, interested.

"Sai and Sakura are trying, too." Temari informed Hinata, and the quiet girl gasped in surprise as Sakura furrowed her brow at Temari. "Hey, Ino knows, it's not a secret. Don't give me that look."

"Truly?" Hinata asked, and Sakura nodded, looking a bit uncomfortable. "I would be happy if we could both have children, if we could have them grow up together and take comfort in friendship the way we have."

"Eh…thanks." Sakura flushed, frowning slightly. "I just meant, though…I mean, aren't you worried? About your future, about what you're going to do once it's here, and like…what if there are problems?"

"Women have been having children for centuries," Hinata told her as serenely as possible. "I should have no trouble doing so as well. And I know that Suteru and my father will be able to provide for us both if I am ill, until I'm well enough to return to work."

"Yeah, it'll be fine, you'll see." Temari nodded sharply, as though she were the pre-med and not Sakura. "She was really stressed out last time, it's not surprising something happened. But now she's happy and secure, so her body will be fine as well and so will the baby."

"Is it true that Tenten is pregnant?" Hinata asked, curious.

"Who told you?" Sakura made a face at Temari, who held up her hands to show her innocence.

"Kiba mentioned it," Hinata shrugged, trying to seem as casual as possible. She knew it was probably not something that Temari really liked to hear, that she spoke with Kiba more than many of the rest of her friends, but now…with what they had shared and what they knew about each other, it was impossible not to be close to him. She still loved him, in her own way, but she understood very well that was over and past, and she wished every happiness to Temari and him. "Ironically he also mentioned since Ino knew about this, it wasn't really a secret anymore."

"Yeah, well," Temari couldn't help flushing with pleasure to know that Kiba had reached the point where they sometimes sounded like each other. She had once thought she was strangely incapable of any sort of serious relationship, and he had shown her that she simply hadn't found the right man before. Kiba was the right one for her, and made her almost glad of all her other failures. "It's true. I'm surprised she didn't call up the papers."

"So then," Hinata smiled softly. "What about you, Temari?"

"M…me?" Temari acted as though she didn't know what Hinata was driving at, but it was obvious with what they'd been discussing. "I…I'm fine, everything's fine. Ready for classes to start, you know."

"I think she means, can we expect any baby dictators in the next few years?" Sakura teased, and Temari made such a face that all the girls dissolved in laughter. Hinata turned back to her work, happy to be among her friends.

----------

"Hey Suteru!" Naruto was probably one of the friendliest people Suteru had ever known, and though he felt slightly out of place with all of Hinata's friends, it was hard to remember to be awkward around him. "Say hi, Aki!"

"Aki!" the dark-haired child squealed in delight. She was receiving tons of attention from everyone, and she had Naruto all to herself, which was one of her favorite things.

"Eheh," Naruto laughed shortly and set down the blocks he'd been helping her construct into an amorphous tower. "She _can_ say hi, though. I think her name is her favorite word this week."

"Aki!" she repeated, clapping her hands and summarily knocking the tower over. Naruto laughed and they both started the building over again.

"So Hinata's here too, then?" he asked, glancing over at Suteru, who was torn between sitting down near them and standing separate in the doorway. "Is she headed upstairs, too? I bet Aki would love to see her. Wouldn't you love to see Aunt Hinata?"

"Nata!" she confirmed, and Naruto chuckled at her approximation.

"She's so smart, she learns new words every day, you know." Naruto informed Suteru, not waiting for an answer to his previous question, so proud was he of the little girl that all of the friends had helped to raise.

"Hinata's downstairs helping Temari and Sakura with dinner." Suteru suddenly remembered his task. "I was told to try and bring you down to help out."

"That's a fake-out, they want girl talk time, they were just getting you out of the way." Naruto informed him steadily. "Want to come help Aki build the highest tower ever?"

"No thanks…I think I'll wander down and see if they're done talking about whatever they talk about alone." Suteru managed a lopsided grin.

"Pretty much about you," Naruto gave him a broad smile and a wink. "Although I'd be willing to bet good money babies are playing a primary role this time, everyone's either pregnant or trying or…whatever."

"Hinata told me Tenten just found out." Suteru recalled and Naruto nodded happily.

"I'm just sad it'll only be a few months with a new baby in the house before school's out and we all move on…I'm so used to being around Aki, it'll be hard living alone, but I'm sure Sasuke's relieved I won't have anything to detract my attention." Naruto laughed a little harshly, and Suteru felt uncomfortable. Hinata had said that it was clear that while Naruto would love to adopt a child at some point, since he so loved being around children, it was also clear that Sasuke was basically tolerating this for Naruto's sake. Besides that, Suteru didn't have to be told it would be very difficult for a gay couple in Japan to adopt a child even if Naruto wore Sasuke down.

"Don't worry…we'll be sure to visit, and with all the other children that should be coming along, you'll probably have to have a room set aside for all of our kids to come stay with you at some point." Suteru knew this was probably weak consolation, but Naruto still smiled at him and looked genuinely pleased. Afraid of saying something stupid and making everything worse, he turned and left Naruto and Aki alone, passing Gaara in the hall on his way back down the stairs.

Gaara was very scary to Suteru, and while he had seen the surly looking man cuddle Aki, had seen him acting tenderly with Neji, had been exposed to him for years, he still recalled when Hinata and he started seeing each other after they separated, when Gaara had first spoken to him by himself. He had told Suteru in no uncertain terms that if he broke Hinata's heart after all she'd been through, Gaara would slice his balls off and feed them to him. He had never noticed any closeness between Gaara and Hinata, and they merely seemed friendly with each other, but he assumed that because Neji so valued his cousin's happiness, and Gaara seemed very devoted to Neji, this was the source of the threat. In any case, he had a feeling that every time he walked past Gaara, the redhead was going to pull out a knife and make good on his threat, despite the fact that as far as he knew, Hinata was perfectly happy. Unable to stop himself, he looked back to be sure he wasn't about to be assaulted, and saw Gaara standing in Aki's doorway.

_I should have guessed…he spends nearly as much time with Naruto as he does with Neji._

Gaara turned and shot him a glare so vicious he let out a sharp yelp and scurried down the stairs. Allowing himself a small smile, the redhead stepped into Aki's room, biting his lip nervously and trying not to notice the way that Naruto was pointedly ignoring him. Neji had told him to wait until Aki was back to try to speak to him, had pointed out that Naruto couldn't stay mad at him with the baby around, so here he was, desperate for Naruto to look at him with the honest happiness that was usually definitive of his expression instead of the shuttered distrust of the past few days.

"Gaara!" Aki abandoned her blocks and ran at him, arms outstretched. His was one of the names she could actually manage quite well, possibly because there were only two syllables, or possibly because he spent so much time around her. Either way, it was hard to resist those bright blue eyes in a chubby, happy face. "Up!" this was another word she had mastered quite early, and Gaara obliged her, bending down and scooping her up into his arms. As always, he recalled the first time he'd held her, when she was an infant, how afraid he had been, and now…now he found it hard to see what had caused him to fear something so sweet and good.

"She's getting big." Gaara bounced her gently, without really thinking about it. He was so used to holding her, to rocking her to sleep, to kissing her soft brow, to caring for her as though she was his own. "Her second birthday is next month."

"Gaara…" Naruto finally sighed after a long silence. "What do you want?"

"I want you to forgive me." Gaara was not big on subtlety, and he knew that Naruto appreciated his frankness. "I am sorry about what happened, I didn't mean to get carried away."

"Didn't you?" Naruto shook his head in frustration, standing up and brushing off his front needlessly, more to do something with his hands than anything else. "I try not to be bothered by the way Sasuke and you are always sniping at each other, I try not to let it get to me when I see you glaring at each other, but it's exhausting, and it drains me. I knew…I mean, we need to learn how to just be friends like other friends again. It was dumb of us to let things go this far, and all it does is pit Sasuke and you against each other. I know that it's not just me…I know you've hated him ever since Neji and him…and I mean, it was hard for me to deal with that, too, but Neji and I aren't always yanking you back and forth. I'm not happy with Sasuke, either, but it's like…he's my boyfriend, and if I have to take sides, that's where I'll go. I don't think we can be…like how we've been in the past. It makes things too complicated, and even though he acts like it doesn't, I know it makes Sasuke jealous, and I don't want to just…just because he thinks he owes me something, he'll let me do whatever, but I shouldn't abuse it like that."

"Naruto," Gaara felt his stomach drop through his feet, and he carefully set Aki down, afraid he'd drop her, he was shaking so badly. "I love you."

"I know, and I love you, too." Naruto stepped forward, reaching out before stopping and snatching his hand back, twisting his fingers together as if to stop himself from touching Gaara. "But it's not fair to Sasuke or Neji."

"Neji was the one who told me to come talk to you." Gaara refused to believe this was happening, that Naruto was shutting him out like this. "He knows how important you are to me, and he knows…knows I would never…"

"Gaara, calm down." Naruto shook his head and burrowed hands in his blonde hair, not sure how to handle this and not sure he wanted to. "It's not like I'm saying we can't be friends anymore, just not…not like that. No more kissing, no more sleeping together, no more anything you wouldn't do with everyone else in this house."

"But…" Gaara didn't know what to say, he wasn't used to fights like this, he hadn't dealt with someone wanting to leave him since two years ago with Neji. Stepping forward, he decided to go for broke, and wrapped his arms around Naruto, leaning in and pressing his lips against the other's mouth, despite the fact that Naruto had gone stiff and was trying to pull back. Gaara's grip tightened, and he moved one hand up to hold Naruto's head in place, but at that moment his resistance seemed to evaporate, and he let out a shuddering sigh. Instead of pushing away, his hands curled into soft fists, holding Gaara to him easily. Gaara relaxed his grip, moving his hand through Naruto's hair around to his cheekbone, and when he pulled away he frowned to see twin trails streaking his cheeks where tears had spilled over. "Don't cry. I don't want you to be sad."

"Why can't I…" Naruto sniffed and Gaara kissed his cheeks where the tears had fallen. "Why can't I refuse you?"

"You love me, too." Gaara assured him, nuzzling his neck and squeezing Naruto tightly just to reassure himself that the fight was over. "Who can you go to when Sasuke makes you sad?"

"What about when you're the one making me sad?" Naruto asked, fingers moving through hair so red it seemed like it couldn't be real.

"You have Sasuke for that," Gaara assured him. "You deserve everyone's love."

"So do you, you've been through things that no one—"

"Up!" Aki, who was apparently done with being a spectator, yanked at their legs with her chubby fists, and Naruto glanced down before laughing.

"Still," he eased away so he could pick her up, and Gaara released him easily this time. "I wish you two wouldn't always bicker.

"I'll try." Gaara wanted to scowl, but he was too happy. He leaned in and ruffled Aki's hair before stealing another kiss and Naruto starting laughing again. The sound was like balm to Gaara's soul.

He _would_ try, because in the end, he'd do nearly anything for Naruto.

----------

To be continued…


	8. Chapter 8

If I Fall

Chapter 8

----------

"Okay, this is seriously important!" Temari snapped, and Kiba immediately attempted to pretend he had not been laughing at Kankurou's suggestion of more creative uses of the baby-gates that were being put in all over the house now that Aki, who before this summer could only manage a very impressive crawl, was living in a house with two flights of stairs. "If you don't remember to lock the gate, Aki could _die!_ And there are other people here who are having…or going to have kids, and so you have to learn this stuff. And Kankurou, I would like to dream of a day when I could trust you around my children, so if you can't pay attention, I'm just going to get it over with and disown you now. Gaara is perfectly capable of understanding this, and I'm beginning to think I like Neji better than you."

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?" Ino asked, and Kiba, who didn't have anything in his mouth, still managed to choke and go a rather interesting shade of purple.

"Ino, some of use understand family planning." Temari responded coolly. "And I'm trying to protect _your_ child, so I'd appreciate a little support."

"Notice she didn't answer." Kankurou mock-whispered to Kiba, loud enough for everyone in the entryway suffering through the How-Baby-Gates-Work training to hear. "And dude, she's such a bitch anyway, you would _never_ know until she starts getting fat. Get out while you can or she'll marriage-trap you!"

"Did you just tell him to leave our sister pregnant and alone?" Gaara asked, and Kankurou, disarmed by the abnormally happy behavior of his younger brother that day, failed to see any warning signs and simply nodded. Gaara punched him in the gut and turned back to Temari while Kankurou keeled over and Tenten snickered despite herself. "Continue."

"Thank you, Gaara." Temari smiled brightly at her brother and patted her now pale boyfriend on the back reassuringly. "Anyway, as I was saying, if we're going to make this work, it's extremely important to always unlock and relock every gate you need to pass through. No climbing, vaulting, leaping, body-slamming, and certainly no bending people over for…well, you heard what Kankurou said. If we use them for their set purpose, they won't break, and nothing will result, and if we remember to always relock them when we pass through," she demonstrated on the gate at the foot of the stairs as she spoke, "then Aki can run around in a happy _safe_ environment. Now, as you've seen, we've baby-proofed as much as we could, and there are now covers over the electrical outlets. Since everyone but Kankurou has the intelligence of at least an eight-year-old, I'm going to assume you can function those, as well as the child-proof catches on the cupboards and the toilet."

"Hey," Kankurou had recovered sufficiently to offer his opinion again at this point. "If I puke all over the damn floor because of that fucking lock, you can clean it up. Drunk people shouldn't have to unlock toilets."

"It is for Aki's sake, we can all put up with a few extra seconds to do things safely." Sai opined, and Kankurou shook his head, ashamed of his former roommate.

"Man, monogamy's made you soft." He snorted. "Fine, then fucking Aki can clean it up!"

"Kankurou, the next time I hear you use the phrase 'fucking Aki' I will personally skin your dick with a teaspoon." Shikamaru advised the other man in a tight voice, and Ino backed him up by sticking her tongue out.

"Does everyone understand these gates?" Temari brought the conversation back around, and there was general assent. "Good, before you can go you all need to demonstrate proper gate usage. And if you want Aki in your room, you'll have to child-proof it, and get Ino and Shikamaru to clear it."

"We have to show we can snap a simple mechanism?" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Do you recall we're all college students?"

"Sorry, past his bedtime." Naruto apologized with a nervous giggle.

"That's code for he wants a damn BJ." Kankurou, clearly not bothered by Shikamaru's threat offered his opinion yet again.

"Can we just kick him out?" Neji asked, and Temari sighed heavily.

"Fine, fine, Sasuke, come on, just show me and go upstairs and get your beauty sleep…whatever." Temari snapped her fingers commandingly and he stepped forward, snapped the gate open and passed through, grumbling as he snapped it back so sharply it fell to the ground.

"Nice one, genius." Kiba couldn't resist, and Sasuke shot him such a glare he felt sure his face was melting before the Uchiha recovered the gate and went upstairs, muttering under his breath the whole while.

----------

"Morning!" Tenten was happily munching on toast when Sakura came down to breakfast a few days later. "Ready for the first day of classes?" she asked, and Sakura made an odd groaning noise, going straight for the coffee maker, surprised to see a pot already made. She fumbled open a nearby cupboard and poured herself a mug before shuffling over to the table and plopping down beside her.

"I'm so tired," she said, sipping at the dark liquid. "How can you be so happy without any coffee?"

"I've been off it a while now." Tenten shrugged. "I find a shower wakes me up really well, and I feel ready for my day, then."

"Sai and I stayed up way too late. I think we're both excited and it was kind of hard to sleep." Sakura shrugged. "Senior year…it's weird to think this is the end."

"Not for you," Tenten pointed out. "Aren't you going to med school like right after college?"

"Well…yes, of course," she paused, biting her lip. "Tenten, can I ask you something?"

"Sure!" Tenten nodded, licking crumbs off a fingertip and leaning back in her chair.

"What's the plan, with Shino and you?" she asked, staring into her coffee cup as her own insides twisted nervously. "Like, you're not far along and all…but still, I'm sure you guys have a plan."

"You mean with the baby?" Tenten was not shy about the subject, now that everyone knew anyway. It wasn't like she lived in a house with people that hated the idea of children. "Well, his family can more than afford to help us out, and my parents are really excited. Although…when we told his parents, his mother _subtly_ suggested that maybe I wasn't pregnant, and maybe I was trying to force him to marry me. His dad's loosened up a lot, but I don't think she and I will ever really get along. I'm sure you understand."

"Oh," Sakura blinked as she realized what Tenten was referring to. "Yes, well, I don't think a virgin saint would be good enough for Sai's mother."

"Think if he'd ended up with Ino," Tenten arched a brow and gave a wry smile. Sakura burst out laughing and then took another drink of her coffee. "Well, in any case, I've learned a lot about life here, as well as everything else, and I really do want kids, and I want them with Shino, and we figured…why wait? I think the biggest problem will be us agreeing to go to grad school at the same place so we can stay together. His father's getting us a nanny, but I don't want someone else raising my kid…mostly she'll be handy for times when we're both in class. But yeah, that certainly makes everything easier."

"What…what about if you guys didn't have the money to do something like that?" Sakura asked. "Do you think you would have waited a few years? Like…until one of you was totally out of school and working, at least."

"Are you worried?" Tenten leaned over, reaching out to touch Sakura's wrist as she cradled her coffee cup. "You shouldn't worry, Sakura. You know that you can rely on Sai, and even if you can't afford a live-in nanny, you'll have two sets of grandparents, not to mention tons of friends who would be happy to help out! Who knows where you'll be next year, you could be near us, near anyone living here, and you know we'd all want to be there for you. You shouldn't think that you have to choose between your life and your career. If you want a child, have one! And anyway…it could be a while before you become pregnant, it's not like one day you stop taking the pill and the next day you're battling morning sickness and wacky mood-swings."

"I'm not…not really worried." Sakura offered a weak grin. "I just can't help thinking about everything and over-thinking…you know. It's silly, I'm sure. I thought talking with you would make me feel better, and it has. Thanks!"

"Any time." Tenten shrugged, turning back to her plate and eyeing it in disappointment at its lack of toast before gulping down some orange juice. "Wonder who else has early classes."

"I'm betting everyone with sciences…so most of the house." Sakura gave her a sly grin. "Want to start a pool on how soon until Kankurou cuts class?"

"How will we know?" she asked, blinking in confusion.

"Temari will be yelling at him." Sakura told her. "You know she knows his schedule."

"She's not like that with Gaara," Tenten rolled her eyes. "Although if anyone needs a mom at college, it's Kankurou."

"So does Shino have—" Sakura cut off at a loud sound from out in the entryway, and after only a moment, she set down her coffee and rushed out to see what was going on. She immediately saw Sasuke crumpled at the foot of the stairs and letting out a low noise that sounded something between a growl and a groan of pain.

"Is he dead?" Tenten asked as she came out as well, seeing Sakura immediately rush to tend to her fallen comrade.

"No, he's just incapable of seeing anything in the morning." Sakura was prodding him experimentally to see if he could even be moved, but he sat up of his own volition, and despite being clad in only a pair of pajama pants, his hair even more unruly than usual, he shot her a look of such accusation she at first thought she must have somehow tripped him. However, that was clearly impossible, so she merely rolled her eyes. "Did you trip over the baby gate, Sasuke?"

"Not my fault." He grumbled, affecting a surly pout. "Someone put it right in the stairwell."

"Bastards," Sakura agreed dryly and then began checking his limbs for injuries. "I don't know if I can check barely-awake Sasuke for signs of concussion."

"Didn't land on my head." He responded, submitting to her examination with many dark looks and annoyed noises. "Ow, dammit!"

"Does this hurt?" she reached for his leg again and he swatted her hands away. "I'll take that as a yes. Fine, can you wiggle your toes for me?" After the look of excruciating pain which accompanied his attempt, Sakura turned to Tenten. "Can you call health services? I think he might have a fracture in his leg."

"Dammit, no I don't." Sasuke insisted. "I have shit to do."

"Okay, fine." Sakura gave him a blank look as Tenten scurried off. "Get up and go do them. I'm sure you know if it's broken or not. If it is, it must hurt like hell. Supposed to be one of the worst pains there is. If you feel fine, go ahead and get up, smarty."

"I fucking hate you." Sasuke answered her after a long pause.

"You are such a child sometimes." Sakura stood. "Here, prop it up on the stairs here…it'll hurt less if it's elevated. Let me get you some ice for the pain while we're waiting. And if you try to tell me it doesn't hurt, I'll kick you and see how you feel then."

"Nice bedside manner." Sasuke snapped at her, and she rolled her eyes as she walked back to the kitchen.

"Eat me." She called back at him. Sasuke tried to concentrate on anything besides the horrific pain while he waited for her to get back with the ice pack. He knew that if the rest of him was below the leg, it would help, so he laid down with his leg still awkwardly propped on the stairs and sighed heavily, trying to do a breathing exercise. Anything that could distract him from the pain in his leg was good. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying not to think about what it would mean to have a broken leg.

_Maybe it's just twisted or sprained._

He didn't really believe this. He'd had enough soccer injuries that he knew the difference between a twisted ligament and a broken bone. And that was another thing, if his leg was really broken, he could kiss this soccer season goodbye. And how would he do lab work if he was in a wheelchair, or on crutches? This was about the worst thing that could have happened, especially on the first day of his senior year. He wished Naruto was there to distract him from the pain, but he was still asleep upstairs, not having a class today until noon.

"Hey," Sasuke's eyes flashed open and he looked up at Gaara, who had evidently just stepped out of the shower. His hair was tousled and wet, his skin slightly flushed, and there was a towel wrapped around his hips as he peered down at the man laying at the foot of the stairs. "What's wrong with you?"

"Leave me alone." Sasuke gritted. He hated people seeing him when he wasn't at his best, and if there was one person he could have chosen as who he would least like to see him in this state…well, of everyone who lived in the house, it would be Gaara. He was still mildly irritated that Naruto had made up with him. Only _mildly_, because Naruto had clearly been quite depressed beforehand.

"You fell down the stairs?" Gaara smirked as he took in the gate that was knocked out of place below him and the thinly veiled discomfort on Sasuke's face. "Still haven't quite mastered those baby gates, huh?"

"Don't you have a class or something to go to?" Sasuke snarled. "Fuck off and mind your own damn business."

"I think I'll go upstairs and let Naruto know. He'd be worried." Gaara stepped around him, still clad only in the towel, clearly meaning to carry through with this threat. "It might take time to…comfort him."

"Don't fucking dare!" Sasuke heaved himself up in a maneuver that should have been impossible with his bad leg, but he lunged with the good one and tackled Gaara on the stairs, pinning him down and holding him as tightly as he could. "If you want to _talk_ to Naruto, go put some fucking clothes on first!" He was aware that his leg felt like it was on fire, that the nerves in that leg were screaming at him, but he could care less. Keeping dripping-wet half-naked Gaara away from his boyfriend who was in bed was clearly more important than protecting his leg. Despite that, he could feel sweat beading on his brow as the pain persisted. With the position he was in, blood was rushing to his leg, letting him know in no uncertain terms that he was seriously hurt.

"I thought you were hurt," Gaara arched a brow, knowing he could wrestle out of Sasuke's control if he wanted to but not sure he wanted to do anything without knowing the extent of Sasuke's injuries. If he made anything worse, he knew that Naruto would be upset, and he didn't want that, so soon after they had reconciled.

"He is," Sakura's voice caused Sasuke to stiffen and flush, almost as if he were a child caught doing something they shouldn't by a teacher or parent. "Dammit, Sasuke, that's not even your boyfriend. Can you get off him and lay down properly?"

"It wasn't…not like that…" Sasuke grumbled, rolling off Gaara and trying to figure out how to best maneuver himself without jarring his leg.

"What's wrong with him?" Gaara asked Sakura, who was holding the ice pack and looking extremely annoyed.

"It's his leg, I think it's broken." Sakura explained. "We need to elevate it and keep him from moving around too much. I had him positioned on the stairs until you…"

"I could carry him to the couch." Gaara suggested. "He could lift his leg on the armrest, and it would be more comfortable."

"No one is carrying me." Sasuke hissed his displeasure at the idea of this proposal. "Especially not him."

"Could you lift him without jarring the leg?" Sakura snapped her fingers. "Wait! Let's splint it, and then it would be easier."

"I _said_ no one's lifting me! I don't need to be on the couch. The stairs are fine." Sasuke attempted to pivot his body so that he could have his leg above and lay his head down below, and managed to jar his bad leg against the railing. He strangled the yelp of pain this brought, but still made a noise that sounded rather horrible.

"No one's listening to you, idiot." Gaara snorted as Sakura scurried back out of the entryway for something to make a splint out of. He pointed at Sasuke's left leg. "This one, right? Where's it hurt?" Sakura had left him the ice pack, which he was holding away from his bare chest.

"I can do it myself!" Sasuke snatched the ice pack away and pressed it to his leg. The relief it brought was minimal, but it was something, at least. He fixed his most vicious glare on Gaara. "Go put some clothes on. No one wants to see you lounging around half-naked."

"I'm sure Naruto wouldn't mind." Gaara assured him, and Sasuke clenched fingers down on the ice pack. "Besides, I don't need a shirt to carry you."

"Why would you even want to help me?" Sasuke glared at him. "You just want Naruto to hear that you helped. Otherwise he might think you pushed me down the stairs trying to break my neck."

"Sasuke," Gaara paused and his expression changed suddenly in a way that was hard for Sasuke to define. It looked…more open, somehow, less antagonistic, like he wasn't talking to Sasuke, but to someone else. Someone who he trusted, or liked. "Naruto is happiest when we get along. Don't you think he would want me to help you? It can be hard for me to remember to try and get along with you, but it is for his sake. You must see the way he closes off when we start in on each other in front of him. Wouldn't you rather he see us as allies, if not friends, so that he doesn't fear having to choose between us?"

"He would choose me." Sasuke told him sharply, not even thinking of the response until it was already out, but after a minute, let out a deep sigh. "I can't help it…wanting to attack you, verbally _or_ physically. I understand that Naruto cares about you, and I know…I know you aren't a threat to what I am to him, but I feel…I can't help feeling defensive, feeling jealous and wanting him to ignore you, wanting you to go away."

"I know." Gaara nodded solemnly. "I feel something similar. I am sure you know…" he hesitated, not sure he wanted to reveal something so personal, but this was the closest Sasuke and he had ever come to a serious discussion of their feelings for each other, and their feelings for Naruto, something they probably should have discussed two years ago. "I still remember…Neji and you." He couldn't finish, so he shook his head and rubbed at his hair in agitation until he was ready to speak again. "He told me that you didn't…didn't realize what he was trying to do. He told me that you felt nothing for him, and that your interests lie with Naruto even then…but I couldn't understand. Couldn't believe…and I couldn't trust you. I never have, since then. If you cared about Naruto, why were you doing…that with Neji? And why wouldn't you want Neji? He's so…"

"Naruto felt like that at first," Sasuke took pity on Gaara, knowing how hard it must be for him to discuss this seriously, knowing how it had plagued Naruto for so long, and imagining how much worse it would be if he still held onto that the way Gaara did. _Of course, Gaara was the one who saw us. Naruto just had to hear about it. No wonder he can't forget about it._ "I told him that I wanted to be with him, and he…he rejected me. I'd never been rejected before…not like that." Sasuke felt his instincts screaming at him not to confide in Gaara, but it was obvious to him, from what he already knew, that Gaara was being honest with him, and he owed the other man no less. Indeed, it was for Naruto's sake, in the end, that they should get along, that they should understand each other. "I was angry with Neji when I realized what he was doing…but at the time, when he came to me…I just thought I could forget Naruto if I was with him, and I really didn't know there was anything more than that going on, I didn't know about you and him. I thought he was serious…I'd never really been in what you might call a healthy relationship, I couldn't really tell the difference. I won't lie and say I wasn't attracted to him, either. He is probably one of the best looking men I've ever known, and he knows how to…well, anyway, it wasn't exactly torture, but it didn't really help me forget, and the whole time, I think I was angry at him, because at least to some degree I felt like he was using me, but at the same time, I thought…if I can just focus on this, I can get over Naruto." He let out a harsh laugh. "It sounds so stupid now. But then…it wasn't as if I had any real history with him, and I thought…well, the way he acted when I told him how I felt, what I wanted, I thought that Naruto really was just…not attracted to me, or to men at all, and I'd totally misread him."

At that moment, Sasuke noticed Sakura back in the hallway, holding some towels and a broom and looking at him in question, obviously able to tell that something important was going on there at the foot of the stairs and not wanting to interrupt, and he shook his head at her sharply so that she turned around to give them privacy, disappearing into the kitchen. Now that he had gone this far, he would rather just let this conversation happen. It had been a long time coming, and even though it grated on him to speak frankly about these things, he knew how much it meant to Naruto, and he could make the effort for that. Besides that, he didn't have any illusions that Gaara didn't already know a lot of what happened between them, since Naruto ended up at his side after most of their fights and disagreements, so it wasn't like most of this was news to him. It was just…he hated talking about his feelings so much, but he knew that Gaara clearly wasn't a fan of it, either, and if he could do it…so could Sasuke.

"Well…he was after Sakura then, I think." Gaara prompted hesitantly, trying to remember the situation three years ago from a broader perspective than what he was used to. Gaara wasn't one to pay close attention to the interplay between people around him, and only within his years at college had he really started to make the attempt to understand his friends. Before then…he hadn't really had any people he would call friends in any case.

"He told me later that he'd been confused, and surprised. He'd never even considered the possibility. He'd never had a girlfriend, never really been pursued by anyone of either sex that he knew of." Sasuke snorted and shook his head in disbelief. "It's hard to think that anyone could just ignore him…he tells me that he wasn't really…confident or sure of himself back then, so I guess I can see…I don't know, I still won't ever understand that, you know?" Gaara nodded emphatically, and Sasuke knew that indeed, this was one thing they could certainly agree on. That anyone should overlook Naruto…it seemed unfathomable. "And I have a hard time…seeing things going on…outside of my own little world, so I didn't really know that there was something…something between you two. I'm not exactly the most scrupulous guy, but if I had known…"

"There wasn't really anything…not then." Gaara cut in at that point. "Not really. Now…looking back on it, I see that he was trying to…to give me signals, to tell me he was interested, and when his subtler come-on's didn't get any results, he decided to try something more…obvious. I still don't think it was one of his better decisions, but I have to admit that it worked…eventually."

"Yeah, but I didn't have to get the shit kicked out of me by him before I could be with Naruto." Sasuke offered weakly, and Gaara let out a low chuckle. "Although…I'm sure he felt it was worth it."

"So he tells me." Gaara shrugged, shifting his position to try and keep the towel around him. This was about the most ridiculous situation in which to finally have this talk…him wearing almost nothing, Sasuke trying to ignore the pain in his freshly broken leg…and yet, it worked somehow. They both had a state of vulnerability about them that made dodging the truth seem pointless. "But…I think especially then, I felt better about things when you two wouldn't speak. I guess you were still pissed at him, and I don't think he thought it was worth it trying to be friends with you when it was just going to piss me off and make me suspicious of what was going on."

"And then Valentine's Day…" Sasuke pursed his lips and let out a deep sigh. "Kankurou knew just how to play us against each other…exactly how to push a wedge in. I think we thought we were more secure than we were, and after I thought…you know, I still think that even though you were friends and everything…I think if that hadn't happened, Naruto and you wouldn't have become as close as you are now."

"I know." Gaara nodded minutely. "He helped me get through that without killing anyone. I was so…so angry when I thought you two were...and with what happened after, I was there for him. And every time something would happen between you…he'd come to me, and I would just feel like…"

"Like I didn't deserve him? Like I kept fucking up?" Sasuke let out a rueful chuckle. "I felt that way for a long time. Sometimes even now…even with us staying together all these years…and I haven't screwed up badly in so long, but I keep thinking…why would he stay with me through all that? I don't know if I'll ever understand what he thought was worth all that."

"He loves you." Gaara answered quietly. "You could do anything, I think, and he'd eventually forgive you. That was what made me angry, thinking that you knew and that you were just doing whatever you wanted to, not giving a shit how it was affecting him."

"And it was like…everything I did wrong, it pushed him close to you…further away from me, and I started to think it was inevitable that he would leave me." Sasuke let out a shuddering breath as he realized how hard it was for him to actually admit his insecurities when it came to Gaara and Naruto. "I knew that you loved Neji, but I could see how easily Neji would screw up and get pushed out of the picture, and that would be that. Neji felt that way too, I think. I've never been able to understand how he could let you two get so close…right under his nose."

"He was afraid if he tried to stop it, I'd leave him." Gaara spoke again. "He told me…later. He says now he sees…sees it's different, sees that there's a difference in the way I feel and what I want. That day…sophomore year when he caught us together…I thought then that I'd really lost him, and it seemed ludicrous because I knew that even with what we felt for each other…I'd never be as important to him as you were, and I felt like I'd screwed everything up."

"It can't always be me." Sasuke joked weakly, and they smiled at each other, seeing for the first time what the other one felt, and thinking that maybe…even if they would never truly be good friends, they could learn to respect each other, and perhaps…even to like each other. Maybe someday.

He felt like he should say something else, to express this understanding somehow, but he wasn't sure it was something he could put into words quite now, and he hoped that this moment was enough. Gaara was not usually a big talker, so he thought that it was likely that they understood each other to some degree, understood that a point had been reached that was more than Naruto probably ever hoped for. Sasuke knew that if he was Naruto, he'd probably hug Gaara or something like that, but he was too reserved for that, and he thought it would seem forced and weird if he did.

Just then, there was a knock on the door as Health Services arrived, so he was spared trying to confirm the moment any more. As it was, Gaara loaned him a shoulder to help him out to the van, despite the fact that he was still only wearing a towel, and they were certainly attracting attention from the man who had come to bring Sasuke in for an exam as well as the few college students already out and about that morning.

"Can you tell Naruto…" Sasuke wasn't sure what he wanted to say as he was eased into the back of the van where they could keep his leg stable and stationary.

"I'll tell him you're okay," Gaara assured him, his face rather blank in contrast to how expressive it had seemed before, now that the Health Service employee was impatiently standing there, waiting for them to part ways.

_This is how he always looked at me before…I think he's learning to trust me. And I think…I think we're more alike than I wanted to realize._

"Thanks." Sasuke felt nervous, leaving Naruto in Gaara's care, but at the same time…he felt like this was something he needed to learn to do. He needed to return the trust that was being extended toward him if they were ever going to get over their past and learn to get along. Gaara nodded, seeing him off before turning and going back inside.

Sasuke realized as he was driven away that it wasn't as hard to trust Gaara as he thought it might be.

----------

To be continued…


	9. Chapter 9

If I Fall

Chapter 9

----------

"Well, you can either let me help you, or you can just sleep in the car." Naruto had waited in silence for about twenty minutes while Sasuke considered how he would negotiate getting out of the car, up the stairs to the porch, and most challenging of all, up the full set of stairs to their own bedroom. "I know you don't want anyone to look at you, but if the whole point is for you to get back to your life and not miss any more class, people _are_ going to see you."

"I know." Sasuke grumbled, but made no move even to unfasten his seat belt as he glared down at his plaster encased left leg as though it had somehow planned all of this, as though this were some bodily mutiny.

"We could have a sleepover in the car if you really don't feel like getting out right now," Naruto offered, unable to stop the smile tugging at his lips. He was glad that Sasuke was well enough to just be surly and treat this malady with the same derision he dismissed every illness or slight health problem that inconvenienced him. When Gaara had woken him up that morning before class to tell him that Sasuke had fallen down the stairs, that his leg was probably broken but that other than that he seemed fine, Naruto had been extremely worried and had gotten dressed hours before his own classes started to rush over and check on him. As soon as he heard Sasuke cursing at nurses and calling the doctor attending him rude names, he knew everything would be fine. Then, when he found out that Naruto was trying to get in and see him and the staff wouldn't allow him in, not being related to Sasuke, he went on another tirade, calling the hospital a closed-minded Dark Ages butcher shop. Finally, he had calmed down enough that Naruto could get the doctor to come explain everything to them. It seemed that it wasn't a bad break, and while it was through both his fibula and tibia, that was apparently still much easier to deal with than a femur break. Nonetheless, they had needed to give him a cast halfway up his thigh and all the way down to his foot, and had insisted he couldn't leave the hospital until he showed he could walk on crutches with it, and could navigate a bathroom on his own. After he nearly went sprawling a couple times, he had launched one of the crutches like a javelin on the next nurse to come check on him. Naruto had then rather blandly told him that it looked like he was going to at least spend the night there since he wasn't really able to work with the crutches, at which point Sasuke had redoubled his efforts, and a clearly relieved staff had released him a few hours later. Naruto wasn't sure whether they usually kept people with broken legs longer, but he wouldn't be surprised. He was quite sure that hospital had been glad to see the back of them.

Now, however, Sasuke was facing the unsavory prospect of having everyone in the house look at him and see rather obviously that he was hurt. Naruto knew he would try to go to class as long as he could manage it, and that he would try to do everything normally, but expected also that he would spend a lot of time hiding in his room. Even worse, Sasuke clearly knew on some level that he was not yet adept enough with the crutches to make it up all those stairs. That meant he would need help. Possibly, he would need to be carried. He was trying to think of a way to do this without needing help or having to be carried, and so far he hadn't even made it out of the car. Even that seemed daunting now that one leg was encased in plaster. It had been a while since his last dosage with the pain medication the doctor had prescribed, which he had decided he hated since it made him calm and happy for about ten to fifteen minutes, thus allowing people to do things like try to feed him pudding or tell him empathetic stories about when they or someone they knew had broken their leg. As soon as the drug-induced haze wore off, he was back to cursing and throwing things, but he hated the indignity of it all. He knew that Naruto had the pills, knew that with their help, he wouldn't mind being carried up the stairs and made much of. But thinking of giving in like that…it was too much.

Maybe he would just stay in the car until his leg was healed.

"So…" Naruto, slightly amused at the clear internal conflict, finally spoke up again. "Just so you know, I think everyone in the house can tell we're out here. Also, I think they all know about your leg." He pointed at the house and Sasuke turned to look, seeing that there were several faces visible in the living room window peering out at the car, and Sakura had just exited the house and was walking toward them. Sasuke groaned deeply.

"Hey guys," Sakura tapped on Sasuke's window, and he slouched down as though trying to disappear, a feat made rather admirable considering the bulk of his cast restricting his movement and blocking any hopes of escape. "Hey, did you need help getting back in the house at all? Only you've been out here at least half an hour. Gaara told me to tell you he can still carry you, Sasuke."

"No one will be carrying me _anywhere_." Sasuke growled and opened the door so quickly Sakura had to jump back to avoid being hit. He blinked, carefully considering his next move before he stepped out with his good leg, and grabbed the side of the car, pulled back sharply to launch his body out of the car. Mostly, he succeeded in getting his cast slammed against the door and stifling a yelp of pain rather unsuccessfully.

"Dammit, Sasuke," Sakura rolled her eyes as Naruto busied himself getting the crutches out of the back and running around to hand them to Sasuke, who was trying to extract his broken leg from the car's clutches. "You know, you'll have to go right back to the hospital if you crack the cast. And you _can_ do that, they're not made of tempered steel, just normal plaster."

"Shut up, I know what I'm doing." He hissed at her and she rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she watched him attempt to position his crutches while Naruto tried to help, much to his clear annoyance. "I can do it myself!" he snapped, and his boyfriend, clearly used to his foul temper at this point, seemed not at all concerned with the venom in his tone.

"Wow, Naruto, I think you accidentally switched Sasuke with a cranky three-year-old at the hospital." She watched as Sasuke made a rather careful business of ignoring them both and propelling himself toward the porch. "Has he done stairs before?"

"Nope." Naruto watched with mingled concern and amusement. "Also…he refuses to take his meds."

"Oh, don't worry about that. We'll mix them in his food. Remember the time Akamaru had to take that deworming stuff? Same thing." She assured him. Naruto chuckled, feeling nostalgic. Akamaru hadn't come back from Kiba's house this summer due to the fact that he was now far too large for the medium sized yard, and his family had a large property. They had decided it was better to let him run around, and Kiba had been fine with the decision, though Aki seemed to be confused about her missing playmate.

"I don't think he's going to make it." Naruto pursed his lips and headed forward to try and catch Sasuke if his increasingly aggressive attempts to clear the four stairs that led up to the porch resulted in another fall, just about the last thing the surly man needed at that point. "Sasuke, here, let me…"

"No, dammit!" Sasuke flailed at Naruto with one crutch, dropped it as he overbalanced, and then tottered precariously as he tried to recover with only one crutch without putting any weight on his bad leg. Snorting in disgust, Naruto finally gave up his patient support in favor of getting Sasuke safely in the house, and lunged forward, his shoulder knocking the wind out of Sasuke as he pulled him up in a fireman's carry, momentarily stunned as he was carried up the stairs, Sakura following with both crutches, since the lift had caused him to drop the other. The door was opened by Neji, who had several housemates around him, clearly wanting to verify Sasuke was alright, or possibly just wanting to watch him struggle to no avail as Naruto carried him inside with very little visible effort, despite the fact that Sasuke was no longer in shock and was now flailing, trying to escape.

"Sasuke, if he drops you, you'll just be hurt worse than you already are." Temari admonished as Naruto headed toward the stairs to take Sasuke up to their room.

"Why is _everyone_ here!?" Sasuke's face was scarlet with a mixture of rage and embarrassment. "Dammit! Put me _down_ right now, or I fucking swear to god, I'll skin your balls!"

"Bluff," Kankurou seemed to be vastly entertained by the events unfolding. "He'd never do it, he likes them too much."

"Naruto, did you need help?" Gaara offered. "I could knock him out. There is a place, if you hit sharply in the back of the neck, the person loses consciousness, but they are not seriously injured. Usually."

"Yeah, you seem to have caught some sort of giant rabid cat." Kiba opined. "Seriously, I've seen Sasuke throw some pretty hilarious hissy fits, but this tops them all."

"I'm going to kill _everyone_ in this room!" Sasuke could feel pain throbbing in his leg, could feel the humiliation and indignity of his situation, and the sense of betrayal at what Naruto was subjecting him to. He was standing still now, waiting for someone to unlock the baby gate that had been the cause of all this, but Sasuke felt like he was just being put on display. He was unspeakably angry, and he felt like he would never forgive Naruto for this. "Especially you!" he howled, redoubling his efforts to escape, pounding his fists on Naruto's back and flailing his good leg.

"He won't take his meds," Sakura offered as explanation, and he felt a surge of anger towards her as well.

"Naruto, why don't you just take him to our room?" Neji asked. "The stairs are going to be a pain for him for a while anyway, we could just trade until he's on his feet."

"Yes, that would be fine." Gaara agreed. "If that would help."

"Yeah, I don't think I can clear these with him going crazy. It's hard enough not to drop him." Naruto heaved a sigh and went around the stairs, letting Gaara open the door to let him into their room, and with a great sense of relief, he heaved Sasuke down on the bed before immediately leaping back, knowing Sasuke was probably not over his anger yet and not wanting to try and restrain him.

"Hey, get back here!" Sasuke howled as he left the room and closed the door behind him. He ached from carrying his lover, not necessarily from the weight, as much as from the hits he had landed. Broken leg or not, Sasuke wasn't someone to be ignored in a serious fight. "I'm not done with you yet, asshole!"

"Is it okay that I'm really annoyed at him right now?" he asked Gaara, who only smiled and gave him a hug and a quick kiss.

"You are a very good man," Gaara assured him with a soft, secret smile. "Better than he deserves."

"Hey, before you two start getting all gushy, can you give me Sasuke's meds?" Sakura was still holding the crutches, which she thrust forward for Naruto to take, now that his arms were no longer occupied with Sasuke. "I figured I could grind them in some mustard and make him a sandwich."

"That seems complicated." Gaara frowned. "Can't we just mush them into ice cream? He loves ice cream."

"He'll be suspicious. He knows I want him to take his pills," Naruto nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, let's try the sandwich. I think I have them here…" he dug through his pockets before producing a small pill bottle, which Kankurou snatched away before Sakura could accept it.

"Whoa," Kankurou read the prescription on the bottle before smiling broadly at Naruto. "I'll give you three hundred bucks for this." He shook the bottle and tried to look as appealing as possible, but Temari barged over, snatching the bottle out of his hand and handing it to Sakura, who proceeded to the kitchen as if this sort of thing was always happening, while Temari smacked her brother upside the head. "What? Fine, I'll give him four if that makes it better."

"I'm seriously starting to believe that your life is just going to be a montage of failure and criminal activity no matter what I do." She scolded him sharply. "Keep away from those meds. You don't need prescription strength painkillers, and if I catch you stealing them, I'll make sure you _do_ need them."

"Like what's that supposed to mean?" Kankurou snorted with false bravado.

"I believe she means she will injure you grievously." Sai offered helpfully, raising his hand slightly as though he were in class. Naruto smiled, feeling all of his irritation evaporating, and Gaara offered him a small smile of encouragement.

"We can help out taking care of Sasuke, you know," Ino offered, but her friendly smile soon became lascivious. "I could give him sponge baths…"

"Damn, can't you keep your wife on a leash, Shikamaru?" Kiba laughed despite himself and Shikamaru arched a brow at him wryly.

"Oh, I'm sorry I don't have her under the level of constant control that Temari has you." He offered a mock apology, and Temari scowled, but Ino just started laughing and patted her husband on the back in approval.

"Thanks guys," Naruto decided to take the offer at its spirit, not the letter of it. "Any help would be great, although he's not going to want it, so we'll all have to kind of…accidentally help him, or just not notice…or whatever. It's hard to explain, but there's a certain way I handle it when he's sick, and I'm pretty sure this is going to be the same sort of thing, except it's like six weeks instead of a few days."

"Just tell us what you need, we can help with anything." Temari nodded sharply. "Right everyone? Although I know we've all learned a valuable lesson from this accident! Proper use of the baby gates is key to the safety not just of Aki, but of everyone in the house!"

"Damn, you can turn anything into a lecture about how your rules make the world better." Kankurou grumbled. "Ooh, if you have sex on the roof you could break your legs, so that's why I said don't do it. Total drag."

"I have to see this part of the roof everyone keeps having sex on." Sai tapped his chin. "It is intriguing…dangerous, yet very intriguing."

"I could—" Ino was cut off by her husband as soon as she opened her mouth.

"No."

----------

After his sandwich, Sasuke was surly for approximately twenty minutes. Naruto waited patiently from the opposite side of the room, eating his own, medication free sandwich. Of course, despite the fact that it was meal time and Naruto was eating as well, Sasuke had suspected the sandwich, and had taken it apart, sniffing at the insides before scowling across the room to show Naruto he was still annoyed at being tossed over his shoulder in front of everyone. And on top of that, the added insult of having to stay in Gaara and Neji's room…it was unbearable! Could he not even have the comfort of his own bedroom? He was forced to accept help from that red-headed coveter and his stupid slut of a boyfriend.

He was quite sure that none of his opinions were at all based on his current foul temper.

However, finding nothing wrong with it, he had reassembled and eaten the sandwich, although he had flatly refused to drink anything, somehow sure that his drink would be drugged. Clearly his suspicions were not too badly misplaced, because after a while, he began to forget why he so desperately hated Naruto, and indeed began to forget even why he so hated Gaara and Neji and everyone else in this house.

"Are you sure you don't want some water or something?" Naruto had taken to asking Sasuke questions every so often. When the response was either indignant silence or a sarcastic attack on his intelligence, he knew that the painkiller hadn't taken effect yet. However, this time it was different.

"Maybe…that could be okay." He shrugged. This might not have been exactly slap-happy behavior, but compared with how he'd been acting thirty minutes ago, Naruto knew the medication was finally kicking in.

"How do you feel?" he asked, standing and carefully walking over to retrieve the empty plate as well as deposit the glass of water he'd brought in earlier, aware that perhaps when he came to close, Sasuke would just throw something at him. He hadn't attacked Naruto at all at the hospital. But at the hospital, Naruto hadn't carried him…so he understood Sasuke was feeling some wounded pride at the moment, and was patient enough to wait it out. "Is your leg hurting?" he pressed cautiously as soon as he had the plate in his own hands.

"A little, yeah." Sasuke frowned at it, showing the shadow of his previous anger and indignation.

"The doctor said we should prop it up on pillows. Would you like it if I…" Naruto set the plate aside and grabbed one of the pillows that had been thrown off the bed in Sasuke's initial rage at being dumped unceremoniously in Neji and Gaara's bed. "I could put it up a bit."

"Thanks." Sasuke offered after a pause, and Naruto knew now for sure that Sasuke was feeling only the slightest pain, so after he had propped up the broken leg, he leaned over rather bravely and was rewarded with a soft kiss.

"I'll just take our dishes back to the kitchen." Naruto smiled at him, glad that even if he wasn't quite acting normal, he at least wasn't being throwing any fits anytime soon. He picked up the plates, blinked in surprise as Sasuke smiled at him, and left the room. Outside the door, Gaara was pacing nervously, and Neji was naturally sitting to one side, watching his lover patiently, knowing that as long as Gaara worried about Naruto, he'd have no peace.

"Did he…how was it?" Gaara had been opposed to Naruto eating alone with Sasuke, but Naruto had reminded them of the very few occasions previously when Sasuke had been ill enough to need bed-rest, and how the more people around him, the angrier he had become, insisting that no matter how angry he became, Sasuke would never actually hurt him, and that everything would be safer this way.

"Those pills are a miracle." Naruto let out a low chuckle, and Neji stood, taking the plates away to the kitchen while Naruto and Gaara spoke. "I only wish I could keep him medicated until he gets the cast off, but I know he's really only supposed to have them for the next few days, until the pain dies down. After that…well, he should be less annoyed once he starts to be good with the crutches and his leg bothers him less."

"How are you guys going to have sex with that cast?" Gaara asked, and Naruto blinked, flushing slightly. He hadn't really thought of that, but now that he considered it, six weeks without sex was something that would probably make Sasuke even more high-strung than he'd been that day on the way home from the hospital.

"I hadn't really thought…" Naruto frowned, thinking about it. "I guess if he's on bottom…should work fine."

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Neji had returned for the last part of the conversation. "It shouldn't be that much of an obstacle. And anyway, we all know a sexually frustrated Sasuke is something terrifying enough to make a little effort to avoid."

"I wanted to thank you guys for letting us use your room." Naruto was a little embarrassed by the subject matter, although he supposed he should be used to the utterly matter-of-fact way in which Neji and Gaara discussed such things by this point. "It makes things a lot easier for Sasuke."

"It was Gaara's idea," Neji admitted. "He asked me before you got back if I would mind. I'm sure Shino and Tenten would have done the same…although the bugs might have been in danger with him. Please do not let him throw my books."

"Okay…well the bookshelf isn't close enough for him to reach, I'm sure he'll be good." Naruto shrugged and smiled, attempting to hide his surprise that Gaara would suggest something that, while it was indirectly helping him, was mainly helping Sasuke, for whom he normally went out of his way to make life difficult. "That's really good of you, both. Thanks, Gaara." He couldn't help wanting to kiss the redhead for his thoughtfulness, and he knew Neji didn't mind, so he went ahead. Gaara's cheeks tinged slightly with his pleasure, but the real delight could be read in his eyes, always his most expressive feature when he let anything show. "As long as I can keep him dosed, he should be fine for the rest of the day, so if you need anything, you can come right in."

"You'll be with him." Gaara responded. It was a statement, not a question. "I may stop in."

"Not too long," Neji stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Gaara's waist. It wasn't necessarily a possessive gesture, or a response to the kiss he'd seen, and Gaara accepted the embrace easily. "If Sasuke and you start fighting, we'll have to double his dosage."

"We won't fight." Gaara told him with a level of assurance that Naruto wished was based on something more than Gaara's desire to please him. "I will behave."

"Thanks, both of you." Naruto dropped another kiss on Gaara's lips, and not really thinking of it before it happened, kissed Neji as well. It was odd to have to go on tiptoe like that, and he became very self-conscious of the gesture as soon as it was completed, flushing and feeling foolish. "I'll just…see you later." Naruto disappeared back into their room, and Neji, also slightly surprised, blinked down at his lover.

"Naruto kissed me." He pointed out, and Gaara smiled wide and satisfied, looking hungry and sated all at once. Neji thought that was possibly the sexiest smile he'd ever seen.

"I saw that." Gaara assured him, and Neji shuddered slightly.

"It didn't bother you?" Neji couldn't help asking.

"Nope." Gaara assured him, turning in his arms and backing him up against the wall so Neji could feel just how un-bothered he was.

"Not that it was a big kiss or anything. Not like him throwing his arms around me and getting tongue into it or anything." Neji spoke a little hesitantly. He had experienced Gaara's jealousy before, and it had been painful both emotionally and physically. "Not like you two."

"Mmm," Gaara ground against him and licked a hot line over the tendon in Neji's neck.

"You know…if anything like that was ever going to happen, it would cause problems." Neji was fine with a turned on Gaara, but he wanted to be clear on his feelings toward this particular fantasy he had uncovered. "And you'd never get Sasuke's permission."

"Sasuke's on massive pain medication." Gaara breathed against Neji's jaw, moving to suck at his pulse point and slipping one hand under Neji's shirt.

"And as soon as he's off it…he'd kill us both." Neji was trying to concentrate on pushing Gaara away enough that they could get up the stairs and make use of their temporary bed, but Gaara seemed rather happy to keep going right here.

"He'd be there, too." Gaara assured Neji who gasped and was able to master his impulses partially with the help of this shock.

"Since when did you want anything to do with Sasuke?" Neji asked, baffled by Gaara's sudden attitude shift.

"We had a talk." Gaara answered shortly. "We understand each other."

"Well…whatever," Neji slipped past Gaara, towards the foot of the stairs, causing his lover to come after him in pursuit. "It's not ever going to happen. Trust me, the problems…it wouldn't be worth it."

"It would be hot." Gaara told him rather calmly, and Neji grabbed his wrist, pulling him in and kissing him hard, nearly dragging him upstairs.

It might just be talk, but it didn't make things less exciting that the bed they tumbled into smelled of Sasuke and Naruto.

Neji made a mental note to _really_ kiss Naruto next time, if this was the reaction a peck inspired. He'd have to hurry up, though. Sasuke wasn't going to be bed-ridden forever.

----------

To be continued…


	10. Chapter 10

If I Fall

Chapter 10

----------

"Fucking dirty son of a bitch door!" Sasuke cursed as he scraped his elbow and caught a crutch up while entering the house after classes one week later. Naruto was in the kitchen dishing up ice cream for him in anticipation of his return from his lab. There were no more painkillers, so he was basically trying to keep the Sasuke Rage under control by giving him whatever he wanted and trying to anticipate all his needs and desires.

"Here, I can help with that," Temari was in the kitchen, watching as Naruto tried to balance the bowl in one hand while putting away the ice cream carton and all the toppings. "Take the sacrifice to appease the rage-aholic."

"Thanks a bunch." Naruto flashed her a smile, started out of the kitchen, turned and blinked in surprise as she handed him the spoon he'd been returning for. "Thanks again."

"Just go, before he teaches Aki things that I don't ever want to admit she learned under my roof." Temari sighed, knowing it was likely too late for that and proceeding to put away what was left, tossing the dirty scoop in the sink and then going back on second thought to wash it and put it away, just in case Naruto had a sudden need to offer more ice cream to Sasuke. Gaara and Neji had been doing a lot of extra shopping and running errands, and between them and Naruto, usually Sasuke was driven everywhere he needed to go that was off campus, but he was still extremely surly. He seemed to be insulted just by the fact that people could see his cast.

It probably didn't help that while he'd been sleeping in an armchair, Kankurou had written various obscenities and drawn graphic representations of his phrases all over the cast. The next day, Sasuke had refused to leave the house until it could be covered up. Eventually, this was accomplished by Naruto, Sakura, Neji, and a lot of markers. The cast now appeared to be black, and Sasuke tried to chase Kankurou down to beat him senseless with a crutch every time her older brother was too foolish to hear him coming and hide.

Other than the uproar over Sasuke, and Sasuke's uproar over _that_, the first week of classes had gone well, Temari thought. As far as she knew, Kankurou had only skipped one lecture. She was pretending not to notice to see if he would correct this behavior on his own or if she would have to hire him an escort to make sure he was strong-armed into attending his classes. Her own classes were going well, and everyone in the house, with the exception of Sasuke, seemed to genuinely be happy and excited to be entering their senior year. Sasuke probably would have shared the sentiment, except he was too busy hating his leg and hating everyone for noticing it. Every door held open on his account made him angry. Every pedestrian that moved out of his way increased his ire even more. Every understanding professor that told him he could have extensions on his assignments, who tried to share stories of when they had been injured or ill in college to express empathy…most likely they thought they were helping, but they were making him more and more annoyed. Temari was seriously wondering if he would make it until the cast was removed and his bones healed before he got in a serious physical fight with someone and made it worse.

He seemed to be okay with certain favors, like being driven around or being fed anything he might want, but it was clear he was still annoyed that he was borrowing Neji and Gaara's room from them. And despite her distaste when it was suggested that Sasuke could use a jug to relieve himself to avoid having to go to the bathroom too often, Sasuke insisted on only using the toilet, refused to use a stool in the shower from what she understood of Naruto's exhausted commiserations, meaning he needed to be almost physically held up to wash himself. However, he somehow viewed this as a lesser indignity than installing a shower stool. He was getting quite good with the crutches, but he still crashed into things and had trouble on stairs, and the baby-proofing measures on the toilet and cupboards had also proven to be effective Sasuke-proofing methods, as he needed someone's help to get into these restricted places so that he didn't fall. This was discovered after his first solo trip to the bathroom. Naruto was his main nurse, but she had noticed Sakura helping him, as well as Neji and Gaara.

The last one surprised her. There had never been any love lost between Sasuke and Gaara, and they had never really made an attempt to set aside their enmity for Naruto's sake, so it seemed rather strange that they were suddenly friends. When she asked him, he shrugged, and when she persisted, asking Neji, who she was quite sure told Neji absolutely everything he thought and felt at any given time, Neji told her he wasn't quite sure what had happened, but that they had apparently talked right before or around the time Sasuke broke his leg, and they seemed to have reached some accord. Gaara was doing an amazing job of maintaining this peace despite the fact that in his current state, he tried even Naruto's patience. However, this was only one week in. She would be surprised if this truce could weather the entirety of Sasuke's recovery.

"Papa!" the happy chortle of Aki shook Temari from her speculation, and she stepped out of the kitchen, peering into the living room just to be sure she wasn't on her way to visit Sasuke, who was likely to attack even her in his state. Standing in the entry to the living room, she froze. There was Aki, and of course she could see Shikamaru, as she'd expected from the name she had heard. But as he picked her up and bounced her in his lap, he leaned over, deep in discussion with an extremely pretty blonde girl, her hair pulled back over one shoulder in a concerted cascade, her eyes bright and interested as she nodded with interest at whatever Shikamaru was saying. She laughed at something and reached forward, ruffling Aki's hair, to the baby's delight. The two young adults seemed completely engrossed in each other, and Shikamaru didn't even notice Temari standing twenty feet away.

"Hey, Temari," Ino's voice caused Temari to jump in surprise, as though _she'd _been somehow doing something wrong. "I know I have dinner tonight, but I think we should order pizza. I have a lab report to work on and I don't want to be up all night."

"Oh…that's fine." Temari told her, flushing and suddenly realizing what she was thinking, why it made her feel guilty, and immediately composing herself. "Who's…ah, that girl?" she asked, deciding it was better to be forward than complicit in whatever it was Shikamaru was doing.

"Probably some first year." Ino peered into the living room, not looking concerned or threatened by the tableau her husband, child, and the very pretty girl made for her. "Shikamaru's tutoring to earn extra cash."

"Don't you usually go to the library for tutoring?" Temari frowned, still suspicious of this interloper.

"Well, I asked him to watch Aki so I could make dinner." Ino shrugged, still seeming entirely unconcerned. "Except then I remembered I had lots of homework, like I was saying, so…"

"Don't you think she looks…" Temari wasn't sure she wanted to spark suspicion, but she patently distrusted the girl in the living room, and she didn't really have the claim to express that. It was Ino's place. "Well…I mean, you could be her older sister."

"What?" Ino started at this and looked back at the girl speculatively, watching as she pointed to a passage in a book, and Shikamaru set Aki down to get a closer look. "Hmm." She pushed up her sleeves, patted her hair, and walked purposefully into the living room.

"Hey," Shikamaru glanced up at her as she entered. "You want Aki?"

"No, I have a lab report to work up still." Ino gave Shikamaru a brittle smile and turned it on the girl. "Hello, there." He blinked at her before realizing she was asking to be introduced, and proceeded.

"Ino, this is Shiori, Shiori, this is Ino." He gestured dismissively between them, seeming a bit annoyed.

"His _wife_, you know." Ino clarified, arching an eyebrow. "How are you liking college, Shiori?"

"It's nice, so far." She smiled brightly. "Shikamaru didn't tell me he was married!"

"Oh, didn't he?" Ino bent down to pat Aki's head. "This is our child."

"Yes, he said that was his daughter." Shiori nodded at once. "She's such a darling, isn't she? Looks just like him."

"Eh, I doubt that." Shikamaru snorted, feeling uncomfortable as he was unable to place exactly what was going on here, but starting to have his suspicions. "It's on the hair. She looks more like her mom. Don't you?" he sought refuge in his daughter, picking her up and peppering her face with kisses, while she giggled at the attention, clearly pleased.

"How old are you now, Shiori?" Ino asked. "Sixteen?"

"Of course not! I'm not a prodigy or anything." She flushed. "I'm eighteen."

"Legal, huh?" Ino asked, and Shikamaru let out a low groan as everything was made clear to him. "Well, just keep in mind you're still young, sweetie. You have a lot to learn."

"I know!" Shiori was either playing this beautifully, or was completely oblivious to what Ino was talking about. "I'm hoping Shikamaru will teach me everything he can."

"I just bet you are." Ino scowled at Shiori before reaching down, pulling Shikamaru's head back by his hair and kissing him hard, and issuing one last glare at the girl before storming out of the room.

"Sorry…she's like that." Shikamaru didn't know what else to say. He set down Aki and picked up the book.

"Wow, that was amazing." Temari commented out in the hallway, following Ino towards the stairs. "Where's the part where you spray him and plant a flag in him so she knows he's your property?"

"Hey, you pointed it out." Ino reminded her sharply. "That little…thinks she's so sweet and clever. Little bitch can think again if she's after _my_ husband."

"You know…you're a lot like Sasuke." Temari realized suddenly who the display had reminded her of.

"What?" Ino scowled at her. "Whatever, I'm going to work on my report. You order some pizza, okay?" And without waiting for an answer or offering to pay, Ino headed up the stairs. Temari sighed, wondering whether it had been smart of her to point Shiori out. Maybe next time she'd keep her clever ideas to herself.

----------

"Pizza, hell yes!" Kankurou pumped his fists and did a little victory dance as he came into the kitchen and saw dinner waiting for him, steaming and fresh. "Thanks Temari!" he beamed at his sister, who was sitting at the table beside one of the open boxes, textbooks open as she scribbled down notes.

"It was _my_ idea." Ino was leaning into the fridge to grab a soda.

"Yeah, but I had to pay for it." Temari pointed out dryly and Ino shrugged as if this really had nothing to do with who should get credit.

"Man, Ino, did you see that fucking ten that Shikamaru brought home earlier?" Kankurou redirected his attention as he ate his slice of pizza in the middle of the dining room without any plate or napkin, despite the angry tutting noise Temari was making. "I mean, you realize he's gotta be tapping that, right? She's like hotter than you were even before you got all pregnant and shit."

"Kankurou, shut up." Temari threw a used napkin at the back of his head. "And get a damn plate. You weren't raised in a barn."

"Hey guys…oooh, pizza!" Chouji did a funny little dance of joy as he spotted the open boxes and helped himself to two pieces before frowning and putting one back.

"You can have two, it's okay." Temari assured him. "Most everyone's been through here already."

"Oh good, dinner…" Naruto rushed in just then, grabbed a plate and loaded it up with a few pieces before giving a long-suffering smile and rushing back out to feed his surly lover. "Thanks!"

"Yeah, that only leaves you." Temari mentally checked the boys off her list of people who needed to eat. "Help yourself."

"I…no, this is enough." Chouji gave her a cheerful grin and looked at the pizza longingly before leaving the room again.

"He's on a diet." Kankurou explained as the husky man disappeared.

"But why?" Ino would rather talk about any subject than discuss how sexy Shiori was, and what Shikamaru might or might not be doing with her in his tutoring sessions. "Chouji loves food. And he's not…not like that big."

"That is a little weird," Temari shrugged. "But he is a bit overweight. Maybe he's just concerned about his health. Or _maybe_," and here she gave Kankurou a look that would have melted paint. "_Someone's_ been saying things that are mean and hurtful to him. Do you know about anything like that, Kankurou?"

"Nope, don't know anything about that sort of thing." Kankurou shrugged as innocently as possible. "So…if Shikamaru isn't fucking that girl, you think I could get in on that? She's fucking hot as hell."

"Goddammit, Kankurou!" Ino crushed her half-empty soda in her hand, splashy sticky liquid over her hand. "Mind your own damn business! And anyway, Shikamaru would _never_ ever cheat on me. We're married, and he has the baby to think of. And she is _not_ hotter than I ever was, I'll tell you that right now."

"Hey, don't feel sad," Kankurou offered her a lopsided grin. "You can get revenge on him. I'll fuck you right now. We can tape it. That'll show him."

"You…you…" Ino threw her soda at him and stormed out. Kankurou blinked down at the liquid that had gotten on his shirt and pants before shrugging and finishing off his slice of pizza. He grabbed another one.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Temari asked, astounded.

"Whuh?" he asked, mouth full of pizza. She got up to clean up the soda, not really blaming Ino for throwing it. After all, no one was made of stone. As she was tossing the can away and pulling out another paper towel, Gaara and Neji came in carrying a bag of groceries. She let them by, noticing they mostly seemed to have ice cream.

"Sasuke supply run?" she asked, arching a brow as she bent down to clean up the last of the mess.

"What happened in here?" Neji asked, and she gave Kankurou a meaningful look as he went on eating obliviously. "Oh, I see. Yes, wouldn't want the Prince of Pouting to run out of ice cream and what have you."

"You guys have been really helpful." She told them both, and Gaara shrugged as Neji folded up the paper bag to put in the recycling. "I'm sure Naruto really appreciates it, and even if he isn't exactly at his top level of gratitude…I'm sure Sasuke does as well."

"It's no trouble." Gaara was always a bit uncomfortable with praise, and Neji and he escaped in the hall so they could go tell Naruto that they'd gotten what he'd asked for. Neji knocked, not because he was worried about seeing anything, but because he didn't want to be hit in the head by whatever Sasuke could find.

"Hey, we're back." He spoke against the door, and it swung open, revealing a strained looking Naruto. In the background, they could hear Sasuke grumbling about something or other. "We got what you asked for."

"Oh, thanks! Can one of you bring water? I totally forgot when I was getting us dinner—"

"I don't _want_ fucking water! I want a Coke!" Sasuke howled in outrage.

"You know you aren't supposed to have any soda or caffeine!" Naruto reminded him apologetically. "Sorry guys, he's not having a very good day…"

"Don't worry about it." Gaara assured him, leaning in for a quick kiss, which just set Sasuke off again.

"Hey! Hey, he's _my_ boyfriend, you know! Keep your hands off! As soon as I get this damn cast off, I'll kick all your asses!" Sasuke went on, and Naruto, not able to take much more, stepped out of the room and closed the door on the yelling, taking a deep breath.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again without thinking, closing his eyes and breathing in and out deeply, counting to ten in his head. "I miss the pain pills."

"If he's hurting, we can give him Tylenol or something." Gaara suggested.

"No…I mean the mood thing." Naruto shook his head, his voice cracking slightly. "It's hard to ignore everything he says…and sometimes he's almost normal, but then something won't go how he wants, or he'll fall in front of some people or something, and he's just…I can't get angry with him, it isn't his fault. I know he doesn't mean it. I know he's just…just annoyed with himself and annoyed with the situation and embarrassed and everything."

"Well, you're spoiling him, that's why he's acting like a child." Neji offered, and Gaara made a face at him before embracing Naruto, patting his head and rubbing his back firmly.

"It's okay, you're doing your best." Gaara assured him. "He can't ask for any more than that."

"It's true…we've been through worse than this…" Naruto sniffled slightly and then burst into tears.

"God, Naruto." Neji blinked in surprise as the façade of cheerful desire to help broke down completely. "I'll…get the water."

"He'll just…throw it at you…and call you names." Naruto managed between sobs, and Neji ignored him. He wanted a moment alone with Sasuke. It was clear someone had to straighten the spoiled man out. He left Gaara rocking Naruto tenderly, and was not surprised to see that he was being led upstairs when he came back with the water. Perfect. He wasn't going to put up with this shit the way Naruto would. Sasuke was going to learn to appreciate his lover, or he'd learn the consequences.

"That better be a Coke or you can shove it up your ass." Sasuke growled as Neji stepped into the room holding the glass. "Oh, it's _you_." He sneered at the willowy long-haired man. "Tell your fucking asshole boyfriend to keep his hands off Naruto. That's _my_ property."

"I see." Neji gritted his teeth. He wasn't in love with Naruto, but he did care about him quite a bit, and to see Sasuke talk about him this way made him furious, especially thinking of how the words would cut the sweet blonde to the quick. "Too bad." He set the glass down on the bookshelf, across the room from where Sasuke had any hope of reaching anything without leaving the bed.

"That's right, go get me a fucking Coke, and I don't _want_ pizza for dinner." He tossed a nibbled slice at Neji, dodged it easily and picked it up, dropping it in the waste basket.

"I'm not getting you a damn thing, and you can starve for all I care." Neji told him, his voice as calm as possible. "I just came to tell you Naruto will be sleeping with us until you can learn not to be a giant prick. First lesson, someone helps you, and you say thank you calmly. You do not yell at them and demand something else just to see them run around at your beck and call. Do you think it's making your leg better to run Naruto ragged? Is it really so annoying to see him happy? Or did you decide that after all the fucking bullshit he put up with, everything you've been through, it can't stand up to the demands of your swollen, selfish ego?"

"I don't want anyone's help!" Sasuke growled, angrier than ever at this tirade.

"Good, because you won't be getting it. You want to do everything by yourself, fine. Until you can learn to ask for help and say thank you when it is given, you can drag your own crippled ass around, and you can find your own food, take showers on your own, and do whatever you need _on your own_." Neji clenched his fists. He desperately wanted to punch Sasuke, and was surprised that Naruto had not done this yet. "The only reason you're doing this is because you hate him seeing you weak, and you feel like the only way to deal with it is to drag him down. You don't deserve someone waiting on you hand and foot, doing whatever you like, and putting up with all your petty spoiled abuse. You need to fucking learn that if you can't appreciate Naruto for what he is, for the fact that he loves you just as much when you're like this as when you're completely healthy and happy, you'll lose him. Worried about Gaara pulling him away from you when you're incapacitated? You should worry, but it isn't that fucking leg that's driving Naruto to him, and to me. It's every fucking word that comes out of your mouth. Have you even told him that you love him once since you broke your leg? Have you thanked him for putting up with your shit, for doing everything he can for you? I seriously doubt it." He turned and grabbed the handle of the door before looking back at the seething man who was sitting up in bed, fists clenched around the sheets, full of anger and misery and guilt. "And if I hear you say one more dicky thing to Naruto, I'll kick your ass. I don't care about your damn leg." With that, Neji left, and Sasuke blinked in disbelief at the door.

Surely, any second now, Naruto would come in, bringing him the soda he'd asked for even as he sighed and said that Sasuke shouldn't _really_ have it. Any second now…he'd come in and apologize for letting Neji in there, and tell him that he'd never, never leave.

Any second now.

He wouldn't leave Sasuke alone when he was hurting, no matter what Sasuke said. Of course he wouldn't. Even if Sasuke had attacked him physically and verbally over and over again for the past week. Naruto loved him, and he put up with all his moods and quirks, because that was just the sort of person Naruto was. He was a good man…endlessly forgiving, endlessly patient, endlessly full of love.

_Better than I deserve._

And right now…where was he? Was he really upstairs with Gaara and Neji? Would they…surely Neji wouldn't ever want Sasuke and Naruto to split up. It would threaten his own position, because of course without Sasuke there, Gaara would want Naruto for his own. So it must have been a bluff, born of anger and frustration. After all, Neji wasn't nearly as patient and caring as Naruto, not by a long shot. If Gaara acted the way Sasuke did when he was sick or injured, Neji would probably get sick of it after a day and lock him up in a closet until he was better. He would never want to compete with Naruto…not really.

Unless…unless the three of them would all be…

No. No, that would never happen.

Any second now. The door would open and Naruto would slip in, furtive and apologetic, full of warmth and generosity.

Any second…

He fell asleep waiting.

----------

To be continued…


	11. Chapter 11

If I Fall

Chapter 11

----------

"So, how's it coming?" Ino lunged into the open door of Sakura and Sai's room and waggled her eyebrows suggestively at her pink-haired friend, who blanched, before coughing slightly and primly turning a page in her textbook.

"My reading? Nearly halfway done." She answered, knowing that wasn't what Ino was asking, but unable to not be mortified.

"No, _you_ know what I mean." Ino did a little dance, jiggling her hips in a way that she was sure would upset Shikamaru if there were men watching. As long as the men weren't him. "I meeeean, I know you usually get your period like three days after me. So? Pregnant yet?"

"It doesn't happen right away." Sakura flushed deep red and buried her nose in her textbook.

"Oh come _on_. Shikamaru and I used condoms, and you guys are using nothing. And Kiba says you're getting it regular." Ino explained, and then at Sakura's absolutely shocked look, she rolled her eyes. "Please, however you try to repress yourself, you're right across the hall from Temari and him. She might not think it's any of my business, but deep down, Kiba's the same old gossip queen he's always been, and he's got a front row seat…well, speaker…or whatever. Anyway. So maybe you guys aren't quite as good at it as Shikamaru and I, but don't worry, you'll get it pretty soon if you keep up the pace."

"I can't believe Accidental Pregnancy is giving me conception advice." Sakura sighed heavily and tried to maintain her illusion of reading the biochemistry book open before her. "I'll be sure to visit you if I want advice on how to be crass, though. Don't worry."

"Sorry to upset your delicate Victorian sensibilities, princess." Ino snorted. "Everyone knows you guys are screwing with no protection, everyone knows you're trying to have a kid. I'm just asking the question _everyone_ wants to know the answer to. You think Hinata isn't getting constant nagging interrogation as well? When you let us know your plans, of course we're interested, we're your friends."

"Oh please, you're just a busybody." Sakura remarked, but there was a small smile on her face. Ino shrugged and came inside, sitting on the bed and peering at the book. "I'll be sure to get a baby gong, and as soon as I'm pregnant, I'll ring it, and you'll know."

"Well, I'm just saying, it's only fair." Ino pointed out. "I should know first, because you were the one who knew first when I was pregnant with Aki."

"Okay, that was a completely different situation." Sakura reminded her. "For one thing, I don't plan on hiding it from Sai until a nurse threatens to just tell on me. Secondly, pretty sure there's a big difference between planned and accidental. Also, Sai's not going to have to worry about studying improper condom usage under good old Professor Nara."

"Very funny." Ino sighed. "But still, will you promise to tell me as soon as you find out? I mean, I can even be here for you when you do the test. I just really want to be the first to know. I think it would be fair. I mean, we have a kind of _bond_ about this sort of thing. And who's going to know what you're going through better than me?"

"Well, I don't know," Sakura offered dryly. "Perhaps Tenten, who also actually _planned_ her pregnancy? And frankly, I mean…I'll tell you when I'm ready, but if I do become pregnant, I'm telling Sai first, and that's all there is to it."

"Man, you're so cold." Ino flopped back on the bed and sighed heavily. Just then, Sai came in the bedroom and tossed down his messenger bag.

"Hey, honey," Sakura closed her book and set it aside, smiling warmly as he bent over to give her a kiss of greeting. "How was work?"

"I accomplished very little. I spent twenty minutes trying to decide which brand of pastel I prefer instead of cataloguing books." He told her very honestly.

"Well…I suppose as long as they still pay you." Sakura couldn't help giggling. "Ino was just visiting."

"I was asking about how the baby-making is going!" Ino corrected rather indignantly, and Sakura's face went pinker than her hair. Sai blinked at the blonde before nodding shortly.

"So far there seem to be no babies, but I am not one to give up easily. This only convinces me we were right to start trying early." Sai gave Sakura an eager smile, and she scratched the back of her neck nervously, not meeting his eye.

"Well then, I guess I'll let you get…you know, back to _that_…see you at dinner." Ino winked at them and stood up, leaving the room. Sakura giggled rather nervously, and Sai smiled warmly before sitting down beside her and stretching his arms above his head and letting out a deep yawn.

"I have pined for you all day." He told her, and she rubbed her cheeks, trying to fight back this blush that was plaguing her. Why was she acting so young and foolish and naïve? It wasn't as if this was all new to her. At this point, he wanted to have children with her, they were engaged. Nothing should embarrass her anymore. "But if you have studying to do, I can wait."

"No, it can wait," she let him turn her chin toward him, and she fell into his dark, consuming gaze, so full of love and honesty and need. He kissed her deeply, and she felt she might swoon as he pulled her down gently, letting things move slowly, naturally, until it was skin on skin and pressure and tension and aching everywhere, deliciously full of anticipation. And then…

"I love you," she tried to say those words as often as possible these days, but tried not to think too much about why she felt the need. He kissed her softly, nuzzling her chin, moving to kiss her collarbone, one pert nipple, and then back up to her shoulder and her cheekbone. He was always so gentle, so caring, so understanding and wonderful…everything he did, she loved him more.

So it wasn't wrong to say the words…but she felt guilty.

"I love you, too." He sighed happily, just staring at her, taking in every inch of her until she felt the blush rising in her cheeks again. He never seemed to tire of her, never seemed to tire of the sight of her, the taste and the feel.

She splayed her fingers against his chest, watching the contrast of her peaches and cream complexion against his milky white skin, so pale it was almost like paper. Paler than anyone she'd ever known, no matter how much time he spent outside. She had been afraid he would burn in France, but he hadn't done anything besides become a bit pink in the heat, and then it would always fade as his temperature returned to normal. She thought that his skin was gorgeous. It was like what she imagined geisha were trying to approximate, with all their makeup. Of course, his lips weren't quite as round, and he wasn't feminine. Well…he wasn't _that_ feminine, but she could see the gentle curves in his frame. He had many more planes and angles than her, but he wasn't exactly chiseled from granite. And his eyes, while narrower than hers, were so expressive and so beautiful, with thick dark lashes and that deep black color that she just wanted to sink into…he was beautiful, she knew that. And he was such a good man. She was lucky to have him.

"I will let you study." He kissed her again after they had spent some time just resting in a tangle of limbs, staring at each other. "But I am going downstairs for a drink of water. Would you like me to get you anything?"

"No, just check that Sasuke isn't dead. I know we're supposed to let him alone until he stops being a pain to everyone…but I can't just let him fall down and squirm on the floor until he starves to death or something." She sighed after he nodded and left. When Neji and Gaara had spoken to Temari about the course of action as far as handling Sasuke, and she had made sure the rest of the house understood the situation, it had been obvious that there was more than just Sasuke's typical bed-rest surliness at play. She'd been exposed to his attitude, and she was well aware what a pain it was, and she knew that it must be even worse for Naruto, who spent most of his day every day catering to his injured lover. She also knew that there was some sort of crazy interrelationship nonsense going on between the whole ongoing Naruto and Gaara quasi-love affair, the tension that had always existed between Neji and Sasuke, the protective affection that existed between Neji and Naruto, and the uneasy truce that existed between Gaara and Sasuke. She knew that this entangled pair of relationships was going to eventually cause either serious problems, or just a lot of confusion in the house about who exactly was sleeping with who and who else knew about it. Ino seemed ecstatic that they might all…develop something further, but Sakura was worried about what it would mean for Sasuke and Naruto as well as Gaara and Neji as separate couples if they became too reliant on each other.

She had noticed a shift in the dynamic, and now…with Sasuke's convalescence and his increased moodiness, things had shifted again quite sharply. She was aware that Naruto slept most nights with Gaara and Neji. She wasn't really comfortable asking him for any more information than that, but she had eyes, she could see that there was _something_ going on, though the physical level of it might not have reached the clear emotional interdependence clear to everyone. Meanwhile, Sasuke took the edict that he had to learn to behave like a human being or deal with his injury on his own as a challenge of some sort. Between the fact that he was struggling to do things on his own and refused to ask for help, and the fact that he was spending many nights alone, he was more irritable than ever. Yesterday she had seen him leap at Kankurou after the oblivious man had tripped on one of his crutches and tried to beat him senseless with the walking aid. However, Kankurou had used his two good legs to escape pursuit of Sasuke, who was restricted severely in the pain he could inflect on those that displeased him by his injury. She knew that normally, a break like this would take about six weeks to heal, and he was just over halfway there. He had gone to the doctor today for a follow-up…well, she had assumed that was where he had gone, there had been a lot of grumbling and cursing as he headed out the door, his car keys in his mouth since no one with a car was willing to drive him around.

Frankly, she had wanted to, but with everyone around, she knew she couldn't sneak the help in without a lot of annoyance and trouble-making in the household. She didn't want things to get worse…but she also didn't want Sasuke to end up hurting himself worse than he already was. Pulling herself up on the bed, she walked to the door and grabbed her robe, wrapping it around herself and climbing back on the bed, opening her book and after a moment, rolling over to reach for her end table. She pulled out the drawer, shuffling through ponytails and old condoms and some pregnancy tests until she found a small packet in the back. She opened it furtively, peered at the door to be sure no one was coming, popped a pill out and swallowed it, shoving the packet back in the drawer and closing it. She moved back toward Sai's side of the bed and resumed studying, so when he came back, he was none the wiser. However, though the pill had been small, it felt like a giant lump in her throat, so big that surely it must bulge out, surely he must see. He must know…

But of course, he didn't know, and that just made her feel horrible and guilty. But she didn't know how to tell him…she was too afraid of the idea of doing what he wanted. She wasn't ready. Not yet. It wasn't that she didn't love him, it wasn't that she didn't want a child ever…just not now. Not right that instant. The thought was somehow terrifying.

Someday. Soon, and he'd never know. She'd become ready, and she'd stop with the pills…but until then, it was her secret. She just needed a little more time.

Just a little more…

----------

Naruto bit his lip as Gaara turned away from him to fix a sandwich. For the past couple of weeks he'd been unofficially escorted around everywhere he went, especially within the house. He knew it was probably good to leave Sasuke to his own devices until he could stop being so ridiculous, but at the same time, he couldn't just turn off his feelings, ignore his concern for his lover, and ignore him completely. He stood up as casually as possible, walked out of the kitchen, and snuck over toward the bedroom that Sasuke was likely in at the moment. As he drew closer, Sai stepped out, and Naruto looked around in alarm, leapt for the bathroom door, and blinked to find it locked.

"Hello, Naruto." Sai smiled softly at his friend. "He is fine." Naruto hadn't asked, of course, but it was clear that was the information he was after. He smiled hesitantly at Sai. "Sakura wanted to be sure he wasn't dying of pride and starvation on the floor or anything. He is not talking to anyone, though. He sits in bed and pretends to be reading."

"Thanks." Naruto was so used to Sasuke's stages of anger that he knew from this brief description that he had now reached the point where he realized he was at fault but was holding out based entirely on pride and stubbornness. This could often last only a day or so, but the increased aggravation of his injury would likely extend this period to a few days or a week. Unless the fact that he had to deal with utter celibacy since their last real interaction had factored in at all to his behavior and decision making process. It had been over two weeks since he'd so much as kissed Sasuke, and they hadn't actually been together since before his leg was broken. Naruto had found it extremely difficult to think about seducing someone in such a constant piss-poor mood, especially considering all the name-calling and insults didn't really put him in the most sultry of moods.

But that didn't stop him missing Sasuke, wanting to see him, to be sure he was alright. A few weeks of extremely annoying behavior wasn't enough to make him forget three years of everything they had shared together. No matter what an obnoxious asshole he was, Sasuke was still precious to Naruto.

Wondering if Gaara had noticed his absence yet, Naruto waited as Sai passed him to go into the kitchen and slowly opened the bedroom door, peering in to see Sasuke sitting on the bed, his face stuck in a pout that Naruto couldn't help but find adorable, his chin tilted up and his eyes glittering with pride, and possibly with something else. As he caught the change of light from the open door, his eyes slanted in Naruto's direction, and he closed the door to make sure Sasuke didn't see that despite everything, he couldn't help wanting to check on him, wanting just to drink in the sight of him, to assure himself that other than being extremely obstinate, there was nothing really wrong with Sasuke. He knew that despite agreeing to give him space, to let him learn the error of his ways, if he had opened the door to see Sasuke in abject misery, sad or lonely or clearly longing for him…he wouldn't have held out for an apology. It might not be something that he should forgive so easily, but then again…he had never been able to begrudge much of anything when it came to Sasuke. He understood that the other man was sorry, and most times, he didn't need to hear the words to feel better. He could read the apology in his lover's eyes, could taste them on his lips and could feel them in his actions.

"Naruto," Gaara's voice was soft but disapproving, and he turned from where he'd been leaning, eyes closed, his cheek pressed against the door. "Your sandwich is in the kitchen."

"Thanks," Naruto flushed, and let Gaara weave an arm around his waist and usher him away from the room where Sasuke was holding on to his pride so pointlessly.

_It's not pointless to him…when he's like this, he feels like his pride is the only thing he has, and the most important thing…but I think he sees that sometimes he needs to put his pride aside. For my sake…I know he will._

"You know you're supposed to let him come around on his own." Gaara didn't insert any more disapproval in his tone, but it was clear in his words. "If you go coddle him whenever my back is turned he'll act just the same and think he's done nothing wrong."

"I didn't…I just wanted to see that he was okay. He didn't see me, I just peeked inside." Naruto explained, still feeling a bit embarrassed and guilty at being caught out that way. Neji and Gaara had taken him in entirely since he had broken down from the strain of the way Sasuke had been treating him. They shared their bed with him, they went with him almost wherever he went, and assured him constantly that it was best to do this now, to put his foot down when he had his friends there to support him. Imagine if this had happened in a few years, when it was just the two of them, and Naruto had nowhere to go to avoid him or his demands. He knew it would have been very hard to honestly tell Sasuke at that point that he didn't deserve to be the brunt of this anger born of his own stupid pride, didn't deserver blame as though he had somehow caused this injury, or as though he was secretly mocking Sasuke for being injured in the first place.

"You miss him." Gaara stated the obvious as they leaned on the counter, eating their sandwiches. Temari would have thrown a fit about them getting crumbs everywhere, but it was relaxing to lean here, staring at each other, sharing this simple meal, elbows bumping, arms brushing against each other.

"Of course I do." Naruto felt vaguely guilty admitting it, even though it couldn't have come as a surprise. He didn't want Gaara to feel like he didn't enjoy his company, like Neji and him couldn't distract Naruto from thoughts of Sasuke. "You know how I feel." He couldn't really describe the difference, but he knew if anyone understood what it was to want to be near two different people, and to try and replace the company of one entirely with the other…he knew it would be Gaara.

"I do." Gaara nodded, munching at his sandwich before leaning slightly against him so that their shoulders bumped slightly, and then popping the last bite of his lunch into his mouth. They stood in silence as Naruto finished his own sandwich, taking his time, feeling warmth seep into him as Gaara offered him a sip of his own water, and after he took it, feeling the familiar warmth of his lips on his neck, pressing softly. It wasn't a demand, it was an offering, something soft and reassuring, something familiar and sweet. It wasn't the thing he longed for most, but it was something he could sate himself with. He understood, but he wasn't ready for that. It would feel too much like a betrayal, and unless Sasuke had told him it was really okay…he could only do so much without feeling like he was breaking the rules somehow.

But it was, again, nothing more than an offering, so it didn't worry him or scare him at all. He knew that Gaara would accept whatever he would give, whatever he would allow, and he knew that Gaara understood his doubts, knew what kept things the way they were and accepted them without reservation.

Naruto gulped down some water to wash down his sandwich and turned to the redhead. "Do you have any homework?"

"Not really right now." Gaara shrugged, finishing off the glass and putting it in the sink, brushing any crumbs off his shirt. "You?"

"Nothing due tomorrow or anything like that." Naruto responded, reaching out and tangling his fingers through Gaara's. "Let's go upstairs." Gaara blinked at him, and while his expression remained as unreadable as ever, his eyes seemed to go liquid.

"Okay." He pulled Naruto out of the room, and they navigated the gates, the stairs, and found themselves back in Naruto's room, which was temporarily also Neji and Gaara's room while Sasuke lacked the full use of his legs. Naruto flopped down face-first on the bed, letting out a heavy sigh, and Gaara closed the door, clambering up behind him and straddling his hips. He pressed the ball of each thumb firmly into the small of Naruto's back, and the blonde let out a low noise. This was really all the encouragement Gaara required, and he carefully hitched up Naruto's shirt, letting the other man take it off and toss it aside before he reached over to the nightstand, and began kneading Naruto's back systematically, the lotion on his hands helping him soothe the strained and tired muscles he encountered there. This wasn't the first time he'd massaged Naruto's back, and Naruto had rubbed his before, as well, although Naruto always seemed to get stuck at his neck and head, unable to resist the allure of his brightly colored hair. Gaara liked to touch Naruto's hair, but his flesh was appealing on its own, with its honey-hued warmth and the toned muscles tangible underneath. And besides, he was so responsive, Gaara always knew exactly where his attention was needed from the noises and twitches that Naruto seemed either unable or unwilling to control. Naruto loved to be touched, and Gaara loved to touch him.

At first, the feeling of Gaara's hands was reassuring and relaxing. His fingers were shorter and a bit thicker than Sasuke's, and they held different patterns of calluses so that it was simple for Naruto to tell one from the other. Despite the shorter fingers, Gaara's hands were very strong, and he had learned from long practice how to control this strength and use it to make first Neji, and then Naruto appreciate the feel of them, the squeezing and kneading, the pressure and smoothing against tense muscles until gradually, every strain seemed to melt away under their influence. However…the scent of the lotion became thick in the air, and Naruto could feel himself coming undone. That was Sasuke's lotion, the lotion that reminded him of being treated in just this same careful, loving manner by the dark-haired man who had grown to be the most important person in his life, and who was currently pretending not to care that he was being cruel and hurtful. The images flashed by his mind's eye of times they had used the lotion on each other, of times it had been rubbed into Sasuke's hands in the winter, to avoid his skin becoming dry…secretly he could be so vain. Kissing palms that smelled of this same soft scent. It was supposedly unscented…but after three years of being exposed to it, Naruto knew the smell of this lotion the same way he knew the smell of Sasuke's shampoo, of the laundry detergent he preferred, of his body wash, his deodorant, his fabric softener, everything that mixed together…and underneath it…that scent that he always knew was just _Sasuke_, that always reminded him of tender moments. Seeing Sasuke falling asleep amidst falling plum blossoms, seeing his eyes full of tender passion, hearing him say I love you, a million times, in a million different ways, a million different moments.

"Naruto?" Gaara's voice was soft, his tone muted, and Naruto's body went stiff as he realized he'd been crying, tears leaking silently down his face, and that he must have let out a sob or made some noise, because Gaara had stopped what he was doing, had picked himself up so he wasn't pressing his weight down on the other man, and was sitting beside him, an unsure hand resting on the center of his bare back. "Am I hurting you?"

"No…it's not you." Naruto sniffled, trying to control himself, rubbing his face dry on the damp pillow beneath his face. "I just…"

"He loves you." Gaara put in, and Naruto was surprised at the words. He had rarely heard Gaara defend Sasuke, had rarely heard him say anything about his lover that wasn't snide or distrustful. The fact that he knew what Naruto had been thinking of, the fact that he wanted to reassure him, those things were touching in their own way. But the fact that he was defending his long-time rival was what really caught Naruto off-guard. "He has a hard time admitting when he's wrong, but he is hurting worse than you. He will apologize, he will tell you he was wrong, and that he loves you. It takes time."

"I miss him so much," Naruto admitted, rolling over to look up at Gaara, his blue eyes red-rimmed and gleaming with love and pain. "It seems stupid to miss someone who is right…he's right there, and I can't reach him."

"I know." Gaara reached over his strong, gentle hands still wafting the smell of the too-familiar lotion, and carefully brushed away the last traces of Naruto's tears. He pressed a careful kiss to Naruto's forehead, fever-hot from crying into a pillow, and Naruto let out another little sniffle, enjoying the attention but not sure if it was something he should be enjoying. "It's okay. He does love you."

"I…I know he does." Naruto managed, the lump in his throat thick and suffocating. Gaara carefully pushed back the fringe of hair splaying across his forehead, and then lowered his lips again, this time to Naruto's mouth. It was hard to tell whether he meant simply to give him a brief kiss, a bit of warmth, something to bolster his confidence, or if he meant for it to affect them both so strongly, but soon Naruto's hands were curling into fists, clutching at Gaara's soft, threadbare cotton shirt, then relaxing and clutching again, pulling him down, and Gaara did not resist, did not see any reason to fight, and he let the kiss deepen, let himself taste Naruto, their tongues touching, and his hands held Naruto's face, his fingers sliding into the short hair. It was so different from kissing Neji, but it was still something he liked, something he craved.

They rolled, so they were both on their sides, and Naruto tangled his legs with Gaara's, letting himself sink deeper and deeper with ever kiss, enjoying the warmth that surrounded himself, the feel of Gaara's hands moving down his back, the heat of his lips, the soft noises he made, and the comfort that he would likely always equate with Gaara. And always…always that smell of the lotion. It was like Sasuke were there, and while it made him hesitant to do more than kiss Gaara, it made him achingly hard, between the heated kisses and the familiar scent he always associated with Sasuke, with time spent together in privacy and intimacy.

He could feel that Gaara was hard as well, and their hips were moving slightly, but the redhead made no move to take things further. His fingers brushed against the waistband of Naruto's jeans, but then they just curved upwards again, moving over his side, his back, his shoulders. He kept his own clothes on, though Naruto was sure that his own erection must feel as restricted as his did, and that the temptation to release it was strong.

"Wait…" Naruto pressed his face to the juncture of Gaara's neck and shoulder, unable to resist a taste of the skin, but trying desperately to catch his breath, to slow his heartbeat, to calm down. He knew for a fact that even though it had stayed within the realm of what was technically allowed, Sasuke would be angry if he could see him with Gaara right then. It was hard to control himself, even with that scent, that piece of Sasuke reminding him constantly of his responsibilities, of what he would be risking if he let himself fall into the precipice at his feet, so tempting and so easy to reach. "Wait…"

"I'm sorry." Gaara apologized despite the fact that the situation had been one they had created together. "I didn't mean to push."

"No…I couldn't…" Naruto let out a low groan as he felt the blood pulse through him again, and Gaara's hips jerked involuntarily, grinding against him and making him lose all the ground he'd just gained. "Fuck…it's me. I haven't…it's been weeks, I guess I can't…"

"Neji wouldn't mind." Gaara told him frankly, lowering his hands and grabbing Naruto's rear, not bucking his hips this time but pulling Naruto against him with a low noise of pleasure. "He said you might need to."

"No…I can't." Naruto felt he was going to explode from the pressure he felt, from the heat building in him, and his heart beating so fast. "Sasuke wouldn't want us to…you know he said…said it was okay to kiss and cuddle, but we're getting too close…" Gaara nudged Naruto's chin up and kissed him deep and hard, grinding against him while still holding them together firmly. "Gaara…don't. I can't…can't say no."

"You don't have to." Gaara nuzzled his neck, kissing and licking at the pulse point, biting softly and then soothing the skin with his hot little tongue. "I'll do whatever you want, Naruto. Anything is fine. I can suck you, if that would help. Neji says I'm very good at it."

"Oh god…" Naruto wished that hadn't made the situation more difficult, but it had, and Gaara could feel him pulse, could feel his hips buck as he struggled to control himself.

"It's fine, whatever you want." Gaara told him, his voice soft and husky. "You don't have to worry about Sasuke."

"I can't…I can't…" Naruto whimpered, and Gaara stiffened slightly, seeing the tears welling in blue eyes. He blinked, his pale face draining of blood, and he went utterly numb, realizing what he was doing. He let Naruto go, and felt a strong urge to gag. "I'm sorry, I can't."

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry." Gaara could feel himself hyperventilating, and tried to control his breathing, but it was hopeless. Every fear he'd ever nursed about himself, every thing he had worried he would become, every secret demon living deep within him seemed to have come out to mock him in that moment. "I almost…I was forcing you."

"No, no, Gaara," Naruto gasped, realizing the tears he had shed over Sasuke, over his frustration with the situation, must have mingled with his refusals and struck Gaara as something more sinister altogether. "No, it wasn't like that. I just meant…I don't want to do anything like that without Sasuke's permission, and I know what you mean, I know we're fighting and I see why you'd say I don't' need to worry about him, but it wasn't…I do want you, you weren't forcing me, I couldn't stop myself. I was upset that I couldn't stop myself, upset that I wanted it so badly when I know I shouldn't."

"I didn't…hurt you?" Gaara mumbled, his breathing slowing down, and Naruto, a little afraid to kiss him and have things get out of hand again simply nodded, cupping the side of his face tenderly. "I wouldn't want to—"

"I know you would never make me do anything I didn't want to." Naruto felt foolish for making Gaara worry. He knew enough about Gaara's past to know how the idea that he was forcing anyone would affect him deeply. "I love you. It felt too good, that's all. I wasn't crying because I was afraid of you, I was upset with myself."

"But still…I shouldn't have…tried to." Gaara didn't feel right simply having all his guilt absolved so quickly.

"I'm just all pent up." Naruto tried to laugh, but it was a little forced. "And you're so hot, what am I supposed to do? It's no wonder I'm so impatient to make up with Sasuke."

"Neji really did say we could." Gaara told him after a long silence while they looked at each other slowly. "I didn't think it would upset you or I wouldn't have…have offered."

"Neji is very nice to share you," Naruto let out a long sigh and as he felt his body calming down, let himself snuggle close to Gaara again. "But I really can't. Can you just…just hold me?"

"Sure." Gaara still felt guilty, so he reached over and handed Naruto his shirt, helping him into it. They burrowed under the covers and curled against each other, kissing a few times, but this time they were able to keep their impulses under control.

"That lotion…it's his." Naruto told him after he was so relaxed that he could feel himself falling asleep.

"I understand." Gaara wasn't sure it was true, but he knew it was what Naruto needed, so he would do his best. Also, he would try not to hate Sasuke with a quiet, irrational determination. He should focus on making Naruto happy.

----------

To be continued…


	12. Chapter 12

If I Fall

Chapter 12

----------

"Hey Sakura," Tenten turned to her friend and grinned. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem," Sakura smiled brightly at her, putting her keys in her purse as they left the car. "I have to do this, as well. I think it's fun to go together."

"I wish _I_ needed a dress." Ino spoke up in a martyred tone, and Sakura and Tenten exchanged a long-suffering look. Tenten had asked Sakura to come wedding dress shopping with her, and Sakura had thought it was a convenient solution to her own need for a dress come spring, so she had agreed at once. Unfortunately, Ino had heard about their intended trip and invited herself along. So far, she had spent the trip bemoaning her own lack of the trappings of a larger ceremony, and it was wearing thin very quickly. "I mean, he didn't even get me a new outfit or anything. Just, 'oh, whatever crap you're wearing is fine.' He could have cared less if I'd married him in my ratty old pajamas."

"I think that's romantic, what you guys did." Sakura attempted in a bracing tone as they headed into the bridal shop. "And really, it's nice to do all this, but think of how amazing that he wanted to sweep you off your feet like that and surprise you!"

"Yeah, well, everyone gets the swept feet thing for the _proposal_, if you recall." Ino gave them both accusatory gazes, as if they had somehow conspired against her happiness. "I mean, Sakura, he proposed in front of _everyone_ for you, and I'm sure whatever crap Shino did was great, too. But then Shikamaru sneaks me off and gives me a ring and no dress, no flowers, no anything!"

"He did give you a child." Tenten pointed out. "And frankly, he had just spent half his winter break hunting Japan for you because you had your freak-out thing. So really, I think the lack of ceremony and planning could be excused."

"Plus, you know Shikamaru, he doesn't like attention." Sakura explained. "He only wants you there, he doesn't care who is watching or how you're dressed or anything. Everyone is different, Ino, so it isn't like every relationship and wedding and everything is all the same."

"Still," Ino sighed. "I mean, I would have looked amazing in something like this." She fingered one of the gowns hanging in the shop they'd just entered.

"Hey, why don't you help us?" Sakura offered generously. "I mean, you love modeling things, right? Why don't you try some of them on, so we can see the dresses."

"Well, they might not look the same on me." Ino pretended to hesitate. "But okay!"

Sakura and Tenten exchanged another look as Ino ran over to wrangle a salesperson into attending them. It was becoming increasingly obvious that this was most likely Ino's aim in coming with them. "Oh well, it can't hurt." Tenten murmured, rubbing her still-flat stomach the way she often did these days without really thinking of it. "It can't, can it?"

"My only worry is that she's stolen Shikamaru's credit cards and is planning a _present_ for herself." Sakura hissed as the blonde came back, looking happier than she had all day. Sakura wondered if she could call Shikamaru and warn him without alerting Ino.

"I hear that both of you are looking for dresses? Just come this way, we'll make sure you get everything you need!" the salesperson, a woman who seemed to be just a bit older than them, looked as though she had just won the lottery. Sakura figured she was thinking about the double-commission, or maybe triple if Ino did what she feared the blonde might be planning. Tenten grabbed her elbow as they were ushered forward, and she glanced over to see that for the first time throughout all of this, the sensible girl actually looked nervous. It was like she had finally realized what was happening.

Sakura had to admit, when she sat rattling off her preferences and price range to the woman who was helping them, she felt as normal as if she were shopping for groceries, but as soon as she was ushered into the changing room and saw the first dress fall over her head, an inexpressible excitement overwhelmed her, and she felt her heartbeat speed up. She would have thought…after all this time, being engaged nearly two years already, she didn't expect that putting dresses on would make her feel somehow more like she was getting married…but it did. When the clips were in place and she walked out to let Ino and Tenten see her, she felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she recalled with startling clarity just how she had felt when Sai had proposed to her.

"I'm really getting married…" she muttered under her breath as she looked at herself on the stand, turning to survey the gown in the mirror. "I'm going to be Sai's _wife_."

"Yeah, it's not really that different." Ino assured her, for once having the advantage and feeling it keenly.

"Oh, Sakura, you look so pretty!" Tenten seemed to be just as affected as her, and she turned to the other girl, flushed and radiant and happier than she'd felt in months.

"I don't know, that one kind of makes your butt look big." Ino snapped at the woman helping them. "Get her something less flouncy!"

"Thanks, Ino." Sakura felt herself descend quite swiftly from her euphoric haze and she stomped back to the fitting room. She didn't have much as far as a spending limit, but she still was able to try on quite a few dresses, and after the initial giddiness wore off, she was actually able to do it without getting all misty-eyed with each fitting. In fact, by the time she tried on a dress that she felt sure of, and that received the thumbs-up from Ino and Tenten, she felt a bit relieved. It was fun, but she didn't want to be cinched and pinned up all day long.

However…the dress did look good on her, and it was a bargain. She was so pleased with it, she couldn't help twirling a bit in the mirror, imagining how Sai would look when he saw it…

Before she'd left, he had expressed concern over what would happen if she became pregnant soon, as it would affect her dress' fit in May, certainly. Sakura almost told him she was still taking the pill, but she couldn't do it.

Thinking of that…somehow the gleam of the dress faded a bit. She sighed as the woman took it away and she put her normal clothes back on. _Maybe by then…I'll be ready, and maybe when I'm wearing the dress, I will be pregnant._

Determined not to drag down the mood of Tenten, or even Ino, she went back out to see that Ino had insisted on being next. She laughed as she sat down next to the girl who was set to be married within a month, but had deferred to the insistence of the blonde.

"We should have just let her go first." Tenten joked. "Since her wedding is first."

"Well, unless she's got a time machine, it's not going to really make a difference." Sakura sighed heavily. "Although…maybe if she gets to prance around in a few dresses, she'll calm down."

"Look at me!" Ino came out squealing, picked up her train and twirled around before calming and doing a very regal walk up to the pedestal to admire herself better. "Don't I look _amazing?_ Wait, Sakura, can you get my phone out? Take a picture and send it to Shikamaru."

"Ino…" Sakura and Tenten exchanged looks. Certainly, Ino did look nice in the dress, but it was really a moot point. "You realize…we aren't here to get you a dress."

"Well, there's no harm in looking great, is there?" Ino replied flippantly. "Just send him the picture." Sakura sighed heavily, digging through Ino's purse and took the picture to send, unable to stop herself appending the short text message "I'm sorry" to the bottom. Hopefully he would realize they weren't intending this Ino dress fever.

"Okay, I sent it." She frowned. "Are you going to try on some more, or is it time to have Tenten—" she cut off as Ino pranced away to change.

"I can just pick from the ones she's wearing." Tenten shrugged. "No big deal."

"You are aware that if you do that, she will probably steal your dress." Sakura advised, and Tenten blinked before shrugging.

"Well…I only need it the once. Plus, it turns out that Shino's parents _are_ going to pay for the wedding. I think they're trying to be invited…or trying to get Shino to talk to them again or something. I'm not sure." She grinned wickedly at Sakura. "I just keep telling him we should hold out for when they buy us a house and at least two cars…joking, obviously, but…I mean, I'm sure you know how I feel better than anyone." She reached over and grabbed Sakura's hand in her own. "It sucks, the way they just write you off like that, like you aren't even worth their time. And some of the things his mom has said…I just want to punch her in her dumb prim face."

"It's not…so bad." Sakura offered a weak grin as she realized this issue, this thing that had been bothering her for years was something that indeed, Tenten could sympathize with. Sure, Sai's parents didn't think she was a gold digger like Shino's parents seemed to think Tenten was; instead she was apparently some sort of living succubus of sin and damnation. Or something. It was hard to be clear when Sai's mother started shrieking. His father wasn't bad…but he also didn't ever stand up to his wife.

_I wonder…if maybe I'm letting that affect how I feel about a baby._

She didn't have to think hard to realize what Sai's mother's reaction would be to any child conceived out of wedlock. The woman seemed to go between extremes of believing that Sakura and Sai were constantly "fornicating," as she so charmingly termed it, and thinking that Sakura was just trying desperately to seduce Sai, but that his resolution was too strong to give in. But then again…she'd made an entire relationship out of ignoring everything that woman said.

_But do I want to curse a baby to never have the love and approval of its grandmother…even its crazy conservative grandmother? I mean…my parents would love it, obviously. But I don't want to write off Sai's parents so completely like that._

_And maybe…maybe it's just that, but it could also be that I'm just afraid of the future, of how we'll live, of what we'll do with another mouth to feed, with us still studying. Is this too impulsive? Maybe Sai sees the wedding coming, and he can see kids in the future…and he's waited so long, it's hard to keep waiting, and he's trying to get it all at once. Can I begrudge him wanting his own family?_

"Aren't you worried about the dress fitting?" Tenten asked as Ino came out in a new dress, again going quite wild over how amazing she felt she looked. "I mean…if you get pregnant soon, and the wedding isn't until May."

"I…I think that's the last of my worries." Sakura admitted, and she turned, thinking that maybe…maybe she could tell Tenten what she felt, and maybe her friend could help her sort it out, see a solution.

"I didn't expect it to happen so soon, frankly." Tenten continued after they had given Ino enough praise to send her back to the dressing room. "And…I mean, it might be vain, but I did always picture doing the whole thing, with the dress and the people there. But to be frank, I don't want to wait until after I get in shape again after the baby comes to get married…so instead I just pushed it up. Shino told me I could have whatever dress I wanted, no matter how much it cost—before even his parents said they'd pay. I think he knew I did want a ceremony…I sort of see how Ino feels, but at the same time…do you think I'm going to be like this? Just because I didn't have a giant church wedding with like a thousand people there?"

"Hey, you know we'll all be there, if you want us." Sakura assured her. "And if your parents are there…you know they probably want to see it more than you. You know, it's a mom thing."

"That's true, my mom wouldn't hear of not being there." Tenten nodded, smiling. "She said she didn't care if we were getting married under a bridge by a sewage outlet wearing cast-off rags, she'd be there, and she'd probably cry like a baby."

"Hey…if you want…I bet Aki would make an _excellent_ flower girl." Sakura offered, and Tenten started giggling, picturing the havoc the toddler could cause with a frilly dress and a basket of petals. "I was already planning on her for my wedding, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't mind a pair."

"That means you _have_ to make Ino a bridesmaid at least," Tenten teased. "Good thing about the small wedding, not having to have all that whole court…it just makes the friends you do pick pissed about whatever dress they have to wear, and the ones you don't pick pissed you didn't pick them."

"Oh god…I keep trying not to think of that." Sakura groaned.

"Look, look at _this_ one!" Ino came back just then. "Satin looks so good against my skin, don't you think? Look at how the sheen just accentuates my complexion. It is a _travesty_ I never had a dress."

"Well, I am sure that some day—" the salesperson began as Tenten and Sakura shook their heads violently in warning.

"Oh, I'm married!" Ino launched once more into her tale of woe. "But I never had any announcements, no wedding album, no dress, no garter belt, no bouquet, no reception…only this ring."

"It is a nice ring." Sakura spoke up as the sales woman looked over the ring, clearly unsure of what to say, as she had just opened an unexpected can of worms.

"Lovely." The woman managed.

"But does it make up for the memories I missed out on!" Ino stamped. "I could have had this dress! Everyone would have stood up to see me coming down the aisle, and they all would have said how good I looked, how you'd never know I have a baby."

"Not at all." The woman agreed mechanically.

"And my mother would have said how beautiful I was, and lazy Shikamaru would have even admitted that it was worth the trouble, and that he'd never look _twice_ at that stupid philosophy first-year _whore_."

"Wait…what?" Tenten blinked at Sakura, expecting her to know what this was about. Sakura paused before snapping her fingers.

"One of the students he's tutoring is a good-looking first year." Sakura recalled. "I think…she came storming into my room a week or so ago…her name was something…starts with an s, I think."

"Shiori!" Ino stomped again. "Ugh, get this thing off me, I don't want to feel like a bride anymore. Men are pigs!"

"Well…that's over." Tenten blinked in surprise as the sales woman rushed after Ino. "Very abruptly. Is there anything to this whole Shiori thing? Only…I don't know, Shikamaru is way too lazy to cheat on Ino."

"Yeah, I know, that's what I keep thinking." Sakura rolled her eyes. "I mean, forget that he obviously loves her despite all the crap he has to put up with, forget the fact that you can still catch him looking at her sometimes like he thinks he won the lottery and is waiting for someone to announce it was all a mistake and take it back or something…I mean, he's really obviously happy. But think of how hard it would be to have an affair in our house, and against Ino, of all people. She's in everyone's business! It would take so much stealth."

"Clearly. He can't even tutor girls without her suspecting them." Tenten was clearly reassured by Sakura's vehement denial of the claims. "So she's just feeling…threatened."

"Well, Temari said the girl seemed like a bit of a flirt, and the thing is…Ino's really secure, but imagine how either of us would feel if a really cute first year was batting her lashes at our respective guys." Sakura rationalized. "She'll realize that he is certifiably in love with her and get over it, just give her a week or two."

"Is this why she's cut back on the really lewd talk about every other guy in the house?" Tenten asked, suddenly making a connection in behavior.

"Maybe." Sakura shrugged. "Frankly, I'm not the psych major. I have no idea what Ino thinks half the time, and the other half…I just think she _doesn't_ think at all. She just…does whatever."

"Alarmingly likely." Tenten got up as Ino came back huffily, and went to try on some dresses herself. Sakura didn't want to be pleased that Ino didn't seem so happy about wedding dresses anymore, but she felt the rest of the afternoon pass by with ease despite the fact that Ino was clearly in a bad mood.

Angry Ino was somehow…easier to handle at times.

----------

Sasuke had a lot of reasons to be angry.

First of all, his dumb leg was broken, and it was entirely due to those idiotic baby gates. Why did anyone need a gate? If Aki was so stupid as to fall down the stairs, she probably wasn't worth the trouble of raising and protecting. Sasuke was positive such precautions wouldn't have been used on him when _he_ was a baby. Although…to be frank, he couldn't remember being a baby, and in any case, it would have likely been better if his parents had been more involved in his upbringing, if for no other reason than to prevent what had happened between him and Itachi.

Secondly, he was being ignored by Naruto, which was completely unfair and totally ridiculous, and even more aggravating than the broken leg that had caused this. Naruto was used to how Sasuke acted when he was sick or injured. He knew that Sasuke hated people seeing him that way. Although…he had to admit, part of him had pleasant memories of his first injury at college…the sprained ankle on his part and bruised ribs that Naruto had suffered while catching him falling out of a tree. If not for that incident…Sasuke might not have realized he had feelings for Naruto other than enmity, and he might not have realized that there were a lot better things he could do with the blonde than just antagonize him all day. Even now…it amazed him to see the way that being with Naruto had changed his life for the better.

Because of his being ignored and the broken leg and all, Sasuke had also lived in extremely frustrated celibacy for the past five weeks. This was not a state that Sasuke, who had been enjoying regular sex with the love of his life any time he wanted it for nearly three years now was able to handle easily. He was quite sure that the lack of sex had started to affect his attitude detrimentally around the first week of his injury, and that had led to him apparently pushing Naruto too far and being told off by Neji, who was now probably enjoying all kinds of inappropriate favors with _his_ boyfriend as well as Naruto. It was completely unjust. Of course he knew they were likely all sleeping in the same bed. It was only a matter of time before Naruto fell prey to Gaara, who was clearly trying to get into his pants at every turn. And Neji, rather than being threatened by this, would probably just call it a great time and join in. So typical.

And on top of all that, he had to help himself everywhere, having to gimp his way into the bathroom and manage the damned baby-proof toilet on his own, having to use a stool for the shower because he didn't have Naruto to help him there either. At least when Naruto was helping him in the shower he'd had a chance to see the other man naked. Now only Neji and Gaara were probably seeing that…they probably all showered together…

Sasuke forced himself to breathe calmly, forced himself to unclench his fists and propel himself out of his car, a rather awkward arrangement he had grown used to out of necessity more than anything else over the past weeks. He arranged his crutches and headed for the front door, trying not to think of all the things that Naruto was probably being made to do with Gaara and Neji, who probably thought Sasuke's attitude was totally reasonable, considering the leg, and had only taken advantage of the situation so that they could have the blonde all to themselves. Well…his leg wouldn't be broken forever, and then…when the cast came off next week…then…

_I'm going to have to apologize._ Sasuke knew this. He didn't like apologizing. He was more annoyed than anything that simply because he had been a bit snippy and because they had said it was best, Naruto was leaving him alone utterly and living with Neji and Gaara as though they were complete strangers, with nothing in common besides being in the same house. Sakura came to check on him regularly, sneaking to help him with this or that, which he pretended to find annoying, but was secretly quite touched to see. He had been completely convinced that the only thing that kept him in the good graces of everyone in the house was Naruto's own regard. To see that anyone would do anything for him…it was nice to know she was his friend, no matter what. He had noticed others surreptitiously checking on him…and he liked to think that Naruto, while making a show of ignoring him, was secretly dying of worry. He kept hoping Naruto would burst into the room he was using, Neji and Gaara's normal room, and apologize for abandoning him and getting so upset about the things he said, the way he acted…

Struggling to get the door open without putting weight on his leg or dropping his crutches, Sasuke cursed under his breath. He was at a very difficult point, emotionally. He wanted to just apologize. He knew that he had been cruel for no other purpose than to try and detract from his own pain and embarrassment, and he owed Naruto more than that. Naruto, who patiently put up with everything he dished out, who would forgive him anything and had done just that over the course of their relationship, whose primary concern had always been Sasuke's happiness. Of course Naruto must be worrying about him. And without Gaara and Neji…he was sure that they wouldn't have even been separated by his bad behavior.

But…really, he should be more appreciative. Was he taking Naruto for granted, after all these years, had he forgotten that _he_ was the lucky one, he was the one who should bend over backward and do everything he could to make Naruto happy? Had he forgotten all his mistakes, all his faults, everything that Naruto had taken in and embraced with a sunny smile, better balm than anything else had ever been. Naruto had taught him how much he could love someone, and how that person loving him in return could heal all his old pains, all his doubts and fears fading under the sunlight of Naruto. Always there for him, always willing to compromise so that Sasuke was satisfied, so that Sasuke was happy. Why didn't he compromise? Why couldn't he even admit he was wrong? Was that really so much to ask, in return for three years of unconditional love and acceptance?

_What's wrong with me? Is it really such a big deal that everyone see me like this, that they know I can barely use the bathroom by myself, that I have problems getting around? Is it such a blow to my pride that my friends help me, that Naruto helps me? Would that really be worse than losing him, having everyone know that I lost him because of my stupid pride?_

Sasuke felt a tingling nervous sensation as the thought occurred to him. Naruto wouldn't leave him over this, would he?

_He might._

It wasn't worth the risk. Probably Naruto was missing him…if he just apologized, if he just told him that he knew he was at fault, they could forget about this. And soon, he'd be out of the cast, and it wouldn't be nearly so hard to be even-tempered. Well…even-tempered by his standards. And while he was angry with Neji and Gaara for keeping Naruto from him…he could still remember that talk he'd had with Gaara while he was waiting with his freshly broken leg for health services to come and take him in. He knew that despite how much he wanted to be angry with them, to think they were both maliciously keeping Naruto from him so they could use him for their own pleasure…he knew that when it came down to it, they were just trying to protect Naruto, to make him stand up for what was right. He didn't deserve Naruto, he knew that. How had he forgotten? How had he come to treat the blonde so callously?

There was some sort of excitement in the living room…he peered in, leaning on his crutches and saw at once that they were having a birthday party for Aki. Naruto was there, with the others, clapping as the toddler opened her presents and babbled happily, sitting in the center of the room with her parents. Naruto was taking pictures, which was predictable of him, to say the least. He would want to help Shikamaru and Ino remember this, just as he always helped everyone with everything he could. Never mind that he was a photographer, he would have volunteered for the job even if he barely knew how to use a camera. Well…there was no use trying to drag him away from that. Surely Naruto would want to be with his friends right now, not dealing with his surly boyfriend.

That was when something unexpected happened. Ino was happily thanking someone for the outfit that they had given her daughter, holding it up and smiling. Naruto snapped a picture, and then Gaara, always near Naruto, spotted Sasuke and nudged the blonde. Sasuke froze.

Naruto's smile slipped momentarily, and Sasuke realized when he saw it that Naruto was happy…but that there was really something bothering him. He knew that smile too well to be fooled by an imitation, by a forced replica. Naruto…could it be that Naruto missed him as much as he missed Naruto? Gaara had his hand on Naruto's shoulder now in a way that was so familiar, it made Sasuke ache with jealousy and regret. That should be _him_, whispering into Naruto's ear. That should be his hand curled naturally around the shoulder he knew the taste of better than he knew anything else. For one irrational instant, he was torn between longing and furious jealousy, and then he saw Gaara's head tilt oddly, and Naruto turned, and their eyes met, really met for the first time in weeks.

Sasuke wanted to sob. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg forgiveness. He wanted to do anything, anything to have that unguarded look of happy, contented devotion that he had become so accustomed to. Instead…the blue eyes were guarded, the face hopeful and wary at the same time. Gaara dropped a light kiss on Naruto's cheek and Sasuke clenched his hands around the handles of his crutches so tightly his nails bit into the rubber grips.

Were they mocking him? Why would Gaara kiss him like that, as if to underline Sasuke's failures and to emphasize how the situation between them had shifted in the redhead's favor? Naruto gave Gaara a soft smile, and Sasuke thought that if they really kissed right at that moment, right in front of him, after the past weeks of misery, he would turn and go to his room and never come out. Because now…for the first time, he could really see…despite his jealousy, Gaara was good for Naruto. Gaara treated him much better, with much more kindness and consideration. And maybe…maybe that was why he had always hated the other object of Naruto's affections. Because he gave Naruto what Sasuke wished _he_ could give.

Was it too late to admit he'd been wrong? To fix things? Had he lost Naruto?

"Sasuke," Naruto approached him then, and to Sasuke's immense surprise, Gaara spared a genuine smile for him, not for Naruto, who he was always sharing smiles and tender moments with, but for _Sasuke_. The effect was amazing, to see that face, normally so guarded and closed off, devoid of emotion except for the passing glimpses spotted between him and Naruto, or of course him and Neji…but this…

Suddenly, Sasuke understood more about Naruto and Gaara, and about Gaara himself than he had since they had met. And he realized…they weren't so different. Maybe…maybe they didn't have to be enemies.

"Naruto," he managed with difficulty to not gape at Gaara, and to instead turn his attention at Naruto, the center of his thoughts and concerns for weeks, and if he was to be frank, for years. "Naruto…I'm…I miss you." It was more honesty than he would normally ever show in public, and though he knew that their friends, twenty yards away and deep in their celebration, likely couldn't hear anything, he was aware of Gaara's eyes on him, the weight and heat of the gaze, and he wasn't sure he was comfortable under the expectations it showed him.

"Sasuke," Naruto spoke his name as though it were a mantra, something that could heal them both, could solve any problem between them and bridge any rift in understanding. "Let's…let's go talk, okay?"

"Okay," Sasuke couldn't believe how relieved he was that Naruto even _wanted_ to talk to him. For some reason, at that last moment, he had felt sure Naruto would just ignore him as he had for the past few weeks, and that the pain and longing he saw hidden in that guarded gaze was nothing more than what he _wanted_ to see there.

He negotiated the crutches around, hearing Ino call out to him, asking him where his present for Aki was or something…he wasn't sure. Naruto was all that mattered. He still wasn't an expert with the crutches, but he was able to follow the blonde back through the entrance foyer where Naruto hesitated before leading him into the room he'd been staying in, Neji and Gaara's bedroom. Sasuke angled himself around and through the door, and despite being nervous, immediately went to the bed so he could drop the crutches and rest his leg without having to worry about at least that.

"Sasuke…" Naruto was standing, pacing as much as he could in the space near the still-open door. He looked like he was working himself up to something, and Sasuke was terrified. Was he going to break up with him?

"I love you!" Sasuke blurted out at once, not knowing what he was going to say until the words were out. Naruto blinked at him, no longer pacing, his face unreadable but clearly showing some degree of surprise. "I do, and I know I don't say it enough, and I show it even less…especially when things don't go my way. I know I'm a moody bastard, and I…I don't have any real excuse. You put up with everything, and you look out for me, and never complain, and always forgive me, and I'm _sorry_ that I am this way…but I do love you. And I don't want to lose you, and I should have…should have remembered that. You're more important than my dumb leg, more important than…than anything."

"Sasuke," Naruto's expression was tight, and still unreadable, and he turned. Sasuke felt his heart drop through his feet, but then Naruto simply closed the door and turned back, leaning over him and kissing him once, twice, and again. On the lips, on the face, on his throat. Sasuke let out a strangled noise and pulled Naruto down fiercely, attacking him so that he could show his feelings in a way that he was more accustomed to. "I would never leave you, no matter what a grumpy asshole you are. I love you, too."

Sasuke heard the words, but he didn't respond. He simply clung to Naruto, determined to prove everything he said.

----------

To be continued…


	13. Chapter 13

If I Fall

Chapter 13

----------

"Hey," Gaara walked into his room, a bag of temporarily relocated clothes and books slung over his shoulder. "Got everything?"

"Yeah, the only thing I can't find was what was left of the pain pills…but I think Kankurou stole those some time last week. I saw him sneaking around, and figured he was trying to steel my crutches again, but I'm not worried, I don't really need them." Sasuke realized even as he was speaking that he was amazingly…normal. He was having a normal interaction with Gaara, not sniping at him, and not being sullen. He didn't even feel like Gaara was up to something, which was a feeling he almost always had as soon as he caught sight of the familiar red hair. Maybe he was just overly happy to be out of a cast, using his legs with only slight twinges of pain, moving back into his own room with Naruto. There was nothing _actually_ wrong with the room he'd spent the last six weeks in. It was clean and well organized. It was very close to the bathroom and the kitchen, and therefore very convenient, but it was hard to be happy in a room that he associated with both having a broken leg and fighting with Naruto, and sulking miserably for those two reasons.

"Just don't tell Temari." Gaara nodded as though he was ready to agree with this point about his brother but not very concerned about it. That was one of the main differences between Temari and Gaara, as far as their relationship with their brother was concerned.

"Yeah, don't worry." Sasuke shrugged and bent over, checking under the bed and feeling pleased to be able to do this without the trouble it would have caused him only yesterday. Getting his cast off was amazingly relieving for him, and not only because he liked not having to use the crutches (which were now missing, probably thanks to Kankurou as well.) He knew that it was his own behavior that had caused the rift between Naruto and him, but he couldn't help partially blaming it on his broken leg. To have the leg healed was like a reassurance that Naruto and him were over that, and that they wouldn't have to have a similar fight again. He would try to always remember to be patient, and to think before he spoke. Well…not with everyone. Mostly with Naruto. "If you find any of my socks or anything, let me know. I think I got them all, but you know."

"We can just drop them off." Gaara shrugged. "It isn't as though you live that far away."

"That's fine, too." Sasuke gave the barest of grins. He had this feeling…since after the talk they'd had when he broke his leg initially, but especially after last week…seeing the way Gaara had smiled at him, seeing that this man actually wished him happiness, it made him feel like maybe…

"If that's all—"

"I want to be friends." Sasuke felt like a complete ass even as he said the words, and Gaara's mouth dropped open slightly. He felt himself flush and he tripped over his tongue in his struggle to be eloquent. "I mean…I think you and I…we should be…well, really, we want the same things. We should be…on the same side, I think is what I mean, and I don't know how to say that without sounding really…weird. I know that it's hard for you to…well, I think we understand each other, and I think…think we could be friends. And I think…that would be good. For Naruto, and…and everyone."

"Oh." Gaara responded after a long pause. "That sounds…that would be good."

"I just think Naruto would really—"

"I can't find one of my shirts." Neji's voice reached them before he entered the room, and Gaara turned away from Sasuke at once, his eyes lighting up, losing the guarded look that most people, even his friends, saw from him every day. "Might be down here already."

"I might have grabbed it." Gaara offered, and Neji shrugged, turning to offer a small grin to Sasuke.

"You must be pleased to be back to two legs and no crutches. Although that cast…once it was all black, sort of suited you." Neji's tone had a hint of teasing, but Sasuke was used to this from Neji, and in some ways it was easier for him to deal with and understand than a suddenly friendly Gaara. Gaara either didn't understand sarcasm or didn't really subscribe to such advanced methods of interaction. As far as Sasuke had seen, he had three ways he knew how to behave with others. Firstly, there was annoyed distrust and suspicion, which he seemed most practiced at. It was how he treated most everyone from the day he met them. He had his friends and siblings, whom he seemed to tolerate and was simply perfectly frank with. Gaara wasn't very big on dissembling. And then, of course, the last was the way he treated Neji and Naruto, the only way that seemed to be completely without reserve. Being around them so often meant that Sasuke had plenty of chances to contrast the way Gaara treated him to the way he treated those two. He knew that he was similar, but he used sarcasm on almost everyone, the way Neji did, and he thought that might be what was so disconcerting about Gaara's changing attitude toward him. The dislike was one thing, but this sudden honesty, the hint of emotion directed at him…it was hard to know how to respond to that. Neji…he knew how to deal with Neji.

"Don't be jealous," Sasuke gave him a steely grin. "I could break your leg for you."

"Only if you want to do it in a fun way." Neji's grin became absolutely predatory. "There's always the roof."

"The roof is more exciting." Gaara nodded solemnly, and Sasuke found himself momentarily speechless.

_Neji just hit on me…I'm almost positive he did, and Gaara's just standing there nodding as though it's nothing at all._

_What happened between them when I was laid up? What happened to Naruto?_

"Did you need help carrying any of that up?" Neji asked, managing to still look vaguely lascivious as he made the offer. Sasuke shook his head, fleeing the room and heading upstairs. No sooner had he closed the door to their room behind him then he heard a slam and a low chuckle followed by another, far more interesting sound.

_I need to see Naruto _right_ now._

He tossed his stuff on the floor when he got back upstairs, and when Naruto looked up in surprise at his careless behavior, Sasuke noticed his lips looked slightly swollen, his cheeks flushed. Maybe it was just his imagination. Maybe Naruto had just been making the bed and helping the other guys pack their things, making sure there was space for Sasuke's things where they had been again. But maybe…

"Is your leg hurting at all?" Naruto asked. "I think we have some aspirin somewhere if you're out of pills."

"Fuck my leg," Sasuke wasn't angry, but he was certainly agitated. He pounced on Naruto, pushing him down to the bed unresisting and pleasantly responsive. He was hard the moment Sasuke touched him.

_Yeah, well maybe that was from whatever sort of "goodbye" Gaara thought was necessary. Or Neji…what was Neji doing up here so long?_

"Sasuke…ah, that's so…we should watch out for…mmm…" Naruto was struggling between desire and concern. "Don't want to hurt….your leg…ah, please!"

"Say you love me," Sasuke growled, tossing aside clothes that were irritatingly in the way and licking a path over his neck and chest, much to Naruto's evident pleasure.

"I l—love you…of course I love you." Naruto sighed happily. He always enjoyed make-up sex with Sasuke, but somehow his lover was making up with him about three times a day for the past week. "I love you…love you…" he moaned as Sasuke's mouth moved ever lower and wrapped around him, lips dragging deliciously over velvet heat. "Love you…so—so much." Naruto was practically sobbing with pleasure, and Sasuke continued, mercilessly, greedily. He wanted everything, every inch of Naruto to sing and cry and plead and to say clearly that Sasuke owned him, and no one…no one would ever make him feel the same.

He could love Gaara, he could sleep with him, he could do whatever he felt like with Neji as well, as long as Sasuke knew that he was drawn back helplessly, irresistibly to _this_. To him. "Are you mine?" he asked, moving back up Naruto's body and reaching behind to prepare him, causing the blonde to whimper, his desire leaking, smearing between them, coating their stomachs and Sasuke groaned, his own erection pulsing almost painfully. "Tell me…tell me…"

"I'm yours!" Naruto was clutching at him, hands scrabbling for purchase, trying to grind up against him. "Please…please, I'm yours. Please just…do it…put it in."

"You want it?" Sasuke breathed against his neck, breath hot and heavy. This was their first time without the cast, and he was trying to make sure Naruto wouldn't be confused and think he was such a clumsy lover as he had been while having to work around one plaster-encased limb. "Is this what you want?" he went on, poised teasingly at his lover's entrance, and Naruto let out a noise between a groan and a sob. Sasuke figured that was better confirmation than what he was aiming for anyway, and he plunged forward, Naruto arching against him and clutching at him as though he thought Sasuke could keep him from everything bad in the world.

_I can certainly try. And if I can…I'll be with you forever. Loving you, protecting you. You're the only one…the only one who can make me feel this way, and I want it to be that way for you. I want you to know the difference clearly. If you can do that…I don't care what those guys want with you. I know where you belong, and so do you._

"Mine…always mine." Sasuke growled as he continued moving against Naruto and inside of him, the blonde flushed with pleasure, his pupils diluted and his eyes glowing as he clutched at Sasuke, pulling him in and surging to meet him with every thrust. "You…are mine…"

"Yes," it was hard to tell whether the word was an expression of pleasure or confirmation of Sasuke's insistent claims, but either way, they continued moving against each other, and Sasuke felt his urgent possessive need give way to passion as he felt himself moving closer and closer to climax. "Please…yes…"

"Love…love you," Sasuke panted, needing to taste Naruto's skin even as he felt his fingertips tingling with the overload of sensation. He bent to lick and bite at the neck stretched taut below him, his teeth clamping down as he flew over the edge, and Naruto's fingers bit into his hips so sharply it was hard to say whether it was from his own climax or from the pain of the bite. Sasuke collapsed, Naruto's neck still held by his teeth, and he felt a surge of fear and excitement as he tasted blood, but when he pulled back, he saw that he had only barely broken the skin. Nonetheless, he licked at the wound softly and kissed it before nuzzling Naruto's ear.

"What's got…into you?" Naruto was still out of breath, and his fingers trembled as he trailed them over Sasuke's spine. He tangled one hand in soft raven black hair and sighed contentedly as his heartbeat started to slow.

"Does it hurt?" Sasuke asked, kissing the bite again, and Naruto blinked in surprise, wondering why he would even ask. It wasn't as though he'd never bitten Naruto before. Although it had felt a bit more painful this time…but still, he was tough, he wasn't going to complain if Sasuke was a little rough, especially if the sex was going to be that good.

"Not really," he answered. "Probably leave a mark, though."

"Good." Sasuke's voice was a little guttural, and Naruto chuckled slightly.

"Feeling a little possessive?" he was pleased to think he had figured out Sasuke's behavior, and laughed out loud when Sasuke stiffened, staying silent for a while before he answered.

"I missed you." Sasuke's voice was sullen, and Naruto shifted, turning to face him, their bodies flush as Naruto casually looped a leg over his lover's pale hips. "I haven't been up here for weeks, and you…"

"What, did you think Neji and Gaara and I were going at it up here the whole time you were downstairs languishing?" Naruto couldn't help teasing a little bit, even though he felt a twinge of guilt. He had to admit, Gaara especially could be tempting during those days when he felt most alone and missed Sasuke horribly. And it wasn't as though he hadn't been tempted to cross the line, but even though they'd been fighting…he didn't want to make things worse, no matter how sad Gaara looked when he turned the offer down. "Look," he decided that it was better to be as open as possible with Sasuke, rather than risk something coming out later that would just drive a wedge between them. "You know how Gaara and I feel about each other."

"Obviously," Sasuke grumbled, and Naruto leaned in, kissing him softly, slowly, savoring the sensation and enjoying the pleasant tingle of pleasure as he ran a hand down Sasuke's flank, shifting his leg slightly to make room and causing them to press even closer together. Sasuke sighed, sounding a bit happier before he went on, "I know…we have an agreement and everything, but when you're mad at me…when you stay away, I just assume you and him…he and you…and then Neji there…" Sasuke flushed with a combination of embarrassment and anger, and Naruto kissed him briefly once more, cupping the side of his face tenderly and smiling softly.

"The truth is that it's totally different, being with you." He explained. "And there were moments…I was tempted, but I knew you'd be upset, and it wasn't going to be the same, anyway, so why should I bother making things worse? It was worth it to wait for our dumb fight to be over with. So even though I could have, I suppose, I didn't want to. So don't worry about staking a claim, because the truth is that I _do_ belong to you, first and forever."

"Naruto…" Sasuke felt a surge of love at those words. Sometimes Naruto could seem so foolish, and he would say something even more insensitive than Sasuke, but he had always known just what it was that Sasuke needed to hear when he was feeling badly. "Thanks…I just always get afraid. And…if it's different, some day you might prefer him, so I can't help worrying."

"No," Naruto assured him. "Being with you…I don't know, I guess you would think after all this time, it would be something like a routine. I mean, we know all about each other, we know just where to touch, know exactly how to…well, we've pretty much perfected it at this point, but even though that might seem like it would get boring or whatever…well, with you, it's always like…well, it's kind of hard to describe. When I kiss you, even, it's like…like I'm being consumed, or like…like I'm falling, and it feels good, but I know I can't control it, so it's scary, too, because it's just so…so much. And it does feel good when I kiss Gaara and everything, but with him…it's…well, it's softer, somehow. I can stop myself, you know? It just feels…very nice and I can tell he loves me, but it's not going to sweep me away or anything. Not like with you." Naruto flushed and shook his head, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, this probably just annoys you…I'm not very good at explaining it. I just know that there's a difference, and it means that you're always going to be the one I need more than anything else. That's really…really all I mean."

"Actually, I think I do understand." Sasuke assured him, and Naruto blinked in surprise to see that his description of kissing Gaara wasn't upsetting Sasuke. "Well…keep in mind, it isn't like you're the first person I've been with. I know it feels different depending on how you feel…you know." At the slightly injured look, he added quickly, "although I've never been with someone…like this. Like…like a real relationship. Everything before…it was a mess."

"I love you, Sasuke." Naruto decided that was probably the best thing to say at that point, and Sasuke smiled softly, warming his heart more than he'd thought possible. How was it that this person could control his emotions so completely, and so easily?

"I love you, too." Sasuke nuzzled his throat, wrapping arms around him and squeezing tightly, as though he thought Naruto might slip away. "Sorry about your neck."

"You can do whatever you want to my neck, any time you want." Naruto told him, sighing softly as he felt Sasuke licking at the bite again. "Didn't you say I'm yours? So that would mean it belongs to you, too, along with the rest of me."

"Naruto…" Sasuke felt another surge of love, and again wondered at his ability to ever act in any unworthy fashion toward this person who was already far more than he deserved, and who somehow could always see right into his very heart.

"But you realize that means you belong to me," Naruto breathed, and Sasuke felt a smile lift his lips irresistibly at the corners.

"I'll always, always belong to you." He responded, feeling warmth seep through his limbs and pool in his stomach at the thought that Naruto even felt the need to lay a claim on him as well.

"So whatever I wanted to do to you…I could?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke looked up at him, passion and sincerity clear in his expression.

"Of course," he answered without hesitation, and Naruto kissed him soundly, and one kiss turned into another and another, and Sasuke _did_ understand what Naruto meant about feeling like he'd be consumed. It was terrifying in its own way, but he had become addicted to this sensation, and there was nothing sweeter than trusting this man, and being trusted by him in turn. When Naruto moved down to his neck, Sasuke smiled and stretched the column to give him access to the pale skin, but while Naruto lavished the creamy flesh in kisses, he didn't feel the expected pain of a bite, and he couldn't help frowning when Naruto gave him one last kiss on the lips and shifted to pull a blanket over them. "Weren't you going to…"

"No, I figure I'll just shave your head while you're sleeping." Naruto said it with such a straight face that Sasuke at first assumed he was serious. "After all, that belongs to me as well, doesn't it?"

"But…but…" Sasuke was at a loss. He hadn't expected that at all.

"Oh, I see, there's a limit to what you'll allow for the sake of love." Naruto couldn't stop the smile, and Sasuke scowled as he realized Naruto had just been teasing, but he didn't pull away when Naruto pulled the blanket more securely over them and wrapped an arm around him, burrowing his face against Sasuke's neck and sighing happily. "I'll just have to learn to be satisfied…seems a shame to mark something so beautiful…" he licked at Sasuke's neck slowly, and even as he shuddered with pleasure, he flushed with indignation.

"Don't…talk to me like I'm a girl." He huffed irritably, but his complaints ended on a soft mewl of pleasure as Naruto ground against him at the same moment that he bit the spot he'd been licking so earnestly. Naruto didn't respond, his mouth busy sucking at the patch of flesh he'd chosen, and Sasuke felt heat pooling in his groin at the continued attention, the sucking and licking on his sensitive neck was making his heart race, and the soft noises of pleasure Naruto was making, along with the slow, rhythmic motion of his hips and the hard grip of fingers on his hip just turned him on all the more.

It was funny, when he'd bitten Naruto, it had been at the peak of passion, at the moment of release, and now Naruto was using the same thing to slowly bring him back into a state of arousal.

Of course…thinking of Naruto beneath him and around him, of the way he had felt when he bit into the blonde one a little while ago…that only made him more and more excited, until he was writhing with excitement, trying to gain control of that maddeningly slow grinding to no avail. Naruto's grip was implacable, and he seemed perfectly content to move as slowly as he had been when they'd both been spent and settled, even though he could feel that Naruto was just as affected by this prolonged contact as he was.

"With you…I just can't stop myself." Naruto breathed as he pulled his mouth away at last from the tender portion of Sasuke's neck, the breath hot at first, and then cool as he blew lightly on the saliva-damp skin, soothing it. "Does it hurt?"

"Feels…good," Sasuke sighed, trying again to exert his control over the movement of their hips with very limited success. Naruto turned his attention to Sasuke's mouth, then, and he was utterly consumed. He should not have been able to breathe, but he did remember somehow. He shouldn't have been able to feel anything outside of that kiss, so deep and searing as it was, but when Naruto's hand wrapped around his length, he nearly sobbed with pleasure. And then he broke it, licking his fingers and reaching around, and Sasuke knew what was coming, knew it was essentially the same as every other time they'd done this, because after all, there were only so many things that they could possibly do in only so many ways, and they had been doing this for years, and yet…and yet…

_I know what he means, about how this still feels so new, so good, so terrifying and so consuming all at once. It's safe, but at the same time…like flying, like falling, like running blind even though you know where you're going…with Naruto…it feels like…like…_

_The world is breaking apart and being put back together all at once, every instant, and I have to hold onto him, because I don't want to be separated…even though he's just as much a part of me as my hands, my eyes, my legs, the whole of me…_

_Or like coming home suddenly, when you didn't realize it was there waiting for you, and suddenly we touch, and we see that yes…yes, this is perfect, and nothing could ever, ever be better than this._

_There really is no perfect way to describe it. But I think…I think he feels the same way I do. And if that's true…I really don't have anything to worry about. Nothing could be better than this._

----------

"Guess who's back?" Tenten gave Shino a wry grin as she came home that day, dropping off her books on the desk and closing the bedroom door to drown out some of the noise coming from across the hall.

"Come here," Shino set aside his lab report and reached out to her from where he sat on the bed. She had no desire to resist him. "They are noisy." He admitted after enveloping her in his embrace and kissing her twice, once on the mouth and again gently on her forehead. "After we're married, would you like some sort of honeymoon? They could be as noisy as they wanted here and we could spend all day in a hotel."

"Let's take our honeymoon during winter break." Tenten insisted. He had already suggested this, and while it was very sweet that he wanted to whisk her away somewhere, she was pregnant and only partway through the first term of her senior year of college. Now was not the time for whisking anyone anywhere. "I've lived next to them all this time, I think I can manage. Besides, after a couple days, they'll go back to wanting do it all over the house and that'll make this the most peaceful room in the house."

"Only one more week." He kissed her forehead again, then her closed eyelids and her cheeks, and finally found her mouth. "Do you think it will be different, being married?"

"Not so different." She smiled warmly, and he smiled back, happy in this moment, with this person, with the reassuring bump under her shirt, where his hand was irresistibly drawn in a protective urge he didn't want to fight.

"Do you think it will be different having a baby?" he asked, his tone softer now, almost a whisper, and she smiled in a way that made it seem like she knew something secret, something amazing and arcane, something that she couldn't ever explain in a way that he could ever hope to understand.

"Tomorrow, we'll find out whether it's a boy or a girl." She spoke after a long, comfortable silence had passed. "Tell me…which do you hope for?"

"I just want it to be ours, boy or girl, it won't matter," he answered. She'd been trying to get him to pick a preference almost since she found out she had conceived, and he refused to give in. In truth…he was so happy they would be having a child, he hadn't thought of details like that. He just wanted a family with this woman who had so changed him, had given him a happiness he never thought possible, had given him all the love and acceptance he had ever wanted and never received, and then some.

"Oh, but you said boy first," she smiled wickedly. "So it's a boy, then?"

"I think you want to give our child a complex." He shook his head at her. "You know even if I could pick, it would likely be the other, and even though I'd be just as happy, somehow it would know and I'd feel guilty forever."

"Well, it makes sense you'd want an heir," she went on teasing him. "A boy to carry on your name."

"A girl would do the same, and in any case, I don't want our child to grow up under that kind of pressure." He told her seriously, trying not to smile and failing.

"So you _do_ want a girl?" she snatched onto his comment at once. "You know, she might look nothing like me."

"Whatever our child looks like, it will be ours, and I will love it." He insisted, and she arched an eyebrow, attempting to look doubtful, but then she collapsed in happy giggles, and he hooked an arm around her waist, pulling her down so that she was resting on him as he lay stretched out on their bed.

"You could be a politician, you're too good at this." She told him as she recovered from her giggles. So far, he had seen that whatever moods she'd gone through had been like this. Bouts of exuberant happiness, and then as well bouts of depression. He smiled with her when she laughed, and when she cried, he held her close and did his best to reassure her. He just wanted her to be happy, and he wanted them to build a future together. He would do anything to see that happen. Initially, recalling how moody Ino had been when she was pregnant, something he'd borne close witness too since Tenten had been her roommate at the beginning of it, he had been nervous of what sort of monster his beloved Tenten would become during her own pregnancy, but she had dealt with it all quite well so far. She was just starting to show, and Shikamaru had warned him that was when he'd have to watch out he didn't say anything about her size, referencing times when Ino had completely misconstrued even his compliments as criticisms. But Shino was excited. The idea of her body, swollen with his baby…it was something that seemed amazingly beautiful to him…and in fact Shikamaru _had_ told him that he had found Ino to be glorious in the late stages of pregnancy, even with the rapid-fire mood swings.

He kissed Tenten and held her tight, thinking of their future, thinking of the road that was slowly forming before him. It might not be exactly what he had wanted five or ten years ago, or what he might have expected at those times. However…it was exactly what he wanted now, and he knew that with Tenten…his life could only continue to be better.

He thought of Aki, so sweet and adorable, and then of the son he had thought he had briefly a couple years ago. He put these emotions and hopes together with that firm rounding pressing against him now so reassuringly.

Yes, either a girl or a boy. Either one would be wonderful.

----------

To be Continued…


	14. Chapter 14

If I Fall

Chapter 14

----------

"Hey," Sakura set a cup of coffee in front of Shikamaru and sat down across from him with her bowl of cereal. "We need to talk."

"Mrphm?" Shikamaru muttered around a mouthful of Poptart that he was eating without even going to the trouble of toasting it.

"I know you're not usually at your best this early, but I promise to keep this brief." She leaned in, sipping her own coffee as she waited for the glassy dullness that indicated Shikamaru was mostly asleep on his feet to clear away to some extent. "Drink the coffee." She ordered, figuring that if it worked for Ino he was probably used to just being told what to do at this point. He sipped it without question but was still clearly out of it.

"What…time?" he might have been about to ask something else, but he yawned hugely, turned his attention back to his Poptart and munched at it steadily while Sakura shoveled cereal in her mouth waiting for the cobwebs to clear a little. "Today…is Saturday?" he managed finally.

"Yes." She nodded sharply. He frowned at his coffee, set down his half-eaten pastry and stood up shakily. "What is it? Where are you going?" she stood up, scowling as he tottered away from the table.

"I…need to go back to bed." He managed, yawning again and stretching so majestically his shirt rode up and showed an inch of flesh. "'sit even noon yet?"

"There's no _rule_ about when to wake up on the weekends." She chided him. "And you're meant to be up. Remember, you have to work."

"Like…with a student?" he blinked at her blearily, and Sakura shook her head in disbelief. She had a newfound respect for Ino, who was out right now with Tenten, and had delegated this task to her. "Studying?"

"Yes, that's right." She finally managed, simply standing up and steering him back to his chair, deciding that being friendly wasn't getting her anywhere, she needed to be forceful. "You remember, the wedding's today so you promised Ino you'd get your other stuff out of the way. You rescheduled your session with Shiori to ten in the morning."

"Ten? On a Saturday?" Shikamaru sipped at the coffee, his face drawn in disbelief, a hint of recognition flashing behind his eyes. "What was I thinking…"

"That the wedding's at noon, and you want to be ready so she doesn't punch you." Sakura reminded him. "You know…I've noticed that Shiori comes over a lot more than the other students you're tutoring."

"She needs lots of help." Shikamaru frowned at his Poptart, bit into it, and then curled his arms on the table and plopped his head into them, crumpling the last bit of the pastry as he let his eyes slip closed. "Always…mmfrmm…annaffrim."

"Shikamaru, please don't go back to sleep." Sakura sighed and had a sudden vision of Ino trying to get both Aki and Shikamaru out of bed in the morning, and felt another surge of respect and sympathy for her friend. "Shikamaru, seriously, it's ten till, you need to finish your coffee and go get dressed." In response he let out a soft snore, and Sakura pursed her lips, trying to think of what Ino might do in this situation. She must have ways of handling this. After all, she hadn't noticed him losing jobs and skipping classes every day. Mostly she let him nap after class. How did she control him? "Shikamaru!" she snapped, trying to make herself sound like Ino.

He didn't even move.

"Shikamaru, dammit." Sakura leaned over the table and smacked him over the top of the head with one hand. His eyes opened and he straightened, blinking at her as though he had never seen her before. She stood up, moved back around the table and forcing the coffee into his hand, taking on the pose she had seen Ino adopt more than once when lecturing Shikamaru about one thing or the other. "Drink it all." She placed her hands on her hips and set her jaw, scowling at him as best she could. Shikamaru blinked at her once more before turning to the coffee, drinking it hurriedly as though he wasn't sure he really wanted to push her. "Now go change your clothes! You can't tutor anyone in your pajamas."

"I—" Shikamaru looked as though he was going to argue, but then he thought better of it, picked a few crumbs off the table and popped them in his mouth before heading upstairs, grumbling under his breath. Sakura was annoyed. She had really meant to use this as an opportunity to speak with Shikamaru in private, which was why she had so readily volunteered to do this for Ino and let the blonde enjoy going to go with Tenten to get her hair done. However, it was quickly becoming clear to her that Shikamaru wasn't much good for anything this soon after waking up. She shoveled down the rest of her cereal and walked upstairs with her coffee cup in hand, navigating the gates and stairs carefully. Last week, Sai had spilled water on the stairs and had been reamed out by Temari until Sakura had been able to get him away with a warning and some mopping. She really didn't want to be next.

It was tempting to just forget about this, to just go to her own room as soon as she mounted the stairs, but she headed down the hall and leaned on the wall next to Shikamaru's door, glancing down at her watch while sipping her coffee. She gave him until it was five minutes until his study session and knocked ominously, finishing off her coffee and pursing her lips as she heard some cursing and what sounded like a person falling flat on their face. After a bit, he opened the door, in the process of tying his hair back, his shirt buttoned incorrectly, socks mismatched, and a surly scowl on his face.

"How do you get _anything_ done?" Sakura set down her cup and reached out, fixing his buttons for him in a business-like manner. "You're lucky Ino watches out for you."

"I did get here on my own, you know." He grumbled, suffering her care with the same scowl aimed straight at her. "She didn't get me to school when I was a kid."

"But…you know, Shikamaru." Sakura felt now was probably as good a time as any and plunged onward. "I know you're happy with her. That you feel lucky and everything."

"I married her, didn't I?" Shikamaru frowned at her still more deeply and Sakura bent, picking up her cup to walk with him toward the stairs. "I didn't even want a girlfriend before she came along. Now look at me."

"It's just…well, I know you get jealous when guys hit on her…or even a bit when she comes onto them, even though mostly she's joking around." Sakura continued. "But you know, sometimes she can feel jealous, too."

"Ha, yeah, 'cause I could _possibly_ get someone better." Shikamaru snorted as they reached the front foyer. "No, she knows what I think, and I don't think she'd be jealous if she saw ten naked women climbing all over me. She's…well, she knows."

"You should just…well, just make sure." Sakura lost her nerve then, and felt guilty for meddling, so she kissed his cheek and fled back upstairs to the sanctuary of Sai. She forgot to even get rid of her cup, so she set it on the desk and climbed into bed, where he was awake, reading a book with only his underwear on. Sai seemed to not understand the idea of being self-conscious, but Sakura wasn't about to issue a complaint.

"If Temari sees you have dishes in your room, I hear there is a dungeon she will lock you in and force you to scrub the walls." Sai warned her in a solemn tone. She giggled and he set his book aside in favor of her. Sai was so sweet and easy to be around, so much easier to handle than Shikamaru. Too bad for Ino.

And he really did look good, sprawled half naked on the bed they shared, his skin nearly the same color as the sheets, but infinitely softer to the touch. It was too much for her to resist, at least. After all, there was still time before the wedding, and she needed cheering up after her failed attempt to interact with half-awake Shikamaru. It wasn't that the lazy man was a bad person, but compared to Sai…for her, at least, there could be no comparison.

----------

"She looks really happy, doesn't she?" Naruto breathed, watching Tenten standing flushed and glowing, staring up at Shino with a single-minded focus. "Really beautiful."

"An autumn wedding is unexpectedly nice." Gaara nodded solemnly on one side while on the other, Sasuke squeezed his hand in agreement. "I like the leaves."

"The red ones are my favorite." Neji opined, his meaning not subtle and certainly not lost on his lover who leaned against him, sighing happily as he felt the familiar arm wrap around his shoulder.

"Yes, look at all the colors," Temari, right in front of them, turned back and smiled, Kiba looping an arm around her neck and planting a kiss on her forehead. "It's not even cold out."

"I'm glad it didn't rain." Naruto agreed. "And Aki's being so good."

"I think she's asleep," Sakura, standing just in front of Naruto pointed at the small child resting quite still in her father's arms. "Shikamaru must be jealous."

"So…after this do we get to go drinking?" Kankurou asked, and Temari shot him a withering look just as the rings were being exchanged. The couple, not very far away, and seemingly in their own world, didn't notice their friends at all, as they were so lost in each other.

"Once again, Aki proves better-behaved than Kankurou." Sai smiled softly and turned to Sakura, his eyes gleaming with pleasure. Soon, this would be them, soon they would be getting married. Soon, she might even be carrying his child. Soon, they would be a family, bound together even more firmly than they were in that moment.

"I am happy for them," Hinata was clutching her own husband's hand, as if to assure him that he belonged here just as the rest of them did. "It is a lovely wedding, and very intimate."

"I'm glad his parents came." Sakura offered, smiling at the two pairs of parents watching nearby, eyeing each other a bit cautiously. She wondered if they had ever met before today. "I knew Tenten's would…but it must mean a lot to have them here as well."

"But seriously, I mean, we have to have a party after this." Kankurou told them. "They don't even get their honeymoon until later, they need a bitching party."

"How very romantic and selfless of you." Temari arched a brow at her brother. "You think only of others' happiness, don't you?"

Any response he could have been about to offer was cut out by an ominous rumble. Everyone looked up at the sky as though waiting for this weather to suddenly break, even in the midst of this happy moment. Tenten and Shino were the first to recover, and the judge haltingly told them that they were now officially married. Shino, always so reserved and calm, pulled his wife to him with a suddenness that caused her to let out a little yelp, and he kissed her fiercely, his hands bunching in the back of her dress and crinkling the fabric. Taken slightly by surprise, she took a moment to return the embrace as fiercely as he was offering it to her, and when she did, it was as though she couldn't breathe, and her whole world was focused on him. If he let her go, she thought she might disappear, but instead he held her tightly, making sure she knew without a doubt who she was and that she was loved and needed here, by his side forever.

_I'm married now._

It didn't seem real, even with the white dress and his neatly pressed suit, the leaves swirling around them in a fiery twist of color, with her friends around her smiling and wishing them well, the feel of the ring still slightly cool on her left hand, none of it could possibly be true. She felt his hand clasp hers tightly and there was the clink of their rings sliding against each other, and _that_, that at least seemed like something she could process, something within the realm of possibility. His mother was actually _hugging _her, and so surely this must all be some weird daydream she was having, because his mother would likely never hug Tenten if it was the last thing she did.

And then the sky broke open and it began raining.

It was the jar to reality that she needed, and she found herself smiling up at Shino, her hair coming out of the elaborate set of twists and curls it had been pulled up into, her bangs plastered to her forehead as the water poured down at a torrential pace. He was smiling as well, and she needed to kiss him, so she did. Then they both started laughing, as though this was some joke, something they had planned. She could see suddenly a flash of them in the future, older, but still happy, telling their children about this day.

_And as soon as we were married, it started pouring down rain, didn't it?_

Their laughter, mingling together and tethering her more firmly to this moment, this memory, the truth of it, would sound the same then as it did now. Was this a bad omen? No…no, she didn't think so. The rain felt nice on her face, washing away everything that stood between them and bringing them closer together. It was like the skies were opening up for them, showing them something. If they could stand together in the rain and cold and be so happy, nothing should really ever have a chance of driving them apart. She wasn't sure that meant everything would be easier from now on, but as she let herself be ushered into a car so they could get out of the rain, she couldn't stop smiling, she couldn't stop the happiness she felt from overflowing. At least in this moment, she knew for sure that this was what she wanted, what they both wanted, and there was nothing better than that.

"So what's it like, then?" Naruto had somehow been squashed into the car next to her, Shino still firmly on her other side. She blinked, trying to take in her surroundings more clearly and saw that this was Temari's car, saw Kiba in front next to her and had the sudden thought that whichever vehicle Sasuke had ended up in was probably regretting the separation from Naruto, as he probably was rather irate at that moment. She was glad she was next to the friendlier one of them, the one more likely to take everything in stride. "I mean, it's only been like five minutes, but still, you're married now."

"I don't know yet," she admitted, turning to smile again at Shino, and realized their rings were no longer clinking since he was holding her left hand with his right, but there, on the armrest of the car, she could see his own ring gleaming sedately and naturally, as if it had always been there. She would have thought it would be odd to see him with any sort of jewelry on, but it turned out that he looked good, his long fingers looked no less nimble, no less careful, no less familiar. "Probably mostly the same, but it's still…have you ever been in a moment, and realized while it was happening…this is something I'm always going to remember, this day is probably going to be as clear to me in ten years as it is now, I'll probably always think of this moment as one of those turning points in my life…have you ever realized that while it's happening? Because…that's what getting married was like. I keep thinking, I better remember this, I better remember just how everything looked, who was here, what I was wearing, what Shino's wearing, the words we spoke, everything…but then I realize that it would be impossible for me to forget, and I can feel the memory kind of…cementing itself, you know? Everything about today…I'm sure I'll always remember it."

"I agree," Shino nodded after a brief pause from both men. In front, Kiba was talking in a low tone with Temari, and they couldn't hear what the couple was saying, so it was likely they couldn't hear anything Tenten had just said, either. "I don't think I could say it any better than that. I feel like…even though we have been together a long time, now it is somehow…it is like I have said to the entire world, so that they all know, this is my _wife_, and I am her husband. We belong to each other, be belong together, and now…now everyone knows it at once."

"Not like I have 'property of Shino' tattooed on my forehead," Tenten elaborated, giving her husband a teasing smile, "but also, this," she let go of his hand for the moment to display her ring, the plain silver band that matched Shino's nestled against the engagement ring she'd already been wearing since summer, "everyone can see this, they look at my left hand, and they'll know that I'm married, and they'll know that there's someone important to me…someone I wanted to be with forever, so I made him my family."

"I guess…I understand that." Naruto's voice was slightly pained when he finally responded to the explanation. "It must…must be nice."

"But…it's not necessary! I mean, really it's this social contract that used to be something like ownership, and women would be sold and traded and wouldn't really have any rights…it's sort of antiquated to buy into it and it's not like it makes me love Shino any more or less…" Tenten babbled aimlessly, having suddenly realized how this must sound to someone like Naruto, someone who probably wanted those things, but was in love with someone he could not marry unless their society changed. _And the fact that our country won't allow it…it must make him want that much more to have everyone recognize their relationship…and yet he has to be patient and be satisfied with what he has, with what assurances they can give each other. It's so unfair…why should anyone have the right to say that the way I love Shino is any better or more real than the way Naruto loves Sasuke?_

"Don't feel guilty," Naruto grabbed her right hand, squeezing it lightly in reassurance as Shino reclaimed her left, his thumb brushing over the rings. "I know I can't marry Sasuke, I know that, and I know it doesn't mean I don't love him, that he doesn't love me or anything…"

"Naruto," Temari had apparently overheard the last part of the conversation. "I think someday things will change, and even if they aren't…well, you know we all recognize you. And Gaara and Neji, I think they have just as much of a right to happiness as any other couple. You know that we all think so, right?"

"Thanks, Temari," Naruto gave her a wobbly smile, trying to ignore the way Kiba was watching him through the rearview mirror, trying not to see the concern in his friend's eyes, the pity and the sympathy. "I know…I just…"

"It's okay, Naruto." Kiba offered then. "Isn't the whole point to say to everyone that this is the person you're committed to, that you're going to stay by them no matter what? Well, people do get divorced, so really it isn't necessarily more than anything else, just usually people don't get married right as soon as they think they might have something, so I guess there's that…" Kiba scowled, clearly not happy with the direction of what he was saying, possibly noticing the warning look Temari was shooting him. "I mean…no ceremony makes you love someone more. You've already stuck by Sasuke through some really fucked up shit, and no matter what dumbass stuff he does, you're always there for him, right? And he's always watching out for you, and he forgives you for anything, even though he's like the most begrudging guy ever, he just can't say no to you. So what's some priest or judge going to be able to say that we don't already all know? Marriage is fine, but it's like Tenten said, it's not necessary. It's not like you level off or something, and you aren't allowed to keep on being together unless you go through with it."

"Kiba…thanks." Naruto had released Tenten's hand and was staring at his lap fixedly, fidgeting slightly, and Tenten thought she saw an extra brightness to his eyes, so she tactfully looked away, not wanting to embarrass him further, whether or not he was crying.

"It's still unfair." Temari grumbled after awhile, not aware that Naruto had completely subsided at this point, as she was concentrating on navigating through the downpour and safely returning them all home. "I don't want to get married until everyone's allowed to."

There was a long, deep silence. Tenten felt a little guilty, but also slightly angry, as though she'd just been criticized for selfishly wanting to marry the man she loved when other people couldn't do the same thing. Naruto was a bit shocked, but no one seemed more startled than Kiba.

"Wh…what?" he spoke finally, and it was obvious that everyone in the back was watching Temari and him quite carefully now. "You never said…"

"Well, it isn't fair, is it?" Temari seemed angrier the more she thought about it. "Why should I be allowed to get married when my own brother can't? How is that fair, when Neji and him have been together so much longer than us?"

"So now you're saying that because of them being together longer, they're like a more legitimate couple than us?" Kiba's voice was suddenly low and very steady, but Shino could see from the angle he was sitting at the way his hands were clenched in fists, and he suddenly felt very uncomfortable, as though he was invading on an extremely private scene. At the same time…he understood what Temari was saying, but he didn't think it was very tactful of her to denounce marriage so completely with a newlywed couple in her backseat, even if it had only been meant to make Naruto somehow feel better. Not that depriving other people of any part of happiness was in any way likely to ever make Naruto feel better about anything, but that was really the only reason he could think of that someone so normally considerate of others would make such an insensitive comment.

"I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that they have an equal right to be married, and I refuse to take part in an institution that discriminates against people who are just as worthy and casts a social stigma on them." She told him, her voice extremely tight and starting to become a bit high.

"Well, I just think this might have been a nice conversation for us to have before you announced it to our friends!" Kiba snapped at her, and she shot a quick glare at him before returning her attention to the road.

"What, you think it's fine that we could get married and they can't?" she asked, her back going extremely straight.

"No, I don't think it's fine at all, but I also don't think you should say how you think it's crap right in front of freaking Shino and Tenten. I mean, fuck, they just got married like ten minutes ago, now you're telling them it's like a total scam and you won't have anything to do with it!" Kiba was definitely raising his voice now, and Naruto gave Tenten a desperate look, as though he felt he was the cause of this fight and wanted to somehow make it right, but wasn't sure how. "And seriously, don't you think that's something between you and me if we decide we want to get married or not, not something you just drop in casual conversation? Like, 'oh, what's this, it's raining pretty hard,' 'oh yeah, I'm never going to marry Kiba,' 'is that so, very interesting.' Like, what the fuck, Temari! You think that I don't have any say in anything!"

"I didn't mean it like that! I'm stating my opinion, and it was relevant to the conversation! It's not like I brought it up out of nowhere." She snapped back. "And I'm not saying that I think Shino and Tenten did anything wrong, it's no more than if they voted for something I didn't, it's a political decision, it's nothing against you in particular, and you have _never_ shown any interest in politics, so don't start on me now!"

"I think it's pretty fucking personal!" Kiba shot back. "You think because I'm not interested in every damn representative from every fucking prefecture I don't give a shit about the world? Well, even if I did only care about my own life, when you come out of nowhere, without even discussing it with me and say you're just not going to ever marry me, well shit! I mean, what the fuck do you want from me? You want me to prove myself by fucking changing all the laws and shit!? Sorry, I don't have the money to buy out a bunch of votes, so I'll just have to leave that end of things to you!"

"I would _never_ buy out votes!" Temari snarled at him, pulling in front of the house with such a vicious wrench of the wheel Naruto thought they were going to fly over the curb and right into the lawn. "And even if I _did_ discuss it with you in private, you're not going to force me to do something I don't want to do if I don't want to do it! And I don't see what the big deal is, it's not like you've proposed to me! It's not like you ever said _anything_ about _ever_ wanting to marry me! Don't get all high and might with me now just because I'm taking the option off the table! And anyway, it isn't like I said I _never_ would, I just said as long as things are this way—"

"You might as well say never, it's not going to change any time soon!" Kiba cut her off, and she slapped him across the face with a resounding smack of her hand.

"It's nice to see you have so much hope for the future!" she had tears of frustration in her eyes, "And speaking of tactless things to say, nice job calling gay marriage doomed forever with Naruto _right_ behind you!"

"I don't really—" Naruto tried to interject, as much as Kiba's comment had stung, he didn't want to make things worse.

"You're the one who's insisting that we get all this out right in front of our friends!" Kiba snapped back. "So if you don't want to marry me, what the hell is the point of this relationship again?"

"You're the one who said that's not all there is!" Temari burst into tears, and it seemed like she was going to slap him again, but she clenched her hands into fists instead, and then yanked the keys out of the ignition. "Asshole!" she stumbled slightly on her way out of the car, slammed the door behind her and raced inside. In the backseat, everyone was frozen, watching Kiba, who was now uncomfortably aware of the attention.

"I didn't mean anything bad against you, Naruto." Kiba mumbled after a long moment, and the blonde nodded slightly, feeling very numb. He hadn't expected the car ride to be quite so eventful. "I mean, I totally wish you guys could…if you wanted to. I just…don't think it's fair that one person chooses everything and the other just has to go along with whatever."

"It's fine, don't worry about it." Naruto nodded sharply, as if to convince himself that it was, in fact, fine. Kiba licked his lips, turned as though about to say something else and shook his head, leaving the car and going inside, hopefully to make up with Temari. Naruto turned toward Tenten and Shino, offering a tremulous smile.

"Well…that was exciting." Tenten finally spoke, and they all left the car. Shino wanted to carry Tenten, and Naruto joked that they would fall in the mud, at which point Tenten smacked him over the head with her bouquet, which she realized in the rush, she hadn't thrown or done anything with, just letting it sit in her lap the whole way back. In the end, the boys both helped her inside, lifting the skirts up so that she wouldn't ruin the dress she was wearing, laughing probably more than the situation warranted just to ease the tension that had been built up on the ride home.

"Oh, Tenten!" Ino rushed to her as soon as they got inside, all three of them dripping a bit on the entryway from the rain they'd walked through just getting to the house from the car. "Oh, your hair! Naruto, did you get pictures before it rained?"

"Of course, what do you think I am?" Naruto scoffed, putting on a superior air that was more posturing than anything. Tenten could see he was feeling uneasy and trying to hide it. "She still looks great, though, doesn't she?"

"You are far too kind, Naruto." Tenten ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek affectionately. This might have normally bothered Shino, who wasn't too fond of her showing affection to any of their male friends outside of casual hugs and things, but it was obvious he understood the situation, and was willing to let this pass without comment or concern on his end.

"You have to throw the bouquet still!" Ino pointed to the bunch of flowers, slightly damp still from the sudden shower. "We can do it here, just stand on the stairs, everyone else is home already," she peered around into the living room. "Hey guys! Tenten's going to throw the bouquet!"

"What's the point?" Sasuke grumbled as he entered the foyer with the rest of their friends. The parents had left to their hotels, not wanting to intrude on the young people having a party, but Hinata and Suteru were there as well. "Isn't it to see which girl is getting married next? Just give it to Sakura, case closed."

"Hey, you don't know!" Ino insisted, and she looked around for other single women in their group and realized at once that there was only one. "Temari and Kiba could elope!"

"Don't bet on that." Kiba shot Temari a look so venomous that everyone who hadn't been out in the car now saw quite obviously that there was something going on between them.

"Well, fuck, there's only two single ladies," Kankurou, who apparently could also count, announced loudly. "More like one and a half, since Sakura's already engaged. Shit, this'll be like the quickest bouquet throw ever. I mean, unless we're counting Aki, but I'm really not gonna put any bets on her being next, much less being able to wrestle flowers out of Temari's death-grip."

"I don't think we have to…" Tenten mumbled, feeling uncomfortable as Ino ushered her through the baby gate and onto the first landing.

"This is pretty silly with only two of us." Sakura admitted as Ino pulled her forward, flushing slightly as she felt everyone's eyes on her. Temari, however, flatly refused to take part.

"I'm not interested in marriage." She hissed at Ino, though her eyes were glaring daggers at Kiba. "Any time in the foreseeable future."

"Oh come on, there has to be more than one person!" Ino threw up her hands after having her wrist smacked when she tried to pull Temari forward. "Sasuke, how about you? Neji?"

"Why am _I_ the woman?" Sasuke snarled.

"Well, the person on bottom usually—" Kankurou began helpfully and was smacked in the back of the head by his brother, who shook his head in silent disapproval. "Well geez, anyone who'd bottom for fucking Neji…" he seemed to think better of what he was saying partway through and gulped, edging away from a very angry redhead.

"Such a stereotype, simply because I have long hair." Neji sighed and rolled his eyes, trying with limited success to draw his lover's attention away from his sudden desire to maim his own brother.

"Is _anyone_ going to cooperate?" Ino stomped her foot down insistently, and no one answered, so she rolled her eyes and did little to pretend she wasn't annoyed when Tenten, feeling foolish, tossed the bouquet to a clearly embarrassed Sakura.

"You know, I had a small wedding so I wouldn't have to do all this stuff." Tenten pointed out gently, knowing that in a way, Ino was trying to recapture the feeling of the ceremony she claimed to have been cheated out of.

"Can we get to the drinking now?" Kankurou asked loudly, and laughter filled the entryway. "I'm gonna order pizza."

"Classiest reception _ever_." Tenten remarked dryly as she hitched her dress up and returned to her husband's side, taking more comfort than she should have even needed in the kiss that he immediately dropped on her lips when she reached him. "I hope there's some Beefeater, nothing says class like a fifth of gin."

"Not that you'll be drinking." Shino chided softly. "You know, we could just go back to our room…"

"No, I'm hungry." She nodded. "Pizza would be good, although yeah, no booze for me, thanks. And just do me a favor: don't drink so much we can't have sex tonight. I don't want to have to remember a sexless wedding night with my husband passed out in a whiskey coma on the ground in a puddle of his own vomit."

"Hey, don't you need to change before eating pizza?" Sakura tugged at Tenten's sleeves and did such an obvious job of shooting the brunette significant looks, arching her eyebrows and tilting her head, that Shino knew they were clearly up to something. "I can help you, you know."

"Oh, I don't think…oh, _oh_, okay, yes, thanks." Tenten let Sakura drag her away, and Shino frowned down at his tuxedo. He knew that Tenten thought it looked very nice, but he felt that if she got to change out of her dress, he should get to be comfortable, too.

"We should watch movies!" Ino was suggesting loudly. "Romantic comedies!"

"Is there any way I could want to kill myself more?" Sasuke asked her in a wry tone. Rather than telling him off for being cruel, Naruto looked rather subdued and followed Sasuke back into the living room without comment. Gaara felt immediate concern at this. Naruto had never hesitated to tell Sasuke he should be nicer in such a situation before, and the only thing that Gaara could think of was that he was upset about something. When he saw the way that Naruto grabbed Sasuke's sleeve and held it, he couldn't help feeling that Naruto looked like a puppy that had been kicked. Did Sasuke say something to Naruto to make him act this way?

"Look at Naruto," he whispered to Neji, tugging him toward the living room as well. "he seemed fine earlier…did something happen?"

"Other than that idiotic bouquet debacle, no." Neji flipped his hair and narrowed his eyes. Naruto didn't look happy, that was for sure. He looked as though he didn't want anyone to see him, and he couldn't help thinking that it did look like someone had said or done something to hurt the blonde's feelings. Considering how resilient Naruto was, Neji had to wonder who had said it, and what they had said. Also, how quickly Gaara would put them in the hospital when they found out. Of course, Neji might help, depending…

"We'll sit with them." Gaara nodded resolutely, as though this was a big change in their usual arrangements. Neji was now so accustomed to having Gaara and Naruto sit together while Sasuke and he sat on either side, he felt as though they'd been issued some sort of seating chart. However, there were always slight variations. For instance, Sasuke was on the couch, but Naruto had opted to sit on the floor between his legs, his arms curled around a leg like it was some sort of living banister, his head leaning against the knee with Sasuke's fingers idly moving through his hair. Gaara of course sat down on the ground next to Naruto at once, so Neji took the spot on the couch behind Gaara and next to Sasuke. He was fine with this arrangement, as he could also play with Gaara's hair while the heads of the two men on the ground leaned toward each other, not saying anything yet but likely soon to be exchanging whispered whatever-it-was those two spoke about all the time, and he enjoyed Sasuke's company, despite their past rocky patches. Admittedly, Sasuke had far more reason to dislike him than vice versa, but Neji couldn't help feeling that the opportunity to have sex with him had been more than adequate reparations for any problems in Sasuke's own relationships he had caused.

"Naruto upset?" he whispered, and Sasuke blinked at him, as though surprised to be reminded there were people that talked to him _other_ than Naruto. This was the look that preceded most conversations with Sasuke.

"Probably," Sasuke returned in a hushed tone as Ino and Kankurou engaged in a heated debate over whether or not Pumpkinhead was a romantic comedy appropriate for this quasi-reception party. "Think about it."

"What?" he frowned, looking down to see that Gaara had shifted so that he had an arm looped behind one of each Neji and Sasuke's legs, and hooked firmly around Naruto's waist. The blond had just heaved a great, shuddering sigh, and Neji was trying to figure out whether he was turned on or about to cry. He still wasn't exactly the master of reading Naruto's expressions, especially when he could only see about a quarter of his face. "You didn't fight, did you?"

"Would he be like this if we did?" Sasuke shook his head and furrowed his brow as though amazed at Neji's stupidity. "Think about it like he's probably thinking. He's an orphan, his whole life he's just wanted a family, wanted to find out what that means, what it's like, and he just spent all day watching two of his friends get married."

"But that doesn't…" Neji fell completely silent as the pieces fell into place, and he blinked in surprise at Sasuke. He would never have expected such emotional intuition from the Uchiha, that was for sure. But on the other hand, Sasuke had been immersing himself completely in everything that had anything to do with Naruto for the entirety of their college career, so if there was one person in the world that he would think Sasuke understood well, it would be Naruto. "Have you two ever…talked about that?"

"Of course," Sasuke sighed, unable to resist petting Naruto's head lovingly, smiling softly as the blonde head pushed into his hand and he let out a soft noise of contentment. "Have you?" he nodded toward the red head of hair resting below Neji.

"Yes, a few times." Neji shrugged. "But there isn't much to say, is there? We'd get married if we could, but we can't. It's not something we'd leave each other for; neither of us wants marriage more than each other. End of discussion."

"Just because that's all there is to say doesn't make it hurt less for him." Sasuke shrugged, and Neji felt a surge of affection for this man. He sometimes thought that if he had never met Gaara, there might have been something real between Sasuke and him. He certainly felt that of all his friends, Sasuke knew him the best, and the fact that they could both understand each other so well without having to drag everything out into conversation was something that he felt few people could appreciate, but he certainly did. In any case, he had built up a real affection for Naruto over time, and to know that Sasuke saw so clearly what Naruto felt, what he wanted and what he hid from others, made Neji pleased. He took his hand out of Gaara's hair, slinging it casually behind Sasuke's shoulders, only barely touching, but still making a clear statement. He put his other hand back in place in Gaara's hair, causing his lover to look up to see what the cause of the shift had been. Rather than glare at Sasuke, as he might have two years, or even one year ago, he gave a soft, approving smile and settled down again, murmuring something softly to Naruto. It was nice.

The argument between Kankurou and Ino over what was an appropriate movie was still raging. She kept denouncing all of his suggestions as too scary, and he retorted that her suggestions were even scarier to him. She had returned this volley by commenting that he was the only one here afraid of commitment, and Kiba had let out a loud, abrasive laugh before going to the kitchen to fix himself a drink. Kankurou was now torn between getting a drink for himself or continuing the argument.

"Well I'm not fucking watching anything with Meg Ryan in it unless she's like a fucking zombie! It's almost Halloween!" Kankurou insisted.

"Would you keep your language under control? _Some_ of us have children present!" she gestured majestically over to where Shikamaru was playing what appeared to be patty cake with Aki, who did not at all seem concerned by her mother's agitation. "And it _isn't_ Halloween yet! It's Shino and Tenten's wedding day! We have to watch romantic stuff."

"Do Tenten and Shino get any say in this?" Tenten entered the room, now wearing normal clothes, and had taken her hair down so that it fell in a shining black sheet over her back. Shino immediately rushed to change as well, feeling it was distinctly unfair that he had to be the only one all dressed up. "And did you already order the pizzas?"

"Yeah, duh," Kankurou scoffed as though the question was ridiculous in the extreme. "So I know Tenten's gonna be on my side here. Shouldn't we watch like, a scary movie instead of some bullshit love-fest? I mean, if you wanted crap like that, you'd get married in one of those love months. Like…February. That's when Valentine's Day is, right?"

"And I continue to question your ability to keep a girlfriend _why_?" Ino scoffed, looking to Temari for support and seeing her nursing a rum and coke and looking extremely withdrawn, a scowl on her face. "Right, Temari?" she prompted, knowing that if ever she could find an ally against showing a scary movie at a wedding after-party, it would be Temari, who seemed sometimes to side against Kankurou on principle alone.

"Yeah," Temari shrugged, and Kiba shot her another look of pure venom.

"Um, what the heck is going on with you two?" Ino scowled, annoyed at the lack of cooperation from the person she'd most been counting on to side with her. She had a shrewd idea that Tenten and Shino were so pleased with themselves that the movie choice could be a documentary on bridge construction and they wouldn't have any problem with it.

"Man, did Temari cut you off or something, Kiba?" Kankurou started laughing as though this was the best joke he'd heard in a long time. "Man, I fucking told you, just do what she says or she'll chop your dick off."

"Shut the fuck up, ya goddamn idiot." Kiba snapped, and at the sudden feel of everyone's gaze swiveling to him, he grumbled something unintelligible, slammed back his drink and went back to the kitchen. Temari muttered something under her breath and made a mocking face after him. Hinata looked alarmed, clapped her hands over her mouth and followed him to try and bring him back, leaving Suteru feeling very alone and very uncomfortable in the room with her friends.

"No one's allowed to break up at the wedding party." Ino stated loudly, and Shikamaru heaved a sigh.

"Just leave them alone, Ino." He told his wife, bouncing their daughter on his lap and tilted his head. "Come on, just pick something and come sit down."

"Yes, for god's sake reign her in." Temari grumbled, and Tenten pursed her lips, looked over at the extremely subdued Naruto and bit her lip, trying to decide whether she'd rather just let this blow over, or if she should interfere.

"Hey there, queenie," Ino scowled, extremely annoyed that her assumed ally had turned so completely against her. "Don't start in on me. It's not my fault your boyfriend's sick of the short leash."

"Someone should put _you_ on a leash." Temari snarled, and Sakura turned to her in surprise.

"Temari, let's all just have a nice time, okay?" she sat down next to the annoyed blonde, who shot her a smoldering glare. "Come on, it's a happy day, isn't it? Tenten and Shino are married, everyone let's just get along, okay?"

"Oh screw off, Ms. Perfect, go make your perfect baby with your perfect boyfriend and have your perfect fucking wedding and leave me the fuck alone!" Temari stormed out of the room, and Sakura froze completely, eyes wide, unsure of how to react or what to think of what had just happened.

"Sakura, in many ways I think you are perfect, but I do not think it is something to hold against you." Sai told her, patting her arm reassuringly, a bit confused himself and not sure what exactly he should say.

"Yeah, see, no one's in the mood for bullshit romance," Kankurou threw up his hands. "We're watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre!"

"Kankurou, if you think I'm okay with Aki watching that, go ahead and put it in and see what I do to your _head_." Ino threatened. "And you can be the one to try and get her to sleep when she has nightmares."

"Whatever, she fucking loved Resident Evil." Kankurou snorted, and both Ino and Shikamaru gave him a look of such rage and shock he giggled nervously. "Come on Aki, who's a zombie? Show Uncle Kankurou how the zombies go!"

"Graraw!" Aki pulled a grotesque face and gnashed her teeth, "Aki zommy! Raww!"

"Great, thanks." Ino rolled her eyes and blinked as she found her lap full of toddler, and Shikamaru lunged at Kankurou, looking ready to strangle him.

At precisely that moment, all the lights went out and another roll of thunder, this one louder than those they'd been hearing since after the wedding, sounded over the yelps and shrieks of surprise. A bolt of lightning followed soon after, the light illuminating the tableau of Shikamaru chasing Kankurou, who was clearly trying to use the dark to escape, everyone else frozen and watching it happen, Ino holding Aki close while the little girl looked around in surprise.

"You guys stop freaking out, you're scaring Aki." Ino scolded her housemates as the sound of scuffling in the hallway and the rain still pounding down filled the space left when all the power went out. The little girl made another growling noise, belying her mother's claim that she was afraid of the sudden dark and the sound of the storm.

"Is the power going to come back on?" Sakura asked the room in general after another crack of thunder and flash from outside. "Or should I start looking for candles or something?"

"Let me go flip the breakers, see if that helps." Chouji made his way back out of the room just as Kankurou scrambled back in.

"Shit, guys, hide me!" he pleaded, and was rewarded with a snort of laughter from Ino.

"Honey! He's in here!" she called out, and there was the sound of footsteps, a sound like something being hit very hard, and Kankurou whimpered quietly before Shikamaru moved toward where the pale light coming through the window showed his location to everyone in the room, their eyes growing used to the dark.

"Isn't there a flashlight or something in this house?" Ino asked, allowing her husband to take their daughter back when he made his way back over to her.

"I thought there was in the coat closet, right? Temari would know." Tenten stood up, carefully making her way out of the room towards the front entry to find the flashlight in question.

"Tenten, you shouldn't be up." Shino's voice caused her to pause in her cautious progress across the living room, and she smiled in the dark, veering toward where she thought the voice had come from. "You could fall or something."

"I promise I'll avoid stairwells." She told him softly, reaching out blindly and taking a step forward. He met her partway, his arms going around her at once, enfolding her and pulling her into their shelter. "I'm getting a flashlight. There's one in the coat closet, isn't there?"

"I think so…here, let me," he tried to leave her behind, but she held his hand, shuffling carefully out of the room toward where the closet was and fumbling around together, laughing when a roll of wrapping paper fell on her head, and then suddenly there was light. "Got it." He aimed it at the ceiling, giving his face a slightly haunting under-lit appearance, and she took advantage of it to lean over and kiss him firmly.

"Hero of the power outage." She whispered lightly, smiling against his lips, and he chuckled lightly. She took advantage of his distraction to take possession of the flashlight, moving into the kitchen in search of candles, Temari, or both. "Hey, Temari?"

"She's not in here." Kiba spoke up from the counter, where he was drinking straight from a bottle of rum. Hinata was standing near him, looking concerned and frightened, and she smiled nervously at Tenten. "Prob'ly writin' about 'er fuckin' Kampf upstairs."

"Haha, you're so funny." Tenten rolled her eyes. "Do you know if we have any emergency candles? I thought we had a bunch, didn't we have some when the power went out during that storm last January?"

"Oh, I think you're right," Hinata turned, hands shaking and started fumbling through the drawers. Kiba took a deep swig of the rum and gave Tenten a flat look as if challenging her to force him to help. "Maybe with the light bulbs…" there was more shuffling and Shino came into the kitchen as well to help, Tenten doing her best to light up as much of the room as possible to assist them.

"Hey, where are the circuit breakers in this house?" she asked and Hinata let out an excited noise and held up two boxes of candles.

"Down th' hall…by the back door, ya know, tha' big panel." Kiba answered, apparently forgetting to be no help at all. Scowling as he realized what he'd said, he took another deep swig and Hinata clicked her tongue in disapproval.

"Kiba, you shouldn't—"

"Hey, you can't tell me what to do." He huffed, and Tenten rolled her eyes, helping Shino prop the candles up in the half dozen holders in the back of the drawer Hinata had found them in and trying to ignore the way that Hinata was trying to persuade Kiba to turn over his bottle of rum.

"Come on, then, you don't need that." She told him, her voice gentle and warm, and Tenten looked up at Shino, arching her eyebrows as though to ask whether they should just let this unfold or interfere. He pursed his lips and searched through the drawer for matches, giving Hinata time to prevail, but it was clear from the slurred curses and the little whimpering complaints that she was getting nothing done except for annoying Kiba. "Please, Kiba, what would Temari say if she could see you doing this to yourself?"

"Prob'ly be excited." Kiba returned as Shino helped Tenten light a candle and then gathered the unlit ones to follow her with the lit candle, matches, and flashlight. "I was always gettin' wasted cuz of you, so she'd prob'ly jes think…I maybe meaned…men…meant…wha' I said."

"Kiba, please, you're not going to make her happy getting silly like this." Hinata sounded close to tears, so Tenten turned, but realizing she and Shino both had their hands full, she realized she couldn't just stay here trying to get sense out of Kiba, she'd have to just come back after she gave everyone candles in the living room. Shino and her kept on, crossing the entryway and intercepting Chouji, who let them know he'd tried the circuits and had no success.

"Hey, can you take these…I wanted to go help Hinata with Kiba, he's getting surly." Tenten held out the candle and matches, retaining the flashlight for herself and Chouji reached out, but Shino put himself between them, reaching out the hand with a box of candles in it.

"No way, I don't want my pregnant wife trying to subdue a surly drunken soccer player." Shino told her firmly. She was about to say something rather tart about how if she was only to be handled gently then she supposed they wouldn't be having any more sex until the baby came, but had a sudden fear that he would actually agree to this, so she bit her tongue and put up with his overprotective behavior. "Temari should take care of it, he's her problem."

"I could go…or I guess I could try to find Temari…" Chouji looked as though either one of these options had absolutely no appeal for him. "Or…something."

"No, don't worry, here," he handed all the unlit candles and holders to Chouji before taking one for himself, lighting it and kissing Tenten. "I'll take care of this."

"You're addicted to this hero thing, aren't you?" she teased him, smiling softly. She knew that Shino really hated interfering, and while he didn't necessarily hate _helping_ his friends, he was more of a behind-the-scenes sort of helper, not so much the holding-your-hair-while-you-puke, holding-the-rum-where-you-can't-reach sort of helper.

"I do what I can." He told her, a small smile on his lips. "After all, if there's any day I should choose to impress you as much as possible…you said you were remembering all of this forever, right?"

"Now you're just getting smarmy." She stuck her tongue out at him, very much the mature married woman as he winked and turned to take care of the Kiba situation, and she turned toward the living room. Shino couldn't help feeling pleased at the gleam in her eyes when he had volunteered to help their friends, but that didn't make him want to try wrestling a bottle of rum away from a surly Kiba by the light of a candle, nor did it make him want to be a party to any sort of confrontation between a drunken Kiba and his ex-girlfriend Hinata, who was now married to another man, especially considering the argument he had overheard that day between Temari and Kiba regarding marriage in general. He wasn't sure getting Temari there was the best idea, but he thought it was the best way for those two to just discuss their problems and move on with their lives. After all, avoiding each other wasn't going to solve anything, that was for sure. He decided that it was most likely she was in her room, and if so, unless she also had a flashlight up there, was probably stranded now that the sun had set and the power was out, unless she wanted to risk a repeat of Sasuke's graceful stair gymnastics.

Shino opened the gate and headed upstairs, noting that he could still hear the sounds of hushed arguing coming from the kitchen, which meant that he couldn't just go back to Tenten and say that Kiba decided he was sick of drinking and being surly whenever he fought with whoever he was dating at the time. As soon as he reached the top of the stairs, he turned and knocked on Temari's door, and frowned when there was no answer. He tried again before calling out her name, and when there was no answer, he carefully opened the door, to see the room was empty.

_Well, I'm out of ideas. Where does Temari go when she's angry?_

Logically, there were only so many places she could have gone if she hadn't actually left the house. She clearly wasn't in the kitchen or dining area, nor the living room as he had just been to all of those places. She wasn't in her own room, which meant she was either in the bathroom, which wouldn't make sense for such a long period of time unless she was showering or something, down in the den, or out in the back near the pool and the newly installed hot tub. He turned and headed to the window that overlooked the backyard, looking for someone outside, and saw no one. Well, that made sense. Who would go out in weather like this, especially for a swim? So she was either in the den or hiding in someone else's room. He wasn't going to check everyone's room, so he headed back downstairs, locking the gate again and then walked over to the front door so that he could make his way down to the den.

The doorbell rang. He frowned.

_Not exactly the weather for visitors._

Just as the thought struck him, thunder rumbled and the lightning following soon afterward lit up the windows in a blinding flash. He blinked and decided that it was probably more important not to leave people to the mercy of the elements on the front porch than it was to stop Kiba puking on the kitchen floor, so he answered the door, his candle guttering in the gust of cold air as the shivering figure came in at once. She looked familiar, but he wasn't sure he knew her, really. He wasn't going to force her out, but at the same time, he was very wary of strange women in the house with his pregnant wife and his friends.

"Excuse me, are you lost?" he asked her, trying to be polite. He closed the door, and the candle kept burning quite miraculously. The blonde girl smiled, shaking slightly with a chill from the change of temperature, her clothes dripping in the entryway.

_Maybe the sound of her messing up the floor will solve the problem of locating Temari. I believe she has some sort of radar about these things._

"My name is Shiori, I'm a friend of Shikamaru's," she grinned apologetically. "See, well, really, he tutors me, and I was over here earlier, and he loaned me a paper on television versus reality...see, we're studying it right now, and he mentioned he'd written a term paper concerning it, and I could make a copy if I liked…and I didn't want him to think I was going to just keep it, so after I'd made the copy I came to bring it back, but I got here and the doors were locked, no one was around, and then I got distracted with other errands and caught in the rain and a bit turned around, and then I saw his car on the street…well, I nearly started crying, you can't know how relieved I was. I'm freezing, and thought I'd drop off the paper, and maybe dry off a bit…wait out the storm if it isn't too much trouble. You see, I live all the way on the other side of campus, and I'm so afraid I'll get lost again, what with the lights out and all the rain and everything."

"Um…fine." Shino blinked, a bit overwhelmed by the length of this explanation, but the girl had blown herself out like a sort of miniature storm, and he found himself at a loss for words. "Well…Shikamaru's in there…last I saw, they have candles and things…I'm looking for someone right now, so I'll just…"

"No, thank you so much for letting me in out of the rain!" she exclaimed, her smile brilliant and exuberant and, he thought, a bit forced. He was used to Tenten's slow, easy smile, the way her eyes would light and show her wry humor in the twist of her lips and the tilt of her head. He didn't know about this young student girl with her long stories and her over-bright smiles.

"Whatever," he frowned uncomfortably and headed downstairs, and there he lifted the candle and peered around. "Hello? Temari, are you down here?"

"Who…Shino?" Temari had been on the couch, lying down apparently under an afghan, and she sat up at the sudden light and noise. "The power's out, I see."

"Yes, the storm." He felt that was adequate explanation. "Kiba's drinking himself into idiocy upstairs, if you feel like talking things out at all."

"That's his answer to _everything._" She scowled, but stood up and straightened her hair, coming around to follow him back upstairs. "I'll take care of it."

Shino didn't even follow her to the kitchen, he simply handed her the candle at the top of the stairs, pointed and then went to the living room, considering his mission accomplished.

The living room was in a furor, which seemed to center around the girl he'd let in, Shiori.

----------

"Kiba, please, don't act this way." Hinata clenched her hands together and frowned, wishing that Tenten and Shino had left one of the candles behind. "Come on, then, set the bottle down. You know she wouldn't want you drinking yourself foolish."

"Oh…shuddup, she ain'…ain' you, she don' care." Kiba frowned at his bottle, now nearly empty, though it was hard to tell by anything other than the weight of it in the near total darkness that surrounded them now. "Tha' was always…the problem wi' us. I was neb…nend…never gonna be good enough. Bet that S'teru doesen…don' drink like this…" he heaved a great sigh and handed her what felt like a completely full bottle of something she couldn't identify in the dark. She knew it wasn't his bottle, his bottle couldn't be this heavy still. "Here, grab tha' an' we can…can sit down an' do shots."

"Kiba, really," Hinata frowned. "You know I don't do that."

"C'mon, ya don' hafta act like that wit' me anymore, ya know we don' gotta…impress each other now." He slapped her shoulder heartily. "C'mon then, have…have a…one drink with me…fer ol' times sake."

"Kiba, I don't…I can't drink, you know I'm trying to…to…you know." She flushed, feeling unaccountably embarrassed considering the fact that she had once been pregnant with this man's child. "Suteru and I…I know that you must know…I mean, seeing as how things are, and we really want a family, so we've been trying a while…I shouldn't drink, you know."

"'Nata, drinkin's jes' gonna help ya wi' that, truss me." He wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulder and started toward the dining room table. "I mean…less yer pregnant…right now? Are ya?"

"No…no I'm not." And at the admission, suddenly Hinata _did_ want a drink, and it wouldn't be so bad, would it? Just one drink with her friend, with this man who knew her so well, who could understand what she was going through, she was sure, better than most anyone she could think of. And with the state he was in…he probably wouldn't remember anything she told him anyway. It would be nice to have someone besides Suteru to discuss her troubles with. She thought that no matter what, Suteru would never hold her accountable for anything, and right now…she wanted someone a little more honest. And then a thought struck her. "Okay, we'll have one drink, then." She told him. "One drink, and then you have to go to bed, okay?"

"Man…sucha game killer." Kiba's smile was so wide his teeth gleamed a bit even in the black of the kitchen, and she fumbled about, finding two clean glasses and pouring the drinks, hoping it wasn't whiskey. She sorely hated whiskey.

"Ugh, gin." She scowled at the glass after she'd taken her first gulp.

"Whaddya mean? Gin's great, tastes like Chrismas…trees like…kinda." He slammed back the glass and giggled uproariously. "Well, thas like a martini kinda, but no olive, big ole glassa gin. Classy drink fer…classy lady."

"Kiba, you are very drunk." Hinata told him as sternly as she could manage. She wasn't sure she wanted to drink a glass of gin. She wondered if she could dump it out in the sink without Kiba noticing, but he could apparently see well enough to notice she wasn't drinking anything.

"Gotta drink yer drink or I'm not…goin' ta bed!" he announced, and she sighed heavily, deciding that if she had to do this, she might as well get it over with quickly, so she started gulping it down, her eyes watering, her tongue and throat burning, her body suffusing with the sudden heat that came with drinking even a small gulp of liquor quickly. Kiba was clearly impressed with this, and she finished her glass before he was even close to finished with his. "Man…'nata, since when canya drink like tha?"

"Come…come on then and finish." She frowned, knowing that likely it wouldn't be long before she started feeling the effects of downing a glass of gin in about two minutes, and she would most likely regret her decision, but if she could just get Kiba to lay down, she could have some water or coffee or something, and Suteru wouldn't know…but it was nice to kind of…let go of herself for the moment. "It's time for you to go to bed."

"Man, all tha' an' ya still ain' drunk." Kiba laughed and shoved his glass at her. "Here, ya need it more than I do. So…tell me 'bout it. Bout you and S'teru."

"I don't…everything's fine." Hinata's hand wavered, but she found herself excusing the action as her fingers closed around the glass and raised it to her mouth. She panted after taking a deep gulp, the taste still foul and the burn still too much for her. _If I just drink this, he'll go to bed, it's not like there's really a reason for me not to drink right at this minute…it'll be fine, better for me to have more than usual than for him to get alcohol poisoning._ "Everything…everything is fine."

"No's not." Kiba patted her shoulder and nodded shakily. "If it was, ya would'na drank all tha' gin like the way I do when I feel like…like my heart's broke…broken."

"It isn't him." She smiled sadly, looking down at the glass, catching the barest gleam of light off the liquid. "It's not his fault."

"Wha' happened…" Kiba leaned over, his face close, scrunched up in that adorable way he had when he was trying very hard to think and had been drinking. "Ya didn'…is it 'bout the baby…from before?"

"A bit." She shrugged, feeling like this was still far too hard to talk about, and downing the rest of the gin. "There, that's that. Let's go."

"Whoa…kay." Kiba stumbled with her out of the kitchen, and she frowned as she realized that she was very dizzy, and that it probably wouldn't be the best plan she'd ever had to take these stairs…but then again, if she was having trouble, there was no way Kiba could navigate these stairs himself. There was an unnecessary amount of giggling as they unlatched the baby gate, and Hinata wasn't entirely sure if she relatched it, nor how they bypassed the second gate, whether it was Kiba or her that opened it, and then they were in his room. Not the room he'd shared with her, the one he lived in with Temari now, and had for a couple of years. She realized only then she still had the gin. "C'mon an' sit down…tell me bout it."

"Well…" Hinata had a dim, distant awareness that she was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol, but she wasn't sure whether there was anything she could do about that now, nor if she really wanted to stop it at this point. As if to underline this, when Kiba opened the gin and handed it to her, she took a deep swig before carrying on, slumping next to him on the bed. "Tha…that wasn't the only time."

"Ya…you've been pregnan' again?" Kiba blinked at her, his eyes gleaming in the lightning strike that illuminated the room just then. "Like…with S'teru's kid…kids…how many?"

"If…if I count ours, I've had…five miscarriages." It was a struggle to enunciate, but she did it somehow, and the silence that Kiba greeted this news with was satisfying as well as ominous. She slammed back the gin once more.

"Have…have ya seen a doctor?" Kiba finally spoke, still drunk, but his tone hushed and as solemn as he could manage. "Cuz…I don' think it soun's tha' safe fer you…if ya keep missing…miscart…keep losin' them."

"Yes…the doctor says…isna…it's not safe, that I shoulden…shouldn't do that…but I know wha's expected of me." She admitted, hot tears spilling down her cheeks as she told him the truth that she wouldn't even tell her husband. "I can' tell Suteru…he wouldn't want to…if he knew, he wouldn' want to. But I have to…Kiba, I want a baby so bad."

"Well, 'nata, ain' gonna help anyone if yer dead when ya have it." Kiba told her as wisely as he could. She handed him the gin, then took it back and drank it in hot, blistering swallows. "Don…don' drink so much, ye'll get stupid."

"I wanna forget." She heaved a great sob, and at the sound of her tears, he turned, and took the bottle, and then somehow they were kissing, and somehow the comfort turned into something more, and somewhere…somewhere in the middle of it she realized that they shouldn't be doing this, realized that it wasn't a memory she was seeing right now, this wasn't three years ago, with her nursing him through a drunken stupor. They were past this, weren't they?

And when the door opened and she heard a scream, saw the sudden illumination, it didn't even really process. It disappeared, and she couldn't remember which of them fell asleep first or if they even really finished, or what had happened. All she knew was the next day, that's where she woke up, naked with Kiba and a blistering headache. In the bed he shared with Temari. This was not right.

----------

"Oh my god, you have _got_ to be kidding me." Ino scowled when she saw the sopping wet girl enter the living room, and Shikamaru immediately stood up in surprise and recognition, handing her Aki so he could see to their unexpected visitor.

"Dude, it's hot philosophy girl!" Kankurou, by now recovered from the sound smacking he'd received at Shikamaru's hands when the power first went out, chuckled jubilantly as soon as she entered the candlelight now illuminating the room. "Hey baby, need help changing out of those wet clothes? Kankurou can warm you up."

"Just leave her alone, seriously." Chouji spoke up unexpectedly, and Kankurou blinked at him in surprise before frowning.

"Hey, if that pizza place thinks I'm going to let them being late because of the power outage slide, they're sorely mistaken. My pizzas are free in four minutes, bitches!" Kankurou did a few fist pumps in the air, but most of the room was focused on the newcomer.

"Shiori, you're soaked," Shikamaru stated the obvious, looking around. "What are you doing here? Let's get you some towels, you must be freezing…"

"Oh _no_ you don't!" Ino stood up, thrusting her chin out as Aki looked around excitedly from her arms. She seemed to find all the candles especially fascinating. "No strip-down alone time with the hot young co-ed in the bathroom, thank you very much, mister. Sakura, you go get some towels."

"Since when are you master of the household?" Sakura was taken aback, and while she was interested to see the much discussed Shiori, she didn't feel this was really fair. "If you don't want Shikamaru to do it, do it yourself."

"I have a child to care for." Ino reminded them all with a very high and mighty attitude.

"Stop using Aki as your slack-excuse!" Tenten blurted out, and Ino blinked at her, she threw up her hands. "I'll get the towels, come on, your name was Shiori, right?"

"You're right, Tenten, this is stupid. I can grab her some of my clothes, she'll need something dry." Sakura offered.

"Oh no, actually, get something of mine so you don't have to use the stairs. My pajamas are in the top right hand drawer." Tenten called over her shoulder, heading out by candlelight, and Sakura grabbed another candle to do as she said. Ino gaped in shock.

"What is this, a come-as-you-will slumber party?" she turned back on her husband. "I don't remember ever inviting this skank over in her wet t-shirt to spend the night and ruin our towels."

"You know, water doesn't really ruin towels." Shikamaru pointed out, clearly annoyed. "It's kind of the main thing they're made to deal with."

"Yeah, but I'm not keeping any towels after you have sex with her on them!" Ino protested, her voice shrill. Shikamaru's eyes went wide. "They'll be your damn affair towels, and I won't have them in my house."

"This is actually Temari's house." Gaara noted quietly.

"Maybe not the best time to speak up." Naruto offered, and the boys on the floor subsided into silence.

"I don't care _who_ owns it, it's my house!" Ino yelled, clearly losing touch with reason. "And I won't have some floozy come in here with her Nietzsche and her stoicism and try to lure my husband away with hot warm-me-up-after-the-storm bathroom sex on _my_ towels!"

"Dammit, Ino!" Shikamaru finally raised his voice in return. "Go take your meds! You're not making any damn sense!"

"Don't talk like that in front of the baby!" Ino shrieked back as the child in question began to cry, likely agitated by the sound of her parents arguing. Sakura and Tenten returned, clearly wanting to usher Shiori away to be dried and warmed, but Ino would have none of it. "Don't you dare give her a _damn_ thing! You can go out in that storm and drown for all I care if you think for one second you're going to steal my husband!"

"I…I didn't…" Shiori's blue eyes were wide in shock and surprise at this outburst.

"And don't use that look on me! I invented that look, girly, and you're about ten years too young to be anywhere near as good at it!" Ino went on, Shino slipping back into the room and blinking when he saw his wife by the strange girl, clutching at towels that she finally simply handed over. Ino was struggling to hold her child, who was now throwing an all out fit, and she finally set her down, and she stumbled away toward Chouji.

"Oh, come on, don't mind her." Tenten was not in the mood for Ino's games, and felt that at least today, her wedding day, she shouldn't have to deal with them. She ushered Shiori out of the room with Sakura following them hesitantly.

"Don't you take her…dammit!" Ino stomped and stormed out of the room, passing Temari on her way to the kitchen for a calming drink.

"Hey, has anyone seen Kiba?" Temari addressed the agitated inhabitants of the living room. "Never mind, he probably stumbled up to bed." She looked around, frowning. "So what's going on in here, then?"

"That hot philosophy babe is here, and Ino flipped out about Shikamaru having sex with her." Kankurou explained quickly, and Temari's face paled.

"We haven't had sex!" Shikamaru interjected before anything further could be said. "I have no plans to have sex with anyone besides my wife! Chouji, here," he reached out to his friend, who was trying to calm Aki, bouncing her in his lap and whispering softly in her ear.

"Calm down first," Chouji insisted. "You'll make it worse if you're going to yell. Aki doesn't understand, she'll just think you're angry at her."

"I don't think I need lessons in how to be a father from anyone in this house." Shikamaru seethed, but he did take a deep, calming breath, and once the color had left his cheeks, Chouji handed his daughter over, now burned out on the excitement and clearly dozing in his arms. She stirred slightly, but Shikamaru kissed her dark head and she gave a great yawn and settled against his chest.

"Is everything going to be okay?" Temari wandered over to him, not really excited to go upstairs to a drunken Kiba. He always got frisky, and she wasn't in the mood, and besides that, he'd want to take up the whole bed. Maybe she'd sleep in the den just to teach him a lesson.

"Yeah, she just wandered in…I don't know what's got into Ino." Shikamaru sighed, kissing his daughter's head again as though for reassurance. "I've never seen her like that…I don't know what made her think I would ever…"

"Hope the lights come on soon, she needs to go to bed." Temari offered, and when he blinked at her with dark eyes, she sighed and moved on to the real point. "Look at it from Ino's side of things. Even if Shiori doesn't mean anything by it, she's over here more often than any of your other students—"

"I teach a lot of them in the library, but this was just more convenient—" he cut in, and she pressed on.

"And don't pretend you can't tell she's good looking. You're married, not dead. And I mean…she _does_ look a bit like Ino. Of course Ino would thinks she's your type. She's young, energetic, the biggest difference is she _likes_ to hear you talk about philosophy." Temari pointed out. "And she remembers the sort of plotter she was, and of course she thinks this girl is up to the same tricks, and she's terrified of losing you, so she's acting a little irrational."

"That's not…I mean, Ino's so much…so much more…" Shikamaru scoffed, and Temari patted his shoulder.

"You just need to let her know that, then." Temari told him. "Make sure she knows, she's not naturally insecure, she'll believe you if you tell her the truth. And maybe from now on…don't bring your students home. Especially any that Kankurou would be interested in sleeping with."

"Fine, fine." He grumbled, feeling distinctly hard-done-by. "But I still think it's ridiculous to think that girls would want to fight over…oh…" he blinked at Temari as though finally remembering everything that had happened between them his freshman year, and she rolled her eyes, moving on.

"Just take care of it. I know you think you don't deserve her, but you know," she tilted her head to one side. "It might not have occurred to you to realize she thinks that she doesn't deserve you."

"No…not really." He frowned down at Aki, and Temari held out her arms to take her. "Thanks." And he left the room to look for his wife.

----------

"I'm sick of this drama." Neji leaned over to Sasuke. "I think we should steal a candle and leave."

"Definitely." He squeezed Naruto's shoulder, and the blonde looked up at him, eyes wide and worried. "Hey, let's go to bed."

"Sure…bed, let's go to…" he nearly jumped out of his skin when the rumble of thunder started up again, and Sasuke smirked.

"Naruto…since when are you afraid of storms?" he asked the man, who had gone very pale. Gaara was watching him, brow furrowed in concern as though ready to offer to go beat up said storm if that would make him feel better.

"I'm not!" Naruto assured them hastily. "Okay…except when it's all dark like this…I don't like it. Usually…I'll just take a sleeping pill or something if there's a night storm so I don't bother anyone."

"Sasuke didn't know," Gaara shook his head at Sasuke as though this oversight was unforgivable. "I see."

"Come on, Naruto, we'll go to bed and you'll forget about it and fall asleep," Sasuke offered, feeling a bit guilty that he had not known this thing about his lover.

"No…I don't want to be up there…the window, you can see the lightning." Naruto admitted, flushing with shame.

"Do you have any of the pills?" Neji asked. "We could watch over you in our room and Sasuke could take you upstairs when you fall asleep."

"I lost them…put them somewhere during summer break and I couldn't find them again." Naruto admitted. "I was meaning to get more…"

"Why don't we just go to our room, there's no window." Gaara offered. "Besides, with four people you will feel safer, correct?"

"We could borrow some alcohol." Neji added on. "That should put you to sleep…or at least calm your nerves."

"Is this the reason you've been squeezing my leg so hard?" Sasuke asked, and Naruto nodded shamefacedly. "Let's go, then."

"Oh…okay." Naruto let himself be led back to Neji and Gaara's room by candlelight, and after a few moments, Gaara and Neji came in with assorted alcohol.

"We weren't sure what you would feel like." Neji shrugged, setting down a bottle of vodka and two bottles of wine while Gaara set down a bottle of tequila and one of whiskey.

"I don't want to get wasted, just sleepy." Naruto frowned at the bottles. "Just the wine for now, I think." There was a struggle to open one of the bottles, and then Gaara handed it to him carefully. Naruto sat down on the bed and Sasuke joined him at once, with Gaara and Neji soon climbing onto it as well.

"You can sleep in here, if you like." Gaara offered, and at the look Sasuke shot him, he blinked. "You can, too, of course. There's room."

"Well, now what?" Sasuke frowned, and Neji shuffled over to his dresser, shifted through one of the drawers and produced a deck of cards.

"We have alcohol and cards, I think we're set." He grabbed the vodka and tequila, distributing the bottles, and Gaara gave him a wicked grin.

"What's with that look?" Sasuke blinked at the redhead, who only smirked more obviously than before.

"Have you ever played poker with Gaara?" Neji asked, and Sasuke shook his head, shrugging. "Well, be prepared to lose your shirt."

"We're not playing that kind, are we?" Gaara asked, and Neji shook his head. The cards were dealt and even Naruto started to lose his nervousness as the game progressed, almost every hand going to Gaara, although Sasuke won a few, as did Neji and Naruto. However, even without betting money or chips, it was clear that Gaara was winning if they were to announce any sort of victor. The bottles became emptier as the night progressed, and then, just when they were all at the point when nothing seemed important anymore except for the fun they were having, the lights shuddered back to life, and they looked around in surprise.

"Wha…what time is it?" Sasuke asked, glaring at the empty bottle of whiskey, as though amazed he had finished it himself. He really hadn't. Neji kept stealing it from him, and Naruto had found this so funny he had also snuck in a few drinks, even though he wasn't a big fan of whiskey.

"My clock says…wait, 'swrong, isn' it?" Neji had probably had more to drink than anyone there, between about a quarter of Sasuke's whiskey, the bottle of wine they had all split, and most of the vodka. "Anyone wearin' a watch?"

"It…is three…three-fort…um wait," Naruto started giggling, nearly spilling what was left of the tequila, which Gaara manfully rescued for his own purposes. "I forgot…how ta read a clock…" he continued giggling, falling over and messing up what was left of the card game.

"I think…'sabout time for…for sleep." Gaara made his eyes very wide, as though trying to appear sober, but mostly he looked surprised. Neji started laughing, leaned over, and kissed him sloppily.

"Storm's prob'ly over," Sasuke turned to Naruto, setting aside the unreliable whiskey bottle. "Wanna go upstairs?"

"No, we're havin' a sleepover!" Naruto continued giggling, and Sasuke couldn't help himself from laughing as well, letting the blonde pull him down to kiss him roughly, his hands stumbling over his lover's body and doing a reasonable job of finding everything he was looking for, even in his state. "Ah…mm, Sasuke."

It occurred to Sasuke momentarily that maybe, it wasn't the best idea to stick his hand down his boyfriend's pants two feet away from a man he knew loved Naruto and _his_ boyfriend, but that seemed a very mundane concern when he wrapped his hand around his lover's shaft and had a momentary struggle as he tried to work him off with one hand and unfasten the pants with the other, all while trying to kiss Naruto so hard he couldn't breathe.

"Guys…c'mon, 'stime for bed." Neji apparently decided to be the voice of reason, and he pulled Sasuke off of Naruto, hands not very rough, but then again, he wasn't exactly at his peak. Gaara started laughing when this was not very effective, and he helped his boyfriend, Sasuke rolling off of Naruto and letting out a little giggle that struck the others as so funny they all started laughing as well, Naruto rolling toward his boyfriend, possibly embarrassed about his aroused state, or else just not really wanting to be pulled away from Sasuke.

"Wanna borrow pajamas?" Gaara asked, and clambered over on top of Naruto, his hand slipping and splaying over Sasuke's chest so that he fell over on top of both of them, Neji snorting with laughter and falling down as well, rolling over and falling with a thump to the floor, making them all break into laughter again. Neji pulled himself up, his hair in his face, snorting with laughter as Gaara also got up and pulled Neji to his feet, laughing with him as they started to pull off clothes, so Naruto and Sasuke at the same time tossed aside socks and pants and shirts, clambering under the covers clumsily, pulling on the soft old shirts that Gaara gave them, making room as Gaara and Neji climbed in as well, shifting about as Sasuke turned off the lamp, and settling down slowly together in the arrangement they were most accustomed to, with Sasuke on one side, Naruto beside him, with Gaara next to Naruto and then Neji on the other edge of the bed, curling together as they tried to find the most comfortable position, trying not to fall off either side of the bed, Sasuke snuggling against Naruto, Gaara wrapping an arm around the blonde, the blonde burrowing his face against Sasuke's neck, Neji's lips brushing against the back of Gaara's neck, his hand resting on his lover's hip, his fingertips dangling down across his stomach.

Gaara moved closer to Naruto, and Neji moved with him, and then things sort of tilted, and Gaara let out a low, keening noise, and Naruto moved against him, and he turned, letting Gaara kiss him, soft and slow, with the noise of Sasuke and Neji's breathing on either side, the knowledge of what was happening a little ominous, but everything seemed so nice, and the edges were so soft and fuzzy, and the concerns of what this might mean didn't really extend past whether Sasuke seemed bothered, whether Neji objected, and when they didn't, that meant everything must be fine. And when the two on the outside moved, and it became confusing who was kissing who, and which hand was where, and what clothes they still had on were tossed aside, it was more than fine, and it felt…it felt…

----------

To be continued…


	15. Chapter 15

If I Fall

Chapter 15

----------

Sasuke was warm.

His head hurt horribly, and he needed to pee, and he felt vaguely nauseous, but at least he was warm. He snuggled against the body next to him, wondering what the chances were that Naruto would just get up and bring him breakfast so he wouldn't have to move, and dismissing this as foolishness since he had to use the bathroom anyway. There was something cool and soft draped over his shoulder…something like a sheet, but it wasn't really…

_Wait a second…last night…did we really…_

He very slowly opened his eyes, reassured to see that he was nuzzled against a naked Naruto, but when he turned his head to the side, he saw that Neji was also cuddling up to him, and…yes, there was Gaara on the other side of Neji. They were all covered haphazardly in a blanket, but he could feel that at least Naruto and Neji were naked, and Gaara's bare hip and leg jutting out from the edge of the comforter were a rather good hint about the state of undress the redhead might be in.

So then. That hadn't been a dream.

Sasuke was not sure how to feel about this, but he was quite sure that he needed to pee, and it was going to be difficult to climb out of bed without waking any of the men lying around and on top of him. Carefully, he wriggled out from under what he now realized was Neji's leg, moved Naruto's arm off of his hip, and climbed spider-like over the blonde and off of the bed. Pulling on a pair of underwear at random, he stumbled out of the room and shuffled toward the bathroom. After finishing there, he stood hesitant in the hallway before deciding it was most definitely time for a cup of coffee. His hair was a mess and he had nothing but underwear on, but that hadn't been a problem for him in the past.

"Hey, Sasuke," Sakura rushed over to him as soon as he entered the kitchen, and he blinked blearily at her as she ushered him to a seat. "Are you…is everything okay?"

"How could it _not_ be?" Ino was standing over the stove, frying bacon next to Temari, who was very quietly making eggs.

"Ino, shut up!" Sakura frowned at Ino, leaving Sasuke only long enough to bring him some coffee and pat his shoulder. "Just…did you need anything? Did you need to…to talk?"

"What?" Sasuke did need to talk, he realized, but he wasn't going to talk to anyone outside of the current inhabitants of the room he'd slept in about what had taken place. He wasn't sure what Sakura was so concerned about, but certainly she couldn't have any idea that they had done what they did. He sipped his coffee and looked at her suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"She just wants all the gory details." Ino turned, waggling her eyebrows. "You know, last night." Sasuke blinked, opened his mouth and closed it again, deciding that silence was currently the best way to proceed. "Sasuke, everyone knows you guys had a freaking orgy."

"Ino!" Sakura glared at her again, bending down next to him. "I'm really sorry, no one needs to know about that but Sasuke."

"And Naruto," Ino giggled wickedly. "And Neji, and Gaara." She sighed happily, clutching the tongs to her heart. "Best middle of the night bathroom trip _ever_."

"Wait…what are you…" Sasuke felt vaguely mortified, but that was nothing on the fear he felt at what Naruto's reaction would be when he knew everyone in the house somehow knew what had happened last night.

"You should really learn to close the door." Temari's tone was oddly brittle when she did finally speak, and Sasuke wondered if she felt that he was leading her brother astray or something. Well, Gaara had been the one to start it, in his opinion.

"I…didn't realize…" Sasuke knew there was no point in denying what had happened. If Ino had actually seen them…well, he would just have to try and deal with it. "It wasn't…we didn't plan that. Don't say anything to Naruto."

"Of course we won't say anything," Sakura shot Ino a look of extreme venom. "Is…is everything going to be okay?"

"I don't see what the big concern is!" Ino snorted, putting some bacon on a plate. "You all _sounded_ like you were having a great time last night."

"Ino, stop it!" Sakura snapped again, rolling her eyes and sighing. "Seriously, Sasuke…if there's anything you need, you know I'm always here."

"Like if you need anyone to edit the tape." Ino offered. "Oh man…did you guys tape it?"

"Ino, you should spend time worrying about your own damn problems and leave Sasuke and Naruto out of it!" Sakura stomped her foot, turning toward the blonde. "I swear! Last night, all you were worried about was Shiori and Shikamaru, and now you can't remember how to mind your own business."

"Well, that," Ino shrugged as though it was common for her to accuse her husband of infidelity. "It was blown way out of proportion, totally baseless, turns out."

"You are the one who blew it out of proportion!" Sakura threw up her hands. "I swear…I've had it with you."

"Oh please, you're just jealous I got to see." Ino rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't believe the way Gaara can bend—"

"No." Temari cut in with that same brittle tone, and Sasuke decided he was done with this morning melodrama.

"Can you bring us some food?" Sasuke whispered, standing behind Sakura, who turned and nodded slightly. "And can I get another coffee to go?"

"Sure, no problem." She poured another cup and handed it to him, worry evident in her eyes. Not for the first time, Sasuke realized that Sakura was probably one of the best friends he could have ever hoped for. No matter what, she stood by him, and even when Naruto and he were fighting, she seemed intent on defending them both. She understood that last night was more than a hilarious party story to tell, and she was concerned about the people involved, about who might be hurt or upset. He dropped a kiss on her forehead, and she blinked at him in surprise. He wasn't very big on showing affection to anyone that wasn't Naruto.

"Thanks." He was embarrassed by her expression, so he hurried back to the bedroom with both cups of coffee, very carefully setting them down and making sure the door was fully closed. In his absence, Naruto was now draped over Neji, who slowly blinked silver eyes awake when the sound of the door disturbed him.

"Ugh…my head," he grumbled, making a face and blinking as he realized that Sasuke was standing across the room in what must be either his or Gaara's underwear, since Sasuke didn't actually recognize them, and then he slowly took stock of the bed. "Shit." He looked mildly alarmed, but still half asleep as he wriggled up into a sitting position. Sasuke climbed back on the bed, handing him one of the cups of coffee. "We all…"

"Yes." Sasuke confirmed at once.

"Oh good, I thought maybe it had just been us three and you were here to kill me." Neji sighed and sipped his coffee gratefully. "Do you remember everything?"

"Mostly," Sasuke confirmed, sipping at his own cup. "You?"

"Flashes…enough to make me think it was very fun if not extremely ill-advised." Neji sighed wistfully and Sasuke snorted and rolled his eyes. "Hey…did you really let Gaara take you over against the—"

"_Yes_." Sasuke cut him off, feeling the blood rushing to his face. It wasn't like he should be embarrassed, but he hadn't exactly expected a play-by-play recap.

"And I thought you two would never get along." Neji nodded as though supremely pleased with himself. Sasuke squirmed slightly at the expressions that played over his face as more of the previous night came back to him. "Did you teach Naruto that thing with his leg? Only it was amazing, really, and I know that besides you he hasn't really—"

"Please stop." Sasuke hissed, and Neji shrugged, sipping at his coffee happily. "Aren't you concerned?"

"Eh, too late for that now." Neji told him. "I mean, I didn't want it to happen. Well, _partially_ I did, but it was like in the same way that you want to see what Ino's really like in bed. It's like…you want to know, but you really don't because you know it would be a giant hassle. I thought I'd be upset, you know, seeing other people with Gaara, but…I mean, it's you two. It's not the same."

"I do _not_ want to know what Ino's like in bed." Sasuke told him very firmly. "Ever."

"Yeah, right." Neji rolled his eyes. "I have no interest in women and _I_ want to know."

"What about them?" Sasuke decided that getting Neji concerned about anything was clearly a lost cause. He was clearly too happy to be surrounded in hot naked men with a cup of coffee after a night of wild athletic sex. Some people just didn't understand what was wrong with that. "How do you think Naruto's going to feel about it?"

"Well…I mean, considering the only thing stopping him from sleeping with Gaara is you, he'll probably be pleased." Neji assured him. "My main concern was you. I mean, I'm sure you remember the way that Naruto was with Gaara over on the desk. Jealous? Upset?"

"Well…no, not jealous, I mean, I was right there." Sasuke flushed again, recalling at that particular juncture he had been receiving a rather amazing blow-job courtesy of the man quietly sipping coffee across from him with all the dignity of someone who didn't moan like a whore and engage in four-way sex the night before. "But…I mean, Naruto must think…"

"We can ask him what he thinks when he wakes up." Neji reached down, ruffling the blonde head nestled in his lap affectionately. "I'm not saying it should be something we do all the time, but I really don't see why there needs to be so much concern over it. Frankly, it was bound to happen. What with the history, and the fact that we're all amazingly attractive."

"You're so full of yourself." Sasuke sighed and returned to his coffee as a knock sounded softly on the door. He set the cup down on the floor and clambered over to answer it, disturbing the two sleeping men, who were slowly waking up as he accepted plates of food from a tremulous Sakura and a very curious Ino, who kept trying to see around him to where there were still three men, naked but for the blanket, lounging in the bed. When Neji climbed out of bed to help him without even bothering to put anything on, Ino's eyes nearly fell out of her head and Sakura went bright red, staring straight at the ceiling.

"And…and if you need…I can bring more coffee." Sakura muttered, still blushing brilliantly as Neji turned, displaying a nice rear-view to Ino, who was still watching him avidly.

"No, we're fine for now." Sasuke was a bit annoyed with Ino, but he couldn't help finding Sakura's behavior a little funny now that he wasn't so afraid of Naruto suffering a complete melt-down. "I'll get more if I need it. Thanks for everything."

"Thank _you_." Ino winked broadly and Sakura pulled the door shut since Sasuke's hands were full and Ino wasn't about to do it herself. He turned and headed for the bed, where Gaara was yawning and stretching, and Naruto was holding a piece of toast like a talisman in front of his face while watching Sasuke warily.

"Did…did we really…" Naruto trailed off, clearly a bit concerned, and Sasuke realized that while he had been worried about Naruto's reaction, Naruto was most worried about his reaction.

"Yes, we all had sex," Neji confirmed with a sharp nod of his head. "And despite being drunk, we all performed quite magnificently. Good job everyone. Now eat your breakfast and when we're done feeling hung over, we can try it again."

"Sa…Sasuke?" Naruto blinked at him, blue eyes big and wide, and Sasuke set down the plates he'd been holding, recovering his coffee and offering some to the blonde, who accepted warily. "How much…how much do you remember?"

"Everything." Sasuke told him. "Are you…upset or anything?"

"No…I mean…you aren't…aren't mad, are you?" Naruto looked as though he was about to burst into tears. "Because we all…and I…I shouldn't have just…"

"I was there, too, remember." Sasuke repeated. "Why would I be upset? I was doing…doing those things, too."

"Really?" Naruto blinked at him in surprise. "But…I mean, you always get so jealous even with Gaara. And I mean, we did it…right there," he pointed to the desk. "And Neji and I…and you and…"

"We were all there," Sasuke reminded him. "Maybe it wasn't the wisest decision ever. It isn't like I'm saying I want to do that again, or make it a regular thing, but it happened, and it's over, and I'm not angry with you. I'm not angry with anyone."

"Really?" Naruto repeated. "Oh…well, good." He flushed bright red as he remembered some sordid detail or other from the night before and munched on his toast, returning the coffee to Sasuke.

"Naruto, after all this time, I finally understand why you put up with Sasuke." Gaara finally spoke up, and he seemed, if anything, even more pleased with himself than Neji, who was eating eggs now and watching the proceedings with casual interest.

"See, told you." Neji interjected and Naruto and Sasuke both became so red that Gaara and Neji started laughing. While the laughter died down, Naruto peered hopefully at Sasuke, who leaned over and kissed him, licking toast crumbs off his lip carefully.

Surprisingly…he really felt good.

"By the way…I should probably let you guys know," Sasuke spoke after a long and relatively peaceful silence, "Ino saw us, and she's telling everyone…so yeah." Neji and Gaara looked at each other and shrugged. Naruto, however, went completely pale and dropped his toast.

"She _what_?!"

----------

"Sweetheart," Suteru beamed when a rather rumpled Hinata entered the kitchen once nearly everyone else was up, her face freezing in panic as soon as she saw him. "I was afraid you'd wandered off into the storm!"

"Yeah, fuck, I even let him sleep on the couch so Suteru could like, _really_ become one of us," Kankurou gave a broad wink. "You guys know what I'm saying, right? Right?"

"Yes, yes, everyone knows, sex on the couch." Ino rolled her eyes, nudging some coffee toward Shikamaru who sleepily tipped the cup in the direction of his mouth with her guidance. "Hilarious, Kankurou."

"Hey, everyone's done it on that couch." Kankurou assured them, and he nodded at his sister, who was silently spreading jam on a slice of toast, eyes fixed on her task as though she hadn't even seen Hinata enter. "Right, Temari? I mean, everyone knows already, just admit you and Kiba have, and we can get it over with."

"Come sit down, Hinata," Sakura invited her, smiling warmly and scooting over so there was room next to Suteru. "Plenty for everyone! You look exhausted, like you were up all night." Hinata nodded slowly and very cautiously sat down, feeling like she might throw up from nerves as Suteru kissed her cheek and handed her a plate, offering her some of his coffee as though nothing was wrong.

_He…does he know?_

"Do storms freak you out?" Kankurou asked her knowingly, furrowing his brow and nodding slowly. "Well, you know any time you need, my bed is nice and safe."

"Would you please stop propositioning every married woman?" Shino asked in a tone of forced calm.

"Hey, I just said I'd butter her toast if she needed some help." Kankurou threw up his hands, his expression one of surprise and innocence.

"Yeah, with your dick." Ino recalled. "Hardly appropriate. Oh!" she turned to the high chair. "Aki, baby, cover your ears!"

"Yeah, good job on that one." Shikamaru grumbled, shoveling some eggs in his mouth and looking around. "Hey…what ever happened to Shiori last night? I went to bed while she was still…changing or something."

"Oh, she stayed the night, we showed her to the den." Tenten assured him. "Although…I haven't seen her. Chouji, did you see her on your way up?"

"No, I figured she left early." Chouji shrugged. "Kankurou, did you see her leave?"

"Oh, I saw her all right." Kankurou leaned back and stretched majestically, his grin broadening as though he were the cat who'd caught the canary. "I showed her out."

"That was nice of you," Sakura nodded, "you could have offered her some breakfast, though. I mean, we wouldn't have had any trouble feeding her."

"Well, Ino may have attempted to poison her." Sai pointed out, and Sakura stifled a giggle as the blonde in question affected an expression of extreme disinterest. Whatever Shikamaru had said to her last night, she certainly didn't seem that worried about Shiori at the moment.

"Oh no, I think it's awkward, breakfast the morning after." Kankurou now brushed his chest off and buffed the nails of one hand lazily. "You know, sends the wrong message, like. You just want to make sure she knows from the start you aren't wanting anything long-term. It's about pure, animal magnetism."

"Um." Sakura gulped, and then promptly began choking on her eggs. Sai busied himself making sure his fiancé wasn't about to die while every other head swiveled toward Kankurou. Even Temari, who had up until now said barely a few words all morning, looked up from her toast.

"You…you didn't…" Ino was obviously exuberant at this news, and when Kankurou nodded, she started giggling in joy.

"'Fraid so." He told them all, clearly pleased. "Kankurou strikes again! And man, she could barely walk when I made her leave. No surprise after the pounding I gave her, but man, she can really take it! A real wildcat in the sack, you know?"

"Dammit, Kankurou!" Shikamaru set down his cup so sharply coffee slopped over the edge. "What the hell were you thinking? That's one of my students. It's not like everyone who enters this house is free game for you!"

"Well fuck, bring ugly students home and I won't fuck them!" Kankurou rolled his eyes as though it was clear that Shikamaru's expectations from him were unreasonable. "Bringing a stone fox like that home, and you don't even keep her locked up, of course the fox got in the henhouse. Damn, man. You're already married to Ino, how many hot fucking freaks you need in bed?"

"Yeah, why are you so worried about it?" Ino, who had been in quite a good mood all morning suddenly turned on a dime. "I haven't seen you get upset about any of the other skanks he brought home."

"Shiori's one of my students," Shikamaru told her, clearly annoyed. "It's a little hard to respect someone's intellect after I know they've fallen prey to _that_." He jabbed a thumb over at Kankurou, who snorted as though finding this uncalled for and offensive. "How am I supposed to take her seriously, and more than that, how am I supposed to get her to work when she just wants to know when this asshole is going to call her."

"Oh, I'll call her." Kankurou nodded. "Probably pretty soon, but after last night I'm gonna have to like, ice my balls. She was seriously insatiable, just kept on—"

"Aki, cover your ears!" Ino told her daughter and then turned to Kankurou. "If you can't stop talking about that, you're going to have to leave. There is a _child_ at the table."

"You just don't want Shikamaru to know she's a fucking demon in the sack." Kankurou shrugged. "I mean, damn, you're hot, everyone knows, Ino. But you've popped out a kid, and you just don't come back from that shit. I bet every time, he's just thinking 'whatever happened to Ino's nice tight—"

"Okay, stop!" Temari slammed her hands down with such force the table shook, and she stood up, spots of color high in her cheeks. "Just stop, okay!? Shikamaru…would _never_ cheat on Ino. You know why, don't you? Because unlike…unlike some people…he is a real man, who has an actual heart, and he _loves_ her. It doesn't matter if there are a hundred Shiori's to try and drag him away, it doesn't matter if she gets old and tired and he's got students trying to offer him all kinds of wild sex, he wouldn't even bat an eye because he _loves_ her, and when he _says_ that, he means it! You can see! You can see the way he looks at her…he can't just make that up, and until you learn what that means, you're not allowed to try to screw up _everyone_ else's relationships just for fun, just because you're a fucking idiot who screwed up the best thing you ever had because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants! And Ino, I swear to fucking god, if you won't stop talking about my brother and wild orgies, I will cut your tongue out and do us all a favor, because whatever choices my brother and Neji and Naruto and Sasuke make…they made them together, so at least…at least there was honesty there, and it's not like Sasuke climbed in bed with Neji and just snuck down to breakfast this morning like everything was fucking _dandy_ and helped himself to some fucking toast la-dee-fucking-da! And there's Naruto giving him some coffee, asking if he's alright, is everything fine because he didn't see him last night, and how's _he_ supposed to know, because Gaara saw it, he saw what happened and he just doesn't know how to tell Naruto because Naruto has only ever done everything Sasuke ever wanted and what kind of thanks is that, really?! Well, you know what, Sasuke would never do that, so just shut up and leave them alone! Because unlike _some_ men in this house, Sasuke's learned to be a mature adult! And Kankurou…you just…just stop fucking everything on two legs, because Suri's not going to come back to you, and no matter how hard you smile, I know how you feel, and don't you think it breaks my _heart_ to know that I saw it happen and I didn't do anything to stop you? Well this is me saying wake up and fucking stop! You're a grown man, for fuck's sake! Start _acting_ like it!" She stormed out, and the entire dining room remained completely silent for a full minute.

"Okay, Aki," Ino finally reached over and took the girl's hands down. "It's fine now. Who's a good girl?"

"Um…does anyone else think something is seriously wrong with Temari?" Sakura asked, and Kankurou let out a noise halfway between a snort and a giggle.

"I've been fucking saying that shit for years." He force a smile, but it wavered and faded, and his hand shook as he tried to feed himself a forkful of eggs.

"No, no, like…like something happened…" Tenten nodded, frowning and looking around. "Like, there's normal angry Temari, and that was a supernova of rage."

"Hey…hey, where's Kiba?" Sakura's eyes went wide. "Has anyone seen him? Or…I mean, did you guys hear them last night? Did they fight or anything?" she asked Shikamaru and Ino, who shrugged.

"Well, I think I heard them having sex…" Ino speculated calmly, tapping her lips thoughtfully. "And like…around the time the lights came on, I heard what I could have sworn was Temari screaming, but it was like, surprise scream, not, 'I've told you a million times' scream, you know."

"Oh yeah…I heard that, I think." Sakura nodded and snapped her fingers. "Hmm, well that doesn't make sense."

"Yeah, and they had a little fight yesterday on the way back from the wedding, but if they were doing that, they must have made up." Tenten frowned. Kankurou was munching his eggs carefully, thoughtfully looking around when his gaze settled on the very pale and nervous looking Hinata, whose husband seemed completely unaware of her state of discomfort.

"Didn't see him last night…" he muttered part of what Temari had said, mouthing some words under his breath and making some odd gestures as though acting out a series of events between his hands. "Some…some men…" he suddenly froze, his eyes wide, and Ino turned to him expectantly. "No way, I totally fucking know!"

"Lay it on me." Ino nodded sharply, her expression expectant.

"Hinata fucking slept with Kiba last night, and Temari caught them going at it!" he pumped his fists and started laughing.

"Oh please." Ino rolled her eyes and slumped back in her chair. "Lame, Kankurou, really lame. Like that could possibly ever…" she frowned as she realized the girl across the table was shaking so badly her fork was scratching over her plate. Suteru looked pale and discomposed as they had never seen him before.

"Hinata…that didn't really…" Sakura spoke softly, and Hinata let out a shrill little scream, dropping her fork and throwing her hands over her face.

"Stop! Just stop, everyone!" she burst into tears and ran out of the room, Suteru immediately following her.

"See?" Kankurou nodded knowingly as she left, folding his hands behind his head. "I fucking told you."

"So…you're just sitting there all pleased while the guy who cheated on your sister sleeps it off upstairs?" Shikamaru asked with an arched brow, and Kankurou took a moment to process this before tossing his napkin to the table and rushing out of the room as well.

"Do you really think they…" Sakura turned to Ino, mouth ajar in surprise.

"If they did," Ino pronounced slowly, both eyebrows raised high. "I give Kiba about an hour to make his peace with the world. Twenty minutes if Gaara finds out somehow."

----------

To be continued…


	16. Chapter 16

If I Fall

Chapter 16

----------

"Hey, Gaara!" Kankurou burst into his brother's room without knocking and let out a shriek of dismay when he saw four men in various stages of undress eating breakfast in bed together. "Aw, fuck! Put some damn pants on!"

"Me?" Gaara blinked, confused by the request since the closest any of them had achieved to pants were the pajama bottoms Naruto had dug up from his top drawer. Sasuke was still in a pair of what he recognized as Neji's underwear, and Gaara had pulled on a shirt to protect himself from the air, which was of course chillier than the heated cocoon of four bodies nestled together under a blanket. Neji was still completely naked, which Gaara had absolutely no problems with.

"Just…fuck! Put some damn clothes on, all of you!" Kankurou had now clapped hands over his eyes, and Gaara and Neji exchanged a long, thoughtful look. Naruto arched an eyebrow, quite sure that he was fine. After all, he did have a sort of pants on. And what did Kankurou expect, bursting into rooms like that?

"If you don't want to see me naked, please remember to knock." Neji told him. "Now, what did you want so badly you couldn't wait three seconds to let us know you'd be coming in here?"

"I need to talk to Gaara," Kankurou was now facing the wall with his hands still over his eyes as though he thought Neji might sneak over and surprise him with his nudity. "But only when he fucking has clothes on."

"Yes, understood." Gaara heaved a long-suffering sigh and handed the coffee he'd been working on over to Neji, kissing his lover on the cheek, and then on second thought also kissed Naruto on the cheek, but when he moved in toward Sasuke, the dark-haired man shook his head and pursed his lips. "I see, good enough to fuck you against the dresser, not good enough for a polite goodbye."

"Would you stop!" Sasuke went ten shades of red, Naruto choked on his coffee, and Neji chuckled, all while Kankurou was making an odd noise something like a dying giraffe.

"Fuck you two…er, four!" he groaned. "No one wants to hear about your fucking sexploits! Well, except Ino, but she's a damn freak."

"Just keep your pants on." Gaara couldn't resist teasing as he pulled a pair of jeans off the ground and pulled them on, frowning when he realized they weren't actually his, but nodding slightly when he recognized them as Naruto's. "I'm coming."

"Like I'd let my guard down around you bunch," Kankurou grumbled as Gaara successfully located his own shirt and pulled it on. "Fucking doing crazy ass shit all night…"

"Whatever, like anyone here is interested in _you_." Neji assured him. "We already got the hottest member of your family, why downgrade?"

"Shut the hell up! I'm hot, ask Shiori!" Kankurou turned in an outrage, having forgotten the reason he wasn't looking at Neji and promptly shrieked and covered his eyes again.

"Don't be afraid Kankurou," Naruto was now laughing at the eldest Sabaku's reactions. "Neji only uses his hot powers for the causes of good."

"Yeah, getting good and laid." Sasuke grumbled, still a bit embarrassed, but apparently not so self-conscious he was about to put more clothes on. Gaara grabbed his brother and marched him outside, crossing his arms and closing the door.

"Now, what do you want?" Gaara asked. "And if it's something about me not doing anything like last night again, you can tell Temari that I'm old enough to make my own choices."

"I'm not her damned errand boy! I don't care if you let all three of them fuck you silly…ugh." Kankurou's face twisted at the sudden mental image. "But…yeah, so I'm here to tell you that we're like, honor-bound to cut Kiba's balls off and make him eat them."

"Interesting." Gaara arched an eyebrow at this, crossing his arms. "How so?"

"Well, last night he totally fucking cheated on Temari with Hinata!" Kankurou explained loudly enough that there was an exclamation from inside the bedroom and after some shuffling noises, Naruto opened the door and peered out.

"Wait, did I hear that right?" the blonde asked. "Kiba and Hinata slept together last night?"

"Well, from the way Hinata looked this morning, they didn't _sleep_ much, if you know what I mean." Kankurou chuckled, then seemed to realize this was not the way to approach the subject, and instead fixed his face in a scowl.

"Dammit, I have sex with three men, _with_ the door open, and I'm still being outdone." Neji grumbled, moving to locate some pants, since he was now interested in events as well. Sasuke was firmly set on not leaving the bed, and took everyone's abandonment as invitation to climb under the covers and curl up, having moved the food to the floor. "By _Hinata_. I never thought…"

"Do you know this for sure?" Gaara furrowed his brow, and Kankurou licked his lips. He had expected that as soon as he told Gaara his news, the other man would fly into a homicidal rage, rush upstairs, beat Kankurou so badly he was sent to the hospital, and all Kankurou would have to do would be back him up and call 911 when it was all over.

"I'm _pretty_ sure," Kankurou advised him, not wanting to exaggerate now and pay for it later, especially not at Gaara's hands. "Cause like, Temari flipped out at me at breakfast, and she told us not to hassle you guys because Sasuke's grown-up now, and then she ran out, and it was like, duh! Of course, Hinata slept with Kiba and she saw it!"

"Well, how could you not come to that conclusion, the evidence is so overwhelming." Neji deadpanned. "I can't believe I put pants on for this. Come back to bed, you two."

"No, dammit, I'm not explaining it right!" Kankurou threw up his hands in frustration. "But seriously, I know they did! I called her out and Hinata like flipped shit and ran the hell out of there like she thought Temari was going to come back with a chainsaw, _which she might_! And besides, Kiba's still in bed! If we go up there, you guys will see! He's totally fucking guilty, and we have to chop his damn balls off!"

"I don't know about this," Naruto frowned. "I don't think Kiba would do that…"

"Yes, but wasn't he drinking quite a bit last night?" Neji pointed out. "Besides, I always knew he was no good. It's Hinata I'm surprised at…he must have forced her…"

"If anything even happened," Naruto interjected. "We shouldn't just jump the gun. We should ask Kiba what happened. He'll tell us, I know."

"Are you serious?" Neji snorted. "Pretend for one moment you're in Kiba's shoes. Now pretend you became seriously inebriated last night and forced Hinata to have sex with you, but no one knows this for sure because when questioned, Hinata fled the scene. Now imagine Gaara and I show up at his door and ask him if this is true when he knows that either one of us will likely beat him to within an inch of his life if it is. Would _you_ tell the truth?"

"Hey, what about me!" Kankurou threw up his hands. "I'm confronting him, too!"

"No you're not, you clearly wanted us to do it or you would have gone straight to Kiba without the stopover." Neji pointed out and turned back to the bed. "Sasuke, we'll need your help here."

"What? Why me!?" Sasuke rolled to face them, looking surly and annoyed because he had been addressed while trying to go back to sleep. "I don't care what Kiba does with his time or his dick."

"You have the most experience with infidelity, that's why." Neji gave him a wicked smile, and Naruto scowled at the taller man, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance. "We need you to tell us if Kiba's lying."

"Hey, we were on a break!" the blonde reminded him.

"If you three insist on playing sex sleuth this early on a Sunday, I'm not going to stop you." Sasuke glared out from his nest of bedding. "However, I'm not getting up and putting pants on for this bullshit."

"But…Sasuke, this is important!" Naruto's eyes went wide and watery, and Sasuke let out an exasperated noise before climbing out of bed, stepping directly in some eggs and letting out a string of curses so impressive even Kankurou looked slightly scandalized. He scraped them off his foot and found some pants, pulling a shirt on as well and glowering at everyone as though helping was absolute anathema to him and he wanted them to know without words that he would not soon forget this outrage. "Okay, let's go ask Kiba." Naruto still seemed convinced that surely, their friend wouldn't lie, but when the group went upstairs, they decided that since the sight of Neji or Gaara (or himself, Kankurou insisted) would terrify Kiba to no end, Sasuke and Naruto would go in alone, ask him what had happened, and return to report their findings, at which point Neji and Gaara would decide if they needed to kill anyone that day.

However, once they reached the top of the stairs, the discussion became moot, as they could see Temari's door half-open, and Temari herself throwing things at Kiba while yelling at him in a continuous tirade of abuse that the man was either too guilty or too hung over to even try and interrupt.

"—and see you up here with her like it's no big deal, and you don't even _notice_ me come in here and scream, and just keep going at it like you don't have a moment to spare for me, like what the fuck were you even thinking, that we had some sort of Gaara and Naruto arrangement set up for you two, like you could just do whatever you wanted and Suteru and I would just be okay with it no matter what?" she turned and opened the window before whipping open the dresser with such fury the drawer almost fell out on her foot, but she just managed to jump aside with a snarl of fury. "Well you know what I think of that? You can fuck off and get the hell out of my house!" she grabbed a double armload of clothes and tossed it out the window, at which point Kiba made a soft noise of surprised alarm, reaching out futilely as though he was either going to catch the clothes or stop Temari.

"Um…should we…do something?" Naruto turned to Gaara in confusion, and the redhead scowled with increasing anger at the unfolding scene. He made a low, growling noise, his fists clenching, and Kiba looked up, saw him, and blanched completely in horror.

"Oh shit!" he yelped, clearly seeing not just Gaara, but Neji and the rest of the men standing near the doorway, and it was enough to make him look ready to leap out of the window himself to escape them.

"What are you—" Temari turned and saw the group of men in her doorway and she swelled with anger at once. "No! I can handle this myself, and the last thing I want is Gaara in prison over the death of this cheating bastard!"

"He defiled Hinata!" Neji interjected, and Temari made a snorting noise that showed clearly what she thought of this.

"Oh, yeah fucking right! Hinata knew what she was doing!" Kankurou insisted. "Probably just like, damn, last time Kiba got me pregnant, I just want some of that! In fact, she probably got him wasted in the first place! Let's go kick Hinata's ass!"

"Oh my god, if you could even hear what you're saying…" Naruto grabbed Kankurou to stop him from racing away in pursuit of his new goal, trying at the same time to block Neji's path, which was now leading him to want to attack Kankurou. "And…Temari, I mean, I agree that he was wrong to do that, but that doesn't mean you should just throw him out on the streets…I mean, can't you two talk about this?"

"Sorry, Naruto, I'm not you, I can't just see him doing that and just say nothing and move on like it's no big deal!" Temari snapped at him, not pleased with the outside interference. "There's no _excuse!_"

"Then…but then that means that you think that Neji should have just dumped Gaara that time…with me and him—" Naruto flushed, as though he had anything to be embarrassed about after what had happened the night before. "Are you really saying you think Neji should have left Gaara? That I should have left Sasuke?"

"I'm saying _I _would have!" Temari howled in outrage, stomping and scooping up more clothes to toss out the window. At this point, either bolstered by the fact that Naruto didn't seem to think he should be thrown bodily out the window, or just wanting not to wait in silent fear for Neji or Gaara to kill him, Kiba rushed forward, grabbing at the clothes and causing her to drop them in favor of slapping him, beating his chest with both hands while he struggled to catch hold of them. "I'm saying…if it were me, I'd have left them! How can you trust each other? What, do you think I want to be in that kind of relationship, where I'm just sleeping with everyone, where nothing even matters anymore? How can you even feel like you're in love like that?!"

"Geez, thanks," Sasuke snorted, clearly insulted but doing his best to seem like he was shrugging it off. "I could really use relationship advice from anyone who's let themselves be duped by my fucking psychopath brother."

"Don't, you!" Gaara turned on Sasuke, confusion and anger clear in his features. Naruto scowled, seeing how it was affecting the redhead to hear Temari completely decry his relationship, and then to have Sasuke critique one of her most regretted follies in the next minute…it was no wonder he looked so conflicted.

"No, Gaara, it's okay." Naruto released Kankurou, reaching out to the redhead, reaching out to Sasuke as well, and smiling softly all the while, "We don't have to fight, come on, you two. Temari's upset, but what happens between us is nothing to do with her, and it doesn't matter if she thinks it's wrong, or if she approves or whatever. It's no one's business but ours. Calm down, you two, we should just…"

"You see! You can't just force it all the way you want, they're not friends no matter what you think!" Temari snapped, pulling away from Kiba with a yank of her wrists. "And _you_, you think that Naruto comes up here and talks like that and I'll just wilt and let you walk all over me!? I don't care why you did what you did, I won't forgive you! You have one week to find somewhere else to live." She snarled. "And until then, you can live in the basement."

"What!?" Kankurou threw up his hands. "I don't want him there!"

"Oh, shut up, like you're a big one to talk about fidelity!" Temari growled and stormed off, tears glittering as they spilled down her face.

"Just let her go," Neji grabbed Gaara, who moved to follow his sister. "What Naruto says is right, but the same is true for her. We can't change anything between Kiba and her."

"Fine." Gaara frowned, but just as Neji released him he lunged back around him and before anyone could try to stop him, he punched the surprised Kiba so hard in the face that he flew off his feet, crashing to the ground amidst the loose drawer and other detritus left from all the things Temari had been throwing.

"Gaara, _no_," Naruto rushed forward, but the redhead held up his hands, his face as perfectly calm as if he hadn't just attacked anyone and turned back, letting Naruto grab him with no trouble. "We shouldn't make things worse."

"I'm not," he insisted, glancing over his shoulder to be sure that Kiba, who was shakily trying to stand back up wasn't planning any retaliatory action, and at the same time Naruto glanced over to be sure Kankurou and Neji didn't look like they were going to take advantage of the situation to get their own hits in. "But she is my sister."

"Fine," Naruto rolled his eyes, unable to repress a sigh and a small smile. "Just go, leave him alone, he probably feels shitty enough without being ground into the dirt by you guys."

"What about you?" Gaara frowned as he headed down the stairs with the others and realized that Naruto was staying behind, helping Kiba up.

"I want to talk to Kiba a little." Naruto assured him, and Sasuke rolled his eyes as Gaara scowled.

"I don't see why he gets to interfere." Gaara grumbled and Sasuke patted his shoulder, guiding him down the stairs.

"It's impossible to keep Naruto out of everyone's business." Sasuke assured him. "Let's go clean up."

"And you better stay away from—" Neji started, and Sasuke yanked the slender man's hair, using it to pull him toward the stairs like some sort of leash.

"Enough!" Sasuke snapped. "Just leave them, it's fine, he knows, he won't touch your damn cousin."

"Hey, don't pull his hair like that." Gaara protested vaguely, eyeing both brunettes with interest as they headed down the stairs.

"He didn't mind it last night." Sasuke grumbled, not releasing the thick lock twisted into his fist firmly, and Kankurou let out a noise like he was being strangled as they all left Naruto and Kiba alone. Naruto pursed his lips and closed the door.

"So," the blonde turned back to his friend. "Did you…I mean, did you really?"

"I don't remember," Kiba admitted, slumping his shoulders and flopping down on the bed in a very defeated fashion. "I don't remember anything like that! The last thing I remember is the lights went out…and I do remember Hinata talking to me a bit, but that was in the kitchen. And, I mean, I know I got up here somehow, but this morning, I woke up alone, and I was totally hung over, and when Temari came in here all pissed, I thought…I honestly just thought she was pissed I'd gotten wasted, or like she was still pissed about the fight we had yesterday. I didn't think I'd…but, I mean, she says she saw me. Why would she make that up? And I don't have a fucking clue, I could have slept with fucking Kankurou last night for all I know!" he laughed, his voice tinged with hysteria, and Naruto patted his shoulder reassuringly, sitting down beside him.

"You really don't remember?" Naruto asked, and Kiba looked at him desperately, wanting to be believed, wanting somehow for this person to solve the problems he had woken to find himself entrenched in. He nodded slowly, and Naruto pursed his lips a moment before letting out a deep sigh. "But you think you did."

"If Temari says I did, I must have." He explained, as though there was no doubting this.

"You know, you're a good guy for someone who just did something so shitty." Naruto offered, a slight smile on his face, and Kiba snorted slightly. "I heard that Kankurou said something at breakfast and Hinata ran out…Suteru was there." Kiba blinked at him, clearly not sure what to say. "Do you think it's possible she remembers?"

"Well, she hadn't had anything when I last remember…but there was an empty bottle of gin up here…no way I could have finished it myself, I'd already gotten like halfway through a bottle of rum when I started to kinda lose my thread." He frowned. "You don't think…I mean, what Kankurou said, that's just stupid. She wouldn't have…I mean, what's the point of getting me to…I'm sure Suteru can."

"It's Kankurou, saying stupid stuff is practically his major." Naruto rolled his eyes. "But it is weird…Hinata never does stuff like this, and I mean, I wouldn't have thought you would have, either. You…did you want to…I mean, do you ever think like maybe…you and Hinata…"

"No…no, that ship sailed long ago." Kiba scuffed his foot against the floor, clenching and unclenching his toes, staring at them for a long time. "I love Temari, I really do. I really…Naruto…what am I going to do?" his voice shook, cracked on the last word, and when he looked up, there were tears running down his cheeks, his shoulders trembling as he tried to hold back the urge to sob outright. "I always thought…always thought one day I'd do some stupid shit, and she'd toss me out on my ass. But I mean, after a while, you start to forget not to get too comfortable…start to forget not to love her too much, not to start planning things…fuck! What the fuck am I going to do?!" he threw himself on Naruto's shoulder, and as he always had for all of his friends who needed him to, Naruto held Kiba, letting him cry as much as he needed, hoping that at least his presence was some small measure of comfort. "I…I can't…"

"Kiba, I know it seems like the end of the world, but worse things have happened." Naruto told him softly.

"But she'll never take me back! You heard her!" Kiba sniffled, letting out a messy hiccup and wiping his nose on his sleeve. When he cried, Kiba looked remarkably like he was five years old. "She fucking hates me now!" he let out another long shuddering breath before straightening up a bit, eyes still red-rimmed and swollen. "Hey, how did you do it?"

"Do what?" Naruto blinked, surprised at this question.

"You know, what did you guys do? How is it…I mean, Neji caught you with Gaara and like five minutes later was willing to just forget it ever happened! What the fuck, man? What did you do?" Kiba asked. "And Sasuke, he was always fucking shit up, what did he do so you'd take him back?"

"There's not a trick," Naruto couldn't believe he was having this conversation again. It reminded him forcibly of what he had talked to Shino about years ago when it had come out that he'd had a past history with a girl he'd pretended was just his friend. "There's no secret way to get through things like this, no free way out. After the things that happened between us…it took me forever…just to learn to trust him, and that's even with how jealous he is, how he hovers over me constantly. And finally, I started to think, maybe he really…really does need me as much as he says. Plus, with Gaara…I mean, we don't exactly have a really standard relationship…not any of us…with the others, I mean…"

"Well, I don't want Temari to say I can just like, get all snuggly with Hinata the way you and Gaara are, it's cool, I don't…I never wanted to do that." Kiba insisted. "I care about her and everything, but I'm glad she moved on and stuff, that she had her own life, that she's happy…er, I guess…was…I don't know what's going to happen to any of us now. Shit…Suteru wouldn't leave her, would he?"

"I don't know…I've never really gotten to know him that well," Naruto admitted. "He's so isolated, you know? I mean, you can tell he really loves her and everything, but you'd have to be an idiot to see he didn't have this like massive inferiority thing going on, especially when it came to you. After all, he knew everything when he married her, and he still wanted to, so you really have to wonder…why, right? And even if he thought, maybe I can make her love me instead, or at least make her happy…well, seeing the person you want so much go and do something like that with the person they were in love with for so long…well, I don't think I'd be okay with it, to be honest."

"So…and for Temari, too." Kiba flopped back down on his back, a desolate expression on his face. "There's really nothing I can do, is there? Just…get my shit out here before she hires a hitman."

"I guess. I mean, you never know. I really thought that Himeko thing was going to totally end things for Shino and Tenten, but they didn't, and look, now they're married and having a baby and everything!" Naruto told him bracingly. "Don't give up, Kiba. If you love her, you should let her know, you should just…you know. I mean, I'm sure she loves you, too. Otherwise, she wouldn't care who you slept with."

"Yeah…but I'm pretty sure she doesn't _love_ me sleeping with my ex-girlfriend in our bed." Kiba groaned, grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes as though trying to force everything away. "I wish Gaara had beat the shit out of me. I fucking deserve it."

"What, so you could feel like a martyr?" Naruto snorted. "It isn't going to make Temari decide you've been punished enough if you just let her brother kill you."

"God…and I have to find somewhere else to live." Kiba shook with mirthless laughter. "In one week! What the fuck, I'll never get a dorm room that fast. No way I can afford an apartment."

"Well…" Naruto pursed his lips. "Maybe…try using that week to show Temari how sorry you are…maybe she'll forgive you. You don't know! Or maybe she'll at least let you live here. She's really grown up about a lot of stuff. I mean, remember when Neji and Gaara started dating, she hated him, and she put up with him and was nice and stuff just for Gaara's sake. She won't force you to live on the streets, don't worry!"

"Yeah, well," Kiba sighed heavily. "She forgives people for things a lot…but did any of those people break her heart?"

"Kiba…" Naruto looked over at his friend in concern, and this time, the tears were silently pooling in his eyes and slipping down his cheeks. He turned away, curling into a ball in the bed he had so recently shared with Temari.

"And anyway…when you think about it, it's great about Shino and Tenten, but that's them, and this is us." Kiba's voice was soft and full of pain and guilt. "And Temari didn't even want to marry me before…so now…"

"It's not like she didn't _want_ to," Naruto gave him a pained smile. "She just meant…she didn't think it was fair some people can't…"

"Shit…sorry," Kiba let out another harsh sob. "I'm such a dick. Fucking cheat on the fucking love of my life with my ex, fucking screw up her marriage, and then I can't stop complaining about how Temari doesn't want to marry me, like you give a shit when you aren't even allowed…fuck!"

"Kiba…don't, come on, you aren't going to feel better if you sit up her blaming yourself for everything." Naruto grabbed his shoulder and squeezed bracingly. "You made a mistake, and I mean…at least you were drunk! She might forgive you, you don't know! And anyway, I'm sure she _does_ want to marry you, I'm sure that things will work out!"

"Right now," Kiba sniffled slowly. "I'd settle for her wanting to _look_ at me."

----------

To be continued…


	17. Chapter 17

If I Fall

Chapter 17

----------

"Oh my gosh, look at you!" Sakura scooped Aki up in her arms, unable to stop the laughter bubbling from her lips even if she had wanted to. "You're just _terrifying_, Aki."

"Wish!" she squealed and clapped her hands, and Sakura laughed again, hugging her and letting her back down when she started to squirm. "Boo!" She jumped at Sai, who was just leaving their bedroom in a pair of pajama pants.

"Oh my, that must be the most terrific witch I've ever seen." Sai arched both brows, and Sakura smiled warmly as he ruffled his hair and yawned while navigating the gate so he could access the stairs. "Excuse me a moment, Aki, I have a horrible need for some coffee."

"Aki, you have to be good if you want to wear your costume," Ino passed him on the stairs coming back up. "Remember, we're going to be quiet so daddy can sleep, right?"

"Why don't we just take her downstairs if Shikamaru's still in bed?" Sakura asked, still in a robe as she had been meaning to go downstairs for a shower when she had become distracted by the cuteness of Aki in a witch costume that had a lot more color and sequins than any witch costume Sakura had ever seen before.

"Oh…I guess I should, I was just trying to at least have my coffee by myself, you know." Ino gave her a tired smile. "I love her dearly, but it becomes wearing after a while. You have to snatch privacy when you can get it. You'll see what I mean when you and Sai…are you, yet?"

"No, not yet." Sakura felt that now-familiar guilty prickle, and picked Aki back up to try and cover for it. "Well, I'm not in any rush, I can bring her downstairs and play with her while you enjoy your coffee."

"Really? You don't mind?" Ino beamed gratitude. "Well, I suppose Sai would like to get more practice in, if he's wanting kids so much."

"Ah, yes, that's true." Sakura's smile became quite forced, and Ino did a double take, narrowing her eyes as she opened the gate for Sakura.

"Hey, everything's okay, isn't it? Between you two, I mean." Ino asked as they started down the stairs. "Just, with all this Kiba bullshit, I just don't think we need any more drama, but if you need to talk, you know. If there's anything you wanted to say or ask or anything…"

"No, I'm fine, we're fine." Sakura insisted. She did like Ino, and in a lot of things she respected her, but she was possibly one of the last people in the world she would consider sharing a secret with. "Thanks, don't worry about it, though! I'm just stressing about mid-terms, you know how that is."

"Oh, I know!" Ino went back to normal at once and locked the bottom gate back in place. "When do you think you're going to take the MCAT's?"

"I thought…maybe during winter break, you know, get them taken care of. Which schools are you looking at for next year?" Sakura asked, and Ino made an odd face, shrugging slightly.

"I haven't really made any final decisions, really. A few places look nice, but trying to keep in mind where Shikamaru can go and everything, that makes a difference. I want to keep together, especially with…with Aki and everything." Ino explained hesitantly.

"Right, it's different when you have a baby." Sakura nodded shortly. "More complicated, I suppose."

"I…yeah, well thanks for taking her!" Ino darted into the kitchen as if being chased, and Sakura wondered if Ino was having doubts about everything now.

_A little late for that. Plus…I'm sure she's just afraid, just like anyone else would be. I know she doesn't regret having Aki, or marrying Shikamaru. She's not as impulsive as people think, she really thinks things through._

"Hello," Sai was lounging in the living room, his hair ruffled and his face happy but still a bit sleepy. "Would you like some?" he offered her his coffee as she set Aki down, letting her tear through the living room, twirling and tumbling to show off her costume, losing her hat after about two minutes.

"Thanks, sweetie," she took the proffered cup and sipped before handing it back. Sai was blinking up at her, dark eyes wide and curious. "What is it?"

"Wondering if you were going to sit with me." He answered shortly, and she gave him a smile, moving around the couch to nestle against him as Aki found some toys wedged behind the other couch and started entertaining herself rather efficiently, if a little noisily. "This is nice. When we have our first child, would you prefer a boy or a girl?"

"I…hadn't thought." Sakura flushed and felt the guilt prickling again, trying to watch Aki, but finding that only made her feel worse. She settled for staring at her hands. "It could be a while, anyway."

"You needn't be worried," he told her, his tone heartfelt as he wrapped an arm around her and kissed her sweetly. "I did not expect success straight away. It could be quite some time before we are pregnant."

"I…I haven't." she cut herself short, realizing then that she had been on the edge of telling him that she was still taking the pill.

_I really need to stop…but I'm afraid of stopping, and then, the longer I wait, the worse it becomes. Can I really live with myself, even if I stopped right now and never told him, would that really be okay? It's not fair that I keep things like this secret, especially when I agreed…_

"I only have experience with girls, obviously," Sai told her, his face peaceful and soft. "But I would be happy either way, I think. I believe that having a child with you will be a very happy adventure, Sakura."

"Sai…" she felt the pressure building, could feel the tears welling up, could sense the way she was wavering, wanting to simply tell him everything, confess and beg forgiveness. "We should…I mean…" her voice cracked and he became alarmed at once.

"Sakura, are you all right?" he asked her, and she stood up quickly, turning and fleeing for the kitchen so he couldn't see her face.

"Fine, I'm just going to grab my own cup," she called out so he wouldn't follow her. "Watch Aki a minute, will you?"

"Sakura…I will…" it was clear from his tone that he was worried, but she had to get out of there, it was too much, and she just couldn't handle it. When she reached the kitchen, she did her best to compose herself, walking in and grabbing a mug, filling it with coffee and slumping against the counter, taking a deep breath.

"Um, hey," Ino was leaning against the opposite counter, a look of bewilderment on her face. "You seem to have misplaced something…"

"Sai's watching her." She took a deep breath, trying very hard not to cry or hyperventilate.

"Are you…okay?" Ino frowned at her, clearly concerned once more. "I mean…you look like you're freaking out. Aki's okay, isn't she?"

"She's fine, I'm the one who's a…I'm an idiot." Sakura shook her head vigorously and bent over the counter, rubbing her head with one hand and staring down into the coffee, setting it down so she wouldn't spill it.

"What do you mean?" Ino snorted. "You've totally got it together like more than anyone else in this house, except possibly Chouji, who's too smart to date anyone ever. Did you need to talk or something?"

"Ino…I love you, but when it comes to things like this…" Sakura shook her head and noticed a few tears leaving her eyes, splashing the counter, and one falling into her coffee. "If there's anyone I should be talking to, it's Sai, but sometimes…I think I just need to get everything straight in my own head. I can't just force things to work the way I think they should…the way I know they should, and I want so badly to do everything…but I can't…I'm not as perfect as you think, Ino. I'm sitting here making myself sick with worry, because if he knew…if he knew…" she burst into tears, and Ino set her cup down and came around the counter, ushering Sakura into the bathroom and locking it.

"Okay then," Ino had her sit on the closed toilet for lack of any better seat. "Now you need to tell me what's going on, because you're clearly about to flip shit and have a nervous breakdown or something, and everyone knows that's my thing, so I really have to insist you don't muscle in on the territory. I know you think I can't keep a secret, but I _do_ actually know when something isn't okay to talk about."

"Ino…I can't…can't tell you." Sakura shook her head, gulping and hiccupping around her tears. "I can't."

"Bullshit." Ino shook her head. "When I thought I was going to lose my mind, you were there for me, and you kept everything quiet even though you clearly didn't agree with me not letting people know what was going on. I owe you. And you know what? If you really need to talk to Sai about whatever it is, and you refuse to talk to me, then at least promise you'll talk to him. I don't like seeing you like this, Sakura, it freaks me out. I'm the crazy neurotic one."

"I already…know I need to talk to him, but…I'm so afraid of what he'll say." Sakura sniffled and wiped her nose, and Ino patted her shoulder, not sure what to say. "Do you ever think…like wish you could go back and change things? Like…with Aki…"

"The only thing I would have changed," Ino answered her sternly, "is I would have told him right when I knew. And probably I wouldn't have flipped shit and skipped town. That wasn't my finest hour."

"So…I mean, but it's going to be so hard…" Sakura sniffled again. "When you're trying to balance school and Aki by yourself."

"I won't be by myself, I'll be with Shikamaru." Ino reminded her. "And that's what matters. Anything else that happens, we can handle…" she let out a long sigh. "Look, the fact of the matter is, I don't think I'll be going to med school next year."

"What?" Sakura blanched, as though all her private fears had just been confirmed. "But…you said that no matter what…"

"Well…" Ino gave her a wry grin. "The truth is…well, I'm waiting for Shikamaru to be awake to tell him, but I mean, I know you can keep a lid on it…I just found out myself, so…" Ino shrugged and flushed and Sakura realized what she was trying to say.

"Again?" Sakura was dumbfounded. "Christ, I thought you guys were being careful."

"Yeah, just as careful as last time." Ino smiled ruefully. "Honestly, I'm a little afraid of what his reaction will be, it was such a drama-fest last time, I'm sure he's dreading it, but still…I want to show him at least that this time, this time I'm grown up, and I can just come out and say it and…everything will be okay, I know. I'm not afraid the way I was last time. I mean, I'm a little afraid, obviously, but I'm not afraid he's going to leave me or anything like that, and if I know that…it's okay. I know it will be okay." Ino leaned down and squeezed Sakura's shoulders bracingly. "Sai's a good guy, and he loves you. He's totally devoted to you, and no matter what you did or whatever, if you're just honest, I'm sure he'll listen to you, and he'll stay with you, and really, that's the big thing you're afraid of, right? So don't worry."

"Ino…I wish it was just—" Sakura froze at a knock on the door, and Ino arched her eyebrows, turning to the door and releasing Sakura.

"Sakura, are you in there?" Sai's voice reached them, and the girls looked at each other in surprise. "I wanted to be sure you are fine. You seemed upset before."

"Hey, who's watching Aki?" Ino asked, suddenly annoyed.

"I have her here," Sai answered after a pause. "I apologize, Ino, I was looking for Sakura."

"She's here." Ino called out, and Sakura gave her a look of alarm. "Here," she unlocked the door and reached out, taking her daughter from him. "I'll take this one, you take that one." She nodded toward Sakura, who sat frozen, her tear-streaked face paling with alarm. "She needs to tell you something, I guess."

"Oh…" Sai stepped past her and closed the door, but as soon as he saw Sakura, he rushed to her, kneeling beside her and reaching up to brush her bangs out of her face. "Sakura, you've been crying," he stated the obvious. "There is something you needed to tell me?"

"Sai…" she managed a small smile for his sake. "You're so good."

"I try to be," he frowned, still caressing the side of her face with his cool hand. "But you are upset…"

"It's my own fault." Sakura told him, realizing that she would have to just be honest with him now, if she wanted to avoid things becoming completely irreparable between them. "Everything…I have to tell you, but I'm afraid you'll hate me."

"I could never hate you," Sai told her solemnly. "I could sooner hate myself."

"When you say things like that," Sakura leaned forward, her lips trembling against his, "I don't know whether to believe you or to be more afraid than before."

"Believe me," Sai supplied, and she let out a nervous giggle, kissing him softly, wanting to have the taste of him on her lips when she finally explained everything.

"I'm afraid of what it could mean, having a baby." She told him in a whispered rush. He blinked, and nodded slightly, prompting her to continue. "I wanted…wanted to do what you wanted, and when you asked me, you were so…so earnest and sweet. I wanted to believe that it would all be okay, that I could trust you, and that it wouldn't be hard to work, to do everything else with a child as well, but I was afraid, so I…I'm still taking the pill. I never stopped. I thought…after a couple days or weeks, I'd be okay with it and I'd stop and everything could be fine, but every time I think about it, I feel like I'm going to suffocate." She shuddered, tears spilling down her face. "I want a family some day, and I want it with you, but I'm so…afraid."

"Oh." Sai managed after a long silence, his face expressionless. "I see."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied, I should have told you I wasn't really ready after all…but you were so happy! I wanted so badly for you to be that happy…" she burst into noisy tears, and worse than her feeling of guilt was the lack of any hand on her back, on her head, nothing of the comfort he so usually would offer her at once.

_What did I expect?_

Despite his words, she had known it would end this way. How could he simply nod and smile and wipe her tears away and tell her it was fine, that he was only happy if she was happy, so it was better this way. That was what she wanted him to say, but this was past the limit. She'd lied to him, promised to do something for him that he desperately wanted, acted as though she wanted it, too. She'd let it go on for so long that he had been entertaining happy daydreams about the way things would be once they had a child, and all the time, she'd been deceiving him. How could he let that go?

"I have a question." The voice was so calm, so neutral, as if none of this had anything to do with him, and Sakura was shocked when she looked up and saw the strained look on his face. "Do you actually want children at all? Please, be honest."

"Y…yes, I do." She answered, sniffling and trying to look at him without more tears escaping her eyes, but it was nearly impossible. "Someday."

"If…if one of us was not…able, would you want to adopt?" he asked, his voice now shaky. She nodded slowly, not sure where this question was coming from, but seeing that it was very important to him.

"If it was me…that could not have children," Sai's voice actually cracked here. "Would you…look elsewhere instead?"

"What…like have kids with someone else?" she was shocked at the suggestion. "What would be the point of that? I want your children, and if we have to adopt, they would still be ours."

"So…you would not…" Sai nodded slightly, slowly, and then lunged forward and hugged her so tightly she almost fell. She moved after a moment of shock, wrapping her arms around him as well and breathed in deeply, relief flooding through her as she felt him shake against her. It took her a few moments to realize that he was crying, and she tried not to be alarmed. "I…was afraid, as well."

"Sai, what do you mean?" she ran her fingers through his hair soothingly, nuzzling his shoulder and holding him as tightly as she could. "Afraid I'd leave you over something like that?"

"You were afraid, also." He pointed out, his voice scratchy and low. She pulled back, a little alarmed to see his eyes swollen, his face blotchy, but at the same time…knowing he had fears similar to hers…it made everything seem easier. "Afraid if you did not want children I would leave you. I would not leave you, though I would be sad. I love you too much, Sakura, I have told you."

"I shouldn't have doubted," she kissed him softly. "But I still should have been honest with you."

"We should learn to say these things aloud when they first trouble us," Sai told her, smiling softly, his hands shaking as they moved to hold her face. "It is much worse when we wait and let the fears feed on our doubts."

"You're right." She smiled and eased out of the embrace, standing and pulling him up. "Let's take a shower."

"Right now?" he blinked, but then nodded knowingly. "I see, it is time for make-up sex."

"Yes, I can't get anything past you." She giggled, turning on the taps and letting him untie her robe, his hands moving knowingly over her form as she turned back to let the robe fall off into his grasp. He looped it over the towel rack and she stepped into the shower, closing the curtain, feeling suddenly shy, standing there completely naked before him. She busied herself adjusting the temperature and letting the water wet her hair down, and as she reached for the shampoo, he stepped inside after her, a towel draping over the shower rod, his skin so brilliantly white it made her feel slightly less naked by comparison.

"No, let me," he grabbed the shampoo, and at his urging, she turned and tilted her head back, the water sliding over both of them as he massaged the shampoo into her hair carefully. It wasn't the first time they had taken a shower together, but something about it…she felt oddly nervous, and at the same time excited and full of anticipation, as if she had never felt his hands on her like this, as if the feel of his breath ghosting over her wet neck was something completely new to her. "I love your hair," he told her softly. "The color…and your eyes, even your skin. Every time I look at you, I think I must seem very black and white in comparison to the beautiful colors that make you up."

"Sai," she flushed and giggled, turning back and leaning into the shower's flow to rinse out her hair. "You're so gorgeous, I don't know how you can be concerned. And anyway, I know how to get some color," she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him and kissing him thoroughly, grinding against him slowly as he groaned into her mouth. When she pulled away she smirked up at him. "Your cheeks are pink, and your lips are almost red…and then there's this," she ran a hand down his flank, and it was clear what she was talking about as they both glanced down. "Even without that, you're still so…you look like someone carved you out of marble, and one day you just decided to start walking around."

"Sakura," he sighed, pulling her around and pushing her against the wall of the shower, his hands moving a bit more urgently now, his mouth hot on her skin. "Even if you never did want children, I would still love you. I would rather be alone with you than have you resent me."

"Sai," she closed her eyes as she felt his fingers slipping into her, wet and slippery and warm. "Is this…really the best time for this conversation?" she gasped.

"I love you," he breathed against the juncture of her neck. "I want you to know that, I don't want any doubt."

"I was just afraid…afraid I'd become some housewife," she sighed as he moved against her insistently, and she knew that he wouldn't be able to take it slowly this time. His fingers left, and she let out a gasp at the loss, "and then what would there be about me…to keep you at my side."

"As long as you're Sakura, I will always stay by your side," he assured her, looping her leg over an arm, and with no more pretense, pushed inside of her, and she nearly sobbed with the pleasure of it, the feeling of having him want her this much, the feeling of wanting him back, of knowing that even when she wasn't perfect, neither was he, and they could still be happy, even then. The look in his eyes was enough to shatter her heart and put it back together again, so even though her own eyes wanted to slide closed and bask in the pleasure of him moving inside her, she kept her gaze locked on his, struggling to keep her eyes open even as he kissed her feverishly, moving more erratically until he let out a strangled yell, and she felt herself falling as well. Miraculously, they were both standing still when she started to come to her senses, and he had released her leg, leaning against her and panting her hands clutching at him like he was her lifeline.

Then something odd happened. Over the past couple of months, whenever they were together, as they recovered, she found herself thinking that he was probably hoping she'd become pregnant now, but as the thoughts bubbled up, she dismissed them, since he knew she couldn't be, since he knew she was still on the pill. And she felt a little pang of sadness. Of course, she knew she wanted a child some day, but after everything…she shouldn't be upset that there was no way she was pregnant right then.

Unless…she'd just needed the reassurance he had given her. Unless she really did want to have his child as soon as possible.

_After all, once I'm a doctor…I wouldn't have much time to spare for that._

And what if she had to put her career aside, or do something else, something less stressful? Her main concern was that she would disappoint Sai, that he would be disillusioned and leave her. But he had said it himself.

"_As long as you're Sakura, I will always stay by your side."_

_Was that really all I needed to hear all this time? All this fuss, my panic over thinking that he might really leave me just because I was focusing on our family more than my career. What kind of man would do that, anyway?_

_Certainly not Sai._

"I love you," she kissed his wet head, and he raised himself up, kissing her back as the water started to go cold, twisting a lock of her hair in his fingers, fascinated by the dark shade it turned when wet, somewhere between fuchsia and a pale red. They hadn't accomplished more than washing her hair, but at the same time, they'd made a great step together.

She'd need a few days to really wrap her mind around it, but she thought that maybe…maybe she was starting to be ready to be a mother. If not…at least she was feeling like this was something she could trust, and that maybe relying on Sai a little wouldn't really be so bad.

----------

"Doesn't that bother you?" Tenten asked Sasuke, not really looking at him as her head tilted to one side. Beside her, the dark-haired man ate a spoonful of what appeared to be Lucky Charms and shrugged nonchalantly, dark eyes darting to the kitchen, where Gaara and Naruto were kissing very slowly, very deeply, and very much where everyone could see them. Sasuke understood. It was easy to get distracted from filling a coffee cup up when Naruto was right next to the coffee maker making oatmeal and looking adorable and sleepy.

"Eh," he answered in a rather non-committal fashion, noticing that Gaara's hand seemed to have just disappeared into Naruto's pajama pants, the only article of clothing his boyfriend had on for his breakfast preparation. "You get used to it."

"But…I mean…look at them," Tenten was apparently following her own instruction quite avidly, and her eyes widened as Naruto made a gasping noise and bucked against Gaara's hand. "That's…that's your boyfriend in there."

"Yep," Sasuke nodded, trying to see if he could fill his spoon with marshmallows. Why they even bothered to put those other things in the cereal was beyond him. They'd save a lot of time just buying bags of colored marshmallows for his breakfast.

"And Gaara…I think they're…" Tenten drifted off as Gaara whispered something in Naruto's ear and the blonde went brilliantly red. Finally, Gaara pulled away, gave Sasuke a broad wink, and left the kitchen looking rather pleased with himself, although having forgotten to get any coffee. Sasuke continued to eat his cereal, seemingly not too concerned with any of this, and Tenten gawked, shaking her head in disbelief. "I'm sorry, maybe it's just me, but I don't understand how you can watch him with someone else and just…just be fine with it. Aren't you like, really jealous and stuff?"

"We have an understanding," Sasuke explained shortly. "And it's not just anyone. Gaara and Neji are different."

"Oh…I see," Tenten wasn't sure she did see, other than the fact that despite may dire predictions about what the fall-out of the now legendary night of the power outage, the night of her own marriage, the only real problem that seemed to have resulted was that Kiba and Temari couldn't be in the same room as each other without Temari storming out, likely after issuing some choice insults, and Kiba was doing a rather good impression of someone who was going to start writing emo poetry and possibly paint his fingernails black.

Also, the four men that Ino had witnessed…uniting the camps, as it were, seemed to be hell-bent on making sure everyone knew that they were totally okay with everything that had happened, and the main side-effect was that all four of them seemed to think that any time at least two of them were in the same room, they needed to make sure everyone saw this, as with the display she had just watched in the kitchen. In addition, there was a lot of confusing room-swapping and sharing that had completely confounded even Ino's dedicated attempts to figure out who was with who. Tenten was honestly starting to believe that they had all four just decided that if they were all going to have to be sexy in the same house, they might as well enjoy each other as much as possible. Living across from one of the rooms they made a permanent habitation meant she got to hear quite a bit of this.

They certainly didn't _sound_ like they were fighting.

"I can't believe you're eating that." Sasuke made a face of such disgust at Naruto's bowl of oatmeal that the blonde, still flushed with lips reddened from his encounter with Gaara, laughed out loud and stuck out his tongue, plopping into the seat beside Sasuke as naturally as if he hadn't just spent nearly ten minutes making out with another guy in the kitchen. Tenten was glad there wasn't any fighting going on, but she certainly wouldn't be as willing to share Shino as Sasuke was willing to share Naruto, even if she hand-picked the people he'd be shared with.

In addition, every time Temari was in the room with any combination of them whenever they became…excessively friendly, as it were, she left in such a huff that no one had to ask how she felt about the evolution of her brother's relationships with the other men. Possibly she was angrier than she should have been just because of her disapproval of Gaara's wanderings, but then again, considering the fact that she was now living in open hostility against Kiba, who was sleeping in the den, and the series of events that had led to this cold war, it made sense that she would feel a lot of rage toward people who were totally fine with their partners sleeping with other people.

"Hey, you should try eating healthier," Naruto advised him with all the righteousness of someone who didn't regularly eat pizza for dinner and crackers and cheese spread for lunch. "Might improve your attitude."

"Is this an official complaint?" Sasuke arched one dark brow. "I think my attitude has been nothing if not exceptional, all things considered."

"Take it how you want," Naruto shoveled the oatmeal into his mouth, grinning mischievously. "Also, Neji told me you're getting fat."

"Okay, that's it." Sasuke set his spoon down with a clank and lunged at Naruto, who despite a great show of resisting was laughing so hard that it wasn't very much work for Sasuke to heave the blonde over his shoulder and carry him out of the dining room. "Time for your attitude adjustment." He growled, carrying Naruto down the hall, and Tenten felt her face redden slightly as she heard what really could only be Neji and Gaara's door open and close, Naruto still laughing uproariously as he complained rather half-heartedly about being manhandled.

About ten minutes later, Shino stumbled into the kitchen looking dazed and a little disturbed. She gestured at a chair and stood to get him some coffee while he tried to wake up and forget about what had woken him in the first place.

"Those four…" he mumbled, accepting the cup of coffee as his wife sat to finish her toast, no longer distracted by hot men pawing each other and making out in the kitchen. "I thought it was bad living next to Neji and Gaara before…"

"Sorry, babe," she kissed his forehead and giggled as her lips left behind a few crumbs, which she brushed away with a gentle thumb. "And think, it's only Halloween. We have until mid-May to live with this." He groaned heavily and drooped heavily.

"Maybe it's time we moved out." He suggested, only half in jest. Tenten considered the thought…but then again, despite the lack of privacy, it was really nice sharing a place with her friends, and with a baby on the way, it would be nice to have the extra help.

"I think we can make it." She smiled wickedly. "Plus…it is a little hot, when you think about it."

"Are you going to turn into Ino now that I've married you?" he asked, raising his eyebrow in question, and she burst into giggles.

"No, no, I'm just teasing." She assured him. "But…well, it doesn't really _bother_ me. I'll leave it at that."

"Great." He nodded slowly, sipping his coffee in a resigned fashion. "My wife is ogling the foursome living across the hall."

"Well, technically Naruto and Sasuke live upstairs. Ino says they even go up there sometimes, too. They can hear it." She nodded knowingly, and at that moment the blonde entered the kitchen, carting Shikamaru as if he were some sort of zombie. "Morning Ino, morning Shikamaru!" she called out.

"Morning guys," Ino smiled brightly at them, grabbing a mug and filling it with coffee, pressing it into Shikamaru's hands and ushering him toward the table. "How convenient that you're here. I have something to tell Shikamaru, but I think that you guys would really be excited to hear."

"You're sound-proofing Neji and Gaara's room?" Shino guessed and Shikamaru snorted into his coffee, slurping at it sleepily, his eyes only opened a bare slit to allow him to locate the cup and bring it to his mouth.

"No, no, we have to wait until Shikamaru's had a cup of coffee." Ino nodded sharply. "Never try to tell him anything before he's finished the first cup, he never remembers."

"That must be a remarkable excuse any time he forgets anything." Shino observed, sipping his coffee and watching the other man, wondering if the glazed over look was an act or part of his extremely slow progress toward consciousness.

"So if you made out with another guy in front of him, he wouldn't remember?" Tenten asked, curious, and Shino pursed his lips slightly as both Ino and Shikamaru gave her shocked looks. "Eh, sorry, just before…Gaara and Naruto," she did an odd little dance to illustrate what she meant, "and Sasuke the whole time, just eating his cereal like nothing's up."

"Man, I always miss the good stuff." Ino rolled her eyes, and Shikamaru shot her a sidelong look, but opted for drinking his coffee instead of calling out her behavior. "Just when I thought it couldn't be any more entertaining living in a house full of sexy men, four of them constantly on each other, they become even _more_ all on each other." Shikamaru made an odd sort of noise, Tenten thought he had been meaning to growl at her, but had choked in the attempt, what with his mouth full of coffee. Ino turned to him and kissed his temple lightly as he continued to eye her suspiciously over the rim of his mug. "Don't worry, you're sexy, too."

"It's so convincing when she says it like that." Tenten observed, chuckling slightly.

"So what's this exciting news?" Shikamaru, either fully awake or very sick of listening to Ino wax poetic about her voyeuristic tendencies, set down his empty cup, and she beamed at him, sitting up straight as she prepared to speak. He held up a finger in warning. "It better not have anything to do with any combination of those four doing anything that they should really do in their own room, or I'll be very annoyed."

"With the door closed," Shino added softly, and Tenten snickered, turning to Ino, who was looking extremely pleased with herself.

"I'm pregnant!" she announced, looking as though this was a feat she had accomplished against great adversity, and deserved no small amount of praise.

"Again?" Tenten was the first to speak. Shino was narrowing his eyes at the blonde as though waiting for some twisted punch line, and Shikamaru looked as though all the blood had drained from his face. He was wavering slightly, as though he might faint. "Damn, don't you guys know how birth control works at all?"

"They might have been trying," Shino defended, and Tenten gave him an incredulous look.

"Which is why Shikamaru looks like he just swallowed his own tongue." Tenten rolled her eyes. "It's okay, Shikamaru, it'll be fine. No way it'll be a repeat of last time." This did not seem to reassure him at all, and he let out a noise like a death rattle, eyes going wide as he clutched his chair with one hand and the table with the other, as though trying to prevent the world from falling away from him and leaving him behind. Or perhaps he really had swallowed his own tongue. It was hard to tell.

"Isn't it great! I just took the test this morning, and I wanted to tell you right away, honey." Ino told him, still clearly pleased with herself despite his less than enthusiastic response from her still speechless husband. "I noticed I was a little late, and I figured…might as well know sooner than later, right? Plus, I figured Sakura wouldn't notice if I stole one of those tests they've got stashed in the bathroom. Think of it! Our baby will only be a little younger than yours! They'll grow up together, and Aki can play big sister. Oh! And if Hinata and Sakura hurry up and get pregnant…"

"I really don't think Hinata's in the most likely situation for that sort of thing at the moment…" Tenten ventured.

"Oh, yeah right, Suteru's still living with her, you know what _that_ means. He just can't say no to her! Probably he's hoping the Kiba magic pays off a second time, right? Then the pressure's off him, he can just enjoy his baby-having time." Ino giggled, and Tenten realized that either Ino was the least sensitive human being ever, or she was on what of the greatest emotional high of anyone ever, and nothing could possibly bring her down. "She could be pregnant _right_ now, she just doesn't know it yet." Ino clapped her hands in excitement and turned to Shikamaru, beaming at him expectantly. "So, then?" she asked him expectantly, and he made a gulping noise, shuddering slightly and managed a very weak smile.

"It's…good, right?" he sounded so weak and hesitant, Tenten thought that he really might actually faint. "Good. Pregnant again. It's good." He sounded as though he was trying to convince himself, as though through repeating the words, he could make them true, could make himself believe them.

"I know it's surprising," she patted him on top of the head like he was a well-behaved child. "I almost freaked out when I did the test, but then I sat and thought about it, and I realized…this is a good thing! I mean, having Aki, I think that brought us closer together, and I know you don't regret for a minute anything that happened…well, except that little breakdown you had, but you're doing much better this time, sweetheart. So, I mean, this could mean that things are a little more difficult, but I don't want you to worry! You know my parents are there for us, and your parents would also help out if we needed, and I can stay with the kids, and you can finish school, and then I can go back once they're a bit older, and it'll be _great_, you'll see, so don't worry!"

"Oh, Ino," Tenten frowned as she realized what the blonde was saying. "You're not going to go to med school?"

"Well, it wouldn't make sense! One of us has to stay home, right?" she gave them a tight grin, and Tenten thought for the first time her optimism was something of a façade, something she was forcing so that Shikamaru would take the news well.

_Unbelievable…after everything they've been through, she's still afraid he'll skip out on her, that he'll decide she's too much trouble._

"I think…we should probably discuss this alone." Shikamaru was looking a little grey, and Tenten really couldn't blame him. Imagine if she had broken the news to Shino like that…

_Even that wouldn't be the same…at least we were trying, this is a total surprise to him._

"Sure! Don't worry, we can iron out all the details, we have months and months before it's really going to make a difference, but I know, it would probably be better to get everything squared away sooner than later. Oooh! I should call my mom, she'll totally flip." Ino giggled and clapped her hands as Temari came in, looking as surly as she had since last weekend.

"What's this, then?" she snapped, sitting down with her coffee and giving them all disapproving looks. Tenten had a private theory that Temari disapproved of anyone being happy when she was not. "Making such a racket, some people like to sleep in on the weekends, you know."

"We're not being _that_ loud," Ino rolled her eyes. "Besides, everyone who lives on this floor is either in here or having sex, so if anyone's disturbing anyone—"

"Ino, stop," Shikamaru gave her a tight shake of her head and she bit back her words before plowing forward, beaming with excitement.

"I'm pregnant!" she announced, and despite the fact that he'd had some time to process this, Shikamaru again made an odd choking noise. Shino started laughing at this, but did such a good job hiding it in his cup of coffee that Tenten let it slide. "We're going to have another baby! Isn't that great?"

"Fabulous." Temari's snarl somewhat belied the sincerity that her response might have contained. "You two make using condoms seem like brain surgery."

"Sometimes, these things are just _fated_." Ino answered her primly, patting her utterly flat stomach with all the apparent pride of someone much further advanced in their pregnancy. "The way I figure, I'll probably be due like June or July, so you guys will miss it, but you'll have to come meet Aki's little brother or sister. Oh! And bring your baby. It'll be so sweet. You said it's going to be a boy, right? Oh my gosh, what if I have another girl, then your son will have to choose which one to marry…"

"Um, are we really arranging our unborn children's marriages?" Tenten gave her a wry look. "Cause I've got to say, I'm really not okay with that."

"Well, obviously Aki's going to be gorgeous and smart, and if this one's a girl, she'll be just the same! It's no saying which one your son would want, but he'd obviously fall in love with them _both_." Ino was clearly quite convinced of this. "I hope he has Shino's eyes…"

"Um, I'm still right here." Shino pointed out.

"Yeah, how do you think I feel?" Tenten shook her head. "She wants our son to look like you so she can like…live vestigially through her daughter…this is like the most screwed up stuff ever."

"That's just Ino." Shikamaru shook his head, pursing his lips. "Come on…we really need to go talk."

"Fine, fine," Ino was clearly hesitant to leave all the attention she was getting in the dining room, but even in her good mood, she had to realize that this pregnancy, while not necessarily a bad thing, was also not going to be so simple as just smiling and hoping for the best. She gave them all one last brilliant smile before following her husband back upstairs.

"Man, think of how this will be for Aki," Tenten told her husband after a moment of watching Temari moodily glare at her coffee, as though it had somehow done something to make her hate everything more. "She's been the center of attention of all of us for two years, and suddenly she's going to have just her parents, and she won't even have them to herself. Get ready for the Ino-side to come out."

"I hadn't thought of that." Shino frowned slightly. "She's always been happy…maybe she'll just take it in stride."

"Yeah, they can hope for that." Tenten snorted. "I predict severe tantrums. I mean, she's Shikamaru's daughter, but she's also _Ino's_ daughter. Think about that."

"Ugh." Shino shuddered, looking down at his cup and finishing off the coffee still in it. "I love you very much."

"Why, because I'm not a freak?" Tenten teased, and Temari made a noise of disgust. "Oh, for fuck's sake, everyone knows what happened, but that doesn't mean you have to take it out on us! Just talk to him, work it out or actually kick him out instead of dancing around it, do what you need to do, and stop punishing everyone else for Kiba's stupid drunken mishaps."

"Sleeping with another woman is a little _more_ than a mishap!" Temari snapped, but just as soon as her anger came out, she reigned it in, her back going ramrod straight and her movements becoming very delicate and precise. Tenten was reminded forcibly of Shino's mother when she was angry. Was this some sort of rich woman trick? Act like nothing mattered more than how you held your cup, and suddenly your problems go away? "I would think you, of all people, would understand how I feel."

"Well, to be fair," Tenten frowned after realizing what Temari was referring to, "I didn't make Shino sign an affidavit saying he'd like, never been with another girl ever before, and that he'd immediately tell me all the gory details as soon as one of his exes popped in to be a crazy stalking whack-a-doo. So really, I overreacted a bit, I think."

"But I should have told you as soon as it became clear what she was after." Shino told Tenten loyally, and she grinned, ruffling up his hair. She remembered how angry she had been over the Himeko thing, but more than anything, she had been afraid he'd cast her aside, afraid he'd opt for the easier option. Viewed in the context of what else was going on, she had panicked. Seeing Hinata cast Kiba aside because of her father's wishes, Tenten had felt their relationship also must be doomed, but she had underestimated Shino severely.

"We clearly learned we need to just talk to each other when something's up, that's all." Tenten shrugged and turned a sharp eye on Temari. "So, you know…"

"You know, I can manage my own affairs quite nicely without your oh-so-helpful advice," Temari told her icily. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to go make some calls and get candy for tonight. It is Halloween, after all, and I would _like_ my last year in this house to be a good one."

"Wait, we're not still having a party, are we?" Tenten blinked at her. "Only everyone assumed you were too pissed and it wouldn't be a good idea, so like no one has costumes or anything. Well, except Aki, but we figured that didn't count. She's two, she doesn't understand break-ups and stuff."

"I'm not going to let last week's 'mishap,' as you termed it, stop _me_ from having a good time with my friends. It's fine if no one has costumes, we'll still need candy for any kids that come by, and we can watch Twilight Zone or movies like we did last year. It will be _great_." She gritted out the last word like it was costing her a great deal. "I'm sure Kankurou will be more than willing to provide us a full bar."

"You can't have people _drinking!_" Tenten squawked. "Are you just hoping there will be something more scandalous that can happen so that you can forget about Kiba and like, write off the thing with your brother and just move on with your life? Because I really don't think—"

"This is _my_ house, and if you do not want to take part, fine," Temari told her, a challenging look on her face.

"Well, just tell me Hinata's not coming." Tenten rolled her eyes, but Temari left without answering and she blinked at Shino. "She wouldn't…wouldn't have, right?"

"Maybe we should just barricade ourselves in our room." Shino suggested.

"Yeah, we'll have front-row seats to Drunken Orgy Two, Electric Bugaloo!" Tenten let out a hysterical giggle. "Oh my god, she's lost her mind…that must be it. There's no way she'll really go through with it. I mean…it'll just be a few of us sitting around watching movies and giving kids candy. She won't even come in the room if Kiba's in there. Or maybe…oh, you don't think she's planning on killing them both…do you?"

"She is acting oddly." Shino frowned and rubbed his chin. "Perhaps we should stay at a hotel tonight, just in case."

"Eh…tempting." Tenten slumped in her chair slightly, folding her arms on the table and dropping her chin in them. "But…I mean, I can't just cut and run when something bad might happen. Let's…let's warn Naruto. He'll do something, right?"

"Be my guest," Shino gave her a wry look. "Step one: extricate him from the free-love fest in our neighbors' room."

"Sometimes I wish we had boring, normal friends…and you know what?" she looked at him sideways, still resting her head in her arms. "I think _we're _the boring normal ones. And we mate scorpions and raise mantises."

"I don't think you're boring," he assured her, and she laughed, not sure that was what she needed to hear, but glad that at least whatever happened, he'd be there, solid and dependable and always with her best interests at heart.

----------

"Are you ready?" Suteru strode into the room, his face stuck in the same half-smile it had been frozen in whenever he looked at her for the last week. His eyes were steely, and even though he was smiling at her, all she could think of whenever he looked at her was that he was acting. It was like they were in some twisted play, except he would just keep doing it for the rest of their lives if she let it go on that way. She wanted to fix it, wanted to have him back the way he had been before Tenten's wedding, but she didn't know what she could do to get that.

For one thing, she was frankly terrified of bringing up the Kiba situation. For another, any time she tried to steer the conversation in that direction, thinking that perhaps he would just…just start yelling at her and get it out of his system, either be quit of her or forgive her, or whatever, he changed tack so fast it was like some crazy conversational dance she didn't know the steps to.

Well, sadly, she knew what he was doing. She'd seen her father do it enough, she had been trained to do the same thing. _Make it seem like everything is fine, make it seem like everything is perfect, and it will be. It doesn't really matter if you're happy, we're too important, there's too much scrutiny. Everything has to _look_ right._ She could hear her father's voice, and very dimly, her mother's saying similar words. Hanabi could do it better than she could, which was funny, since she seemed to think it was all a joke and just did whatever she wanted anyway, as though to infuriate her father. Hinata could hide her emotions to an extent, but when it came to it…she was too frail, too sensitive, and she cared too much what was being thought of her.

_You want everyone to love you, and you should forget it. All your life, people are going to either hate you outright because you're better than them or try to cozy up to you to get favors. The thing to understand is that they _all_ hate you. Let that inform your actions, and you'll never go far wrong._

Again, her father…at first, that had been her concern with Suteru. He'd been raised in this world as well, being told these things for as long as he could remember. Surely he'd be just the same. But he had opened up to her, told her so many things about his hopes and dreams for himself, for both of them. He'd not only told her about her triumphs, but also shared his failures, and he had the ability to make fun of himself, to see the figure he cut and to know not to take himself so seriously in private as he was meant to be in public. She had thought…thought that with him, she would belong, but she wouldn't feel inferior, she wouldn't feel ignored the way she always had with her father.

But now…

_It's like he called my father to ask for advice, and this is exactly what my father would have told him to do. Just act as though everything is fine. You're married, a divorce at this point would be unwise. The good thing is that she's the one who messed things up, so if you act gracious, she'll be so indebted to you she won't do anything to embarrass either of you any time in the future. I can just hear him…_

It made her ashamed, but it also made her, oddly enough, furious. She felt like she was a little girl, trying desperately to get her father's attention all over again. She could remember an incident…they had been in public, some festival, she thought. She remembered she'd been in a light kimono, yanking at her father's sleeve, bursting into tears. Her mother had been there, and she'd simply acted as if she didn't know this strange little girl. Finally, her father had steered her away from where people could see and instead of yelling at her, had called his driver to pick her up and take her home, and had continued with his own evening as though nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. Probably he had made up a story about her eating too many sweets and becoming ill, something like that would be just like him. And now…it wasn't like she had slept with Kiba because she had planned it, or even wanted to. She was horribly sorry, and had a sick feeling in her stomach every time she thought of it, a hot twisting knot of guilt that she knew wouldn't go away for a long time, even if Suteru would let her apologize properly. But he wouldn't, he'd just send her on, act as though everything was fine, continue holding her arm in public, that benign little smile on his face…she wanted to punch it!

_Great, I've managed against all conceivable odds to marry my father._

She could still remember when they'd talked everything out at the end of her sophomore year, after her first miscarriage, when she'd asked for a separation. He'd been so understanding, so allowing. Her father would never have agreed to what she had asked…not only a separation, but going back to the school he had pulled her out of, letting Suteru cover her tuition, and on top of it moving back into a house with the very man who her father had considered too low for her, and had therefore arranged the marriage with Suteru to keep her away from him in the first place. But he had smiled softly, agreed to everything, only asking if it would be okay for him to see her on occasion, for them to really get to know each other, possibly give the relationship a real chance. It had been so sweet, so endearing and so unlike anything she'd been raised to expect from men of her own class, she couldn't say no even if she'd wanted to.

_That moment, while he held my hand at the coffee shop…that's the moment I really started to love him, I think. It took me longer to realize, but that moment…that's the man I fell in love with. Gentle and understanding, caring and sweet and honest…_

_Where did he go?_

"I really don't think this is a good idea." She told him, lowering her eyes so she wouldn't have to see the way he looked at her, so blankly. _If you hate me, just say it! Don't do this, this is the thing I hate most!_ "I mean…I can't even think why Temari would want me over after—"

"You've been her friend for years, Hinata," he told her, his voice as expressionless as it always was now. "Of course she would want you to come over. We had a lovely time last year, you recall."

"We dressed up as…Peter Pan and Tinkerbell…" she felt like she would start crying as she remembered them goofing around, the hysterics of laughter he put her into trying to act like Peter Pan and misquoting everything…probably on purpose, now that she thought of it. Once he had her laughing, he always kept at it until she was crying from mirth, that was one of the things about him she loved. "It was fun…"

"Well, Temari told us we need not worry about costumes this year, which is just as well." He looked in a mirror, fixing his hair and she looked on, amazed at how blasé he was acting about everything. "I must admit it completely slipped my mind until I received her call to confirm this morning. I would have been sure she would have simply called you, it was odd."

_Well, she's not about to call me up, now is she? Maybe we can compare notes on Kiba, is that what you're thinking? Even without last week, I'd have plenty of material to draw from, in case you'd forgotten!_

She wanted to yell at him, to see him actually get angry…no, to see him show it. She _knew_ he was angry. Why else would he be acting this way? It didn't make any sense, and she didn't know how long she could take it before she really did just scream at him.

"Suteru, could I ask you something?" she pursed her lips and looked down at her hands, not sure she'd keep what little courage she had if she had to meet his eyes. "Did you really want to continue on this way? If you want a divorce, I won't—"

"Hinata, my dear, why would I want a divorce?" he asked her, his tone like ice. "Do you imagine I'm unhappy?"

"If you…don't love me anymore…I understand." She felt the tears overflow, felt one hit her folded hands, and with her vision blurred, she could finally look up.

"Of course I love you," he told her sternly. "When have I done anything to make you think otherwise?"

"How am I supposed to believe it when you're doing that!" she burst out and turned around, throwing herself on the bed and bursting into tears, waiting for him to either comfort her or leave her and be done with it.

"What am I doing?" he asked her, his tone waspish. "I haven't done anything I can think of, but perhaps you're remembering things differently. Should we compare notes?"

"Stop it! Just stop it and leave me alone!" she shrieked, and he blinked at her, emotion flashing across his face for an instant, but she had her face buried in the pillows, where she couldn't see anything he did.

"Really, you're acting like a child. If you want me to call and cancel with Temari, I will. Just tell me these things, there's no need for such a production." He told her. "I'll be just outside when you've made up your mind, but don't be too long, I despise being late for things, you know that, dear."

_I did this…he's like this because of me._ Hinata realized as she heard the door close, heard the sound of him sliding down the wall outside, and now, where she couldn't see, she thought she heard the sound of him breaking down into tears. _I broke his heart, and this is the only thing he has left to do to defend himself from me. I did this._

_What's wrong with me?_

----------

"Oh for fuck's sake," Shikamaru rolled his eyes and glared at Kankurou. "You invited _her_?"

"What?" Kankurou threw up his hands as the person in question was currently away getting a drink in the kitchen, at which point Shikamaru finally voiced his concern about the situation. "She's my fuckin' girlfriend now, you don't know."

"You know, Ino, if she really is after Shikamaru…I think that if she's putting up with Kankurou just to get close to him, you're obligated to give her just like, one mercy screw or something, right?" Tenten teased the blonde, who made a noise of disgust.

"No, see, you're forgetting." She pointed to Kankurou. "She's slept with him. If she sleeps with Shikamaru and then _I_ sleep with him, it's like I've slept with Kankurou."

"Hey, baby," Kankurou winked at her lasciviously. "You know, any time you want a taste, you can come straight to the source."

"Please stop propositioning my wife," Shikamaru told the other man in a weary tone. "My _pregnant_ wife."

"Man, on second thought, I don't think I want to get with someone who's so freaking fertile." Kankurou frowned. "Although, you know when's the best time to have sex with a girl?"

"If we tell you we don't want to hear this, will it stop you?" Neji asked, his tone irate. Naruto had made Gaara and him both promise that they wouldn't beat the ever-loving stuffing out of Kiba, and that they would in fact be civil with him because he was very sorry and after all, wasn't it bad enough having Temari want you to die a slow death? He intensely regretted that promise, and was beginning to think that the fact that Sasuke got away with so much was clearly due to years of building up a resistance to Naruto's persistent pleas and his adorable big blue eyes, tools he seemed to only fully employ against people he slept with, which he had not realized was part of the deal when he okayed the current situation, whereby any of the four of them were allowed to do anything else with the rest of said four, as long as no one was upset, and as long as anyone who became upset said so immediately. He would have been fine with this two years ago. It took Sasuke a while…but he should have figured as soon as he realized that Gaara was a much more entertaining ally than an enemy…it would all fall apart after that.

Neji mostly enjoyed the looks of utter confusion they all kept receiving as their housemates tried to figure out what the actual dating situation was, and thus he was taking full advantage of the situation…although he was a bit worried they seemed to be really pissing Temari off for some reason. Maybe she was annoyed they were getting more sex and she was now getting none, although that was just silly. She could just forgive Kiba, he'd probably lick her feet and do whatever she said if she asked, he was clearly miserable without her, and wasn't that what she wanted, anyway? He didn't see what she was holding out for, and he really didn't appreciate her glares, especially whenever they were aimed at Gaara. He would likely have given up on the scheme just to retain Temari's favor, which had been hard-won in the first place, but he knew that Gaara would be disappointed, and it seemed that they had finally found a way for Sasuke and Gaara to get along, so it would be a shame to call the whole thing off and move back to their vanilla monogamy…well, as vanilla as that had _ever_ been.

Plus…he wasn't threatened by Sasuke, or even by Naruto. He understood that there was a difference between the love Gaara felt for him and what he felt for Naruto, and he knew that Gaara would always come back to him. Also, what happened between Gaara and Sasuke…while that was certainly wonderful to look at, it was nowhere within the vicinity of love, so there was no chance of him experiencing any jealousy there. He assumed Sasuke had reached a similar point of interpersonal understanding to be so calm about everything. For instance, at that moment, though they were sitting nearly just as they had when the power went out, the main difference was that Gaara was actually licking the side of Naruto's neck quite obviously, and Sasuke looked like the only thing this was making him feel was mildly aroused. The blonde was resting his head against Sasuke's knee, breathing a little more heavily than usual, but otherwise acting perfectly normal. The best part of this was the way that Kankurou was clearly trying to ignore this and failing miserably. That, or the fact that Gaara had decided that with the advantage of the camouflage provided by the afghan Sasuke had pulled over himself, which thus had overflowed onto Neji's lap, he should attempt to give Neji a very discreet hand job, which might not have been possible had the lights not been turned out so that, as Kankurou had said 'it could be fucking spooky and shit.' But he was managing rather well, and Neji felt that if Gaara was thinking this was a nice way of reassuring him while he licked and bit at Naruto's neck, that was certainly fine with him. Also, it made him much less likely to beat Kiba senseless, because even though he knew how it would end, he didn't want to cut it off halfway through. Gaara always knew just how to relax him. Forgetting to be annoyed with Kankurou, he decided to do something similar for Sasuke, who, after all, had been the genius behind this afghan in the first place, and it was only fair he have someone's hand down his pants. He reached over, and couldn't stop the smirk when Sasuke flushed darkly and started slightly at the feel of his fingers.

In his own, very different way…Sasuke could also be quite adorable.

"Dude, what the fuck ever," Kankurou, who either didn't realize exactly what was going on, or was trying very hard to convince himself he didn't realize what it was snorted disdainfully. "Do you think I want to see you guys all climbing on each other all the time? Fucking, you got a room for that. You got _two_ rooms."

"Stop, that's my entertainment," Ino chided him. "Go ahead, then, if it's that important to you. When's the best time to have sex with a girl?"

"I think it is in the morning." Sai spoke up suddenly. "Then you have plenty of time and are not sleepy. Also, afterwards you can eat a large breakfast and replenish your strength."

"Sai!" Sakura went pinker than her hair and buried her face in her hands just as Shiori returned, carrying drinks for both Kankurou and herself. He pulled her down into her lap, and Shikamaru made a face as though he was praying to the heavens for patience.

"Not really what I meant, but good answer, man," Kankurou nodded approval. "No, the best time to have sex with a girl is when she's like, anywhere between three and five months pregnant. Like, just enough that her boobs are starting to swell up, but she isn't all fat yet, so she's still like totally hot. Also, it's awesome, because it doesn't matter if you use a condom or anything…bitch is already pregnant!"

"Wow, Shiori, are you really sure you want to date that?" Tenten asked the girl who seemed unsure whether to laugh along with Kankurou or to be horrified at what he was saying. "I mean, you'd be better off sleeping with a random hobo you picked up off the streets."

"A hobo would appreciate you." Shikamaru nodded slowly and looked around, suddenly frowning. "Hey, where's Chouji? I mean…the pizza's here, I thought for sure he'd come up when he smelled that."

"Oh, no, he's out with some chick, I think." Kankurou shrugged casually and was briefly amazed as everyone in the room immediately turned their focus on him. "What? You think he can't get laid? He's not bad looking or anything, and he's cool as hell. I mean, he like, never tells me to keep it down, and this one can tell you that when Air Kankurou comes in for a landing, the engines are _roaring_, right baby? Like, traffic control and shit!"

"Okay, that metaphor made me throw up in my mouth a little, I think." Sakura stood up, scowling at Kankurou. "I'm going to get a soda. Anyone want anything?"

"Just watch out, Temari's in there." Ino warned her. "She can drain your fun out from like, fifty yards."

"Thanks, I'll keep an eye out," Sakura gave her an odd look and left the room. Kankurou rolled his eyes and bounced Shiori on his knee rather appreciatively.

"Man, she's the one all insisting on a party, and then she's locked in the kitchen all night…what's she doing in there?" Kankurou rolled his eyes.

"My guess? Either keeping Kiba out of the booze or drinking herself into oblivion." Ino speculated. "Probably planning some drunken sex as revenge." She considered who Temari's likely candidates would be and shook a stern finger at her own husband. "I swear to god, if you get pulled into this, I'll chop your dick off."

"Can we not discuss who my sister might be sleeping with tonight?" Gaara, momentarily put off of his throat-licking scowled at Ino, who shrugged and rolled her eyes.

"Man, you got him to come up for air." Kankurou stated in amazement, "You're some kind of woman, Ino."

"What did I say, Kankurou?" Shikamaru asked him in a stiff tone, and he snorted, turning to look at the television as Sakura returned, looking a bit pale.

"Are you alright, Sakura?" Sai asked her, feeling he had to be extra-vigilant considering they'd had a fight that day. He hated having fights, and while the make-up sex had been great, he'd rather not have a repeat.

"She's actually _here_." Sakura managed, but as Sai was going to ask who she meant, he heard some strangled noises and looked at the entryway to the living room to see Suteru ushering a very subdued Hinata in.

"Ah, everyone is here already," Suteru gave an odd fake looking smile and steered Hinata to a chair, gently pushing her into it and sitting on the ground at her feet as if everything was completely normal and they had no reason to be surprised to see either of them. "Were we late, after all? I could have sworn I was told nine."

"No, I was just early, and they all live here so—" Shiori was cut off by Kankurou urgently whispering something in her ear. She blinked and gave Kiba an odd look before licking her lips and coughing, apparently felt it was incumbent on her to relieve the tense situation. "So…they have all of Twilight Zone, so we were watching it…together."

"I recall, doesn't it belong to Naruto?" Suteru turned politely to the blonde, was momentarily confused by the sight of Gaara who was busy tending to his neck while still glaring daggers at Hinata, who he wasn't actually planning on beating the crap out of, but who he was still quite annoyed with, as it had been the combined efforts of Kiba and her that had made his sister become such a mess.

"What the hell?" Kiba, who had been quietly eating pizza in a dark corner, looking like he wanted to melt into the carpet, spoke up for the first time all evening. "Why are you here?"

"Temari invited us," Suteru's voice remained almost emotionless, but it took on a brittle aspect as soon as he addressed Kiba directly. "Why should we not come?"

"This is fucking ridiculous!" Kiba leapt up and stormed out of the room, and Hinata bit her lip, barely stopping herself going after him. That was when she realized Suteru had a grip on her wrist, tight and insistent, and for the first time in a week, she could see emotion in his eyes. It was too much. She leapt to her feet, wrenching her arm away from him and going after her friend. After a moment, Suteru followed.

"Man, you know what works for that," Kankurou whistled after a moment, "A foursome."

"You are seriously unbalanced." Tenten told him in a deadpan voice. "Why can't we just watch the Twilight Zone like normal people?"

"Well, it's fucking, like the shittiest episode, what do you want from me?" Kankurou gestured at the screen. They'd just let the DVD play through all the episodes on the disc when it was put in, so the current episode was something that Tenten wasn't sure she even recognized the episode, but she frowned and narrowed her eyes.

"Is that…Carol Burnett?" she asked. "I didn't know she was ever in the Twilight Zone."

"Oh god, not this one." Naruto, who had been reclining against Sasuke's knee with his eyes half-closed, enjoying Gaara's attentions, came to his senses as he realized what was going on, thus interrupting Gaara as well. "Just skip the episode or put in another disc, this really is like the worst one ever. It's not even really Twilight Zone, it was like some crap pilot CBS paid through the nose to get Rod Serling to air so people would watch it because it's just shit."

"Yeah, there should be a law against _funny_ episodes." Kankurou grumbled. "It's fuckin' Twilight Zone, it's not funny! It's like, watch out! Shit just happened! Whoa! Crazy times! Where is everybody?!"

"And it was man all along!" Ino tagged on, and they all started laughing. "I know what you mean, what about that one with the angel that's like, trying to fix the guy's life…Bevis or something."

"Yeah, it's like the same as this one," Kankurou agreed. "I know what you're talking about. Those are fucking horrible."

"No, you know what the worst one is," Gaara was now not getting any attention, and therefore decided he might as well join this conversation. "That one with the fake plane."

"The Arrival!" Naruto jabbed his finger in the air. "Yeah, that one…I always just thought they were like 'and then the plane has no one on it…or but does it? And they go on, and then…um…I don't fucking know, just make the plane like a hologram or some shit.' And oh man, I love The Dummy, but there's this _other_ one with like a wise-cracking dummy…ugh, it makes me want to kill myself."

"Yeah, like stop ruining everything I love." Tenten laughed. "I think I've seen that one, the dummy's like a gangster…thing."

"Yeah, that one sucks." Naruto grumbled.

"You know which episode I hate," Ino interjected. "I hate Eye of the Beholder!"

"What! That's like a classic, how can you hate that one?" Sakura seemed shocked. "I mean, _everyone_ knows that one."

"I think she hates it because it's my favorite and she just likes to screw with me." Shikamaru told Sakura in a long-suffering tone.

"No! How can you like that one!?" Ino turned to him with a look of absolute betrayal on her face. "That episode's message is like 'let's punish everyone pretty and send them to pretty camps where they don't get in our ugly, pig-face ways!' Like, I don't know, were they thinking I'd see it and be like, oh, I see, I shouldn't be mean to ugly people because _what if_ they decided to be mean back? But it's like, _I _don't make them live in ugly camps or anything like that, and if they do, it's their own choice. Although, if _I _looked like one of those pig-faces, I'd probably just _kill_ myself."

"Ino, I don't really think that's the point of the episode." Sai offered after a moment of silent confusion followed her rant.

"That lady _was_ hot though," Kankurou nodded slowly. "I'd do her."

"Kankurou, what's your favorite episode?" Sakura asked, trying not to let the conversation devolve into another bout of 'who Kankurou would do,' which it did with surprising and depressing regularity.

"Oh man," Kankurou frowned, clearly giving this some thought. "I have to think about it…hmm…maybe like…well, shit, what's yours?"

"Oh, I always love the ones with the happy endings!" Sakura exclaimed, beaming with pleasure. "You know which one is really good? I love the Adam and Eve one, you know, Probe 7 Over and Out, that one!"

"Wow, yeah, the one where he's stranded in space with the sexy space lady?" Kankurou nodded. "Good one. What about you, Naruto, you've probably watched like, every single episode ever, right? So what, the camera one?"

"Oh, ha, very funny," Naruto rolled his eyes. "No, I think my favorite one is Night of the Meek. You know, the one with the Santa, and then he gets to be like, a _real_ Santa, and he gives all those kids toys, I love that part."

"Yeah, he always starts crying," Sasuke, annoyed that he was no longer being groped under the blanket, decided that he might as well tease Naruto a little to make up for it.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" Sakura clasped her hands together. "I love that one, too! What about you, Sai, what's your favorite?"

"Hmm, they are very interesting, I enjoy the majority," he paused thoughtfully. "If I had to pick, I would say my favorite is Nothing in the Dark."

"Isn't that the one where death sneaks in her house and she has to die without ever doing anything?" Tenten asked. "That a little depressing."

"What's your favorite?" Shino asked her and she thought a moment before answering.

"Deaths-head Revisited." She nodded sharply. "Awesome title, plus, that is what you _get_, mean SS guy."

"Yes, well that one's rather uplifting," Shino teased her. "Anything in a concentration camp makes me think of good times."

"Well, but he gets what's coming to him." Tenten shook her fist. "Like that one with the doll. Eat _that!_"

"You're a little scary sometimes, Tenten." Naruto told her, and she laughed and turned to her husband.

"How about you?" she asked him, and he answered nearly as quickly as she had.

"My favorite is probably Will the Real Martian Please Stand up." He told them thoughtfully.

"Oh, that's a great one! Good choice, Shino." Naruto gave him a thumb's up. "Who else? Ino, what about you, what's your favorite?"

"Well, I like the happy endings, too." She nodded thoughtfully. "I think…Number Twelve Looks Just Like You. I love that one."

"Really?" Shikamaru blinked at her and then narrowed his eyes. "Um, Ino, that one _doesn't_ have a happy ending…"

"Yeah it does! She's all plain, and she doesn't want to get hot, but then in the end she does, and she's so pretty! Plus, it's a planet all of pretty people! It's like the _opposite_ of that gross pig-people one."

"You know, Eye of the Beholder is my favorite, also," Shiori mentioned, and Ino gave her a withering look.

"Oh yeah? Well if you can't remember whose lap you're in, I'm going to go all Jesse-bell and turn into a freaking leopard and _eat_ your ass." Ino told her sharply.

"Now _that_ was a bad episode." Sakura laughed. "Between that cheesy song and her turning into a freaking spider on the dress…although I did like the oh-so-threatening mouse. Really? You can turn into _any_ animal, and that's your choice?"

"Should've just stayed a leopard and eaten that bimbo stealing her boyfriend away." Ino was still glaring rather fixedly at Shiori who was starting to look a little uncomfortable.

"What's your favorite, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, turning to look up at his boyfriend, who was starting to be seriously annoyed that they had to be in the living room socializing and he was no longer even getting an awesome stealth hand job. These expectations were clearly ridiculous.

"The Midnight Sun," he answered, and Naruto groaned and rolled his eyes. "What?"

"That is like, the single most depressing episode ever!" Naruto complained. "You just hate happiness, don't you?"

"Basically, yes," he turned to Neji, "what about you, then?"

"Do you mean do I hate happiness, or what is my favorite episode?" Neji asked, and at the annoyed look on Sasuke's face, he pursed his lips a moment. "The Bard."

"Predictable." Sasuke rolled his eyes and looked down at the redhead next to his own lover. "Gaara?"

"Oh, I know what Gaara's favorite is," Naruto smiled smugly, but he let the other man answer for himself.

"It's a Good Life." Gaara eyed Naruto warily, not sure they'd ever had this conversation before and trying to think what the blonde was thinking.

"Oh, of course!" Kankurou threw up the hand that wasn't keeping Shiori steady in his lap. "You're totally fucking Anthony Fremont, and you just wanna send like everyone to the damn corn field. Well, except your fucking gay harem or whatever the hell is going on over there."

"Man, you better not fuck with him, he'll send you to the corn field for sure." Shikamaru teased, and everyone laughed, but Naruto interjected, clearly upset.

"No way! No, remember, that episode with the telepathic girl?" he asked Gaara, who acquired a very studied blank expression. "Remember, it's called Mute, and like, everyone's like 'no, why can't she talk!' and then she figures out how to because she's like 'well, it's totally different, but at least this lady loves me,' and so she can have a family?" Naruto turned to the rest of them, clearly offended. "Gaara cries like _every_ time. That's his _real_ favorite." Gaara gave him a look that probably anyone else in that room would have been afraid of.

"Shit! One more for the corn fields." Kankurou pointed out. "Man, wait till I tell Temari, she'll start totally bawling and be like 'oh, Gaara, you know I love you so much!' like that." Kankurou chuckled.

"Hey, you still haven't picked your favorite." Ino prompted, and he paused, looking very thoughtfully at Shiori's breasts.

"Oh, I know which one." He finally nodded and snapped his fingers. "The Self Improvement of Salvador Ross. _That's_ my fucking favorite."

"Wait…is that the one where the guy keeps trading things?" Shiori asked, looking a little vague. "And getting…better things?"

"At first it seems that way," Shikamaru cut in, "but he's doing it all so that he can marry this girl, and then she doesn't want to marry him because he doesn't have compassion, so he buys it off her father, and then her father kills him. I have to say, I'm a little surprised. That's really a pretty deep episode, Kankurou, I would have expected you to choose—"

"Oh, that part, well, I wouldn't have traded compassion off the dad." Kankurou rolled his eyes. "See, you just _fake_ that, and then it's like, the girl is all in love with you and you don't have to get shot. No, I just think that lady is fucking hot as hell. And you can _tell_ she's easy. I mean, what sort of girl hangs around that kind of guy in the first place. A _dirty_ girl, that's what kind. That part where she's making out with him, I just like to stand in front of the screen and be like…ngh, take it, take it all, bitch."

"Wow, you are truly one of a kind, Kankurou." Sakura was looking at him in utter disbelief. "You really want to date him, Shiori? Is this like…some sort of social experiment or something?"

"No, she just can't resist coming back for a second taste." Kankurou assured Sakura. "Right, baby?"

"Ugh, now I think I really am going to throw up." Sakura frowned.

"I refuse on principle to believe that Kankurou's good in bed." She frowned slightly and then leaned toward Shiori as thought it was possible to speak to her without being overheard. "I mean, he's not, is he?"

----------

Hinata was walking home.

This would probably be more effective if Suteru wasn't driving alongside her at a crawl, waiting for her to get sick of the cold and climb into the car.

Of course, there was a long story behind this. But the short version was that she'd chased after Kiba to walk into a screaming row between Temari and him, had lost her nerve when Temari called her a rather choice name, and run out of the house in tears with Suteru hot on her tail. However, she was still very much annoyed with him, and so she was walking home.

To the home they lived in together.

To which he had the key, since she hadn't even brought her purse.

_Wow, you are really doing a poor job at this angry girl thing, Hinata._

But she had reached a breaking point. She had decided that tonight…tonight they would discuss Kiba, or she would just leave him and refuse to come back. Surely her father wouldn't help her, but Hanabi was at college now…maybe she could get to her and stay there a while, until she got everything figured out. Whatever it was, she couldn't just live this repressed lifestyle, feeling guilty every time he looked at her or said anything, sleeping in separate rooms and never, never having him touch her or kiss her except for in the coldest, most perfunctory manner, which was almost worse than if he wouldn't touch her at all.

"Hinata, please," his voice was nothing if not patient, and…well, after all, she'd need her energy. She turned, and he stopped, reaching out and opening the door. She climbed in, shivering as she buckled the seatbelt. "You're frozen…you could have caught a cold doing that." He sounded reproachful, but…maybe she was imagining the longing in his tone, maybe she just wanted to hear it there so badly, she was adding it in on her own. "I don't know what's gotten into you tonight."

"Don't you?" she asked, biting her lip as she realized that really, it was better to wait until they were home at least, but he didn't respond except to glance at her in surprise, and then he drove them back silently, It wasn't far, after all. She got out of the car and slammed the door sullenly before marching after him into the house. He turned to her to take her coat, and she pulled away, closing the door and standing as solidly as she could, arms crossed and jaw set, though she could feel her lower lip trembling.

"What is it, now?" he asked, in the tone of a weary parent trying to please an unruly child.

"The same thing it's been for the last week! The thing you refuse to talk about!" she snapped at him, clenching her hands to keep them from shaking, and resisting the urge to open her arms, to fidget and apologize. "I did do it, in case you were wondering. I had…I slept with Kiba! We were both drunk, not that it changes anything, but there you are. And I'm sorry, okay! I really, truly am! I shouldn't have even had anything to drink, but we got to talking about the…p—pregnancy…and I told him there'd been…others, and it was really hard to talk about it, and I thought if I had a drink I could get it off my chest without hyperventilating. Heaven knows it's hard enough for me to talk to my own husband, who refuses to even ask me…even ask me if I did it! You just look at me…like that, and I know…know it's my fault…but I _am_ sorry!" she clutched at her face as her tears turned into full-blown sobs. "I'd apologize sooner if you'd even…even let me. But you're treating me…treating me like an ornament, like an accessory, like something that doesn't even…doesn't even matter. I hate that!"

"Hinata!" Suteru threw up his hands, clearly overwhelmed at her outburst. "What were you telling him about that for? It's not his business, it's _our_ business! What, did you think he could get you pregnant again and it would stick this time?"

"It was an _accident_!" she shrieked at him. "I never meant for that to happen! Do you really think I would do that? Like you're the problem? You've _never_ been the problem, _I'm_ the problem, and Suteru…I don't know if I'll _ever_ be able to give you any children, so really, you should just…just take this as an easy way out and find someone who can give you what you deserve and forget about me!"

"Lot's of women have trouble holding onto a pregnancy," Suteru grabbed her shoulders, squeezing them firmly as if to hold her there. "With school, there's so much stress, you'll see, once you're out, you'll have no trouble. We'll have as many as you want, no problem."

"No…no, Suteru." She let out another shaky sob and lowered her hands, wiping her eyes and looking up at him. "The doctor…he told me that if I keep this up, it could be really dangerous…and he said…said he doesn't think I'm capable of carrying to term." She broke down in heavy sobs then, and Suteru blinked down at her in amazement.

"What…but when…" he asked, his tone full of disbelief.

"After the last one…" she sniffed and shuddered against him, and he could feel her tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt already. "He said…said I need to stop before I kill myself. But I just…I thought…thought if I could just give you _one_…just one, and then I'd stop, and it would be okay."

"Well…well, we'll get a second opinion," he told her finally. "But…you can't just keep things like that to yourself. You can't…can't do that. Don't you think I should have a say in whether you do something so dangerous?"

"But…but what if I really can't?" she asked, tears leaking down her face, and he gave her the first real smile she'd seen in over a week, though it was laced with sadness.

"I'll stay with you no matter what." He assured her. "I was staying with you even after…that, so why should it matter if you can have children or not? I just want you, no matter what…but please…" he shuddered and his face cracked into one of grief. "You don't…do you still love him?"

"Oh, Suteru," she smiled tremulously. "No, I don't love him that way. He's my friend, that's all. For a long time, I've been in love with you, and only you. You know that."

"Honestly," he lowered his head, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead to hers, his breath ghosting over her lips. "Because it was him…it was so much worse. You don't know how it felt…thinking that maybe…maybe this whole time, the two of you…"

"No…no, it was a mistake, and I'm sorry, and I learned never ever to drink with Kiba," she promised. "I won't…won't ever do anything to hurt you like that again. I can't…I need you too much."

"I'm sorry I shut down like that," he breathed heavily, and her lips trembled, needing to feel his kiss, to know this was really going to be okay someday. "I didn't know what to say or do…it was all I could think of while I was trying…trying to figure out what do…I couldn't stop loving you, so I…I'm sorry."

"Don't you be sorry, too," she breathed. "Please…just kiss me, and tell me it will all be all right."

"It will, I promise," and he did.

----------

To be continued…


	18. Chapter 18

If I Fall

Chapter 18

----------

"Man, so is Kiba just going to hole up in the den until the apocalypse?" Naruto asked Sakura as they enjoyed bowls of cereal together. "Temari told him one week like three weeks ago."

"I know, right?" the pink-haired girl shook her head. "I think really, he just wants to prove to himself that she still loves him, and he's like, if I can continue living in the den for the rest of the school year without having her light me on fire, that is a clear sign of her favor."

"I wonder if _he_ knows who Chouji is dating. I can't figure it out…I mean, if Kankurou knew, he'd tell everyone, and normally, I'd say the same of Kiba, but he's so depressed, he's a little off his game." Naruto frowned deeply. "All I can figure is that whoever it is, he's just not bringing her home. If he was, we'd all know. You can't have secrets living next door to Kankurou."

"Which makes me think…why's he keeping it such a secret?" Sakura frowned into her cereal bowl. "Except maybe he's not actually dating anyone, maybe Kankurou was just handing out his dumb, wild speculations, and it wasn't based on anything else."

"Yeah, but it's so weird he'd miss Halloween." Naruto frowned. "And I asked him what he did that night, and he got all quiet, like it was a big secret. Wouldn't say anything."

"S'ere coffee?" Sasuke, looking something like a very pretty zombie, shuffled into the kitchen and Naruto got up at once, dropped a kiss on his cheek and went to fill a mug while Sasuke navigated the chair, which could be quite a task at seven-thirty in the morning. "Thanks." He managed a sleepy smile and bent over his mug while Naruto sat back down.

"You know what Ino thinks?" Sakura went on again, now that their interruption had been dealt with and was carefully drinking his coffee. "She thinks that he must be either dating a guy or a teacher. Because if it was a guy, since he threw that big fit before, he doesn't want anyone to know. And if it's a teacher, well then obviously."

"What?" Sasuke blinked at her blearily.

"We're trying to figure out who Chouji's dating." She told him, grinning sheepishly.

"Uh…you shouldn't." Sasuke frowned at her and turned back to his coffee, sipping it slowly.

"Why not?" Sakura giggled. "I mean, it's probably not anyone we know, if it was we'd have figured it out by now. We'd like, spot them at a coffee shop together or something like that. As it is, I could see him with anyone and think 'maybe _that's_ who,' but I really have no clue unless they start making out in front of me or something. I just think it's so weird how he won't tell us."

"Maybe it's none of your business." Sasuke grumbled, and she gave him a speculative look before turning to Naruto, who shrugged. "You guys should just leave well enough alone."

"Are you afraid of me becoming a huge gossip?" Naruto teased. "Or maybe you know who it is and—" Sasuke choked on his coffee and Naruto's face paled. "You do! You know who Chouji's dating!"

"But…how?" Sakura blinked in shock. "I mean, no offense, or anything. You're really smart, but you don't pay much attention to other people. _Is_ it someone we know? How did you find out?"

"I have a hard time picturing Chouji confiding in Sasuke," Naruto frowned. "Maybe he found out by accident, like he saw them on a date or they work in the physics department, like another student or teacher, someone he'd see a lot." At the odd grey coloring Sasuke's face suddenly took on, Naruto clapped his hands in triumph. "That's it, isn't it! You know them! Is it actually another guy?"

"No." Sasuke answered, then caught himself and glared viciously at his coffee as though it had caused this slip. "I mean, I don't know. You should just…leave it."

"I would guess that Chouji's paying him to keep it secret," Sakura shook her head at him, baffled. "But there's nothing Chouji could give Sasuke that he probably doesn't have like eight times more of already. Except…like, patience."

"Sakura," Naruto pursed his lips in an attempt to stop himself from laughing. Usually, before his first cup of coffee, Sasuke didn't have much of a sense of humor. "But really…I mean, do you actually know?" he turned his complete attention to Sasuke, his blue eyes wide and an injured expression on his face that Sakura suspected was more aimed at getting an answer than actually sincere dismay on Naruto's part.

"It's not…" Sasuke was clearly torn between not wanting to share whatever information he had and not wanting to see Naruto make a sad face at him. He glared at his coffee as though it was to blame for this state of affairs and Naruto heaved a sigh as he realized it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Morning!" Ino came into the kitchen in her bathrobe, towel wrapped around her head, skin pink so that it was clear she had just taken a shower. "Time for pretending I don't want coffee. Yay, pregnancy. What's up with you guys?"

"Sasuke knows who Chouji is dating and he won't tell us." Sakura explained, and Ino let out a shriek and nearly spilled the juice she had been pouring. She replaced the container in the fridge and stormed into the dining room, bare feet slapping the floor insistently as she clutched her glass of orange juice and gave Sasuke a look of such abject horror and rage he suddenly felt quite sorry for Shikamaru.

"How do _you_, king of isolation, master hermit of the house who doesn't give a shit what's going on anywhere but between Naruto's legs know anything about any of us that _I_ don't already know!?" she was clearly very offended at this, and set her juice down, possibly so she wouldn't accidentally spill it in the course of her rant. Sasuke was just glad she no longer seemed to be on the verge of pouring it in his hair. "This is ridiculous! This is like if Temari started hiding liquor and Kankurou started nagging everyone about the rules, and…and Shikamaru got up all on his own at six in the morning and made everyone breakfast! If you know," she pointed at him menacingly, glaring as viciously as someone wearing a robe and a towel can manage, "you are _obligated_ to tell me, because this…this is going to upset the balance of everything in this house! I mean, you could cause like, a space-time rift or something if you start knowing all the gossip when I don't!"

"Ino…I don't really think that's even possible." Sakura frowned, and was quite obviously ignored. Ino didn't care about what anyone who didn't know who Chouji was dating in secret had to say at the moment, and therefore her attention was focused clearly on Sasuke, who was doing his best not to be afraid of her.

"He might not know," Naruto defended his lover, but Ino would have none of that. She bent over him, glaring insistently and snapped her fingers in Sasuke's face, as if that were some sort of charm for releasing information she wanted.

"It's none of your business." Sasuke finally grumbled, and glared back at her, which seemed to effectively defend him from her tactics. Or at least, he felt better. Maybe he was just so used to glaring at people he didn't feel comfortable unless he was doing that. "It's better that I know, obviously, since you can't keep shit secret. Fucking, everyone in this house is way too into everyone's business. It's none of your damn business what anyone gets up to, and it's not mine, either, so I'm not going to just help perpetuate your damn rumor mill bullshit!" Sasuke snarled at her. "Fucking…fucking!" Sasuke stood up, recalled he had coffee left, and went back for it before huffing out of the room. Naruto raced after him at once, and Ino, not at all concerned by this outburst, rolled her eyes and snorted, sitting down.

"Well, so we know for sure he _does_ know." Ino looked at her glass thoughtfully as Kankurou stumbled in with his shirt on back to front and inside out, his hair an utter mess. He ran into the table, stumbled, and Sakura took pity on him, helping him into a chair and going to the kitchen for some more coffee to revive the semiconscious man. "Kankurou, Kankurou, guess _what_?" Ino bounced in her chair as Sakura retrieved the coffee. "Sasuke knows who Chouji's dating! _Sasuke_ does! And he won't tell us!"

"Wh…what?" Kankurou swung his head toward her, his eyes nearly closed as he squinted in her direction. "Whas…whassat?"

"Coffee." Sakura set it in front of him, and despite the fact that he seemed to not be able to see anything around him, he found the cup and got it to his mouth with only minimal slopping of hot liquid on his lap, and just a muttered unintelligible amount of cursing. "You know, Ino, I mean, I think he was just being surly, but Sasuke is a little bit right. I don't think it really is technically our business…maybe we should just leave well enough alone. If Chouji wants us to know, he'll tell us, don't you think? I mean…if we make Chouji angry…I really would hate to do that, Chouji's always so sweet and helpful, I felt so guilty that time he got upset, it made me feel like I was the worst person ever. I'd rather just let things take their course naturally. Right?"

"Oh, whatever," Ino rolled her eyes. "Take their course? The den is cursed, everyone knows that. If you live down there, every relationship you're in sucks."

"Um, that doesn't make any sense." Sakura blinked. "Until now, the only one living in the den who had any sort of serious relationship was Kankurou, and he's…well, he's Kankurou."

"Wait…" Kankurou suddenly sat up very straight, and it was clear signals were starting to fire in his brain.

"No offense or anything! I just meant—" Sakura was cut off by frantic gesticulation on Kankurou's part.

"Fucking _Sasuke_ knows who Chouji is dating?" Kankurou was clearly disgusted at this news, which had only just now processed with him fully. "That's it, I'm hiring a detective."

"No! Don't spy on him, just let him tell us when he wants to tell us!" Sakura scowled, but it looked more like a pout, so it wasn't very effective at scaring Kankurou.

"Excellent! We should have done that ages ago." Ino snapped her fingers as though it was common to hire a detective to tail your friends and find out who they were dating. She then turned on Sakura. "And it is _so_ cursed. Think about it, every time someone gets in a freaking horrendous fight and they're on the verge of breakup, one of them always moves to the den and sleeps on the couch! So that's why, because like, all the bad relationship vibes down there, and that's all Kankurou and Chouji are exposed to, so it's not their fault."

"Um, so you're basically trying to tell me that _before_ he lived in the den, Kankurou," Sakura gestured to the man drinking his coffee and still looking offended, although whether because of the way he was being discussed or because of the fact that he was still upset that somehow Sasuke knew an item of gossip he didn't, it was hard to tell. "This man, _right_ here, who was cheering when you wrestled his sister because he got to see your breasts, the same man who completely ruined our first Valentine's Day together, the same man who, when he thought I was pregnant told Sai to either leave me or get an abortion, who actively tried to get him to cheat on me during the time they lived together, _this_ man, you're saying he would be able to have a successful and healthy relationship with a woman if only he didn't live in the den?"

"Hey, you don't know, I never fucking tried having a girlfriend at college before the den." Kankurou seemed to be more awake now, and intrigued by this line of reason Ino had presented. "Maybe I'm a fucking awesome boyfriend, it's just like, seeing Shino getting shit fucked up, and Kiba, I'm just like…oh man, I must need to sleep with every lady."

"I find that line of reasoning to be complete crap." Sakura told him in a flat tone, sipping her coffee. "And anyway, I think the things _you_ do to women are much worse than the things Kiba and Shino did…are doing…you know what I mean."

"I don't know," Ino frowned. "Kiba's is _pretty_ bad. I mean, granted, he was so completely tanked he can't even remember getting in bed, much less that Hinata was there and they got down, but it's like, think of the position he's put Temari in. I mean, the only way to resolve it is if she does something back that's even worse. Like…like, she could revenge screw someone!"

"Shikamaru!" Kankurou suggested. "Didn't she used to have a big thing for him or some shit?"

"Well, that's never going to happen," Ino snorted, calmly taking a drink of orange juice. "I mean, first of all, he's _married_. Which, granted, Kiba hit it with Hinata, who is also married, but think about it logically. Kiba is way cooler and…well, I don't know, at least a little hotter than Suteru. I mean, the only thing Suteru's got going on is the money, so it's like, I understand what Hinata's doing. She's used to being pampered, of course she chooses rich guy. But seriously, I'd lay down good money that sex with Kiba…way better than sex with Suteru. But it's like, for Shikamaru, to go from _me_ to Temari, total downgrade."

"Well, maybe, but then think about what it's like to have sex with Hinata," Kankurou interjected, clearly intrigued by this line of reasoning. "I mean, you know she probably wears like a freaking big ass frilly lace nightgown to bed, and then you're like, 'hey baby, time for making with the love,' and she's like 'oh no, so inappropriate,' and makes you turn out all the lights, and then you have to do it quiet, and she'll only do missionary, because it's like, if you even mention anal, she'd probably faint, and even though she's got great knockers, so like, cowgirl would be totally hot, she'd never do it. I bet she just lays there the whole time blushing and being like, 'oh dear, what impropriety,' and doesn't move at all."

"No way, I heard them going at it, and I mean, it wasn't epic sex. It's not like with Naruto and Sasuke, where you keep hearing what may be things breaking and afterwards, you kinda expect that the room will look like a tornado hit it because they're like, clearly doing it all up on the desk and against the wall and all that stuff because otherwise, seriously _what_ the hell is that pounding noise? But I mean, they sounded like they were having a good time, like, about as much as Sai and Sakura, and I bet Sai's good in bed. Right, Sakura?"

"Um…" Sakura was blushing and fidgeting with her cup, not really sure what she could say to something like that.

"But I mean, what I'm trying to _say_," Kankurou explained, ignoring Sakura's discomfort with the new topic. "Is that I'm betting that Temari's better than Hinata, right? I mean, everyone in my family is fucking awesome at fucking. It's like, genetic, I'm pretty sure."

"I don't think so," Ino snorted. "I mean, everyone in the house knows Gaara's dynamite in bed. We hear him and whoever he might be with…I mean, he's so good that Sasuke, who like, _hated_ him, can't resist hitting that. He's epic amounts of sexy, and I mean, I _saw_, so I'm going to say, Gaara's definitely great in bed, but I refuse to believe _you_ are any good, so I'm saying that if Temari falls on any side, it's obvious, Gaara's got a different mom, so you _see_, clearly you two are the failures."

"Hey, you don't know until you've taken a taste, baby," Kankurou waggled his eyebrows. "Shiori sure seems to like it, she's always wanting a double scoop with fucking _sprinkles_."

"Ugh, I hate your analogies," Sakura made a face as though she'd just sucked on a lemon. "Seriously, can't we talk about something else, this is the most inappropriate conversation ever, and I was there for Kankurou explaining how he likes girls to…well, you remember the strap-on conversation, I'm sure."

"Who could ever forget?" Ino rolled her eyes. "Just proof he's a repressed homosexual."

"Dude, I fucking _said_, if it's a girl's dick, it doesn't fucking _count_!" Kankurou exploded. "Damn, I mean, I'd expect this from Prudey McChastitypants over here, but Ino, you're supposed to be like crazy in bed. Don't tell me you've never done that with Shikamaru."

"Sorry to disappoint," Ino snorted, as Sakura buried her head in her hands, realizing that this was clearly only going to get worse before it got better. "But no, just because that's probably what I would have had to do for Sasuke if he had hooked up with me instead…no, Shikamaru's not interested in that, and neither am I. It's just something you have to be prepared to do if you want to get with a really hot gay guy. Or you can just let him do you from behind…it's just not worth it, cause it's like, I don't want to be with someone who's just going to be weirded out by my amazing breasts. They need _appreciation._"

"Well, _I_ appreciate them," Kankurou assured her, and she laughed derisively.

"Yeah, and you also appreciate someone screwing you from behind, which means that at the very least—"

"Dammit, you should have seen how hot she was!" Kankurou protested. "If you get a chance to hook up with someone that hot, and she wants to do kinky shit, then you fucking _do_ it."

"Yeah, right, whatever," Ino waved a hand dismissively. "So I mean, if you think about it, while I'm sure Temari would love to have revenge sex with Shikamaru, the problem is that she couldn't get him to do it, and also, if she _did_, then she'd have to deal with me, and I think she's too smart to not think that would be a horrible idea. I mean, see, the thing about Kiba is that he's probably way more afraid of Temari than Suteru. Because seriously, you've heard them fight, but Suteru I don't think even _knows_ how to yell, and I certainly haven't heard of him trying to punch Kiba or anything, but Temari will kill a bitch, right? So the fact that she hasn't killed either Kiba or Hinata…she's _got_ to be planning a revenge screw. Like…oh, like okay, she could get with Suteru, right? And then _she_ gets pregnant and it's like total double whammy, because then she can say 'haha, I'm better at getting pregnant than you,' to Hinata, and then to Kiba she's all, 'oh man, you just keep losing ladies to Captain Mediocre over here.' Seriously that would be what I would do."

"Ino…what's wrong with you?" Sakura sighed heavily and got up, having finished her coffee. "Seriously…both of you are so…I have to go."

"Well geez," Ino frowned after the departing woman. "You're right, she totally is Prudey McChastitypants."

"I know, right?"

----------

"Sasuke," Naruto was a bit hesitant to cross the threshold once he reached his bedroom. He didn't want Sasuke to be angry, and he most certainly didn't want Sasuke to be angry with him. "Sasuke, I'm sorry…we weren't trying to be nosy or anything, we just…I mean, we're interested, we want our friends to be happy, is all." He explained while staring at his feet, edging into the partially open door and then closing it.

"I really don't care," Sasuke sighed, and Naruto glanced up quickly, surprised to see his lover sipping coffee on the bed, not looking angry at all. "I just think it'll cause a bunch of drama, and I'm sick of drama."

"What, is he dating Shikamaru's mom or something?" Naruto frowned, unable to understand how knowing who Chouji was dating would cause any sort of drama.

"No…just leave it," Sasuke sighed and set his coffee aside, beckoning for Naruto to join him, which the blonde did at once, clearly not wanting to press his luck. He clambered onto the bed and snuggled against the other man, sighing and wrapping his arms around Sasuke and letting his head rest on his chest, his eyes closing as he concentrated on the feel of Sasuke beside him, on the sound of his heart, on the easy intimacy of the moment, and the warmth suffusing him as he felt Sasuke kiss his head and lazily brush a hand through his hair, wrapping one arm around him. "I'm not supposed to know, I just…found out, so I don't want to make shit worse for Chouji spreading what I know. Especially because…well, I don't know everything, it's not my place to say."

"You're not mad at me, are you?" Naruto asked, his voice so soft it was barely more than a whisper. "For wondering…for wanting to know."

"No," Sasuke assured him, squeezing Naruto a bit and shifting so that Naruto could tilt his head up and kiss him. He nudged the blonde's chin upward, and Naruto complied, kissing him softly, slowly, seeming almost shy about it. "I know that you only use your meddling for good. It's Ino, she's always…making things worse."

"I don't think she means to." Naruto scooted up more reaching one hand up to feel the reassuring play of Sasuke's silky dark hair against his fingers. He tangled his hand in the locks and sighed contentedly as Sasuke leaned in for another lingering kiss. "I know what you mean, though."

"I just think we should concentrate on our own stuff, on this." Sasuke traced the side of Naruto's face with long, slender fingers, and his lover flushed with pleasure. "You know…what we've been doing, I don't think that could really work in the long term."

"With Neji and Gaara?" Naruto asked, and Sasuke blinked, but Naruto understood that was what he meant. "I know…it's confusing. I mean, I know how I feel. I know that I love you more than anything. I know that I love Gaara, that I care about Neji, that I trust all of you, and I know that what I feel with them…well, it's good, it's fun, but it's not…not like you. And it makes me feel a little…a little guilty, when I'm with one of them, I feel like even though we all said this was fine, and we'd do this, we'd see how this went, I still feel like I shouldn't, and when I see you…"

"I know," Sasuke gave him a lazy smile, reassuring and full of understanding. "It hurts, doesn't it? Just a little, but there it is. And even if I know neither of them are going to try and really…really take you from me, when I see you with them, when I see you happy like that…I'm afraid. It's not like I want to trap you and hide you away from everyone, but I just want…"

"I know," Naruto nodded, seeing what Sasuke was saying. "I want you to myself. I don't want them to have you, to know you the way I do. I want to know you better than anyone, and I know it's selfish…but I can't help it. I want you to need me, to need me so bad you can never leave."

"I do," Sasuke breathed, and Naruto whimpered slightly into the kiss that followed those words, pressing his body against Sasuke's lean form, and feeling like more important than what was happening with their friends, what was going on in the rest of the house was _this_ moment, _this_ feeling, and he realized that as nice as it had been, he really didn't want to share Sasuke any more than Sasuke had ever wanted to share him. At first it had been a novelty and something of a turn-on. But now…weirdly, he felt like instead of wanting crazier and crazier sex, he just wanted to curl up in bed with Sasuke, to kiss each other slowly and forget the rest of the world, taste every inch of each other and let everything else, every distraction and every confusion that had entered their lives fall away and pass them by as they melted into each other, hurting each other and healing slowly, painfully. He wanted to see the scars, to know every one of them and that way, they would never be able to leave each other, they would always fit together, two halves of something so much greater.

It couldn't be healthy, loving someone this much. It couldn't end well, surely. To let passion burn so intensely, to let himself fall into this fire and not even bother to shield himself, not even bother to leave any escape, it could only end in desolation, it could only end with the destruction of everything he'd come to cling to so desperately, to need so much.

_But maybe…maybe I just can't help thinking that because Sasuke is the first thing I ever really relied on, the only thing I ever really trusted in. And he's hurt me so badly, but I can't resist him, I don't even want to try. I just want him to burn me up, I want to fall apart and let him put me together again, and if he loses some pieces…it doesn't matter, because I can take some from him, and that way…that way we'll always be tied together like this, so tightly._

Maybe that was why he had been interested in pursuing things with Gaara, and even Neji. What he felt with them…it was something he felt like he could control. He would be sad to lose either of them as friends, but it wasn't like with Sasuke, and it never would be. He couldn't really conceive of himself being happy if he lost this man, this soul who he understood and who understood him so well it was as if they had known each other from birth. He already understood that after school, he would see Gaara and Neji far less, and he accepted that. He didn't want them to drift apart, he didn't want them to become estranged, but if they ever did…at least he would have Sasuke. That was what mattered, more than anything else.

It was terrifying, at times, to realize how desperately he loved Sasuke, but when he looked into those eyes, burning with emotion and intensity that only Naruto ever really got to see…

He knew that Sasuke felt the same, and it felt like if they would burn, they would burn together.

----------

To be continued…


	19. Chapter 19

If I Fall

Chapter 19

----------

"What the _hell_ are you doing in here?" Temari's voice caused Kiba to stiffen as he stood over the sink scrubbing out a large pot. The first week after he had apparently slept with Hinata, something he still couldn't remember at all, she had avoided him and not said one word to him after the initial outburst he had woken up to the morning after. However, she had apparently gotten over the denial stage and was now firmly stuck in anger. Initially, he had felt so guilty he hadn't put up much of a fight when it came to the screaming abuse and constant derision, but he had never been the most patient of men, and in any case, he felt she had walked the line between retribution and ridiculousness, and that he was allowed to defend himself at this point.

"The dishes." He answered, unable to keep the sullen note out of his voice. At this point…it was almost a relief to be fighting with her. Weirdly, it made him feel less guilty, and at the same time, even if it was extremely frustrating at times, at least she was talking to him. Well, yelling at him, but still. That was something. Maybe things between them weren't as irreparable as he had originally thought.

_I mean, Suteru didn't even really get pissed at Hinata, and she at least remembers, which means she was less drunk…or something. But it isn't like he was ever really that demanding of a guy when it comes to her. Temari…Temari doesn't know how to compromise. She doesn't see why she should, ever._

"Well hurry up already! It's five, I need to start dinner some time this century." She snapped at him.

"If you don't want to be in the kitchen with me, change your damn chart." He retorted easily. "You're the one who decided you wanted dinner on my dish day."

"What, like that's a set up for me to spend time with you?" Temari snorted. "Yeah, right. If you could actually do your chores in a timely manner we wouldn't run into each other at all."

"There's plenty of room in here for both of us." Kiba huffed, slamming the pot into the other sink.

"Hey! Don't slam the dishes!" she shook her finger at him like he was a child, and he gritted his teeth in irritation. "Can't you be careful? Try acting like an adult once in a while!"

"At least I can say what I'm _actually_ thinking instead of just being a raging bitch all the time because of a fucking mistake someone made fucking _weeks_ ago!" Kiba turned on her then, scowling, his clenched fists still covered in soapy water. "I know, all right! Everything I do is shit, I screw everything up, I can't even do the goddamn dishes the way you want! Well I'm fucking _sorry_ I'm not perfect, but I never said I could be, so I don't see why you can't just call it a day and move on with your life! If you hate me so much, if you really never want to see me, then _fine_, leave me alone! Stop fucking nagging me and getting on my case about every fucking _thing_ I do being totally wrong! Because it never seemed to bother you before, and now, _now_, because I fucked up," he pounded his chest with both hands then, "yes, I can admit it, I totally fucking screwed up, and it's _my_ fault you can't stand the sight of me…now, because of that, it's like you follow me around all day, just waiting for me to do some stupid shit wrong so you can pitch a fit over it and feel fucking justified!" He threw up his hands. "Well I'm right here! You want to ream me out about what happened, then fucking go for it! Maybe you'll feel better, I don't know! I sure as hell can't feel any damn worse, so it's not going to hurt _me_ at all!"

"Oh _please_," Temari snorted, planting her hands on her hips, a sure sign she was ready to seriously fight and did not intend to lose. "You make it sound, first of all, like this all happened ages and ages ago, when it's only been one month! And then, you have the balls to stand there and claim I'm getting my kicks following _you_ around, just so I can nag you, like I get some sick pleasure from even having to talk to you? I told you to get the hell out of my house when this first happened, and _you're_ the one who refuses to leave! And stop playing it down like what happened is no big deal, because it _is_, and you know it! There's nothing, _nothing_ you could have done to me that would have been worse than that, and you know it! I have an extremely hard time believing that you had no idea what you were doing, when both of us know you were severely pissed at me that day because I told you I didn't want to get married, which I _even_ _said_ wasn't because of you! Well, I'm glad that we never _will_ get married! When I think of the way you betrayed me, the way you took what I said, and twisted it up just to throw it in my face…you _knew_ what you were doing that night, you fucking…you fucking asshole!"

"You really think I would do that to get back at you for you just…just being the way you are, just saying things without giving a shit how anyone feels, and refusing to admit that maybe, maybe you could be making a mistake?" Kiba snorted in disbelief. "No, no fucking way. Yeah, I did get drunk. Yeah, I knew that would probably annoy you, but I figured you'd just ignore me all night anyway, so I figured at least if I was wasted I wouldn't have to fucking sit upstairs trying to figure out what I should think, what it means that you say you're not going to marry me, maybe not ever. And it's like, all I can think is, sure, she's doing it as a stand, saying she doesn't like the way the law works, and she wants it changed or she won't take part, but I keep thinking…well, fuck, I don't think Gaara would like that she's all refusing to get married because of him. He may not be my number one fan, but he's not a jackass, and we get along fine, so what does it _mean_, is it just me? I mean, I'm not an idiot, and I know I'm not the kind of guy who would probably end up with a girl like you, so you don't have to fucking dance around it. When you say something like that, don't you think I understand what it means?"

"Stop turning this around and making it about me!" Temari stomped her foot, jutting out her chin in anger. "You're the one…you're the one who, just because you don't give a shit about politics and are pissed that I _do_, you're the one revenge-screwing your ex-girlfriend who you _knew_…you knew, of everyone there, of everyone we know, you knew that would hurt me more than anything else!"

"Dammit, Temari, everything's so fucking black and white for you!" Kiba retorted. "Must be nice, always to know the answer to everything! All I can do is tell you the truth, and all I ask is that you believe me, but it's kind of obvious you don't give a shit what I say. You know what happened, you know why it happened, and that's all there is, you don't want to hear anything else, right? Well, fine. I tried with you, I fucking tried my best, you know? I thought…thought that things with us, like even though it could be hard at times, even though I always was afraid of screwing up…I thought maybe even if I did, maybe you'd try to understand, try to work things out." He shook his head in resignation. "Well, shit, I know that it's me that got us here, but it wasn't like I did this all by myself. You could have even _tried_ to listen to me, you could have thought, 'well damn, we've been together all this time, maybe I should just believe him, maybe it really was a big mistake, maybe he really is sorry,' but _no_, it's never like that, is it? You made the decision right away, I was fucking guilty, and you didn't want to hear anything else!"

"I _saw_ you two together!" Temari scoffed. "What else am I going to think?! That she's attacking you with her breasts?"

"I'm just saying, I know what I did was fucking stupid, and I know it's the worst thing I could have done, but I never _meant_ to, and I wish that counted for anything! I wish you believed me when I said I don't…I don't want Hinata anymore. I made that choice ages ago, and I chose you, and I know you for some reason think I'm going to change my damn mind, but don't you see? I chose _you_ because you were the one who I knew would build a future with me, you were the one I knew wouldn't just skip out on me, you were the one that I figured would fight for me, if things ever got rough." He let out a harsh laugh. "I guess you're more like her than I thought. First fucking sign of trouble and you split. Fine. I get it. And I'm fucking _sorry_ I'm still here, but there are no damn dorm rooms available, and I'm not loaded, so I can't exactly buy a fucking condo nearby or some shit. So if you want me to stay out of your way, I'll try, but you can't expect that every person who pisses you off just fucking disappears, okay? You're going to have to stop fucking hassling me, because even though I'm the idiot who got fucking wasted and made a horrible fucking mistake, you'd think that after all this time of you taking care of me when I get like that, of all the times you've seen what leads to me getting like that, it wouldn't seem all that unlikely that the only reason that anything like that could ever possibly happen is that I got fucking wasted so I wouldn't have to think about how much what you said fucking _hurt_." Kiba's voice cracked then. "It felt like you just took all my plans, all my hopes for everything we'd do together and just tossed them away like they didn't fucking matter to you…so I mean, this should just make it easier on you, right? Instead of having to break up with me because I want to get married and have kids, and you're apparently too fucking good for me…instead, you can sleep easy, 'cause I cheated on you, so _I'm _the asshole. So…great." He shook his head and left the kitchen, the sink still full of dishes.

Temari stared after him for a minute before going to the sink to finish the dishes so she could start dinner. She sunk her hands into the water and had a sudden powerful memory of a time when Kiba and her had stood here doing the dishes together, of how she insisted on washing, saying he wasn't doing it right and would poison everyone, and he'd just chuckled and said it was part of his master plan to never have to wash the dishes. She'd squirted him with the spray nozzle, and he'd gotten it away from her, but instead of spraying her back in revenge, he'd pressed her into the nearby corner of the counter, holding her wrists fast as he kissed her so thoroughly she nearly swooned. She remembered thinking that it was a good thing the counter was there to hold her up. There had been so many times like that, times when out of nowhere, he would just desperately need to be close to her, times when he'd ask her how he got so lucky, when he'd whisper sweet words in her ear while holding her tight as though he was afraid she would leave.

_He _was_ afraid I would leave. Why wouldn't he be afraid, after what happened with Hinata? Before her father interfered, they really had no problems, they seemed so happy and stable, he would never have guessed. I remember how surprised he was, how totally shell-shocked. How many nights did I sit up with him, just trying to be there for him if he needed the sympathy, if he needed the warmth, if he needed anything at all. I think…weirdly, seeing how hard that was for him, it made me see him in a different way. It made me love him…it's weird, because that was also my biggest fear with him…that he'd go back to her, or that he at least wanted her back._

_But instead of me clinging to him, clutching at him like I was afraid he'd leave me, even after what I'd gone through, I just got so complacent…I really stopped being worried about the Hinata thing, especially after she clearly started to really care for Suteru. But he was always afraid I'd leave…wasn't he?_

_Before, he'd never had any warning…but I know he thought at least with me…at least with me, things would be different. They wouldn't end so easily._

_He thought I'd fight._

"But right now," she breathed, her vision blurred with tears as she bent over the sink, unable to really do anything productive at the moment. "Right now…I'm fighting so hard. Don't you see?"

----------

"Is it someone our age?" Ino asked as Chouji patiently sat preparing snow peas for steaming, snapping the ends off and tossing them in a bowl. "Is it someone I know?"

"You know, no matter how many ways you ask, he's only going to tell you if he _wants_ to, Ino." Shikamaru told his wife while flipping a page in the book he was reading at the dining room table next to her. Ino scowled at him, but he was completely unresponsive to the venomous expression, probably because he couldn't see it, and also because if nothing else, he must have built up some sort of resistance to it over all these years.

"Thanks, Shikamaru," Chouji nodded to his friend and snapped the end off another pea, but Shikamaru just shrugged.

"She already knows too much of everyone's damn business." He explained simply as he continued with his book. "Woman, leave him be. Don't you have some homework to do or a child to look after or something?"

"Aki's with Naruto and Gaara," she told him, her back straightening. "And my homework is all done, thank you very much. _Some_ of us don't slack off until the last minute."

"This isn't homework," he glanced at her with a wry expression on his face. "Some of us would rather entertain ourselves than bug the hell out of our friends and something that's none of our damn business in the first place."

"Hey, you can't talk like that, I'm pregnant." Ino reminded him. He sighed heavily, not because he was at all unhappy with their situation, but because she reminded him of her condition at least three to five times a day every day. It was beginning to wear a bit.

"Better I talk like this now than when the baby's here." Shikamaru turned a page with an unconcerned expression on his face.

"You seem to be handling pregnancy a lot better this time," Chouji offered, happy for the subject to change. "I haven't seen you storm out of the room or flip out for like…well, no more than normal."

"It's all mind over matter." Ino insisted nodding sharply. "Plus, think of how different it is this time. First time, I was single, dating a guy who I was afraid would flip out and abandon me as soon as he knew, which he did. I was a freshman also, so I had to try and think of how I could get through four years with a kid if I wanted to keep it, which of course, I did."

"Yeah, and see, now she's trapped me in marriage." Shikamaru glanced at Chouji, who attempted very manfully not to laugh at the expression on his friend's face, nor at the indignation on Ino's. "Plus, we all know how well philosophy pays the bills, so she doesn't have anything to worry about ever again, now that she's got a husband with such a lucrative lack of profession and can look forward to _two_ children to support."

"Honey, please, we don't need to discuss this in front of Chouji, he's not interested…" Ino patted his arm and Shikamaru heaved a great sigh, marked his page, and set the book down very carefully before turning an expectant look at his wife.

"Oh really? Well then, could you suggest a time and place where perhaps _we_ could discuss it? Because so far, your suggestions for what we're going to do have mostly consisted of 'everything will just work out,' as well as 'maybe we can live with my parents.' Do you really think it's responsible for us to just fly blind like this, to keep having kids without any possible freaking way to take care of them or feed them? It was already going to be hard to take care of Aki ourselves. I don't know if you realized that feeding her, clothing her, that stuff isn't actually _free_. Just because everyone in this house has been supporting her, supporting _us_ for the past three years doesn't mean we're magically going to have money to take care of her after graduation. And now you're talking about not even going to medical school! What am I supposed to do? I don't know if you realize this, but professors don't exactly make a huge amount of money, and besides that, it's really unlikely I could even expect a really good professorship until I have not only my master's, but also my doctorate, which, even if I get in a normal timeframe are still going to take _years._ By the time I'm making any sort of considerable income, Aki's going to be in school herself, and this one won't be far behind, not to mention with our luck, we'll probably have like three more in the mean time. But don't worry, you'll stay home and watch the kids! Great, because my biggest concern is babysitting my children, who will probably be starving and clothed in _rags_." Shikamaru finished and Chouji blinked at him in surprise as Ino burst into tears.

"Okay…that's more like what I was expecting." He turned, setting down his food and set a hand on Shikamaru's arm very cautiously. "But, um, maybe you should calm down, 'cause I don't think it's really helping things if you give your pregnant wife a panic attack. Plus, I mean, there's no reason to get so worked up. You know any of us that can help in any way, well, that's what friends are for, right? And anyway, Ino's parents aren't like loaded, but I heard they were pretty well off, so you won't be just left to starve or anything."

"Chouji…you know that's not the point. I can't just always let everyone take care of me and my family. I didn't marry Ino so that she could have a shiny ring…I was trying to say that I was going to take care of us, that we were a team and that we could do this thing together, but it's like, if I'm the only one worried, what's going to happen then? I mean, Ino's way too excited about this, she should be freaked out!" Shikamaru shook his head sharply. "How can she not be freaked out?"

"You think I'm not freaked out?" Ino managed after a gulping sob, wiping her eyes and sniffling. "You think…think I don't see how hard this is going to make things? I'm just trying…trying to paint it in a better light, I'm just trying not to get as messed up as I got…l—last time. It's going to be hard enough without me having a complete mental breakdown, r—right? So excuse my unfounded optimism, but one of us has to try and see the bright side or we're already completely fucked."

"I don't see why it makes sense for me to continue school and you to stay at home when you're the one who's going to make the money that could feasibly support us!" Shikamaru told her, and her face twisted as though she was going to start crying harder than ever, but she pursed her lips and responded in a shaky voice.

"You think I _want_ to have to put my career on hold?" she sniffed again and had to take a deep breath to continue. Chouji stared at his snow peas industriously, trying to be invisible. "You think I really find the situation ideal? Maybe it didn't occur to you that medical school is usually even more time-consuming than other graduate programs, especially when you considered I'm married to a genius who can do work that takes most people weeks in like two hours. So that means if _I_ continued while you stayed home, you'd be basically taking care of both kids yourself, because I'd have barely any time left for my personal life, and guess what? It'll get even busier once I get a residency, so yeah, I guess I could pay the bills, but you'd never see me. I want my children to know their mother!"

"Ino…" Shikamaru was surprised by the thought she had put into this. He had been frustrated with her, thinking she hadn't considered what having a second child at this time could mean at all, and to know that she actually had thought of it was surprising and also amazingly reassuring. "I guess…guess I didn't think about it like that. I'm sorry, if you want me to stay in school while you stay home…that's fine, we can do that. And…maybe if we talk to our parents, they'll help out a little…and it'll be okay. I'll probably be able to get a job, maybe even teach classes, some universities will let grad students do that, and then…then it could all work out…you're right. But…I mean, do you think you'll ever want to go back to school, or…or what?"

"I don't know," Ino shook her head heavily. "I mean, being a doctor…that's what I wanted when I came to college, but now…I mean, Sakura's so much more serious about it than I am, and I'm starting to think…maybe sometimes your dreams change. I thought…maybe I could take over my parents' business some day. I always thought before maybe they'd be disappointed in me if I did, but I do like it, and I know a lot about it, I've worked for them and with them since before it was really legal and I think that if I did that, I could manage my time…I could figure it out, and we could be okay. I just…just hope you don't think that's too…like I'm settling for something, like it's not ambitious enough."

"Hey," Shikamaru leaned over, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Chouji very pointedly did not look up. Over his time at college, he had mastered becoming invisible in these situations. "You don't have to plan to be the greatest doctor in the country for me to love you, for me to be proud of you. I think that's a really good idea, and if you'll be happy doing that, I'll be happy, too."

"But I mean…I could have probably done that without going to college," Ino sniffled and Shikamaru reached over, brushing away a stray tear rolling down her cheek. "Doesn't it seem like…like I didn't even really need to come here? Like, what did I really get out of it?"

"Isn't that obvious?" he asked, smiling softly, and she giggled, letting him kiss her so that her sadness evaporated, and she saw that all he had wanted was to know that she knew what they were getting into, and she understood it could be hard, but that she was willing to work through it.

"Er, hey," Shiori's voice interrupted the moment, and Shikamaru pulled away, leaving his arm around his wife and frowning at the freshman passing through the dining room to get a glass of water. "What's up with everyone?"

"Making dinner," Chouji answered rather stoically, and while he was glad that Ino and Shikamaru were working things out, he was also glad that Shiori had showed up before they could so completely forget he was there that they started having sex on the table or something. Not that anything like that had happened to him yet, but there had been some close calls.

"We don't have a session today, do we?" Shikamaru asked, looking at his book as though it knew his schedule somehow.

"No, no, I was just over hanging out with Kankurou, you know," Shiori sat down across from them, possibly since there was no seat next to Shikamaru, but also possibly because she was wary of Ino and wanted to keep an eye on her. "And he got this phone call, and it must be important or something because he made me leave the room so he could talk in private, and he seemed like…really interested."

"Oh great, he's already cheating on you?" Ino rolled her eyes, still red-rimmed from crying. "Seriously, Kankurou. Show a little respect."

"No…he said it was business." Shiori nodded slightly.

"Yeah, what do you think his _business_ is? Hooking up with every girl he can find who will have him." Ino shook her head. "Seriously, why you even _want_ to be with him is so beyond me. You should find someone more…hey, are _you_ secretly dating Chouji? Scandal!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, not everything is a scandal, just let it go." Shikamaru retracted the arm around her shoulder, shaking his head at his wife, clearly annoyed with her ability to immediately revert from being responsible and mature to being a nosy rumor-monger at the hint of some new drama developing between their friends. "It's not any of our business who Chouji's dating, or even if he's dating anyone. It's his business, and if he wants to tell you, he will, okay? So just move on."

"Hey, baby, I gotta go meet a guy," Kankurou darted into the dining room and kissed Shiori rather swiftly, swinging his keys from one finger. "Got some business, I'll be back later, you guys keep Shiori happy while I'm gone, right? Good times." And before they could say anything, he practically flew out of the room and they heard the front door open and slam shut. Everyone was watching Shiori, who sipped her water and blinked at them slowly as though she couldn't see what they could possibly expect from her.

"What?" she blinked at them, turquoise eyes wide. "What are you reading, Shikamaru?" she pointed at the book sitting on the table. "For school or pleasure?"

"No, no, don't you even see what's going on?" Ino shook her head in disbelief, pulling the book away much to Shikamaru's clear disapproval. "Kankurou just left for some booty call with one of his freaking hussies! He's cheating on you, and he hasn't even been seeing you for like, a month."

"That's not necessarily true," Chouji offered. "He gets up to a lot of things that would really piss off Temari, so maybe that's what he was going to do in such a hurry."

"Yes, I'd say his business is doing everything Temari hates." Shikamaru nodded thoughtfully. "But…well, it is true he's never _not_ cheated on a girl, at least, as far as we've witnessed while living with him. And that was…pretty suspicious."

"Yeah, seriously, have some self-respect! You should go tail him and then when you catch him with the girl, you can kick the crap out of him!" Ino advised. "Or! Or, you can wait outside the girl's place, and when he comes out, you grab him by his shoulders and just knee him _right_ in the balls," Ino gesticulated wildly. "Because the only thing that hurts a guy worse than being kicked in the balls is when you do it _right_ after he has lots of sex!"

"That seems…like something I'd rather you not know." Shikamaru narrowed his eyes at Ino, and she shrugged, crossing her arms.

"Girls just have to know things like that." She explained. "Shiori knows."

"Shiori, don't listen to her, you don't want to be like that." Shikamaru shook his head in a slow, resigned fashion. "Just take it from me."

"Well, one could argue that dating Kankurou isn't exactly the greatest choice, either." Chouji muttered from where he was picking up the bowl of peas and walking them into the kitchen.

"Don't listen to him," Ino rolled her eyes. "Well, I mean, Chouji's right, but don't listen to Shikamaru. You know, you remind me of myself a bit, Shiori, I could help you get a _much_ better man if you just listen to my advice."

"Please, no." Shikamaru rolled his eyes and leveled a stare at Shiori. "Don't become her apprentice, she's evil."

"Um, a little _appreciation_ here, I'm your beloved wife, who has given you a child…wait, well, is about to give you a _second_ child! So enough with the slander." Ino chided before smiling at Shiori in a mothering fashion, "He _adores _me, can't keep his hands off me, you see. And when I met him, he couldn't be bothered to do most anything. And now look at what I've molded him into. A fine husband, a loving father, a good student—"

"You know, I already got straight A's before you came along with your interfering ways," Shikamaru put in, annoyed at her claims.

"And I could help you get a guy like that and train him to be just as you like." Ino explained, ignoring Shikamaru's protest as well as the disdainful snort that greeted her conclusion. "Follow my advice. Shikamaru and I got together in six weeks, you know."

"Um." Shikamaru frowned at her then. "Maybe they teach a different type of math in the classes you've been taking, but we weren't together until January. We met at the end of August if I'm remembering right."

"I'm counting from when I realized that I _wanted_ to get with you," Ino told him with a smug expression on her face. "Remember that night, you told me to stop messing around with Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura had hit me and you helped me ice down my eye?" she beamed at Shiori. "That's the night I decided that I was going to get Shikamaru, no matter what. Bad enough I couldn't turn Sasuke to my side, I wasn't going to fail twice in a row."

"You know, it is so romantic when you tell that story." Shikamaru gave her a droll look. "See if you can insert some more information about how you'd have been with Sasuke first, but that I was an okay consolation prize."

"Aw, don't be sad, honey." Ino turned her smile on his scowl her fingers trailing over the side of his face. "Not everyone's smart enough to know what's best for them. Sometimes we need someone to make it a little clearer. Sometimes you need that moment, when you think that everything's against you, and suddenly I saw…you'd always been there, and if I could just make you really see…I knew that I'd be happier with you than I could ever have been with him, or with anyone else." Shikamaru's scowl fell away, and she kissed him softly, an almost chaste meeting of lips before she gave him a little smirk. "Not that I would have necessarily minded making a mistake like Sasuke before settling down with you."

"Ugh, every time I think you're being serious—" Shikamaru cut himself off as the front door slammed so loudly they all started and turned in that direction, just to see Kankurou run in, passing them by as if he didn't even see them there, and the next thing they knew, there was a wordless yell followed by some crashing, and the sounds of a struggle from the kitchen. They looked at each other, but none of them could see the source of the noise from their vantage points so they stood and ran into the kitchen to see Chouji and Kankurou on the ground fighting as if their lives depended on it.

"What the hell?!" Ino yelped, but they didn't seem interested in explaining themselves, and as they watched, Kankurou started strangling Chouji, who was pummeling the other man in any spot he could reach, an uncharacteristic look of fury on his face. She turned to Shikamaru who let out a long-suffering sigh as he realized he'd have to break this up.

Why was it always all up to him?

----------

To be continued…


	20. Chapter 20

If I Fall

Chapter 20

----------

"I guess I don't get it." Gaara's voice was soft, but it cut through the brisk late-autumn air with no trouble, and stung Naruto as bad as if he'd yelled. He'd told Gaara that things couldn't go on the way they had been. After discussing it with Sasuke and coming to that conclusion, Naruto had known that it would be easier if he could speak to Gaara on his own, because if anyone was likely to be unhappy to hear that the shift in their group had to turn toward something a bit more like how it had been. Even if things would never be exactly like normal friendship between them, he knew that if he had to choose between the warmth of Gaara and the security of having Sasuke to himself…he'd made his decision, and even if there was a bit of regret, it wasn't fair that just Gaara and he continued on, and everything else was reverted to normal friendly interactions between the four of them. Maybe it had been cowardly of him to have this discussion here, in a park, while they watched Aki playing in a sandbox with a couple other local children, other children and parents nearby enough to prevent a huge scene, but not so close that they could hear what was going on, or even guess. "Maybe I'm missing something."

"Gaara," Naruto sighed, and even though he knew it probably wasn't smart, he reached over, enclosing Gaara's hand in his, tangling their fingers together and feeling the fear and apprehension ease itself a bit at the constant comfort he found in just touching Gaara. This was what he was sacrificing…was he crazy? But then…if the price of this was sharing Sasuke with not just Gaara, but also with Neji…it wasn't something he could afford. It hurt too much, and too constantly he felt the jealousy build, the doubt and concern. Before, he'd had his moments of concern, where he had not been sure of Sasuke and where he stood exactly, what precisely he was thinking, what his reaction to some situation or another might be, but this…this was proving to be too much for Naruto, and even if it wasn't making Gaara and Neji worry about each others' affections and feelings, it didn't change the fact that Sasuke and him just weren't built to do this for any period of time. "I don't know how to explain it. If you don't understand…there's no way I can force you to get it, to know what it feels like to me and to him, but it's just…"

"Don't you love me?" Gaara's tone was plaintive, and it broke Naruto's heart a little to hear the pain there, and to know that he was causing it. This was the choice he had made, and these were the consequences, and he would have to learn to accept them. "Did you change your mind? Is there something…something more I could do? Something I'm not doing right, or something you like a different way, or something I need to work on?"

"No, Gaara, it's not about any of that," Naruto turned his eye away from the toddler in the sandbox to look at Gaara, so the other man could see the sincerity in his expression. "I do love you, and there's nothing wrong with anything…we do together. I wish I could still be with you, but the fact of the matter is that I can't…can't watch Neji and him, or even you and him together without thinking…thinking maybe he'll get tired of me, maybe he'll love me less, or maybe he'll stop loving me altogether. Maybe what he really wants is to be with someone else, and maybe..."

"He won't ever leave you." Gaara told him in a flat tone, but there was harshness behind it, and a flash of jealousy in his mint-green eyes that told Naruto that he wasn't happy about this, even if he hadn't already deduced as much from his refusal to simply bow out easily. "You know that, and you've always known that. Is this really about how you feel, or is he the one? Is he jealous, seeing us together, seeing that we really care about each other? Afraid you're going to leave him, that we're going to run off together or something like that?"

"He's jealous," Naruto admitted, because it wouldn't be fair to lie. "But he's not really any more jealous than I am. I guess…before, when there was just this," he gestured with his free hand at the space between them, "this thing between us, I knew he must be jealous, even though he said it was okay, even though he said he wanted me to be happy, and if I love you, I shouldn't feel like I have to be afraid of what that means, what he'll think. He kept telling me that even though he didn't really want to see it…he knew I still loved him best, that I would always come back to him, and he wouldn't have to worry about being left behind. But…when things evolved, I think at first I thought that now…everything would be on a level playing field, and it was actually better than it had been. Neji and Sasuke wouldn't be left to watch us, knowing that we felt something outside of what we felt for them, something…maybe not as strong, but still…really important, and really…it's love, no matter what. But the thing is, I can't just see Neji making out with Sasuke and think, 'oh, that's nice for them, maybe I'll do some of that later.' It just makes me…I mean, I _know_ he loves me, I know that. But with Neji, there's stuff there…I'm sure you can't like watching Sasuke and Neji together all that much."

"It doesn't really bother me," Gaara grumbled, swinging his feet sullenly and huffing, turning to look over at the sandbox and seeing Aki still there, laughing and playing with the other children. "I've been with Sasuke, and when he's with Neji or me…it's not the same. He's good at everything, I guess, but he's not…he doesn't feel it."

"Watching Sasuke with you…I thought that would be easier," Naruto pressed on, knowing he'd have to explain this as clearly as possibly if he was going to make Gaara understand and accept his decision. "I thought…since you two have never gotten along, if I saw you kissing or even really…more, I thought I'd just shrug it off. I thought that if anything, I'd just be happy you guys were doing something together that wasn't fighting, that was…I mean, even if you didn't like each other, that you were starting to learn to, even if it was in a really…well, a really weird way. But then…seeing how well you two could work together…seeing you made me think that if I was gone, it wouldn't really be a big deal, and that maybe you'd all forget me. It may seem selfish, but…"

"No, that's not selfish." Gaara's voice was soft again, gentle and pained and Naruto had to squeeze his hand, had to feel the warmth of those fingers, so different from Sasuke's, but still so dear to him. There was a long silence between them as they sat holding hands, watching Aki, but their concentration more on each other than anything else. Naruto wondered exactly what Gaara was thinking, how deeply this decision was affecting him, if he could forgive Naruto the choice he'd made, and the reasons he'd felt he had to make it. The feel of Gaara's fingers in his comforted him, and made him feel that at the very least Gaara didn't hate him. "When I was young, I wished I could disappear."

"Gaara, please," Naruto could feel himself choke up at the mention of Gaara's childhood, his traumatic past. He didn't want to start crying here in this park, but it was something that had always hurt him to think about, and to have him bring it up now, when he was already struggling with the conflicting emotions caused by this situation, by what was happening, by what he was changing with his own hand, and what he could feel disappearing between them, or at least changing to something…something that would never really be the same. "I can't—"

"You're the one who wanted to do this here," Gaara's voice shook slightly, and Naruto realized that the redhead was angry with him and was trying to control that, was trying to dampen the urge to yell and struggle by reminding himself that he was with Naruto, who he loved, and Aki, who was a child he would always feel protective of. "If you didn't want it to be in public you could have done this differently, and you know it."

"Sorry." Naruto couldn't help feeling like this was what he deserved. It had been cowardly, and now it was working against him. If anything, it seemed likely he'd be the one to cause a scene.

"I was saying," Gaara shifted, and suddenly he was right next to Naruto, their shoulders pressed against each other, their arms and thighs aligned, and Gaara pulled Naruto's hand gently into his lap, opened it with both of his and traced a line of his palm idly. Naruto shuddered at the sensation, and while he knew he shouldn't allow this to progress any further, the message was clear: _I'm angry, but I don't want to hurt you, I just want to be heard._ He should let Gaara explain his point of view as well, after all. It was only fair. "When I was young, I wished sometimes that I could disappear. I wished that I could become invisible, or that everything about me…that it would all fade away, and be erased as though I was never here in the first place. Maybe then…I wouldn't hurt so badly, maybe then, no one could hurt me, and if they ever had, it would all be undone, and everything would be better. I also had other ideas about how…how to fix things. Obviously, I decided to stay alive, to try and make something of all of this. I wanted…wanted to know what the point of everything was. Why had I been born? Was I only there to be punished, to be hurt and was it really…was that really what it was to be loved?" Gaara felt a clench in his chest as he felt Naruto let out a silent, shuddering sob, and he looked at him slantways, saw the tears he was trying to hide by staring down at his lap. Gaara leaned over, not concerned about what the other people might think, and kissed his cheek softly before leaning back against the bench, squeezing his hand and kissing the knuckles softly as he let his gaze travel over the park, making sure Aki was still in the sandbox, happy and safe and totally unaware of what was happening on the bench between Naruto and him. "So I know what despair feels like. I know what it's like to wish you were invisible, but I guess…I never could make myself disappear, and while it made me angry at the time, maybe that's why now, when I know what being loved is really like…now that I have so many people to care about, who care about me, I'm never concerned that Neji might forget me, never worried that I might disappear from his life, or from your's. I want to understand how you feel. I want to agree with you, to smile and say it is better that way…but I would be lying."

"I don't want you to disappear, Gaara," Naruto sniffed slowly, and his voice was thick with tears. Gaara nodded, unfolding his palm and kissing it slowly, a long, lingering kiss that was bordering on inappropriate even though it was only on his hand, even though he wasn't even looking at Naruto, just staring at his hand as though it somehow could resolve all of this in a way that ended with neither of them hurting at all. "But…even if you don't feel that same fear, even if you don't really understand why it has to be this way, Sasuke does understand. That doesn't make him better, but it does mean he feels the same thing, and even if I could bear with it on my own for a long time if I thought you were all happy and fine, knowing that I'm hurting him…it makes it different. Can't you understand that, at least?"

"I hate this," Gaara sighed heavily after a long pause, no longer kissing Naruto's palm, but stroking it absently with his thumb while he watched Aki to make sure she didn't wander off. "I know that I do not want you to hurt, but I also do not want to hurt. I want to keep you. I want to hold you tight and refuse to let you go, but if I did…you would hate me, in the end. Wouldn't you?"

"Sometimes it isn't enough just to love each other." Naruto let his head fall on Gaara's shoulder, feeling vaguely guilty, but needing the comfort so badly he couldn't bring himself to care about how it might seem in that moment. "Life isn't perfect."

"No," Gaara pursed his lips slightly. "I thought it was for a while, though."

"Why do you say things like that?" Naruto asked, the pain in his chest nearly unbearable. "You make it so hard…"

"I just say what I think." Gaara answered frankly. "I'm not trying to make things worse." There was a long silence and he turned to Naruto, blinking dark-rimmed eyes at the other man as realization struck him suddenly. "No one has ever dumped me before."

"Gaara," Naruto didn't think it was meant to be funny, but he couldn't help laughing, leaning in and hugging Gaara, who returned the embrace with rib-crushing intensity. "I don't think this really counts. It's not like we can't still hug and stuff. We just…we need to just be friends from now on. I'm not dumping you. It's not like we don't still love each other, we just can't…can't keep doing things the way we were."

"I know," Gaara's voice was hushed against Naruto's ear, his breath hitching as he struggled to control his own emotions now that he was in the sanctuary of Naruto's arms. "But it hurts so badly."

"I know." Naruto felt a tear fall down his face, but he knew that even though he felt the same pain Gaara was feeling, this was better. He couldn't go on the way they had been without driving himself crazy, and most likely jeopardizing everything between Sasuke and him. That was something he couldn't do, and even if Gaara didn't really understand all the reasons they couldn't go on, Naruto knew that the redhead would do as he wished, because that was the sort of person he was.

That was one of the reasons Naruto loved him in the first place.

----------

"Does Kankurou have rabies? What the hell?!" Ino was clearly flabbergasted as she watched the pair of men fighting on the kitchen floor. Shiori was hard to read, and though she looked surprised, she didn't look that concerned, but then again, her boyfriend was the one strangling Chouji, and while Kankurou was taking a few blows, it wasn't looking good for the other man. "Stop them!" she tugged at her husband's sleeve, and he grumbled something under his breath before lunging into the fray, pulling Kankurou off of his best friend, and getting punched in the face as his captive immediately turned on him. Shikamaru fell over, dazed with a bloody nose as Kankurou went back for Chouji, who was panting as he tried to recover from being choked, and Ino, while quite furious with this turn of events, went to her husband's side rather than try to break up the fight herself.

"Shiori, dammit, do something!" Ino decided that it was clearly Shiori's job to control her boyfriend, and while Chouji was participating in the fight, since Kankurou had started it, it wouldn't end until he was dealt with. "Grab him, or…go get someone, do _something!_"

"Hey is everyone—" Kiba, having heard a large thump while he was down in the den, had come upstairs to investigate, and as soon as he saw the pair on the ground and Ino crouched beside a bleeding Shikamaru, he steeled himself and dove at Kankurou, pulling him away from Chouji, possibly guessing that of the two, it was more likely that Kankurou would have started whatever this was. However, this also proved to be a mistake, because even though Kiba did get Kankurou to let Chouji be, as soon as he saw who had interfered, he turned on Kiba with a muttered "bastard" and a furious energy that seemed not to have left him since his sudden, violent return. Kiba was nearly floored by the first unexpected hit, but he fought back, not really wanting to attack Temari's brother, but also not wanting to be killed by a clearly insane Kankurou.

"Oh my god, really?" Ino threw up her hands as Shikamaru started to recover himself, mopping at his face and blinking around in confusion. Chouji was panting and touching a split above his left eye rather gingerly. "Well, help him! Are you seriously telling me that it takes more than three men to subdue Kankurou?"

"No fucking way am I touching him again," Shikamaru grumbled, his voice sounding slightly as though he had a cold from the bloody nose he was nursing. "I'm gonna find Gaara, he can deal with it." He got to his feet shakily and trotted out of the kitchen. Ino glared at Shiori as if this were all somehow her fault.

"_Well_," she stood, giving the other blonde an expectant look and moving so that she wouldn't accidentally get pulled into the mess of Kankurou attacking Kiba, who was trying to defend himself without hurting Kankurou, and Chouji suddenly lunging at them both and hitting Kankurou so hard it made a loud cracking noise as his nose broke with a spray of blood. "Do something already, or it's just going to get worse."

"I don't want to get hit!" Shiori finally exclaimed, and Ino rolled her eyes.

"He won't hit _you_, you're his girlfriend." Ino pointed out. "Besides, I'm pregnant, I can't jump in."

"Just come on—" Shikamaru's voice reached them and they turned to the entryway, ignoring momentarily the spectacle of the three men fighting and looking to see what might happen now.

"I don't think I have any reason to help." Neji, who seemed to be the recruit Shikamaru had located in lieu of Gaara, did not seem especially eager to be about his task of breaking up the fight. "I'd rather not get a bloody nose."

"Oh, fine, so you'll be the one to explain to Gaara and Temari that you just watched while Chouji and Kiba killed him? Or maybe Kiba will get landed in the hospital, and I'm sure Temari and Hinata won't give a shit about that, so no worries." Shikamaru asked, reasonably indignant for someone with blood splattered on their face. "Good, less trouble for me. Come on, Ino, let's get out of here."

"Point taken." Neji swept his hair behind his shoulders and poised himself. "You grab Chouji, I'll get Kankurou. Kiba looks like an unwilling participant, so I'm sure he'll be fine."

"I swear…if I get clocked again…" Shikamaru grumbled as he clenched his fists before nodding, and they both lunged at their targets, successfully separating them even as they were both still swinging. Kiba, who had just taken a hard hit to the chin, did an odd little spin, slumped against the wall and slid to the ground in a heap, ignored by everyone else as Neji struggled to subdue his charge. Chouji stopped struggling only a few moments after being pulled out of the fight, and blinked at Shikamaru in shock when he saw his bloodied face.

"Did I—" he began, and Shikamaru shook his head, jerking a thumb at Kankurou as he released his friend, figuring that Chouji was unlikely to attack anyone anytime soon even considering that he must be upset about being attacked while trying to make dinner.

"No, first time I tried to help you, I grabbed Kankurou and he nearly broke my nose." He touched the sore appendage gingerly "But looks like you got him back for me."

"Eh…yeah." Chouji was recovering himself and seemed embarrassed to have been in such a mad struggle, especially since it had caused injury to Shikamaru, Kiba, and possibly also Neji, who had given up on letting Kankurou calm down and had somehow knocked the older man unconscious, letting him fall to the floor as he rubbed a sore jaw and touched his lip gingerly, testing for blood. "That was…pretty crazy."

"What could have gotten into him!?" Ino wet a paper towel and brought it to Shikamaru, mopping up his face. He was so surprised at her consideration that he let this go on without trying to stop her, and then Shiori, seeing she should probably do something at this point, got another paper towel and handed it to Chouji before seeming to realize for the first time that her boyfriend was unconscious on the floor. She heaved him onto his back and began cleaning his face up rather hesitantly, as though the blood bothered her a great deal. Her hands were shaking, and her face was grey. Ino noticed this, but it didn't make her less annoyed with the complete lack of help the girl had offered during the fight.

"Is Kiba okay?" Shikamaru asked as Ino dabbed up the last bit of blood and he let out an involuntary sniff, touching his nose to see if it was still leaking blood. "He took some pretty bad hits."

"What is all this, anyway?" Neji asked, annoyed that he'd been hit by Kankurou, but glad that at least he wasn't bleeding. He was sure Gaara would be more than happy to comfort him when he came home from the park. "I'm going to assume Kankurou decided to finally avenge his sister or something of that sort?"

"No, he came after Chouji." Ino told him as her husband bent over Kiba and slapped his cheeks lightly to see if he could revive him with no luck. "I have no idea why! I mean, seriously, what has Chouji ever done to _anyone_? I mean, what, did you dump his entire booze supply down the toilet or something like that?"

"No." Chouji was looking at Kankurou oddly, and Shikamaru glanced at his friend speculatively. He thought that Chouji might have some idea what was going on here, but he could understand why he wouldn't exactly want to tell Ino, who had never been the most trustworthy confidante in the house. "Nothing like that."

"Did he say anything to you, Shiori?" Ino asked the blonde, who was still making slow progress cleaning up Kankurou's face, and let out a little yelp when she heard her name before turning to look at Ino. "Did he say that he was going to go after Chouji for any reason that you can remember? I mean, I can't imagine he's difficult to live next to, he's like the most patient person ever."

"He didn't say anything about it, no," she frowned and turned back to her boyfriend. Ino shook her head and went to help Shikamaru with Kiba, who was not awake, but at least was having the blood mopped off his face.

"Well, it doesn't make any sense." Ino pursed her lips, annoyed that she hadn't seen this coming. "Chouji's not exactly starting lots of fights, and normally Kankurou just runs away rather than risk getting hurt."

"I don't see what he's worried about…" Shikamaru shook his head as he looked down at the cuts and early bruising that marred Kiba's face. "He can clearly handle himself."

"Yes, but then he has to deal with Temari." Neji pointed out, and Ino shook her head again, still totally baffled by the turn of events. "Is Kiba going to survive?" his voice made it sound as if this was merely a matter of interest, but not something he was genuinely worried about in the long run.

"What's going on in here?" Sasuke shuffled into the room then, and scowled to see that not only was dinner not ready, Naruto wasn't here, and several people seem to have been hurt, most likely by each other. "Is Naruto home yet?" he asked Neji, seeming to find the unconscious people to be a secondary concern.

"Not that I know of." Neji rubbed his jaw again. "I had to stop a fight."

"Kankurou came home, like crazy out of his mind and attacked _Chouji_, of all people!" Ino was more than happy to share the story in more detail. Sasuke blinked at her, gave Chouji an odd look, frowned at the people on the ground, and then looked at the beginnings of dinner.

"Who's making dinner, then?" he asked.

"I'm working on it, thanks for the concern." Chouji shook his head and rolled his eyes at Sasuke's attitude. "First we'll need to move these two."

"Kankurou's still…all bloody," Shiori made a sickly face and looked as though she might faint. Ino left Shikamaru in charge of Kiba and moved over to take over mopping up Kankurou with clear exasperation.

"Here, I'll get him." Neji was clearly annoyed at the idea of having to carry either of the two on the floor, but considering Kankurou had bruised him, he was less irate at the idea of helping Kiba, so he scooped the man up and hefted him into the living room, flopping him down onto a couch with very little care. As he crossed the living room, he saw Chouji and Shikamaru struggling with Kankurou, who was taller and a bit heavier, just as the door opened and Naruto and Gaara entered with Aki in the blonde's arms.

"You guys! What's wrong with Kankurou?" Naruto asked as he saw the man being carried into the living room. "What's going on?"

"Neji had to knock him out." Shikamaru grunted, heaving Kankurou toward the loveseat. "He was going crazy…attacking everyone."

"What?! Why would he attack anyone?" Naruto wanted to know, and Gaara moved toward Neji, looking him over for injuries as he watched his brother being slung onto the loveseat in a rather haphazard fashion. "Oh my god, what's Kiba doing in here!"

"Remember the attacking everyone thing?" Shikamaru asked, brushing off his hands and taking a deep breath. "Kiba was one of the everyone. He also got Chouji, Neji, and me. He'll be fine, he just needs to rest a bit."

"He was after Chouji." Sasuke, who had entered the room, hearing his boyfriend's voice, spoke up. "The others were just people who got in his way."

"Kankurou attacked you?" Gaara's voice was low and dangerous as he addressed Neji. He wasn't in the best mood after what Naruto had told him, and now he came home to find his brother unconscious because he'd been fighting with Neji? Well…if he really had attacked Neji, Gaara might have to attack _him_ when he woke up. "Did he hurt you?"

"Not really." Neji shook his head, rubbing his chin. "Hit me there, so I knocked him out. He was out of control." Gaara kissed Neji's chin and frowned at his brother, even though he was in no condition to notice Gaara's displeasure at the moment.

"Daddy!" Aki held out her hands and squirmed, seeing her father, and Naruto relinquished her to her father, who kissed her head and hugged her almost reflexively.

"I'm going upstairs, I'm sick of people." Shikamaru told them and left the room, intercepting his wife on his way upstairs and completely forgetting the book he'd left in the kitchen.

"I'm going to check on Shiori, she looked like she was going to pass out." Chouji grimaced at the pain in his face. He wasn't used to being hit, but being on the soccer team, he'd certainly had his share of injuries in the past. "Can someone tie him up or something? I don't want him coming after me again.

"What did you do?" Gaara asked, but Chouji just walked past without answering, shaking his head and touching his forehead gingerly as though afraid he'd start bleeding again. "What did he do? Kankurou talks a lot, but the last time he attacked someone was you, back when…" he trailed off and made a face at Sasuke, who wasn't currently one of his favorite people. Sasuke blinked in surprise and then looked at Naruto, noticed his weary expression, and realized what must be going on there. He grabbed his lover by the hand and led him out of the room, letting Gaara and Neji speculate all they wanted in their absence.

"Come on," Sasuke's tone was gentle as he led the blonde into their room and pulled him onto the bed. "Lay down, I'll rub your back." Naruto complied, letting Sasuke pull his shirt off without any struggle, and for a long time, the only noises were his soft, contented sighs and grunts as Sasuke worked the tension out of his back, neck, and shoulders. By the time he had moved on to massaging Naruto's arms gently and systematically, the blonde had stopped being so confused and shocked by the scene that had been awaiting his return from the park.

"I talked to Gaara about…everything." His voice was muffled by the pillow he was pressed against, so he turned his neck a bit, facing Sasuke, who was carefully working his right arm over at this point. Sasuke glanced up from his task to meet Naruto's eyes briefly before he nodded to show he understood. "He wasn't very happy."

"Why should he be?" Sasuke asked. "He was able to do whatever he wanted with you, and now he can't. I'd be in a shitty mood if I were him."

"It's not the same," Naruto sighed. "It's not like he doesn't have Neji." But Naruto did understand what Sasuke was saying, and he was glad to see that Sasuke hadn't thought this would be a simple thing, taking things back and changing the way the relationship worked yet again. He would need his support, he knew that. "So…were you there for the big fight?"

"No." Sasuke let down the arm and moved to work on the left. Naruto's head turned to follow him. "I came by after it was all over."

"But you know what's going on," Naruto prompted. "Don't you?" Sasuke glanced over again, grunted, and then finally nodded slightly while continuing to work the tension out of Naruto's arm, and then his hand, a simple but pleasurable task. "Are you going to tell me, or is this part of the whole 'I don't gossip' thing?"

"It is…but I can see you're worried." Sasuke sighed, releasing the left arm and rolling off of Naruto, flopping down onto the bed. "I can tell you what I know, but you can't tell anyone. I really don't think we're meant to know, and I don't want to interfere."

"Well, I'm sure if there's some disagreement between Kankurou and Chouji, it can't be too big." Naruto shrugged his shoulders, which looked odd in his position, then shifted so that he was on his side, facing Sasuke so that he could pay attention to whatever he was going to be told.

"I think Chouji's dating Suri." Sasuke blurted out the words after a long silence, and Naruto's eyes went wide.

"Wait…you mean…" he shook his head slightly.

"Yeah, the professor." Sasuke nodded sharply. "So you can see why Kankurou…if he knew, I'm sure he wouldn't be happy. He might act like it was no big deal, but Temari was probably right. He's hung up on her."

"Yeah, but, I mean, he's dating Shiori now," Naruto frowned slightly. "He seems to get along with her well."

"That isn't all," Sasuke heaved a sigh. "This part you have to promise not to say anything about, because I don't know for sure…"

"I promise, its fine." Naruto assured him. "What, was Chouji secretly getting with her before they broke up or something?" he guessed, trying to think of what could possibly make things worse.

"Not that I know of." Sasuke frowned and pursed his lips. "The beginning of the year, someone else was teaching her classes. I thought she might have transferred, or that she was visiting family or something. She isn't the first teacher to take a sabbatical."

"Right," Naruto prompted, seeing that Sasuke was uncomfortable, but clearly working his way up to saying something very important. If it was a minor incident, he'd just say what had happened straight out, it wouldn't be such a big deal.

"But in October, she started teaching again." He made an odd face. "I thought…she looked a little…well, a little heavy, you know?" Naruto blinked in surprise. Sure, Sasuke was vain, but he didn't usually make such superficial comments about their friends or acquaintances without reason. "I didn't think of it too much, and she was slimming down anyway, but then I was downtown one day, running some errands, and I saw Chouji and her walking together, arms linked. I was surprised…at first I thought it was someone else, but then, when I looked again, my car had passed ahead of them and I could see that…Chouji was pushing a stroller."

"Wait…what?" Naruto blinked as he considered this thoughtfully. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"I don't know for sure." Sasuke interjected. "It could be a coincidence. They could be friends, I only saw them the once. And the stroller…she could have been babysitting."

"Well, it wouldn't be Aki in the stroller." Naruto frowned. "She pitches a fit when we try to strap her into it…big girl Aki can walk everywhere." He rolled onto his back, shaking his head in disbelief. "You don't think…Suri really had a kid?"

"And if she did," Sasuke pointed out quietly. "Think of the timing. She was out until the end of September, and she didn't say anything about what she was gone for when she took classes over again in October. I don't have her this semester, but you hear a lot working in the lab and helping out the younger students. I wouldn't have even known she was on leave except I'm in the department. She was so quiet about it. You know what it means if she had a kid in September."

"Kankurou." Naruto breathed the name out in a rush. "It would _have_ to be his, I mean, unless _she_ was also cheating on him. Because they broke up right after Valentine's Day."

"She probably didn't know until they'd already broken up." Sasuke nodded. "If…that's what's going on."

"I wonder how he found out?" Naruto shook his head. "He must know at least some of it, to be so pissed."

"If I saw them, other people would see them eventually." Sasuke shrugged. "If anyone could find out gossip about their ex, it's him. I'm just surprised it took this long."

"Do you really think it's possible?" Naruto asked him. "That Kankurou has a kid?"

"I don't know…" Sasuke shrugged. "But…it's the only thing that makes sense. Don't tell anyone, remember."

"I won't." Naruto nodded numbly. He couldn't believe something like that had happened. And if it was true, if Kankurou had just found out…how must he be feeling at that moment?

----------

To be Continued…


	21. Chapter 21

If I Fall

Chapter 21

----------

"It's like I live with a dozen babies, not just one." Temari had come home from grocery shopping with Sakura to find the household in disarray, to see her ex and her brother both laid up and clearly suffering from the after effects of a rather serious fight. Chouji had been cooking dinner, looking a bit subdued, and also clearly like he had been fighting. "Of all the people I never thought I'd have to tell to act like an adult, Chouji."

"I didn't start it, I'm telling you." Chouji grumbled, slamming down the pot of rice with more force than was strictly necessary. It was clear that he was agitated, though whether it was due to the accusations or the fact that he had been in a serious fight earlier that evening was unclear. "I was minding my own business, Kankurou came after me out of nowhere, everyone else was just trying to stop things and he turned on _them_ too. Shikamaru, Kiba, even Neji."

"I'm sorry, is there anyone in this house that didn't take part in this free for all?" Temari shook her head in disbelief. "And I have _never_ known Kankurou to start a fight with anyone. Be attacked for something idiotic he did, yes. Actually start the fight, no."

"What about that time he attacked Neji?" Sakura pointed out helpfully. She'd just returned from the living room to make sure neither of her friends were seriously injured, and had heard Shiori's take on what happened, since she was sitting near Kankurou, waiting for him to wake up. While it had been shaky and confused, it basically confirmed what Chouji had just told Temari, and Sakura thought it would be quite a coincidence for both Chouji and Shiori to have such an unlikely, but consistent story.

"That was different." Temari dismissed the memory at once. "Neji started that by being a fuckwit."

"Interesting." Sakura had to bite back a smile. It wasn't funny, really, but sometimes Temari was more like her brothers than she'd probably ever want to admit.

"I'm sorry if you don't want to believe me." Chouji shrugged and shook his head at her, clearly not in the mood to be patient and talk things out. "But I have to get dinner on the table, so I don't have the time for this. Maybe just tell me what you think happened, and we'll go with that."

"Hey! Don't get pissy with me, mister!" Temari scowled at Chouji, unexpectedly hurt to have him act dismissively toward her. No matter what was going on, Chouji had always been solid and patient and something of a peace maker in the house. That was part of the reason she was so upset about what was going on.

_Although maybe I'd be less upset if Kiba wasn't involved, honestly. Kankurou's always getting involved in things like this, but it's hard to think..._

She hadn't even gone to look at them when she had heard what was going on. She didn't know what her reaction would be to seeing two men who were so important to her in such a state, and she couldn't risk breaking down. Especially not in front of Kiba.

_So instead I'm taking it out on Chouji...the person who is least likely to have any fault in this. Great job, Temari. Way to not make things worse._

"What do you want from me, Temari? I'm tired, my face _hurts_, and I just want to have dinner and go to bed." Chouji told her, his tone frank. "I'm not going to sit here arguing with me. If you don't like my story, ask anyone else who was there. Ask Shikamaru or Ino. Ask Kankurou when he wakes up. Maybe he'll tell you what his problem is instead of going on another rampage."

"Shiori did say Kankurou attacked Chouji." Sakura interjected at that point, not wanting to stress Chouji out, considering her own feelings on the subject, which were that any altercation between Chouji and Kankurou was likely because of the latter. "Just came in from some errand and went straight for him, no warning."

"Well...well, but he's not insane, he must have had _some_ reason." Temari frowned, not wanting to admit that the conclusions she was jumping to were not based on much, and were most likely wrong. "Didn't he say anything at all? Or did you guys disagree about something?"

"There's a lot of things I don't really agree with Kankurou about." Chouji told her, his tone almost exactly as she was used to hearing it, but there was a hardness there she was unaccustomed to from him. "But I keep it to myself."

"Chouji, honestly, I'm not trying to pry into your business or anything," Temari sighed heavily, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's just...I mean, if there's something going on...something that's causing so many people to get hurt...I'd rather you just tell me, so we can figure out what to do together."

"Temari," he looked at her carefully, and she could see he was considering telling her something, which meant that however he was acting, this wasn't exactly an unprovoked incident. Something was going on, and he knew about it. "I don't know if it's best for me to talk to you about it." he told her finally.

"So there _is_ something going on." Sakura, who Temari had almost forgotten about, spoke up then. "I just have a hard time thinking of anything you would have done that would make Kankurou so angry that he'd just go after you like that. And, I mean, if all of that was done by him, and Kiba, too, he must have been _really_ upset." Sakura pointed at Chouji's face, which was bruising and had some cuts on it as evidence of his fight.

"I don't think we're really at a point where it's okay to keep things secret." Temari pursed her lips. "I understand you like your privacy, I know you don't like all the drama, but it's kind of too late to worry about getting dragged into things, if you haven't noticed. My brother's kicked the crap out of half the guys in the house, and from what you're saying, it sounds like you know why. I spent most of my youth trying to keep Gaara from killing people, and if you think I care any less about Kankurou and what he does, you're wrong. I can't just stand by and let you guys work things out if _this_ is what I come home to. So whether or not you want to, I need you to tell me what the hell is going on, and I need you to do it right now."

"Dammit." Chouji shook his head and moved to a chair, sitting down heavily, as if he was utterly exhausted. "Fine." Temari blinked, surprised that he'd agreed, but then again, one of the things she'd always loved about Chouji was how calmly he could think a situation through, how carefully he would consider everything before making a decision, something she long wished she could get either of her brothers to emulate. She had started out approaching this like she would with them, yelling and trying to get them to give in just to get her to leave them alone, but as soon as she switched over to explaining things sensibly and logically, he had immediately conceded.

_If only every problem could be solved so easily. _Her mind wandered to the other man in the living room at the moment, and for a moment, she considered what things would be like if Kiba and her could just discuss things calmly and logically, but she dismissed it almost at once as hopeless. _I can't be calm with him...after what happened, I just can't._

"It started a while back." Chouji explained slowly, and Temari sat down in the chair next to him, noticing that Sakura was standing perfectly still as though she thought that if she said or did anything, she wouldn't be allowed to stay for this. "I mean, before everything that happened, we got along, but I wouldn't have...I didn't ever..." he frowned and turned to Temari. "It started out, I would just spend time with her. She knew I wouldn't say anything, but she said it was nice to have me around, and things sort of...well, it got to be this way, and I'm guessing now he knows, so I might as well just tell you, because it's not like Kankurou's not going to say anything about it, and I'd rather you know that it wasn't like we were together before." He took a deep breath, and Temari blinked, trying very hard not to tell him to just get on with it. "Suri and I are dating."

"_That's_ who you're dating!?" Sakura, forgetting to be unobtrusive, clapped her hands to her mouth, her green eyes wide with surprise. "Oh my god! Since when?!"

"Not that long, really." Chouji insisted, glancing warily at Temari, who was looking very blank at the moment, and had not said anything, though her face had completely drained of color. "I swear, there was nothing like that when Kankurou and her were together! But you can see why I didn't want to say anything, and anyway, she didn't want to come over with...well, Temari, the thing is...she just had a kid, and obviously it's Kankurou's, but with everything the way it is, she decided she'd rather keep things quiet. I mean, she doesn't want him interfering, and...well, she's going to be pissed at me, frankly, for telling you, because she likes you and all, but she really thought that if you found out, you'd try and take her away, you know, not because you're bad or anything, just...well, I mean, she knows how powerful your family is, and if you did want her, it'd be really easy, I mean, she could probably barely afford a lawyer, and then you...well, just promise that you won't take her away." Chouji finished in a rush, his cheeks flushed with emotion and the effort of having said so much so suddenly. "Because it'd break Suri's heart, and I keep telling her that you'd understand, that you wouldn't ever do that, but that she should at least tell you, because you'd want to help and everything..."

"Wait." Temari suddenly found her tongue, and Chouji was more than happy to stop babbling on. Sakura's eyes now looked as though they were in serious risk of falling out of her head. "Wait. I must have just had a psychotic break with reality. You have to forgive me...somewhere in there, I must have misheard you. So, let me get this straight. You're dating Suri."

"Yes." Chouji felt as though Temari was either about to punch him or go get a knife. He had seen her in the quiet angry stage before, and it never usually ended well for the object of her ire.

"But this didn't start until after Kankurou and her broke up?" Temari went on slowly, and Chouji nodded once. She licked her lips and coughed before speaking again. "And Suri has a child that you are absolutely one hundred percent sure is Kankurou's?"

"Yes." he nodded, bit his lip, and then added helpfully. "Her name is Shizuka."

"And she's...Kankurou is the father?" Temari repeated, narrowing her eyes and leaning in, and Chouji opened his mouth to answer, but simply nodded instead, feeling worried about what she was going to do about this.

"Oh my god...I can't believe this!" Sakura shook her head back and forth quickly. "When did she have a baby?"

"Near the end of September," Chouji answered, turning to the much less terrifying pink-haired girl.

"Excuse me." Temari stood up very slowly, straightened herself majestically and strode out of the room. Chouji and Sakura watched her go before turning to each other.

"I still can't believe Suri and you have been dating in secret this whole time!" Sakura exclaimed. "No wonder you wouldn't tell us anything."

"Well, too late now." Chouji stood up, looked at the dinner he'd just started moving to the table. "Hey...could you take care of the rest of this? I better go tell Suri that everyone knows...she'll be worried."

"Don't worry about Temari! She may kick Kankurou's ass, but she definitely won't just snatch the baby away." Sakura assured him. "Oh! Now that we all know...do you think I could see her?"

"Shizuka?" Chouji blinked at her. "Um...I don't know, I'll have to see."

"Okay, but is she cute?" Sakura pressed, and he couldn't resist smiling at her enthusiasm. It cut through his fear and worry, and made him feel calmer almost at once.

"Yeah, she really is." he confirmed before leaving.

----------

"What's that?" Shiori had watched Temari enter the room with some interest, wanting to know what she would do about her brother and her ex beating each other bloody, and when she placed a vial under Kankurou's nose, she was understandably curious.

"You should leave." Temari didn't turn to issue her response, and at the sound of Kankurou gasping, Shiori supposed it must be smelling salts or something of the sort, which seemed like a funny thing for Temari to have, but it would seem she found use for it, after all. "Hey, hey, wake up!" she snapped at her brother, who blinked up at her in a disoriented fashion.

"Whas...ugh, my head." Kankurou grumbled, rubbing his eyes and wincing as he found his sister glaring down at him with a look that made it clear he had done something wrong, she knew about it, and was now going to yell at him for quite some time. "Uh...hey, what's up?"

"Do you remember," she began, her tone shrill and full of barely controlled anger, "when we had a talk about you and all the trouble you get into?"

"Which one?" he blinked at her and shifted, starting to remember how it was he came to be on the couch unconscious, not feeling very happy about it, but also knowing that flying into a fury was not really going to help the situation.

"The one where I told you to _always wear a condom!_" She smacked him over the head, and he yelped, not expecting the hit and also not expecting it to hurt quite so bad, but then again, he had just engaged in a rather intense fight against multiple opponents. "Idiot! You_ swore_! Swore you would never, _ever_ have anything like this happen, because I _told_ you I wasn't going to pay for it! And you _promised_ me you'd be careful, that I would never have to worry about allocating money for child support until _after _you had at least a divorce under your belt, and _now_ what's happening? What do you have to say for yourself?!"

"The hell..." Kankurou sat up sharply. "That's right...I was gonna fucking kill Chouji!"

"No, no, no!" Temari grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him down so hard he let out a sharp gasp. "No! The only homicide in this house is going to be committed by _me_ in about three minutes if you can't explain to me how it is that there is a _mini_ Kankurou running around after all the times you swore to me you would never ever father a bastard! That is the _one_ thing I asked, the _one_ thing I thought, surely, Kankurou can do _just_ this, right? I thought that asking you to keep your car out of the ocean or storefronts was a simple request, but no, I had to lower my expectations. Then I thought, at least asking him not to cost me thousands of dollars a year in legal fees and settlements, _that's_ certainly not too much to ask. But no, I've just had to get used to it. So this..._this_ was the last thing I thought, I figured, knowing how much you hated the idea of having children, what with them 'game killing' you, or whatever you say, I thought for sure! He'll do this, this _one_ thing, he understands how important it is not to just leave a trail of illegitimate children across the world like a sordid romance atlas! But _no_, yet again, you've proven to me that there is not a _single_ request I can make that you can live up to. And I know if there's one, there's got to be others! Suri was your _smart_ girlfriend, you've got to just have herds of little Kankurou's running around everywhere you've been, probably endeavoring to fuck up what's left of their mothers' lives that you left intact!"

"Hey!" Kankurou held up his hands defensively, feeling there was a very real risk that at any second, Temari would punch him, or pull a knife out of nowhere and just stab him. "Hey! Fuckin' A, be on my damn side for once! Chouji's fucking scamming my action, and you're in here fucking yelling at me about some kid that _probably_ isn't even mine, anyway! Probably fuckin' Chouji's fuckin' kid!"

"Are you kidding me?" Temari threw up her hands in exasperation, letting out a short, mirthless laugh. "Just because you couldn't keep yourself from sleeping with half the campus while you were _supposed_ to be dating her doesn't mean she was doing the same thing to _you_ behind your back! And you don't have _permanent _claim on her! Kankurou, if no one was allowed to ever be with anyone else after you, the overpopulation crisis would come to an end, and because of the flocks of _your_ progeny being all that's left, the entire population will go into a bottleneck and be extinct in three generations!"

"Don't try to fucking science talk me into submission, poli-sci!" Kankurou glared at her. "I'm a fucking engineering major! I could science your ass off!"

"Yeah, too bad you never took a class on the _science of using a goddamn condom_!" She yelled, slapping him for good measure and then turning in a huff, saw Shiori, and rather than recovering her calm, she pointed at the blonde as though about to curse her. "And I swear to god, if you're pregnant, I don't even want to hear it. Ever." she turned back the other way, saw Kiba, who had come around some time during her tirade, and was blinking at her warily, propped on his elbows, his face covered in bruises and cuts. "And you...you know what, I'd apologize for my brother kicking your ass so hard, but you know what, that's about the best thing he's done for me in the past twenty years, so you know what? I hope your face hurts like hell!" satisfied, she stormed out.

"Ha!" Kankurou pointed at Kiba, taking at least the last bit of the tirade as a compliment toward him, and certainly it had been against Kiba, which was better than all the rest of it, which had been aimed at him, including the bit about Shiori, who was looking extremely confused by what had just happened. Realizing that after all that had happened, it would be very likely that she would want to _talk_ about things, Kankurou thought fast. "Baby, let's get out of here, it's fucking crazy." he headed out of the room, and after a beat, Shiori gathered herself and after shrugging apologetically at Kiba, rushed out of the room. Kiba eased himself around so that he was sitting up fully and stretched, wincing at the pull against sore spots, then wincing again at how much his face _did_ hurt, after all.

_Even Kankurou had Shiori to watch over him, to wait for him to wake up...but not me. Temari wasn't even here for me, she just wanted to ream her brother out, and she didn't give a shit that he'd attacked me out of nowhere. You'd think she'd at least thank me for trying to help, for getting hurt in the process, but no._

It hurt to think that not one person had thought to sit with him, to make sure he'd be okay after the beating he'd taken. Kiba had thought that even after what happened with Hinata, at least he had his friends, and then things between Temari and him had grown to such a level that he had felt any left over pain healing and being left behind. But losing Temari...and knowing that he was so much at fault for what had ended things between them...

_It's like I can never really be happy. It's like...I can have as many friends as I want, but I'm kinda just...background in everyone's lives, and every time I try to have something that's just for me...what's the point of letting myself love someone if I'm just going to get hurt worse and worse every single time?_

It might have been stupid, but when he woke to the sound of Temari yelling at Kankurou, he had thought for a brief moment that in light of what had happened, seeing him injured, she had realized that she still loved him, had realized that he was still important to her, and was angry at her brother for hurting him...but it hadn't been that way at all. That seemed to be the one thing she wasn't angry at Kankurou about. Somehow, seeing her look at him without pity, without concern, without any remorse...that moment had hurt so much worse than all the small battles and explosive fights they'd been in recently, and it also seemed to fix his certainty about what was going on.

_Nothing. There's nothing that she feels for me anymore, except anger, she can't stand me. I can't believe I've fucked things up so badly...at least with Hinata we were able to be friends after everything, but Temari...she'd probably be happy if Kankurou had cracked my head open and killed me. Then she'd never have to look at me or talk to me ever again...and I think that's what she really wants._

It hurt to know that. He put a shaky hand over his face, afraid he might start crying, and not wanting anyone to see, even though he was alone for the moment. Had it hurt so badly when he lost Hinata? He wasn't sure. At least then, Temari had been there for him, his friend, but always...somehow more. Now, he felt so utterly alone, and the fact that he was in a house full of people he'd called his friends for the last four years of his life made that sting all the more bitter.

As he sat there, reflecting on the past, the mistakes he'd made and the things he had lost, he felt a sob bubble up inside of him and he tried to repress it, but once it broke through, he felt the sting of tears on his cuts, and he felt at the same time the relief of letting go, of letting the grief of this loss sweep over him completely.

Maybe the tears could wash away his pain, and make it so he'd never fall in love again. Because now...after everything, Kiba didn't think he would ever want to risk his heart again. It was too hard, and he always fell too deeply just to end up alone once more.

----------

"I'm sorry I kept this such a secret--"

"Please," Temari didn't look away from the infant in her arms as she answered, but she did smile softly. "I understand. You did what you thought was best, you were looking out for her."

"Told you it'd be okay." Chouji was sipping the tea that Suri had served for them, but that Temari had utterly ignored so far, her attention clearly focused on her niece. "Temari's good people."

"And...I don't want you to think I want anything," Suri was fidgeting quite a bit, possibly ashamed to have been found out, or possibly nervous about letting someone else hold her daughter. "I'm not going to file for support or anything...I mean, what happened, it was really my choice in the end...keeping her, I mean, and I don't think that your family is responsible financially for it just because..."

"If you think I'm not going to make sure this baby is provided for, you're fooling yourself." Temari looked up then, her cheeks pink with the happiness this meeting had given her. As soon as she'd decided not to castrate Kankurou, she had calmed down enough to ask Chouji if it would be possible for her to at least see her niece, and he had set the meeting up within a week. She was still furious with her older brother and his lack of responsibility, but it was hard to be annoyed when she was looking down into that tiny face. The baby had her father's eyes, Kankurou's eyes, and she could even see bits of herself reflected there, although she clearly looked more like her parents than her aunt. Still, it gave her a sweet pang in her chest to know that this child was her niece, and despite it being Kankurou's daughter, she was perfectly sweet and utterly adorable.

"I don't want you to think I need help." Suri shook her head stolidly. "If I didn't think I could do this, I wouldn't have kept her. The fact of the matter is...even though the situation wasn't great, the timing was really perfect. I finally got tenure, and even asking for maternity leave hasn't hurt my standing here. I'm secure and happy here, and when I realized I was pregnant...even knowing it was his, I decided that I really would like to have a child. Why question fate, right? So, I appreciate your concern, but I really don't need—"

"No, I insist." Temari nodded at her sharply. "She'll have a trust fund set up, of course. Don't feel like I'm giving you money, I'm just supporting my family. She won't even be able to access the funds until she's eighteen, so it isn't like I'm just dropping a bundle of money in your lap to buy your silence or whatever. And I know you can take care of her, but I really would feel better if you'd let me issue a monthly allowance, something, even if it isn't court ordered, I want her to be supported, that's all. And...and if I could visit her, and maybe sometimes...maybe she could come to see us...myself and Gaara, and her father, I mean...I would really appreciate that. I don't want you to think I'm going to take her from you, you're her mother, after all, but...it would mean a lot to me."

"I can't--" Suri began, but Chouji set his hand on her shoulder, gave her a look, and she took a breath, shrugging and nodding finally. "Okay...okay, that's fine."

"I'll have to tell my mother, also." Temari sighed at this. "She's...well, you never met her, but I doubt she'll take much interest in Shizuka, anyway. She may kill Kankurou for the disgrace, but I really don't think you'll have to deal with her, which is probably a good thing. She's a bit...much."

"I'd heard." Suri nodded, and unable to stop herself, reached out toward her child, whom Temari relinquished with obvious regret. This was going much better than she had thought. She'd always really liked Kankurou's sister, even though she'd been reasonably afraid of her. Temari was nothing if not strong-willed. "And...I mean, I'm fine with all that, but I really...don't know how comfortable I am with the idea of letting Kankurou see her. I mean, with you there, I'm sure it'd be fine, but you know...he's never been ever really..."

"I know." Temari nodded sharply. "I want you to know, the idea of Kankurou fathering anything at all is frankly terrifying to me, as well, but I think...maybe once he sees her, maybe he'll understand. Do you know what I'm trying to say?"

"I think so." Suri smiled down at her daughter and then up at her guest. "Really, I'm relieved. I was so worried about what would happen when you found out...I should have listened to Chouji."

"I'm always saying that." Chouji smiled into his tea and took another sip, happy to see everything going so well, as he had expected it would.

"And I'm glad you're with her, Chouji," Temari offered, a teasing grin on her face. "She deserves someone who will treat her right after having to date Kankurou." he didn't answer, but his cheeks reddened as he stared at his teacup self-consciously. Suri giggled and rocked her child without thinking about it, exchanging a knowing glance with Temari.

"So, how is Kiba?" she asked, and Chouji choked, coughing and slopping tea on his hand so that she turned to him in concern, thus missing the way that Temari's face went completely ashen at the question. By the time she looked back, the blonde woman had composed her features into a blank mask, and Chouji apologized as he continued to cough, recovering himself.

"Sorry...hadn't really..." he coughed again. "Really told her...about that."

"What?" Suri blinked at Chouji and then turned back to Temari. "Am I missing something?"

"Kiba and her aren't really..." Chouji was clearly struggling with how best to say this. "Not dating anymore."

"Oh...oh!" Now it was Suri's turn to look embarrassed, and she made a show of brushing a dark lock of hair to one side of Shizuka's face as the baby blinked at her solemnly. "Sorry! I didn't realize. I've really fallen out of touch, haven't I?"

"It's quite alright." Temari gave a stiff nod. "These things happen."

"Still...I thought you two were so good together!" Suri flushed deeply, realizing this was probably the worst thing she could say. "I'm sorry! I don't even know what happened, but you're right...things like that _do_ happen. Don't worry! I'm sure everything will work out for the best! I know I'm happier now, but when Kankurou and I split, I was so angry, so miserable..."

"Sorry, Temari," Chouji apologized again. "I didn't think it was really my place to tell her about it...you know."

"It's okay, you needn't apologize over and over again," Temari stood up in a mechanical fashion, the traces of her earlier happiness gone. "It isn't as though I'm so vulnerable I can't bear to talk about it. It's over and done with, and I'm quite...quite fine."

"Right." Chouji's voice held a trace of disbelief, but Temari ignored it, inclining her head to them both as she picked up her purse and coat.

"I'd better be off, then." she told them in the same blank tone she'd been using since Kiba had been brought up. "Pleasure to see you again, Suri, and to meet my niece...I'll call you soon with more particulars on...on everything we discussed."

"Please, you don't need to rush off," Suri insisted, but she couldn't help the relief that seeped into her voice. It had been nice to see Temari, but the other woman had always been able to switch on a dime, and her sudden shift of mood was making Suri worry that she might change her mind about other things, as well. It was better if she left while they were still on good terms.

"No, no, I just remembered...I have somewhere to be." she gave them both a thoroughly unconvincing smile as Chouji stood to show her to the door. "Sorry to leave so suddenly, I'll be in touch."

"Yeah," Chouji sighed heavily as he closed the door and turned to his worried girlfriend. "She's _clearly_ over it."

----------

To be continued...


	22. Chapter 22

If I Fall

Chapter 22

----------

"Gaara!" Temari intercepted her brother as he was getting a glass of water, "I told you that Suri's bringing the baby over, right?"

"Mm," he managed around his mouthful of water, shrugging.

"Okay, because I really want you to meet your niece, okay?" Temari clutched the hand that wasn't holding the water, and he blinked at her after swallowing.

"Okay, that's fine." he told her calmly. "Why are you being weird?"

"I'm not! I just really want you to meet her!" Temari looked as though she was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. "So...so just be good, okay! Just...don't stay in your room all night with Neji doing...you know."

"Suri already knows about that." Gaara pointed out. "I don't think she would care that I like to have sex with my boyfriend. We were always doing that back when she was dating Kankurou, anyways."

"No! Just...just because, okay." Temari squeezed his hand so hard he felt her nails and he arched his brow at her in question before simply nodding and staring at her until she dropped his hand because her phone was ringing and she had to answer it. Gaara frowned at her once more before going back to his room, feeling intensely suspicious, but not knowing what to say about it if she wasn't going to be more straightforward with him. Considering the things that had happened in the house recently, she could be acting odd because she was nervous about Suri coming over, but she could also be thinking about Kiba or something. Gaara didn't think it was worth it to force an answer out of her, he had his own problems and wasn't sure he was the best person to be counseling anyone at the moment.

"Hey! Hey Kankurou!" Temari steeled herself and headed down the stairs, yelling louder than could possibly be necessary so that Kiba wouldn't think she was going to the basement for him, but her show was for nothing, since he didn't seem to be around at the moment. "Kankurou?" she passed the couch, trying not to look around for Kiba's things, which were not visible in the area, but then again, she hadn't been down here since he had taken up residence on the couch, so maybe he kept them over behind the dryer or something.

And anyways, she didn't care. Really. It wasn't like she wanted to take one of his shirts or something, or to see if he had a picture of her shoved under his pillow or anything like that. She was just naturally curious about anything going on in her house with anyone living there.

"What?" Kankurou opened the door in his boxers, and Temari made a face at him as she saw Shiori pulling her shirt on behind him. "I'm kinda busy, ya know."

"I'm just trying to remind you that your _daughter_ is going to be over for dinner tonight. Incidentally, it is _your_ dinner night, try to make it nice." she leaned in and lowered her tone. "I asked Suri to stay for dinner, so I expect you to actually behave. And don't bring Shiori, it wouldn't be appropriate."

"Fucking fine," Kankurou stepped out, possibly to spare Shiori's feelings if she overheard, which was surprisingly sensitive for him. "So then that fucker she's with isn't going to be there, is he?"

"I'm sorry...you mean Chouji, your neighbor?" Temari narrowed her eyes at him. "Of _course_ Chouji's eating dinner here. He _lives_ here."

"That's bullshit! Why's she allowed to have a date and I'm not?" Kankurou threw up his hands and padded toward the dryer, pulling clothes out and clutching them in an armload.

_So...not sparing her feelings...just getting his clothes._

"Because it's different." Temari answered simply. "Because I said. And you have to wear pants."

"Why, so she doesn't go mad with lust and try to jump me?" Kankurou waggled his eyebrows, standing in his doorway with the armload of clothes.

"Yeah, that's likely," she snorted. "No, because your _daughter_ will be there, and you need to be a good example. Try for once in your life to imagine what it would be like to be responsible and upstanding, then do that."

"She's like fucking two months old, she's not going to freaking notice if I'm wearing pants or whatever." Kankurou shook his head, tossing his clothes on the floor. Shiori gave them a look before stepping around the clothes, fishing her shoes out of the pile, and moving into the den to brush out her hair. "Although she probably _would_ notice that Shiori's a way hotter date than fucking Chouji the girlfriend stealer."

"Okay, first of all, you're not bringing her to dinner, and that's final." Temari hissed at him. "Second, it isn't a competition, try to act like an adult for once. And third, for him to steal her, she has to still be dating you, which she _wasn't_."

"Yeah, but she had my fucking kid." Kankurou's face darkened. "Or so she claims."

"Oh for fuck's sake, I'm done with you." Temari threw up her hands. "Oh, and while I'm down here, can you answer your phone once in a while? Mother keeps calling _me_ because you won't pick up, and I don't feel like I should have to sit through the lectures considering I never knocked anyone up."

"Mom can suck my dick if she thinks I'm putting up with her damn preachy bullshit." Kankurou grumbled, but at Temari's glare, he subsided, shuffling his feet slightly.

"And can you tell Kiba not to come to dinner drunk or do anything else stupid?" she tacked on unnecessarily, and certainly not because she was annoyed that she hadn't seen Kiba since yesterday. "Because I'd rather he not scar my niece for life on top of all the other shit he's done."

"Oh, no worries there," Kankurou gestured to the couch. "Lonely Hearts Couch is vacant again, didn't you notice?"

Temari tried to act like her stomach hadn't just fallen through the floor. "What?" she asked in what she felt was a very calm voice.

"He left this morning, said he finally got a place to stay and just took off." Kankurou shrugged and then blinked. "Didn't you know?"

"If I knew, would I be asking?" Temari asked him, her tone sharper than it needed to be, mostly because she had just now learned this, and from Kankurou of all people. "Well...that's good. I told him to move out ages ago, finally he does something I tell him to. Did he say he got a dorm room, or what?"

"Well shit, I didn't have fucking twenty questions exit interview or whatever, I just saw him with his shit leaving, asked if he was moving out finally, and he said yeah." Kankurou recounted. "End of story. I don't see why you're so concerned, I thought you said you hoped he fell off a cliff and saved you the trouble of feeding his cheating ass."

"I _don't_ care." Temari turned up her nose. "I was just curious."

"Yeah, that's totally different." Kankurou rolled his eyes. "Well shit, if you're so fucking _curious_, just call him. He's got his phone still, number's the same. Don't see why you have to bug me about it."

"I _don't_ care!" Temari stomped to emphasize her point and then stormed back upstairs, annoyed at Kankurou, annoyed at Shiori sitting there placidly brushing her hair out on the couch and pretending not to overhear everything, and especially annoyed with Kiba. Why would he stay around nearly two months after she told him to leave and then suddenly go without saying anything...to anyone?

_To me._

If she was being honest with herself, that was what really surprised her. He hadn't said anything about finally leaving. She hadn't seen a letter from him crammed under her door jamb or taped to the door, and he hadn't even texted her or emailed. After two years, and he was going to leave, just like that? She had actually started to think...the way he was sticking around, she thought maybe he was going to try to win her back, do _something_. She wasn't sure what, and she refused to think she would have caved to that sort of thing, but still...she had been expecting it. Instead, he left without a word, without any effort to really win her back. How was it fair that Kankurou, who screwed up everything, got out of things with Suri because of his own behavior and got a child, but she was left with nothing, and she hadn't ever even done anything wrong! Well, certainly she'd been a bit hard on Kiba at times, and she knew she could be stubborn and hard to handle at times, but at least she'd never cheated on _him_.

_Why am I worried? Like I want to be stuck with his dumb baby._

But really...even though she'd changed a lot in the last four years, there were some things that weren't any different. She still wanted children of her own to raise, and she _had_ dreamed of having them with Kiba. Was that so crazy to think, after two years together? She hadn't thought so, but then everything had fallen apart, and while before, watching Aki made her think of what it would be like when _they_ had their own daughter, now she kept thinking she'd never have children, because she certainly didn't seem to be able to find a man capable of a serious relationship. Tenten was pregnant, Hinata and Sakura were trying for their first as far as she knew, and Ino was already on child number two. It was so unfair! Kankurou, the least responsible person she knew, was the last person she thought deserved to have a child of his own, and yet...here she was alone and childless, and he already had a new girlfriend _and_ a daughter.

_Why am I being punished because of something_ he_ did?_

But then again...it was her decision not to forgive him, not to listen to his reasoning, and to end things between them. It wasn't fair that her choices came down to this, and she didn't want to think about it anymore. Just then, the doorbell rang, and she looked at her watch in surprise. Only four o'clock? What was Suri here so early for? At least seeing her niece would take her mind off things for the moment, she assumed. Bracing herself to smile, she opened the door and let out an odd squawking noise.

"Well, that is attractive." The woman in the doorway was not Suri, and was not anyone that Temari had expected to see anytime soon, especially considering the last she'd known, this woman was halfway across the world on some pleasure cruise. "Did your father teach you to greet people with that noise? Or did you pick it up here? And what _are_ you wearing? My dear, it is no wonder you have yet to find yourself a husband." Temari flushed to her roots. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, not anything she considered too nice, but her clothes _were_ clean. It was always like this, these meetings. Which reminded her why she avoided them so carefully.

"Mother." she pursed her lips and gestured inside. "Do come in. I was not expecting you."

"That is still no excuse to look like such a ragamuffin." she shook her head in disapproval and came in, holding out her coat, which Temari took herself, considering there wasn't exactly anyone else in the vicinity to do it. "And answering the door yourself? Where is the help?"

"Oh, I let them have the day off." Temari couldn't stop the snarky response before it was out, and at her mother's sharp look, she forced a bitter smile. "Mother, I am at college, not exactly in a pampered home for young people. I have learned to take care of myself here."

"To _some_ extent." her mother eyed her clothes distastefully again after Temari hung up the coat and turned back to her. "Which is more than I can say for that son of mine. Where is he, then?"

"He's--" Temari almost told her, but then she pictured her mother walking downstairs, seeing Kankurou in his boxers with Shiori, or even worse, doing things he shouldn't be out on the couch, which was all too likely. She was mad at Kankurou, but she didn't want him to die just yet, and she really didn't think it was fair to expose poor Shiori to that. "I'm not sure. Why don't you have a seat in the living room, and I'll find him for you."

"Very well." her mother nodded, but then looked at her expectantly, so Temari had no choice but to lead her to a chair in the living room before she would sit. "Do you have lemon for the tea?"

"There--" she stopped herself again, just short of saying she wasn't getting any tea. It wasn't worth it, and it would just make her more difficult to handle. "I will look, but I can't be sure."

"Imagine living like this." her mother picked up the remote between gloved fingers as though it was filthy. "Exhilarating, I'm sure."

_Great, because I wasn't stressed out enough, I need her here._ Temari heaved a sigh as she went to the kitchen and began to heat some water, taking great pleasure in putting the cheapest bagged tea she had in a cup and giving the crisper in the refrigerator a cursory glance before she'd decided there were no lemons and that she probably subconsciously avoided them out of the fact that the smell of lemon in tea had always reminded her of her mother.

_Oh god...I'll have to warn..._ she froze as she realized that she was thinking of how she would warn Kiba about her mother, when she realized that it was pointless, considering he wasn't there, and even if he was, it was nothing to do with her. Not anymore.

_That doesn't make the ache any less..._

Suddenly, as she poured the tea, she remembered that first time she'd had tea together with him, back after Hinata's wedding, her terrified he was going to try something, him silent and solemn throughout it all. In the end, he'd hugged her and cried, as though with that cup of tea, and with those tears, he was purging himself of every memory of the previous two years, of every iota of love and regret he felt when it came to Hinata, leaving his heart open to her. _And that's why...seeing him with her hurt worse than anything else he could have done. I could have walked in on him and Gaara and it wouldn't have cut me as deeply. I know that others...others have forgiven similar things, but how can they know what it feels like? The only person who ever really understood how I felt is gone now._

_And I drove him away._

She stirred from her thoughts as the shrieking sound of the kettle caught her attention, and she moved to pour the tea. However, the shrieking continued even with the kettle in her hand, and she realized belatedly that it was the sound of her mother, and she let the kettle clatter back down on the stove as she raced out of the kitchen, toward the sound. Her mother was standing in Gaara's doorway, and Temari blanched as she realized the door was open, and that since it was unlike her mother to knock before snooping into other rooms, it was also very likely that she had witnessed something that happened quite often. As she ran over, Neji, not even bothering to cover himself at all, came out of the room just enough to wrest the doorknob from her grip and pull it shut with a resounding slam. Temari sighed heavily as her mother went silent with shock and then turned on her, face pale but for two spots of color high in her cheeks.

"That...that thing was in there...engaging in lewd acts with...with..." she sputtered, unable to gather herself enough for a proper rant.

"Mother, this isn't your house, if you open doors without knocking, you will see things you might not want to see." Temari told her, patience thin and the old sting of her mother's "nickname" for Gaara hurting more sharply than she'd remembered. "And his name is Gaara. He's my brother, and I would appreciate if you would treat him like a human being."

"He...that was another man!" Temari's mother seemed to be unsure of her anger and unsure of whether Temari grasped the situation fully. She took her mother by the arm and steered her toward the kitchen.

"Yes, Neji and Gaara have been together over three years now, nearly since we first started college." Temari decided it wasn't worth exploring any more deeply than that. Anyone who refused to call Gaara by his name wasn't going to be dignified with explanations of his choices and actions, as far as she was concerned. However, as she forced her mother into a chair and went to the kitchen for the tea, she couldn't help adding. "He's very happy, and I'm pleased with that more than anything, I think."

"He's always been a beast, a base-born home-wrecking--" Temari slammed the tea down hard enough it slopped over the table and she ignored the feeling of it scalding her own hand.

"If I've told you once, I have told you a thousand times, mother." she gritted, very nearly surprised with her own ability to stand up to her mother. She had never been weak, but this was different, this was something that had been instilled in her since the beginning. "If you can't talk about Gaara without being derogatory and cruel, then it isn't something I wish to discuss with you. Your inability to forgive him for our father's actions with his mother is completely irrational and utterly without forgiveness. He wasn't conceived out of malicious intent to cause a scandal for _you_."

"Temari, child." her mother's eyes narrowed, her voice frosty. "There is so much you do not understand, and it is likely you never will if you continue the way you have been going. I assume you are still terminally single?"

"Mother, my personal life is my business, and whether or not I was dating someone, you would likely never know until the rest of the world did, since I would never subject anyone I love to your tender mercies voluntarily." Temari hissed. It would have been a lot more satisfying if things between Kiba and her hadn't fallen apart so recently, had she not discovered his disappearance from her home and most likely her life only that day. "Will that be all?"

"Get your brother." she retorted, a bit of the venom drained from her voice by the surprise of Temari's defenses, much stronger than the last time she'd faced off against her daughter.

"Fine." Temari stormed out of the room, blinking back tears at the hurt and shock her mother's appearance and cruelty was causing her to feel. She had always felt that the difference between her mother's expectations and her father's expectations lie in her belief that whatever she might do, her father would still love her and that her mother was as likely to toss her away as she was to offer one of her lectures if Temari disappointed her too much. It was hard to care about someone so vicious and so cold. Even as a small child, she could not remember once being embraced by her mother, but the feel of her father's hug was something she could still recall if she tried.

_Sometimes...I'm glad that she left. I'm glad she found out about father and Gaara's mother and divorced him. When I try to think of what it would have been like to grow up with her in the same house as me all the time..._

Bounding down the stairs, she was briefly relieved not to see Kankurou and Shiori engaging in anything but video games. Well, Kankurou was avidly trying to get past a boss in some game Temari wasn't sure she even recognized, despite Kiba's repeated attempts to tutor her on video gaming basics, and Shiori was quietly reading a book on the other side of the couch. They weren't touching at all, which seemed odd to Temari, after the number of times she'd seen other couples on the couch playing video games and cuddling up to each other, but she supposed it might be hard for Kankurou to play with Shiori under his arm, not least of all because it would make holding a controller much more difficult.

"Hey," she called out, and Kankurou jumped as though caught doing something wrong. "Mom's here. She wants to see you."

"Ha, nice try," his hand-in-the-cookie-jar expression faded and he laughed at her words, turning back to his game. "I'll call her later, get off my case about it."

"No, I'm not kidding." she repeated. "She's upstairs right now, and she's just as horrible as ever." Temari insisted. "And she walked in on Neji and Gaara, so she's in a great mood."

"What the hell? Why would she do that?" Kankurou's face scrunched up in what was most likely a combination of fear and disgust. "Were they in the bathroom again?"

"No, she's just a nosy bitch." she blinked and took in the blonde on the couch watching them both. "I haven't told her about Shiori. That will be your job."

"Oh, joy." Kankurou grumbled, tossing down his controller and stretching his arms as he stood. "Like it's any of her damn business who I'm getting it from."

"Just go deal with it; I shouldn't have to put up with her. I haven't had any illegitimate children this year, much less ever." she snapped at him irritably. "And don't think this means you get out of making dinner."

"Such a bitch..." Kankurou grumbled as he headed upstairs. Temari chose to believe he was referring to their mother and let him go to his fate. After all, he had made the decisions that had led him here.

----------

"I'm sorry, that was...who, now?" Neji asked, deciding that since Gaara was no longer in the mood to do anything like what they had been doing when the middle-aged woman had barged in on them, he most vehemently hated her.

"Temari and Kankurou's mother," Gaara repeated. "My father's wife before she left him when she found out about my mother."

"Oh, I heard she was a bitch." Neji prompted when his lover lapsed into silence, picking at invisible lint as he sat on the corner of the bed, naked but covered partially by the sheets.

"She hates me." Gaara answered softly. "Because of what I am."

"What you are?" Neji scowled. He was starting to suspect he might have to injure this woman, or at least expel her from the house.

"A beast...a monster...a horrible thing....at least, that's what she's always said..." Gaara looked up, his expression somehow contrite, as though he was asking Neji's forgiveness for things this woman had said to him. "A curse...because of me, Temari and Kankurou lost their mother, and my own mother died."

"Hey!" Neji scowled, trying to hold in the fury he felt at how this woman affected him, and how she clearly felt about him. No doubt she was at least partially to blame for all of his various hang-ups, not to mention the guilt issues. "That isn't your fault, none of that is. _She_ chose to leave, and then she chose to barely ever visit her children. And your mother...that just happened. You didn't make it so that she would die."

"I killed her..." Gaara dropped his gaze again, and a shudder rippled through his frame, usually so strong and sturdy, and now seeming so ephemeral and frail. "I didn't know her at all, I never will, and it's because I killed her. That's what made everything bad...made my uncle go so crazy, do those things to me..."

"Gaara, no," Neji moved so that he was in front of his lover and knelt there, reaching long fingered hands out to tilt up the gently curved face, unsurprised to see moisture in mint-green eyes. "Gaara, look at me."

"I know what you're going to say...I know, but even if it sounds nice to hear it isn't my fault...if I had never been born, my mother would still be alive...so would my uncle, and Temari and Kankurou could have had their mother; she might never have found out, and I know that things are better now than they ever were for me, but I wonder...seeing her always makes me wonder how many lives were ruined by me, and even now...even now that woman makes me feel the same way." Gaara let out a shuddering sob and sniffled slightly. "I take and take, even with Naruto...I forget how selfish I am until her face reminds me of what I cost everyone. He just wanted to be with Sasuke, but I was more concerned with what I wanted, and I held onto him too tightly...I know I hurt him and now things will never go back to how they were. Everything I touch is destroyed, I can't--"

"No, that isn't what I was going to say," Neji couldn't take it anymore, so he cut in. "I was going to ask you if I'm a bad person, because my mother is also dead. She died giving birth to me, just as yours did. Remember? You know that, and so if you're saying you killed your own mother, then I killed mine. And to be honest, I'm pretty sure the world is better off without your pervert uncle, and from what I've heard of her, I doubt Kankurou and Temari were too sad to see their mother leave. And you didn't hurt Naruto, he made those choices, too. The thing that hurts him is that he had to give up that closeness if he wanted to avoid problems with Sasuke. You did let him go, too, even if you didn't want to."

"But I still--"

"No, don't." Neji had a single tear track rolling down his cheek, and the sight of it, more than his words, cut Gaara off. "Don't blame yourself. Don't take it all on, whatever that woman says, you can't control everything around you. And even if everything you did touch was destroyed, it's my job to help you fix it, to make it better. Don't talk about your life like its an inconvenience. Your life is everything to me, and I won't let you devalue it or take it away." Neji leaned in, kissing his forehead, fingers clutching his face still, his voice cracking. "I love you so much, how can you think you're so worthless when I would do anything for you? Are you really trying to say my feelings mean nothing at all?"

"N...no." Gaara capitulated then, letting himself fall into Neji's arms, and they curled up on the bed together, both of them still naked, part of a sheet tangled between them as Neji held him and kissed him, their tears mingling as they both took comfort in each other and slowly felt their aches ease in each others' arms.

"Want me to kick her ass for you?" Neji asked after Gaara's sniffling had faded away and been replaced by the reassuring sound of his breathing deepening as he dozed off.

At the words, Gaara chuckled, and Neji kissed him again. He hadn't really been joking, but that was okay.

----------

"Suri, I'm glad I got to you first," Temari stepped out on the porch rather than letting her guest in, causing the woman to give her a rather odd look as she shifted Shizuka in her arms. "Okay, I swear that I didn't plan this, but my mother is here right now, and I don't want you to have to deal with that if you don't feel...up to it." she explained. "I think Kankurou's getting reamed out by her right now or something, I sent him to talk to her like half an hour ago so--" she stopped herself and looked at something behind Suri with such an expression of disbelief that the other woman couldn't help turning around to see what it was. "Where were you? What is _that_?"

"Fuck, you're the one saying I was in charge of dinner." Kankurou didn't even bother to acknowledge Suri initially, but it was clear from the look on his face that he most certainly recognized her and was trying his best to stay calm and cool to the best of his abilities. "It's fucking pizza."

"First of all, I told you to make something _nice_, since we have guests," Temari indicated Suri and the child in her arms. "Second, there is no way our mother will touch that stuff, much less eat it. And third, I thought you were busy getting told off by her! I sent you upstairs, but not _that_ long ago."

"I figured she'd be more reasonable after she had something to eat." Kankurou told her sagely. "So I snuck out and got food. She's probably just bugging everyone, that's like her favorite thing to do. Probably doesn't even notice I haven't been by."

"Oh my god...she's been alone and unsupervised that _whole_ time?!" Temari clapped hands to her face, took a moment to quell her panic and turned her ire back on her brother. "Fine, make it worse if you want it that way. She's just going to give you hell when you try and get her to eat pizza. You know she says it's peasant food. And you know, if you're avoiding mother, you could at least say hello to Suri and your _daughter_. They just got here, I was warning her about how mom can be."

"Hey," Kankurou struck as cool of a pose as he felt necessary and possible while holding a stack of pizza boxes in front of him. "That the kid?"

"No, you idiot, that's a baby she borrowed from someone else for a test run." Temari smacked his head and twisted his ear, pulling him toward the front door. "Stop being _you_ and go see our mother like you were _supposed _to ages ago! And let her know the pizza was _your_ idea. I'm not taking blame for this."

"Fuck, fine," Kankurou struggled to get the doorknob and Temari had to open it for him, somewhat negating the affect of her rough treatment earlier. "Geez, it's no fucking wonder whose kid _you_ are." she kneed him hard enough to push him through the open door but not so hard he'd fall and ruin dinner before she turned to Suri and flushed.

"Sorry." she shook her head and threw up her hands to show how overwhelmed she was feeling at the moment.

"Yeah, well, I dated him, I'm kinda used to it." Suri heaved a sigh. "Look, if now's a bad time, I could always come back, I don't want to stress you out."

"And you can damn well_ sta_y out." Sasuke opened the door at that moment and physically shoved Temari's mother onto the porch, blinked at Temari and Suri and then frowned. "You two coming in or what? This bitch is banned, but you're both fine."

"Oh, thanks, I'm allowed in my own house." Temari turned to her mother, aghast. "What did you _do_?"

"You know her?" Sasuke crossed his arms and scowled. "She was in the kitchen yelling at Naruto. She's not allowed back in."

"She was...what the hell was _Naruto_ doing?" She turned from Sasuke to her mother, who was looking rather prim and dignified for someone who had nearly been thrown out the door moments earlier. "Mother, were you harassing my house mates?"

"Oh man, this is bitchin'" Kankurou, having set down his pizzas, had returned to watch his mother being kicked out of the house. He was feeling rather jubilant about this, as it meant he would not have to suffer her lectures for the moment.

"She was yelling at him and calling him a bad influence...amongst other things." Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the woman. "I don't care who she is, she is not welcome here if that's the way she's going to act."

"She's my mother," Temari reiterated and turned toward Sasuke once more. "She's...like that. I'm sorry, I didn't realize she was unsupervised, I'd sent Kankurou to speak to her and he snuck out. Is Naruto okay?"

"He's fine, just surprised." Kankurou offered. "Guess he was giving Aki a piggy-back ride and mom thought he was her dad or something."

"How _many_ bastard children are living in this pit?" Temari's mother cut in, and Temari gave her a seething look. "Is that one Kankurou's, then?"

"Aki? No, her parents both live here, and they're married, so lay off, mother." Temari snapped at her. "We all watch her, though. _This_ is your grandchild, though if you can't act like a human being around it, this is going to be as close as you ever get," she gestured to the child in Suri's arms.

"Why would I want anything to do with it?" she gave Suri an appraising look. "It's just a mistake, Kankurou will have real children when he's matured and found someone suitable."

"Hey! There's nothing wrong with Suri!" Kankurou surprised everyone by shoving past Sasuke to confront his mother. However, as soon as her glare was turned on him, he quailed and attempted to hide behind Temari, who had to stop herself from laughing at his brief attack of courage. "I mean...if it had worked out...you don't know...not that it matters...but I'm just saying...you don't know..."

"Yeah, good job, Kankurou," Temari heaved a sigh. "Mother, if you would like to come back in the house, you're going to have to apologize to Sasuke _and_ to Naruto, and you're going to have to behave civilly toward _everyone_. If you want to leave right now, I don't think anyone here would be sad to see you go."

"Such and ungrateful child..." she shook her head, lips pursed in a thin line. "When I think of all I sacrificed, all I did for you--"

"Mother, the most you do for us is have a secretary send us cards on the holidays." Temari cut in. "Father raised us, and whatever your problems with him were, you need to remember that at least _he_ didn't abandon us to the whims of the world. You know, I was terrified at the thought of Kankurou actually being a father, but at least there's no chance he could ever be any worse a parent than you."

"Let me make myself clear." Temari's mother recovered after a minute and her shocked expression became a superior look once more. "I have nothing to apologize for, and if anything, I should be the one accepting apologies. I was a fabulous mother, and if you were both horrendous and ungrateful children, then I have your father to blame for that. Kankurou, I was here to give you advice, how you could avoid having to handle this...indiscretion for years in the future, but since your sister thinks she's so much better than me, let _her_ worry about signing the support checks. I'm appalled at what I've seen here. The state of this house, of your clothes and the way you live, and the sordid acts of that beast with his--"

"Don't!" Temari lunged forward so fast no one could have stopped her and slapped her mother so hard it left an angry red mark on her pallid cheek. "Don't you start in on Gaara again! He's more family to me than you've ever been, and if you think I'd let Kankurou listen to you...telling him to abandon his child...what is _wrong_ with you? Just leave, and don't let me see you around here again. I have no need of your brand of _support_, and I doubt I ever will, so just _go_."

"As if I'd stay _here_." Temari's mother clearly couldn't resist having the last word as she spun on her heel and stormed away, pulling out her phone as she went, likely to call her driver.

"Let's go inside in case she changes her mind." Kankurou suggested. "And lock the door."

"Thanks for the back up, there." Temari ushered everyone else on the porch back inside and Sasuke shut the door behind them. Naruto was in the foyer a bit further back, Aki in the crook of his arm and a bewildered expression on his face.

"Hey, you seemed to have it under control." Kankurou sighed. "Too bad Gaara missed it. Damn, she's such a bitch to him all the time, woulda done him good to see her knocked down like eighty pegs. That was freaking awesome."

"Thanks." Temari felt a little guilty, as she was sure you were meant to after so thoroughly telling off your own mother, but she wasn't really concerned with that woman's feelings, when she thought about it. "Sorry about my mother, Naruto. Did she get really bad?"

"Well...I mean, I'd probably have been more upset if I knew what she was talking about, but mostly I just thought some unusually well-dressed townie had got in the house, and then Sasuke saw her...yeah." Naruto flushed. "I hope he didn't hurt her."

"Yes, what a tragedy _that_ would be." Sasuke shook his head and turned to Temari seriously. "Look, I didn't realize she was your mother, but you don't have to apologize for her fucking crazy behavior. You can't help who your family is."

"Yeah, and if anyone knows that for sure, it's Sasuke." Kankurou cracked, and both Temari and Sasuke shot him a look that immediately silenced him.

"Hey...Suri?" Naruto peered around his housemates and saw the woman quietly holding a baby. "Is that...that's your daughter, right?" he scurried over to everyone's amusement, clearly long past any ill-effects of the undeserved scolding he'd just received. "Oh, she's so cute, even though she does look a little like Kankurou--"

"Hey!" Kankurou protested, but no one was really paying attention to him as Naruto hovered over Suri and Shizuka, Aki blinking solemnly at the younger child from his arms as though trying to figure out where this child would place in her social strata.

"Can I hold her?" Naruto asked Suri, then looked pleadingly at Temari, as though she somehow had a say in these things.

"Well, you can only hold one kid at a time," Temari pointed out, nodding at Aki. "But it's up to Suri, really."

"And me! It's up to me!" Kankurou was clearly annoyed at being ignored.

"This from 'you don't even know for sure it's mine?'" Temari leveled a glare at him and he flushed in frustrated embarrassment at the comment as well as the aghast look Suri shot him. "Sorry, Suri, I didn't mean--"

"No, no, I should have expected how he must have reacted." Suri sighed heavily as Naruto put Aki into the bemused Sasuke's arms and turned back to her hopefully as both Aki and Sasuke gave the blonde such looks of nearly identical disgust that she almost forgot to be annoyed and had to repress a smile as she handed Shizuka over cautiously. "Just be careful with her," she couldn't stop herself hovering, though she'd seen Naruto holding Aki a million times since the toddler had been just an infant, and she knew that he was trustworthy. Still...this was different.

"Hey, that's not fair! I'm her dad, I should get to hold her before freaking Naruto!" Kankurou was annoyed that he wasn't the center of this interaction considering the amount of flack he'd received from Temari already over this. He deserved the _good_ side of things if he was going to put up with her nagging and accusations, but he wasn't even being allowed to hold his own child! Never mind that he hadn't know this child existed for the first months of her life, if Temari was going to give it money and give him those _looks_ all the time, and if he was going to have to _not_ kick the crap out of Chouji for dating Suri, then really he should at least be fawned over like Naruto was being at the moment. Ladies loved guys holding babies. Not that there were any ladies around at the moment besides Suri and Temari, and neither of them really counted, but still.

So unfair.

"Hey guys, what's for dinner?" Ino came bounding down the stairs, hair bouncing in a ponytail and her face lit up when she saw the visitors. "Oh! Suri's over! Is that the baby?" she bounced over, clapping her hands together and leaning over Naruto. "Aww, let me hold her!"

"It's _my _baby." Kankurou grumbled.

"Go get dinner ready, idiot." Temari turned away from Shizuka and Naruto long enough to flick his ear and shove him toward the kitchen, and he left, glancing at Suri to see if she seemed to notice his departure, or even his presence at all.

_It doesn't matter, I don't care. I have a way hotter, younger girlfriend now._

That cheered him slightly, and he set out plates and napkins, opening up the boxes and then snuck around the growing group in the foyer chatting with Suri and admiring Shizuka to creep downstairs and retrieve Shiori, feeling that he had suffered enough this evening, and if he wanted to ignore Temari's instructions, that was up to him. She was still reading her book, looking completely fine with the fact that she'd been left alone for over an hour with no expectation of when he might return, but that was one of the things he enjoyed about her. She was fun when he wanted, and she wasn't too clingy or demanding. Usually a couple months in was when the girl started to want promises and declarations of love, but Shiori seemed utterly content with the relationship as it was.

"Come on, dinner," he clomped over to her loudly so she wouldn't be surprised when he grabbed her shoulder. "Got some pizza."

"I thought Temari said I shouldn't come up for dinner." Shiori glanced up. Kankurou was surprised to see that she honestly didn't look upset at this, just curious. "Isn't your ex over with your kid?"

"Oh, yeah, well it's okay. It's just pizza, you can come grab some, it's not like a seven course banquet or anything fancy ass like that." Kankurou assured her, leaning over for a kiss, and she responded perfunctorily, holding the place in her book before shrugging, marking it and standing up.

"Should I get Chouji?" she asked, and Kankurou groaned, realizing that acting like dinner wasn't a big deal and then refusing to bring up his roommate because he didn't want to see him with Suri would basically negate this meant he was trapped him in a no-win situation. However, if he had to choose, he'd rather have Shiori up there the whole time than not at all, since Chouji was bound to come up at some point.

"Chouji! Dinner!" he grabbed Shiori's hand and pulled her up the stairs quickly enough that she protested the rough treatment by the time they were back up.

"Geez, you probably sprained my wrist...I'm sure there will still be pizza, you don't need to--" Shiori rubbed her abused hand as he made a great show of putting an arm around her and kissing her temple before beaming at the crowd around Temari, who was now holding Shizuka.

"Well, we're gonna get some dinner," he spoke loudly when he realized no one had noticed his entrance, and he watched Suri to see if she would look up, notice him somehow or show a reaction of some sort, "Shiori and me. My girlfriend."

"Then _go_," Temari glanced up from the bundle in her arms apparently too distracted by the baby to remember she'd said for him not to bring Shiori up for dinner. Suri glanced over, and her expression was shielded, but not necessarily devastated. Kankurou was annoyed. He pulled Shiori toward the kitchen, and this time she followed swiftly, either because she was uncomfortable being in the room with his ex and his baby or because she didn't want her wrist being strained any further.

"Does everyone know it's time for dinner?" she asked him as she carefully placed a slice of pizza on a plate for herself. "I could go get the others. I mean, obviously everyone out there knows, but--"

"I don't care about those fuckers." Kankurou grumbled, clearly not in the greatest mood. Shiori pursed her lips and eyed the plate he was holding with four slices of pizza on it.

"Hungry?" she asked, handing him a paper napkin which he eyed distastefully before he went to the dining room, taking his time to choose a seat from which he could survey what was happening in the foyer without seeming overly suspicious.

"Hn." he shrugged and crammed a slice in his mouth, getting sauce and cheese everywhere and wincing as he burned the roof of his mouth. "Uck!" he cursed with his mouth full of pizza.

"Whatever, I'm going to let everyone know dinner's ready." she set her plate down and left him to his own devices, but he wasn't that concerned with her departure now that he was focused on seeing Suri, seeing how she looked, seeing if she seemed like maybe...maybe she missed him.

_Not that I miss her. Shiori's younger and hotter. And Shiori lets me do what I want. If she found out I was cheating on her, she'd probably just give me that look that's all like "why do I care?" That's why...she's way better. I don't miss Suri at all._

_But sometimes...maybe it's cool to have someone care. Sometimes I'm not sure why Shiori's with me. I know I don't really love her...and I don't think she cares, I don't think she loves me either._

It was something that was hard to think about too carefully, since it meant he had to examine his feelings, he had to think about what he wanted from her, had to think about what he was willing to give, and why he'd been willing to do so much more for Suri. And he still remembered Temari saying he was hung up on Suri, that everything crazy he did was just an attempt for him to forget her.

He didn't want to think about it, because he didn't want it to be true.

"Like anyone wants her damn advice...she sucks at dating." he grumbled and blew on the pizza he was holding before attempting another bite. He glanced back out into the foyer as he chewed on the suddenly flavorless food, seeing Chouji with his arm resting on Suri's waist while they both talked to Naruto about something. There was a flash of jealous rage, but it wasn't as bad as it had been before, when he first found out that his roommate had been dating his ex for a while now. At that time, he hadn't been able to think of anything besides how badly he wanted to beat the stuffing out of Chouji. Now...he still wanted to punch him, but it wasn't something he couldn't hold in, like before.

_And what's with Suri? Looking at him like that...like she's happy, after all those times she said she loved me. What the fuck? If she ever really did love me so much, how can she look at him like that? She could be with me..._

No, that wasn't right. He didn't want her back, and even if she begged...even if she'd come to him after she found out she was pregnant and said they'd have to work it out for the baby's sake...he didn't care about any of that, he didn't want that sort of a life. Especially not with Suri. She was so controlling, not like Shiori. Shiori didn't care what he did, didn't want to hear him say he loved her, the way Suri had. Shiori probably would get rid of it if she found out she was pregnant. In fact, maybe Suri had gotten pregnant on purpose! She was getting older, maybe she'd wanted a kid.

_She never cared about me, she just wanted that fucking kid. Thinks I won't do anything, won't try to be a dad or whatever. Probably thinks I don't give a shit about anything. Well, I'll show her!_

He tossed down the partially eaten slice of pizza and stood up, going back into the foyer and noting with a twinge of satisfaction that at least Chouji seemed to notice him. He drew a bit closer to Suri, as though concerned Kankurou would try to take her away bodily.

"Can I hold my fucking kid now?" he demanded, and Temari, who was still holding her gave him a look that suddenly liquefied his spine and made him forget his anger in the face of the very real fear that Temari would have him killed. "I...I mean...she's...could I?"

"Kankurou, I want you to know that it is a crime against humanity that _you_, of all people, were allowed to reproduce." Temari finally spoke, her tone clearly annoyed, but despite her words she stepped forward and held the small child out for him. "I hope you prove me wrong."

"Th...thanks." he reached out, feeling oddly weak as he carefully arranged the small baby in his arms. He'd held Aki before, he knew how it was done, but somehow...this was different. He couldn't understand why she was so small, and those eyes...those were _his_ eyes staring out of that tiny face.

_Fuck me._

Very suddenly, and without any warning, Kankurou felt his heart clench, felt his mind go clear and calm, and it seemed to him that everyone else faded away. He knew they were speaking, he knew Chouji was asking him something, could see the flash of Naruto's hair out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't look up from his daughter's face. He realized that despite all his posturing, despite everything he'd said and done in the past, _this_ was the only thing that really mattered, when it came down to it.

She was definitely his daughter, he could feel that much right away.

And he loved her at once, more than he'd ever loved anyone, more than he knew he could.

----------

To be continued...


	23. Chapter 23

If I Fall

Chapter 23

----------

"Kankurou, are you all right?" Temari couldn't take it anymore. Ever since dinner, Kankurou had been acting decidedly off. He was quiet, and had barely even cussed or said anything inappropriate. Was he that upset to see Suri and Chouji together? But then, he'd gone around her and had Shiori eat with all of them, so Temari thought he'd be up to his usual tricks. However, he had actually been rather well behaved and hadn't said one thing about Chouji and Suri, and even more surprisingly, nothing about Shiori and her superior girlfriend ways, which was what Temari had been expecting. Now, Suri had left with Chouji and Shizuka, and Kankurou was sitting on his own in the living room, staring at nothing with a thoughtful expression on his face. Shiori had already gone home for the night, probably giving her boyfriend up as a bad job. "Did you hit your head or something?"

"Huh?" he blinked and turned, took a moment to take in who was speaking to him and shook his head distractedly. "Uh, nothing, sorry."

"What? Did you even hear what I asked?" she scowled at him. Being concerned about Kankurou was far better than thinking about where Kiba had gone and why he had left so suddenly after so much delay.

"Shit, I'm not psychic." he grumbled halfheartedly, and Temari realized with horror that hearing him curse was actually reassuring to her. "Whatever, I'm fine. Is that what you want?"

"You just seem really out of it." Temari sat on the couch so she could speak to him more easily, and he scowled as he realized she wasn't going anywhere. "Was it that hard to see them together?"

"Who? Oh, that." Kankurou shook his head briskly. "Yeah, I guess. But it's like, she seems to like him, and I've already got a new girlfriend, so nothing I can really do about it."

"I'm not suggesting you should break them up, Kankurou." Temari told him, her voice tight. "You had your chance with Suri and you fucked up. Chouji and her are together now, so you shouldn't interfere, you should let them try to just be happy together. Anyway, weren't you just telling me earlier how much better you liked Shiori."

"You don't understand." he fiddled with the hem of his shirt and glanced at her as though curious to see her reaction. "I love her."

"Well, she's your girlfriend. Try treating her properly and you won't--"

"No, not _her_." Kankurou shook his head, annoyed. "I mean, Shiori's cool and all, but we aren't like that."

"Um." Temari tried to think of what to say to that. "But...you're dating her, right?"

"I'm saying Shizuka," Kankurou waved her concerns about Shiori aside. "I love _her_."

"She's your daughter." Temari blinked at him, a little surprised that Kankurou would say something like that, something almost mature. "You're meant to love her. Dad loved all of us. Even you."

"You're such a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?" Kankurou scowled at her and she couldn't help laughing. "It's fucking crazy, you don't know. I don't know anything about her, I mean, she can't even talk or do anything. How the fuck do I give a shit about her?"

"Because," Temari repeated. "She's your daughter."

"But I don't get to be her dad." he frowned down at his hands. "Not really."

"Yes you do!" Temari insisted. "Just because Suri and you aren't together doesn't mean you can't care for your daughter!"

"Yeah, but like..." Kankurou gave her an earnest expression then, and Temari felt honestly bad for him. He really did love Shizuka, she could see from his face, and even before then, he'd been hung up on Suri. This was clearly headed for disaster. "I'm like mom."

"What do you mean?" she asked patiently.

"Well, like, dad raised us, right?" Kankurou began hesitantly and Temari nodded when he glanced at her quickly once more. "So I mean, he's the one who was like, our _real_ parent. And mom was just like, this fucking crazy bitch who would come around sometimes to raise hell and be pissy. I mean, you're saying of course I love Shizuka, right? So that means she must love us, right? But did you ever really think she gave two shits about us? Cause I pretty much always assumed all she cared about was how good we could make her look, and how much she could use us to piss dad off. I never really thought of her like...like really as a parent, you know?"

"I know," Temari moved closer to him and put her hand over one of his. "I know, but Kankurou, that wasn't because she wasn't living with us. You can be a great father to Shizuka as long as you just love her. Mother...has serious problems, and while I'm sure somewhere deep down she does love us, she has a really hard time showing that. Don't let yourself become afraid of your feelings, or then you really could be like her, and I know you don't want that. Just learn to trust your heart, okay? I know that's not macho or whatever, but if you can do that, you'll be a great father."

"Do you...really think that?" Kankurou gave her a surprised look, and Temari flushed, feeling guilty for always giving him such a hard time.

"You aren't like her." she assured him. "You're your own person, and I know you can make the right choices. Maybe...maybe this is a good thing. You've always done whatever you felt like without really thinking about the consequences, but now that she's in the picture, I think you'll really...really show me how grown up you've become."

"Thanks." he put his other hand over hers and squeezed. They shared a smile, and for the first time in what felt like ages, Temari felt genuinely happy. "Can't believe _you_ of all people are telling me to trust my fucking heart, though."

"Hey," she flushed and pulled away, straightening her back indignantly. "I think, if anything, I'm only guilty of trusting it _too_ much."

"Yeah right." Kankurou gave her a long, considering look before he stood and stretched. "You know, people make mistakes. I make them all the fucking time, and you haven't written me off yet."

"You're my brother," Temari knew what this was about, and she felt terrified and angry all at the same time. How did Kankurou presume to give her relationship advice? "It's completely different."

"Yeah, I'm family, right?" he gave her a long look. "Only thing is, I bet if you asked Gaara who he thought of as family, you and I wouldn't be the only ones in this house on the list."

"Kankurou..." she could feel her chest tightening, and for a moment she thought she might actually start crying here in front of her brother.

"Look, you're a total pain in the ass sometimes," he told her. "But even though I hate to hear it, the things you tell me are things I usually need to hear." he bent over so he was eye level with her. "You're fucking miserable, everyone knows it, and we all know you miss him. I think about the only person who doesn't think you want him back is him. So just swallow your damn pride for once in your self-righteous life and let him know he isn't the only one willing to compromise. I already kicked the crap out of him, but I think what you're doing is hurting him worse. So fucking give in or get over it. I'm sick of your moping." and with that, he left her alone, shocked at what had just happened. She certainly hadn't expected that conversation.

----------

"I love you," Gaara moved very slowly against Neji, nuzzling his throat and enjoying the silky feel of the sheet of hair that fell there and the soft heat of the throat underneath that.

"Mm, that feels nice," Neji sighed and tilted back his chin to allow Gaara better access as he began covering the skin he was encountering with soft, sucking kisses.

Gaara had decided when he woke up that morning that since he had only one final left and it wasn't until tomorrow, he was going to take it easy today. He would devote a couple hours to studying this afternoon, but right now it was still early, and he was determined to stay in bed with Neji until noon. Suri was dropping off Shizuka to be watched at some point today, and he was very nervous of his niece, as though he hadn't spent the past three years becoming accustomed to interacting with children by way of Aki. He felt that if he spent a few hours in bed with Neji, he would be too relaxed and happy to be nervous.

Also, there was something irresistible about Neji in the morning, the way his silver eyes seemed unable to really focus, making him look more ethereal than ever, his hair tangling between them, his limbs warm and heavy with sleep. Although...now that he thought about it, Gaara found Neji irresistible basically any time of day. But that was beside the point.

"How about this?" Gaara slipped a hand between them and squeezed Neji softly, causing the other man to let out a soft moan. Just that noise was enough to bring Gaara from semi-hard to completely ready, but he wanted to take his time. Sometimes it was better drawn out like this, even though in a way it could feel like torture. He shifted his body, wrapping a leg over Neji's waist so that they pressed together, his hand trapped between them, working Neji slowly, patiently. He knew where he was going, there was no rush to hurry up and get there. He'd miss the good parts if he went too fast, and that would defeat the purpose of dedicating from now until noon to this one thing.

"Ah...Gaara," Neji's body moved against his, and the heat grew between them until it was almost unbearable, and Gaara could feel himself leaking, his hands shaking as he reached behind Neji and began to prepare him, slowly, carefully. "Please...please..." he could see that Neji was feeling the need to hurry toward the end as much as he was at this point, and Gaara kissed him long and deep as he moved his fingers, trying to distract him, trying to prolong this as much as possible. He pulled away after he couldn't stand it anymore and moved a pillow to prop up Neji's hips so that he would be more comfortable for however long Gaara could make this last.

_Not much longer if I can't stop shaking like this._

He breathed in deeply, arranging a completely pliable Neji amongst the bedding so that he was cushioned, so that his head wouldn't knock against the headboard, so that they could make love slowly. He did this as fastidiously as possible, and by the time he was satisfied, they were both breathing a bit easier, and he could see that he'd stopped trembling. Leaning down, he kissed Neji long and hard and reached for the bottle of lube he'd set on the nightstand while he'd been prepping Neji, just to have his fingers tremble at the worst moment and send it skittering down to the ground.

"Fuck me," Neji's words could have been either curse or invitation, and his tone was ambiguous enough that rather than being embarrassed at his clumsiness, Gaara was just turned on.

"Don't worry, I will," he gave a smug grin that made Neji's eyes glaze over, and they both lunged over the bed to try and find the erstwhile bottle. Gaara grasped it first, but when he turned to Neji, triumph in his eyes, the other man looked suddenly panicked.

"Is today Wednesday?" he asked suddenly, and Gaara was dumbfounded. Was this some new game? He nodded, not sure what was expected of him here, and figuring the truth couldn't lead him far wrong. "Oh fuck me!" Neji sprang out of bed still completely hard and began pulling on clothes in such a rush his shirt ended up inside out, and accidentally put on a pair of Gaara's underwear instead of his own. Gaara was in shock. "Fuck! Fuck! I thought I'd set the alarm!"

"What..." Gaara blinked at him, beginning to have a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"I'm supposed to be giving a final presentation _right now_." Neji glanced at the clock as he pulled on his shoes in such a rush he only got them on the right feet by sheer luck. "Well, I was supposed to start ten minutes ago. Fuck!" he leaped to his feet, stomping once to secure his shoes in place and lunged forward, kissing Gaara so hungrily it only made the redhead that much more annoyed that they weren't going to be having sex right now. "Sorry, love you, I'll be back in maybe an hour. Maybe longer." and with that, he rushed out, leaving Gaara alone, extremely aroused, and extremely disappointed. He felt a sudden irrational surge of hatred toward whichever professor had decided that now would be a good time for a final.

He glared down at his erection, which didn't seem to understand it had just received a rain check and resigned himself to masturbation. If he sat here waiting for an hour, he would probably be too tender to do _anything_ when Neji got back. It was quick and unsatisfying, and even after ten minutes he was still half-hard, so Gaara sighed heavily and got dressed, because he was hungry and annoyed and horny, and there was only one of those things he could do anything about immediately. It took him three different pairs of pants before he was satisfied that no one would be able to tell he was having a problem, and while he was sure it was more paranoia than anything, he was pretty sure he could do without having his sister see him walk around in that state. Taking a deep breath, he left his room and went into the kitchen, where he was greeted with the sight of Sasuke and Naruto making out by the coffee maker, a steaming cup near where Sasuke's hand forgotten in favor of his blonde lover.

Gaara felt whatever composure he'd regained flee, a surge of heat washing over him, and he let out a strangled noise that was nearly a sob of frustration before turning around and running to his room, slamming the door shut and trying not to see the scene he'd just witnessed when he closed his eyes. Unfortunately, his mind was more than willing to supply memories of _other_ times, times before and during when they had all shared each other, and he whimpered at the pain of being trapped in pants that were suddenly much too tight. Sexual frustration was not something that Gaara had to deal with normally, and he wasn't sure what to do to distract himself until Neji came back home, so he pulled off the restrictive pants and climbed back into bed, trying to decide whether it was better to attempt to fall asleep, or if he should work himself off again. He was considering this against the possibility of having to wait longer to recover and be ready for Neji again. But then again, even if he wasn't hard right away, it wouldn't be a problem, he could always let Neji top if that was the case. Poor Neji, he must be doing much worse, not even being able to take the time to work himself off before having to go do his presentation.

Gaara reached down and grasped himself firmly, pressing his face into Neji's pillow, and was just entertaining a rather nice fantasy of storming into the presentation and taking Neji up against a blackboard when there was a knock on the door. He froze momentarily, but by this time he was quite used to having people knock while Neji and him were in the midst of private activities, so it didn't affect his arousal at all to know that there was someone outside the door. "Go away." his voice was a bit scratchy, but he didn't think it was too obvious what he was up to.

"Gaara, please let me in," at the sound of Naruto's voice, Gaara felt a pulse of heat sweep over him and his hand squeezed involuntarily, causing him to let out a strangled groan. "Gaara, I don't want you to get upset every time you see--"

"Please go away!" Gaara's voice was tight, and it cracked as he clenched his other hand in the comforter that was covering him. This was really not a good time for him to be talking to Naruto. There was a long silence and he let his hand continue moving, closing his eyes again. Now his fantasy had become a bit more elaborate. For some reason Naruto and Sasuke had been in the room for the presentation, and they were coming forward to join in.

"I'm coming in." Naruto's voice caused him to freeze again, but in the context of what he was doing, of what he had been thinking about, it certainly did nothing to help resolve his problem. If anything, the thought of being caught this way, while seeming horrifying to the rational portion of his mind, just excited him at this point.

"N—no!" he managed a strangled protest before the door opened and Naruto peered in, clearly thinking that it was possible that Neji and him could have been up to something in there, despite him not having heard Neji tell him to leave. Gaara pulled the comforter up over his head and rolled himself into the mattress not wanting Naruto to see his flushed skin and know what he'd been doing, letting go of his erection and concentrating with all of his power on willing it into submission. "Go away...I can't..." he wasn't even able to form coherent protests, his face still buried in Neji's pillow, and he heard the door close, but at the shuffling noise near him, he knew that Naruto was still there. "Please..." he wasn't sure what he would do if Naruto climbed into the bed with him, and it certainly wouldn't be unlikely for Naruto to do just that.

"Gaara..." Naruto's tone was soft and warm and sad all at once, and Gaara felt heat surge through him once more as the mattress shifted slightly. Even without looking, he could tell exactly where Naruto was on the bed, probably sitting there and looking down at the lump of Gaara hidden under the blanket and wanting to make him feel better.

_Well, he could make me feel better, but not how he thinks._

Gaara banished the errant thought and tried to calm himself, tried to make his body obey him. Now was _not_ the time to be desperately turned on. Now was the time to be calm and reasonable. He considered pinching himself to make it stop, but knowing that he was usually turned on by moderate amounts of pain meant that would likely only make it worse.

"Please, I didn't mean for you to see us." Naruto's voice was thick with emotion, and Gaara felt himself trembling, trying to keep himself still, trying not to think of the things he could do right now if Naruto were willing. "I don't want you to be upset by us being together...please, I know it's hard, but there must be some way we can get through this. I can't bear the thought that I'm hurting you, Gaara."

_He thinks I'm jealous or something._

Sometimes he did feel jealous of Sasuke, but right now, he was not really that concerned with Sasuke. Right now, he was using every ounce of restraint he had to stop from jumping Naruto, and if the other man got any closer to him, he doubted he'd be able to hold out. He felt the burning heat between his legs throb, not at all discouraged to find itself pressed into the mattress as though Gaara could somehow suffocate his desire.

"Don't be mad at me, Gaara, please." Naruto made a noise that sounded horribly like a sob, and fell against him, clutching at the blanket wrapped form as he pleaded. "Please, I love you, I don't want you to be sad, I don't know what I'm supposed to do!"

"Fuck." Gaara gritted, because he was turning toward Naruto, he could feel it happening but he couldn't stop himself, it was too far past the point of resistance for him to bother anymore. "I'm sorry...can't..." he managed to choke those words out as he pulled Naruto under the blanket and hugged him so tight he thought he heard the blonde's spine pop, heard Naruto make a surprised noise as he no doubt felt Gaara's hard, dripping length press against him, and before he could say anything further they were kissing and Gaara's hands were pulling Naruto's pants down with a frenzied need that had been building all morning. "Fuck!" he pinned the surprised blonde beneath him without bothering himself with foreplay. Naruto's body had responded to his need at once, and whether it was because he'd just been pressing himself against Sasuke or because he honestly still wanted to be with Gaara despite what he'd said didn't really matter to the redhead at this point. Still, while he held both wrists down with one hand, he reached down with the other to stretch him out a little while he continued kissing Naruto so hard he could taste blood. Naruto was making some rather interesting noises and writhing beneath him, and that all suited Gaara just fine. The wriggling and the surprised little gasps were just making him more excited, and he took his fingers out, plunging himself into that familiar heat as Naruto made a choking noise and bucked wildly against him until Gaara thought it would take everything he had to last through two minutes of this. He released Naruto's mouth and moved within him, holding the blonde's wrists down as he plunged into him deep and hard, biting his neck and grunting at the amazing feeling of the blonde beneath him. He'd never been this rough with Naruto, he'd never been able to make himself let go so much with anyone but Neji. Even with Sasuke, who he admittedly wasn't that afraid of hurting, he'd been more restrained than this.

But then, he'd had a very long morning, and if Naruto was going to tantalize him that way when he needed it so bad...so bad...

"Gaara," the voice was very composed on the surface, but it was the edge of panic he could detect that caused him to pause, the taste of blood still in his mouth, his shaft deep in Naruto, his fingers like vices on the other man's wrists. "Please stop." his voice cracked slightly, and Gaara felt a crushing wave of panic as he lifted himself enough to see that Naruto was crying, his lip bleeding, his face blotchy, and his fingers clenching as he forced himself to stop struggling, since it was clearly having no effect. "Please. You're...hurting me."

Gaara could see the pain in those blue eyes, could see from his face that what he'd taken for enthusiasm had been a panicked attempt to escape, and while Naruto had responded to him in some ways, he could hardly be held responsible for that, as it wasn't entirely voluntary, and it hadn't been so long since they'd been lovers. And in that moment Gaara felt all his desire shrivel and disappear completely as he felt terror and disgust wash over him in overwhelming succession as he began trembling all over again, but this time it had nothing to do with desire.

"I...what did I do?" Gaara's voice sounded odd to Naruto, who wasn't really that badly hurt, more scared than anything. Now that he could see that Gaara was stopping, he felt relief so strongly that he smiled reassuringly at the redhead, shifting so the now flaccid member would fall out of him and wriggling his arms so that Gaara would let go of his wrists. He'd been holding them so tight Naruto thought he might have bruises. "Oh my god...oh my god...I...oh fuck..." Gaara pulled away from him so fast it was as if he was afraid of Naruto attacking _him_ instead, and fell out of the bed with a loud thump. Naruto, overwhelmed by surprise at what had been happening, relief that Gaara hadn't been mad at him, and now even more surprised he'd been able to stop Gaara when he had been so completely...wild. He'd seen flashes of that side before, but never so strong, and while it wouldn't have bothered him before they had put an end to the arrangement, it obviously wasn't something they should be doing now, but he could see, now that he wasn't terrified and trapped underneath him, how Gaara, always ruled by his impulses had reacted so violently when he'd interrupted him in the middle of something like that, especially since he would be lying if he said that he thought Gaara didn't want him anymore. To be frank, it hadn't been bad at all, but knowing how Sasuke would have reacted to seeing such a scene had made him desperate to put a stop to it, and he might have scared Gaara a little.

"Gaara, calm down, it felt good mostly, it was just that I can't--" Naruto clambered to the edge of the bed while recovering his pants and gasped when he was just in time to see Gaara vomit and fall over in a shuddering mass. "Geez, Gaara!" Naruto struggled into his pants while he clambered out of the bed and looked around, grabbing a robe and pulling the violently trembling man to his feet. He was paler than Naruto had ever sen him, and there was some vomit on him, but Naruto wasn't sure what to do about that at the moment. He bit his lip and looked around some more, picked up a discarded shirt and used it to wipe Gaara off before putting the robe on him. This was all made more difficult by the fact that Gaara seemed to be afraid of touching him, and was trembling and jerking and gibbering senselessly under his breath. "Gaara, calm down, you need to calm down. I'm fine, it wasn't like you think. You didn't really hurt me, not really." Naruto's words didn't seem to have any effect on the redhead, who kept trying to pull away from him, and despite the situation, Naruto was almost relieved when he heard the door open, as he still hadn't managed to tie the robe closed, and he wasn't sure it was really family friendly for him to have Gaara walk mostly naked to the bathroom to get cleaned off.

"I hope you're happy, I had to hold a notebook in front of me the whole time you dirty cock-tease..." Neji's voice trailed off as he closed the door and saw Naruto and Gaara struggling at the end of the bed, his nose scrunching up at the smell of fresh vomit, and a flash of simultaneous anger and confusion washing over him to see his half-naked lover in the middle of some sort of physical fight with Naruto. He wasn't sure what the hell was going on or why there was vomit on the floor, or what Naruto was trying to get Gaara to do, but it was very clear that Gaara didn't want the blonde near him, and that was good enough for Neji. "What are you doing to him?!" he immediately intervened, pulling them apart, shoving Naruto away and attempting to pull Gaara to him protectively, but he was rewarded for his efforts with a strangled yelp and a panicked Gaara scrabbling at his chest to get away from him and then just biting his arm, which surprised Neji so much he released him at once, letting his lover, who was breathing in a very weird way stagger away from them both, eyes unfocused and glassy, face pale and skin like ice. "What the _hell_ did you do to him?" Neji turned on Naruto at once, who was looking more relieved to see Neji than anything else. "He looks fucking _terrified_. What did you do?!" he rushed at the blonde who suddenly seemed to see that Neji was not necessarily going to save him, since as far as he was concerned, whatever was going on was caused by the blonde, and he would make sure it was repaid in kind.

"No, I didn't!" Naruto held up his hands, wishing suddenly that Sasuke had come with him to see if Gaara was okay, but he'd had to run to a final. That would have stopped any of this from happening. He had certainly been frightened that Gaara was going to just continue whatever Naruto said, but as guilty as it made him to realize it, he was more afraid that Sasuke would somehow know what was going on and catch them at it than he was worried about Gaara having sex with him in general. But really, it wasn't as if it had never happened before. "I didn't do anything! I mean, well, I did, but I didn't mean to! But he was...you know, and he just...just came at me, and I didn't know what to do and then he was already...and I tried to fight him but he's really _strong_ and he was holding me down and then...then when he realized, he just flipped out!" Naruto realized after finishing all this that it very likely made absolutely no sense to Neji, who was still looking ready to beat him senseless for upsetting Gaara.

"You better say something that makes sense in the next ten seconds or I'm going to pound your face in." Neji told him, his voice deadly calm. Naruto's eyes widened in fright. This was not something he'd ever encountered before with Neji. He knew, in theory, that Neji was very protective of his lover, that he was extremely attached to him, that he loved him dearly, but Gaara wasn't really the easiest person to hurt, so he supposed that was why he'd never had occasion to see Neji ready to take someone down for upsetting the redhead. He really didn't want to be here to see it, much less to be the focus of the cold rage. It was amazing to know that Neji, who over the years had become quite close to Naruto and had seemed to him someone who would always be there for him no matter what, could turn so completely against him because he thought that Naruto had hurt Gaara somehow.

But then...if he tried to think about how he would feel if someone hurt Sasuke, how Sasuke might feel if someone hurt him...it didn't seem that unbelievable anymore.

"Okay, okay, I was in the kitchen with Sasuke." Naruto flushed brilliantly, and tried to tell himself now was not the time for modesty. "I was...wishing him luck for his final and we were...were kissing and stuff and then Gaara saw us and he looked really upset and I thought he was crying or something, and he ran back in here and so I was worried. So Sasuke went for his test, and I came in to talk to Gaara...make sure everything was okay, and he was all...all huddled under the covers, so I still thought he was upset, that he was crying or something, and I felt horrible, and so I came over to try and get him to talk to me, to tell him I didn't mean to upset him and that if we needed to work out something, like rules about where and when Sasuke and I could...could kiss and stuff, then we could do that--"

"Would you get to the goddamn point?" Neji stomped sharply, and the noise as well as the spots of color on his normally creamy face reminded Naruto that the other man was not happy with him, and was only holding himself back from kicking his ass because he wanted to know what he'd done. Possibly to make the beating that much more satisfying.

"Sorry! But so I was just there, see, and he was shaking all over and I really thought he was upset so I tried to hug him and he just...just turned around, and he grabbed me, and he was totally...well, he just started kissing me and pulled my pants off, and I freaked, because we're not...not supposed to do that sort of thing, and I realized that he hadn't been crying at all, and I could see what was going to happen, so I tried to get away, but he was really...really...I mean, you know how he gets sometimes when he just has to...has to do something and it's like he can't even see you or hear you because he's so--"

"Yes, I know," Neji was starting to suspect that he might not be kicking Naruto's ass, as this was sounding like if anyone had been attacked, it had been the blonde. "So then?"

"So he was...well, he was so fast and so...and before I knew it he was...was in me and I was freaking out because I just realized he wasn't going to stop at all, and I couldn't get away from him, and if Sasuke saw us, he'd flip out and I didn't even _start_ it. Well, not on purpose. And then I decided I'd just try to be really calm with him, like maybe that would work, and it did, but then as soon as he came to his senses and realized what he'd been doing...well, I mean you know how he is about...about forcing..."

"Yes, I know." Neji repeated, his tone much different from how it had been before Naruto started explaining.

"And he just...just lost it. He couldn't get away from me fast enough, and then he puked and I wasn't really sure what to do, and he's just...been like that, and he doesn't want me to touch him. I don't know if he thinks I'm going to hurt him or if he thinks he's going to hurt me, or what." Naruto's face screwed up as the adrenaline drained from him. He could see Neji no longer wanted to beat him up, and now that he was here, Naruto didn't feel like he had to stay strong for Gaara's sake. Neji would take care of him. "I'm sorry...I should have just let him...I mean, it wasn't like it was bad, but I was so worried Sasuke would see us or know or something and I panicked. I told him he was hurting me...I shouldn't have said that."

"Did he hurt you?" Neji glanced at the redhead quivering on the ground over by the closet, his robe left carelessly open before looking back at Naruto with concern.

"No...I mean I'll probably have bruises, and he bit me, but he didn't...I mean, not really." Naruto let out a mirthless laugh. "He even took the time to...well, so when he got in me it wasn't..."

"Yeah, he can do that amazingly fast when he wants to." Neji offered a tight smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't...I didn't realize."

"You don't have to apologize, if it had been Sasuke and you I would have reacted the same way." Naruto felt relief seep through him and wiped at the tears he could feel welling up now that he was letting the stress of the situation actually hit him. "I just can't believe...I mean, he's never been so...like that with me."

"He's protective of you." Neji's voice was soft. "I'm glad you're okay. I'll take care of him."

"If you're going to clean him, I can clean up...over there." Naruto pointed at the vomit and Neji gave a tight nod, even though he felt this was his job, his responsibility, he wanted to let Naruto do what he wanted especially after what he'd gone through. It was amazing he wasn't terrified of Gaara, that he wanted to help him after what had just happened. Sure, Neji could see someone like Naruto forgiving Gaara eventually, but to see so quickly what was going on, to so readily accept that Gaara had not meant to hurt him, had not realized he was doing anything wrong, Neji saw now just how deeply Naruto trusted and understood Gaara. And for that, he was grateful. If he could calm Gaara down, he would most certainly want Naruto's forgiveness, would most certainly hate the thought of the blonde fearing him, so anything Neji could say or do to reinforce that Gaara would never intentionally hurt him, or to make Naruto feel like Gaara needed him...Neji would do that. "And...can you not say anything about this to Sasuke?"

"Sure." Neji nodded, blinking in surprise as he realized that now, Naruto was trying to protect Gaara. Typical. "But if you're going to tell him...could you let me know? It's nearly winter break, I've only got one more paper to turn in and Gaara's got a final tomorrow, but after that...well, we could go away. Give Sasuke time to cool down."

"Um...yeah." Naruto blinked momentarily, thinking it over. "Yeah, I should really tell him. I don't want him to find out some other way. I'll need a day or two anyway, to figure out how...how to tell him so he doesn't freak out."

"It doesn't matter how you tell him, he won't be happy." Neji assured him, and on impulse, he reached out, hugging Naruto tightly. "Sorry I got so intense. And I hope you'll stay near Gaara, he really cares about you."

"I know, you can tell he's more freaked out than I was, even." Naruto wiped the tears away. "I'm sorry...I'm still a little worn out from it...it was really...not what I expected to happen to me this morning, you know?"

"I know." Neji turned and Naruto left to get something to clean the floor while Neji tried to decide how best to approach his lover, who he now realized was in serious risk of hyperventilating if he didn't calm down. He hoped Naruto gave him time to get Gaara out of here, because he didn't think seeing the blonde was really helping Gaara at the moment, and he was thinking that Gaara was having some sort of panic attack, because he was acting very odd. "Gaara, look at me," he walked toward him slowly, and when he was two feet away he knelt on the ground, not wanting to tower over him and panic him further. "Look right at me. Look at my eyes. You know me, don't you? Everything is going to be okay." Gaara was watching him doubtfully, but his breathing had slowed slightly, and while he was still trembling as though he had gone into shock, Neji thought this was an improvement. He presented his hands slowly, holding them up and turning them over so that Gaara could see he wasn't holding anything. "Here are my hands. Can you grab hold of them? I'm not going to hurt you, I just want you to hold onto my hands."

Gaara blinked at him as though not able to focus on him properly, bit his lip, and looked at the outstretched hands before arching his brows and giving Neji a confused look that nearly broke his heart and making a quiet snuffling noise, two fat tears rolling down his cheeks. The urge to lean in, to wrap his arms around him and hold him close was nearly too much for him to resist, but since the last time he'd grabbed Gaara he had only scared him so badly he'd been willing to _bite_ him to escape, he really didn't want to head down that road again.

"It's me, it's Neji." he kept his tone calm, hiding his growing distress at Gaara's reaction to what had happened between Naruto and him. "You can trust me. It's going to be okay. Let's get up and get cleaned off. Would you like that?" Gaara's breathing hitched, and he raised a trembling hand, placing his icy fingers in Neji's very warily. Neji smiled at him as brilliantly as he could, and Gaara's expression lost the haunted look, but rather than looking normal, his face seemed to go totally blank. He stared at Neji, waiting for a command, and so Neji gently pulled him to his feet, and while carefully maintaining eye contact, reached down to swiftly shut the robe. "Good job. Now let's go get clean." While he slowly led him to the bathroom, Neji was wondering how long Gaara was going to stay in this dazed state, and hoping that he was remembering right that Gaara didn't have any more finals until tomorrow, because he didn't exactly look ready to ace any tests at the moment. "Here we go, stand right here." Neji reached around him and closed the door once he'd reached the destination, and tried to decide how to proceed. He wasn't comfortable leaving Gaara alone while he was like this, but he wasn't sure how Gaara would react if he started taking his clothes off to get in the shower with him, but then again, he seemed to be very biddable at the moment, so it might be that the initial panic had passed and now he was just being unresponsive and placid.

_Well, if he's still freaked out, I'm sure he'll show it if I take his robe off, since it all started with sex._ Neji surmised, and doing his best to look calm and reassuring, he reached forward and pulled the tie open, letting the robe fall open. Gaara stared at him throughout this without any real reaction, violent or otherwise, so Neji slowly moved both hands to Gaara's shoulders and twitched the fabric up and over, letting the robe fall to the ground.

Gaara blinked at him, seemingly totally unconcerned with his change from naked to robed back to naked again in the space of the past twenty minutes. The look on his face was vacant, and it scared Neji more than a little to see him this way. He had thought Gaara's old default blank expression had been unreadable, but that had been positively expressive next to this. He looked as though he was a doll, and Neji couldn't stop himself looking down at his chest to be sure he was breathing. He was suddenly tempted to take a bath, to sit close to him and wrap his arms around him, let him lay back against him, encircle him completely, but he wasn't sure how Gaara would react to that much contact, and if he started panicking in here with wet floors and such it could be rather dangerous. He told himself he'd settle for the shower, but that afterward, they would go lay down together, and he would see if Gaara wouldn't let him hold him then.

_Although that's not going to happen either, unless I can do this,_ he reached down and slowly began unbuttoning and unzipping his pants before sliding them down to the ground while watching Gaara for any sign that any of this was bothering him or affecting him in any way at all. Nothing. He reached up again and pulled his shirt over his head, a trick procedure because it took his gaze away from Gaara for a moment, but nothing resulted, so he smiled at Gaara again and set down the shirt before yanking off his socks and then shoving down his underwear last. Gaara remained totally unaffected. It was very weird to see Gaara look at his naked body without any expression, without any emotion or desire whatsoever, and Neji didn't like it, but now wasn't the time to get offended. Instead, he pulled Gaara to the shower and turned on the water, setting out two towels and folding their clothes on the counter while Gaara remained impassively staring at the wall in front of him. "Come on, step inside," Neji prompted him, guiding him into the shower, helping him step over the edge, which seemed a bit of a difficulty for him, since it required him to be aware of his surroundings. Finally, he twitched the curtain shut and let Gaara stand in the steaming water with him for a while, just hoping to warm up the other man a bit, and maybe get some sort of reaction out of him, but he didn't seem to mind any of it, whether his face was directly in the shower or if it was hotter or colder, he stood passively, still trembling slightly from time to time as Neji very carefully washed his hair, rubbing the shampoo in and frowning when Gaara's eyes didn't shut with pleasure the way they usually did when he did this favor. Then he washed him down with a loofah very methodically, starting with his neck and going down to the soles of his feet. While Gaara would move when prompted, he did not anticipate requests that he lift his arm or leg, or turn this way or that. Neji was glad the shower was on, because at one point, he knew he started crying softly, tears rolling down his face as he finally washed Gaara's face gently with a dab of soap and sweeping strokes of his fingers. It took a while to get Gaara to close his eyes, , and Neji had to maneuver himself to shield them just in case he opened them back up and got an eyeful of soapy water, to which he probably wouldn't even react, with how things were going so far. It should have been hard for him to end the shower, since usually an opportunity to touch a wet and naked Gaara was something he would definitely look forward to, but with the way he was acting it was just scaring Neji more than anything else. Once he felt he could maintain a semblance of calm he turned off the water and toweled them both off before tossing the tainted robe in the hamper, cinching the towel around Gaara's waist, doing the same with his own, and carrying his clothes in one arm while he used his free hand to lead Gaara back to their room.

He was relieved to see that Naruto had already seen to the floor and gone again, because he doubted it would help Gaara to see the blonde man at the moment. Closing the door behind them, he set down his clothes on the dresser and then removed both towels and guided Gaara to the bed. This went fine until he tried to get Gaara to climb _onto_ the bed, and at that point he refused to move, and Neji realized that if he was going to get him in the bed, he'd have to physically lift him and set him there. He was pretty sure this would not end well, so he decided to improvise. He opened the closet and shifted things around until he found the spare comforter that had been Gaara's back when they had two beds, unfolded it and laid it out on a bare area of the floor. Then he took the pillows off the bed, set them at one end of his makeshift camp bed, and pulled Gaara over to this, instead. When prompted, he had no trouble getting Gaara to lay down here, and he pulled their comforter off the bed, laying down and covering them both with it while wondering how long they'd have to sleep on the floor, or if he'd be able to find some other solution if Gaara didn't get over his sudden aversion to their bed. Perhaps he could see if Gaara would climb in other beds? He could just get rid of this one and buy a new one. It would be worth it, the ground was not very comfortable, though it didn't seem to affect Gaara in the least. Not that he looked relaxed, but he wasn't looking upset or really...like he felt anything at the moment.

"Can you talk?" he asked, edging toward his lover a bit. He still wasn't holding Gaara, and he wanted to, thinking that if he could do that, somehow everything would be better, but he was still worried it would cause a violent reaction like it had at first. "Can you tell me how you feel? Anything at all?" Gaara blinked at him, those mint-green eyes he'd grown to love so much completely void of emotion, of anything he could recognize. Neji thought that if Gaara didn't react soon, didn't say something, he was going to have to take him to the hospital or something, because there was clearly something very wrong with him at the moment. "You know what's horrible is I feel like this is my fault. Because this morning, you and I were going to make love, and then I had to leave in a hurry, and I know it must have been why you were feeling that way, and then...then Naruto came in here, so of course you would want...I'm not upset with you, and neither is Naruto. He says more than anything he was surprised, and worried Sasuke might see and get upset, think that he'd started it, you know. So you don't need to worry about that." Gaara didn't respond to any of this, not even the bit about what he'd done with Naruto, which had been risky, but he thought worth trying for a reaction.

"Tomorrow, after I finish my paper and you have your final, we're going to go on a trip," Neji tried again. "For a week or so, longer if you like. Where do you want to go? Should we stay in the country? We could go somewhere warm, if you like." Nothing at all came back to him from the other man, who he was now lying very close to. He wrapped his arms around him, letting their bodies mold against each other, and kissed Gaara's head tenderly. "Please, just say something. Just let me know you're going to be okay...you're scaring me." There was a long silence, and Neji started to sob silently, pressing his face into the red hair of the doll-like creature in his arms. Just as he gave up hope, he heard the words, so soft he might have missed them if he hadn't been straining to hear _anything_ at all from him.

"I hurt him, Neji." Gaara's voice was nearly expressionless, but there was a note of wonder, as though this was something he had only just learned. "I hurt him. I think I raped him...I don't know." There was a long pause again, and Neji pulled back, looking into the eerily expressionless face. "I'm horrible. I hurt him, and I liked it."

----------

To be continued...


	24. Chapter 24

If I Fall

Chapter 24

----------

"I'm horrible." Gaara finished in his quiet, subdued tone, and then, sudden emotion broke over his still face, shame and horror and finally despair, his face screwing up as though he were five years old, and he began to cry unreservedly.

"Gaara, no," Neji cupped the side of his lover's face. "You aren't. You're impulsive, and with Naruto poking around you, and the way you feel about him, it isn't shocking that you tried to--"

"I _hurt_ him!" Gaara managed through his tears, breath hitching, face wet and blotchy with his misery. "I'm just like--"

"No, no you're not." Neji heaved a sigh. He could see this would take time. "He said you were hurting him so you'd stop, but he said you didn't really hurt him, just surprised him."

"I took...I took without asking." Gaara insisted. "I _took_ like I always...always..."

"Do you ask me every time you want a kiss, or even more?" Neji asked, tone soft and understanding. "Do I ask you? If Naruto had come to you today and just climbed on top of you without asking, would you hate him for doing that to you? If _I _had been the one in bed today, would you be this upset right now? Would you think you were horrible for taking something when you _know_ it's something I want you to take, something we share all the time? And it hasn't been long since Naruto and you could share things like that, as well. I know the transition hasn't been easy for you, Naruto knows that too, he doesn't blame you."

"You're tr—trying to make this..." Gaara's sobs wracked through him so hard his whole body shook sharply against Neji's. "This _isn't_ okay. Nothing...nothing will ever be okay...if I...if I did something like that to Na—Naruto, why wouldn't I...h—hurt you?"

"Love," Neji rarely called Gaara by anything other than his name, but the situation was dire. "The only thing you could ever do to hurt me is to leave me and to never love me again. Do you really think that if you're rough, or even if you _hit_ me, that it hurts me? _Really_ hurts me? I don't care about something like that if it makes you happy. If it would make you smile, I'd let you cut me to ribbons."

"Don't...say things like that..." Gaara crumpled against him, clutching at him weakly, sniffling and crying weakly, slowly wearing himself out with all the emotion and stress of the morning. "I don't deserve..."

"There's _nothing_ you don't deserve." Neji assured him, his tone vehement, his jaw set. "Listen, if you want, I can go get Naruto right now, he'll come back in here and tell you that he's fine, that you surprised him, scared him a little, but didn't hurt him, not really. I know how you can get when you're in that mood, and you want what you want, and you take what you take, but it feels amazing to me, every time, and it makes me happy that you trust me enough to let yourself go like that. Fuck, Gaara, he knows things are supposed to be over between you two, that's the only reason he wanted you to stop. _He said it felt good_."

"He's just...just trying to protect me..." Gaara was either calming down or running out of the strength to cry quite so hard. Neji just held him tight, determined to ride this storm out at his side, like any other.

_Whatever he needs from me to make this okay...I'd give anything just to have him be happy again._

----------

Kankurou had spent quite some time thinking things through. In the end, several things were clear to him.

First, he loved Shizuka, and he wanted to be there for her.

Second, he was definitely hung up on Suri, and he was not okay with her dating Chouji.

Third, he was at least seventy percent sure that she was probably _also_ hung up on him. He had no real evidence of this, but he felt quite sure of it, nonetheless.

Fourth, he needed to get her back, and if he could do that, everything else would work out.

The problem with all of this was that he already had a girlfriend, and he was pretty sure Suri didn't look at him dating Shiori as a sure sign of his devotion to her or their daughter, so that would have to change if he wanted to fix things. He was pretty sure that initially, this would be something that Temari definitely wouldn't approve of, but he felt that in the end, she would respect what he was doing and see that clearly, since he'd had her first, Suri was really supposed to be with him in the end anyway, probably even Chouji knew that. He was just getting while the getting was good.

"Kankurou, if you want to tell me something, just say it, you've been staring at the table for ten minutes." Shiori was sitting across from him. He had thought the dining room was a good place to break up with her because the table was too wide for her to reach across to hit him. Also, it was his house, so she couldn't kick him out, and all the people here were his friends, so if she went crazy, they'd be on his side. In addition, he knew all the best hiding places and escape routes after living in this house with Temari for the past three years, just in case the placid nature Shiori had displayed before had been some sort of cover for the sort of behavior he had experienced more than once in the past and had thus decided it was wiser to prepare for, just to be on the safe side. Anyways, he had always thought the cliché of taking her out to dinner and breaking up in a restaurant was idiotic. Because first of all, if she was crazy, she wasn't going to care about making a scene. And second, if you did that, you ended up having to pay for one last dinner. That was for idiots.

"Ah...yeah." he coughed and fidgeted slightly, looking up at her. She was very hot, that was for sure. It was much easier to break up with her when he couldn't see how good looking she was, even though the annoyed expression on her face didn't make him think she'd be in the mood for one last trip to the basement bedroom. It was depressing to know that after this, he'd have to wait for weeks, or even months for Suri to take him back, and in the mean time he couldn't even comfort himself with hot sex with this very undemanding girl. Still, as long as her apathetic attitude toward him was not a cover for something more normal, she probably wouldn't be that upset. Maybe she'd even want one last night together...

"Look, I have to finish my reading in the next hour. I'm meeting with Shikamaru to go over it, and I don't want to tell him I'm unprepared because I spent half the morning sitting here waiting for you to tell me whatever it is." Shiori's tone was not necessarily upset, it was crisp, cool, and slightly annoyed, that was all. She never got _really _upset with him. Just annoyed or impatient or bored. "Kankurou, if this is about Suri, I already know."

"What? I didn't do it!" Kankurou flushed as he realized what words had immediately popped out of his mouth, despite the fact that so far, he really _hadn't_ done anything he had any need to hide from Shiori. "I mean, what do you mean?"

"That you're still in love with her. I know that, and it's okay." she waved a hand at him in a carefree manner, and Kankurou gave her a look of utter confusion.

_What...what is she thinking? If she knows I'm in love with my ex...which I never said I was! But...if she really thinks that, why is she with me? It's not like she couldn't find a single guy who actually wants just her. I mean, she's totally fucking hot and smart as hell. I don't get her at _all.

"Um." he answered, gathering himself. That had not been part of what he had prepared himself for in this conversation. "Um, I'm not...I mean, I still think...I have feelings, I guess, but it's not...not like..."

"Oh, good god, I just said I don't care, what are you bothering to hide it for?" Shiori rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I _see_ the way you look at her, and even before that, it was obvious, whenever someone brought her up, the way you react and everything. I mean, you still have a picture of her in your wallet."

"Oh...oh shit." Kankurou had forgotten about that, and hadn't realized that Shiori would find it or know what it was, or care. Well...it seemed like she _didn't_ care, but that was very weird. Why didn't she care? Wasn't he supposed to be _her_ girlfriend? And he didn't have any pictures of her, although he was sure if he asked Naruto, or even Sakura, who was big on "group photos" there might be one or two with her in there. You don't hang around a house with a photographer in it for that long and _not_ end up in any pictures. "Well...fuck, I guess it's about time for me to clean my wallet out. I don't even really...um, remember putting that there."

_Lie._ His mind supplied helpfully. He could remember very clearly. She had asked for a picture of him for Valentine's Day the first year they were dating; she never liked asking him for expensive things, even though she knew how much money his family had. She had told him a picture of him was worth more than anything he could buy her, and he'd been oddly touched, getting Temari's help to pick one out that she might like, and when he saw her put it in her wallet...he'd asked for a picture of her as well. She had been so pleased that he wanted one, that had almost been better than having the picture, a snapshot from when she'd been in college, looking much the same as she did now, bent over a book, her hair making a soft line against her face. He'd looked at the picture enough, he could see it now in his mind if he concentrated.

"_Now if you want to see me, and I'm not around, you can just look here," she'd flushed with pleasure when she found it in his wallet, had curled against him, and he'd felt his heart melt, as she always had a way of making it do._

_I should have told her then that I loved her. I should have told her more often, but I thought it would make me seem clingy or lame, like she'd get sick of me if I said it too much. But maybe if I'd said it more...I would have kept it in mind when I was thinking of doing dumb shit, like cheating on her._

"Whatever, I just said I don't care? Do you think I'm going to flip on a dime and rush you or something?" Shiori gave a mirthless laugh. "That's what this is about, right? You want to break up with me so you can win her back, something like that?"

"Um." Kankurou had never in his life had to do so little to break up with a girl. Irrationally, part of his mind was saying how awesome Shiori was, how she was just as easy to break up with as she was to date in the first place, which was definitely an odd thing to think, even if it was essentially true. "Well...I mean, I don't think we--"

"Okay, here's the deal, Kankurou." Shiori's fingers laced together as she tented her hands in front of her as though ready to enter negotiations. "I've known since I met you that you have these layers, right?" she arched a brow, and at his flabbergasted expression, she went on. "I've since been exposed to most of them, so I'm pretty clear on what you're thinking, what your motivations are, and I want you to know that they don't at all conflict with _my_ aims, and I'd like to propose that we work together."

"Um...what?" Kankurou was utterly confused. "Your...aims?"

"Kankurou, I'm going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer me honestly." she steadied her steely blue eyes on him, her long lashes suddenly more intimidating than pretty. "Did you _honestly_ think that I'm the type of girl to hook up with a guy like you out of nowhere?"

"Well...I mean, I have...kinda, a way with the ladies..." Kankurou flushed deeply, realizing how idiotic it sounded when he said it aloud.

"I'm sure your cheesy lines and ribald humor impresses the hell out of bar skanks, but I hold myself to a higher standard than that." she replied, a smile that looked more like she was simply baring her teeth causing him to shudder. He had never really thought of her seriously...well, he knew she was smart about most things, and he knew that most girls that liked him really...well, weren't smart at all, with the marked exception of Suri. However, with her, he'd had to really work to get even one date, and Shiori had simply fallen into his lap without any sort of struggle, really. "Didn't it ever strike you as odd that despite my normally careful nature I had known you only in passing as someone who lived in this house with my tutor, and then suddenly I was _too_ afraid of a storm to sleep alone, and then the next thing you know, I'm with you, uttering no complaints about your less than stellar boyfriend behavior, never getting jealous of other girls that you would talk about, never seeming suspicious when you'd disappear for hours at a time on some vaguely described errand? Has none of that _ever _given you cause to wonder _what_ the hell I'm doing here?"

"Um." Kankurou cleared his throat uncomfortably, feeling not a little embarrassed to have his faults and oversights so clearly outlined by someone who was meant to be his girlfriend in such a calm, businesslike fashion. "I guess...I did kinda wonder about...some things, but it's like...girls are complicated, and I figured...damn, you're awesome to date, you just let me do whatever, never complain or whatever, and you pretty much gimme sex whenever, unless you have a class or something you gotta do, so I just thought...thought..."

"What, you thought I fell madly in love with you, and I was _so_ desperate to stay with you that I'd put up with all your demeaning comments, all your ridiculous behavior, do anything you want, and the _only_ compensation I was after was the pleasure of your company?" she laughed then, and Kankurou was surprised to realize that it hurt his feelings. Why _didn't_ she like him? He was reasonably considerate of her, and while he had his lapses, he'd only seen the fact that she didn't complain as her just...not being very high maintenance. Which was great. And sure, he'd considered from time to time that it was weird how trusting she was, even when he _knew_ his friends had filled her in on his past behavior toward his girlfriends, but he just thought...well, she was so good looking, she probably didn't feel worried that he'd leave her. "I mean, you're not very aware as far as relationships go, but even _I_ was expecting you to ask me what the deal was by now. But no, you're so blithely unaware, so self-assured, so confident that you're so _amazing_ in bed that I'll put up with everything else just for that. Which, by the way, to be honest, you could use some work."

"_What!?_" Kankurou could not believe this. This was _worse_ than her flipping out and chasing him with a knife from the kitchen. What the _hell_ had he done to deserve this!? He hadn't even cheated on her. Yet.

"Well, most things you've got down, but you should really consider the fact that you're not the _only_ person in bed. Honestly." Shiori waved her hand in that carefree way again, and Kankurou stared at her, his mouth slack, his eyes wide. "If you like, I could give you some tutelage, and I'm sure you'd be able to get your techniques polished up just fine. I mean, you aren't hopeless or anything. On a scale of one to ten, I'd put you at a seven, so you're definitely not the _worst_ I've ever had. It's just not as mind-blowing as you seem to think. Anyway," she folded her hands again primly, as though she hadn't just analyzed his sexual technique to devastating effect. "That's neither here nor there. I'm trying to say that I know that you want to get Suri back, and I'm _also_ trying to tell you that I don't care, and that I think we could work together. I can _help_ you get her back. And trust me, you'll need help. You think you're so much better than Chouji, but he's not even as pudgy as he used to be, and frankly, that's not really going to factor into Suri's final decision. Girls don't care if a guy carries a little excess, and if it's a guy like Chouji, someone who is going to be considerate and thoughtful, someone who doesn't even take issue with the fact that she has a child, who in fact seems quite taken with that fact, then you're entering this with a disadvantage. I mean, frankly the only thing you've got on your side is your history with her, and if you want my help, you're going to have to be perfectly honest and leave your ego out of it. She's _not_ going to leave Chouji for your bedroom technique, or for your looks, or your witty repartee, so really, your best hope is that she actually loved you, and if she did, hopefully she's harboring feelings, and hopefully she hasn't grown to love Chouji, or if she has, the fact that they've been dating for only a few months, that might help you, because it's not really as deep as someone you were with for...how long was it?"

"One year, three months." he answered automatically, forgetting to be indignant. "But...I mean, if I'm dating you, she's not going to want to--"

"And you cheated on her, right?" Shiori tapped her chin thoughtfully. "So that's why she wanted to break up. How much cheating are we talking about, here?"

"That's not really..." Kankurou flushed deeply. "I mean, it's not any of your business."

"Please, do you want my help or _not_?" she leveled a dry look at him. "Just tell me, one time, two times?" he shook his head, staring down at his hands in shame. "Three? More than five?" at that last he nodded. "How many other girls? Just one?"

"No...I was...kinda afraid...where we were heading and I just sort of...um..." he cleared his throat, his blush spreading to his neck. "Lots of girls...like whoever I could find, and I wasn't really...bothering to hide it so..."

"Okay, good," Shiori nodded. "Well, this is going to be tough, especially when you're up against such a reliable guy. You better hope she was crazy in love with you. Although frankly, any girl who falls in love with you must be out of her mind." she stood up. "So then, I'll think things over, and tonight we can discuss strategy. Right now I need to go finish my reading." she walked around the table, gave him a perfunctory kiss on his forehead and clapping him on the shoulder in a decidedly chummy manner. "Good talk, I'm glad we got that all out in the open. I'll see you later."

Kankurou didn't say anything, he was too surprised to even _think_ of what he might want to say. Then he was alone, realizing that he'd missed something very crucial in that whole, very odd conversation they'd just engaged in. She'd told him she wasn't with him for the sake of being with him, that she had some...some _other_ reason, which meant she was after something. She knew what _he_ was after, and had agreed to help him get it as long as they could continue dating, which was somehow integral to her own private plot.

What he wanted to know, what he should have asked, and probably would have, had he not been so surprised by her reaction, was just that. What the hell did Shiori want? And how was dating him supposed to help her get it?

----------

Temari had come up with a plan to stop herself from thinking about Kiba, about how the situation made her feel, about what she wanted, and about what she had given up already with him. The plan was simple, she would focus all of her energy on school, which was not in any way likely to cause her trouble, and in fact, if anything had likely caused her to ace all her finals. She was feeling extremely confident about all of her classes, and she had just turned in a final paper, her _last_ one, which she thought had been particularly well thought out and insightful. She was quite sure she would be getting continuing her record of excellent grades this term, and she was already so far on her thesis that she knew it would be done well before the April deadline.

The problem was that now, she had no more classes to go to, no more finals to work on, and in fact, her thesis was the only thing she could hope to occupy her time with for the next month until classes started up again. This meant she was likely to finish her rough draft in the next week or two. Which would leave her half of winter break to try and think of things she needed to do. Perhaps if enough people stayed home, she'd be able to spend time with them. She especially wanted to spend time with her brothers, since it had occurred to her recently that this was their senior year, and that it was extremely unlikely either of them would want to move back home, whether she was there or not (which depended entirely on which graduate school she decided on). This meant that this was the last year all three of them would likely be living together. She knew about which graduate programs both of her brothers were looking at, and none of them coincided with any of hers, so she knew that it was only a matter of time before the Sabaku siblings were separated, perhaps even in different countries, and only able to see each other on occasion. Knowing her brothers, she would have to be the one to make the effort here, as she doubted either of them would think to take the time to fly and see her on her birthday or any other day. They would assume that if she wanted to see them, she would come to them. Which was true.

All of which was why she wasn't exactly exuberant to hear the news that Neji was giving her at the moment.

"I'm sorry, you're going _where_?" she narrowed her eyes at him. "And for _how_ long?"

"We're just taking a trip to the Caribbean." he told her in a calm, quiet tone. There was a tightness in his face and voice that she might have noticed if she had been less stressed and concerned about her own problems, but as it was, she didn't think he seemed upset at all. On the contrary, in the mood she was in, he just seemed smug to her. Pleased to be monopolizing her brother's time. "We'll be back before New Years. I know you like us all to be here for that."

"What about Christmas?" she insisted. "You know, I _would_ like to spend that day with both of my brothers, and I might not get a chance again, maybe not for years! Plus, I think Suri might come over with Shizuka. Don't you think Gaara wants to spend Christmas with his family?"

"I'm his family, too." Neji's tone was only a little strained, but the reproach was clear. However, Temari wasn't in the mood to be reproached.

"You take up all his free time every single day almost since you guys met freshman year," she hissed. "And we all know you'll be living together when we all leave the house in May. But that's not enough, you have to rob me of my last Christmas with both my brothers and my niece? How can you be so selfish?"

"Gaara isn't in the mood for lots of people right now." Neji's tone was low and a little dangerous, enough so that Temari thought he might actually knock her down if she kept fighting him on this. "And you've never made a big deal about Christmas before. When we left sophomore year, you didn't care."

"You were visiting your family, I understand that. But now you're just trying to keep him from everyone else." Temari snapped. "Ironic, considering a month ago, you were sharing him with two other guys like you didn't even care _who_ he slept with. What's with the sudden possessiveness?"

"I know you don't approve of what took place between us and Sasuke and Naruto, but it's not any of your business, and it never was." Neji told her, his tone harsh, but low. He had left Gaara alone to come have this discussion with Temari, and he was severely annoyed that he was separated from his currently unbalanced lover, as well as that she was putting up a fight as though she really had any say in what Gaara decided to do. "You've always tried to control Gaara and Kankurou, and that became somewhat less while you had Kiba to control. You don't need to try and make up for your lack of boyfriend by making everyone else miserable or casting judgment on any of their decisions. What you decided to do with Kiba was your decision, and I have not said one word about what I feel about that because it is not my place, just as it isn't your place to force your opinion of our lifestyle choices on Gaara or I."

"Don't be such a dick," she didn't know what else to say, she was so surprised by his dressing down. "And...like I would ever follow your relationship advice, anyway. You're...so..."

"Interesting, considering the comparative length of my relationship with Gaara and any of the relationships you've had since we've met." he arched a dark brow at him, and she had to restrain the urge to slap his smug face.

"You....you know, what?" she heaved a sigh. "Fine, you guys go, have your private romantic vacation. But I want to hear it from Gaara. I don't think it's fair that my own brother won't even tell me face to face that he doesn't want to spend Christmas with his niece and his siblings, that he'd rather spend it alone with his selfish dick of a boyfriend. And besides, I haven't seen him for days. You guys stay cooped up in that room all day, barely get out to take your finals, and if you think I think you're studying--"

"Gaara may not want to talk to anyone right now." Neji cut her off, and there was a break in his tone that made Temari realize something she'd been missing so far because of her own concerns. Neji looked upset. In fact...it almost looked like he'd been crying, although it could be that he just woke up. Also, something she was surprised she hadn't noticed right away, for the first time ever since she'd first met him, his hair didn't look as though it had been brushed recently, and she wondered if he'd even washed it in the last couple days. Neji was always impeccable in his appearance, even on the occasions when he'd been caught with Gaara, doing things they were meant to confine to their bedroom, he was able to pull himself together so quickly, it was clear he took great pride in his appearance. To see his hair dull and slightly tangled...what was going on to make him not spend the requisite time to keep its normally gleaming perfection intact? "He's having...a bad time, and that is one of the reasons we are going away."

"What's going on?" she frowned. Clearly _they_ couldn't be fighting, or they wouldn't be going _anywhere_ together. Or maybe they were, and Neji was trying to kidnap Gaara, to force him to capitulate? Temari's internal warnings were suddenly blaring. "What happened? What did you do?"

"Why do you always think it's me?" Neji was clearly annoyed at this accusation. "It's none of your business, and I can almost promise you, he won't want to talk about it, if he even wants to talk to you in the first place." he frowned, pursing his lips and clearly fighting some internal debate before he nodded sharply and stood. "Okay, I'll tell him you want to speak to him, and if he is okay with it, you can, but you have to swear that if he seems hesitant to discuss anything, you don't press him. He's not...he's having a hard time dealing with a few things, and I'll have you know that _I _did nothing. All I'm doing is trying to help him through his...problems, and having you interrogate him certainly isn't going to help him."

"Oh please, that's such a generalized statement." she grumbled, standing up from the dining room table as well to follow him to their room. "Gaara never wants to talk about _anything_, so that would mean I can't ask him anything, from the weather to his grades to anything you may or may not have done to get him into an isolated state. Er...more isolated."

"You know him well enough to know what I'm talking about." Neji paused as they reached his door, leveling a serious look at her. "Promise you won't push him. And if he says he doesn't want to talk, respect that. When he's ready to talk to people, I'm sure he'll want to see you. You know he cares a great deal for you."

"Fine, fine, I promise." she rolled her eyes and peered around him as he opened the door to see that the bed, oddly, was empty and stripped of everything but sheets. She had enough time to spot an edge of blanket and a pale foot on the floor between the bed and the closet on the far side of the room before Neji closed the door, ostensibly to seek Gaara's approval of her entry, which she still thought was ludicrous. Even if he didn't like talking about the sources of his fights with Neji, he would still seek her out when he was upset. Neji was clearly just trying to avoid her siding with him, which he had to know was inevitable, since he was her brother. She leaned in, pressing her ear to the door to see if she could overhear anything, but they were either talking too quietly, or not speaking at all, because it sounded utterly silent to her. Feeling annoyed and suspecting that Neji was just going to leave her out there until she got tired of waiting, she crossed her arms and began tapping her foot impatiently. If they thought it was that easy to get rid of her, they were sorely mistaken. She had nowhere she needed to be, she could wait as long as it took. They had to come out some time.

Just then, the door opened, and Neji peered out at her, beckoning her inside. "Okay, he'll speak with you, but if you say one thing off the subject of winter break without his permission, you're out of the room if I have to throw you out myself." she snorted and pushed past him at once, looking around and walking around the bed to see, as she had thought, Gaara on the ground, curled up and looking very pale, very subdued, and very wary of her.

"Gaara," she knelt beside him and reached out to stroke the side of his head, and he flinched away from her touch. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"I can't be here right now." he told her, his voice rough and husky, as though he'd been crying, which she realized, looking at his red-rimmed eyes and splotchy cheeks, was clearly the case. "I want to go...I have to go with Neji. I'll come back, so just...just don't worry...okay?" the last bit was whispered, and he began trembling so badly she wanted badly to kiss his temple, to hug him and tell him everything was going to be all right, but after he had flinched away from her hand, she doubted he would allow that.

"Hey, hey," Neji's voice was soft and sweeter than she thought she had ever heard it as he came around the other side of them, pressing a reassuring hand to Gaara's back rubbing in circles as the trembling continued. "Hey, calm down, it's okay. You know it's okay. Everything's going to be okay. Temari loves you no matter what." despite the sweetness of his tone, he shot her a look so sharp she nearly leapt back at the intensity of his silver gaze before she realized what he was asking for without words and nodded sharply, reaching out hesitantly and this time being allowed to touch his soft red locks without any problem.

"I do," she assured him, utterly at a loss for what was going on, what it was that had her brother in such a state, and why it made him think, for some crazy reason, that it would make her love him any less. She was still suspicious that Neji had done something horrible, since that had been her first instinct, but the fact that Gaara seemed to find some modicum of comfort in the other man made her doubt herself. "You're my baby brother, and I will always love you, no matter what. Don't be afraid." Because she could see that he _was_ afraid, of what, she didn't know, but Neji seemed to have expected this, so he must have a clear understanding of what was going on, and she was extremely annoyed that he wouldn't just let her know.

"You...you don't know." his shuddering subsided and he turned from her, his hand creeping out of the blanket to clutch at the hem of Neji's shirt, his lover still looking down at him with a level of devotion that shouldn't have surprised her after all this time, but still shook her a bit. "Don't know...what I am...what I really..." his shoulders shook once, twice, three times, but it wasn't until he made a keening noise and Neji picked him up, revealing that he was still wearing the clothes he'd taken his last final in two days ago, that she realized he was crying. Gaara was not someone she'd seen cry more than a couple times in her life, not until he'd met Neji, who had opened his heart in a way she had never managed, and never had she seen it as bad as this. Neji scooped him up like a child, twitching aside the bit of blanket that caught on him, sitting cross-legged with the redhead in his lap, his body curled up impossibly small as he clutched at the comfort of his lover's closeness, his frame shuddering with continued sobs, his face buried in Neji's chest. The taller man had one arm wrapped around him, the other stroking his hair softly as he rocked him quietly and made soft hushing noises, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and giving Temari a look so accusatory that she momentarily felt like she was to blame for this sudden break down.

"No, sweetie," she gathered herself again, recovering from the initial shock of his behavior and reactions. "I really do love you, no matter what, I swear."

"She...wouldn't..." Gaara managed between sobs, his voice muffled as he shook in Neji's arms. "Not...not if..."

"She would," Neji assured him, his tone soft. "Temari loves you like a mother," somehow, this made Gaara cry worse than ever, and Neji's face became utterly distraught. "She does! Don't you know how much everyone here loves you? You really think there's any way she could love you less? Did Naruto stop loving you when--" Gaara let out a little shriek that so surprised them both that Temari leapt back and fell against the bed, while Neji stopped speaking at once. He heaved a sigh and whispered an apology into Gaara's hair before looking up at her, his expression weary and sad. "You see?"

"But...why is he so..." she began, but at the look on Neji's face, she stopped herself, standing up, tears in her eyes at the pain this was causing her, seeing Gaara like this and not knowing _why_ he was so upset, not knowing what she could do for him. "Fine, I'll go." she nodded slowly, feeling utterly useless and frustrated that she couldn't help her brother. "But...I really do love you, Gaara. No matter what. I want you to know..." she didn't receive any reaction, so she left, letting the tears fall and at that moment, as she leaned against their closed door, knowing that inside Neji was still doing his best to comfort Gaara, to get him through whatever it was that was upsetting him so badly, she knew that if Kiba was there, she would go to him. She wanted him to hold her, to tell her that she _was_ a good sister, a good person. In that moment, she wanted to see the love in those dark eyes, soft and deep brown and always accepting, no matter what she did or said.

_Not like me...one mistake and I turn my back on him...and now...now when I need him, I'm alone. There's nothing for me, no one to give me what I need, and I made it this way. I'm the one pushing people away all the time. Whatever it is that Gaara thinks would make me stop loving him...it's no wonder he thinks my love is conditional...after what he saw..._

She recalled the hurt look he'd given her that day that she'd broken up with Kiba, when she decried the way he forgave Neji's failings so easily, when she insinuated that in fact, Neji should have broken up with him after what had happened with Naruto their sophomore year.

_No wonder...he thinks that's the sort of person I am._

_Because that's what I've become. And that's why now, I'm alone._

----------

To be continued...


	25. Chapter 25

If I Fall

Chapter 25

----------

"Did you see Gaara?" Sasuke asked his lover in a hushed tone as they went upstairs to their bedroom. Naruto had wanted to spend winter break at home this year, since it was their last chance to spend it with their friends, and Sasuke had been mildly surprised to hear that Neji and Gaara were clearing out only two days after finishing their finals. He had asked Naruto if he'd known that Gaara was going away, and had received a close-lipped shrug and a blank look in response. Which, of course, only made him quite sure that Naruto _had_ known and that there was some sort of tension between the two. He wanted to be pleased about this, because ending their "arrangement" hadn't exactly cured Sasuke of his latent jealousy of what existed between the redhead and Naruto, so really, he should feel pleased about anything that widened the gap between them, but he couldn't help it. He hated to see Naruto unhappy, and it was clear something was upsetting him, though he said he couldn't tell Sasuke what it was just yet, which seemed strange. Normally, he either said he would talk or he wouldn't, he never said that he could talk about it at some unknown future date. This only worried Sasuke more, making him overly aware of everything happening in the house, which might have been the only reason he noticed the oddly clingy way that Gaara stuck next to Neji as he saw them for the first time in days leave their room for the sole purpose of leaving the house for their brief winter vacation. Even more strange than the way Gaara had cowered under the shelter of Neji's arm and darted his eyes around him as though fighting abject horror at being exposed to something that wasn't the safety of their bedroom was his reaction to seeing Sasuke and Naruto, who had been enjoying breakfast when this took place, and had a clear view of them from the dining room table.

"You leaving, then?" Sasuke asked Neji, nodding at the suitcase he was toting in his Gaara-free arm, and the dark-haired man blinked, as though surprised to hear anyone speak to him, before nodding. "Later, then." he turned to Naruto, expecting the blonde to leap up and run over, to hug them both and tell them to call when they got there, confirm the date of their return three times and say how much he'd miss them, how much fun they'd have, etc. However, Naruto had looked at the frozen pair with a guarded expression, hunching over his cereal and shoving a great spoonful of it in his mouth as though he wanted it to stop him from saying anything. Puzzled, Sasuke looked up again to see if either of them would say goodbye to Naruto; he didn't fool himself thinking that he was the one whose company they both preferred, but Gaara was now hiding behind Neji as though he didn't want to be seen, and Neji heaved a sigh before regaining control of both the suitcase and his boyfriend, and leading both out the door. Not one word passed between Naruto and either Neji or Gaara.

_What the hell happened? I mean, maybe they had a fight. Maybe Gaara's still pissed that we aren't sharing anymore, but Neji never treated Naruto any different after that was over, so it seems almost..._

Sasuke wasn't really sure what would explain the behavior he had just witnessed, but when they reached their bedroom and closed the door, he was prepared to ask his lover, to demand to know what was going on, when Naruto turned to him and hugged him tight, bursting into sudden, noisy tears.

"Wh...what?" Sasuke was too startled to say anything further at first, so he just held onto Naruto, letting his tears soak into the shoulder of the old shirt he'd been wearing just to go down for breakfast, and waited the storm of emotion out, one arm around his waist, the other stroking his hair, an instinct for giving comfort that had never led him wrong with Naruto before. "Come on," he wasn't sure how long they'd stood in the doorway with Naruto crying his eyes out, but Sasuke's bare feet were getting rather cold standing on the hardwood floor, and he doubted that Naruto could be much more comfortable, though he doubted the blonde was concerned with cold toes at the moment. In any case, Sasuke managed to successfully navigate them toward the bed, and he let go of his lover long enough to fold back the comforter so that they could climb under the warmth of the blanket for however much longer Naruto needed the comfort and presence of Sasuke. Once he'd gotten them both much more comfortably situated, Naruto's sobs had subsided to sniffling and the occasional hiccup, and Sasuke was no longer concerned that someone had died without him hearing about it, so he ventured a question. "What's wrong, Naruto?"

"I...I need...t—to talk to y—y—you..." he sniffled and wiped his nose with his curled hand, a childish gesture that Sasuke couldn't help finding adorable even in this situation. "I m—meant to...as soon as they...soon as they left." a sudden sob wracked his frame, and his face, already red, felt hot with misery as he pressed it to Sasuke's chest for comfort. "B—but...I'm afraid...afraid y—you'll be s—so...so angry."

"What, do you think I'm going to kick the crap out of you or something?" Sasuke was bewildered. He knew that Naruto didn't like him getting angry, but he'd never seemed so upset and terrified at the idea before, that he could recall. Even in sophomore year, when he had to bring himself to tell Sasuke that he'd slept with Gaara, he'd been more resigned than anything else. This was ridiculous. "Naruto, I don't care what you did or what you need to tell me, there's no reason to get so upset." he pulled back a bit and pressed his lips to Naruto's fever hot face, over and over again, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his salty eyelids, his quivering lips, his chin, until finally the flesh started to cool, and he could feel the pulse where his hand rested on Naruto's throat slow down as he calmed. "There you go...nothing's worth getting so upset. I don't want you to cry, I don't want you to be afraid to tell me anything." More than anything, Sasuke felt guilty that _this_ had been caused by him. Somehow, he'd led Naruto to believe that there was something horrible he would do in reaction to being told whatever it was that Naruto was keeping from him. He was now reasonably sure it had something to do with the strange behavior of both Neji and especially Gaara, and he felt a hot twist of jealousy in his gut, but looking at his miserable lover, seeing how afraid he had been to be honest, yet how clearly he was still determined to say what needed saying, that helped Sasuke unwind that hot knot deep within him, helped him control the impulses shooting through him at the moment, helped him stop himself from issuing wild speculations about what had happened, what Naruto had done to make him think he needed to so fear Sasuke's reaction. He trembled as he forced himself to deal with the idea that Naruto and Gaara had snuck around behind his back, that perhaps Neji had caught them and threatened to tell Sasuke unless they stopped and came clean. He forced himself to picture that, imagined Gaara and Naruto clinging to each other, kissing each other fervently and promising never to stop loving each other, no matter what Sasuke or Neji said, and then imagining Naruto's dismay as Gaara told him he'd been forced to choose, and so he'd stay with Neji, imagined Naruto locking himself away somewhere no one would see and crying bitterly, feeling betrayed by his other lover, and realizing that there was nothing for it but to come clean with Sasuke, who Neji would tell in any case, and he would likely make it worse...so much worse, and so...and so...

"Ah...Sasuke," Naruto's whimper brought Sasuke out of his imagined scenarios and made him realize with shock that he'd been holding onto his lover's arm so tightly the blonde was clearly in pain, and Sasuke's own knuckles had gone white. "It...hurts..."

"S—sorry." Sasuke had been trying so hard to control himself, to ease Naruto's fear, to imagine the worst possible thing, which now, he was almost positive was exactly what he was going to be told, and now...now he'd made it worse, letting his fury seep out.

_But the thing is...I'm angry with Naruto if he really did do that...but the weird thing is, I'm angrier with Gaara for hurting him...if it really was like that...how could he?_

Now his mind filled with scenes of Gaara tempting Naruto, of Gaara entrapping him and seducing him, just to take advantage of him, knowing all the while that as soon as Neji found out, he'd stop and turn back to his dark-haired lover, leaving Naruto feeling guilty and alone and utterly used.

_That bastard...if he did anything to hurt Naruto, after how much Naruto's given him..._

He forced himself to stop thinking about it, he knew he'd just end up hurting Naruto on accident again if he let his mind continue down that path, and that was the last thing he wanted. After seeing how terrified he was, seeing how much he'd upset himself, Sasuke realized that there was nothing Naruto could tell him that would require more punishment than what the blonde had already suffered through in his own mind. "Sorry, I'm just...please, don't be afraid of me. Just...tell me, and we'll talk, we'll just talk, and it will be okay, even if I'm angry, I won't hurt you, I won't yell at all." he told the other man, who was looking just as terrified as ever, but at least wasn't crying anymore. "I hate to see you so upset."

"O...okay." Naruto sniffled and scrubbed at his eyes with the knuckles of one hand. "P—promise you won't go c—crazy? No matter what I say?"

"Go crazy?" Sasuke was flabbergasted at this. "What could you possibly say that would make me--"

"Just promise!" Naruto looked desperate now. "Promise me you won't...won't freak out. That you won't hurt...anyone."

"Anyone?" Sasuke felt that hot knot in his gut again. After whatever it was, here he was, confessing, but at the same time trying to protect that bastard Gaara who'd been the one to put him in this position in the first place. Did he even realize how much Naruto cared about him? And how much he couldn't ever possibly deserve it? "Fine, I promise. I won't freak out, I won't hurt anyone, I promise. Just tell me what happened." He steeled himself for the words. It wouldn't be the first time Naruto had done something with Gaara without telling him. But now...after everything, it would hurt so much worse, and he had to prepare himself so that he could school his reaction. He had to be strong, or Naruto would feel all his fears justified, and would possibly even start crying again, and that was the last thing Sasuke wanted.

"D—do you remember...the other day w—when I was...you had a final, and I was kissing you for luck, in the kitchen." Naruto blinked, brilliant blue eyes rimmed red and swollen from crying so much, though he seemed to be gathering control as he focused on telling the story. "And...and we heard Gaara, and I went after him, and you had to go, but I was worried...thought he'd been upset to see us together like that?"

"Yes," Sasuke couldn't manage much warmth, he was busy trying to lock down all his emotions, so that when he heard the words, he could keep himself from reacting in the way Naruto expected and feared.

"I...I w—went to talk to him, to try and see...what we could do to make it so he wouldn't get...so upset." Naruto took a deep breath, and his eyes left Sasuke's, his fingers fiddling with the neckline of the worn shirt his lover wore, and his eyes fixing firmly there. "He told me to go away, and I thought...thought he was so upset he couldn't bear to see me, that he was...crying, and I couldn't...couldn't just leave him like that. You understand that, right?"

"Yes." Sasuke knew his tone was positively icy, but he couldn't have it both ways. If he let his emotions show, he would explode when Naruto admitted to being seduced, to carrying on with Gaara behind his back...he couldn't stop himself unless he held firm this way.

"So...so I went in anyway," Naruto took a long, deep breath, and Sasuke had a sudden horrifying fear that he was going to tell this as a play-by-play of the entire thing, of every touch and every feeling that accompanied it, of every whisper that passed between them. He wasn't sure how long he could handle that. "He was all curled up under his blankets, and I really...really thought he was crying. If...if I'd known, I wouldn't have...ever, not with...because...because I love you, Sasuke. I love you so much, and I can't put myself in that sort of position! Because in the end, I hurt both of you, more than myself, and that...I can't stand that."

_Just say it already._ Sasuke wished this could be over with already, but Naruto seemed to want to torture him. It took every ounce of his control to simply nod encouragingly rather than shake him and tell him to finish it, already.

"And then...and then..." Naruto let out a quiet little sob. "I leaned over...hugging him, thinking he was so sad, he needed a hug, but that...that wasn't what he needed. I guess...later, Neji told me they'd been fooling around, and he'd had to rush to class, and Gaara had been left alone and he wasn't...you know, and then seeing us together...probably that just made it worse, and it wasn't really that long ago that him and I...that we...that...and so, he just...just grabbed me."

_Here it comes._

"I...I tried to fight him." Naruto's voice was thin and wavered weakly as he continued. "I tried to push him off, but he was so...so...determined and...before I knew it...but he wasn't...it wasn't like he was _trying_ to hurt me." Naruto paused long enough to see how pale Sasuke's face had gone, how intensely those black eyes burned, and forced himself to carry on. "He just...just wanted...and once he realized that I didn't want it, he stopped, he stopped right away when he realized, and he got...got so upset...Sasuke, he was so upset he _puked_ all over the floor and he went into weird...almost like convulsions, he was shaking so bad, and Neji said it was shock, but he was so...so _afraid_ to even touch me after that, I was trying to help him, and when Neji came back and saw us, he thought _I'd _been the one who attacked Gaara because he was so...so desperate to get away from me..." Naruto trailed off and a weak sob rolled through him, tears dripping down his face as Sasuke looked on in utter shock and horror. He had _thought_ he knew how it would be, had thought it might vary a little, but this...this was not what he had expected. Yes, it still involved Gaara and Naruto having sex, but other than that...other than that...

Murderous rage swept through him then, so thick and overpowering that he could feel his heart actually speeding up, his blood heating, his fists clenching, and the only thing that kept him somewhat grounded was the terrified whimper of the man in his arms, who could see the change sweeping over him, could read the emotion filling his expression, having burst through the dam he'd erected with such force his entire body shook, his every muscle clenched, and he knew a sudden desperate need to _hurt_ Gaara so badly that he couldn't talk, couldn't breathe, and _definitely_ couldn't _ever_ touch his precious, beloved Naruto _ever_ again.

"Sasuke, no," Naruto groped at his arms, his cold fingers running over his cheeks, trying to bring him back to reality, out of his sudden extremely vivid fantasies of all the things he would like to do to Gaara, and most surely _would_ do as soon as he got his hands on the fiend. "No, you promised, you _promised_. You can't hurt anyone, and so you can't hurt Gaara, and you shouldn't! He didn't mean to! He wouldn't...wouldn't _ever_ hurt me!"

"Naruto! He fucking _raped_ you!" Sasuke had wanted so badly to control himself, but he had never expected what he had been told, nothing in the realm of possibility had told him that something like that could happen. "Are you out of your fucking mind? What does he have to do to count as it _hurting_ you? Kill you?!"

"You...you swore." Naruto's face crumpled in misery, and rather than the noisy sobs from before, a single silent tear fell down, and it completely undid Sasuke. He felt that expression of misery, that single tear like a physical blow, and he scrabbled for control in the flood of rage that had swept over him. "And...it wasn't...wasn't really so bad. You make it sound so bad."

"Naruto...dammit Naruto..." Sasuke struggled with himself, aware he was clutching at his lover again, aware he was probably hurting him, and unable to do anything about it. He couldn't stop himself, he couldn't hold it all in so easily. But he had promised not to hurt _anyone_. He had, and he'd also sworn not to yell, not to get upset, to just talk, to calmly talk about it. He had to remember...he had to focus on Naruto, to focus on how much he didn't want to break a promise to him. If he could just focus on that, he could control himself, no matter how badly he wanted to severely injure Gaara. "Okay, okay...I'm going to...calm down...I'm sorry." he was having a hard time gaining control, and was afraid to say anything more, but Naruto kissed him, softly, almost innocently, and Sasuke felt his anger boil off steadily, leaving despair and agony behind, the reactions that had been hiding underneath that overwhelming fury.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," Naruto whispered, clutching at Sasuke even more tightly than Sasuke in turn was holding him. "Sorry, I shouldn't have...shouldn't have even gone in there. If I wasn't...so nosy..." his tears continued to fall silently, hot and horrible against Sasuke's neck, where his face was pressed. Sasuke felt like _he_ was the cause of every one of those tears. He could remember that morning, remembered poor Naruto, so worried for Gaara, saying they should check on him, and Sasuke bowing out, saying he had to go take his final, and he'd leave Gaara to Naruto.

_If only I'd gone with him...if I had been there, I could have stopped it._

_Yeah, and probably I'd have kicked the shit out of Gaara so badly in the process he'd be in the hospital right now, and Naruto would be furious, and crying just as much as he is now...and probably Neji would have come after me for revenge..._

Yes, now that he was calmer and he thought it through, he could see that there would have been no way that the situation could have ended in anything but pain. But it didn't make him want to throttle Gaara any less. Only those tears, and that voice, that pleading look in his eyes...that was the only thing that could reach Sasuke, that could keep him from making things even worse.

"Don't you dare apologize," Sasuke hissed, getting his hand to stop trembling enough that he could run his fingers through the thick blonde hair tickling at his chin and throat, rubbing the neck soothingly, and hearing the soft sigh that meant Naruto, in his turn, was also calming down. "You don't have anything to apologize for. The only person who needs to apologize to anyone is that asshole who--"

"Please, Sasuke, you don't understand...for Gaara, this is the worst...the worst thing that he could ever have to deal with. He's probably going to have a total complex after this, he had this huge fear of doing something like that, because...of stuff, and just, well, you know how he can get swept away by what he wants. And it really...it really wasn't as bad as it sounds." Naruto looked at him apologetically, his face flushed in embarrassment. "I mean...like I said, I told him to stop, and he didn't hear me, he just kept...and he did...you know, get in me and everything, and he was really...but even though it was rough, and really...sudden and everything, it wasn't...it didn't...didn't hurt. I mean, he was still careful, even though he...you know...know how he can get." Naruto let out a nervous little laugh. "I mean...remember how rough he used to get with you?" Sasuke flushed scarlet and Naruto nodded. "It was like...like that. The only reason I was upset was that I wasn't...wasn't supposed to. I mean, we'd decided, and so I didn't want to break my word to you, and yeah, he did...just, you know, _take_, but it wasn't like...like horrible or anything."

"Are...are you trying to tell me you _liked_ what Gaara did to you?" Sasuke's voice was full of bewildered outrage.

"Well, I didn't want him to," Naruto qualified his explanation. "But...I mean, if it had been before we all stopped being together, it would have just been...just really...really sudden and like...intense." he paused, flushing even deeper. "He really...really wanted it. But he still was able to make it...make me ready and..." Naruto buried his face in Sasuke's neck. "I'm sorry, I'm just making it worse, I'm making it sound like I want us to go back to the way we were before so that Gaara and I could...you know."

"Do you?" Sasuke asked, suddenly needing to know, needing the honesty. "Do you want us to...to go back to that? Because...if you do..." Sasuke wasn't sure what he was going to say beyond that, he wasn't sure he could take that again, especially after seeing how the idea of Gaara and Naruto had just now filled him wish such white-hot rage. How was he supposed to just acquiesce to that desire now that he felt like, whatever Naruto said to reassure him, Gaara couldn't be trusted to treat Naruto the way Naruto ought to be treated. Gaara might be _too_ rough, and he was clearly too impulsive, that was obvious from what had happened between them. But he also realized that when Naruto said that it wasn't bad, that it didn't hurt, that it wasn't really as horrible as Sasuke made it sound...that was likely true. Of all people, he could expect that if Naruto ever found himself in a situation like that, after what Itachi had done to him three years ago, a memory that filled Sasuke with guilt and rage, Naruto would not bother trying to hide his upset and his fear. Because even if he _did_ try, it would be clear to Sasuke as soon as they were together alone, as soon as Sasuke kissed him or touched him, it would be obvious that there was something bothering him, that there was something that had happened to him, a wound that needed to be healed before things could be normal between them. But other than his reticence regarding Gaara the past couple of days, Sasuke hadn't noticed any hesitation or fear from Naruto in the bedroom. He realized now that bite he'd seen on Naruto's neck, the one he'd thought he must have inflicted without thinking...he knew it was from Gaara, and he couldn't stop his eyes wandering to it, still bruised, but the bruise fading to yellow.

How _dare_ Gaara mark _his_ Naruto? Sasuke felt a wild urge to leave his own mark, to leave several of them, all over Naruto's body, so no one would mistake that Naruto was _his_, and always would be.

"No...no, I don't want to do that again." Naruto shook his head vehemently, and Sasuke could see he was being honest. "Yeah, I love Gaara, and it feels good being with him...but I can't do that to you, and seeing you with him, or with Neji...I know how that makes me feel, and if you feel even half of that...I can't let you suffer like that, no matter how attracted to Gaara I am. It's not worth it. I love him, but it's nothing like how much I love you...how much I _need_ you. I just...just want it to be just us. Just you and me." he paused, searching for the right words. "If I lose Gaara, which honestly...after what happened, I might, because he's so...so upset, I don't know if he'll ever be able to even look at me again. But...even if I lose him, I know I'll be sad, and I know I'll miss him, but I'll still have you, and that's really...really all that matters. I can get through anything, I can do anything, I know, as long as I have you. But if...if I lost you..."

"Shush," Sasuke could see the way Naruto's face was twisting, and he felt that certainly the blonde had shed enough tears over this. "Don't worry about that, you'll never, ever lose me."

"Good...because...because I can't." Naruto's breath hitched, and Sasuke thought he might start crying again, but instead, he kissed Sasuke hard, crushing his lips, his tongue forcing its way into his surprised mouth, but after a moment, he recovered and responded in kind, finding that even after how upset he'd been so recently, he needed desperately to make love to him _right away_, needed to reassure himself in this most basic way that what was between them was still as strong and as intense as it had always been, that his need had not diminished since it had originally occurred to him his first year why it was he couldn't leave the blonde boy with a smile like sunshine alone. And Naruto, in turn...he needed to know that Naruto still loved him and needed him with that desperation that had been so strong even in their very first kiss that it had overwhelmed him and terrified him all at once until he learned to understand what it was he was feeling, to control it, and to properly channel it into something other than shock or alarm.

Naruto had lived his life before college without anyone to love him, without family of any sort, without anyone else who cared for him deeply. Sasuke was determined that the rest of his life, he would always have at least one person who placed him above all else. And he would be that person. Others, like Gaara or Sakura or any of the friends Naruto had made might come and go, but always, _always, _he wanted Naruto to know he never had to doubt, never had to worry, never had to fear being alone, because Sasuke would always love him, would always stay at his side.

_This was meant to be, after everything we've been through, for us to stay together, for us to still love each other this strongly...it must be destiny._

To think of what might have happened had they never met, to think of the man he would be now...those were things Sasuke didn't want to ever do, didn't want to ever consider. The thousand what-if's that had brought them here. What if Naruto or him had chosen a different school? What if they had been placed in separate dorms, or even separate floors? What if Sasuke had ignored that alien twinge, that crazy compulsion that had first fully seized him the night he fell out of the tree? What if Naruto had never bothered to question all the things he'd felt when Sasuke kissed him in that back room at the cafe? What if...what if _any_ of their fights or misunderstandings had ended in a real break up?

_I wouldn't be alive without him, without this feeling between us. Before...I know I walked around, I spoke, I did things, I shuffled through everything, doing what was expected as best I could, but not really caring one way or the other, but I wasn't really alive until that first kiss...and then, until he kissed me back, I thought I would die, after finally realizing what I wanted, after I finally found something worth caring about, something to make me want to try, want to live, want to be great._

_Want to be worthy of him..._

Naruto pulled at him, clinging and pleading for more no matter how much Sasuke gave, and he kept finding he had more in him. He bit the blonde and sucked at it, licking and pulling at the skin on his throat with his mouth, and instead of being hurt or seeming worried by the reminder of what had happened with Gaara, he arched into the touch, holding Sasuke's mouth and moaning for him to go on, to take everything, to keep going, always to keep going. And when Sasuke entered him, it felt so sweet, so amazing and so right, he thought he could just stay there without moving, but he _had_ to move, of course, and he did, and Naruto kept pleading for him to do _that_ more of that, wanting to hold him close but still wanting Sasuke to slam into him even though with their positions it was nearly impossible to get the leverage needed, but it didn't matter, he did everything he could, and though he worried he would never be able to satisfy Naruto when he was in this needy mood, it wasn't long before the blonde was leaking his pleasure, and soon, it was over, too soon, and he didn't really collapse on him, since he'd been held so close through it all, he had nowhere to go. But after all, that was the best place he could think to be. The only place he ever wanted to be.

----------

_I need to see you...to speak with you. Please come if you can._

That was what the text message had said. No further explanation, just a request for him to come over as soon as possible. Kiba's initial impulse had been to delete it, to forget he'd ever received it, but...no matter how he was hurting, no matter how badly she had crushed him, so he thought it was never possible for him to feel happiness or hope again...he couldn't say no when he knew she needed him.

_I need to see you._

He had felt a dread, walking here alone, that this was a trick. She hadn't sent the message at all; Kankurou had stolen her phone and sent it, wanting a chance to finish the fight they'd had before he left the house, when he had thought, ridiculously, foolishly, that she would see him hurt and be unable to stop herself from showing concern, from showing what love she still felt for him, and maybe...maybe forgiveness would finally come. But instead, she had only shown him contempt, and then he had finally known that there was no hope, it was really over. The next Monday, he'd gone to the housing office and told them he needed a spot immediately, told them it was desperate, that he'd sleep in a study if that was what it took until something else opened up. His wait had not been long, but had felt torturous, and in short order, he'd left the house, without saying anything, other than answering the questions he received from the few people who saw him on his way out...but most of all, he resisted the urge to say goodbye to Temari, to even write her a letter, or give a message to someone to pass to her. It was so tempting, to put in that one last attempt...but really, what was the point? It would fill him with useless hope, something she apparently delighted in destroying.

_Please come if you can._

But then, after he'd been gone for two weeks, after he'd finished his finals and packed his things to go home for winter break, to fake happiness for his parents and his siblings, who he _knew_ would ask about Temari, since he hadn't been able to bring himself to tell them anything yet...then, like a miracle, that text message had come.

He'd stared at it for ten minutes straight, thinking he was seeing things, and then finally, after deciding he had no choice but to respond, he had sent a quick response, only saying _I'll be right there_, nothing more was needed, was it? And of course she had to have known he would come. Of course, he would always come when she called, he would always do what she wanted, because he couldn't put conditions on his love the way she had seemed to be able to. And in the end...if she needed someone to talk to, someone to be there, even someone to yell at for no reason...that was what he would do. He would always try to be there when she needed him, no matter what cruel things she did or said. He couldn't...just _stop_ loving her. It wasn't as easy as that. And maybe...maybe it never would be. With time, the ache Hinata had left him with had faded and even scarred over, so that he could look at her and recognize what had been, but know that he wouldn't want it to go back. He wondered if he could hope to heal from this, as well.

And everything else aside...she'd been there for him when he had most needed someone. He could never forget that, no matter what had happened since then.

_Please_

So, terrified that the door would be answered by Gaara, who would surely not welcome him except for the chance to exact vengeance for what had happened, or that she would only laugh in his face and turn him away, saying it had only been a joke, after all...he gathered his courage and knocked on the door. He cringed when it opened, unable to stop himself from feeling as though he was about to be either emotionally or physically attacked. He felt this was a valid concern.

When he saw the face on the other side of that door, saw her impassive expression, he steeled himself for more hurtful words, prepared himself for a slap at the least, or...well, he wasn't even sure what the worst Temari could do to him was, but he was sure she would find it and do it if that's what she had called him over for. And he would take it, as always...he would bear the pain for her sake. He met her eyes, eyes he had come to love so much, that seemed to melt from dark grey to stormy blue when she felt something strongly, and so often when she looked at him...and was unable to read anything clearly there. She had never lost her ability to shield herself, but he had become so accustomed to her simply showing him what she was thinking or feeling freely, that to see her so guarded sent icy chills to his core.

Would it always be like this? Even before everything, when they'd only just been acquaintances through association of all the friends they shared, and he thought she'd felt little more than amused contempt or indulgence toward him depending on her mood, even then...she had never looked at him like this, and it hurt worse than any words she could say, worse than any blows she might have rained on him, had she let violent rage erupt, the way it so rarely did because of how desperately she strove to hide that passionate part of her nature, that part of her that was so like her brothers, but that she refused to recognize most of the time.

_She hates me now. Before, she felt nothing, and it didn't really bother me, because I didn't know...didn't know what could be between us. But now...now I wonder if her hating me is worth having had her love..._

That was stupid. He had a sudden flash of memory, her smiling up at him, cheeks red and eyes dark blue, dark like a midnight sky or like the deepest ocean, and the love clear in her expression...of course it had been worth it. Having love like that...even if this was the price, it was cheap for the time he'd been given with her.

That didn't make his heart sting less, but it helped to cool his blood a bit, helped him to see that it didn't really matter what she did to him now. Maybe if he could just pretend there had been many different Temari's, and the one he'd had was gone, and this was just another one, a separate one that looked the same and had all those memories but never...never felt the same as that other...maybe then he could bear it, to see that look aimed at him. If she had forgotten love so completely, then really...he should pity her.

Or envy her...he wasn't sure still.

"I...got your message." he stated the obvious, but the silence that had stretched between them was not the sweet silence it had once been, and he hadn't been able to stand it anymore, so he'd needed to break it, to say something...maybe she'd stop looking at him with such cold eyes, and he could think of something more clever to say, but for now, he knew very well he was at her mercy. "So...so I came."

"Come on." she reached out, almost as though she was going to take his arm, the way she once had, but she used her hand to shunt him aside instead, and pushed past him, smelling just as sweet as he remembered, her hair down...not like before, before they dated she'd always worn it up, had only worn it down for his sake, and that must just be an oversight on her part. She had grown so used to having it down she hadn't thought...but she was already down the stairs of the porch, walking to her car, and he followed her, because he had to, because he still had that compulsion, and he wasn't sure it would ever go away. Wherever Temari went, whenever she called, he would come.

----------

To be continued...


	26. Chapter 26

If I Fall

Chapter 26

----------

Shiori was talking to him, she was saying something while leaning over and pointing to the odd little diagrams she had drawn to help facilitate her explanation of the plans she thought they might employ. She was not at all like she had been from the first time they had spoken, and it was obvious that this was the _true_ Shiori, not the giggling and blushing facade he had been so thoroughly duped by. That had been a mask she had worn, a way of seducing him and securing her place here. From here she could...what? He still hadn't figured out what she wanted, but he had really only just learned that her ambitions were not simply to date him. He knew he should be offended that _he_ was the one being used, but after the initial shock had worn off, he had found he was simply intrigued.

More than that, he _needed_ to know what truly lay behind all this elaborate planning, what the hell it was she hoped to gain by securing her spot as his girlfriend, not just a girl he spent a night or two with before sending on her way...it was clear from her reaction the other day when he'd attempted to sever the link between them that being his _actual_ girlfriend was somehow key in her plan.

At first, he thought that she was simply after him, and that she had figured the best way to keep him was to outmaneuver him at this game he had been playing most likely longer than her. So she had anticipated the break up and bought herself time by _pretending_ to have something _else_ she wanted so that he would stay with her...and then she could pretend to help him with Suri, but secretly the whole time, she'd just be trying to make him love _her_ instead. Clever...

But no, that was too simple, and it was really silly, anyway. If she was desperate for him to love her, she would never have been so frank with him. She couldn't possibly think that he could really seriously care about someone so devious, someone who had insulted him right to his face and made it clear that his own desires were secondary to whatever it was she was after, to which ends he was only a temporary means.

Maybe if she took _any_ classes he had an interest or knowledge of, it could be she just wanted help with her homework, but that was idiotic. She already got all the help she needed from Shikamaru, and in any case, he had already known she was so smart she likely didn't even need _that_. And in any case, Kankurou was no philosophy student, and had no interest in becoming one. His knowledge of math and physics and the other focuses his engineering major had given him weren't likely to be any use to her.

So maybe it was his money, or maybe she needed protection from some clingy ex-boyfriend? He thought the latter more plausible, considering again her unadulterated honesty with him about her feelings toward him and how little his own concerns mattered to her, unless she could use them as a way to further her own aims. And now that her position had been threatened, she immediately applied herself to making herself as indispensable as possible. And as for the protection...well, frankly, she had seen him fight several of his friends furiously when he found out about Suri and Chouji, but before then...well, he wasn't known for getting in fights, and he had never really been one of the biggest or strongest on the campus. Hell, he was sure there were people in his own _house_ who were more use in a fight than him, if only because he would rather not risk himself. And she had to know that he was very unlikely to put his neck out for her sake.

Then what?

"So, what do you think?" she asked, her blue eyes flashing with intelligence and excitement. _She's more excited about plotting to break up Suri and Chouji than she's ever been about being around me._ He realized, feeling himself an utter fool for ever thinking she was serious about him. _Too smart, too pretty, I should have known she was too far out of my league, but I just thought...how lucky I was to get such an awesome girl._ But he'd never had her, not really, and even now, he didn't. Not really.

"Um, sounds pretty good." He decided to fake it, since he'd been too lost in his own thoughts to pay much attention to what she was saying, but she wasn't fooled for an instant, she smacked him upside the head and snatched her paper away, folding it neatly and sliding it into her purse before turning back to him.

"If you're too busy staring at me to concentrate on this, we're not going to get anywhere." she heaved a sigh, and instead of joining him on the couch they'd been sharing in the den, she strode over to his bedroom door and opened it, turning and snapping her fingers at him, a look of impatience clear on her face. "Come on, then. You always think better after you've got it out of your system."

"My...what?" Kankurou's eyes widened in disbelief. He knew what _he_ was thinking, but he seriously doubted that Shiori would really be proposing something like that after the revelations she had shared during his attempted break up with her. "I don't...um, what were you saying?"

"Sex, now, come on," she made a slashing gesture in the air, hands on her hips, and he goggled at her, thinking that maybe he had slipped into some crazy fantasy while she was talking to him about all the horrible things they could do to his housemate and his ex. "I don't have all year, let's do this so we can get to work. Don't you want to get her back already?"

"Um." Kankurou found he was saying that a lot these days.

"Then _come on_." she walked over, looking quite as annoyed as ever, not at all like someone who was suggesting sex or anything of the sort. She looked like someone who was about to smack him and leave, but instead...because he hadn't been paying attention, she was going to have sex with him? Even though he already knew she wasn't interested in him, even though he knew she didn't care one whit about him, only wanted him to help her in whatever it was she was trying to get.

"But...but you don't even..." Kankurou stumbled to his feet as she yanked his arm, even though he was pretty sure he outweighed her by at least sixty or seventy pounds. "You don't even _like_ me."

"Please, like that's ever been your primary concern." She shoved him into the room and he turned around in time to see her slam the door and kick off her shoes at the same time, advancing on him in a way that was very focused, very annoyed, very serious, and somehow...somehow...

_Why am I so turned on?!_

He yelped in shock as she yanked his pants down. "_This_ has always been your area of focus." she cupped him, and he felt oddly embarrassed as he went from half-hard to completely aroused with only the slightest encouragement from her soft, but firm grip. "And I can see that until this is happy, I'm not going to get any use out of you."

He should have been annoyed that she was being so dismissive, that she was having sex with him as some sort of...some tool or technique to get his attention. And he was _letting_ her, he was enjoying it! Sure, she'd always been good in bed, so it wasn't like that should be some surprise, but why would he want to sleep with her when he knew how she felt, how she _didn't_ feel? And this new Shiori, this _honest_ Shiori...he wasn't sure he liked her at all. She was a tricky little bitch, she was someone who wouldn't hesitate to use other people, to toy with them just to get whatever it was she wanted. So then why? Why was he doing this, why was he letting her do this to him? Someone like her, why would she even want to waste her time on this with him when she had made it perfectly plain that it wasn't even that great with him, and she didn't care about him at all _so why?!_

_And why do I care? I mean, sure, I want to know what she's up to...I feel like I _have_ to know. I mean, what is it that this girl...this crazy bitch, this amazing fucking genius girl...what does she want so bad she's willing to climb on top of me and stare down at me like she even _wants_ what I'm giving her. But still...other than Suri, have I really given two shits about what _any_ girl I was with wanted or whether or not they honestly meant anything they said, whether they cared about me at all or were just passing the time? Fuck, I knew half of them at least cared as little about me as I did about them, but it never bothered me before._

_It's just her...she's fucking with my head, making me want to know...I don't give a shit, why should I care? She's hot, she's good in bed, she wants to have sex, so why should I care _why_ she wants to? Never bothered me before. And fuck, she's even going to try and get Suri and me back together. Why do I gotta wonder about it? Why can't I just enjoy this?_

So he tried to, he ran his hands over her, he pulled her down and kissed her over and over, but the whole time he just kept wondering if she was even enjoying herself, or if this was just one more show she was putting on for him.

_I don't know what she wants, I don't know who she is, I don't even know if she's feeling anything right now. For all I know, those faces she's making, those noises, that's just to keep me happy, but she's sitting there thinking about what she wants for dinner tonight or some shit._

And he realized...he didn't like that. He didn't like that at all.

He still finished, and he felt deeply ashamed as she immediately stood to pull her clothes back on and retrieve her paper with its diagrams. And she was right, he did pay much better attention now. But he felt...wrong somehow.

He didn't think he could do that again. It was...painful somehow. It was fine when he didn't know it was a lie, but now...now he couldn't bring himself to have sex with her. It still felt just as good as always on the surface, but underneath that...it cost him too much.

When he told her his thoughts concerning her different stratagems, she watched him intently, and he thought she looked like she actually respected his opinion, but he couldn't really trust that, now could he? Not from her. And when he made a joke, a habit of his whenever he was uncomfortable, she laughed and it looked sincere. He smiled right back at her, but he felt horrible, he felt sick.

He thought he might cry.

He hoped she couldn't read him any better than he could read her.

-----------

Kiba woke up to the sound of his phone ringing, and he found himself momentarily confused as he realized he was alone, realized that he was in his cold, narrow, empty bed in the dorm he'd moved into after leaving the house, and of _course_ he had woken up alone. He'd been alone for over a month, it shouldn't come as a surprise anymore, but it still did. He found himself half-asleep, groping for the warm body in bed, looking around in confusion when there was no one there, wondering why he wasn't in his room, and realizing _all over again_ what had happened, where he was, and why that was no longer his room, that was no longer his girlfriend, and he had a lot more empty beds to look forward to.

This confusion took so long to clear that his phone went to voice mail, and he saw it had been his parents. They must be worried, since he'd told them he'd leave this morning, would be home by this afternoon, dinner at the latest and he was still here. But why had he...

_Oh my god...did any of that actually happen?_

He suddenly remembered, he'd been packing, he'd received a text from Temari, and he'd run to be by her side, the way she must have known he would. They'd gone out...to a bar, he recalled, and he had been so confused, but oddly hopeful. He couldn't help it, she was actually reaching out to him this time, so either she wanted to grind her heel in deeper or she was maybe thinking about working things out. So he waited for her to begin speaking, so he could understand what this was going to be, more hurt or maybe the beginning of some healing, finally.

She'd told him it was on her, and they'd ordered food and drinks. He could taste the liquor on his breath, so that must have happened, that must have all really happened...and there was her text, he clicked through his phone, finding it just to confirm he hadn't come up with an elaborate dream sequence. But the next part...she'd started talking, and it hadn't been necessarily about her, it hadn't been about him, or them, although she'd briefly mentioned how annoyed she'd been that he'd left without telling her, how betrayed she'd felt, how sad. She'd told him everything that had happened since they'd broken up, but it was clear to him that this wasn't about him, it wasn't about them, it was about her just _needing_ someone to listen, someone she could share all of her thoughts and concerns with, who would accept everything she said and not judge her, just listen, and maybe give some responses, but really...she just needed the acceptance. He had known her well enough and long enough to know that, and he had readily given what she needed.

She had leaned against him, as though she'd had too much to drink and needed the support as they left the bar, but she'd only had one drink. He'd had four, he'd been too nervous to stop, and if anyone was in danger of falling over, it was him. And then she'd told him she would drive him home, not to worry, if he could just tell her where he was staying now, and it hadn't seemed weird to him, the only thing he could think at the moment had been that she smelled like heaven, and that he hoped she would keep leaning on him like that, because where she touched him tingled and burned with desire that had only been heightened by their separation.

When they reached his dorm, she had insisted on seeing him to his room, saying he was a little tipsy, she didn't want him falling down the stairs or anything, and he'd directed her to where he was living now, and somehow...somehow...

The room still smelled of sex, so it _couldn't_ have been a dream, could it? And he could smell her on his spare pillow...she'd been there! They'd had sex! And she'd curled up in his arms afterwards, crying into his chest and clutching at him greedily, and he had wanted to stay awake and comfort her, but he must have drifted off, and now...now she was clearly gone, as though she'd never been here. But he was still naked, and it all fit...what had just happened? Were they back together now? Because if she had been drunk, then he would only feel like he had taken advantage of her, but she had been fine, had seemed totally lucid, even though she'd been acting a bit weird. But if they were back together, why had she left?

_Unless...unless she just got up to use the bathroom or something...or maybe she left a note. Maybe she had to be somewhere._

_At midnight? Yes, plenty of pressing engagements this time of night at the end of term._

He turned on the lamp, looking for a note, for something she'd left behind, anything to prove he wasn't out of his mind, but there was nothing of the sort. But the smell...he knew she'd been here, no matter the lack of physical evidence...wait, where was the condom? Because surely...

He rifled through his garbage, then pulled apart his bed, looking under his clothes, looking everywhere he could think...but he didn't see it anywhere.

_Hey genius, where would you have even found a condom? You threw all yours away like a fucking idiot when you were moving out of the house._

Well...maybe Temari had bought more. She wouldn't have sex with him without a condom...or would she? They'd switched to the pill a long time ago, but he still remembered how she'd insisted they both get tested before they leave off the condoms, and _obviously_ she knew that he'd slept with at least one person since they'd last been together, so of course, with how fastidious she was...

_Why am I so worried about the fucking condom? She's still probably on the pill anyway, and maybe she had a freaking nervous breakdown and just needed to have goodbye sex or something, or maybe she really _does_ want to get back together...I mean, tonight...tonight we..._

He couldn't sleep, he called his mother to say something had come up, and he'd be home later, or maybe not at all this year. The idea that he might have a chance with Temari was so great, so exciting that he didn't know what to do with himself. He wanted to see her, certainly, but he was nervous that if he showed up at the house unannounced, even after what happened last night, she'd revert to hating him or maybe not even see him, and then what?

_I have to be careful, I have to do this right. I can't push her too hard. I know how she is, and she hates having to change her mind. And if she's really changed her mind about me...I gotta let her take her own time admitting it. I can't push._

Still, it took every ounce of self-control not to call her, and when he received a text from her at ten in the morning, even though he'd been up all night, even though he should be exhausted, he was shaking with excitement while he showered and dressed and he couldn't wait for his chance to see her again.

_I'll be over in twenty, let me in._

That was all she'd sent, but he knew what it meant. She was coming to talk about last night, she wanted him back, or she thought she might, and she wanted to discuss it. He'd have be apologize about Hinata again, of course, that went without saying, and he'd have to be on his best behavior, but for the first time in over a month, he felt really happy. He could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Soon, soon Temari would look at him with the eyes he remembered, the eyes he loved so much.

-----------

"Don't you want to go outside?" Neji was wearing a pair of shorts, his hair pulled back in a loose tie as he stood in the middle of the hotel room, trying to entice Gaara out of bed. _I should be happy I can get him in _any_ bed. I'm so stiff from sleeping on the floor even for a few nights, I hope that getting away for a week or two helps him, or I'm just going to have to burn the old one and get a new one. I can't sleep on the floor forever, and it can't possibly be comfortable for him, either._

"No." Gaara answered simply, and Neji frowned, biting back the sigh that came to his lips. He knew how hard this was for Gaara, he knew he had to be patient and supportive, and he desperately hoped that he could help his lover through this. He knew that asking Gaara to see a psychiatrist wouldn't help, he'd suggested it once before, when they were first dating, before he knew why Gaara wouldn't sleep, back when he wouldn't, and the look of horror and betrayal on Gaara's face had been enough for him to drop the idea. Now that he knew enough of his past, Neji could see why the other man would shy away from professional help. Never mind that he had serious trust issues, and asking him to share his secrets with a stranger was something that could never end well, there were things in Gaara's past even his sister and brother didn't know, things that only he and Naruto knew any of, and he knew that if Gaara told _all_ of it, any professional would be under obligation to have him arrested, considering he had actually killed a man. Never mind that man had _clearly_ deserved much worse, in Neji's clearly unbiased opinion. He didn't want to risk that, and he knew it would likely make Gaara much worse before it made him any better. So it was up to Neji to do what he could himself.

"Just look out the window, then. Look how nice it is, it's so warm outside, and the ocean is beautiful," he smiled warmly and climbed on the bed, crawling over to Gaara and sitting beside him, stroking his hair lovingly. "It's almost as green as your eyes."

Silence greeted this, and Gaara turned away from him. That stung Neji, but he knew Gaara wasn't really trying to hurt him. He couldn't take it personally. He had to be warm, but he also had to stay strong if he was going to draw Gaara out of the shell he had formed since the incident with Naruto. He was very quiet most of the time, and while he hadn't seemed so terrified of things once they left the house, he was silent the whole way to the airport. He slept through most of the flight, and Neji had taken that as a good sign. He needed to rest, to relax, to know he was cared for and learn to live with what had happened, learn not to treat himself so harshly, to judge himself so critically at every stumble, every mistake. He refused flatly to hear anything about Naruto not being that upset, about Naruto saying it was fine, saying it hadn't hurt, saying he was okay. He nearly started hyperventilating again when Neji, sick of trying to convince Gaara he wasn't just making things up, had tried to have Naruto come talk to him, and Neji'd had to push the blonde back out of their room, saying that Gaara wasn't ready for that yet, and trying not to let that concerned blue gaze make him feel too inadequate.

Now, at least he didn't have to worry about Gaara seeing Naruto and regressing further into his self-constructed prison of guilt and shame, but he certainly didn't seem to have any enthusiasm for anything. Sleeping was about all he would do, and he either refused to respond to Neji's affectionate words or would give monosyllabic responses to whatever he said, not exactly making Neji feel great about himself, nor about his ability to help his lover. It hurt to tell Gaara how much he loved him to have the redhead simply nod while staring blankly at the wall or turn away, as though he didn't want to deal with being loved.

"Gaara, please," Neji kicked off his sandals, since clearly Gaara wasn't interested in going to the beach, and moved around so he could get under the blankets and snuggle against his lover. "Please look at me. I love you so much, and it hurts to see you this way. Please let me help you." he pressed a kiss to the back of the pale neck in front of him. "Please." he repeated, his voice a whisper, and he let out a sigh of relief when Gaara turned toward him, his eyes still blank and guarded...but still...

"I love you so much," he repeated, wondering if Gaara was starting to doubt the sincerity of the words considering how many times he'd told him that over the past few days, but it was something he thought Gaara needed to hear, needed to understand and believe. Neji couldn't let him think he was horrible, couldn't let him believe he wasn't worth anyone's time or effort. Surely, if he still loved and respected Neji, he must think that the amount of energy Neji was putting into this meant Gaara wasn't as bad as he thought himself to be. "Do you love me?" There was a pause, as though Gaara was fighting some internal debate, and Neji tried not to feel the sting of that hesitation.

"Yes." he answered, and Neji couldn't believe how good it was even to hear that grudging one word answer. He laughed without knowing why, clasped the sides of Gaara's face and kissed him so thoroughly he actually elicited a noise of pleasure from the redhead, the first sign of anything but horror and guilt since that ill-fated morning. "Yes," he sighed his eyes closed and his lips swollen when Neji pulled away, and he couldn't resist that look of bliss, to know that despite the way he was trying so desperately to drown himself in self-loathing and guilt, he couldn't help but respond to Neji's kiss. He had to do it again. Pressing his body to Gaara's, amazed at how _good_ it felt to be this close to him he pulled the face back to his, one hand caressing the side of his throat while the other moved down, grabbed Gaara's limp arm and draped it over his hips, thinking Gaara might pull away, but instead, his hand gave a little spasm before curling against his hip, shaking slightly and letting his fingertips bite into the soft skin that was pulled taut over bone and muscle, edging beneath the waistband of his shorts as Neji, encouraged by this, slipped his own hand down the small of Gaara's back, into his underwear and squeezed the gentle curve of his buttocks.

For the space of ten seconds, while Gaara moaned and bucked against him once, becoming aroused so fast it was nearly alarming, Neji thought that he had finally found a way to reach the other man, but when his hand moved around to caress the hot flesh between Gaara's legs, his body shook violently and he shrieked, pulling away so fast he became tangled in the blanket and fell in a heap on the floor. He gave Neji one look of wordless horror and then rushed into the bathroom, leaving the blanket and an alarmed Neji behind as he locked himself in.

"Gaara!" Neji had a wild fear that Gaara was going to climb out the window and make a break for it, but even as unlikely as this was, he wasn't sure leaving the redhead locked in _any_ room by himself was a very good idea, so he scrambled out of bed and raced to the door, knocking and jiggling the handle in the hopes that it wouldn't be properly locked, after all. "Gaara, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry!"

_Idiot! What were you thinking? Of course he wasn't in the mood for that, it could be ages before he wants to even think about having sex again. _He berated himself and looked down at his own half-hard erection with chagrin and shame. _He'll be terrified of me now, won't want me to come near him, all because I wanted to get a little action._

"Gaara, please, I'm sorry! Just say something!" he continued knocking on the door, and pressed his ear to it, straining to hear something, anything.

At first, after the noise that had just exploded in their room, it was impossible to hear anything, but then he thought he heard Gaara's voice, just barely, but...

_He's crying. Great job, Neji. Once again, you let your dick fuck you over and totally screw everything up._

"Gaara, love, don't cry," he felt heat forming in his own eyes as he heard an unmistakable sob. "Please, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, I was only trying...I'm an idiot, please, don't hide from me. I need to see you, need to know you're all right, because I love you...like I said, I love you...so much." his voice trailed off, sounding wasted and useless to his own ears, and he heard another sob, something like a sniffle, and then...what was that?

Rhythmic...a soft slapping noise...was he hitting himself? No...it wasn't quite...

_What the hell? Is he masturbating in there? And crying?_

He strained to hear, and the next sob was mingled with a moan, sounding terrifying and sexy all at once. Neji's eyes went wide and he slid down the door, unable to keep himself up.

_Okay, I'm officially in over my head. I have no idea what the fuck to do about this._

But who could he ask for help? He couldn't really involve a professional, as soon as they found out the details of Gaara's past, his lover would have much bigger problems than dealing with arousal by doing...whatever he was doing in the bathroom at the moment. And even if he could call Naruto and ask him for help, knowing Naruto at least knew all the issues behind this break down, he really wasn't sure Naruto would help. Likely he would just freak the blonde out, and he'd sit in his room blaming himself until Sasuke figured out part of it and redoubled his no doubt already great desire to beat the living crap out of both Gaara and him.

_I'm just going to have to figure it out. I'm the only one who can, now, and if I can't do it without making him freak out and get worse...like I just did, then _I'm_ the one who doesn't deserve _him._ No matter what he thinks..._

"Oh, Gaara," he breathed, curling his fingers against the locked door and feeling tears trickle down his cheeks. "Please...let me in." he wasn't sure if he meant into the bathroom, or if he wanted Gaara to open to him emotionally...but he supposed it was both. He could still hear what was happening, and was surprised that he wasn't turned on by the huffing panting and the soft slapping noise, now that he knew what it was, could picture it, but then again, knowing that Gaara was miserable, knowing that he was crying, either from shame or...well, Neji wasn't really sure, he had never felt like crying while he was masturbating, but that was just him. Maybe it wasn't as weird as it seemed...

"Ah...ah...fuck!" Neji felt heat pool in his groin as the sounds sped up and Gaara finished. He stood then, hoping that Gaara would come back out of the bathroom, but there was a sob so loud he could have probably heard it even if he hadn't been right at the door, followed by another, and another, and Neji could see Gaara was going to sit in there alone, crying himself out without bothering to let Neji in. Who knew how long he'd stay in there?

That was when Neji first thought of breaking in, just to make sure he was alright, to make sure he didn't hurt himself. At first, it seemed silly, it seemed like too much...and he might just scare Gaara. But then he realized that at this point, it might be worth it to see what trying force would do, since nothing else had worked. None of his coddling, none of his constant reassurance, no logic or explanation or anything had gotten through to his lover.

And hell, if he couldn't fight for this, what could he fight for? Plus...if he broke in, the worst Gaara could do was hide from him again, and this was the only door that locked in the room, other than the main one, and Neji felt reasonably sure that no amount of terror or surprise would send Gaara out to where people could see him in only his underwear, not considering what he was going through. Or possibly Gaara would attack him, but Neji was also confident in his ability to handle that situation, if it arose. It wouldn't be the first time he got in a physical altercation with the redhead, and they were well matched in that area.

He frowned at the door, then knocked on it again. "Gaara, if you don't open up, I'm breaking this door in." he spoke loudly, firmly, and as calmly as he could. "I'm going to count to five."

There was a soft sniffling, but he couldn't hear any movement from inside the room. _He doesn't think I'll do it._ He realized, shaking his head and pursing his lips. Truthfully, much as he didn't want to risk scaring him, the amount of frustration he was feeling meant that this would be something of a relief to be able to vent some of it. "One," he began, making sure to keep his tone from wavering. "Two," he thought he heard something, so he paused, but there was only silence on the other side of the door. At the very least, Gaara was paying attention, paying such close attention he'd stopped crying so he could know what was happening. "Three," he went on. "Four." Another long pause. He was vaguely shocked he had actually made it this far. "Five." He stepped back a few paces and grabbed a shirt, pulling it on. He figured that way, if the door broke in the middle instead of on the jamb, he wouldn't get splinters. Still, he couldn't help being surprised that Gaara was actually pushing him to this point, but then a bit of insight struck him.

_It's not me he's afraid of. It's himself...the things he wants, he doesn't think he can control himself. That's why...that's why he was so afraid of Naruto, when he was the attacker in the first place. And now...I got him excited, and he _wanted_ to do something, but he's still afraid he'll lose control, afraid of what will happen if he does...that's what this is. He's afraid of himself, and ashamed of himself._

Pleased with himself for figuring this out, Neji hopped up and down a couple times to get ready for what he was about to do, then ran at the door full tilt, his head tucked down and his shoulder leading. The door didn't break down, but there was a satisfying cracking noise, and Neji could only imagine how surprised Gaara must be. _I've been so gentle this whole time, of course he didn't think I'd do it. Well...if this is what it takes, I'll cut the nice crap out for now._ He took another run at the door and this time it crashed open, the jamb cracking and splitting under the force he'd placed on it, the door itself still whole and attached to its hinges. Neji caught himself short so he didn't run into the shower and saw Gaara peering at him from inside the stall, his face clearly shocked, but not as terrified as Neji had originally thought he might be.

"N...Neji..." he blinked at his lover in surprise. "You...broke the door."

"I said I would." Neji's breathing slowed, but his pulse was still up, so his face was flushed, and he felt surprisingly good for someone who had just crashed into a wooden door twice. "Now come on."

"I..." Gaara licked his lips, cowering back in the corner, and Neji pursed his lips, opened the stall, and stepped inside. Gaara was now completely naked, his discarded underwear outside the stall on the rug, but Neji was not about to let that distract him. "D—don't touch me!" he flailed wildly, trying to startle his lover, but Neji had expected this, to some degree, so he merely deflected the halfhearted blows and stepped forward, grabbing Gaara, who struggled in a panic, and likely would have knocked him down as he tried to get away, but Neji immediately responded to this by ducking down and lunging forward, wrapping his arms around the surprised redhead's legs and hefting him up in a fireman's carry. "S—stop! Let me go! Put me down! _Don't touch me!_" Gaara was certainly fighting him now, his fists were raining blows on Neji's back, and one nearly made his legs buckle. He kept a firm grip on the legs, at least he wasn't getting kicked, and carried Gaara back to their bed, flinging him down hard enough to give the redhead pause. "You...you..." he sputtered, clearly not sure of what to say, his eyes still rolling in panic, but with Neji now sitting down calmly on the bed, he seemed at a loss as for what he should do. "I...said..."

"Yeah, I heard you." Neji shook his head and sighed, grabbing the phone on the bedside stand and looking at the reference card next to it. "Look, I'm going to call up some room service. I can see you don't want to go out, so we'll just eat in here."

"You...I don't...don't want..." Gaara had been breathing very fast, but he was calming down somewhat, he was no longer scrabbling uselessly against the bedspread, and had slowed his trembling enough to get up on his knees and scoot to the far corner of the bed. "Don't...don't touch me." his voice cracked as he spoke, and Neji, who had been about to dial out slammed the receiver down and turned on him, setting the phone aside for now. Gaara jumped slightly in surprise. Clearly he was learning that the infinitely patient Neji was no longer what he was dealing with.

Neji wanted to hold him down, to force him to deal with what he felt when they were close, to _make_ him lose his precious control, to show him that nothing had changed between them, and it didn't have to. And maybe, in the end, that was what he would have to do to drive this point home, but not now. Not after he'd only just shown Gaara he would fight this with actual force if required, not when he was feeling angry, because then...then it wouldn't be an act of love, and if anything, he'd just make everything immeasurably worse. And to have Gaara tell him not to touch him like that...to hear that...it hurt, and it did make him angry, at the same time. He didn't want to redirect that in such a way. He needed to be forceful, that was clear, but he couldn't forget to be calm, couldn't forget to be gentle when the time came for that, as well.

"Look," he finally spoke, Gaara staring at him warily. "I don't know what you think has been going on between us for the past three and a half years, but you've never had any complaints about being touched by me before, whether it's like that, or something softer." he reached out his hand, gently running fingertips over the top of Gaara's foot, which he thought was probably about the safest place to touch, but still resulted in a flinch from the other man. "And I know you're afraid of what would happen, afraid you can't control yourself, but I'm here to tell you that I'm your lover, and you shouldn't _have_ to control yourself. I don't want you to. If you want to hit me, then do it. That's fine, I'm tough. If you want to kiss me, do that. And if you want to flip me over and fuck me until I scream, then I'm saying, go ahead and _do it_. I _want_ you to. Don't you think I want you to?" Gaara let out a weird sort of keening noise and cowered into himself further, somehow seeming smaller than before. "So _don't_ tell me not to touch you. Don't say it unless you don't want me touching you ever again, unless you don't love me anymore, and you don't want to be with me. Is that what this is, because if that's what you're working your way up to, just tell me now so we can both spare ourselves the torture."

"N...no." Gaara answered after a long pause in which it was clear an answer was expected.

"Good," Neji smiled softly at him, but then his face hardened again. "Consider this your warning. The next time you run away from me, I'm not letting you go. I'm going to _force_ you to face me, to face yourself. So you better get used to the idea or deal with it on your own fast, because I will _not_ stop touching you. So don't say that again." Gaara looked stark and terrified at the prospect, but when Neji turned to order room service, Gaara moved forward, interjecting suggestions, and Neji couldn't stop himself smiling as he amended his order.

Finally, some progress.

----------

To be continued...


	27. Chapter 27

If I Fall

Chapter 27

----------

"Need help with that?" Naruto saw Sakura hefting her bag and she turned on him, smile tremulous and eyes bright as she nodded emphatically. He lifted the small suitcase she was taking for the time that Sai and her were leaving to visit their parents during break, finalizing wedding plans and generally visiting. Tenten and Shino had left the house the night before, and Naruto knew that Ino and Shikamaru had gone because of how quiet the house was without Aki around. _Not that Ino isn't loud enough on her own._ Although...so far, this pregnancy seemed to be going much better than the previous one. After everything that had been happening lately, Naruto thought that a basket case Ino was about the last thing he needed to worry about. "It'll be weird with everyone gone this week...er, couple of, well, you know. I think it's been kinda quieter around the house since Kiba left. You know, I saw him a week ago, and he seems pretty--"

Naruto was cut off mid-ramble by Sakura, who had just lunged at him, hugging him so hard he lost his breath for a moment.

"Um..." he wasn't sure how to set down the bag to hug her back, since it would require him to either drop it a couple feet and hope there was nothing breakable inside, or to bend in a way made rather difficult with the woman clinging to him as though her life suddenly depended on it. "Um, is everything okay?" he knew that a few days ago, before he'd talked to Sasuke, he'd felt basically like he needed a hug more than anything, he was so scared and depressed thinking of what would happen when he came clean. Now that it had worked out, with the main side-effect of his encounter being a slightly more clingy and affectionate Sasuke (which didn't really seem like much of a bad thing) he felt it was his duty to give comfort to any of his housemates who might be suffering through some situation of their own in silence.

"It's...it's fine." she pulled away after a final squeeze and he was relieved to see that she was actually beaming at him. "I just...you know, I was packing, and it got me thinking. In another five months, I'll be packing _everything_, you know, and we'll all be moving out, and it's not like we won't ever see each other again, but..."

"I know." he smiled softly down at her and squeezed her shoulder with his empty hand. "But don't worry, my boyfriend's loaded. We'll visit you all the time. Or maybe I'll visit and he'll grumble and pretend he isn't glad to see you."

"That sounds more likely." she giggled and followed him toward the stairs. "Sorry to get all...emotional, you know, I think knowing that I'm going to see Sai's parents gets me wound up. His mother..."

"It's okay," Naruto glanced over his shoulder reassuringly as he unlocked the baby gate, which was left up after Aki left since she'd be back soon anyway. "I know you want his family to like you, but sometimes you kind of have to come to terms with the fact that no matter what, at least _he_ still loves you, right?"

"Oh, I know, I shouldn't try for sympathy on this with you, you've got to deal with crazy stalker weirdo brother." Sakura reflected. Naruto grimaced, knowing she didn't know the full extent of things between Sasuke, Itachi, and him, and thinking it was better that way, since it didn't really come up often enough for him to justify going through explaining it to every one of his friends. Gaara knew, of course, which meant that Neji might know, or perhaps not, since he hadn't ever told Sasuke about Gaara and his uncle, feeling it wasn't really his place to share it, and he couldn't imagine Gaara would be too excited for Sasuke to know _everything_ about him. And it wasn't as if he had told Gaara everything, either, so in the end...

_Maybe stop thinking about Gaara and Sasuke's secrets and who you choose to share them with and focus on the person freaking out about her future mother-in-law._

"No, it's okay." Naruto told her. "Plus, it's totally different. I mean, Sasuke never wanted to spend time with his brother even before we were together, so it's not like he's really making a choice. And I mean...she lets you in the house, so even if she acts horrible, you can see that she knows Sai's more important than whether or not she really likes you." Sakura's brow furrowed and Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry, that probably doesn't make you feel any better."

"No...no, I see what you're saying, and I agree with you." she gave a little nod and re-locked the gate while he set her bag down near the door. "I just...ugh, it's not fair! My parents _love_ him. Why can't everyone just get along?"

"Sakura, maybe give her a few years, and she'll forget to hate you, and figure out you're actually really awesome." Naruto gave her a hug, now that his hands were free. "And you make Sai happy, so really, she can't help liking you in the end. Come on, don't you remember how Temari was about Neji our first year? Now they're like..."

"I _wish_ his mother had half the good sense of Temari." Sakura pulled away and flushed. "Don't tell Sai I said that."

"It's okay, your secret's safe with me." he assured her, and she bounced on her heels a little, as though wanting to say something else, so he waited, but instead of saying anything, she grabbed him around the neck and kissed him, a friendly kiss, but enough to surprise him.

"Hey, hey!" Sasuke's voice was enough to cause Naruto to literally leap backwards while pushing away, nearly causing Sakura to fall over before she regained her balance. "I think you've got your own guy for that." he opened the gate with more force than necessary and went straight to Naruto's side, shooting the pink-haired girl a glare for good measure. "Stay away from him."

"It wasn't—" Naruto began, but Sasuke turned on him, eyes flashing with concern and anger and jealousy, and when he lifted his hand, Naruto half-thought he was going to hit him, but instead, the fingers touched the side of his face softly, and it felt so intimate he flushed brilliantly red and felt his heart nearly stop. He knew he had been saying something, but all he could think of now was how amazing Sasuke looked, and how intensely he was looking right at him, drawing him in, drowning him in emotions that he reserved only for Naruto so often it was no wonder they built up like this.

"I'm sorry, it wasn't anything like that!" Sakura was giddy, either still nervous or embarrassed or both. She giggled and shook her head. "I wouldn't...well, we were just talking, he was wishing me luck with Sai's mom and all, and I...oh, Sasuke, I'll miss you _too_!" she lunged forward, and hugged Sasuke even though he was still staring at Naruto as though trying to be sure nothing was wrong with the blonde, and the transformation of his face was amazing, and nearly caused Naruto to burst out laughing at the shock and dismay that swept over his visage at once. "Even when you're a grump who pretends all you care about is who spends time with Naruto!"

"Um." Sasuke twisted a little, grimaced down at her, and then shot Naruto a look clearly pleading with him to detach this girl from him. "She's...hugging me."

"She's been doing that." Naruto nodded, biting back his laughter. "You hug her back." he advised, and Sasuke gave him a look of such hurt betrayal that he really _did_ start laughing.

"Oh, hello," Sai's voice caused them all to look up at the stairs, where he was coming toward them with his own suitcase. To Sasuke's intense relief, Sakura left him alone to help her fiance with his things. "I see you have located Naruto and Sasuke. You are saying goodbye?"

"She _kissed_ Naruto." Sasuke was feeling much better now that Sakura wasn't touching him.

"Oh please, you know that wasn't a real kiss." Naruto rolled his eyes, also having regained his composure thanks to Sakura's intervention. "If you want me to give her a _real_ kiss--"

"Thank you, I will be the only one giving Sakura the real kisses." Sai did not seem upset to see Sakura hugging her old crush, nor to hear she had been kissing Naruto, but then again...after all these years, he had gained confidence, that was for sure. "Would you like one right now, dear, or shall we wait until we get everything to the car?"

"Since when have I turned down any offer of a kiss from you?" she opened the gate for him and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him with gusto. Naruto coughed uncomfortably and looked away.

"Do you have to do that _right_ here?" Sasuke was still not in a very good mood. Now that he had recovered, he knew it had been silly to get jealous of Sakura, but still...a few weeks ago he would have sworn he could trust Gaara with Naruto no matter what. How wrong he had been...

"I'm sorry, did Mr. How-Many-Rooms-Can-I-Have-Sex-In-Before-I-Graduate just call _me_ out for PDA?" Sakura turned after pulling back from her kiss. Naruto snorted with laughter, but at least had the grace to look embarrassed. "Yeah, everyone knows, and forget it, Neji and Gaara beat you guys; Kankurou says they hit every room before everyone even moved in sophomore year. From the look on Temari's face, he wasn't just making that up."

"You...are too cheerful today." Sasuke's retort was weak at best. "Have...go have your trip."

"Thanks, I'll miss you too!" she giggled, and just to fluster him, caught Sasuke by surprise with a quick peck on the cheek as he attempted to storm back upstairs past Sai and her.

"Sorry about that." Naruto didn't bother to hide his smile as he hugged Sakura quickly and then hugged Sai as well. "Really, I think that translated to 'have a good trip, can't wait to see you again, glad to see you looking so happy.' or something like that."

"That's about what I got." Sakura shrugged and wrapped her arms around Sai, just because she felt like it. He looked rather pleased with himself, and Naruto was surprised to see her so affectionate, but at the same time, her nerves were overwrought today, and the man next to her was the only reason she was going through the trial of that crazy woman he called mother. So in a weird way, it made some sort of sense. "I've learned a little Sasuke-speak after all these years, you know."

"Still, have a good trip, you two." he waved then paused on his way up the stairs. "You'll be back for New Years though, right?"

"Of course." Sai nodded, and Sakura flushed as though very pleased, which Naruto attributed to the fact that Sai had, of course, first proposed to her on New Years two years ago. It must be nice to finally be that close to getting married after all that time. Naruto went up the stairs quickly, wanting to make sure that Sasuke wasn't forever traumatized by being kissed on the cheek by a bubbly Sakura, but he should have realized of all the things to bother him, that would be low on the list. As soon as he entered the room, Sasuke was on him, pulling him to the bed, kissing him over and over again, gently, but insistently, his eyes burning, his hands moving greedily to uncover skin.

"Sasuke," Naruto wasn't one to complain about the attention, but he wasn't oblivious to what was going on here. "Are you...going to tell me you're jealous of Sakura?" There was a pause, but Sasuke didn't say anything, just returned to his quest of kissing every inch of Naruto's throat, since he'd made short work of his face, his fingers unfastening Naruto's jeans deftly. "Sasuke...stop...stop doing that and talk...talk about your problems for once instead of—ah!" he gasped as Sasuke finished with the jeans and shoved his hand in Naruto's pants, cupping him firmly, possessively, as he continued his assault on the blonde's throat. "Nn...Sasuke...come on..." Naruto reached down trembling hands and pushed Sasuke away, knowing before he saw it that Sasuke's reaction would be hurt. At least with his hands and his mouth under control, Naruto could think properly. "You know, having sex with me isn't the answer to _everything_. You're just going to stew if you don't talk about it."

"Sorry to _bore_ you." Sasuke scowled and rolled away, facing the wall and sulking, clearly not happy. Naruto heaved a sigh and reached over, hugging his lover from behind, nuzzling the back of his neck.

"You weren't boring me, I think you know that." he ground his hips forward for emphasis and wasn't able to hold back the hiss that escaped him at the delicious friction of his heated skin against Sasuke's denim clad ass. "And I know it would have made you feel better for a little bit, but don't you just want to talk about this and be done with it? Then we can just make love for the sake of making love, not because you need to lay your claim on me.

"I'm _not_ jealous." Sasuke flipped over then, his face petulant. "Can't I just be in the mood sometimes?"

"I can tell the difference." Naruto told him in a dry tone. "Seriously, we've been together over three years and you think I still have no idea what you're thinking _ever_? Clearly you don't love me for my brains."

"Don't." Sasuke frowned. Naruto shrugged, knowing Sasuke didn't like when he joked that he was dumb, possibly especially since Sasuke used to call him an idiot to get his temper up before they were friends, before they figured out why it was they couldn't leave each other alone. "Okay, fine, it's not...okay, it's not like I'm jealous of Sakura. I mean, it's _Sakura_."

"Right." Naruto prompted him to continue, and Sasuke's eyes dropped, his lashes, long and dark and gorgeous, pressed against his pale cheeks, and Naruto didn't even feel his breath catch. He was so used to having Sasuke make him feel that way over and over again, it wasn't something that shocked him the way it once had. He noticed it more when Sasuke wasn't there, when he couldn't feel that need, it just made him want to be near him, to have a million heart-stopping moments a day with this man who had come to mean so much to him. He just knew that he needed to touch Sasuke then, and he did, brushing his thumb over his cheek, finding it smooth and freshly shaved, amazingly soft.

"And I trust you. I always trust you, you know that," Sasuke pressed on his fingers finding Naruto's navel, tracing around it, brushing over it in a way that was surprisingly not sexual, just comforting and sweet and...oddly adorable. "I do. But I keep getting...really worried. About stupid things. Because...well, I mean, a month ago, if you asked me if I trusted you with Gaara, I'd say yes, and if you asked if I trusted _Gaara_ with you, I'd say of course, he'd never...he'd never hurt you, or do anything he shouldn't because I know how he cares about you, I know the way he feels, I can see it, everyone can see it." Naruto wanted desperately to speak then, to reassure him that he could still trust, but he knew that if he spoke, this conversation would end, but it wouldn't really be over for Sasuke. Now was the time to just listen. "And...I knew when we ended...things, it would be hard for him, and maybe he'd fight it, but I still didn't think he'd do something...like that. Because...because I couldn't handle seeing you two together...I just...just wish I could protect you from _me_. Every horrible thing that happens, it's always because of me, because of my stupid...stupid selfish crap..." he trailed off here, his fingers curling away from Naruto's exposed stomach, and he rubbed the fist over his downcast eyes, his body shuddering as he struggled to control the urge to cry. "All I want...is for you to be happy, and I fuck everything up, all I do...all I ever do...and...and when you see that, when you finally realize...I'll lose you and I can't...I can't..." now his whole body curled in, his hands pressed to his eyes as a sob wracked his frame, and Naruto could see that the time for listening was over.

"No," he assured Sasuke softly, wrapping his arms around the shaking frame and pulling him close. "No, you're wrong. You don't control everything. You know I couldn't handle sharing you any more than you could handle sharing me, we _both_ decided that. And I was the nosy ass who had to go bothering Gaara at the worst possible moment." he heaved a sigh. "And he _didn't_ hurt me. It was scary at first, but it was just...I mean, I knew I shouldn't be doing it, so I mean, I guess he kind of hurt my feelings, but not as badly as he hurt _yours_. You're making it seem like I get hurt over and over by whatever happens between us, and _sometimes_, sometimes I am hurt, but it's not something that won't heal, it's never something that isn't worth _being_ here with you. Don't you get that? And blaming yourself for every problem we've ever had isn't going to make me leave you. Nothing's going to do that. I'd think you'd have that figured out by now. You can't make me go, so you'll just have to deal with it, and if I do stupid shit that gets me in trouble, and you don't ditch me, then your only thing to worry about is how many times you'll have to forgive me for the same kind of stuff. So don't do this. Don't try to take it all on, because that's not fair, and you know it." Naruto sighed as Sasuke slowly stopped crying and instead hugged him back, his arms holding so tight that Naruto was tempted to joke that he wouldn't be able to leave if he wanted to with a grip like that, but it didn't really seem the time.

He wasn't sure if this was going to be the end of it, but he could tell when Sasuke fell asleep in his arms, this was at least the beginning of the end. And when he woke up, they made love slowly, just for the sake of making love, and it was amazing. But then, everything Sasuke did was amazing in Naruto's opinion.

-----------

"So are you going home at all?" Kankurou was watching Shiori touch up her make up, a strangely hypnotic process.

"Tonight? I can, I didn't think." she shrugged. "Did you want sex before I go back to my dorm?"

"No, I didn't mean _that_." Kankurou went red and promptly turned away. It could _not _get out that a damn first year was making him blush. It would ruin his reputation. "I mean...we could, I didn't...but no, I mean...I just mean, like, don't you have a family expecting you or whatever? Since it's break."

"You're still here." she responded matter-of-factly, and Kankurou's eyes bugged out. Did she even _think_ of these things before she said them? "I know you have at least your mom, right? You said your dad died some years ago, though. What about other siblings? Are there any pre-adolescent Kankurou's preparing for their entry into the world of drinking and women?"

"That's...not like _all_ I ever..." he blustered a bit before recovering himself and turning back, watching the way her mouth opened slightly while she brushed her mascara wand over her lashes. "No, I don't have any other brothers or sisters. And my mom's a royal bitch, so it's not really like every year she invites us to come curl up by a fire and read stories or shit with her. We're only her kids when it's convenient, like when she's trying to get as much money as possible from my dad." he watched her in silence for a moment as she finished with her face and began examining her hair, which appeared perfect to him, but apparently needed some tweaking from the way she was messing with it. "But still...I mean, you never talk about your family? Are you like an orphan like Naruto, or just--"

"No, I have both parents and two younger siblings." she turned her head for a better angle, "brothers, one in high school, one still in junior high. Everything's fine at home, really, but I have things to do here. Don't I?" she gave him a saucy smile, and he desperately wanted to take her right then, feelings be damned. "Now grab that dress." she discarded the robe she'd been wearing, and Kankurou jumped to his feet so fast he felt the world spin a little as he recovered the garment bag hanging on the door, unzipped it and looked inside.

"Hey, I've never seen _this_ before." he was a little annoyed she was bringing out her really sexy clothes _now_.

"Well, I didn't really have a reason to...whatever, I'll let you help me pick out what I wear for New Years. Do you guys usually dress up?" she asked as she held up her hands so he could slip the dress over her, which was a shame, as it utterly ruined the view. She was even wearing matching underwear!

"No but...um...but if I give Temari the idea, she'll get all pumped, and then we _will_." Kankurou's face lit slowly. "Man, and I dress up way nicer than freaking Chouji. Good idea!" she turned and lifted her hair, and he zipped her up without further prompting. "Hey, ya know...it's cool having someone to help me come up with this shit."

"No problem." she whirled around and winked at him, eyes flashing and her hair glistening, the red silk dress hugging her form perfectly. Kankurou wondered quite suddenly if she really felt any camaraderie with him, or if everything she did, down to the wink and her sudden tip-toed kiss on the tip of his nose, was all part of an act. She was after something, after all, and he was, in some way he had yet to understand, just a tool to her. Not a lover, not even a friend.

"Hey," he grabbed her arms, more firmly than he'd meant to, and she let out a little gasp, and he wondered if _that_ was real. Had anything she'd ever said or done, any face she'd made or sound she'd uttered been truthful and honest? Or was it really all an act, some sort of mask to help her reach her goal. "What is it, anyway? What do you want with me?"

"For now, let's stick to one intrigue, let me worry about mine later." she gave him a hesitant smile, and he felt his heart lurch painfully. "Come on, then. I'm almost on. Tell me what you think, will it be better if I look like I've been crying or not? Oh, _or_, I could fake crying as he came in."

"Maybe...maybe like you haven't been crying, and you're pissed." Kankurou considered.

"Pissed enough to cheat on my boyfriend!" she snapped her fingers and patted his cheek, turning as though that whole moment had never happened, but Kankurou could still feel the burn of her skin on his palms. "Hey," she turned at the door, hand on the knob, and Kankurou felt a bizarre moment of...what? He wasn't sure.

"Y—yeah?" he asked.

"I can see you like the dress." she told him. "We can fuck in it later, if you want. But you're footing the dry cleaning bill."

"Um...oh." he felt like an idiot as she swept out of the room. Why should it bother him that she didn't really feel anything for him? At least he still got to sleep with her. And now, she was helping him get what he wanted. But the more he thought about their current scheme, the more uneasy he felt. Talking about her seducing Chouji had seemed so clever when they were discussing it alone, but now that _he_ was alone left to speculate as to how well she was doing, how convincing she was, it didn't seem that great anymore. They had agreed she would be dressed up, that she would say that Kankurou and her were meant to go on a date, but he told her he had other things to do, and of course Chouji would want to comfort her, and it was only inevitable that she would be able to take that _too_ far.

"_And even if barely anything happens, you know he'll feel so guilty he'll tell Suri right away. And that's that."_

It had seemed so simple when she explained it, and Kankurou had even added in that he should use the opportunity to go over to see Suri and Shizuka, had in fact called over before Shiori showed up with her dress and her other accoutrement, asking if he could see his daughter, which Suri had agreed to, saying that would be fine, but he could tell from her voice that she was worried about having him over by himself. Of course she was, she was probably still in love with him, and she didn't trust herself alone with him. When he'd gotten off the phone, he'd felt great, felt like everything was falling into place, but Shiori with her sly smiles and her red dress...somehow he wasn't sure the pieces were even _meant_ to fit together. And if they were...was this really what he wanted?

_You need to grow up. You're getting distracted by her, coming in here all hot in her red dress, but she doesn't give a shit about you, so why are you bothered? Suri can't even talk to you without her voice shaking, she's the mother of your child. Why is this a hard decision?_

Kankurou chuckled as he realized his mental voice sounded suspiciously like Temari. It was true, wasn't it? Suri was the right decision, the grown up decision. Suri was the one he wanted, he...he was sure of that. And if he could just keep his wandering eye under control, he could be happy with her, and they could raise Shizuka together, and it would be really...really perfect. He could stay here for graduate studies, maybe apply for a professorship. He hadn't really been sure what he wanted to do after college before, but he knew now, he needed to be a father, and to do that, he really needed to figure all of this out, he needed Suri back, and he needed to stay close by so that he would always be there for Shizuka. That was what he needed, and that was all there was to it. Plus, it wasn't _all_ about looks, and Suri was good looking, that had never been a problem, certainly. And...she was very...she was grown up and mature, and she was still fun in a lot of ways, and she was really smart. Shiori was also smart, obviously, and she was really...well, a lot more fun, but that was just because she was younger. And anyway, she was so devious, was that really a good person for Kankurou to be with? Well...maybe someone that devious could stop him from fooling around and tricking her and everything...but that wasn't...

_What am I doing? Comparing them? It doesn't matter, it's not like this is a choice. Shiori doesn't even want me._

But...if she did. If she did, and Shizuka wasn't a factor...

_But she is. This is all about Shizuka, isn't it? I need to remember that. Who is a better mother? That's obvious, it's Suri hands down. What kind of mother would Shiori be? She'd probably freak out like Ino did, since they're a lot alike...ugh, what a nightmare. I don't want that._

_I don't._

If he kept telling himself that, he felt sure it would be true. Taking a deep breath, he checked his appearance in the mirror before leaving the room. He couldn't see Chouji or Shiori in the den, but he could hear voices, low and coming from Chouji's bedroom. He had a sudden irrational urge to break into Chouji's room and beat him up.

_Stop stealing my girlfriends!_

But Shiori wasn't his, and he had known...had known they were doing this, he had thought it was a genius idea. Who could resist Shiori? Certainly not Chouji. Certainly not...

He shook his head sharply and ran up the stairs, as if by momentum he could force himself _not_ to turn, not to think of her, not to wonder what they were doing, if Shiori would really honestly go through with it. Did she really not care who she slept with? Part of him...part of him had maintained a secret belief that she had said that, of course, but it had been all posturing, that somewhere deep down Shiori really did care for him a great deal, that secretly she wanted him, and maybe once she'd gotten whatever it was, if he helped her, if he showed her how great he could be, she would decide to stay with him...

_It won't matter...by then I'll be with Suri. Because that's what I want._

He wished that little voice of doubt would shut up. He wished that he could stop wondering if she was really going to do this, if she would really let Chouji touch her just to help him get what he wanted, and if she really saw nothing wrong with it.

_Suri would never...would never...and that's why this is the right choice. This is really what I want._

It still took him ten minutes of sitting in his car trying to compose himself before he was ready to knock on Suri's door.

----------

_What am I doing?_

The thought fluttered through Temari's mind as she lay facing the wall, Kiba's arm draped over her waist, his breathing still fast but slowing. He was kissing the back of her neck, inhaling the scent of her hair, and somehow, the way his lashes would tickle the nape of her neck _hurt_. It stung her, it made her feel like she _had_ to get up, had to leave, had to hurry away before she could see this situation for what it was. She _didn't_ want to lie here, she didn't want to find his smell on her later, she didn't want any of it. She didn't.

_Then what am I doing? Why did I even come here in the first place?_

This was the fifth time. She wished she didn't keep track, but she couldn't help herself. It was fine the first time, she told herself she was drunk, though she knew she hadn't been. She told herself she hadn't planned it. And the next day, when she said she was coming over, she told herself she was just coming to tell him it had been a mistake, that she was still angry about what he had done to her, and she couldn't trust him and never would, and that was all there was between them. But he had kissed her as soon as he saw her, and though she had _told_ herself to push him away, to tell him no, she'd fallen so easily into this. Every time she came over, she told herself it was to end it, but it always went this way. They never got to the talking part. Every time _he_ would start, she would flee the scene. She wasn't sure what was happening, she wasn't sure what she wanted, and she was terrified to think of discussing it.

_I just want to be here with him._

_No...no, I don't. I don't want that. I'm done with that, I'm over it._

_Which is why you're curling up with him in bed. Which is why you've ended up here every time you've come to see him._

"Temari," he breathed into her neck, and she felt herself go tense. "I love you," She tried to control the sudden urge to panic, to spring out of bed and run away from those words, from how they made her feel, from how she might feel about _him_. "I'm so...glad you're here. I missed you so much. I thought I'd lost you."

_You did lose me! I'm gone! I'm leaving right now! I don't want this!_

But she couldn't move. She was frozen with terror and panic. "You know, that night you called me over, I thought you were going to yell at me, kick my ass or something. You don't know...how much it means to have you give me this second chance." He nuzzled her neck, and she knew he was waiting for her to say something, but she couldn't speak or move at all. She wondered if he could feel her muscles all tensed at his words, what he was thinking or what he expected from her. "I canceled my trip home, you know. I was going to leave that day, but when I thought about it, choosing between you and my family...for a chance to fix things with you, it wasn't a hard decision. I know my parents would understand, they know how much you mean to me. And...I mean, this whole thing, I just want you to know, if you don't ever want to get married, it's cool. I don't _need_ to be married, I just need you. And I know I can trust you to stay with me, I don't need some freaking contract or whatever. I just...I love you so much. And I think I got upset because I thought...thought you wanted that, you know, marriage and kids, and I really did, too. But if you don't want those things, you know, I think it's better for us to talk about it, because I don't want to fight. I'd rather compromise, I want us both to be happy. And...and we're still young, so it's not like we have to decide right away."

_Why do I feel like I'm going to start crying? What the hell is he talking about? He's assuming so much...what does he think, just because I came over and slept with him I want to go back like none of this ever happened? Bullshit!_

She finally regained enough control to pull away, to sit on the edge of the bed and reach down for her bra, pulling it on and concentrating on fastening it. She couldn't look at him right then. She wasn't ready. She didn't know if she would _ever_ be ready after hearing all that.

_What did I do? What's wrong with me? I don't want...don't want him back. I never will!_

_Then why...why am I here? Why do I keep coming back? And why do I feel like crying every time he kisses me, every time he tells me he loves me?_

_Why do I want to believe him? I know better...I know I must know better..._

"We don't have to talk about that right now," he was sitting up as well, his hand on her back, warm and comforting and familiar, and it took everything she had to stand up, to leave that hand behind as she gathered her clothes. "I understand, it's still really soon, I mean a week ago we weren't even talking. I get it. But...I mean, I would really...really like to move back into the house...if you...you know, if you're okay with that. And...I mean, I think we could—"

"I have to go." her voice barely shook, something she was irrationally proud of. "I'll call you later." she got out of there so fast she didn't even bother tying her shoes. She felt miserable. She felt like going back and throwing herself into his arms.

_But I can't. I can't do that._

_Why not?_

She wished she knew the answer. She started crying halfway home. Silent tears working their way down her cheeks, and she brushed them away angrily. She didn't want to be sad, and she certainly didn't want Kiba to make her feel that way. Because this was _his_ fault. His fault she felt this way. Why couldn't she just forget him?

_I really...really hate him._

_I do._

The lie sounded hollow, and she knew it for what it was, but she couldn't admit that to herself. She couldn't.

----------

To be continued...


	28. Chapter 28

If I Fall

Chapter 28

----------

There had been progress, Neji wasn't going to deny that, but if things were really great, he wouldn't be sleeping on a couch at the moment. But...he couldn't handle the way Gaara would just totally shut down when pushed, and he was completely sexually frustrated, and he didn't think it was really a good idea for him to share the bed with Gaara at the moment, as he might do something they would both regret. He was still fever-hot, but he doubted that mattered to the redhead, he was probably having some sort of panic attack, and Neji _knew_ that he should be concerned, he should watch over him, but at the moment, he wasn't sure he could stop himself forcing the man down and just having his way with him no matter what. That, or strangling him.

It was one thing to think he could force Gaara to deal with the physical side of their relationship, but the reality of it...he couldn't bring himself to hold Gaara down while he was crying and whimpering, desperate to escape. He _couldn't_. It wasn't right. He had thought if he just moved slowly, or if he was gentle, or even if he tried to be on top...but the closest he'd come to having sex with Gaara was a few moments of passion that only made him _more_ frustrated when Gaara shut down completely. Normally, he could manage to still fall asleep next to his lover, if a bit huffily, but tonight, he had not been able to take it anymore.

So he was on the couch, and he was alone. He was glad it was a nice hotel, and that there was a door between Gaara and him. He wasn't sure he wanted to look at him at the moment. He just wanted...

_I just want it to be back to the way it was. And I'm so tired of this...I know I shouldn't be mad at Gaara, but sometimes I am. Hell, sometimes I'm mad at Naruto, like this is his fault. Or me, for being gone that morning, letting this happen...I've blamed everyone I can, it doesn't make a different, it doesn't make it better. I just...just want him back the way he was._

At least Gaara would talk to him now, a bit. During the day, he was almost like he had been, a little more reserved maybe, but to most people, he would seem exactly as he had been. Temari or Naruto might notice the difference, and certainly Neji could tell he wasn't really better, but even the rest of their friends, so used to Gaara being quiet most of the time...they'd never know what was going on was any different from business as usual.

And it was enough where Neji would fool himself a little every day, thinking _finally, he's over it, he's really feeling better._ But every time he'd try anything, complete shutdown. It was so frustrating, it was maddening and heartbreaking all at once. Part of him had started to suspect that it was _always _going to be like this. Just the same way other events had shaped the redhead, that morning had broken something essential, and it wasn't anything that Neji could heal, it wasn't anything that would ever be fixed. This was Gaara now.

_Well...I'll just have to learn to deal with it. I'll just have to get over this feeling, this anger. It's not his fault. He can't change who he is. And I always swore...swore I'd love him no matter what. Would I really take that back just because the most intimacy I can ever hope for is a kiss or hug, maybe some spooning when he's too tired to be freaked out by my body next to his._

But Neji knew that the worst part wasn't thinking that Gaara didn't _want_ to have sex with him ever again. That...that he could have dealt with more easily than this. This was different. It was blatantly obvious that Gaara _did_ want him. And it was just as apparent that he absolutely refused to give in to his feelings. Seeing glimpses of desire, seeing just the _edge_ of the lover he'd known for years, that was what was driving him crazy. If it was just completely gone, that wouldn't have been so tantalizing, so unbearable. But when he had to pretend to be okay with Gaara pushing him away not because he didn't want it, but because he _did_, and it terrified him. And he was getting better at it. He didn't have to run into the other room to work himself off, now. He had actually shut it down this evening, as though he hadn't been completely turned on a moment earlier. Everything had started innocently, Neji had told himself it was too maddening, so he wouldn't bother starting anything, but Gaara had turned into him, had kissed him, had initiated everything, and fool that he was, Neji had reacted at _once_, thinking that really, he'd finally waited, and that was what had been needed. Gaara had to be given control, and by doing that, this dry spell would end, and they could finally resume the physical relationship that had been on hold since the incident with Naruto. But he'd been _too_ eager, and he'd grabbed Gaara's hips and ground against him, moaning into the kiss they'd been sharing, and Gaara, who had been clearly aroused then, had pulled away, made an odd face and a horrible groaning noise, and Neji had blinked, panting for a minute in confused alarm, looked down, and realized that by some miracle technique he must have been privately mastering, Gaara had reversed the process of his arousal, and was now nearly completely back to normal.

So now it seemed that Gaara could just turn his desire off at will. It was a little insulting, Neji knew he couldn't do anything like that, and wasn't even sure how it was possible, but surely Gaara had plenty of horrific experiences to draw on that would make most any man shrivel in disgust. Maybe he pictured things...maybe his uncle.

_Maybe he imagines that's who I am._

Neji wanted to fall asleep and forget that anything had happened, but he tossed and turned and tormented himself, sometimes crying, sometimes just staring blankly at the ceiling until he started cycling through the guilt and torment again, and before he had realized how long it had been, sunlight was coming through the chinks in the curtains, and he realized he'd gone all night without sleeping.

He knew that they would get through this, he knew this wouldn't break them up. Nothing had, so far. None of his dumb mistakes, not anything Gaara had done, nothing...nothing had been able to really drive them apart. He'd stay by Gaara's side. They'd survive this.

Neji just wasn't sure his sanity would make it.

And as he sat up and rubbed a hand through his hair, imagining it must look horrible and finding he just didn't care, it occurred to him that as silly as it should seem, as petty as it was, he was truly sad that he'd really spent the night out here, and not once had Gaara come to check on him. He could have totally left the hotel, for all Gaara knew, but he was sleeping in that bed, the bed Neji had paid for to help him, and he didn't care, did he? All he cared was that Neji had left him alone, so he could sleep, so that was fine, and he didn't care if _Neji_ was fine. Neji who'd been by his side through everything, who had been patient about all of his hang-ups and odd quirks, had even come to love those things, Neji who instead of being jealous of his Naruto fixation had encouraged it, who had given Gaara whatever he wanted, whatever he might want, and now...now he wondered.

Maybe...maybe he would stay with Gaara through anything, but what if Gaara didn't feel the same anymore? What if Gaara didn't _want_ him there? What if he didn't love Neji anymore, and what if...what if he was trying to find a way to say this, and that was why he'd seemed so almost-normal, but not quite? What if Gaara asked him to leave?

He had said he'd stay with him forever. But he'd also said he'd do anything Gaara wanted.

If Gaara wanted him to leave, what was he supposed to do?

All of this flashed through Neji's mind as he stared at the closed bedroom door in their suite, mocking him with its indifference, and his face fell in his hands and he cried, really cried. Not out of frustration or exhaustion or concern for Gaara, or guilt, but for despair. He could suddenly imagine what it would be like, to have those mint eyes stare at him blankly, to hear the voice he'd heard whisper sweet words in the dark tell him that it was all over, that he didn't love him anymore and he didn't want him around, and he realized that if he heard those words, he'd have no choice but to obey.

He couldn't say no to Gaara, but he also wasn't sure he could live without him, not anymore. And knowing that it was a possibility that he might have to learn to do just that tore his heart up more than anything that had happened since that morning with Naruto. It was stupid and selfish of him, but he couldn't help it.

Desperately, more than anything he'd ever wanted before, he wanted Gaara to say he loved him. Not just to nod when asked, and to smile...to _really_ smile, the way he hadn't since that day, and he was starting to believe those were things he would never get.

Gaara hadn't actually said the words to him since then, and knowing that...really realizing it, it made everything seem that much more hopeless. It was the beginning of the end for them, he was sure. And rather than give up gracefully, he knew as pathetic as it was, he would stay by Gaara as long as he was allowed, and probably if told point blank to leave, he would cry and beg for another chance, and chance to make Gaara love him. Because even if he had changed, Neji had thought their love was something so essential and elemental that at least _that_ would still be there. And a few hours ago, his biggest concern was that Gaara was becoming some kind of cock-tease.

Suddenly, the lack of sex didn't seem very important.

----------

"Sakura, is everything all right?" Sai frowned down at his fiance, who had a decidedly grey complexion. She'd been quiet all morning, and while he was used to her being quite reserved around his parents, now that they were at _her_ parents' house, he had expected her to recover rather quickly to her normal optimistic attitude. Partially, that had been why he'd wanted to go first to see his family, since he felt the recovery she received just being around her mother and father, who so clearly doted on her, would be good for her to have before returning to campus for New Years. However, she seemed to be worse, if anything, and he was positive yesterday morning he'd heard her puking, but when he asked if she was sick, she'd shrugged him off and told him it was just nerves. But what did she have to be nervous about? These were _her_ parents. She wasn't afraid of them, surely? But since she'd seemed a bit more cheerful that evening, he had figured it was just a delayed reaction to the dread she usually experienced when she knew she'd be staying with his parents. "You look unwell. Are you sure you are not sick?"

"No...no, I'm fine." she closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "I'm just...worn out, I think."

"Would you like me to bring up some breakfast? Your mother makes very good food, it will help you to recover your strength." he offered, sitting down next to her on the bed and brushing her hair back from her clammy forehead. Whatever she said, he was positive she was sick, and he hoped she would recover, he hated seeing her in poor spirits, and he thought he should ask her mother for some soup, something to help her get better. She so seldom became ill, it was hard for her to admit when she was. That was the problem, he was sure.

"Ugh...I can't think of food right now." she rolled over on her stomach, groaned as though that only made things worse and rolled back up to face him. "I just need to rest, that's all."

"Poor Sakura," he leaned down and kissed her. He could tell from her reaction she'd been sick again, and if she honestly thought she was fooling him, then she was certainly going to be disappointed. "It is your nerves again?" he decided it was better if he played along. Perhaps then he could get her to accept care. "Perhaps I should get something to calm your stomach? Pepto Bismol or some Tums, or something else you might suggest?"

"Sai..." she turned her face toward him and blinked slowly. "Sometimes...you are really dense."

"I try not to be." he offered, and she gave a weak smile. "Am I missing the point again? I do that still, I know. I try not to."

"Sai, I'm only sick in the morning." She told him. "Have you noticed?"

"Well, of course, I thought perhaps it helped after you'd eaten something. Yesterday the sandwiches your mother made were very delicious, and the soup was quite--"

"Did you also notice I haven't had my period for over two months?" she asked. "Seriously."

"Oh." he paused to think about this. "I suppose...hmm, yes, that is true. The last time, I remember it was before Halloween, because I was wanting to have sex and you said 'not right now, Sai,' you said that, I recall. And I said, 'why not?' and you gave me the look when I am missing the point and said, 'because I'm not in the mood' and I said that you had _seemed_ in the mood when we were kissing, but only when I put my hand down your pants had your mood changed, and you said, 'we go through this every month, you know,' and then _I _said--"

"Sai, I'm pregnant." Sakura had not planned on blurting it out like that. She hadn't planned on being completely floored by morning sickness for the past week, either, but sometimes things happen the way they happen, and nothing comes of the best laid plans. It wasn't very romantic, surely, telling him so he would get off her case about her being sick, when she knew that _actually_ there was nothing wrong with her physically, and what she was going through was normal, and she'd just have to bear through it. But it was wearing on her, and so...she hadn't had the dramatic and romantic reveal she had been picturing since she'd seen the positive test two weeks ago. But this worked. Certainly he hadn't expected it, from the expression on his face.

"You...are?" Sai leaned over her, looking at her face closely as though something _there_ would have changed to show her condition. "You are pregnant? Truly? With a child?"

"Um." She had an off-kilter moment where she wondered what _exactly _he thought she might be pregnant with before she remembered that this was, after all, the same Sai she had known since her freshman year, the man who would still say things so mystifying that she would wonder if she really knew him at all, if he had really learned so little about people in his years at college, but who still, even when he said these things, was so sweet and so endearing, she couldn't have stopped loving him even had she wanted to. "Yes. With _your_ child."

"But you were taking the birth control pill!" Sai's voice was suddenly loud, and Sakura winced. She didn't think it was best for her parents to learn this from overhearing him shouting about it. "You were taking it every day! I remember, because I would look at you taking it, and I would not say anything, but I would think very sadly that I wished you would stop so we could have a baby, and then I would remember our talk that we had about that, and I would tell myself that I know what I would choose if it was between you or a child, and so I learned not to be so sad, but I would see the empty containers in the trash at times and I would sigh very sadly. It was quite poignant, even."

"Sai, sometimes things are meant to be." Sakura told him, unable to stop herself smiling. Even with the twisting nausea in her stomach at the moment, knowing that Sai wanted this so badly he had reverted to senseless babbling in his excitement truly made her happy. "I didn't think I was ready...but when I saw the test, when I realized what had happened...well," she shrugged. "I was happy. I really was. I think you've wanted a baby for a long time, but it took me _knowing_ I was going to have one to make me really want one."

"We are going to have a baby?" he asked, brows arching with pleading, and she giggled. How many times would she have to confirm this before he believed her?

"Yes, that was the plan." she smiled. "You still want to?"

"Sakura...I am very, very happy right now." he told her. "I can't...can't say..." and he suddenly was on her, wrapping his arms around her, kissing her over and over again. He might not be the best with words, but he was still able to get his feelings across in a way they both understood.

It hadn't been the way she'd planned on telling him, that was certain. She had wanted to wait for Christmas, tell him in the morning, make it like a present, but as she giggled, forgetting her own discomfort as he continued kissing her and she realized what the wetness on his face was and feeling more deeply touched than she had thought his inevitable excitement at this news would make her, she realized that it didn't have to happen on a certain day to make it more special. Just having it happen was amazing enough.

She really was happy...so much happier than she thought she could have been to have this happen. It didn't hurt that Sai was trembling with happy excitement as he continued to tell her how amazing it was, how amazing _she_ was, and how happy he was, and how deeply he loved her. That was just a bonus.

She was going to have his child, and they would be married, and as for her career, and his? She knew...somehow, that these things would figure themselves out. As long as she had this man, everything else would fall into place.

How had it taken her so long to figure this out?

----------

"Don't worry, I know he'll cave." Shiori shrugged. "But you have to tell me, how did your date with Suri go?" Kankurou blinked at her. She was dressed in normal clothes again, t-shirt and jeans, her hair tied back messily in what she sometimes referred to as a 'study-time bun,' though of course, she wasn't studying for class now. They were discussing the previous night. She had not been able to make Chouji cross any lines, but she didn't seem phased. "You didn't call me, so I figured you must have stayed over there _all_ night." He blinked again, and realized she was referring to her scribbled note left on his desk. He'd seen it when he came home, but he was so sick of himself he hadn't been able to bring himself to call her like she asked to update her and so they could meet to, as the note had promised, 'do what I said before.' He hadn't been so out of it that he hadn't realized she was still offering to have sex with him in the dress he'd been admiring, but at the time, he hadn't known how things had gone with Chouji, and the thought of her going between the two of them like that...of course he had assumed Chouji would jump at the chance to get with Shiori. Who wouldn't? Suri was great, but Shiori...she was so much...so much more...she just wasn't the sort of girl you could turn down.

Kankurou had failed to realize at the time that, in a way, by dropping into his bed to feel depressed and conflicted rather than calling her, _he_ had rejected her. Sort of. Although now, knowing that Chouji hadn't so much as kissed her made him oddly euphoric, and he wasn't sure he trusted himself to say _anything_. He would give himself away, he knew. Because last night, spending time with Suri...well, it had been nice, but in a way he had not at all expected. She had been initially wary of him, of course, but he supposed it had been hard for her to stay cold toward him when he was so clearly enamored of Shizuka, something they had in common. He had gone over there, intending to seduce her, he knew that. It had been part of the plan, the part that should have been the easiest for him to recall, since of course the whole point was to get back together with her. But somehow...he hadn't really stayed over that long, and the only time he recalled his aim was when Suri, now seeming to be comfortable admitted sheepishly she had wanted Chouji to be over when he visited 'for protection,' which was so funny, really, but when she had called him a bit before Kankurou had come, he hadn't answered, but it was not at all like she'd thought it might be having him over, so in the end she felt foolish for worrying.

She had been right, of course, it hadn't been at all like that...but the funny thing was that had been Kankurou's plan, to go over there and get her back, and even when she unknowingly reminded him of his aim, he hadn't been able to do it. And the worst part had been after Shizuka had been laid down for the night, and they'd worn themselves out talking about Kankurou's friends and her job and his classes and how great Shizuka was and how smart she was sure to be, Suri had been so happy with the visit that she forgot to guard herself and had given him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek when he said he'd better leave, and he had felt fine. Just...fine. It hadn't even occurred to him until he was driving home that he _could_ have turned into that kiss, could have changed it into a _real_ kiss. It hadn't really occurred to him while they were saying goodbye, any more than it would occur to him to try and grope Sakura or Hinata or any of his lady friends that were admittedly good looking, but not actually up for romantic consideration, despite the sort of things he might say in mixed company.

_Why the fuck is Shiori in the friend zone? How did this happen?_

"Well?" Shiori was watching him avidly, waiting for an answer, sipping at her bottle of water and brushing a wisp of hair behind her ear. "Are you king of the castle again?"

"Oh...um, no." he managed a sheepish grin, realizing he'd been lost in silent contemplation this whole time. Once he found out that nothing had happened between Shiori and Chouji, he had been so relieved...why? Why should he care? It wasn't like she was into him, or like she had said that it would mean no more sex for him. That should be his only concern, and a minor one, at that. His concern was _supposed _to be getting with Suri, but he hadn't made one pass at her during a whole evening alone together! Was there something wrong with him? Something affecting his ability to function as he always had, with only passing concern for anyone that wasn't himself? Of course he had changed a little, he knew how much he wanted to be there for Shizuka, he knew that in a lot of ways, he had grown up, even though Temari was often expressing doubt over this...and he knew that she realized that when it came down to it, he really would do a lot for those he cared for. She had even admitted to him privately how surprised she had been to see the way he had completely shunned Kiba after what had happened with Hinata, especially since Kiba _had_ been one of his closest friends during his years at college.

But Temari was his sister, after all, and he loved her, even if he wasn't always so vocal about it. It was true. There were a few people he cared about above all else. But Shiori...she wasn't one of those people. She couldn't be. How much sense would that make? She was gorgeous, and she was brilliant, and she was so much like him in so many ways, but that didn't mean he really...

Well, after all, she had said she didn't care about him. So of course he couldn't love her. He couldn't, and he didn't. And if he didn't want her with Chouji? Well...that was because...wasn't it bad enough that guy was getting with _one_ of his girlfriends? He needed both? No, that was all. He just didn't like Chouji in his business. And that was all. Any other person, and he wouldn't care, but Chouji was already trying to usurp his place with Suri and Shizuka, this wasn't something he wanted to reward with hot Shiori sex. No, this method was all wrong, he hadn't realized before, but now it was clear.

"Well, are you going to say anything other than that? I mean, if you give me details I can give you tips for next time." she offered, pulling both legs up on the bed and tucking them under her as she leaned forward, and he noted that she was clearly interested in this. He wondered how he had missed how she was more clearly engaged in her philosophy discussions with her tutor than she was with making out with him before, but now...now it was obvious, and he was annoyed with his own obliviousness. How had he been so easily duped? It was clear she had never been interested in anything he had to say or do until after he'd tried to break up with her and she'd come clean...well, partially clean, anyway. He still didn't know what she hoped to gain from this union. Then something ridiculous came to him, and his brow furrowed in consternation.

"Hey, you don't _want_ to get with Chouji, do you?" he asked, suddenly feeling angrier than he should, no matter what her answer was. She was sleeping with him, yes, but she was barely even his friend, when it came down to it. Ally was a better word for what Shiori was, and a begrudging one at that. "Is _that_ why you're so on to help me?"

"What if I did, would it matter?" she rolled her eyes. "It doesn't matter what I want, that's on hold for now, so you better enjoy full use of me while you can, because once I'm back in action, you'll be noticing a dearth, that's for sure." she shook her head. "Actually...if I was with Chouji..." and her expression went suddenly thoughtful, as though she were truly considering the idea. As though it had merit!

"No, I don't think that's a good idea." he grabbed her arm, and her face turned to him at once. _Good, look at me. Keep looking at me._ He tried to ignore the possessive thought, but it was hard, the way he was holding her made his intentions clear to both of them. "I don't like it. It's like...like he's getting a reward for fucking stealing my girlfriend and my freaking daughter on top of it."

"You know, he doesn't want to replace you," she told him, trying to look annoyed but unable to stop herself glancing at the hand that was tight on her arm. "He kept asking about you last night, but not like he was worried about you stealing Suri, more like he's afraid you'll run out on Shizuka. He wants you to be there for her, he's not going to get in your way on that one."

"Still...I don't like the idea of you two...together." he scowled, and she blinked at him, eyes wide and blue and more open than he thought he'd probably seen in any of her expressions when they were this close...now he'd pulled her toward him, he could taste her breath, and he knew this was a bad idea, he knew where this would lead, and for some reason...he knew he wanted it, but he also felt like it was somehow wrong, and he was so confused it was only making him irate. "I don't like it. We need a different plan. Something else to break them up."

"W...well, if you just...get her to choose you..." she was speaking softly now, staring up at him with alarm...and something else he wasn't sure of. "Kankurou...you're hurting me."

"Oh." he let go of her so suddenly she nearly fell, and she recovered her self possession so quickly it was frankly amazing. "Sorry."

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd think _you_ were jealous." she was still a little breathless as she climbed into his lap, straddling him and letting down her hair in a swift gesture that caused him to choke on a sudden surge of desire as her hair came down in a glistening wave of gold. Her eyes were burning, sultry, and in the back of his mind, he could hear him saying this wasn't right, _this_ was an act, but she was there, and something about it was so...so right, so much better than Suri...but that...that wasn't right. He loved Suri.

He still did. He must. That was what this was all about, wasn't it?

"I'm...not." he gulped as her arms went around his neck, and she moved in such a way that he felt his body show interest almost at once, and he could see she felt that, and he was mortified, which was about the first time he'd ever _not_ wanted a girl to know he wanted her. What was this girl _doing_ to him? She was screwing up everything he wanted, everything he thought, she was turning it all inside out. Bitch.

But...she was a very sexy bitch. That was for sure.

"Oh, I think you are," she teased, that sly grin on her face, the one he could never resist. Why? Why was he so irresistibly attracted to someone he knew only wanted to screw him over? "So possessive of your toys, you don't want Chouji playing with me at all?"

"You're not--" he made a choking noise and knew he must look alarmed, he had been about to say she _wasn't_ a toy to him. She was much more than that...but why? Why would he say that?

_Unless it's true. Unless the whole reason I'm not really interested in Suri that way...even though Shizuka's there...the reason I don't want Chouji near her...what if really, even though I know she doesn't care about me, even though I should really hate her, cause I know she's using me for some...something...what if I'm starting to maybe...maybe love her?_

"It's okay, I understand." she winked, and her playful attitude hurt like a slap across the face. She didn't take him seriously at all. He was just her pawn, and she didn't mind sleeping with him if it kept him in line, but she didn't feel anything for him. Not _anything_. "As long as you can get Suri to choose you, we don't need to get Chouji to cheat on her. And you know, with my help, you've gotten much better in bed, so I expect a thank you note from her when you finally close the deal!" she laughed at his expression of horror, mistaking it in part. "No, just kidding, you don't need to tell her I was helping with that. I know you like taking the credit. Now...let's see if we can't redirect some of your sexual frustration." she ground against him, and he couldn't stop himself responding, and when she kissed him, he was lost, and he knew then it was true.

Somehow, in the midst of all of this plotting and subterfuge, he'd fallen in love with this backstabbing girl. Now if he could only figure out a way to make her want to keep him around, maybe he wouldn't feel like every time together was their last, which made it something like a festival and a funeral all at once.

And when he thought he was going to cry, he buried his face in her hair until the feeling passed, but he could see that this was bad. This was not something he had any hope of ignoring. The situation had changed. He didn't _want_ Suri back. She could marry Chouji for all he cared. As long as he could make Shiori want him...really want him, and not just as someone convenient, but as someone she needed, the way he was starting to see he needed her. If he could do _that..._then...then that would truly make him happy.

Still, he really thought it was easier when he was in love with Suri. Obstacles like his past record with her and her new boyfriend...they seemed like nothing next to the insurmountable wall Shiori had built around her heart.

He still didn't even know what she wanted with him. But at least now, he had a better idea of what he wanted from her.

----------

To be continued...


	29. Chapter 29

If I Fall

Chapter 29

----------

"Naruto, dammit, stand still." Sasuke yanked at his lover's collar and wrapped the tie around his neck, adjusting the sides so it would fall properly. "You really need to learn how to do this."

"I know, I'm hopeless." Naruto was bouncing a little, which Sasuke supposed he'd have to take as being the closest the blonde was about to come to standing perfectly still at the moment. Their friends had been returning throughout the day, knowing how New Years was an important holiday for them all to share, and since this was the last one of their combined college career, no one had been surprised when Temari had made an edict that morning that they'd all be dressing up and she'd be inviting _everyone_, which Naruto had nervously speculated meant that even Kiba and Hinata would be there. This was a big deal to him, but Sasuke didn't fool himself that this was the reason his lover couldn't stand still long enough to have the tie put on.

"Ugh, it's too short now...you need to _stay_ still if you want it to look right." Sasuke hissed and pulled the knot out, gripping him by the shoulders and fastening him with a steely gaze. "Don't you want to look nice for Gaara?" Cheap shot, perhaps, but it certainly got the job done. Naruto's face drained of blood as he suddenly went completely still, then he flushed crimson and gave Sasuke a look of such shame that the Uchiha almost felt guilty for bringing up the obvious.

"It's not...I'm not...but..." Naruto sputtered then shook himself so vigorously that all of Sasuke's work went to waste, not to mention messing up his hair. Privately, Sasuke liked it better without it being combed down, but he was also aware that having Naruto run around with bedhead wasn't exactly within the strictures of formal dress. "I'm nervous to see him."

"I know, and it's fine that you are." Sasuke rolled his eyes and leaned forward, kissing him soundly until he felt the tense shoulders loosen, and he pulled away, using his fingers to fix Naruto's hair and then returning to the tie. "I'm not upset, so you don't need to get worked up. Why wouldn't you be nervous? When you saw him last, he was terrified to _look_ at you, so I'm sure you're worried about what he's going to be like now, if it's going to be more...like it was."

"I'm excited to see everyone else, too!" Naruto defended. "I mean, I've seen some of them, already. Did you see how big Tenten is now?"

"She looked like that two weeks ago." Sasuke couldn't stop himself grinning. "She's hardly gotten more pregnant in that little time."

"Still...but I haven't seen her since they went to see their parents, so it was like a surprise...kind of." Naruto chuckled, and Sasuke laughed with him, unable to resist that innocently eager face. "And I haven't really had a chance to talk to Sakura! I wanted to make sure Sai's mom wasn't horrible to her, but they went to their room so fast to get ready..."

"Get ready? So that's what we're calling it now." Sasuke snorted as he finally conquered the tie and then looked over at their clock. "Hey, I think we have enough time to 'get ready' at least once before Temari notices we're not down there. It's only ten."

"Saaaasuke!" Naruto shook his fists impatiently and stomped dramatically in a fit that was unmistakably reminiscent of Aki in some of her more inspired moments, and Sasuke started laughing all over again at this spot-on imitation.

"Just kidding, I know you want to go down and see everyone." he assured his lover, checking his own reflection before crossing to open the door. "Let's go, but you have to promise we can 'get ready' later."

"Oh, no, I was planning on never doing that with you ever again." Naruto decided that if Sasuke was going to tease him, he'd tease his lover right back. He was in exceptionally high spirits. His tie was tied properly, everyone was going to be here, and he was _sure_ that Gaara would be all better again. It was going to be the greatest New Years ever. "Decided it's overrated."

"Really?" Sasuke wasn't fooled for an instant. "Then maybe Neji won't mind--"

"Naruto! Sasuke! Finally." Ino accosted them as they came down the stairs, grabbed Sasuke's arm and dragged them both toward the living room. "Sakura says she has to make an announcement, but she won't say what until _everyone's_ here. Not even to tell _me._" she looked as though she found this to be completely ridiculous and unfair. "For once you guys are later even than Neji and Gaara."

"Told you we didn't have time." Naruto whispered as they were swept into the living room, which was tastefully decorated and full of friends and amazing looking food. "Whoa...Temari, did you make this? How did you get these tomatoes to do this--"

"It's catered, doofus." Ino rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers at the pink-haired woman standing across the room with Sai's arm around her waist. "Look, everyone's here!"

"Oh good god, are _you_ pregnant too?" Sasuke blurted out the first thing that occurred to him at the sight of her pink cheeks and Sai's proud expression, and everyone turned to him in surprise before turning back to Sakura who went from looking surprised to annoyed to amused in the space of a few moments.

"Um, yes. Yes I am." she finally confirmed to several gasps from around the room. "Not exactly how I pictured making the announcement, but I don't think any sort of planning in this house amounts to anything."

"Crap, I swear, it's the fucking water!" Kankurou shook his head ruefully and was smacked sharply by his sister. "What? I should know! And don't get on my case about language, there aren't any kids still awake. Unless you think all the fetuses present count. Right Suri? No way Shizuka can hear me from home, right?" his ex tried to repress the urge to laugh while Chouji rolled his eyes by her side.

"Just...shut up." Temari rolled her eyes. She looked very strained, but Naruto supposed she had probably been working for quite some time pulling this all together, and she wanted it to come off perfectly. Also, it appeared that Hinata _was_ here with Suteru, and Kiba had come as well. He was shadowing her at what possibly he judged to be a safe distance, but Naruto could see at once that no matter what Temari might feel, Kiba was definitely still very much in love with her. Maybe in the spirit of new beginnings and the holiday she would forgive him? Naruto hated his friends looking unhappy. He moved forward to hug Sakura, to congratulate her, and be shunted aside by Ino, who was loudly complaining that Sakura had _promised_ to let her know about this before anyone else, and she'd broken her word, so now, if Naruto was following the conversation properly, she got to see Sai naked. Shikamaru was sitting in a chair across the room, pretending not to hear his pregnant wife and focusing on not being noticed. And with Chouji so close to Suri, possibly trying to shield her from Kankurou, and Shiori at her own boyfriend's side, letting him offer her bits of food with a patient sort of forbearing expression, he might just be successful, although Naruto knew that it was likely Sasuke at least would join the hermit club before the end of the night. It was sweet to see the girls making much of Sakura, to see the look of pride on Sai's face, and he even had a chance to exchange a few words with Hinata before he finally saw what he'd been looking for since they came down.

Neji looked amazing dressed up, he always made it look like he'd been born in expensive tailor-made clothing. He was easily visible in the back corner near the television, sitting in a casually graceful way, sampling bites off a small plate, and on the ground beside him, there was an unmistakable flash of red. Gaara was between the chair and the wall, sitting on the floor, probably not the best way to sit in the nice clothes he was wearing, and at first it struck Naruto as odd that Temari wasn't on his case to either stand up and save his pants from wrinkling, or just berating him for being anti-social, but after the initial pleasure of seeing his friends for the first time in nearly two weeks, Naruto moved past the facade, and as he grew closer to them, cheerful words ready to speak, he saw them. _Really_ saw them. Firstly, Neji wasn't touching Gaara at all, no part of him touched the other man at all, and Naruto realized what had looked like casual grace was a controlled pose _meant_ to look casual, but the main aim was now clearly to keep him from encroaching on the little triangle of space Gaara had claimed for himself where he was least visible to everyone else in the room. Despite this, his eyes kept darting to the redhead, looking for something, but what it was Naruto could only speculate. The silver gaze seemed sad, resigned, and amazingly tired, so that Naruto felt the urge to just _hug_ him. And then there was Gaara himself.

Arms around his legs, chin on his knees, eyes watching the room warily as though expecting attack from any direction, plate of food in front of him that was clearly untouched, and had most likely been gathered by Neji or possibly even Temari. He had no interest in that, nor did he seem to have any interest in the man who hovered over him protectively, but carefully. And when those mint-green eyes spotted Naruto and realized where he was going, who he was looking at, the terror that suffused his expression was so complete, Naruto felt his chest ache with the pain of it. It wasn't clear if Gaara hated him, but he clearly didn't want Naruto to be anywhere near him. But he couldn't just ignore him, he couldn't just cast him away...

"He...hello," he found he couldn't think of anything clever to say now that he was right there, with Neji's sad eyes and Gaara's terrified gaze on him. "It's good to see you back...both of you. How was...um, your vacation?"

"Hello, Neji." Sasuke, who Naruto had momentarily forgotten was there put an arm around him protectively and deliberately, turning a venomous glare toward the redhead, who visibly flinched. "Gaara. How _are_ you?"

"Sasuke...don't." Naruto had to fight the urge to hide in his lover's arms, because it hurt so bad to see both of them so damaged, and to feel like in a weird way, it was his fault. If only he could think of some way to fix it...something to cure that fear in Gaara's eyes, so he would know...know that it was really okay and he hadn't...

And it came to him, simple and sweet, but cruel, so cruel. He turned into Sasuke's arms, and they went around him tight, as though he'd been waiting for that, wanting to shelter him, and he wondered if he could do it, knowing the hurt he was going to cause, and realized that if Sasuke really meant everything he said...that it would be okay. Everything would be okay, and he could _make_ it okay. He knew he could. The answer was so simple, he wondered why it hadn't occurred to him until that moment.

"Sasuke," he breathed so that only his lover could hear, and he felt lips on his head, fingers in his hair undoing all of Sasuke's careful work from before. "Sasuke, I love you, but I have to do this if I'm going to fix things." He felt the other man go very stiff and still, and he knew that Sasuke at least had some idea of what he planned, and as he pulled away, he could see that Sasuke was not in the least bit happy about this, but as they looked at each other, he schooled his expression and gave a single, tight nod. He understood how important this was to him, and he was giving his permission, and so...

"Naruto?" Neji's voice cracked a little when the blonde turned and knelt in front of Gaara, smiling brilliantly and offering his hands. Gaara was looking at them as though they were live snakes, but Naruto spoke to him soothingly.

"It's okay. Come on, let's go talk." his tone was soft and gentle, and it was clear there was a conflict going on in Gaara's mind. He trusted Naruto, he knew him, he loved him...and yet he feared him, feared what he was capable of doing...so it was hard to say what he would do. Neji and Sasuke were both watching, one resigned, one hopeful, and they both started breathing again when Gaara took the hands and offered Naruto the briefest glimpse of a smile—the first such expression Neji had seen in weeks, and the Hyuuga wanted to cry out at the injustice of it. And just like that, the blonde led the redhead away, leaving the two brunettes to look at each other warily. Neji felt hope and despair mingled, and he wondered what it was Sasuke was feeling, having no idea that in a lot of ways, they felt the same in that moment.

----------

"Look, there's your opening!" Shiori hissed and pushed Kankurou toward Suri, who was miraculously alone. The blonde had been thinking that Chouji would _never_ leave her side a moment, which would have been a shame, as Kankurou really did clean up nice, and she should be admiring him instead of sheltering with Chouji.

"Um..." Kankurou managed only a panicked backwards glance before he had to control his forward momentum or plow right in to Suri, who smiled to see him, having grown used to his friendly company over the course of winter break.

_Finally. Now...just close the deal already._ Shiori willed Kankurou to stop the joking and comfortable camaraderie he'd fallen into with his ex. He needed to get serious if he really wanted her back, and unfortunately, he couldn't always rely on Shiori to back him up. _Maybe soon...you'll have to keep up the good work on your own._

_He really should have let me get Chouji out of the way, this would be over already, and it wouldn't have hurt me at all. His situation, after all was so much simpler than mine, and still he struggles. Idiot. He's too soft, and he doesn't even realize it._

But Kankurou, after all, wasn't really the sort of guy who _actually_ wanted a long-term relationship, no matter what he said, she knew he was just going through one of his whims. Even if he won Suri back, he'd be cheating on her again within the space of two months, three if he was too worn out from this effort to seek anyone else out for a while.

_Hell, if I went to him three hours after he got her to agree to get back together, he'd still want me, and he'd take me if I let him. That's just the sort of guy he is._ Kankurou...he claimed to be in love with Suri, but it didn't stop him sleeping with _her_ every chance he got. Some guys had no idea what they wanted. And even the ones who _thought_ they knew...they could be shown differently. She was sure of that. Now, in her own case, it was different. It wasn't like she _wanted_ to sleep with Kankurou. She just needed him for now, and sex was about all that man understood.

Shiori loved a challenge, and maybe that was why she had fallen in love with someone so inaccessible. But she could see that if she could only win him over, Shikamaru would never leave her, he would be true to her forever. He _thought_ that he loved Ino, that he wanted to always be with her, but he didn't realize, Ino was just a worn out, used-up, less intelligent version of Shiori. And Shikamaru loved someone who could challenge him intellectually. That was something Ino couldn't _possibly_ hope to do. Shiori wasn't even sure how she passed her classes, and thought it was likely she had planned the second pregnancy so that she would be spared the hard work and difficulty that was clearly beyond her offered by medical school. Shiori, however...she was the one Shikamaru had _really _been waiting for. That was something she knew for sure.

Slowly, she'd been growing closer to him, planting herself as his student and then as one of his circle to draw him in even closer and have more opportunity to spend time with him and endear herself to his friends. Dating Kankurou...she had thought that might be a mistake, because he clearly held the other man in contempt, but she figured that if nothing else, it appealed to his need to rescue her, the beautiful, brilliant girl who he must even now be falling more and more in love with every day. She'd been around him for months now, and she was sure that tonight would be a great chance to make her intentions known. Even if he initially rejected her, he wouldn't tell Ino for two key reasons.

First, she was irrational, and she would blame him. He didn't want to get in trouble for _not _doing anything. Second, he might say he didn't want her, but he did. She knew he did. So he'd keep her offer secret to save his chance until he was ready to accept, which might take time, but _would_ happen in the end.

Initially, things would be complicated. She might be his mistress, so then the role as Kankurou's girlfriend would continue to be convenient until he finally ended up closing the deal with Suri and severed his tie to her. She'd stop sleeping with _him_ at that point, which would likely cause him to actually focus on his ex. There was plenty she had done and did do for him, he hardly had room for complaint. And anyway, Suri was the one he wanted. It wouldn't break his heart to lose the girl he'd meant to break up with weeks ago.

_He is such an idiot in some ways...but I know he'll be all right. He's a lot smarter than people give him credit for, and even if he ends up wasting it, I'm sure he can win Suri back if he really focuses. He's the sort of guy that...if he can really be made to try, he can do anything he wants, get anything he wants._

_Except me, of course._

_We're too similar, our tricks don't really work on each other._

"Hey," she bent casually near Shikamaru, who was watching his wife rubbing her still-flat stomach and chattering amiably with Tenten, Hinata, and Sakura across the room. "Can you help me with something?"

"Hm?" he blinked and looked up at her, his expression dry and disinterested as always. In a weird way, that was one of the things that had drawn her to him. She wasn't used to guys...well, straight guys, looking at her without some spark of desire in their eyes, which would inevitably stare at her body rather than her face. No guy ever really took her seriously or listened to her the way Shikamaru did. He only cared about what she had to say.

She was looking forward to wiping that bland expression off his face, though.

"I was planning a surprise," she tilted her head toward Kankurou and flushed, letting him think what he would. "I need you." it tickled her to say that, knowing that he didn't know _how_ she meant it, how sincerely she really did need him, and had for months.

"Ugh." he rolled his eyes, but stood up very grudgingly. "Well?"

"It's out back, near the pool." she told him, and he heaved a great sigh before shuffling away. She intended to follow him, but she didn't want to alert Ino as to what she had in mind, so she stood around for a few moments, watching the blonde woman to see if she would even notice her husband had left the room. She was now listening to Tenten's stomach, and loudly speculating about what the boy inside would look like, much to Shino's embarrassment, so she had no idea what was going on.

Pleased with herself, Shiori left the room quietly, not realizing that at least one person _had_ noticed her leaving. She saw Gaara being pulled down the hall by Naruto, and wondered for about the twentieth time since she'd met them _what_ was going on between those two and their respective lovers.

_Whatever, now's not the time for gay-boy speculation._

She hurried down the hall after they closed the door to Gaara's room and went past it, out the back, where Shikamaru was standing, looking cold, annoyed, and impatient. "Well?" he asked as she slid the glass door closed, and she smiled brilliantly, twirling her skirt a bit. She knew how good she looked in this dress. It was deep purple satin, and it made her eyes seem darker than they were, her skin extremely pale.

"Do you like my dress?" she asked, doing a little spin, and he blinked at her in confusion.

"It's fine, I guess." he shrugged, and she giggled, "What's the surprise? Your amazing ability to spin your skirt? Because I'm going to warn you, Aki mastered that about two weeks ago, so you might have some competition."

"You really love your daughter, don't you?" she let the spin take her closer to him than she normally would have stood, especially in mixed company, but now...finally, she had him alone, she was looking her best, and after all this time, he must realize, even if he didn't _consciously _admit to it, what she was really after, what she had been since about three hours after she first met him. "You're a very good man, Shikamaru."

"It's hard not to," Shikamaru shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Ask Kankurou."

"You know, seeing you with her...it might be weird for some people," she leaned in, gently gripping his arms, "But it only makes me love you more." she breathed, soft as silk, and before the words or her closeness could really process, she pulled him to her for a kiss, perfect and soft, here in the winter moonlight. It was everything she'd been waiting for, and it was exactly like she knew it would be, the smell of him thick around her, his hands coming out his pockets to grip at her convulsively, and that _noise_ in his throat, so satisfying to hear him react. To hear him react to _her_.

But then it all went wrong.

"Shiori!" his hands, the warm grip that she had thought were pulling her in, pushed her away so hard she nearly tripped and fell into the pool. "What the _fuck_! I'm married!"

"I noticed," she rolled her eyes, trying to hide her hurt. Well, of course he would put up some token resistance. If it had really been _that_ easy, would she have been satisfied? "But you could do so much better. You know the only reason you're with her is because of Aki. Wake up, Shikamaru! You don't _have _to stay with her to have your daugther. You're much smarter and more responsible than her, you could probably get custody if you wanted, and she wouldn't really fight. She's got another one coming, she can keep that one." she offered a sly grin. "Or _does_ she?"

"What...what are you even..." his eyes were wide, his expression unreadable, so she pressed on.

"Well, it's awfully convenient." she explained, shrugging slowly. "I show up, medical school looming, what can she do to get out of all that work and keep you from leaving her? Oops, I'm pregnant again!" she clapped a hand to her mouth before laughing harshly and shaking her head. "Please, do you really believe that? She sees how you look at me. _I_ see...I understand, and I'm just letting you know, I want you, too."

"Shiori...I don't...don't look at you _any_ way." Shikamaru shook his head in disbelief. "You...she isn't like that. You don't have a clue what Ino's like, so don't pretend--"

"Are you kidding? I practically _am_ Ino, but smarter, prettier, and with more going for me." she flipped her blonde hair pointedly. "I'm the person you always _wish_ Ino was. You know," she lowered her voice and stepped forward, reaching out for his tie. "To start...I'd be fine with being your mistress. Or we could just give it a try, you know. See how you feel after we step into the pool house," she indicated the refurbished shed on the other side of the pool. "I promise, when I'm done with you, you won't even remember her _name_." she breathed, her voice low and husky.

"No thanks," Shikamaru batted her hands away, still looking shaky and surprised. Had he _really_ not expected this? No wonder it was giving him so much trouble. He probably thought she was kidding. "I don't get you. Aren't you dating Kankurou?"

"Why would you think I would _want_ to?" she asked, hands on hips. "He's nowhere near my league, _you're_ the one I want, and he's just the easiest path. Don't think I'll stop now, after one little rejection."

"Wait...but aren't you sleeping with him?" Shikamaru's eyes bugged out in alarm. "Or is he just making all that up?"

"Oh, I am," from the look of disgust on his face, this was clearly a mistake. "Only so I can get to you...if you want me to stop, maybe you should say something..."

"What?" he snorted, stepping around her so he could grab the handle of the door to let himself back in. "Tell him you're throwing yourself at every other guy in the house? No thanks, I saw what happened to Chouji, I'd rather you just fuck it up yourself. And if anyone deserves someone two-timing him..."

"It's not every other guy!" she was a bit annoyed at that, but he was back in before she even finished her protest, racing down the hall toward his wife, away from her. "It's just...just you. It was always you."

----------

"I got her the cutest onesie, it has little ears, she looks like a little bear cub in it." Suri told Kankurou, who was only paying her cursory attention. He was interested in Shizuka, sure, but he was planning to tell Shiori he'd changed his mind tonight. New Years love confession, who could resist that? Not that he'd say love, that was not a good idea, he was pretty sure. "Chouji took pictures, I'm sure, you should ask him to show you. Or you'll see her in it soon, probably. It's so adorable."

"Sounds nice." he smiled briefly and turned just in time to see Shiori leaving the room alone. Perfect. Probably she was going to the bathroom, and on the way out, before she came back in here, he'd catch her alone, kiss her and tell her...well, he'd think of something awesome to say when the time came. He was sure of that. "Hey, I gotta run to the bathroom real quick, but I'll be back, cool?"

"Oh...sure, that's fine!" Suri seemed so pleased every time she had a friendly conversation with Kankurou, that he was starting to wonder if she really _did_ still have a thing for him, or just genuinely wanted them to be friendly. Well...now that he'd realized he was in love with Shiori, it would have to be the second one, after all. He glanced back to see her talking to Sai and then headed on toward the bathroom...but the light was off, and it was open, clearly empty.

"Shiori?" he walked toward the dark kitchen, thinking maybe she'd wanted something to drink other than champagne or cider, but as he moved across the foyer, he caught a flash of gold in the corner of his eye and saw she was outside by the pool, her hair glistening in the moonlight, her skin ephemeral in the glow reflected by the water.

_Oh man, this is going to rule._ The atmosphere out there would be just perfect for telling her...well, whatever it was he felt he could afford to admit to at this point. But as he walked down the hall, he saw that she wasn't alone. She was talking to Shikamaru, twirling her dress, smiling at him and then...and then...

_You have to be kidding me..._

Even as she leaned in, her hands on his arms, her face softer and sweeter than he had _ever_ seen it, he wanted to believe he wasn't seeing this, or that he was making assumptions that were clearly wrong. Shiori would never...and Shikamaru would _definitely_ never...Ino would kill him and string him up.

When her lips met his, Kankurou felt his heart stop.

_I can't...can't breathe._

He saw Shikamaru grab her, and his vision blurred, and he _couldn't breathe_, and he had to get out, get away, somehow...somehow...he whirled and ran across the foyer, hoping they hadn't seen him, but knowing there was no way they had. Not with the way she'd been looking at him, focusing so completely on him. And how could Shikamaru resist that? How could anyone with an ounce of sanity?

He nearly fell down the stairs in his rush to get down them, away, _far_ away from that thing he'd seen, that horrible thing that he had missed guessing at somehow. He'd always been able to guess these things when it came to his friends, but now...now when it was right in front of his face. He slammed his door and collapsed on his bed, despair and anger mingling, causing him to pound his fists into his pillow and curse and yell even as tears spilled from his eyes.

_I guess I know what she wanted now. No wonder she didn't bother to tell me. They've probably been seeing each other behind my back for a while now. Probably just biding her time until he leaves Ino or she finds out and kills them both._

_I can't believe...she'd fuck me and then turn around and look at him like that...does it really mean so little? And she was going to hook up with Chouji, just to help me...and she doesn't even _care_ about me! I know she'll just turn on him, too, even if she actually gives a shit about him._

Which he had seen she did. He wasn't actually that familiar with the adoring expression he'd seen on her face, but it wasn't completely alien to him, having lived with all these sappy couples for years.

Shiori loved Shikamaru, or at least thought that she loved him, that was clear.

_But does she even know that? Or does she just think it's fun fucking up people's lives? God, and how can Shikamaru do that to Ino? She's pregnant with his _second_ fucking kid!_

But as righteous as these thoughts made him feel, he knew that his greatest concern was that if Shiori loved Shikamaru, there really wasn't any place for Kankurou in her heart. And the thought of sleeping with her while she played her part...after seeing the way she looked at _him_...it made him feel sick.

Eventually, he calmed down enough to breathe properly, to stop beating the stuffing out of his pillow, and to stem the flow of tears, but the pain was deep. He couldn't make _any_ girl really care about him. Not Suri, and not Shiori. He glanced at his clock, worn out and emotionally exhausted. 12:35.

That's weird, Temari hadn't stormed down her to yell at him for missing midnight. Well, with Kiba and Hinata here, she was probably distracted, so that was fine. Although...he really wished he could feel like he was important to _anyone_ at that moment. No one had noticed he'd been gone, no one had cared that he'd missed the party. Not his sister, not his girlfriend, not anyone.

He rolled over and stared at the wall, miserable, and heard the doorknob turn.

"Kankurou?" Shiori's voice made his every muscle tense. He thought he'd deadened the ache, but her voice cut him deeply. "Are you awake?" she crept into the room, closing the door and lowering her voice so as not to wake him if he was sleeping.

"Yeah." He didn't turn to face her. He couldn't look at her right then. It hurt so badly just to hear her voice, it seemed like if he saw her, he might die.

"You missed midnight." there was a clunking that was probably Shiori removing her shoes and then a soft, drunken giggle. "I was gonna kiss you."

"Really?" he couldn't keep the cynicism out of his tone, and he clenched his teeth when she fell into the bed, draping her warm, soft limbs over him, the satin brushing his skin, her hair tickling his cheek.

"Of course!" she giggled again, as if realizing she'd forgotten to whisper that time. "Of course..." she repeated in a very loud whisper. "I can kiss you now." Another burst of giggles, her hair jiggling over his skin. "It's bad luck not to kiss at midnight, ya know."

"Don't strain yourself." he grumbled, lifting an arm to shift her aside, but she only slipped under it, falling over his other side so that she was lying next to him, face to face. She smelled like champagne, but unmistakably, under that, the peach smell of her skin and the soft smell of her shampoo filled his senses.

"Don't." his breathing was harsh, and though he wanted her to leave, he was gripping her arms tight enough he was probably hurting her a little. "I can't...not right now."

"Oh? So did you get Suri to--" he kissed her then, deep and desperate and drunk on her. Instead of her stopping him, she wriggled closer and slipped a hand down to the waistband of the slacks he was still wearing.

"S—stop." he pulled back, breathing ragged and voice cracking. "I don't want--"

"It _feels_ like you _do_ want," Shiori giggled and tilted her head, licking the shell of his ear as she cupped him with a warm, knowing hand. "C'mon, we should celebrate your victory."

"Why...why are you..." Kankurou was nearly sobbing as he struggled to control his body, which was swiftly betraying him in favor of Shiori's encouraging caresses. "You don't...don't even...I'm not who you want."

"You're not who I want," she ground against him, pushing him onto his back and climbing on top of him. "That doesn't stop you."

"And I didn't...have any victory." he hissed sharply as sucked his earlobe and opened his pants at the same time, giving her hands better access. "So just...just go. Tonight's been fucking...miserable, I don't feel...feel like..."

"Aw, come on," she wrapped a hand around his length and squeezed, breathing on his ear, knowing how that usually affected him. "Don't be sad, it doesn't suit you. You'll cheer up in a second, I know." she moved, and he released her, thinking she was going to climb off him, but instead she moved down and took him in her mouth, causing him to let out a choked noise of surprise.

"Gah...fuck..." it took everything he had to concentrate on pushing her away. What she was doing felt amazing, and a large part of him thought it was better to just get what he could out of her. "N—no!" he bent and grabbed her shoulders, hefting her off of him. She released him with a little popping noise and even in the dim moonlight coming through the small window near his ceiling, he could see that she was surprised, and maybe even a little hurt. "I said stop."

"What the hell, you want me to beg you or something?" her voice had anger in it, and he was glad. He wanted to hurt her, after what she'd done to him, knowing he could actually upset her was amazingly comforting. "God, I've never known _you_ to turn down sex, no matter what token protest you put up. I'd ask if Suri chopped it off, but I can see you're intact, so maybe it turns out you're more serious about her than I thought. Well, bravo, I really thought that even if you got her back, you'd still never turn me down, and you proved me wrong. Hurrah for love, I guess."

"You should be the one pushing me away," his voice was full of disapproval. "How long have you and Shikamaru been together?"

"We...what are you talking about?" her tone was overly innocent, and it didn't fool him for a moment.

"Don't worry, I found out firsthand how much love means to you tonight." he snorted in disgust. "I saw you two in back...and it's obvious, the way you look at him. Either you're using him and you're a better actress than even I thought, or you're in love with him. So why are you in here trying to get in _my_ pants so bad?"

"Fine." her tone was suddenly flat. She could see there was no point lying to him or hiding the truth if he knew that much. Ino hadn't tried to have her killed yet, so clearly he wasn't intending to blow the whistle, which frankly, would have surprised her in any case. "Yeah, that's what I'm after, but _for your information_, we're not together. Yet. I was making a play for him tonight, and he said some bullshit about Ino. But you wait, he'll come to me. He didn't say anything to Ino, did he? So he must be thinking it over."

"Oh please," Kankurou snorted again, but at the pained expression on her moonlit face, he realized that she wasn't trying to trick him. "Really? He turned you down?"

"For now, he did." she admitted huffily. "As you said yourself, why else would I be here with you?"

"You sure know how to make a guy feel special, Shiori." he shook his head and heaved a sigh. "Well shit, I knew he loved Ino, but damn, to say no to you...and in that dress, man, he must be like her _slave_."

"You know, after a rejection like that, a girl could really do with an ego boost." she frowned. "Add to that all the champagne I had...but _you_ turned me down, too! You!"

"Fuck, I have some self-respect." at the incredulous look on her face, he turned away, feeling ashamed and foolish. "Look...I don't want to talk about it, okay? I've decided you aren't exactly the most trustworthy confidante I could find, okay?"

"Hey, with the secrets you have on me, you think I'd tell anyone about whatever it is?" she arched her brow. "I was already helping you with Suri _before_ you knew shit about me. So now what do you think's going to happen?"

"So..." Kankurou looked at her thoughtfully. "All those times we...I mean, you and I...when we were together..."

"When we fucked?" she blinked at him and heaved a sigh. "God, are you going to ask if I was thinking of him?" Kankurou nodded, relieved that he didn't have to say it, and she rolled her eyes. "Men, so typical. All you really give a shit about is what I think about how you are in bed."

"Well?" Kankurou wasn't about to tell her how much this idea bothered him, and how it didn't have very much at all to do with his own worries about his bedroom prowess.

"No, okay?" she told him. "I'm not that imaginative. Or bitchy, whichever you prefer. I can't really...picture someone else. Okay? I just have sex with whoever I'm _actually_ having sex with."

"And...so all the stuff...all your reactions and things, the noises..." Kankurou pressed. "I mean, you're a pretty good actress, so I mean, I've been wondering if you...you know, if you're faking. Since...well, you said I wasn't actually...very great..."

"Geez, I said you were seven out of ten, not the worst I'd ever had!" Shiori rolled her eyes. "Okay, I won't lie, I've faked it before with guys to get it to end, you know? But you're good enough I don't need to bother with that. Not that it means you're mind-blowing or anything! I'm just saying you're good, not the greatest ever, but good. After all that practice, it'd be sad if you didn't score at least five, so don't get _too_ excited."

"Oh! Well," Kankurou suddenly felt a lot better than he'd thought possible after seeing Shiori kissing Shikamaru. He couldn't believe the other man had rejected her, and even though she was determined to keep at it, he thought that if Shikamaru could reject her when he wasn't expecting to have to, and with her looking like _this_, surely it would only get easier for him. And so maybe...maybe she'd eventually give up on him. And maybe by then he could work his score up to eight or nine.

He pulled Shiori to him, kissing her long and soft, taking his time until she had to pull away, panting.

"So...now you're in the mood?" she breathed, trying for annoyed and falling far short. Kankurou could feel her hands trembling at his side, could hear the waver in her voice. Seven in bed, maybe, but he definitely knew how to kiss. He knew that a really good kiss could be enough to get a girl to agree to go home with you, so he'd spent years perfecting that skill. "After all that, you think I still want to?"

"Let's see," his lips brushed hers and she let out a little noise. He could tell she wanted him to kiss her again, but he wasn't going to make it that easy. It was all about the anticipation, and if he could restrain himself, she could learn to wait. He slid a hand down her waist, over the edge of her hitched up skirt, and then underneath that, taking satisfaction at the hitch of breath as his hand moved up her thigh. Then, before he could reach his aim, he kissed her again, pouring not only his desire, but also all of the emotion that he knew he couldn't vocalize at this point. It was amazingly effective, and she bucked against him, causing his fingers to brush against the juncture of her legs. "Feels like you want it," he teased, and she pushed him down, claiming his lips once more.

It was nice to feel wanted, and even if this was nothing more than lust for her...maybe it could grow into something else. If Shikamaru could stand firm, she'd be heartbroken, and he certainly wasn't averse to picking up the pieces. The idea of a vulnerable Shiori, a Shiori relying on him...it was a terrifying idea, but an amazing one as well. He wanted to prove that he could deserve her. And of course, he wanted her to revise his score.

Maybe he could even get her to give him a ten, but to be honest, he'd settle for her looking at him the way he'd seen her looking at Shikamaru.

----------

"Temari, I was so glad to be invited over," Hinata's face was flushed with happiness, and Suteru was looking happy and content at her side, though he kept eying Kiba warily, as though he somehow expected the other man to lunge forward, sweep Hinata over his shoulder, and run out with her. "I have thought many times on how I might reconcile with you, as you were a very important person to me, and I hated the thought of losing you over something...stupid." her thoughts catching up with her words, the girl went very red and couldn't bring herself to meet Kiba, Temari, or even Suteru's eyes. "I am...going to get some food, I think."

"Good to see you again," Suteru watched Hinata rush off as he spoke to Temari. "It really did make her day to hear she was wanted here, you have no idea."

"Well, to be frank," she answered. "It's unfair of me to invite Kiba and not her, and I'm not the only one in this house. I'm not going to punish my other friends because two people pissed me off. And I mean, think of how Neji would feel if I didn't invite her. I don't want to alienate my _actual_ friends."

"Um." Suteru clearly didn't know what to say with this, and he gave Kiba a confused look before chasing after his wife. Temari wondered if the fact that her ex had been tailing her all night made _everyone_ think they were back together, or just Suteru.

"Could you back off?" she hissed, turning and trying not to be hurt by the stricken expression on his face. "I let you come so you could see your friends, would you leave me alone?"

"But..." Kiba was clearly at a loss. This was her own fault, going to him over and over again, letting him think things, letting herself fall into the comfort of his arms, and now he was making assumptions. "I thought..."

"Ugh, okay, fine," she gripped his hand in hers and pulled him out of the room, setting her flute of champagne down on the side table in the foyer. It was only eleven, there was still time to clear the air before midnight. Considering the very real possibility that he might try to kiss her at that point _in front of everyone,_ it seemed best to have a long-overdue discussion. "We need to talk."

"Oh! Good," he glanced at Kankurou, who had just ran for the basement door like he was going to put out a fire and then smiled at Temari. "I've been wanting to, since that night, but you didn't seem to--"

"Look," she looked around, thought about her options and decided it would be better not to go upstairs. That would likely end badly. Instead, she pulled him to the bathroom, so at least they'd have privacy. It was clear he actually thought she wanted him back, but that was ridiculous. Why would she?

_Then why can't you leave him alone? Why did you _really_ invite him tonight?_

"Here, listen," she locked the door and turned to him, taking a deep breath. "The thing is, I don't trust you, I don't think I ever will, and I'm not going to forgive you, so just because I've slipped a little--"

"Wait, what?" Kiba looked utterly dumbfounded, but his expression was clearly hurt. "You're trying to say you _don't_ want us to...you and I, I mean...well then why do you keep..."

"I told you, that wasn't..." she took a breath and balled her fists, trying to focus herself, trying to stay calm. "I didn't _mean_ for that to happen."

"Maybe not the first time," Kiba snorted in disbelief. "But what about after that? Over and over...you've been hooking up with me once or twice a day for two weeks! I stayed here because I thought you wanted to work things out. Are you trying to tell me you just...accidentally forgot that usually exes don't have sex or something? Is that why you wouldn't say anything when I'd say...because I love you, and it's not...not right to fuck with someone like that. And it doesn't make sense, Temari, if you really don't want to be with me anymore, what the hell was all that about? I mean, I don't exactly think I'm so fucking irresistible you just _couldn't_ get enough! What the fuck!? Is that like...your revenge or something?"

"I don't know," she scowled, annoyed at her own inability to answer this in a suitable fashion. "Maybe it was."

"Are you...what the _fuck_?" Kiba's face twisted in misery, and Temari felt her stomach fall through her feet as he turned from her, trying to hide the fact that he was crying in earnest. "That's...fucked up..."

"You...you're the one who jumped in bed with your ex while we were still dating!" Temari wished her voice wouldn't shake, she wished she didn't want to hug him, to apologize and tell him she hadn't meant it, that she wouldn't do anything like that out of spite or revenge. That really...maybe it was true...

_Maybe I really do want him back...I just can't be honest with myself._

"S—so what?" he sniffed and rubbed at his face, but she could still see he was crying, so it didn't make her feel much better. "Should I expect you to just drop in whenever you f—feel like rubbing it in, or was this the whole point? To get my hopes up and then break my fucking heart on goddamn New Years? God, what a fucked up thing to do, Temari, fuck...do you have any...idea how this f—feels?"

"Kiba..." she could see that she was on the edge of a precipice now. Before...everything she did with Kiba, she could see that really, if she wanted him back, he'd be waiting for her. Or would he? Maybe...maybe she was concerned he'd find someone else if she left him too long, and maybe in the end...she really couldn't imagine being without him even after what had happened. Now...if she shut him out now, she felt sure that there would never be any way back to where they were. "Kiba..."

_If only I knew what I wanted...really knew._

_I know that I want to be with him, that's all I've wanted for years, but now...now if I take him back, everyone will know..._

_What will they know? That I love him, that even if he makes mistakes, I still want to be with him, so if I ever stumble and fall...maybe he'll be there for me?_

_Is my pride really worth the misery I'm causing him? The pain I'm causing myself with my stupid selfish indecision?_

_Dammit Temari, forget everyone else. Just think of Kiba, think of yourself. If there's no one else, what would you do? What do you _really_ want?_

The answer was simpler than she'd thought possible.

"Kiba," she said his name a third time, and this time, it felt like a balm, instead of something she was stretching for that she only hoped could save her. "I'm sorry, I'm not...not being entirely honest. Or fair. And it isn't right that I go on about not trusting you and then refuse to tell you the truth, but the fact of the matter is that it's been hard for me to see the truth for myself."

"What...what do you mean?" he blinked at her, sniffling again and she smiled softly, reaching up to brush his tears away, but he flinched away from her hand, and she winced, realizing that she really _had_ pushed this too far. She stepped forward, and he was trapped between her and the counter, so he allowed her to reach up, but it was clear he was afraid this was some new trick, some further torture she felt he deserved to be submitted to.

_What's wrong with me? Look how badly I hurt him...was it worth it? He hurt me too...but I don't think he ever meant to._

And suddenly, it struck her that after what had just happened, even if he'd been willing to have her back before, he might no longer believe he could trust her, and she felt a cold knot of terror tighten in her stomach at the thought. She bit her lip and carefully wiped his eyes, feeling guilt thicken as she did, as she saw the wary expression on his face. She could see he was wondering what she was up to, now, why she was dragging this out.

"Kiba, I'm trying to say that...it wasn't revenge or anything like that. I missed you," she admitted. "And...and I wanted you back, but it was just...something I wasn't ready to admit to myself, or to you."

"But...why?" he asked, his face full of hurt and confusion. "Why wouldn't you just...just say that? What's with all this? Is this even what you really want, or is it some...some trick?"

"No...no," she insisted, shaking her face and lowering her eyes as she felt despair rise up. She really had pushed him away so hard this time...was it possible she couldn't get him back anymore? Now that she felt such dread at the idea, she didn't know what stopped her admitting her feelings all this time. "It was...I'm sorry, there's no reason good enough...and I'm sorry. My...my pride wouldn't let me, and I..."

"You really hate to compromise so much..." Kiba sighed heavily, and she felt a clenching pain in her chest. Was he going to leave her this time? But she felt his hand tilt her chin up to look at him, his face still a little blotchy, but it was the face she'd loved for so long now...seeing him sad only hurt her. Knowing she had caused that was immeasurably worse. "How can I believe you'll suddenly give in like this?"

"You...were ready to before..." she hazarded, her lip shaking slightly as she waited for him to kiss her or push her away, still not sure which he intended. "I've been...stupid, and I'm sorry. I do...do want to work things out. It's too hard to think of losing you for good, and it's not worth it, not worth my stupid pride..."

"Do you love me?" he asked, and she blinked at him in surprise, not having expected such a simple question.

"I...yes, of course I do." she flushed, and tried to look down, but he held her chin up, grabbing her face with both his hands and forcing him to look him in the eye.

"Say it, then." his voice was soft, but the tone was firm, and she knew that this was his condition. "Make me believe you mean it." She felt sick to her stomach. She _knew_ she loved him, but how was she meant to convince him of that after what she'd just put him through? Could her words really be enough to counter everything she'd said and done, everything that had come between them? How could he ask her to overcome every doubt he had that simply? Because in her case...certainly, hearing him say it over and over, all his apologies, every sweet promise he made, it had worked under her skin, but not until _this moment, _knowing how truly lost he could be to her, had she seen that whether or not he had hurt her, whether or not she had hurt him, she needed him to go on, and wanted him back no matter what. How could three words hold so much meaning?

_But he's always been different from me. I think...if I say it sincerely, if I look at him with love, instead of with doubt or fear, and really _say_ it, then I think...I think that's what he's looking for. He's always been able to read emotions so much better than me, I don't think he even realizes it...but it's true._

"Kiba," she let the syllables calm her, wash over her slowly, ground her and ease her sudden panic. _If I can just do this...I've done it a million times, and all I have to do is show him it's still true, I still mean it. I still love him, and I still want him._ "Kiba," she repeated, blinking but keeping her eyes on his. If she couldn't meet his eyes, her words would never convince him, that at least she understood. "I love you." her voice shook, and when he didn't say anything she felt her heart leap to her throat, and she repeated herself, "I love you," this time, her voice cracked, and tears came to her eyes, and she felt a fool, but if she couldn't let go of her pride with him, then who could she be herself with? "I love you." the last time, it was a bare whisper, and she wasn't sure he even heard it, but even though he didn't say anything right away, the change in his face, the way it melted and warmed, that at least she could read. Temari knew then that he understood and accepted her.

"I know," he finally said, and she wasn't sure if he was teasing her or what, she was too relieved to care, and she threw her arms around his neck and he kissed her, and it was so wonderful just to feel the honesty of it, and not to fear anything. There was no reason to be afraid with him there, between the two of them, they could get through anything, as long as she remembered to believe in him.

It had been a hard lesson, but the reward was sweet.

----------

"Here," Naruto kept his tone gentle as he pulled Gaara into his own bedroom, and he went along easily enough, but as soon as the door was shut, he could hear that the redhead was starting to breathe fast, and was likely very near to having a panic attack. That didn't surprise Naruto too much, this was where it had happened, and it had been with him, so it made sense that being in this room, alone with him, was enough to upset Gaara. "Come on," he pulled on the hand he hadn't dropped yet, guiding Gaara toward the bed. The first step was fine, even though his eyes were widening, his breathing quickening, and his skin becoming noticeably clammy. But as soon as Gaara realized Naruto was leading him to the bed, he yanked away, trying to pull out of his grip.

Naruto had expected this, so he held firm, using his free hand to grab Gaara's other hand as well, pulling backward toward the bed another step, and another, each one a struggle. Gaara was making little fearful noises, but when Naruto finally reached the bed, he pulled away with all his strength, and nearly sent them both to the ground since the blonde held on just as tightly, and he couldn't get away.

"No, no!" Gaara's voice didn't even sound like his own, and it nearly broke Naruto's heart to hear it like this, so full of terror and guilt. "No! Nonono!" he was struggling like a madman, and Naruto almost wanted to release him, but he thought that really, this was an important point for him to make. He grunted with effort, shifting their footing and shoving him down hard, pinning the redhead on the bed, where he continued to try to escape, tears now leaking from his eyes as he stopped yelling out protests, instead just breathing so fast that Naruto thought he was at risk of hyperventilating. So he bent down and kissed him, taking over breathing for both of them while concentrating on holding Gaara down until the struggles ceased, and he went limp underneath Naruto. Still holding his wrists, so Gaara wouldn't try for a sudden escape, he pulled up and blinked down at him. He was still breathing rather faster than normal, but it was more like he was out of breath from the struggle and the shared breathing that had calmed him down enough to at least stop fighting.

"Sorry," Naruto told him. "I hope I didn't hurt you or anything, but I thought it was important that I show you how strong I am." he gave him a sheepish grin, and Gaara blinked in surprise, his breath hitching momentarily as he processed this. "So, I mean, I know what you think, I know you think that you did something horrible to me, and that's why you're like this now, but don't you think that if you really had hurt me, that I'd be afraid to be alone with you? Do you think I'd feel safe with you if I thought you could really hurt me, even if I ever thought you really would?"

"But...I..." Gaara was clearly at a loss. He frowned at Naruto before putting another slight struggle up, to no effect. "I forced you, that time. I know it."

"Okay, truth," Naruto pursed his lips before speaking. "I wasn't expecting what happened that day. Because of things between Sasuke and I, if I _had_ been expecting that, I wouldn't have come in here in the first place. It surprised me, and yeah, I fought you, but I'll tell you another thing. There's a big difference between having someone you love want you when you aren't expecting it and having someone you _don't_ love or trust at all just come and take without anything between you. It's not like you laid there and asked me if I wanted to have a quickie, you just _did_ it. But you and I had done stuff like that a hundred times before, and even if I said...you know, we shouldn't do that anymore, it wasn't because I didn't want to, it was because...you know, interpersonal stuff. It's like...just now, I pushed you down on the bed, and I kissed you, but I never asked permission, did I? And if I wanted to, I could do this," he ground against Gaara, who gasped and shuddered, and became aroused almost at once. Naruto blinked, "if I...well, do you feel like I'm forcing you? Like I'm hurting you? Am I like your uncle right now?"

"N—no..." Gaara writhed, and Naruto could see the realization sinking in, could hear, his panicked breathing changing to mewling pants as Naruto ground against him again.

"Um, Gaara," Naruto frowned at the man trembling beneath him. "You're...um, really...you need to stop making those noises." he hadn't expected to lose control of this situation, but Gaara felt good, he always had, and those noises were enough to drive anyone crazy. "Or I won't...be able to stop."

"I c—can't..." Gaara whimpered and Naruto nearly came undone. Between that, the feeling of Gaara beneath him, and the glazed over desire that had driven all the fear out of his expression, it was not something that was easy to ignore, much less something he was used to telling himself _not_ to respond to. "It's been...so long..."

"Gaara...I didn't come in here to have sex with you," he told him flatly, moving away, not wanting to seem afraid, but also not wanting to let things progress any further. He was pretty sure Sasuke would accost him as soon as he left this room, and he didn't want to be sporting a full erection. Despite his lover giving him carte blanche to do whatever he felt he needed in here, he didn't think it was fair to anyone for him to do more than what he had, just to get his point across, and he also didn't think it would make Sasuke very happy if he came out of here looking like he'd been _seriously_ fooling around. And Neji might be waiting out there, he didn't feel like he could live it down if he had to greet both men if he couldn't get himself under control. Suddenly, a thought occurred to him as he stood up and Gaara squirmed on the bed in discomfort and disappointment. "Gaara...how long has it been since Neji and you had sex?"

"Since...since before." he admitted.

"Geez, no wonder he looked like someone's died." Naruto goggled at him. "I mean, I get why you were freaked out by me, because you thought maybe you'd pushed me too far, but how come you didn't want to sleep with Neji? Is there something going on?"

"I didn't...well, I'm actually kind of..." Gaara flushed and curled on the bed, concealing his arousal without sitting up. "I don't know if I'm ready."

"You seemed pretty ready about five seconds ago." Naruto told him.

"Well, it isn't like I don't feel things anymore." Gaara frowned. "But I'm afraid to let myself get swept away...afraid I'll go too far again."

"Gaara, I really don't think there is a 'too far' for Neji when it comes to you." Naruto shook his head in disbelief. "How could you even think that? I mean...it's Neji! He's so crazy about you, I don't think there's anything you could try that he would possibly have a problem with, and I mean, considering his previous experience, I doubt there's anything you could try that would really freak him out. Plus, I mean, did you talk to him about this at all?"

"Um." Gaara curled up in a tighter ball and Naruto sighed heavily, sitting down beside him.

"Are you serious? You realize you cut him off for two weeks, so he probably thinks you hate him or something." Naruto pointed out. "I don't even know what Sasuke would do if I did that to him. Probably start compulsively buying me things or something."

"Well...he knows I'm upset...about you." Gaara's voice was muffled since he was curled in on himself, and Naruto frowned down at the admittedly adorable ball of Gaara on the bed.

"So...were you guys still sleeping in the same bed while you were on vacation?" Naruto asked. He hadn't expected to get into anything like this when he brought Gaara in here, but it seemed necessary, if Gaara wasn't going to just tell Neji what was going on with him.

"Yeah," came the muffled reply.

"And did things ever get...like anywhere in that direction? Or were you too freaked out to cuddle or kiss or anything?" Naruto felt a little odd helping Gaara with his sex life, but then, Gaara had given him advice before about this sort of thing, and it wasn't like he was completely unfamiliar with the situation and exactly what took place between Neji and Gaara normally.

"Well...it would," Gaara admitted, uncurling enough to peer up at Naruto with a decidedly guilty look on his face. "But...but I would stop it going too far because...I would get scared. And eventually...Neji started sleeping on the couch, so then it wasn't..."

"Gaara!" Naruto clapped a hand to his forehead. "Did you tell Neji at all _why_ you were afraid, or what you were afraid of?" Gaara shook his head. "Well, you realize he probably thinks you're like, pissed at him or something. And if he started sleeping separate from you, he probably thinks that you _don't want him around_. You get that?"

"But...I stay near him in the day." Gaara frowned and Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I hang out with Sakura, but that doesn't mean there's anything serious between us but friendship. You see what I'm saying?" he explained simply. "Neji loves you, and he's always going to stay with you as long as you want him. But if he thinks you _don't_ want him...I mean, didn't you see how miserable he looked out there? He thinks you're getting ready to leave him, Gaara!" there was a pause. "You still love him, right? You still want to be with him?"

"Of course." Gaara frowned as though this were a foolish question. "I always will. He knows that."

"Okay, well I'm just saying," Naruto heaved another sigh. "If every time you were getting close to Neji he freaked out and shut down whenever things got interesting, after how you guys have always been, I mean...what would _you_ think?"

"I would..." Gaara paused and frowned still deeper, concern on his face now. "Oh...oh no." he sat up and blinked at Naruto. "I did not think of that."

"Yeah, I guessed that." Naruto shook his head. "Look, here, look at me," he leaned over and cupped Gaara's cheek. "I get it if you still need time, I mean, I know it really freaked you out, but you didn't hurt me, you get that, right?"

"I...yes, I understand." Gaara blushed, and impulsively, he hugged Naruto and let out a shuddering sob. "I...I miss you very much sometimes." his voice cracked. "I thought I had ruined everything that was left...I wanted to die."

"Don't rely on me so much," Naruto smiled softly and kissed Gaara's forehead. "I'm glad to be your friend, but Neji is the one you ought to rely on."

"I...I know." Gaara sniffed and Naruto wiped his eyes with his thumb. "It's hard."

"Talk to Neji so he understands, okay?" Naruto told him. "He'll listen. Thinking you're sick of him is killing him, so you'd better do it soon. Like, tonight. I know it's hard to talk about, but think of how much he's hurting."

"I know, I will." Gaara nodded slowly. "You're right."

"I love you," Naruto assured him, dropping a soft kiss on his lips, and Gaara smiled tremulously as he got up. "Just be honest and everything will be fine." he walked to the door and left, completely unsurprised to see Sasuke pacing the foyer. "Hey, I didn't miss midnight, did I?" he asked, trying for levity, but he was swept up in the other man's embrace so quickly he lost his breath as well as his train of thought. "Sasuke, it's okay...I'm fine."

"Did you...did he...did you both..." Sasuke's voice cracked, and Neji, who he hadn't even seen poised in the kitchen bypassed them both to go to his room and be sure his own lover was okay. "Together...did you...did you..."

"We didn't have sex, Sasuke," Naruto assured him, and Sasuke's body relaxed so swiftly it was obvious this was what he had thought was what Naruto was planning. "I just...I knew I'd have to probably kiss him a bit...you know, and I didn't want to...without you being okay with it. Especially alone, I'm sure you were worried, and I didn't mean to make you--"

"Idiot," Sasuke pressed him to the wall and kissed him so thoroughly Naruto felt his toes curl and his knees wobble. "Idiot...of course I thought you were going to...to...with him. Don't you know how hard it was for me to wait out here? I almost ran in there at one point, Neji had to stop me."

"Hey, I can handle myself." Naruto knew he should be offended that Sasuke was being so over-protective, but really, for Sasuke, given the situation, it was amazing he'd been allowed in that room alone with Gaara. And besides, it was hard to be upset after a kiss like that. "But I didn't think it would be fair to anyone for me to do that with him. Not after...everything."

"Well...next time be more clear!" Sasuke insisted, and he kissed him again, holding him tight and squeezing the air out of him, so Naruto wasn't sure if he was lightheaded from the kiss, or lack of oxygen, or both.

"Sasuke..." Naruto breathed when they pulled apart. "I think...think I need to get ready." There was a pause before Sasuke's expression when from stern to amused, and he nearly hauled him toward the stairs and their bedroom. It occurred to Naruto they might miss midnight with everyone else...but this was the person he most wanted to spend his new year with, so he didn't feel like it was a bad thing, necessarily.

----------

"Gaara," Neji felt jealous. For the first time in ages, he was jealous of Naruto, but not because of his feelings for Gaara, or even because of Gaara's feelings for him. Seeing his lover trust the blonde, take his hand and leave with him when every inch he'd gained with Gaara had to be fought for...it was unbearable, it was unfair. "Are you okay?" Part of him, a crazy, irrational part wanted Gaara to _not_ be okay, to need Neji to fix things, to not have gotten any help from Naruto. That part hurt when Gaara smiled softly at him and he knew that whatever Naruto had said or done, it had been what he had needed, and finally...maybe he could start to feel better.

_But he doesn't need me anymore, so I don't know why I'm surprised. Naruto's always been better about this sort of thing, anyway._

"I'm...we need to talk." Gaara was on the bed. That Naruto could get him to deal with that phobia and overcome it so quickly added to the pain that Neji was already feeling, and he almost didn't want to sit next to him, but he couldn't refuse Gaara. He never could, in the end.

_He's going to break up with me. Now that he sees how useless I was...fuck, a half hour alone with Naruto and it's almost like nothing ever happened. I had two weeks, and it barely made any difference._

He could feel his hands shaking as he sat, and he hoped that Gaara didn't notice, but after a painfully long pause, his twitching fingers were covered gently by Gaara's own warm grip, and he felt the air in his lungs freeze. He stared at their hands together, thinking that wouldn't hurt as bad as seeing whatever expression was on Gaara's face, but it still ached, seeing the contrast of their fingers latticed over each other. This had once been a sight to calm him, to comfort him...but now...

"I'm sorry...about all this," Gaara's voice was soft, and Neji wasn't sure how much longer he could go before the tears threatening to well up spilled forth. He'd done everything he could, given everything he had, but it hadn't been enough, not even close. "Sorry I let things get so far."

_I can't believe this is happening. If someone told me one month ago this is how I would spend my New Years, I would have told them they were an idiot. I became too complacent, and I stopped...I lost whatever it was I had that kept him with me, and now...now I'm losing him._

_And I'm probably going to cry like a fourteen-year-old girl._

He could feel the tears building, he knew that it wouldn't take much to release them, and even if Gaara was as gentle as possible with him, it would be enough to let them flow. He wanted to pull his hands up to cover his face, but if he did, he wouldn't be touching Gaara anymore, and this moment...this might be the last...

"I love you," Gaara's words struck him deeply, and he looked up at once, face full of confusion. What was he doing? Trying to see how _bad_ he could make it? "I know you know that...you knew it before I did, I think, and sometimes I forget that just _thinking_ something isn't enough for you to know it. You know me better than I do sometimes, and I forget to tell you what I should..."

_Wait...what?_

"And...I know it's probably been difficult for you...with how I got about...everything," Gaara lifted Neji's hands in his, brushing the elegant fingers over his own cheek. "I don't want you to think I don't want you anymore. I do, I always do. I was just...afraid I would lose control and hurt you."

"You...do?" Neji blinked in complete surprise. "Wait...can you...I'm sorry, I think I didn't hear you right."

"Neji," Gaara released his hands and reached over, tracing the lines of his face, his expression so honest and full of love and adoration and need, things that Neji had grown so used to, he almost didn't see them there anymore. Only after seeing that blank expression for so long could he really appreciate how expressive his lover could be in private. "I never meant for you to doubt me. I will _always_ love you." his lip trembled slightly and he lunged in, crushing Neji against him in a frantic embrace that Neji was only too happy to return. "I was afraid...I still am, and I hope...hope you can be patient."

"If you love me...nothing else matters," Neji could feel the tears spilling down his cheeks, hitting Gaara's shoulder, but he couldn't make himself feel ashamed. "Nothing...I love you so much, you don't know how afraid I was...I thought you didn't want me anymore...that you were going to tell me...tell me to leave."

"Would you?" Gaara burrowed his face in Neji's neck, enjoying the play of skin and hair over his face.

"If you wanted me to go...I still don't know." Neji admitted. "I'd just try to stay out of your way...but could I really just...disappear? I don't think so."

"I would never want you to," Gaara assured him, kissing his throat now, and Neji let out a low noise of contentment and desire mingled as one. "I can't bear it...thinking of losing you, I would lose myself."

"I know the feeling," Neji sighed as Gaara leaned back, and he followed, falling onto the bed together and just staring at him, happy to be lying together without that blank look, without the questions and the fear. "Sorry I pushed you too far."

"No," Gaara was running his fingers through Neji's hair carefully. "Just...I think for a while, I'm not going to be okay with some things...so if you can be okay with that...it'll be fine."

"You don't want to top, do you?" Neji guessed, and Gaara nodded slightly. "But you still want to...be together."

"Yes, I want to." Gaara nodded again, more vehemently this time. "You have no idea how much I want to."

"I have a pretty good idea," Neji couldn't help smirking. "You aren't the only one who's gone weeks without any sex. Sleeping next to the hottest man alive...it's not easy."

"I'm not--"Gaara flushed and Neji cut him off with a kiss.

"You'll never know how beautiful you are," Neji assured him. "And if I'm saying it, you know it must be true."

"You can be very conceited at times, you know," Gaara's words might have bothered him if his tone wasn't husky, if his fingers weren't tangling in his hair, or if he wasn't so completely happy compared to how he had felt ten minutes ago. "It's good you are so beautiful that no one can argue with what you say."

"Gaara...can you promise me something?" Neji asked, letting his own fingers move through short red locks, so impossibly crimson they never ceased to fascinate him. "Next time something is bothering you, no matter how embarrassing or weird you think it is, just tell me, okay?"

"Sorry," Gaara flushed and Neji blinked at him expectantly. "Okay, I promise." he leaned in to kiss Neji, his fingers moving through the thick black hair to find the back of his lover's head, urging him into the contact.

Not that Neji needed encouragement.

----------

To be continued...


	30. Chapter 30

If I Fall

Chapter 30

----------

Shikamaru sat by Aki's bed, watching his daughter sleep peacefully as he thought through the night's events and considered what he should do about Shiori. He knew that if he told Ino, there would be an uproar, and he knew that would mean no longer tutoring the blonde, which was fine, but considering that she applied more regularly for hours than anyone else in the department, that also meant his paychecks would no longer be as dependable or steady. He had been setting aside money steadily, as much as he could every year, thanks to the fact that his scholarships and grants covered his tuition, it seemed smart to set something aside for his little family to have when school was over and they no longer lived by the forbearance of Temari. He knew Ino was setting aside money as well, but he made so much more as a tutor than she did working in the library. It wasn't as if Shiori was the only philosophy student who asked for tutoring, but he wasn't the only tutor in the department, and since she specifically requested him and signed up for his hours, it had been a comfortable source of income this year; last year he'd only managed to tutor maybe once a week, sometimes less, and had to supplement that with other, less lucrative work. If he had a job as a teacher's assistant, he might make close to this amount, and perhaps with the extra hours, if it were a particularly needy professor, he'd make near the same amount, but assistant jobs were fought over and had already been doled out, barring someone dying, he wasn't going to get anything that good this year; he'd have to settle for whatever else he could get, and he didn't bother imagining how much less he'd make with only a little tutoring work.

But if he didn't tell Ino, and she somehow found out...he still recalled the explosive fighting that had occurred between Shino and Tenten a couple years ago regarding the girl who wanted to wedge herself between them, and how much worse he had made it by not telling her the whole truth. _Not that Shiori kissing me in the backyard is quite as bad as him sleeping with that girl, but still...Tenten's a lot more reasonable about things like that than Ino would be._ He didn't want to risk losing her, he didn't want to risk losing his children, just because he was trying to make a little extra money, even if it was for his family's sake. It was an impossible situation. And he didn't want to be a whistle blower. But at the same time, didn't Kankurou deserve to know what was going on? However, he didn't want to get involved there, either. It was technically his business, he supposed, but it still felt like meddling. How did Ino do this sort of thing so easily, especially considering most of the things she involved herself in had nothing to do with her originally?

_What should I do?_

He'd wait a week; if nothing more happened, he'd tell Ino just to clear the air, but explain that he'd put an end to it. If something else _did_ happen...he'd still tell her, and he'd go along with it if she wanted him to stop tutoring Shiori. A good job wasn't worth losing his family. They were the reason he was trying to scrimp and save in the first place, if he lost them because of it, it was pointless. Also, somehow it made it seem more insignificant if he waited a little to tell her. Like he was saying it was something that didn't really matter, and it might easily slip his mind, an anecdote he'd tell her later only because something happened to remind him of it, nothing to worry about.

"Sweetie?" Ino was in a rumpled silk nightgown, her hair in disarray as she peered into the room and spotted him sitting and staring at his daughter, deep in thought. She had clearly been sleeping moments ago, as she had been when he'd left her alone to think the situation through. "Is Aki okay?"

"Yeah...just wanted to sit with her a while." he smiled at her softly, standing carefully and walking slowly across the room so as not to wake his daughter. "Sorry," he wasn't really sure what he was apologizing for, and oddly he felt pleased with himself to know that his absence had disturbed her enough to cause her to wake and come searching for him. "Let's go back to bed." Dim moonlight filtered through the window at the end of the hallway, playing over her figure, and her hair, mussed though it was, seemed to glow against her pale skin. He wrapped an arm around her waist after closing the door quietly and escorted her back to their own bed. He knew that Ino would be in a state if she could see herself in the mirror right now, her hair in disarray and even her slinky nightgown rumpled and twisted a bit to the side, but he loved her better for the raw honesty of her appearance in that moment. He didn't have a problem with her spending time to perfectly smooth down each strand of hair, arranging her outfits just so, but he felt now as he had when he first met her. Ino was more beautiful when she didn't try at all than when there was a veneer of artificiality over her appearance. At least, that was how he felt.

_Maybe it's because it took so much for me to get past that facade, to see her as she truly is, emotionally and physically, maybe that's why. And I know I'm the only one who sees this Ino, the only one who ever will...that's something Shiori doesn't understand and never will. I'm not in love with Ino's blonde hair or her pretty face, I'm not in love with her figure or her snappy comebacks. I love this woman for who she truly is, for all the sides of her I see, even the uglier ones, they come together and make something that is so much greater than the sum of its parts._

"I love you," he knew he should be tired, he knew she must be, but somehow it seemed like more urgent than that was his need to be as close to her as possible, to worship every inch of her and see that liquid look she gave him, that softness that she held underneath all of her other guises, the woman who more than any other aspect she could offer, had so thoroughly drawn him in their freshman year and held him fast since then. "I love you so much," there were no words that could properly express what she meant to him, how highly he valued her, how much stock he placed in her regard. Sometimes, he still had nightmares of losing her, of having her disappear the way she had just after Aki's birth, but not being able to find her this time. True, he loved his daughter with a fierce and desperate love, but nothing could replace Ino, nothing could really comfort him if he lost her. He'd never be the same.

_She taught me to care, to try, to know that there are things in this world worth working for, and she's the thing most worthy. I'd do anything to see her smile, to keep her with me._

He had thought Shiori was smart enough, but if she couldn't see that, couldn't understand it, than she was clearly hopelessly foolish.

_In that way...maybe Kankurou and her are a better match than either of them realize. Maybe they can do for each other what Ino and I were able to do._

But no...it was hard to imagine anything being as great and as powerful as the bond he shared with his wife. Still, he wished Shiori could learn a little of what he knew, so she'd stay away from him and stop risking his own happiness for something shallow and mistaken.

As Ino moved beneath him, responding to his touch and his need, he let his worries fall away as he focused on this thing that had so absorbed him, that had so completely fulfilled him for so long now that he couldn't imagine life without her and her love. Ino _was_ his life, and he knew she always would be.

----------

"Ugh, that is so gross." Sakura was looking distinctly green as she watched Tenten and Ino putting together the most horrific omelets she'd ever seen. "What...are those sardines?"

"Please, nothing like sardines when you're pregnant." Ino nodded, handing Tenten a jar, from which she spooned strawberry jam over the rapidly devolving mixture in the skillet. "And pickles, you're feeling gross now, but wait a couple weeks, you'll be going through pickles like no one's business." she indicated the green discs in the omelet. "Of course we have some peanut butter in there, and some bacon."

"Oh man, after this, you know what I really want?" Tenten tossed a handful of grated cheese over the mix, then another for good measure. "A pork chop in raspberry sauce. And a whole lemon. I could kill for a lemon right now."

"I don't get the lemon thing." Ino admitted to Sakura. "But we're all different...you know what would make this perfect?"

"What?" Tenten asked, and Ino rushed out of the room, returning with a carton of Milk Duds.

"Okay, no way you're seriously going to--" Sakura stopped herself as Ino poured the candies into the omelet, setting the box aside for the next omelet.

"Alright, dish that one up, I'll make the next one." Ino nodded sharply, and Tenten flipped the edge over, letting it cook a moment before it would be ready to leave the pan. Sakura rushed out of the room for the bathroom. "Man, she really got the short end of the stick. Did you get morning sickness?"

"Eh, a little." Tenten admitted. "For a week, it was like being hungover constantly. I had headaches and food made me sick, but then I was over it so fast, and suddenly I couldn't eat enough." she scooped the oozing, overflowing omelet onto her plate and waddled over to the table to eat it. "You?"

"Nope, not a bit of it." Ino winked at her. "I was a little icky with Aki, but I think that might have had more to do with me being super stressed out then with my body being pissed at me. This time...it's been so much easier."

"Poor Sakura," Tenten shook her head. "You know, when I was first getting sick, my mom told me to drink lemon tea, and that helped. And I ate almost nothing but crackers."

"I know she's been eating the crackers, you hardly see her without a sleeve of saltines in her hand, but you'll have to tell her about the tea." Ino tossed a few slices of avocado into the omelet she was making, and after thinking a moment, the rest of the bacon. "I don't want it to suck for her."

"Well, it could be worse." Tenten chewed on a mouthful of the omelet, watching Ino's back as the blonde continued tossing ingredients into the pan. "Notice Hinata...she's still not getting anywhere."

"I should tell her to stop trying," Ino snorted halfheartedly, pouring the rest of the Milk Duds in her omelet and a final handful of cheese for good measure. "That always works for me."

"Well, remember what happened before," Tenten was pitching her voice low, obviously not wanting to blare her speculations about their friend out for everyone to hear. "And last night when Sakura made her announcement, well...I mean, you could see from her face, she's not just keeping it quiet. She's not having any luck. You don't think there's maybe...problems?"

"Well, it's possible." Ino tore the second omelet and frowned before dumping the lot on her plate and grabbing a fork, heading into the dining room to discuss this in a closer atmosphere. "I mean, did you know that her mom died giving birth to her sister?"

"No, I hadn't heard that." Tenten went a little pale, poking at her omelet sadly. "It sucks...I mean, it's so fun being pregnant together, you know, and now with Sakura...but seeing Hinata kind of puts a damper on it. Like...I feel guilty for being happy."

"You feel guilty?" Ino rolled her eyes. "Hey, how do you think I feel?" Ino lowered her head and blew on the omelet so it would cool enough for her to eat. "I have two now, and she can't even hold onto one. And she got so close before. I'd be interested to know if her mom had a lot of miscarriages."

"You know Neji's mom died the same way?" Tenten offered. "I'm pretty sure she married into the family, I seem to remember him saying something about their dad's being twins...but still. You know how he is about her, he probably wants to castrate Suteru to keep her out of danger."

"Like Suteru would want to risk her." Ino shook her head. "It's bad business, that's what. If they want a kid so much, why don't they just adopt? It's not worth the risk if she's going to suffer like last time."

"Those dynasty families are all about the blood thing," Tenten told her, scooping another bite out of her omelet. "Shino's parents are the same crazy way. Although it doesn't seem to really help things that I'm carrying his son with no problems, doesn't count if I'm _common_."

"Oh please," Ino snorted. "Clearly us commoners have better wombs," she patted her stomach, which might just barely be bulging, but not so much that you would notice if you weren't looking for it. "Not that it's helping Sakura at the moment." she gave a wry grin as they heard a groan and the bathroom door closing. "Hey, we're eating our gross omelets in here!" Ino called out. "Enter at your own risk!"

"Gross omelets?" Kankurou came in the kitchen, looking rather intrigued. "What's on 'em?"

"What's _not_ on them would be more of the question." Shikamaru's voice reached them before he entered the kitchen himself with Aki on his hip. "When she's like this...there's pretty much nothing she _won't_ eat. I'm guessing Tenten's the same way."

"Baconeggs!" Aki exclaimed as her father deposited her in a chair beside her mother. She still spent many meals in her high chair, but she was very proud of her ability to sit in a 'big girl chair,' and if Ino was right there, he knew she wouldn't be left to fall out and hurt herself. "Baconeggs an' toast!"

"Coming right up," Shikamaru pressed a kiss to his wife's temple before moving to the kitchen to make Aki some breakfast.

"She sure know what she wants." Kankurou smiled down at Aki. He couldn't help feeling a bit more paternal now that he had a daughter of his own.

"Yeah, you should see when she wants 'chockachip pancakes.' She becomes extremely demanding." Ino giggled as her daughter pulled herself up and inspected her mothers plate, looking for anything she might like, and picking up a sardine that had escaped the omelet. "Careful, sweetie, those are salty."

"Bech! Icky icky yuk!" Aki did a hilarious dance of disgust as she spat out the sardine nearly as soon as it hit her tongue.

"Don't spit, baby, it's not polite." Ino bent and recovered the sardine, setting it on the edge of her plate and wiping her hand on her pants as though it were no big deal.

"Ew, now you have spit hands." Kankurou made a face.

"Yeah, you get used to it." Ino shrugged. "Better than vomit hands, or booger hands. Or Shikamaru's favorite, poopy hands."

"You know I love it when you say poopy, babe." Shikamaru called from the kitchen where he was frying some bacon for himself and his daughter. "Turns me on."

"I know," she winked broadly at their friends. "Nothing like changing diapers to get you in the mood for more sex."

"We're pros now," Tenten told Kankurou triumphantly. "We've been monopolizing the changings to get our practice in," she patted her prodigious stomach.

"It rules," Ino giggled. "And by the time they have their own kid to change, Sakura and Sai will be desperate to perfect their technique. I'll never have to change a diaper again..."

"Um, if you're planning on potty-training her in May." Shikamaru offered from the kitchen, "And you're pulling some sort of magic trick so _that_ one comes out already past the whole diaper thing." he nodded at her as he scrambled some eggs for his daughter and himself.

"No, everyone knows, first child is the mother's job, second child is the father's." Ino gave him such an innocent expression that for a moment, he stopped mixing his eggs before turning and pouring them into the skillet and laughing.

"So what, I wasn't actually required to help with Aki at all?" he asked while Tenten, sick of Kankurou staring over her shoulder offered him a bite of her omelet. The face he made when he took a curious bit was enough to completely derail Ino's train of thought as they both laughed uproariously. Aki had no idea what was so funny, but she laughed as well, just because she could see that everyone else was having a good time, and that was enough for her.

"Oh, that's nice, no one laughed at _her _for the sardine thing." Kankurou pouted as he moved past Shikamaru to rinse his mouth out. "I don't think there's a woman alive who doesn't live to make me miserable."

"She's two years old, Kankurou." Ino pointed out. "We kind of expect you to have a more thorough grounding in basic life skills."

"I don't know, I'd like to believe that Aki has better decision making skills than Kankurou." Shikamaru buttered toast and shook his head at the other man in the kitchen who was huffing back to the dining room. "Aki, no bar skanks!"

"No baskane!" Aki clapped her hands as her father plated their breakfast and brought it out.

"Great, that's a phrase she needed to know." Ino shook her head. "You can explain that one to my parents."

"No baskanks!" Aki's second try was much closer and her father rewarded her with a kiss on her forehead before setting down her plate and his own, turning his chair so that he could assist her with her food, which was not something she wanted to see. As soon as Shikamaru picked up her fork she began fussing. "Aki do it! Aki do it!"

"Hey, you know, you guys are dicks." Kankurou grumbled, and Tenten smacked him without even looking up from her omelet. "I mean...um, you guys are lame. Am I allowed to say lame? Whatever, I'm just saying, it's like every dumb thing I do, you never let it go, but I'd like to point out, I've been dating the same _non_ bar skank girl for over two months now! And Suri wasn't a bar skank. I have plenty of awesome ladies lining up to get with this."

"Good, let's discuss this around my toddler." Ino rolled her eyes. "Honestly, you're such a sleaze. And bringing up those two doesn't help your case. That Shiori...I don't trust her--"

"That's because she reminds you of you!" Tenten teased, giggling between bites, and Ino carried on, pretending to not hear her.

"And furthermore, what kind of guy hooks up with his professor?" Ino continued. "And in any case, everyone knows that even though those two lasted longer, you were cheating on Suri almost the entire time, and same probably goes for Shiori. She trusts you way further than she should. I mean, I'd _never_ let my boyfriend go to his ex's house to visit their child without me along! That's just dumb. And like anyone buys your _errands_ you're always running. Please!"

"Hey!" Kankurou had reddened at her accusations and now looked rather annoyed as well as embarrassed. "First of all, you're just jealous, because Shiori's hotter than you! And as for Suri, um, I'm not the _only_ person in this house to get with a professor, and at least I wasn't totally fucking her behind someone else's back!" he ignored the smack he received this time, too incensed to be bothered by it. "And don't act like you know what's going on with Shiori and me. I'll have you know I haven't ever cheated on her, and I'm not _gonna_. You think you know me so well, you don't have a clue! Besides, I don't have to sit here and get lectured by a girl who spent like half her first year trying to turn Sasuke, and when that fell through, turned on his roommate, got knocked up and then marriage trapped him! Like _you're_ so good at--" Kankurou was cut off when Shikamaru, who had been getting more aggravated at his words, finally surged around the table and punched him in the face. Kankurou jumped up, flushed but clearly ready for a fight, and not at all phased by the strike Shikamaru had just landed.

"You guys, come on," Tenten was feeling distinctly nervous about all of this battling so close to her, especially since her mobility was extremely compromised. "Let's not fight, you'll upset Aki."

"Take it back," Shikamaru hissed, his eyes narrowed and his fists clenched. "Take it back, or I'll really hit you."

"Please, like you could do a damn thing to me." Kankurou bounced around, brushing his cheek off and giving Shikamaru a challenging look. "I took you when it was two on one, you think you have a chance against me now?"

"Oh, you better not!" Ino got up, and Aki looked around in alarm, not sure what was going on but seeing that it wasn't good. She dropped her fork and started to whimper. "No, don't you two start this again! And Kankurou, you had that coming! No need to get so upset, I'm sure you just can't get enough of Shiori, but everyone's seen this before, we know where it's headed. I mean, you were way more serious about Suri, and that still totally crashed and burned, you want me to be optimistic about your prospects with Shiori? Okay, if you're lucky, she'll just leave you for some other guy without figuring out you're fooling around behind her back."

"You...you think you know...think you know so much." Kankurou's eyes flashed, and he moved toward Ino, but Shikamaru put himself in between them at once. "Why don't you ask your fucking _husband_ what he thinks of Shiori?"

"Fuck you!" Shikamaru swung again, and Kankurou caught the hit, but wasn't able to avoid the kick to his groin. He gritted through the pain and punched Shikamaru, not caring about the shrieks of Ino and Aki, ignoring Tenten's attempts to get away from them so she wouldn't be hit by stray blows, only wanting to throttle this smug asshole, cooking breakfast and acting just like he wasn't fucking around in other people's relationships. Like he didn't have a whole family already, he needed to make everyone else around him miserable.

"Isn't it enough?!" his words only confused Ino, who was torn between calming her child and trying to help her husband, who was clearly putting up a fight, but wasn't going to be able to overpower Kankurou, who seemed to be possessed of some demon energy, almost like he had been the day he'd gone after Chouji. He had knocked Shikamaru over and had him down on the ground, where it was everything Shikamaru could do to dodge some of the hits Kankurou was raining on him. "Isn't it fucking enough!? She's not--"

"Kankurou, no!" Shiori's voice was not a huge surprise to any of them, she spent the night at their house rather frequently, especially during weekends and vacations, but considering her behavior the last time something like this had happened, it was surprising to see her throw herself at the pair rolling on the ground now, hitting each other recklessly enough that Shiori almost immediately yelped in pain, having been hit in the face by Kankurou's elbow. Shikamaru froze, and the sound seemed to snap Kankurou out of his rage as well, he turned to see Shiori bent over nearby, clutching her face, tears welling up in her eyes, her body trembling either from adrenaline, fear, or both. The sight sobered him at once.

"Damn, Kankurou!" Ino moved in, seeing that it would be fine now and pulling up Shikamaru, who was bleeding and looking rather dazed. "What the hell is with you lately? Wait until I tell Temari, she'll kick you out of the house if you can't control yourself."

"He hit me first!" he let his anger take the forefront, as his guilt over hitting Shiori, his concern for her...they were both too difficult for him to face at the moment. Anger he could manage. "And you were the one reaming me out! You guys started it! Tenten was here, she knows!"

"Shikamaru _did_ hit him first," Tenten managed from the far side of the room where she'd escaped the possibility of being hit or knocked around. "Shiori, are you okay?" she edged forward, reaching to the younger blonde, who burst into sudden tears and threw herself into Tenten's arms. The brunette girl patted her back and looked at the other adults with a mystified expression on her face. "Um...Shiori?"

"Good job, jackass." Shikamaru's voice sounded a bit like he had a cold, since he was currently nursing a swollen lip and a bloody nose. "Now we see how serious you are about her, serious enough to smack her around."

"You...you!" Kankurou couldn't put up with that. Nothing about this was fair, nothing was right! He should be the one holding Shiori! He shouldn't have hit her, and if it wasn't for Shikamaru, none of this would have happened. "You fucker! You're the one who was making out with her last night!" He hadn't meant to share this information, he'd been concerned that Ino wouldn't allow Shiori within one hundred yards of the house if she knew, but at least the immediate effects of his statement were gratifying. Ino, Shikamaru, and even Tenten were staring at Kankurou in pale-faced shock, while Shiori choked on a sob and suddenly pulled away from Tenten, looking at her boyfriend in horror. Still at her chair, Aki whimpered again, but her parents had bigger concerns at the moment.

"He's lying!" Shiori blurted out the first response. "Nothing...nothing happened!" and she turned to Shikamaru and Ino, looking hopeful and terrified all at once.

"Shikamaru..." Ino had been mopping up her husband's face with a paper towel, but now she was clutching at the bloody towel and setting her jaw, waiting for him to say _something_ to make her feel less like she was going to faint. "Shikamaru...you didn't...did you?"

"It wasn't like that!" he panicked, and Ino went from pale to scarlet in the space of a few seconds. "No, I mean, no, of course we weren't _making out_, I wouldn't...I never did! She kissed me, and I said no, you can ask her, I told her I couldn't--"

"You kissed her!?" Ino's fists were clenched, the towel forgotten in her right hand. "You _kissed_ her?!"

"No! She kissed me! And I didn't--" Shikamaru started, but he was slapped across the face so sharply he saw stars and was momentarily speechless.

"You _kissed _her!" Ino turned, scooped up her whimpering daughter and stormed out of the room and up the stairs, Shikamaru racing after her trying to explain himself with limited success.

"Oh, nice one, genius." Shiori, over the shock of being struck and having her secret revealed so unexpectedly stomped over to Kankurou, smacked him upside the head, and left the room in a huff. "Thanks for the help!" she called over her shoulder, and Tenten, left gazing on, shook her head at him in disbelief before he raced after her.

"Everyone in this house is out of their...ah!" she felt a pain wrack her body, something she had become used to over the past month, especially in stressful situations. "Hey...you calm down, you've got another three weeks." she sat down to eat her omelet and after several bites, bit her lip in pain as she felt another contraction hit her. "Oh fine, then." she spoke with less fear than she felt, standing up and trying not to tremble, suddenly wishing everyone hadn't left so suddenly. She didn't need to be alone at that moment. "Can't even let me get breakfast?" she tottered down the hall to wake up Shino. If she wasn't mistaken, she needed to go to the hospital.

----------

To be continued...


	31. Chapter 31

If I Fall

Chapter 31

"I love you," Kiba nuzzled the back of Temari's neck and she sighed in contentment. Why had she even tried to deny this? Waking up in his arms filled her with such bliss she couldn't believe she had tried so hard to push him away, to ignore her true feelings in favor of her pride. "How about today...what if I moved my stuff back in?"

"Mmm," she snuggled back against him, unable to quell the smile curving her lips in a satisfied arch. "Later, now is time for sleep."

"Sleep, huh?" he ground against her and she let out a low, feral noise before twisting in his arms and kissing him deeply as she ran her hands down his flanks, urging him back so that she could roll on top of him. Continuing to work her hips as she dug her fingers into his sides, she broke the kiss and attacked his neck with her mouh while he clutched at her as if his life depended on it. "Damn...fuck..." he was reduced to cursing in a scratchy, shaking voice as she continued to move against him and then worked her way lower fingernails scratching over his chest as she took him into her mouth, sucking and pulling on him as though she had a desperate need to taste him, but before he could finish, she pulled back and climbed back over him so that she could ride him.

He had lost all powers of speech at this point and could only revel in the sensations she was drowning him in as she took and took from him insatiably, and he found himself going on and giving more when he thought that it was all too much, it was too fast, too intense, and surely any moment he would be pushed past his limits, would crumble beneath her. Somehow he held on, and when he finally did feel himself tumble over the precipice, she fell on him, grounding him and forcibly reminding him of where all this joy was coming from, and he felt like weeping, he was so lucky to be here again in bed with this woman who had become the center of his world, and he knew he would do anything he could to stay here.

"I love you," she breathed the words as she slid off of him, pressing another kiss to his temple almost as an afterthought, and slowly dressing as she stretched her limbs.

"Are we done sleeping now? Because I think I could probably sleep again if you give me a few minutes." he waggled his eyebrows at her and she giggled, tossing a pair of pants at him.

"You wanted to move your stuff in, right?" she reminded him. "Besides, I'm hungry now. You wore me out."

"You did that on your own!" he sat up and began to search for some underwear. "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, woman. You're completely insatiable, like a wild woman. Not that I'd complain."

"Of course not." she gave him a sly smile as she sat down to pull on socks.

"But I thought, you know, if we got back together you'd want to do condoms until I got tested again, but by now we would have blasted through like at least two of those value packs, remember those?"

"Well...I just figured...you were clean before, and you'd been with Hinata then, so what could have changed?" her tone was stiff and oddly forced, and Kiba frowned at her in confusion.

"But Suteru could have-"

"He just seems like such a nice guy so I couldn't imagine him giving her anything, so it seemed silly to go through all that when I knew you were still...totally fine. And I love you!" she giggled in a hysterical fashion and Kiba narrowed his eyes at her.

"Is something...are you hiding something?" he asked her in a hesitant tone. "Only every time you try to lie to me you laugh like that."

"No! What would I be lying about?" she gave him a look of wide-eyed panic and he kneeled in front of her so he could look her in the eyes.

"I don't know, you're acting weird though." he stared at her awhile as though trying to decide if he wanted to pursue his line of questioning, but then stood and retrieved his own socks. "Never mind, I mean, why should I even question you? After everything, you forgave me, you took me back. It isn't like you slept with someone else in the mean time, and I think I'd be happier not knowing if you did. I just want to start over, I don't want to think about the mistakes we made"

"I wouldn't have done anything like that! How can you accuse me of treating you that way?" she sniffed haughtily. "Does it help you feel better to think I was sleeping with some random guy while you were fucking Hinata in our bed?"

"Fuck! I didn't mean it that way!" he held up his hands as though to fend her off. "I really meant that even if something happened while we were split up, even if it didn't actually happen...I mean that it's fine! Not like I think you did or anything, but it's like, fuck, you're acting weird, I don't know what to think, and so whatever it's about, I just mean that I don't care because I love you and it isn't like I could really get pissed over anything after what I did. But...I don't mean that we should keep bringing it up, either, I just mean...damn, can't we just go back to snuggling in bed?" he finally threw up his hands in defeat. "Can't we just pretend I never said anything?"

"I don't know, can we?" she huffed. "I still can't believe you'd think it was okay to even imply I might do something like that. Just because I trust you enough to not use condoms still after you cheated on me, I feel like it must be true, no good deed goes unpunished."

"Fuck, I already said that I didn't really mean it that way." Kiba heaved a sigh. "I don't think you cheated on me, and even if you had been with someone else, you'd already broken up with me, so it's not really my business, it just...I mean, obviously I don't want to think of someone else being with you, but even if you had not that you ever would, I'm just trying to say I wouldn't be upset."

"I can see you're not going to let this go." Temari scowled at him. "I'm starting to wonder if this was a good idea."

"Dammit, we made up like seven hours ago! Can you give me a break?" he was now seriously concerned. "It only seemed weird because you were so paranoid before we got together, like you hadn't even been with a guy for over a year and you still wanted to be tested, I just thought it was crazy that you didn't worry about anything and just jumped back into it! I mean, you're on the pill and everything so obviously we don't have packs of condoms just sitting around, so it isn't like I'm worried about that, and I honestly didn't think I would get anything from what happened either, like Hinata told me before that Suteru had never been with anyone, so it's like, how? But I just meant-"

"What do you mean by that?" Temari cut him off. "You're just worried that I could be pregnant?"

"No! I'm not at all! If I was, do you think I would have been down with not using condoms? Shit, Temari." Kiba shook his head in disbelief.

"You make it sound like it would be such a problem if I was pregnant, but look at our friends! We're like the only straight couple in this house without a kid or one on the way!" she shot back. "Don't you think we're ready for that sort of thing?"

"Um, well considering we were broken up until last night, yeah I'd say we weren't ready." he defended himself. "But I mean eventually, sure, I'd like to have kids with you. We've talked about it, right, and I still feel that way, but I mean, we should wait until we're a little more stable, and we should probably get married first, but I know you don't really want-"

"So now this is all my fault!" Temari threw up her hands. "I won't marry you so we shouldn't have kids, I broke up with you so we shouldn't have kids! You just don't want kids, I see how it is! Maybe I should just cut my losses now and find someone who wants to have children with me."

"Temari, fuck..." Kiba suddenly straightened up as the dots connected in his mind. "Are you pregnant?"

"Not the last time I checked," she scowled. "But we did just have sex, I could be!"

"But you're on the pill, it's not really..." Kiba suddenly felt oddly dizzy. "I mean, you are on the pill still, right? You didn't stop taking it because we were broken up or anything?"

"I don't see why that's relevant." she frowned and turned away so he couldn't meet her eyes and he leapt to his feet, turning her to look at him.

"Temari, tell me you're still on the pill." he insisted as gently as he could with the panic rising in him. "I mean, you wouldn't just...not if you weren't still on it." She blinked at him and then turned away, flushing deeply. "Temari, I need you to tell me. I mean, I trusted you! I wouldn't have...not if I thought you weren't still..."

"This is just proof you don't want to have kids with me." she shook her head furiously. "No, fine, I'm not on it! We were broken up for months, why would I keep taking it? It would be depressing every day taking it on the off chance that some guy would look at me twice."

"Temari...why would you...if you weren't on it, why would you just..." Kiba looked like he was desperately trying to stay calm. "You didn't want to...who would do that? I fucking trusted you! You could be pregnant right now!"

"I know!" Temari whirled around and heaved a deep sigh. "Look, everything that happened between us was upsetting for me and all, but at the same time I find out Kankurou has Shizuka, and I just...I realized that more than anything I want to have a child of my own, and I had wanted them with you, but things didn't work out so I thought maybe I could..."

"You were trying to get pregnant? When we weren't even together?" Kiba's voice cracked in alarm. "Have you lost your fucking mind? What were you going to do when it worked? What were you planning to tell me?"

"I was going to raise it myself, it isn't like I'm not mature enough, like I don't have the experience after all this time with Aki." she felt her emotions overwhelming her and she bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears. "I thought if we were back together, it would be even better, but if you really don't want a baby, I'm not going to make you stay with me-"

"So I'm sorry, let me get this straight," anger was seeping into Kiba's voice. "I'm not good enough to marry you, but I am good enough to be your fucking breeding stud baby-daddy, whatever the fuck? Do you even hear what you're saying, Temari? There's a difference between not wanting kids at all and not wanting you to fucking ninja pregnancy me without ever fucking asking if I'm maybe ready for that yet!"

"We weren't together when I made the choice, I wasn't really going to discuss it with you." she told him, her voice trembling slightly as she stuck her chin up as though she honestly saw nothing wrong with her decision.

"Jesus, if you wanted a fucking baby so bad you could have found someone who wanted to do that instead of just being sneaky about it!" he threw up his hands in disbelief. "How am I supposed to trust you anymore?"

"How am I supposed to trust you?" she stomped sharply. "Look, I want a kid, and I thought that it was better to just go ahead and have one now rather than wait until I can possibly find myelf in a working relationship. It's obvious I'm not capable of holding onto a man, so okay, what I did was...weird, I know, but it's what I want!"

"Temari...I don't even know what to say to you right now, it's just so-" Kiba was cut off by sharp knocking on the door and he turned, thinking about telling whoever it was to go away when they heard Naruto's excited voice.

"Tenten's gone into labor! Everyone get ready, we're going to follow her and Shino to the hospital!" they heard the sound of him running down the hall and knocking on more doors and they turned to face each other.

"We'll talk about this later." Kiba felt oddly resigned, and he still didn't know how to feel about what Temari had done, what she had persisted in doing. However, now he knew that his friends needed him, and he'd have to do his best to keep his own problems on the backburner while he supported them.

* * *

"Hello, this is Hinata speaking," Suteru looked up from where he was eating breakfast to see his wife answering the phone before he could even think to get up. "Thank you for calling, Naruto, it's so good to hear from you! Is there anything—oh, I see! That is indeed…we'll be there as soon as possible." There was a pause and Suteru frowned at her in curiosity and she gave him a weak smile. "No, of course it's no trouble, you know I wouldn't miss it. Is she feeling all right? Well of course, that's a silly question. Yes." Another long pause. "Of course, yes, give my best to everyone, we'll be there soon." She hung up the phone and turned to Suteru, a tremulous expression on her face.

"What is it? Is everything all right?" he asked her in concern at once.

"It's Tenten, she's having the baby right now, Naruto called to let us know so we could meet them at the hospital." She forced a smile and he set down his spoon, standing up and holding his arms out to her expectantly. She came to him at once and burst into tears as soon as she felt his arms embrace her. "I'm…so horrible."

"You aren't horrible, you don't know how to be." He assured her, smoothing her hair and pressing a kiss to her ebony head.

"I should be happy! But I just feel…" Hinata hiccupped and he tilted her face upwards, brushing her tears away with his thumb as they continued to fall.

"You can't help being upset, love." Suteru told her. "It's totally reasonable, we haven't had any luck with doctors, and you wanted so badly to have a child, when your friends seem to be doing it with no trouble, of course you'd be sad for yourself even while you feel happy for them."

"I can't cry at the hospital…I can't, they'll take it the wrong way, and I don't want to ruin Tenten's day." She sniffled and he kissed her forehead.

"I think no one would be upset with you, they know you've been trying, even if they don't know about your troubles fully, they all know you've lost one child; I don't really think they would judge you harshly for being emotional on such an important day." he told her gently, and she nodded and gave him a wobbly smile. "If it's too upsetting for you we don't have to go, I could make some excuses for us."

"No!" she pulled back and scrubbed at her face vigorously. "I definitely want to be there. Tenten and Shino are such good friends, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself missing this." she gave him a stronger smile than before, and apparently satisfied by this, he turned to pick up his keys and she ran to fetch her coat and purse.

_I can be strong for my friends, I know I can. They've always been so strong, and now it is my turn. As long as I have Suteru, I know I can._

It seemed as though she was still thinking these things when Suteru parked the car and turned to her with a questioning look on his face. She nodded sharply and he walked in with her, her arm laced through his and his other hand covering her fingers as they rested in the crook of his arm. She concentrated on his warm, solid presence even as they entered the waiting room dominated by her friends.

"Hinata! Suteru!" Naruto rose to greet them at once, and Hinata couldn't stop herself giggling at his exuberance. Why should she feel bad about this when he was in a similar situation, albeit for vey different reasons? If Naruto stayed with Sasuke, which she had no doubt that he would, the only way they could have children was adoption, and it was obvious to her that he would love to have children, yet she saw no trace of jealousy or bitterness in his expression. He saw no reason to not be excited about this child even if it wasn't his, and Hinata privately hoped she could be half as selfless as him.

"Is Shino in the room with Tenten?" she asked, noticing that she couldn't see the father to be in the waiting room. However, now that she was takin stock, she could also see that her cousin and his lover were missing, which wasn't too surprising, but she also couldn't see Kiba or Temari, and she felt a pang of guilt and concern, hoping they could somehow work things out. She hated feeling partially responsible for their break up, and the fact that things had been mended between Suteru and her only magnified for her the problems between those two.

"Yeah, every once in a while he'll come in here or run past to call her parents or get her ice or something, but he's even quieter than usual so you can't really get a good update from him." Naruto laughed.

"Did Neji and Gaara decide not to come or..." she drifted off, blushing deeply and she felt oddly less self conscious when Naruto also flushed at her implication. "And where is Temari? I know Kiba is not living at the house any more, so I understand if he is a big late, but I thought for sure she would be here."

"Eheh, well, actually Kiba and Temari came together, so everyone thought, you know, maybe they're back together, but they were acting weird and like ten minutes ago Temari I guess said something and Kiba called her a name and they left so they could go fight, I think. So they're probably in Temari's car, hopefully working things out." he shrugged and scratched the back of his head as though unsure of what else to say. "And...well, we all kind of left in a hurry and then I saw Neji and Gaara aren't here. I tried calling, but neither of them is picking up."

"Oh." she blushed once more and Naruto leaned in.

"Also, don't try to talk to Ino, I guess her and Shikamaru are fighting so she's a little touchy." He advised her in a low tone and she nodded, frowning with concern at the blonde woman who was holding her daughter in her lap and shooting glares at a very exasperated looking Shikamaru.

"Is it serious?" she asked, and Naruto shrugged again.

"With Ino, who can say? Also I think Shiori's upset with Kankurou, she said she was going home instead of coming, and when Kankurou asked if she'd be over later she told him something that I don't want to say with Aki in the room even if she can't hear me from here. So, you know, exciting times in the big house." he finished with a big grin and she wished she could have his confidence that everything would be okay even with so many couples fighting.

But then again, was it really a time for bickering? Her thoughts went to Shino and Tenten, and while she couldn't help the twinge of jealousy, she concentrated her efforts on hoping hints would go smoothly for Shino's little family, and that very soon there would be a new member of their extended family group, because over the years she had come to feel as hough this group was somehow more than friends, even if they didn't all have blood ties, there was more than enough love between them.

To be continued...


	32. Chapter 32

If I Fall

Chapter 32

"Your phone..." Gaara gasped and accidentally dropped the ringing phone he had retrieved from the end table as Neji suddenly switched from licking his shaft to taking the whole thing as deep in his throat as he could and swallowing repeatedly to create a sensation that Gaara thought should either be illegal or possibly qualify him for a Nobel prize. "Some...someone...c-calling y-aah hah!" he threw his head back so swiftly Neji heard the crack of it impacting with their headboard and he released Gaara in concern.

"Are you hurt?" he asked, and in answer Gaara writhed and grabbed Neji by his forelocks, pulling him forward into a crushing kiss, as though he hadn't been able to taste him in months, when in reality they hadn't really left their bed since last night. Gaara seemed to believe they needed to make up for lost time, and Neji tended to agree. Gaara was still squirming under him in a delicious manner, and Neji was starting to think he'd be ready for another go before they got up for breakfast.

"I want you so bad," Gaara's voice trembled as he dropped Neji's hair in favor of running his hands down Neji's sides and grinding against him maddeningly before he spoke again in a husky, imploring tone. "Can I suck you?"

Neji blinked, unsure whether Gaara really felt he had to ask permission, or if he actually realized how irresistible his guileless approach was to Neji. The real problem now would be trying to find his voice to give a discernable answer, so instead of trying he nodded vigorously. Gaara rolled them over and kissed him again before working his way down fingers grazing Neji's flanks, ghosting over his abs and chest then moving back down to grip his hips firmly as he began torturously licking Neji's length so that he knew with certainty that he was more than ready, if only he could hold back long enough to come inside Gaara instead of losing it in his mouth, which seemed a distinct possibility.

"Gaara, fuck," Neji felt like weeping in gratitude when Gaara finally took him in, and he felt like cursing for an entirely different reason when Gaara's ringtone filled the air. "You...phone...ah, don't stop. Fuck that's so...fuck, please...just a little more." his fingers sunk into Gaara's scarlet curls and he doubted he would be able to stop himself from coming in his mouth, but it turned out his lover knew his body well enough to know when to pull away and move over him, preparing himself slowly to give Neji time to cool down.

Finally, he could feel himself being guided into his lover, but even without the sensation, the blissful look on Gaara's face alone would have clearly indicated what was happening. Then his phone started ringing again and Gaara paused, blinking at Neji in question. "Fuck!" he gripped the redhead by the hips and flipped him back so that he was on top in all senses of the term. "Fucking...people...who...calls...this...fucking...early...on...fucking...New...Years?" he ground the words out in furious lust punctuating each one with a deep, barely controlled thrust, but the noises of appreciation Gaara was responding with effectively destroyed the last vestiges of his control, and he ended up pounding thoughtlessly into his lover, barely feeling Gaara's bruising grip on his hips, feeling only the breathless climb and the inevitable climax and then collapsing on Gaara just as his lover's phone started ringing again.

"Who wants to talk to us this bad?" Gaara asked, laughing breathlessly at the caller's persistence. "I can't think of anyone who likes me that much who doesn't live here." Neji shifted off of him despite Gaara's boneless attempt to keep him from moving and grabbed Gaara's ringing phone as if it was his own.

"Hey Naruto," he answered after glancing at the caller ID, and Gaara immediately felt a tangle of emotions he still wasn't entirely sure of or comfortable with. Sometimes he wondered if his life would be simpler if he had never known the blonde, but even now, when he felt so much regret over their encounter during finals, he still didn't think it would be worth it to sacrifice all the good times he had shared with Naruto, all he had learned from him and even the hard times when they had been able to support each other. "He's right here, we were having sex, so you know." Despite everything, Gaara felt odd hearing Neji tell Naruto they had just been intimate in passing, as though it should not emotionally impact the other man at all.

_Or maybe he's still a little jealous, and he can't help wanting to rub it in Naruto's face that I'm happy with him. _Neji had explained a bit about his feelings surrounding everything that had happened with Naruto last night, but Gaara couldn't help thinking it was unbelievable that Neji could ever worry that Gaara would care more about Naruto than him. Certainly he would always love Naruto in his own way, but it was not a demanding, all-consuming love like what he felt for Neji. It was just that in Gaara's case, he didn't think many people were capable of loving him, so he was deathly afraid of burning his bridges with any of those very few precious people.

"Oh, I see. Yes, we may have been asleep then." Neji laughed here, and it didn't sound forced, so Gaara wondered if he was feeling jealous still, or if he was just so comfortable with Naruto that he saw no need to stand on pretense. After all that had happened between the four of them including Sasuke, it was possible that was just how Neji felt. "We were going to eat something...maybe in thirty minutes? I'm not as baby-crazy as you...I'm sure he does, but I'm not going anuwhere until I've eaten.". There was a pause here during which Neji brushed the fringe off of Gaara's forehead and pressed a soft kiss to the skin there. "Yes, I know he is, I'll be there. Calm down, have Sasuke give you a hand job in the restrooms." Another pause and he laughed again, "It works for me, just trying to help. Okay." Neji handed the phone to Gaara who felt very off-balance and unsure of what to say as he put it to his ear.

"Gaara?" Naruto sounded as sweet as he always did, and Gaara found it was easier to answer than he had thought.

"Naruto," he might not be a social genius, but he could pick up on context clues pretty well these days. "Is it Tenten?"

"Yeah, she went into labor this morning." Naruto sounded as excited as if it was his child. "I thought you guys heard me makin the rounds to get everyone to the hospital, but I started to worry when Hinata got here before you two. I mean, I know you can get distracted sometimes, so I thought you'd be right behind us, but I wanted to call and check."

"We were having sex." Gaara was amazed at his own audacity and felt foolish and apologetic at once. "Sorry."

"No! Don't apologize, you guys should be...yeah, sorry, Aki's in my lap so I can't talk about that as much. I guess Ino thinks Shikamaru did something, they're fighting and I don't know what it is but Kankurou punched him and so he had to go home." Naruto babbled, and Gaara frowned, interested despite himself. "But I'm glad you two are...you know, doing that."

"Kankurou punched Shikamaru?" his question gave Neji, who was meticulously kissing his way down the tendon on Gaara's neck, a reason to pause and come up for air. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know, but Ino told him he deserved it, and then they threw out Kankurou, and they were questioning Shikamaru but he was just like 'fuck this' and left and then Ino went after him yelling about him needing to be a man...so who knows." Naruto sounded a little breathless. "And by the way, do you know what's going on with Temari and Kiba?"

"Nothing since October...or is there?" Gaara was unsure, considering that other than punching Kiba the morning after he had cheated on his sister, he had been too immersed in his own situation to wonder how his sister was dealing with what had to be the hardest break up of her life. She had been with Kiba so pong he had forgotten about her past disappointments, but surely considering what a wreck she'd been after the Kamae debacle, it must have been hard on her. "Why? Did something happen?"

"Well, they both came in her car, an I didn't even know he'd spent the night." Naruto explained, and Gaara felt like he might soon have to punch Kiba. "But now they're out in the parking lot fighting about...I don't know, so I don't know if they're getting back together or what, but I wondered if she'd said anything to you."

"No, I don't know anything about that." Gaara scowled. "So Tenten is having her baby, Kiba and Temari are fighting, Ino and Shikamaru are fighting, and also Kankurou is angry at Kankurou. Is that everything?"

"Um, no, I guess also Shiori's and Kankurou are fighting about something." Naruto explained in an almost apologetic voice.

"Straight couples," he snorted, and felt a deep warmth in his gut as both Neji and Naruto both laughed at his comment, and he forgot to be annoyed at Kiba and concerned about his siblings and nervous of Naruto. He suddenly felt as though he would get back his ability to be completely comfortable and honest with Naruto, and it made him so happy he almost wanted to cry, but instead he kissed Neji, melting his smile away. "We'll be there soon, don't start fighting with Sasuke."

"You just want to be here to snuggle me if I do." Naruto laughed again and it struck Gaara that Naruto really was not afraid or upset because of the encounter that Gaara himself had been agonizing over for weeks. Somehow, when Naruto insisted that he was fine, Gaara doubted him, but to hear him joke so easily about their oddly ambiguous relationship, it made it clear that Naruto and his idea of Gaara had suffered no I'll effects caused by Gaara's impulsiveness.

"Ah...we'll be there soon." he found himself too surprised to tease back, and he ended the call in a hurry. Neji had climbed out of bed and was pulling on pants, but stopped at the expression on Gaara's face.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. "Kiba and your sister? And what's going on with Kankurou."

"I don't know," he climbed into Neji's lap, making his task impossible, but making kissing very easy.

"Gaara, I don't really think I can get ready again for a while," Neji told him apologetically as Gaara slowly ground against him and shove a hand down Neji's underwear.

"Is that a challenge?" Gaara raised a brow and licked his lips, lowering himself to the ground between Neji's legs and shoving down his pants. "I accept."

* * *

"What do you want from me?" Shikamaru turned to face his irate wife. "I told you what happened, I don't see how I was supposed to expect her to pull anything like that, how I was supposed to stop her from trying."

"How couldn't you? You're so stupid, it's really hard to believe you're a genius." Ino snapped at him, cradling her stomach in an unconscious protective gesture Shikamaru recalled from her first pregnancy, and it was hard not to think she was intentionally reminding him of _both _their children, as though he had ever forgotten or ever could. "First Temari gets sprung on you, and you're completely surprised that any girl even notices you. Then I come after you and you act like you might as well enjoy it until I regain my sanity. Then we fight over you, and you still can't comprehend why any girl would want anything to do with you. And this little...that girl shows up, and it's so obvious that I warn you and Sakura warns you and Temari warns me, but you're so _sure _that even I start to think that it's safe, that it's fine, and then...I haven't even started to get fat! And we're married, I thought you would know if anything was going to come between us, or try, but fucking Kankurou gets to walk in on you making out with his preteen skank!"

"Ino, I will try one last time what happened," Shikamaru's voice was low and dangerous, but then he suddenly raised it, "if you'll promise to fucking listen to your fucking husband who has never once betrayed you and give me the benefit of the doubt for five minutes! I get that your hormones are crazy bit right now I need you to fucking listen!"

Ino was shocked to hear him shout and curse so much, as he was rarely angry enouh to do either. She nodded silently, trying her hardest not to simply burst into tears and knowing she would likely lose it if she tried to speak.

"Last night, Shiori told me she had something for Kankurou and she needed my help." his voice was low again, but Ino was clearly wary of his anger. "She led me out back and started talking weird, but I didn't realize what was going on until she just...lunged at me and kissed me. I didn't expect it, but I didn't kiss her back. I pushed her away and told her I'm married and she needs to forget it. So then she said that we could..." Shikamaru struggled here, clearly embarrassed to have a woman throwing herself at him. "She said she could be my...mistress for now, she told me she was like you but better and I told her I wasn't interested in her, and that if she really thinks she's better than you, or even better for me, she doesn't know you at all, because Ino, as far as I'm concerned, there has never been anyone better for me than you, and there never could be." he paused here and Ino struggled to not let he lower lip tremble too obviously. "I know that I'm oblivious about girls, and I still don't get what you see in me, but if I'm lucky enough to be with you, I certainly would never do anything to cuck that up. I know you think it's weird that I didn't say anything, but I thought...I told her no, I should just let her get on with her life. Maybe she can learn to care about Kankurou instead of using him to try to get close to me, which was probably the single worst plan in the history of failed addictions. Maybe not, but I assumed Kankurou didn't know what she was up to, and I didn't want to interfere with that, and I honestly didn't think you'd be able to resist blowing the whistle on her, so I thought I'd give her the chance to deal with it on her own, but if she tried anything again I was going to tell you and stop accepting her tutoring requests."

He took a deep breath then and looked at her hopefully as she tried to think of all the reasons she couldn't or shouldn't trust him or forgive him, but it was difficult. Because he was so clueless about this type of thing, she had assumed he would have just decided to ignore what happened and hoped she didn't find out, or perhaps told himself that she had drunkenly mistaken him for Kankurou. She hadn't honestly thought he would carry on with another woman behind her back, partially because he was one of the least sneaky people she had ever known, and also because she thought she knew him well enough to know he would like juggling two women infinitely less than one. But she hadn't expected him to reject Shiori so clearly, or to defend Ino to her. She hadn't expected him to put so much thought into what he should do, if he should tell her and when and why. She had one perfect moment of irrational burning hatred for his stupid logic, and then she burst into noisy tears of relief.

"I thought...I thought you were sick of being tied down to your angry, pregnant, fat, gossipy wife!". She hiccupped and was momentarily surprised to find his arms around her.

"You aren't fat." he assured her, "and you aren't always angry."

"I-I will be! I'll be so fat, and look at her! She won't even be the last, it doesn't matter even when you get old, the reason girls can't resist you has nothing to do with how you look!" she sobbed noisily.

"Gee, thanks." he deadpanned, patting her head.

"But I'm just going to keep getting fatter and uglier and meaner and you'll hate me and get a divorce and leve the kids with me and drive around in your mid-life crisis car with all you girlfriends that are half your age and our kids will like you more anyway because who wouldn't? And I'll be alone and no one will want me, and I hate that!" she sniffled sharply as he pushed her back enough to kiss her forehead and wipe her tears away.

"I'm pretty confident that I'll always be uglier than you, and if you honestly think your not inconsiderable sex appeal is the only reason I'm with you than you're even more clueless than me." he told her sharply. "You're amazing, and I would never leave you. I'm not saying you're perfect, neither of us is, no one is, really, but you're perfect for me. I don't care if twenty years from now your genetically engineered clone tries to get me to cheat on you, she won't really be you, she won't be the woman who taught me to care, to try, to work for my family, so she'll never really understand me and I won't be interested. Part of the reason I never expected what happened with Shiori is that I have absolutely no interest in her because she isn't you, and you're the only one I want, the only one I'll ever want."

"I hate you." she sniffled weakly. "I think you sit around writing speeches to make me cry when we're not fighting so you can always get out of trouble when we do."

"Maybe," he kissed her cheeks reverently. "You get me to finish my homework before it's due, that doesn't seem like that much more effort in comparison."

"Let's never fight again." she sniffled again. "Shikamaru?"

"Yes?" he kissed her lips briefly, just to feel them beneath his.

"I hope Tenten's son is hot." she told him earnestly, "So he can marry Aki."

"That's seriously what you want to say right now?" he sighed as she blinked at him. "Yeah, okay, let's go back."

To be continued...


End file.
